WWF Raw, PPV's 1997 Reviews

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Hunter Hearst Helmsley
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog

WWF Thursday RAW Thursday
February 13th, 1997
Lowell, Massachusetts

Tonight: Tonight Shawn Michaels will forfeit the WWF Championship, making this Sunday’s final four match for the Vacant WWF Championship.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Rocky Maivia vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Hunter doesn’t have Mr. Hughs with him so I guess that pairing is dead. Good feeling out process for the first 1/3 of the match, Hunter plays the vet and is one step ahead and basically carries him on the mat as they exchange holds. I wonder if this is the longest feud in WWF history. Just based off generational kayfabe wise, they’ve pretty much wrestled at every stage of their careers or had promos together. Rocky has had enough of the wrestling stuff so he tries to brawl on the floor but backfires when Hunter suckers him in allowing Rocky to clothesline the ringpost that allows Hunter to work the arm for several minutes. After the break, it's a totally different match where Rocky's arm is fine and H is working on the neck, god damn I don’t understand how wrestlers fuck up so bad. Honky Tonk Man also comes out to do commentary, the match really slows down is pretty uneventful for the most part, Rocks comeback doesn’t have that electricity because he’s not “The Rock” over yet, and he’s still learning. Rock kicks out of a piledriver Hunter then goes for the pedigree but Rock’s deadweight so Hunter gets cocky, which allows Rocky to small package him for the win. *3/4 - **

After the match; Doc Hendrix interviews Rocky, Rock is in shock and says he will be the best he can give always. He thanks his family and says he will make them and all his fans proud.

Sunny comes down to the ring and is looking really fuckin’ good, god damn. She’s just here to do the ring introductions for the next match lol.

The Headbangers vs. Bob Holly & Aldo Montoya
NO! Fuck off, over my dead body.

Vince and Gorilla are in the ring and introduce Shawn Michaels. Shawn says this is the most serious injury he’s ever had before, he’s never had a doctor look at him and say “you might never wrestle again” The crowd, I’ll say 40% try a “We want Sid” chant Shawn says time has taken a toll on his body, Vince puts him over saying no one has had more dates or been in the ring more when being WWF champ more than him. Shawn says what he’s always wanted was the fans to have the best time here, it’s not about him. What he care most is the performance. His performance he wanted to sends the fans home happy, people talk about his new attitude and says it goes deeper than the knee, he can’t go half-assed. He needs to have fun, he wanted to have fun. Shawn says we’re in a time where toughness is the big thing, but he’s not tough he’s crying and hands the belt over. Shawn says he’s gonna go home, to find some things. HE’S GOING HOME TO FIND HIS SMILE! Because somewhere down the road he lost it. He ends it saying last year was the best time of his life, and if it ends all today he’s fine because he got to spend one whole year being “THE GUY” He and Vince hug and Shawn leaves and does the walk around the ring shaking fans hands, really selling the knee too, he never limped this bad walking to the ring.

Savio Vega (w/The Nation Of Domination) vs. The Undertaker
Savio isn’t good anymore or now that he’s a heel he’s just half-assing everything now. Taker is awesome, though, he doesn’t really do new stuff but he’s doing his Taker big man, powerhouse offense. Savio’s heat is pretty meh, it’s just him throwing heel 101 tactics at him. Choking and punches, and even shittier sidekicks. Taker makes a quick comeback and hits a Chokeslam for the win. After the match; The Nation attack Taker until Ahmed runs down for the save. *3/4

Dox Hendrix interviews Gorilla Monsoon, Gorilla says the title is on the line this Sunday because it’s fair to everyone involved, and the winner will face Sid the next night on RAW.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Sycho Sid
AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME! Brawl to start both men are swinging for the fences and Austin is super over now but so is Sid, they brawl onto the floor with Austin ramming Sid’s head into the ring post. Back in, Austin applies this awful abdominal stretch but that’s because Sid is so tall and lanky that he can’t even get Sid’s arm around his head Austin tries a front face lock but Sid fights it off and makes a comeback, but Austin with the rare speed advantage avoids everything until he runs into a big boot. Bret then comes out and attacks Austin for the DQ! UGH! Sid and Bret fight because everyone hates everyone. Officials and refs pull them apart.

Vader is in his locker room, Vader says how many wrestlers in the WWF can say in the last 6 weeks has beaten the Undertaker and whipped Austin ass for two weeks and later tonight Bret Hart. WHO’S THE MAN! WHAT TIME IS IT!

WWF Tag Team Championships: Faarooq & Crush (w/The Nation Of Domination) vs. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog
I guess Mason is with the Nation tonight because color is more important than GOLD! What an idiot. Owen gets thrown around by Crush early on before quickly tagging Bulldog in as we go to a commercial when we return it’s the Nation iso on Bulldog and what a surprise it’s terrible, really slow and boring. We cut to backstage with Bret watching, he says is sad that Shawn is hanging up his boots and it’s a loss for everybody. He says Shawn is a hard worker and doesn’t believe this is it for him. He’ll be back. He says he’s got a score to settle with him, but hope he gets his knee fixed. Vince asks him about the match against Vader tonight. Bret says Vader is one-up on him but he feels great, it’s not Vader time it’s my time. Back to the ring and the shitty heat segment is still happening. What feels like an eternity Owen finally gets the hot tag and cleans house, but just like last week he gets thrown to the outside and “Hurts his knee” Owens gets counted out again. After the match; Owen tries to get back in but the “bad knee” is stopping him and the Nation beat down Bulldog. Once Bulldog recovers he gets Bulldog to help him to the back, but first, he has to get his Slammy

Vader (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Bret Hart
Before the match, Taker comes out and says he doesn’t get enough respect and in 4 days they will have to look into the eyes of the reaper. SO EVERYONE WILL REST……..IN……..PEACE! So the bell rings and immediately Vader throws him to the floor and Austin attacks Bret oh and we go to a commercial when we return, Vader is murdering Bret with punches in the corner, but Bret catches him coming off the middle rope with a powerslam and begins to take over. Bret locks in the Sharpshooter but Vader is too close to the ropes, Austin re-appears but this time in the balcony allowing Vader to straight punch Bret in the face Vader heads up top but misses the moonsault and Bret covers for the win. Would have liked more than 4-5 minutes and more of a story. **

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Vacant
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog

WWF In Your House: Final Four
February 16th, 1997
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Commentary: Jim Ross & Jerry “the King” Lawler

Leif Cassidy vs. Marc Mero (w/Sable)
Passable mat work to start, but Mero tries to heel it up and it backfires which leads to Leaf working the knee. It’s much better than expected considering he sucks, Mero sells it during the beating and makes it look much more brutal than it really is. I have no idea who is the babyface in this as both men are pretty much acting like heels and Sable is too, like Mero is shoving the ref and shit talking, Sable cheats for Mero but Leaf is controlled like the heel. Fuckin’ 97, OH SHIT JUST GETS WORSE! MERO NO-SELLS THE FUCKIN KNEE THE ENTIRE COMEBACK. LIKE THIS IS THE START OF THE MATCH AGAIN. HE THEN HITS A FUCKIN’ SHOOTING STAR PRESS AND WINS, OH THEN HE SELLS THE KNEE. FUCK YOU MARK, YOU GIANT PIECE OF SHIT NUGGET WANKSTAIN.

A replay of Shawn losing his smile.

Backstage: Kevin Kelly interviews Sid, he says something about time and Sid cuts him off saying TIME! Time is the word is did not want to hear, see tIme ran out for you. And yes, I am sad for you but I did not get my chance to get my belt back on Thursday Night. But, See, time sometimes turns out to be funny. This time it’s original, It’s something different. So my time will come on RAW, SO THE ULTIMATE PRICE WILL BE PAID BY THE WINNER OF TONIGHT MAIN EVENT! You see it’s time to give back what is mine. FOR I AM THE MAN! I AM THE MASTER AND THE RULER OF THE WORLD!

Flash Funk, Bart Gunn & Goldust (w/Marlena) vs. The Nation Of Domination (Faarooq, Crush & Savio)
I don’t why this is here, but fuck it I’ll bite. This is pretty much a standard 6 minute TV style match. Funk keeps it somewhat watchable with high-flying and his bumping, while everyone else sucks and I’m sure just wants to get wasted at the bar or next town after this. The Nation iso Funk, Bart Gunn has a shitty hot tag and has the match won, but the ref is distracted allowing Crush to leg drop him and Faarooq finishes him off with the dominator for the win.

Backstage: Doc Hendrix interviews Steve Austin, he tells Austin he doesn’t hold a victory of any of the other guys in the match tonight. Austin says the whole world saw him win the rumble, this is a conspiracy against him. He, Vince and Monsoon has held him back for 7 years but not tonight.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Rocky Maivia
Just like the RAW match, but this time Rocky isn’t taking any of Hunter’s embarrassing slaps to the head and shit like that. Both men are putting on great mid-card bumping showcases, and stuff that is just weird to look at e.g Hunter doing a baseball slide to the floor. Hunter proceeds to work the head and neck just like on RAW. Rock almost gets Hunter with the small package, but Hunter just manages to escape. Both men begin going back and forth before Rocky makes his comeback, Hunter pokes him in the eyes and hits a neckbreaker but Goldust comes down to distract him. That allows Rock to hit a bridging German Suplex for the win Can we just get to ’98 already when they finally get some chemistry. After the match; some giant man or is it a woman grabs Marlena and begins choking the life out of her, Security breaks it up. JR plays it off like a fan did this. *1/4

Backstage: Kevin Kelly interviews Vader and Paul Bearer, Vader says Austin let his mouth get him in trouble, Bret is not the best and Taker will rest in peace. Bearer says being the business man he is, his Vader has already destroyed everyone and they are looking at the WWF CHAMPION!

WWF Tag Team Championships: Phillip Lafon & Doug Furnas vs. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog (w/Clarance Mason)
What a shocker, Mason back with the champs, typical nig-nevermind. So this by far has been the best thing on tonight card, but. It’s just here to further the Owen/Bulldog drama angle. AWESOME! Joke is JR says Owen’s leg injury doesn’t look believable and seems fake, so King goes well how comes when Shawn comes out just because he’s had an MRI how do we know he not faking Owen and Bulldog isolate LaFon, it’s okay nothing special. Right one cue Owen and Bulldog have some miscommunication and even put hands on one another, Owen slaps him so Bulldog clotheslines him. That leads to some AWESOME! Lafon and Furnas near falls. The match breaks down and Owen hits his awesome sounding enziguri before both guys tag out to their partners. Owen picks up his Slammy and nails Lafon with it leading to the Bulldog hitting a powerslam, but the ref calls for the bell and the DQ. After the match; Bulldog is irate and throws down the tag belt, but Owen says it doesn’t matter they got the belt. THEN IN A SHOCKING FASHION! BULLDOG BREAKS OWEN’S SLAMMY THIS IS WORSE THAN SHAWN LOSING HIS SMILE! **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: Doc Hendrix interviews The Undertaker, he says he has rediscovered his Edge. And this spells doom for everyone and there's nothing they can do about it, the WWF will be his. Get in his way and he will dismantle them. REST IN PIECCCEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Vader, Austin, and Taker have all made their way down to the ring, and we cut to Kevin Kelly interviewing Bret. He asks if anything can stop Bret, and Bret says no. everyone is tough in this match, he doesn’t want any excuses and let the best man win. ME!

WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match: Vader (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker vs. Bret Hart
AWESOME BRAWL, Taker/Vader, Bret/Austin for like 20 seconds until shit goes crazy then we go back to those pairing. Vader grabs a chair but Taker kicks it back into his face and he has a nasty cut around his eye, IDK if it was the kick or right after he sends him into the steel steps and I don’t know if his eye caught one of the steps. THAT SHIT LOOKS SO NASTY! Taker hits Vader with a chokeslam, but Austin hits Taker with a stunner for two. I can’t do this justice but VADER is fuckin’ amazing in this, he’s just fighting everyone, his willingness to throw his body around and take bumps and weapon shots along with missed bumps before fuckin’ someone else up is just WOW! Vader looks like a man on another level, and I think the camera man picked up on it because he didn’t even show what was happening in the ring it was just Vader/Taker, Vader/Austin, Vader/Bret just whoever Vader was fighting that’s where the magic was. The brawl continues as everyone is just fighting everyone, and it’s just awesome. It’s totally makes up for the meh build of them just fighting and jumping one another on the weekly build. Vader heads up for the moonsault by request of Bearer but misses, he smartly rolls to the floor. After what has to be 15 minutes of insanity and amazingness, Bret gets some revenge and throws Austin over the top for the elimination, this time unlike the Rumble the refs see it and make sure he goes to the back. Taker gets knocked to the floor and Bearer hits him with the urn taking him out for a bit, WHEN IN THE RING! BRET HITS VADER WITH A FUCKIN’ SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP! Taker’s back up and knocks Bret off when he tries to apply the Sharpshooter to Vader. Austin runs back out and begins attacking Bret; in the mean time Vader goes for the Vader bomb but Taker low blows him and pushes him over the top eliminating him.

It’s down to Bret/Taker, Taker runs Austin off and nails Bret with the chokeslam. He picks him up for the tombstone, but Austin pulls Bret down like he trying to pull him to the floor but instead just hangs him up onto the top rope. Bret and Taker then team up to take out Austin, and when they do Bret clotheslines Taker to the floor giving him the win. AMAZING MATCH! Really forgotten about when you talk about 1997 or maybe just WWF in general, Bret getting to right the wrongs of being screwed. But the MVP of the match goes to Vader when you talk about performances in the match, they talk about Shawn in the ladder match, Bret/Shawn Iron-man match all that. But Vader in this is just phenomenal. Hats off to everyone involved, I wish we got a match like this in today's WWE more with it just being 30+ minutes of crazy brawling, no rehashed spots that we get e.g no one went through a fuckin announce table just for a cheap pop. ****1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Bret Hart
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog

WWF Monday Night RAW: Episode 197
February 17th, 1997
Nashville, Tennessee

The show opens with Sid coming down to the ring so it looks like WWF title match is happening now. Bret comes down, as JR announce The Undertaker will face the winner at WrestleMania 13. Sid and Bret go nose to nose, but Austin runs down and attacks Bret, refs, and officials have to pull them apart so Sid goes at Austin. But, Austin chopblocks Sid’s ankle and knee and Sid sells it like he’s broken his leg The ring eventually gets cleared, leaving 2 refs, Pat and Jerry along with Sid and Bret. Sid leaves as we cut to Shawn losing his smile footage again; I guess we won’t be having the match now.

Still images of the Final Four match airs.

Backstage: Kevin Kelly tries to interview Sid, but Sid cuts him off and says. I will make this simple. Not even if m leg was broken, not slit, snow, rain or hell water or Stone Cold Steve Austin. Will stop me from getting to my destiny as to becoming the world wrestling federation champion. And establishes that I AM THE MAN! THAT I AM A MASTER, AND I’M THE RULER OF THE WORLD!

