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Damien Sandow, suspended?

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World Wrestling Entertainment has reportedly suspended Damien Sandow for 60 days after a Wellness Policy test revealed he has been using a performance-enhancing thesaurus.

A press release issued by WWE said that “Mr. Sandow’s expansive vocabulary has been a cause of concern for some time,â€￾ and that the contraband thesaurus was discovered in his luggage at an airport.

Sandow responded to the suspension on Twitter (through his personal scribe Ignatius), calling the suspension: “a baseless and untenable affront that casts aspersions on my venerable personage.â€￾

Sandow continued that he would “pursue juridical recompense forthwith, thereby rectifying this defamatory embroilment.â€￾

Lawyers from World Wrestling Entertainment are currently working to translate a formal appeal lodged by Sandow against his suspension.

Contacted by Kayfabe News, Sandow denied he has ever used a performance-enhancing thesaurus, stating only that his “vernacular is unbolstered by ersatz chicanery.â€￾

Source: Sandow suspended for use of performance-enhancing thesaurus - Kayfabe News | RM Sports

I did find this funny and I couldn't think of anywhere else to share this, don't hate me D:!
 

We Are Legion

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I read "thesaurus"... then stopped... then re-read the sentence... :lmao
 

Heisenberg

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Errrr this is just a joke report by Kayfabe News and they do news pieces like this all the time for the lulz. Dunno if people are taking this serious or not...
 

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Contacted by Kayfabe News, Sandow denied he has ever used a performance-enhancing thesaurus, stating only that his “vernacular is unbolstered by ersatz chicanery.”

Seems legit. :sandow2:
 

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I haven't heard of them either, but I'm pretty sure no one has ever been suspended for having a thesaurus. :hhh2: