Donnie watches WWF 1983

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BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
March 23rd, 1983
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 Don Muraco w/Lou Albano vs Jerry O

Don is wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt that i imagine he stole from a child like the amazing bully he is. Good stuff from Muraco as always as he moves into maybe the best squash guy in the company. Everything is mean as hell and he never wastes a second on anything. He wins with a spinebuster.
*3/4

Match#2 Rocky Johnson vs Jose Estrada
Very bad and lame, and i will dread seeing the name Rocky until 95, or maybe 97. He wins with his crumby sunsetflip.
1/2*

Match#3 Ivan Koloff vs ??
No

Match#4 SD Jones vs Mac Rivera

Oh, that's just mean. Very bad and lame, and i want Hogan to show up and launch this company into the stratosphere so we can move away from a ton of these morons getting TV time in the wrong ways. SD wins with a sunset flip
1/2*

Match5 Mr Fuji

fuck off
 
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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
April 2nd, 1983
Hamburg, PA


Tony Garea is joining Vince on commentary. Fuck it, least it means he's not wrestling.

Match#1 Don Muarco w/Lou Albano vs Greg Winston
The jobber's name sounds like a uni lecturer that makes you read his book. Don beats the shit out of him in another great squash, and he's the sole highlight of a lot of these very bad shows and.i assume that'll stay the same for a long while. Real mean shit for a while and he kills the loser with a nasty Tombstone.
**

Match#2 SD Jones vs B.B Coleman
B.B looks like a truck driver that shoots meth into his eyes to stay awake for a week. SD is a coward who wouldn't do such a thing, so fuck him even more. Sunset flip ends the horror.
1/2*

Match#3 Sgt. Slaughter w/Grand Wizard vs Pete Sanzhez.

SARGE IS FINALLY BACK. THANK YOU GOD. it's heartbreaking to think that GW will be dead by October and won't be able to be there for the part of sarge's career, but at least we got this. Sarge beats the fuck out of the jobber and it's the classic mean as hell Slaughter squash. Cobra Clutch does it
**

Rodgers Corner w/Andre The Giant. Rodgers starts the bullshit narative of Andre never losing a match, which is going to matter in 87. Andre says he loves to make people happy and give them a chance to see a giant. The interview ends right away in a really weird bit.

Match#4 Rocky Johnson vs Bobby Golden
Bad as always, not saying anything else. Dropkick ends my pain

Black Adam
 
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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
April 9th, 1983
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 Big John Studd w/Freddie Blassie vs Greg Winston

Grand Wizard is on commentary and he laughs his balls of the entire time as John murders this dork. Backbreaker does the job
*3/4

In a pretape, Vince interviews Studd. John says he read a magazine that had Andre as the cover star and it had the picture of him holding a beer can, but none of him training and getting sweaty and hard, and he never saw him in the ring with the real giant. He's going to make sure Andre is looking up at the lights.

Rodgers Corner w/Bob Backlund. Bob is working out in the background on a stairmaster type machine, and a doctor says it's a step test to work on stamina and endurance and only a few can do it in the world. Bob's muscles make it harder for him to do it, but he's somehow getting it done and that's why he's a champion. Super weird stuff, but Backlund is a super weird dude. so it works.

Match#2 Jimmy Snuka vs B.B Coleman
Snuka does his thing and it's a bad wildman thing as his strikes all look like shit. Just a bum outside and inside of the ring outside of maybe 4 matches in his entire life after this point. GW says Slaughter is coming after Snuka, and i don't even know how those matches are going to work, but it'll be cool to see. Splash ends it.
1/2*

In the back, Backlund is still doing steps. Crazy bastard.

Match#3 Mike Sharpe vs Mack Rivera.
Sharpe only gets 2 minutes this week, but he makes the most of it by beating the snot out of the jobber and ending it with a nasty forearm.

*
 

BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
April 16th, 1983
Hamburg, PA


Andre is on commentary this week.

Match#1 Don Muarco w/Lou Albano vs Charlie Brown
Don wins in 10 seconds with a powerslam.
Beach Bum.

Match#2 Sgt Slaughter w/Grand Wizard vs Barry Hart

Wonderful 3 minute squash for Sarge. He unloads on Barry in so many gross ways, and Barry takes an all time beating as only he can. Cobra Clutch ends it
**

Match#3 Mike Sharpe vs SD Jones

SD finally gets squashed, and hopefully it stays this way. Quick one sadly, but whatever. Forearm does it
1/2*

They replay the tag title switch.
 

BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
April 23rd, 1983
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 Sgt Slaughter w/Grand Wizard vs SD Jones

YES. Sarge maims this shithead in the feel good squash of the year. Just a wonderful murder for a few minutes, and it's everything we wanted and needed. Sarge locks in one of the meanest CC's ever and shakes this asshole all over the place before he finally makes him pass out.
**

Match#2 Don Muraco w/Lou Albano vs Bob Bradley
Awesome squashes continue with Don doing his thing against a really good jobber. DON HITS A GROSS SPIKE TOMBSTONE AND DROPS THE POOR KID RIGHT ON TOP OF HIS HEAD. FUCKING HELL. That's it.
**

Match#3 Big John Studd w/Fredie Blassie vs Barry Hart

Holy shit, what en episode. Studd does his normal fun stuff, but it's even better when you have a pro like Barry dying on everything in so many hideous ways. Backbreaker ends it.
*3/4

Match#4 Ivan Koloff vs Charlie Brown
Good grief.

Match#5 Mike Sharpe vs Tony Colon

Sharpe ends the show on the best note with another killer squash. Super mean and violent and just plain cool as hell. Forearm does it.
**
 

BigVanDonnie

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WWF PHILADELPHIA SPECTRUM
APRIL 30TH, 1983

Match#1 Andre The Giant & Rocky Johnson vs Big John Studd & Don Muarco (Swede Hansen is the guest referee)

Swede got the job because the state athletic commission wanted someone who could take of business and handle this MASS of humanity, which is a cool thing that i'm a sucker for. Super fun babyface shine to start, and for once Rocky doesn't completely suck a dick. Andre/Don is amazing as hell, and i need a singles match at some point. Don catches him with a NASTY knee to the face and levels the big man, and Studd tags in and picks the bones and locks in a massive face headlock to wear him down, and you can feel the crowd living and dying on every second Andre is stuck on the ground. Studd works it really well as he twists and turns Andre's massive head and tries to rip it off, and the big man doggedly fights to stay alive and get out of it. Andre gets close, but Don jumps off the top rope with a knee to keep him down, but it only works for a moment as the big man gets back up and he's PISSED. He unloads on the boys and beats them all over the ring and it's such a cool thing to see him owning them and selling at the same time. Rocky gets the hot tag and does ok for a minute or so, before Studd clobbers him to take back over. Awesome work from the boys, and to his credit, Rocky does a very good job taking a beating. I would never dare to say he's improved, but he's ok on this night. Shit breaks down and Don acciendlty runs into Swede, AND SWEDE POWERSLAMS HIM AND ROCKY JUMPS ON TOP AND HANSEN COUNTS THE 3. BOOOOOO.
**3/4

Super fun bullshit.

Match#2 Bob Backlund (c) vs Mike Sharpe (WWF World Championship)
Bob is booed pretty badly and he does his best to ignore it, but this is the start of the fans getting tired of him and why Vince is going to do what he does next. This is not very good at all as it's mostly headlocks and bad slams from Iron, and Bob isn't really killing himself either. Just a bad match up, and a bad night for both of them. It goes on like this for nearly 18 minutes and it's beyond painful, and i have no idea why they're shititng the bed like this, but we're here sadly. Backlund finally fights back and wins with a fancy pinfall to end my pain.

1/2*
 

BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
May 7th, 1983
Hamburg, PA

Match#1 Big John Studd w/Freddie Blassie vs Charlie Brown

BJS gets 3 minutes this week and fucks around with a headlock just to be a dick, and it's a great little thing for a bully to do. The fans chant for Andre, which in turn pisses Studd off and increases the beating Brown gets. Backbreaker ends it.
*3/4

Match#2 Sgt Slaughter vs Tony Colon

FUCK YEAH, I greatly missed Sarge murdering people in the few months i stopped doing this. Sarge beats the snot out of him and it's a complete blast, and it also means without question that Sarge is the best squasher in the company. Shame he won't be rewarded until 91 when THAT stuff happens, but at least it happens. Sarge breaks out a slingshot suplex and a flying closeline off the top!!. Cobra Clutch ends it
**

Match#3 Mr Fuji vs Jack Carson
No thanks

Match#4 Don Muraco w/Lou Albano vs SD Jones
This could be a replay of the same match we've seen a thousand times, and i wouldn't be able to tell the difference tbqh. Don rules and SD is trash, you know the score, friends. SD loses to a Piledriver.
*

Post match, Don ties SD in the ropes and beats the fuck out of him, but that pesky fucker Rocky Johnson runs down to make the save and cleans house much to the delight of the crowd.