Marc Mero (w/Sable) vs. Savio Vega (w/The Nation of Domination)
PG-13 Rap Savio down to the ring, and that’s the highest point of the match. Because you guessed it this fuckin’ sucked so much. Mero is doing this whole ’97 attitude thing so he’s trying to heel it up, but guess what Savio is a heel too, and neither guy wants to play face, the crowd gives no fucks so no one plays the face by crowd response default. The Nation chased Sable into the ring for a DQ. After the match; The Nation circle Mero until Ahmed in this AMAZING Salmon I can’t even call it a sweatsuit, it looks like something out of the Yezus collection. No joke, Ahmed is 20 years Fashion forward and so far ahead of his time runs out with his 2x4 for the save.

Backstage: Bret Hart is in a locker room, he says everytime he turns his back Stone Cold is sticking his nose in his business, but I guess he better get used to it. All he can do is focus about one battle. He says he can only look out for number one, bring one anyone they want.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Leif Cassidy vs. Rocky Maivia
How is it you’re already a nobody, then you lose on a PPV and then get a title match the next night? So before the match, Sunny and her nipples come out to be the timekeeper because Hoes need TV. This goes about 8 minutes or so and isn’t good at all, lots of shitty punches by both men before Rocky goes to work on the arm. Split box, Hunter doing his awful rich guy accident tries to cut a promo, it’s tragic. So this is really boring, as JR says no rookie in WWF history has ever won a major championship Al Snow did boring arm work all match, and Rocky made his shitty comeback and no-sold all of it, before hitting the Shoulderbreaker to win.

After the match; the camera cuts to JR and King at the announce table, a fan behind Lawler has an “ECW RULES” sign, Lawler grabs it and says you think for one minute anyone knows this idiot ECW? He guarantees 99% of the world don’t know what an ECW is. He calls ECW a place where all the misfits and has been that can’t make it in the WWF go. HE’S SICK OF IT! THIS STUFF IS A BUNCH OF CRAP! Lawler then calls out ECW and gives them a personal invitation for next weeks Raw.

Goldust and Marlena come out for an interview; Kevin Kelly is doing the interview, Goldust says this isn’t the hills of Hollywood this is a reality, and now it’s personal after that indent proposal and was uncalled for. All the money in the world can’t buy her, Kelly asks Melena what's her thoughts on this. She says Goldust is more man than Hunter could ever be. Hunter comes out; and throws water in Goldust's face to blind him, and hits the Pedigree. Marlena slaps him, so that mystery woman hops the railing again and shakes Marlena into unconsciousness with a Bear Hug. Security drags her off, and Hunter leaves. Goldust slowly gets up and carries her to the back.

The Headbangers vs. The Hardy Boyz
The Hardyz take some great bumps and sell really well, but the Headbangers are just so terrible. During the match Faarooq cuts a promo saying Ahmed is a liar, he lives in a 3 bedroom house, drives 2 cars and overseeing Houston, he doesn’t know what the streets are like but he does. He challenges him to make it a Chicago Street Fight at WrestleMania, and show everyone what the streets is really like. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! Headbangers win this.

Backstage: Sid is hyping himself up, WWF title up next.

Sid comes out for the match; we cut to Bret walking backstage when again Steve Austin attacks him. Sid runs to get a piece of him or just to ensure Bret can make it to the ring. Shit, Vince even gets involved to break it up with officials and Refs.

Kevin Kelly interviews Gorilla Monsoon, he says they are not like other companies THEY WILL DELIVER! He guaranteed Bret/Sid tonight.

Flash Funky (w/Funkets) vs. Owen Hart (w/Clarence Mason)
Owen comes out with both belts, but more importantly, he has a new slammy with him. OH THANK GOD! This is really good, great reversals and mat wrestling to start. Funk seems to be one step ahead and has the quickness advantage that he uses. Paul Heyman calls in to accept Lawler's challenge; I’m getting really tired of these matches/interview segments. Clarence and Owen have words which allow Funk to come off the top with a huge dive, that brings out Bulldog and he gets into it with Clarence, he makes him leave as we go to a commercial. JR also interviews Austin, Austin says he’s now over the edge, he won the rumble fair and should never have been in that 4-way. Shawn quits which means he should have been awarded the title. Now he’s gonna open a can of whoops. The match ends minutes later when Bulldog ends up hitting Funk with the Slammy, and Owen hits a Spinning Heel Kick to win, Bulldog also held Funk's leg so he couldn’t kick out. **3/4

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bart Gunn
So before the match, JR interviews Hunter who says he has no idea who this woman is, and he has nothing to do with it. This happens, Hunter gives Brat way too much offense and this seems to be pointless and a waste of time until Goldust runs out and chases Hunter through the crowd to the back. Bart wins via countout.

Earlier today, Dr. James Andrews fills us in about Shawn’s knee. He says Shawn will not have surgery, in fact, he will have rehab and check up on him in 4-6 weeks. Then determine if he can resume wrestling.

WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart
Good slugfest brawl to start, Shockingly Bret gets suckered into Sid's game which is to trade punches and he comes up on the losing end. Bret awesomely stops trying to punch him in the head and starts going to work on the body with these awesome headbutts to the mid-section. Sid just no sells it and goes to work on Bret’s back softening it up for the chokeslam or the powerbomb. Bret then no sells that and does the Bret logic work the knee, not because Bret always works the knee when against a taller wrestler but because Austin chop blocked it earlier. So that was good, we also get the figure-four around the ringpost Sid hits these AWESOME! Clubbing blows to break out of Bret working the knee in the corner, but his selling is so bad. He just hobbles around for 5 seconds and now everything is fun. FUCK SAKE! He hits a fuckin’ legdrop off the middle rope. Bret begins to get desperate so he rakes the eyes and even resorts to biting the face, Austin runs out but immediately runs into a Sid boot Bret gets the Sharpshooter on, but behind the ref's back, Austin climbs on the apron and hits Bret in the back of the head with the chair. He leaves, and Sid hits the Powerbomb for the win. After the match; Sid is celebrating with the title as the crowd is chanting “SID, SID, SID” The lights go out, and the Undertaker comes out, and they go face to face to end the show. The match was fine but all that no selling was super frustrating. **1/2

 

[Deezy]

Gotta look up this Ahmed Johnson suit.

 

[Crippler]

Gotta look up this Ahmed Johnson suit.

 

[Deezy]

Dapper AF

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Sycho Sid
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog

WWF Monday Night RAW: Episode 198
February 24th, 1997
The Manhattan Center: New York City

The Godwinns vs The New Blackjacks
The Blackjacks are Bradshaw and Windham JR; in theory, this makes sense hillbillies vs. Redneck Texans, and it started off well as a huge brawl but then they tried to wrestle and it sucked. Bradshaw’s mustache is pretty amazing tho. Both teams go back and forth for 5 or 6 minutes until Bradshaw hits a huge clothesline for the win. Phineas' foot was on the rope, but Windham pushed it off after 3. After the match; they throw the bucket of slop on one of the refs. On an unrelated note, I’ve seen the first “DIE ROCKY” Sign, and Ken Shamrock is in the crowd too.

The Eliminators and Paul Heyman come in from the crowd and hit TOTAL ELIMINATION! Paul E. gets on the mic and yells “YOUR CHALLENGE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED, ECW IS IN THE HOUSE!” Paul E. introduces Little Guido and his opponent Stevie Richards with the b.W.o. Stevie grabs the mic and says they only have 3 worlds for Lawler “We’re Taking Over”

Little Guido vs. Stevie Richards (w/b.W.o)
Heyman joins commentary, this happens but nevermind that Lawler calls the BWO a ripoff and Heyman asks who they're ripping off and all 3 go dead silent for a couple of seconds Raven comes out and stares down Stevie, which allows Guido to take over. Heyman says Vince is pretty cool at announcing, so if this WWF thing doesn’t last he has a job at ECW Stevie wins with the Steviekick.

Honky Tonk Man comes out to host the arm wrestling contest; Sunny comes out and starts heeling it up, she even steals Rick Rude’s promo Marlena comes out looking shook, Sunny says she knows she’s hurt after those attacks so she’s giving her the option of forfeiting. Melena comes back and says you know, we’re all glad to see that Sunny stopped working at 40nd, long enough to come in and be with us tonight A forfeit would be a smart idea, but she would rather take her chances. Sunny being the heel tonight stalls and keeps walking around until they finally lock up, Marlena looks to have this won until she throws powder in Marlena's eyes. Savio Vega comes out and corners Marlena, but Goldust saves and a match breaks out. I have no idea who this became a feud, or why this is a feud. Outside hoes hate everyone.

Goldust vs. Savio Vega (w/The Nation of Domination & Sunny)
Goldust isn’t trying and Savio is so bad now, he does wrestling heel 101 for 6 minutes. Miguel Perez is on commentary and talks about how the Latina’s are upset at Savio, he then proceeds to cut a minute long promo in Spanish. The Nations runs in for the DQ, Miguel Perez makes the save these mid-cards matches are so bad.

Jerry “The King” Lawler goes over and interviews, Ken Shamrock; Lawler claims he taught Ken everything he knows and Ken looks legit confused. Ken asks if he’s kidding and says he doesn’t know him Lawler asks him to tell him about all those holds he knows, Ken calls him a liar and Lawler leaves AWESOME!

Paul Heyman is back, he says. Has this show sucked without ECW or what huh?

Mikey Whipwreck vs. TAZ (w/Bill Alfonso)
Good little squash, as the Nation, cut a promo in split screen. NEVERMIND THAT! Sabu is here and he falls off the RAW sign, barely hits the ring crew, Taz then hits a head and arm suplex and finishes it off with the TazMission.

The 1997 Slammy Awards coming soon

The Headbangers vs. The Legion of Doom
That LOD pop was dope af, but then the match happens and Headbangers get way too much offense in and the LOD are super washed. Animal is at least trying, but Hawk is probably drunk or pilled up. Both RIP! The crowd takes the time to not give a fuck about the match and chant “Nitro Sucks” “Bishoff Sucks” This goes to a double countout because of brawling, what a waste of LOD. No way this should have never gone 9 minutes. Should have been LOD return beatdown for 3, Doomsday Device on both men and double pin.

Shawn Michaels “Tell Me A Lie” Tribute airs.

D-Von Dudley (w/Sign-Guy Dudley) vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicutty)
GOD DAMN! I might have to start up the ’99 ECW review just for Beulah footage, damn that woman is something else. I might put prime Beulah up there with Lana today, Torrie Wilson from 99-04, Maryse, Heel Liz from the WCW. Joy Giovanni from 2004 Smackdown. This goes 6 minutes and finally we get an “ECW style” match, Tommy uses weapons handed by the fans. Heyman and Lawler spend most to the match yelling back at one another, the match has a ton of cool stuff but it takes a backseat to all the other fuckery going on. Taker gets a split screen promo during the finishing run and Dreamer wins with a DDT. Bubba Dudley comes out and they hit Tommy with the 3D, but The Sandman comes from the crowd. He cleaned house, and on the floor, Heyman and Lawler have to be physically held apart. **1/2

Recap of Sid/Bret/Austin stuff, we get exclusive footage from WWF Superstars of Bret tearing up the backstage area looking for Austin.

WrestleMania 13 HYPE
Undertaker vs. Sid – WWF Title
Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin – No Holds Barred

Todd Pettingail interviews Ken Shamrock. Ken says it’s pretty exciting to be here, he introduces his wife and his dad. Todd asks him to predict Taker/Sid, Ken goes with Taker. Todd then calls the Bret/Austin match a submission match lol. Ken says it’s a toss up, and can’t pick against either.

Faarooq comes out and PG-13 cuts a dope rap. He then calls out Shamrock, Ken says he doesn’t need a gang and can do it by himself. Vince just needs to put something on the line.

Faarooq (w/The Nation of Domination) vs. The Undertaker
Pretty good when Taker controls which were most of the early going, D-Lo gets some revenge and attacks Taker on the floor leading to Faarooq smartly taking out Taker’s knee and started working it. This is the best he’s looked in the 2 months I’ve been watching, maybe because it’s the Taker presence that he knows he can’t just do nothing. He then ruins all the nice things by locking in a side headlock and just forgets about the knee, even with Taker still selling it. Faarooq tries to bring the steps in but it gets kicked back into his face, TAKER SITS UP OUT OF A PILEDRIVER! Which brings in the Nation for the DQ. LOD come in and make the save, as we end the show. **1/4

This might be one of the worse RAWs ever, and I finally understood why they had ECW invade and LOD return it’s not to get them over, it’s because all the good talent was in Germany, touring

 

[Deezy]

Raw or SmackDown could do that with NXT whenever they have a major tour booked.

Also putting blackjacks and godwinns before ECW matches really exposed them as being tiny.

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Sycho Sid
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog

WWF Monday Night RAW: Episode 199
March 3rd, 1997
Berlin, Germany

Honky Tonk Man comes out to do commentary. I don’t why Vince loves Honky so much, he useless and shit at everything. He’s not over, it must be a rib.

Before the match, Bret cuts a promo saying he hopes Austin is staying at home watching what he does tonight.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bret Hart
Really bad; Bret works the side-headlock to keeper the bigger Hunter down. Bret hurts his arm in a corner turnbuckle spot so Hunter works it, Bret must really hate Hunter because he doesn’t sell the arm one single bit, not even during the arm work. He makes a decent enough comeback but they’re just doing moves with no story at this point. Hunter does do his mid-card bumping so that’s one of the few highlights, Hunter takes his Flair corner bump with one of his feet getting caught so he’s hanging upside down. That allows Bret to stomp away at him in the corner; the ref tries to break it up so Bret shoves him for the DQ. After the match; That WOMAN! Gets in Bret’s face, officials and backstage suits escort her to the back. BUT HUNTER SHOVES THEM AWAY AND THEY LEAVE TOGETHER. The match was trash. *3/4 - **

Live WWF Studio: Steve Austin was supposed to be interviewed, but isn’t there……but we hear a toilet being flushed. So I guess Austin was taking a shit.

Clips air of Owen “accidently” eliminating Bulldog out of the Rumble.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Vader (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Rocky Maivia
AHHHHHHHHH! Man, I think someone told Vader to hold back on his punches, he’s clearly avoiding Rock’s head and is just air punching in the corner. He does have a couple of power offense in, but he’s either no feeling it, washed or told no to be Vader. He does hit this AWESOME middle rope splash but Rock kicks out at two, he then applies his weird leglock where he looks like it’s about to apply the STF but doesn’t headlock the head just pulls the leg Rock debuts the float over DDT, which knocks Vader's mask off. Mankind comes out and hits Rocky with the urn on the floor for the DQ. After the match; Vader continues to beatdown Rocky until the suits and officials break it up. **

Recap of the Lawler/ECW stuff from the past 2 weeks of RAW.

The Sultan vs. Flash Funk
This is fine, but this is just here so we can get a phone in from Paul E. and Lawler. Sultan wins with the Camel Clutch.