Rodgers Corner with Jimmy Snuka. Snuka talks about how he loves the fans and whatnot (also drugs and murdering people). He thanks Rodgers for bringing him back from the darkness and he knows with all these people in his corner, he's going to the top.

Match#4 Rocky Johnson vs Tony Manton
Normal lame stuff from Rocky. He's just not very good at all, and no push or a carry job is going to fix it. He wins with his bad dropkick.
1/2*

Match#5 Iron Mike Sharpe w/Lou Albano vs Barry Hart

The king of the jobbers match!! Killer shit from Mike as he's mean as hell just clubbing the fuck out of Barry, and Barry rocks dying on everything. Sharpe wins with the loaded forearm
**
 

BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
May 14th, 1983
Allentown, PA


Tonight; Slaughter vs Jules Strongbrow

Match#1 Don Muarco w/Lou Albano vs Eddie Gilbert
Hell yeah. Eddie gets some awesome shine and Don bumps like crazy for him, and it's a great moment to show what the kid's got. Don takes back over with a gross knee to the gut and beats Eddie's ass in revenge. Don even hits a Hot Shot in a awesome moment and then a nasty tombstone to win.
**

Match#2 Ivan Putski vs Charlie Fulton
LMAO NO

Match#3 George Steele w/Freddie Blassie vs Barry Hart
Thankfully only 50 seconds of trash before he wins with his bad hammerlock
poop

The file fucks up and we jump right to Sarge.

Match#4 Sgt Slaughter w/Grand Wizard vs Jules Strongbow
Sarge's biggest task thus far is to get something out of a complete nothing, and he mostly does his job. Jules is horrible and can't wrestle, but Sarge takes wild ass bumps for him and makes it work. He thankfully takes over and beats the shit out of him with some nasty, nasty shots. Cobra Clutch ends the fun
**

Match#5 Tito Santana vs Jose Estrada
OH MY GOD YES. Tito is back and the WWF gets another insane shot in the arm that will reward them (and us) for the next decade plus) He's so smooth and stupidly good at everything, and having an all time goon like Jose in there only helps with that. He throws those dropkicks and the armdrags, and it's all awesome as possible. Tito debuts the Last Supper ( now Darby's super fancy pinning combo) to win
**1/4

Match#6 Ivan Koloff vs Tony Montane

Very bad, and i can't wait for uncle Ivan to fuck off to JCP forever. Flying knee off the top does it

1/2*
 
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BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
May 21, 1983
Allentown, PA


During the opening, Vince announces that Backlund will be attempting to break a record of walking up and down the ring steps. So, during the matches Bob will be doing just that because he's fucking nuts. It also speaks to how lame he's become, and how we need a massive reset to wake the world up, BROTHER.

Match#1 Tito Santana vs Pete Doherty
Tito is back in full force as he now opens the shows with the rad squashes, and is already beloved by the people. He uses all his great offence, and whilst the jobber isn't nearly as good as Estrada, he does a fine enough job of being a warm body. Last Supper does it
*3/4

Match#2 The Wild Samoans w/Lou Albano vs Eddie Gilbert & Pete Sanchez

As much as i missed the monsters, it speaks to how terrible the tag division is at this point, that there are pretty much no one else left to challenge them. In saying that, Gilbert rules again against them, and they're still the best, so it's cool to see, even if i can't wait for Vince to start stealing as much talent as possible to finally do something wth the tag titles. One of them murders Sanchez with the Samoan Drop to win.
*3/4

In a pretape, Vince is with Sarge and Wizard. Slaughter says he's going to decimate Backlund and take the title, but he's not here for that. No, he's here because he's sick of the fans calling him Gomer, and now he's more mean and viscous than ever before. He says he's going to win without the Clutch just to prove he can beat Bob anyway he chooses.

Before his match, Sarge walks over to Backlund on the steps and goes to attack him, but Skaaland tries to stop him, SO SARGE THROWS HIM TO THE CONCRETE LIKE A BAG OF SHIT. FUCK YEAH SARGE. BOB GETS IN THE RING TO FIGHT, BUT SARGE WHIPS HIM WITH A BELT WHEN HE POPS HIS HEAD BETWEEN THE ROPES AND HE BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. SARGE TOSSES THE REF AND BATTERS BOB UNTIL A BUNCH OF WRESTLERS RUN IN AND SARGE BACKS OFF.

We go from to that to Bob standing by with Vince. He says there is only man who can get away with that is his father, and he's the only man who can do that to him. Bob says he might only be a private in Slaughter's army, but he's going to take the war to him in MSG. Incredible fucking angle, and the exact thing this company has needed for a while.