Backstage: Sid cuts a promo, he says Mankind needs to be ready for the game they’re about to play because the game we play is simple. Two men enter and one man survives. And this game we play I AM THE MASTER AND YOU HAVE TO FING OUT THE HARD WAY, because tonight, you will become another symbol of what my main victories to WrestleMania to you Undertaker to the dark side I go, and you will become another symbol like a wasteland of my victories because I AM THE MAN! I AM THE MASTER AND I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!

Ahmed Johnson comes down to the ring, he accepts Faarooq’s Mania challenge and says he won’t be coming alone. He says someone from the Nation “IS GOING DOWN”

A replay of The Road Warriors return, we then cut to Shotgun Saturday Night to Animal cutting a promo saying they hope to be at Mania in Chicago this year.

In a pretape, Mankind cut a promo in German.

WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Mankind (w/Paul Bearer) vs Sycho Sid
Sid jumps Mankind before the bell, and they brawl to the floor Sid hits this AWESOME running boots but it doesn’t knock Mankind down, it spins him round, I can’t explain it it just looks really cool. Sid works the arm, as we cut to Austin in the WWF studio. He says he’s sick of seeing Bret cry and quit. As we cut back to the match, with Mankind and Sid having this awesome back and forth exchange of rights. This isn’t really a wrestling match per say, it’s more of just a fight a really awesome looking physical fight, all the striking looks superb and great. Mankind applies the mandible claw, but Sid digs down deep and breaks free but Mankind hits the double-arm DDT for two. Mankind then moves to a sleeper to wear down Sid, but again Sid’s too powerful and the height advantage is too much for Mankind. Mankind accidently runs into Paul Bearer who is standing on the ring apron, he then turns and Sid Chokeslams him, but kicks out at two. Mankind then makes the mistake of lowering his head and Sid powerbombs him for the win. Awesome, really awesome stuff. ***

Live! WWF Studio: Steve Austin says the only remorse he has to Bret Hart is that he didn’ hit him any harder, HE SAYS Bret Hart runs around saying everyone has been screwing him. But I’ve been screwed for 7 years. How comes when Shawn Michaels hurts his knee or gets sick, it's a big deal, but at Final Four, he blew out his knee and was sick as a dog, but he still went 25 minutes with 3 of the best wrestlers in the world. How many other can do that? NONE! As far as he’s concerned he is the WWF champion, and as far as the submission match, it’s a bunch of bull. Bret Hart, he is supposed to be the big technician, the sharpshooter. BIG DEAL! He doesn’t know much submission moves, but he’s just gonna beat the hell out of him. And as far as Ken Shamrock goes Bret may be the better technician. Stone Cold ain’t got no quit in him, and you can bet I won’t quit. THERE AIN’T NOBODY IN WRESTLING WHO CAN MAKE ME QUIT AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE………..BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO.

WWF European Championship: Owen Hart vs. The British Bulldog
I remember for the longest time, I had this as the greatest RAW match of all time until the Cena/Michaels match from 2007. I can’t remember the last time I watched this, it might have been 2010, or even 2007. I don’t remember anything about it so I’m excited, in my head as I said I have it as top 5 MAYBE top 3 all time in RAW matches, so I’m looking forward to seeing if this holds up. Real good solid mat wrestling to start, Bulldog is the babyface by default I guess as this is in Europe and, with the build, it seems like he’s at his breaking point with all the miscommunications. Plus Owen is fuckin’ amazing at his role of a piece of shit little brother, self-absorbed, SLAMMY AWARD GIMMICK GOD! Both men have a counter for everything; so that have to bust out new things. Bulldog targets Owens' arm, but is no sold and then just forgotten about. Owen then backdrops Bulldog to the floor who seems to have hurt his knee on the landing, but Owen holds the ropes open for him similar to what Bulldog did to him. Bulldog continues to dominate but OWEN FAKES A KNEE INJURY TO SUCKER BULLDOG IN! And he then targets Bulldogs hurt knee, but then just stops and goes to work on the back then rest holds. Owens control period is awesome, but he doesn’t really work a body part but he does have some really cool cutoff moves or strikes whenever Bulldog starts making a comeback. Bulldog’s comeback is good, and Owens takes some awesome bumps. The finishing stretch is AWESOME! Owen holds onto the top rope to block the running powerslam, but as Bulldog keeps pulling harder and harder Owens lets go and uses Bulldogs own momentum for a rollup pin for two. Enziguri connects but instead of going for the cover, Owen locks in the sharpshooter but Bulldog gets to the ropes. Owens piledriver is countered into the RUNNING POWERSLAM for two. They then do the Mania X Bret/Owen spot, but this time Bulldog comes out with the final victory roll for the pin. This is really great, it has some minor flaws but I would still consider it an all time RAW classic. After the match’ Owen and Bulldog shake hands as Vince and JR try to hype of Owen turning on him right then and now. **** - ****1/4

This was basically an adjacen version of an IYH adjace PPV, thank god for the last two matches as we were on the verge of back to back terrible shows and me throwing in the towel for like a month.

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Sycho Sid
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog
WWF European Champion: The British Bulldog

WWF RAW is WAR: Episode 200
March 10th, 1997
Worcester, Massachusetts

​

NEW STAGE, NEW PYRO AND NEW SONG “BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE”

Sid comes down to the ring to be interviewed by JR, he says he’s not falling for Undertakers trap tonight, and it’s a little fishy that he has to team with Taker against Mankind and Vader. Taker then comes out and says if Sid is scared to say he’s scared, and also tells him to relax he doesn’t want him as a partner he will do it by himself. He tells Sid to he’s only got a few days left to hold that title because at WrestleMania it will be his. Paul Bearer comes out with Vader and Mankind, they all get into a brawl with Vader hitting Taker in the back but Taker thinks it was Sid and they have a staredown as we go to a commercial

Rocky Maivia vs. Tony Roy
Before the match; The Sultan, Bob Backlund, and THE iron Sheik cut a promo on Rock on the stage for like a minute, which is the same time limit of the match. LOLSQUASH! After the match; The Sultan tries to jump Rocky but Rock runs him off.

Tony Atlas is in the crowd watching, Rocky then brings him over and hugs him.

Heavy Metal, Pentagon and Pierroth vs. Latin Lover, Octagon and Hector Garza
Typical Mexican spot fest and a poor attempt at trying to recreate WCW’s cruiserweight division. During the match, we cut to security asking then forcing that mystery man/woman/thing to leave. Oh and BRIAN PILLMAN IS BACK! HE MAKES HE RETURN AT SATURDAY NIGHT SHOTGUN!

Ahmed Johnson vs. Roy Raymond
HOLY SHIT! Ahmed’s baby oil game is strong tonight JESUS! During the match Nation come out on the stage to watch on, this goes a minute or so. Ahmed wins with the pearl river plunge. After the match; Faarooq says Ahmed will never know what the streets are like, he calls Ahmed uncle tom He says he’s not going to Mania alone he’s got the whole Nation with him. Ahmed then calls him an overdressed charcoaled color punk, legit though he was gonna call him a smurf for a second. He says he’s not scared of he and his crew because he’s not coming along HE’S GOT THE L.O.D WITH HIM LOD come through the crowd and cut this insane incoherent promo.

Jim Ross tries to interview Bulldog on the stage but Owens keeps cutting him off, he says he’s not jealous he could have won the title if he wanted to. But they need to focus on tonight match against the Blackjacks.

Owen Hart & The British Bulldog vs. The NEW Blackjacks
I guess Owen and Bulldog are the faces tonight because the Blackjacks cut this awful, awful, awful promo with these terrible insults. I think Bradshaw tried to hint he wanted to fuck Owens mouth because he said he had nice lips. This happens it not really good, Blackjacks do their “brawl style” so they pretty much just uses punches and kicks. During the match, Vader and Mankind cut a promo in a split-screen. I guess it's Vader/Mankind vs. Owen/Bulldog at mania, sweet. The match breaks down and Bulldog gets DQ’ed for shoving the ref.