Match#5 Jimmy Snuka vs Jose Estrada
Bad squash from Jimmy as he's tasked with a few minutes and he's not that guy. Splash ends a bad one.
1/2*

Match#5 Big John Studd w/Freddie Blassie vs Tony Rivera

Another killer one for Studd. He hurls Tony all over the joint and it rocks a ton. Backbreaker does it

*3/4
 
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BigVanDonnie

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WWF Madison Square Garden-May 23rd, 1983

In the back, Bob cuts a wild promo about being beaten like a slave and how his daughter was crying as a result, and now he's going to fucking maim and kill Slaughter for upsetting his daughter.

Bob Backlund (c) vs Sgt. Slaughter (WWF World Championship)
Bob has hideous welts on his back, and it's such a rad visual image to see how badly he got beaten. And if you're like me, you. now want Bobby to murder him. BOB JUMPS HIM AND BEATS THE LIVING HELL OUT OF HIM ALL OVER THE RING, AND SARGE BUMPS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND RAMS HIS STOMACH RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF TURNBUCKLE. Bobby keeps it up and goes for the head with nasty elbows and punches, and even smashes his face off the mat and stomps on the back of his fucking head. Bobby starts throwing wild forearms, but he rushes in one too many times and Sarge catches him in the jaw with a Lariat to finally stop him. Sarge goes on the attack in revenge. He's mean as hell and targets the eyes and nose. He drags his face over the ropes and Monsoon mentions it could be a DQ, which is a cool little thing to sell this still has rules and not to break them. Sarge's control gets more and more violent, but he never tries to end it and Bobby is able to slip stuff in and survive until he get something going. Bob finally gets a suplex and a piledriver in, and hurts Sarge's neck as a result. Both guys get super desperate to end it, and the exhaustion selling is great. Sarge misses a charge and smashes his shoulder into the post and Bob smells blood and goes wild on it. Bob locks in the Chickenwing and starts to choke him out, but Wizard slips in a riding crop and Sarge hits Backlund for the DQ
***14

Post match, Sarge throws the ref and goes for the attack, but Bob gets the crop and whips the fuck out of Sarge and clears the ring.
 
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BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muarco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
May 28th, 1983
Allentown, PA

Match#1 Ivan Koloff vs SD Jones

Fuck off

Match#2 Tito Santana vs Mack Rivera
Tito goes for the arm this week to mix it up, and it's super fun basics done by the most solid pro wrestler in the world. It works, is what i'm saying. Tito gives the kid a little and then shuts him down with some sick punches and forearms before locking in the Last Supper to win
*3/4

Match#3 George Steele vs Pete Sanchez

Steele is never having a good squash, and i'm 99% he's not having a good real match until Savage gets him, so fuck it. Bad hammerlock ends it
1/2*

Match#4 Swede Hansen vs Bob Bradley

Oh no, it's one of those episodes where all the really bad wrestlers got TV time, and i suffer as a result. Swede wins with the backbreaker
1/2*

In a pre-tape, Albano hypes up his boys and it's not his normal drunk crazy promo, so it's just an old man waffling on for a while.

Match#5 Rocky Johnson vs Mikey Fidea
Rocky works the leg for a change. and he seems sort of lost at what to do as he's mostly just twisting the knee, but it's a nice change of pace. He wins with a nice looking Boston Crab
3/4*

Rodgers Corner w/Tito Santana. He cuts the classic happy to be here babyface promo and throws in some Spanish as well, and it's a fine intro to the nice guy of the WWF.

Match#6 Mike Sharpe vs Charlie Brown
Good stuff from Mike. Clubbing and the like, and you can't go wrong for a couple of minutes. Loaded forearm does the deed
*

Match#7 The Wild Samoans w/Lou Albano vs Frankie Williams & Barry Hart

Short squash from the Bloodline this week, but good as always. Lots of mauling and nasty strikes before a gross Samoan Drop does it

*1/2
 
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BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muraco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
June 4th, 1983
Allentown, PA

Match#1 Rocky Johnson vs Mack Rivera

This somehow gets 6 minutes in a really horrible move. Rocky sucks and has no idea how to fill time, so the jobber gets a lot of offence in and Johnson looks like a dork for not being able to beat this kid. Rocky wins with a series of dropkicks
1/2*

Match#2 Sgt Slaughter w/Grand Wizard vs Paul Fisher

Sarge murders the kid in amazing fashion and wins with the Clutch is about 60 seconds.
*

Match#3 The Invaders vs Terry Manton & Tony Colon

Invaders are masked men from Puerto Rico, and one of them is the piece of shit who murdered Brusier. I don't skip wrestlers based off being cunts (if i did, this review would be one match long for every show for the next 30 years) but this is pretty shitty. Thankfully, they suck and the match is bad, so i don't need to write much more.
fuck you