Next Week: Bret/Sid for the WWF title in a steel cage.

1997 Slammy Awards next Friday

Taz hopes the rails and grabs Lawler, but Sabu is in the ring and tries to do the double jump moonsault but Both guys duck and Sabu goes through a table lmao ECW Wrestles come from the back down the fuckin entrance way, to help him. Well, way to confirm this is a work; at least have them come from the crowd. YOU IDIOTS!

Leif Cassidy vs. Miguel Perez
TRASH! Heyman cuts this killer promo saying he will bring his friends and if Lawler has any, bring them with him. Because as soon as Lawler puts his hands on him his friends will have no problem getting involved.

Backstage: Vince asks Sid for his reaction knowing that he has Bret in a cage next week. Sid says “I DON’T REACT VINCE MCMAHON, I REACT WITH THE ACTION” And I’m gonna tell you something, it’s okay that all the top guns are coming for him because it’s simple. I AM THE MAN! AND I AM THE MASTER AND THE RULER OF THE WORLD!

JR is in the ring and brings out Ken Shamrock, he announces Ken will be the special ref for the Bret/Austin match at mania. Ken says it’s an honor to be a part of Mania his year, especially the Bret/Austin match, as far as he’s concerned he will not be intimidated but he will also be a fair referee. Austin appears on the Tron and says he doesn’t know what the hell Bret Hart is doing to get all these title shots, but it’s a complete BS. But this time he hopes he wins so he can get a title match at Mania. Austin says his time is coming and when he’s done making Bret say “I QUIT” Shamrock you’re next, Ken says if you’re man enough come out here now.………..Bret comes out instead, he talks about him being screwed and how he will win next week. As for Stone Cold 13 is your unlucky number, he then promises to make Austin sorry he ever crossed his path. Bret then name drops and cries about everyone screwing him since his return, he says he and Ken are cool but he’s been screwed by everyone and if he thinks for one second he can do it too, it will be the biggest mistake ever. Ken says he’s here just to raise the winner’s hand. Austin comes out flips both guys off and leaves

Honky Tonk Man comes out to do commentary.

Billy Gunn vs. Aldo Montoya
NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF

Backstage: Mankind cuts a promo because Vader took all the TV time in the promo earlier, Mankind says he doesn’t need the urn anymore and throws it down. He spent his whole adult life waiting for this moment. THE REAL STORY IS THAT MANKIND AND VADER ARE A TEAM! Not Sid and Taker. They cut the promo mid-way? WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!

Goldust (w/Marlena) vs. Tim McNeany
NA GO FUCK YOURSELF BRING BACK THE MANKIND PROMO! Hunter and the Big Bitch come out and watch on the stage. Goldust wins with the certain call. Hunter and Thing come down, Hunter attacks Goldust from behind but MARLENA jumps on the things back to a huge pop. Referees eventually separated the two women; Big bitch throws refs around until Hunter calms her down.

​

Mankind & Vader (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Sycho Sid & The Undertaker
Mankind and Vader jump Sid, and the ref even rings the bell. It’s basically a 2-1 for like 2 minutes until Taker runs down. He hits Vader with a chokeslam but VADER NO SELLS IT AND GETS RGHT BACK UP! But is met with a Taker boot knocking him to the outside. Mankind does his cactus clothesline knocking he and Taker to the floor, but Mankind did right where these awful huge steel/plastic or wood steps are so Taker land on his feet while Mankind takes the bump off the steps Vader/Sid is cool, but Vader just wears him down withholds no punches Taker/Mankind mini-brawls ae awesome, cool spot is Mankind running over to Taker sacrificing himself to stop Sid from tagging out. Taker would eventually get the hot tag and the match breaks down, Vader ducks a punch and Taker accidently hits Sid with it. Sid and Taker begin fighting now; Taker hits a chokeslam on SID THEN DOES HIS NO HANDS PLANCHA TO MANKIND AND VADER ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! Sid is back up and he brings Taker back in, he hits his powerbomb and leaves which allows Vader to cover for the win. Sold angle match, would like to see a proper match with no fuckery. **1/2

After the match; Taker fight off Vader and storms to the back after Sid.

 

[Deezy]

You can see the hard camera on Ahmed's chest, someone needs to bring back the water wings and thigh pads combo IMO.

Paul got murked.....Period. ECW appearances almost look like burials in hindsight.

And it looks like Sid might have lost the promos he was doing, next week he will not know shit and go down hill from there.

 

[Crippler]

No not Sid he has been one of the few bright spots so far

 

[Deezy]

And he shat himself against Taker at mania.

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Sycho Sid
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog
WWF European Champion: The British Bulldog

WWF RAW is WAR: Episode 201
March 17th, 1997
Syracuse, New York

The Legion of Doom vs. Savio Vega & Crush (w/The Nation of Domination)
Faarooq and Ahmed are both barred from ringside; this starts off awesome with just a huge brawl. LOD give no fucks and just seem to be clobbering and beating the shit out of Crush and Vega, sadly the match settles down into a traditional tag match and it’s all downhill from here. We get split-screen comments from Faarooq and Ahmed, we then cut again backstage Faarooq attacks Ahmed with a nightstick until he is pulled off. Animal has this shitty hot tag, and LOD are about to put this away until Faarooq runs in with the nightstick for the DQ. After the match; the Nation continues the assault until Ahmed is this suspect while grey attire runs down for the save. It’s basically the Harlem Heat. Attire, why the fuck is he just going around backstage wear that

Vince, JR and The King talk about the rumors that the cage match tonight MAY not be for the WWF title tonight, King then says Shawn Michaels MAY be on his way here tonight.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna) vs. Flash Funk
I guess it's official now, Chyna is hired. This is fine, could have been a lot better but it was lacking that something, also is wasn’t smooth, the counters and reversals were like a split second away from ending really bad for someone. The match is pretty much back and forth, given it was like 4-5 minutes they never had Hunter do any heat control moments. Funk signals for the 450, but Chyna distracts him long enough for Hunter to hit the pedigree for the win. After the match; Hunter and Chyna beat Funk down before refs come down to stop it. ** - **1/4

Shawn Michaels arrives at the building.

Highlights air from a press conference in New Jersey, where the Governor announced wrestling was back in NJ. Vince announces SummerSlam this year will in Jersey.

Mini-Vader & Mini-Mankind vs. Mini-Goldust & Mascarita Sagrada Jr.
Mascarita Sagrada Jr. this goes a few minutes, tons of spots, face paced Mascarita rolls up Mankind for the win. After the match; Vader runs away with Mascarita chasing him up the ramp, and jumps off to get away. BUT MASCARITA DIVES ONTO HIM WITH A CROSSBODY!!!

Backstage: Moonson confirms that the WWF title will be on the line tonight.

Kevin Kelly brings out Bret Hart for an interview; Bret says he appreciates that Moonson gave him this match, Bret talks about how he won the Rumble, the final 4 and he’s a 4-time champion and still doesn’t get the respect around here. Bret says there’s a new motto around here “your scratch my back and I’ll stab yours” Taker may not like it but when I win I will give him a shot; but first at Mania. Stone Cold Steve Austin is in got the worst thrashing of his life. He won’t be able to shout the words “I GIVE” loud enough. Bret says he respects Ken but hopes he calls it right down the middle.

Rocky Maivia comes out to do commentary.