Match#4 Don Muraco w/Lou Albano vs Marshall Bovee

Don gets shafted for time as well, as he only has a minute and change. It's still rad because he's Don, but there's a lot of bullshit tonight. He wins with a flying headbutt
*
 
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BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muraco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Philadelphia Spectrum
June 4th, 1983

Match#1 Mike Sharpe vs Salvatore Bellomo

Sal uses some cool takedowns to hurl Iron around, and the big man takes a few really good bumps for him. Mike runs back in and throws the ref down and smashes Sal with the loaded forearm for the DQ.
1/2*

Post match, GMC announces the result, SO IRON MIKE THROWS HIM OUT OF THE RING ONTO THE CONCRETE. FUCK YEAH IRONMAN.

Match#2 Afa vs Jimmy Snuka
The bloodline explodes!!!! Afa jumps him and goes on the attack, and his offence is just mean as hell and so cool to watch. To his credit, Snuka sells it really well and looks near death during the entire beating. He tries to fight back, but Afa cuts him off and beats his ass worse each time. Jimmy is thrown out of the ring and Afa gets distracted by the ref telling him to stay put, and it lets Jimmy sneak back in and hits a sick crossbody off the top to win
**

Match#3 Bob Backlund (c) vs Ivan Koloff (WWF World Championship)
Oh no. Bobby goes from Sarge to this old hack, and i just don't get it. Well, i get it because it's 1983 and "American beats Russian's ass" is always going to sell well, but i wish the Russian was actually good, or better yet, Nikita. Bobby isn't killing himself at all tonight and mostly just does headlocks and stooges, and Uncle Ivan isn't bringing anything either. So, it's a massive waste of time of already being something no one wants to see. It goes on forever and forever, and it dies a death. Bob wins with the Crossface
1/2*

An absolute waste of time, and further proof that Hogan coming in and blowing this place up is what this company needs

Match#4 Andre The Giant vs Big John Studd
Studd does a lot of stalling and the crowd gets more and more pissed at him, and give this feud lasts the next 3 years, i'm ok with them not fighting much in the early stages. They finally lock up and Studd hits two gross knees to Andre's stomach and drops the big man. He has a fun control seg with lots of clubbing and standing on Andre's face, and it's really mean and shitty work, and i love it. Studd grabs a face headlock for a while and it's boring as hell, but it's also perfect as the last thing he wants is Andre back on his feet again. Studd drags him back up to try and slam him, but lolno. Andre fights back and nukes him with some nasty shots and takes him down with a hip-toss and lands on top of him and pins him for 3
**

Post match, Studd tries to attack but Andre whips his ass and holds the ring.

Match#5 Rocky Johnson vs Sika
Only 2 minutes as it's close to the end of the show, and everyone is tired. Rocky wins with a flash sunsetflip.

Black Adam
 
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BigVanDonnie

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WWF World Champion; Bob Backlund- Since 20/2/78
WWF Intercontinental Champion; Don Muraco-22/1/83
WWF Tag Team Champions; The Wild Samoans-19/3/83

WWF Championship Wrestling
June 11th, 1983
Allentown, PA

Match#1 Jimmy Snuka vs Israel Metea

Snuke gets 3 minutes and does a lazy chinlock for a while, and i'm getting real sick of this asshole. It should also be noted that he's possibly murdered someone a month before this, so yeah FUCK HIM. Splash does it.
1/2*

They replay Andre answering Studd's challenge from a few weeks ago to kill some time.

Match#2 Don Kernodle vs Marshal Bovee
Woah, i never knew Don was in the WWF as he's a big JCP guy, but really cool to see him. He does a lot of cool takedowns and dominates on the mat, and it's a nice change of pace for a squash. He has a really nasty knee lift to the face as well, so i'm happy he's here. He wins with a running powerslam.
**

Match#3 The Wild Samoans & Samula vs Charlie Brown, Steve Thunder & Steve King
Samu makes his debut, and he's going to be a mainstay over the years, so hell yeah. He's still a baby at this point, and not all that great, but you can also see he maybe has something that will come together one day. The Samoans carry the load and we get another fun beating for a while. Bg headrop from Samu gets it done.
*3/4

Match#5 Mike Sharpe vs Mike Carson

Iron mauls him right away and beats him all over the place, and it's so much fun. Just a super cool squash as they're meant to be. Forearm ends the fun
**
 
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Chris

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Kernodle in 83? Wild I don't recall at all
 
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