The Sultan (w/The Iron Sheik) vs. Mike Bell
SQUASH!

Vince McMahon brings Shawn Michaels out for an interview; Shawn says he found his smile in Texas, but now has decided to bring it with him everywhere he goes. Shawn thanks the fans, for not only sending him cards and letters but being with him during the rough times. Vince asks him about his knee, Shawn says the knee is coming along, he going to see Dr. Andrews next week and maybe in a couple of months he will be back in the ring. But first he’s gonna invite himself to WrestleMania, he’s coming to sit right next to him at the commentary table at Mania for the WWF title match. He’s also gonna be at the Slammy this Friday.

Backstage: The Undertake throws down the blue steel cage, I guess trying to destroy it to stop the match

Vader (w/Paul Bearer & Mankind) vs. The Britsh Bulldog (w/Owen Hart)
Pretty good power/power match, tons of physicality. Bulldog hits a fucking’ delayed vertical suplex on Vader; AWESOME! Vader comes back with some great splashes, and just uses his body weight as a weapon, Bulldog’s comeback is awesome and Vader really puts over his power just allowing Bulldog to hit these series of slams, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Vader off his feet this much. Sadly, Mankind grabs his leg causing a DQ. After the match; Vader and Mankind double teamed him until Bulldog got the urn from Bearer, and hit Mankind and Vader with it. **1/2 - **3/4

Ken Shamrock comes out for commentary.

Billy Gunn vs. Aaron Ferguson
TRASH!

After the match; Billy Gunn gets in Shamrocks face an taunts him into a fight, So Ken locks him in an arm bar. Gunn says he won’t be able to do it again, so KEN PUTS HIM IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!! Austin says he's not impressed, he says Gunn just got done with a grueling match and Ken attacks him from behind He calls Ken overrated and a big piece of trash, he better call the match down the middle or I’ll punch his light out. Austin says he’s happy Bret has this title match and he’s here to make sure Bret walks into Mania as champion.

The outdated and shitty looking blue cage is being put together.

Backstage: Sid yells he’s ready for tonight, he tells Austin to keep his head out of his business, and he would be a complete idiot to not know what he’s up to. Tonight, he gonna powerbomb Bret and walk out WWF champion. One reason why BECAUSE I AM THE MAN, I AM THE MASTER AND I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD!

Steel Cage Match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Bret Hart vs. Sycho Sid
Bret goes on the offense early attacking the midsection before trying to climb out, but that’s his first mistake at Sid still too strong and pulls him back down, he rams him back first into the cage that looks so loosely put together that Bret has to hold the cage during the bump so it doesn’t break. Both men battle to escape, but Austin runs down to stop Sid from leaving through the door. Sid hits the powerbomb but Austin stops him from climbing over the top and both men brawl up top; Bret begins to climb and they double team Sid But here comes the Undertaker, Taker tries to knock Bret back into the cage but when that doesn’t work he punches Austin back down to the floor. Allowing Bret to hit Sid with a superplex. On the floor Austin hits Taker with a chair to the back; Sid climbs over the top at the same time Bret leaves through the door. But Taker slams the door on Bret knocking him back in the cage, allowing Sid to fall to the floor for the win. **1/2 - **3/4

Coming back from a commercial, the cage is being taken down and Vince enters to ring with Bret for an interview. He told to Bret about how frustrated he must be, what just happen…………..BUT! BRET SHOVES HIM DOWN! FUCK YEAH! He says “FRUSTRATED ISN’T THE GODDAMN WORD FOR IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! THEY SCREWED ME! EVERYBODY SCREWS ME AND NOBODY DOES A GODDAMN THING ABOUT IT” nobody in the building or the back cares and there's so much goddamned injustice around here and he's had it up to here. Everyone knows he should be the champion, everyone keeps turning a blind eye to it. Everyone in that goddamn dressing room knows I’m the best. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, TOUGH SHIT! Steve Austin is on the back and says all he does is cry, and he tried to help him out, but he still blew it because he's a loser. They keep yelling, and Sid comes out and yells “I DON’T KNOW SHIT” lmao Taker walks down the ramp now, AND BRET HITS HIM WITH THE TOPE SUICIDA! They start fighting, and Austin runs out now to fight Bret. Sid calls Taker into the ring and they start fighting! Referees and people run down to break up the two fights to end the show, Bret even hits Pat Patterson and Vince almost loses it

Shawn Michaels walks down the ramp to look on, like a smurf who needs air time.

AMAZING WAY TO END THIS GO-HOME SHOW! Yeah, this is the go home, they didn’t even give us a rundown of the card, or barely promoted it. How times have changed.

 

[Crippler]

WWF Champion: Sycho Sid
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rocky Maivia
WWF Tag Team Champions: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog
WWF European Champion: The British Bulldog

WWF WrestleMania 13
March 23rd, 1997
Rosemont, Illinois

4-Way Elimination Match: The Godwinns (w/Hillbilly Jim) vs. The Headbangers vs. Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon vs. The NEW Blackjacks
I’m already regretting this decision to watch, and they’ve only made their entrances. This is mostly punches and kicks for the majority, I hate this dumb fuckin rule that you can tag both guys that are a tag team and now they have to face one another, whoever came up with that is a fuckin idiot and the tag team that do actually fight one another stupid. Headbangers look like they are about to do it but chest bump. LOL, the Blackjacks have “BJ” on their tights. Phil/Doug get into a brawl with the Blackjacks on the floor, Bradshaw shoves a ref at the exact time Phil/Doug are “counted out” even though the ref did not even start a count UGH! JR announces the winner of this gets a title shot tomorrow night on RAW. This was really fucking bad, The Headbangers won and I’m already sick of this show. TRASH!

Honky Tonk Man comes out to do commentary. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WWF Intercontinental Championship: The Sultan (w/Bob Backlund & The Iron Sheik) vs. Rocky Maivia
This is pretty bad, it takes 3 years for this to become good but for right now it’s painful to watch. Rocks punches are shit, and the Sultan is doing this slow/methodical/boring heel rest holds. Just uneventful, it went 9 minutes but felt like 19. The “Rocky Sucks” chants are growing louder by the minute. Rocky kicks out of a piledriver, then 5 seconds later rolls him up for the win. After the match; JR tries to interview Rocky, but the Sultan attacks him and brings him back in. Sheik puts the boots to him right before applying the Camel Clutch. Rocky Johnson runs out to save but the Sultan hits him with the flag and they put the boots to him until Rocky Maivia recovers and cleans house. TRASH!

Backstage: Todd Pettengail interviews Ken Shamrock, Ken talks about the holds he did to Bill Gunn on raw, and he says he didn’t try to hurt him he just wanted to make sure Billy knew who he was. Ken then says he was hired tonight because he knows Submission and neither one of these guys are gonna intimidate him, he’s just here to raise the winner's hand.

Backstage: Dox Hendricks interviews Hunter and Chyna, he asks if Chyna is his personal Assistant, an employee or she your Boss Hunter says this is Mania 13, and as far a Chyna goes he doesn’t need to know anything about it. He says Goldust is a big loser, Marlena better run.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna) vs. Goldust (w/Marlena)
This has great hate by Goldust early on his punches and strikes are on par with Vader and Taker. Hunter continues to take his awesome mid-card bumping and makes Goldust look great. Hunter would take over when first Goldust blocks a superplex but Hunter shoves him off and Goldust takes a face bump off the ring apron. Hunter doesn’t know what body part he wants to work so he just does a bunch of stuff to what seems like to fill up time, sad this about this is the first 2 matches were so shit that they are completely dead for this, we don’t even get one single Goldust attempt of a chant or Hunter sucks. Just dead air or random cheers/boos. The match ends when during Goldust's’ comeback, Chyna begins to stalk Marlena on the floor which forces him to lose focus on the match. He picks Marlena up onto the ring apron but doesn’t see Hunter bump into him, Marlena fly’s off the ring apron into Chyna arms who begins bear hugging her. And Goldust is hit with the Pedigree and Hunter covers for the win. This was solid but felt more like a RAW match than a MANIA or even a PPV match. **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: Shawn Michaels is trying to figure out how to use a computer, it’s the iconic gif of him scratching his head then pushing a key

WWF Tag Team Championships: Mankind & Vader (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Owen Hart & The British Bulldog
Owen has x2 slammy’s on his attire now god bless that man. But never mind that Vader beats the shit out of him in the corner for a good 20 seconds. We get Vader/Owen for a few minutes it’s mostly Vader throwing him around until the match breaks down, then Mankind and Bulldog get in with no tags and the ref allows it, AWESOME Bulldog power moves, as he just runs through both Mankind and Vader, it still amazes me seeing Bulldog pick up Vader with a suplex, a delayed one at that. Vader and Mankind take over when on the floor, Vader hits Bulldog in the back with the urn. Team Mander cut off the ring and this is good but something is lacking, IDK what it is, it got the time and the moves are fine but something just didn’t click; I guess it’s because it’s heel vs. heel. But in this, they had Owen and Bulldog as the face’s by default but Owen has been so amazing at that piece of shitheel since 1994; nobody is buying it so we kinda get another dead crowd. Owen gets a hot tag and cleans house, but the numbers and the weight advantage is too much so we get a double heat segment now with Owen being worked over. The highlight sadly of the match is Lawler ripping Helen and Stu Hart whenever on camera Bulldog gets the hot tag and the match breaks down, Mankind applies the mandible claw on the floor but refuse to break the hold so it’s a double countout smh. **3/4

Bret/Austin video package

Submission Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart (Special Referee: Ken Shamrock)
Oh damn, I forgot how hot this started that double arm takedown buys Austin right into the brawl on the floor even the thud of Austin hitting the ringpost. I liked the brawl in the crowd mostly because they really laid into one another but the people were so close that we had to go to this shitty above view footage. They eventually brawl back to ringside and the pure hatred and just the intensity that every move is delivered with is just beautiful; Bret begins to work Austin’s knee who now has a one knee brace on. This might be some of Bret’s best work if we’re talking about isolating a body part, I hate to use this word again but it’s so vicious and with every blow to the knee, I swear a small section of the crowd turn on him even more FIGURE-FOUR AROUND HE RINGPOST! Bret brings in a chair tries to pillmanize Austin for revenge but Austin gets his second win and nails him in the back with it, not once but twice. Austin now takes over and his viciousness is on par with Bret’s everything is dished out with pure hate but is crisp. Austin locks in I think it’s an octopus hold on the mat, but when that doesn’t work Austin locks him in the Boston Crab but Bret gets to the ropes and Ken forces him to break, even though it’s NoDq. They fight on the floor and Bret whips Austin into the guard rails, and Austin is split open, he’s bleeding bad, it’s leaking everywhere. As AWESOME as Bret’s viciousness towards working Austin’s knee, the viciousness of attacking the cut is even more just vicious. Once he’s done with the cut now the blood is flowing he begins using the chair on Austin’s knee softening it up for the sharpshooter. But, Austin continues to fight he rakes the eyes. Austin then low blows him and Bret does the corner chest bump Austin starts feeling it now, and now has his 3rd maybe 4th wind or he’s just running off adrenaline and connects with a superplex off the top. Austin begins choking out Bret with an extension cord, but Bret counters by hitting him with the ring bell. Now he locks in the sharpshooter AND WE GET ONE OF THE GREATEST VISUALS IN WRESTLING HISTORY OF AUSTIN IN THE SHARPSHOOTER REFUSING TO QUIT, THE BLOOD SQUIRTING DOWN HIS FACE INTO HIS EYES DOWN HIS TEETH AND HE BREAKS IT, BUT HE’S TOO WEAK HE JUST GAVE HIS LAST DITCH ENERGY TO DO IT. BUT BRET CONTINUES TO HAVE IT LOCKED IN AND AUSTIN PASSES OUT! After the match; Bret continues to kick away at Austin knee’s until Ken has to physically pull him off. Once Bret leaves a ref tries to help Austin up bit AUSTIN IS THE FUCKIN MAN SO HE STUNS HIM AND LEAVES ON HIS OWN TO THE BUILDING CHANTING “AUSTIN” I’ve probably seen this match 20, 30 times and it still blows me away every time, it’s arguably the most perfectly well put together match of all time. If you’ve never seen it do it now, also if you want some real behind the scenes go list to Austin podcast, where he does commentary over it and gives us some insight. Top 5, all-time. *****

Backstage: Todd Pettengail interviews the Nation; Faarooq says he has the kitchen sink.

Chicago Street Fight: The Nation Of Domination (Faarooq, Crash & Savio Vega) vs. The Legion of Doom & Ahmed Johnson
So this is what it is, huge hilarious sloppy brawl. But the crowd is so woke after that amazing Bret/Austin match and for the hometown LOD so everything is over. Tons of weapons shots, Animal tries to piledrive Faarooq on one of those tables on the floor but I think the weight was too much so they both just falls I’ll give them credit the camera men and the guys in the truck did an amazing job capturing everything all on one view instead of cutting to split-screen. LOL @ JR chocking on the fire extinguisher gas? Alright, this continues for several more minutes until Hawk and Ahmed hit Crush with a 2x4 for the pin. After the match; Ahmed & LoD continue to beat up PG-13 and the rest of the nation. Can’t rate but its super fun, if you like hardcore and men taking insane bumps.

Shawn Michaels comes out for commentary.

Backstage Todd Pettengail interviews Sid, Sid says Mania is the biggest event of the world and it comes once a year, but when darkness falls every man, woman and child will be scared except for one person. Only one person is not scared of the darkness or the Undertaker and that is me, my friend. IN THE GAME WE PLAY! I AM THE MASTER AND I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD!!!!

As soon as the bell rings Bret comes out and grabs the mic; he says “Shawn Michaels, first of all, the phony little faker, why don’t you take your little pussyfoot injury, go back and find your smile but whatever you do stay out of this match. As for you Taker when you slammed that door on my head, you slammed that door on our friendship and from here on in it’s a new set of rules between you and me. As you Sid, you know and I know and so do the people that, that WWF title belongs to me. You are a fraud” Sid then hits Bret and gives him the powerbomb, refs and officials run from the back and bring Bret to the back LET’S GO HEEL BRET

No Holds Barred Match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid
This isn’t good like at all, but it isn’t all time worse like I’ve heard people call it. Now, this getting 20 minutes is absolutely ridiculous. Sid does a bunch of power moves and rest holds but I as much as I’m watching, I just trying to see if we can see the exact point his shit himself. Taker is Taker, though, great punches and bumping, oh he took some great bumps. This is very uneventful and it’s pretty obvious they are having a shit load of trouble filling the 20 minutes, thankfully after 18 minutes and I still can’t tell when he shit himself, I’m lowkey hoping it was early in the match because Sid had done a shit load of leaping and flying around, he totally got an ass rash after this, anyway Bret comes back down and hits Sid with a chair, officials and ref again come down and force Bret to leave. Back in, Taker connects with a chokeslam but Sid kicks out, Sid signals for a powerbomb but again Bret is here he hangs Sid up throat-first on the top rope, and Taker hits the Tombstone for the win. *1/2 - *3/4