Two weeks ago, at
SummerSlam, the world witnessed an all-time classic! With the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship hanging in the balance, “The Heart Break Kid“
SHAWN MICHAELS and “The Bad Guy“
RAZOR RAMON had a match for the ages. After nearly a half-hour of arduous action, it was Shawn who emerged victorious by unhooking the gold.
Tonight, on the season premiere of Monday Night Raw, there will be no rest for the boy toy as he must defend his Intercontinental belt against the crazed lunatic of the World Wrestling Federation –
SYCHO SID! Can “HBK“ keep his former bodyguard down with Sweet Chin Music or will the crown jewel of The Million Dollar Corporation break the hearts of WWF fans the world over by ruining Shawn’s comeback story?
Let’s hear from the combatants ahead of their highly anticipated encounter…
The first WWF Superstar we see is
SYCHO SID! Clad in dark blue trunks, the mentally unbalanced monster from West Memphis, Arkansas stands in front of a black background. Beside Sid is “The Million Dollar Man”
TED DiBIASE, the tycoon dressed in a brown Armani suit with a white dress shirt and black tie.
Sycho Sid and Ted DiBiase
Sycho Sid: Shawn Michaels, when you reached your hands… into the GATES OF HELL… and chose me to be your bodyguard… you made the biggest MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE! You are a very STUPID… little man, Michaels… and ya NEVER SHOULD-A CAME BACK! But now I’ll give ya the farewell you deserve, Shawn… ‘cause I am in control of your CAREER!
Ted DiBiase: Five months ago, “Boy Toy”, this man here lifted you into the air three times for the Powerbomb and dropped you on your head! As you laid for weeks in that hospital bed, I know you were wondering to yourself – why? Why did Sid betray me? What was his motivation? Well, Shawn, all the motivation that big Sid needed… was my money! HA-HA-HA! Shawn, it wasn’t wise of you to get involved in Sid’s business with Diesel and cost him the World Wrestling Federation Championship, but now Sid will settle for taking your Intercontinental Title! HA-HA-HA!
Sycho Sid: You know, Shawn, you wanted to protect your best friend Diesel ‘cause ya sensed that thing in the pit-a his stomach… that thing we call FEAR! ‘Cause Diesel was AFRAID OF THE MASTER! But what now, Shawn? Your best friend ain’t here… so who’s gonna protect you from me? Who’s gonna protect you, Shawn, from the man… who rules the world. |
Wearing flamboyant red heart-shaped sunglasses, dangle cross earrings, and a sparkly silver fishnet vest over black tights with silver and light blue hearts is
SHAWN MICHAELS! Also, in front of a black background, the reigning WWF Intercontinental Champion has a rebuttal for the man he’ll be wrestling in Raw’s main event.
Shawn Michaels
Shawn Michaels: Ya know, Sid, everybody in the World Wrestling Federation thought I was a little cuckoo for pallin’ around with ya, but ol’ HBK just didn’t wanna listen! Hey, I can be a little stubborn sometimes and I paid for it, right? But you tried to take me out of the business that I love, Sid! You tried to break my body and you tried to break my spirit! Well, I got news for ya, Jack: The Heart Break Kid has got nine lives and you’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy, pal! Yeah, I’ve got nine lives, Sycho Sid, and I’m usin’ this life to right all the wrongs in my old one!
I started by patchin’ things up with “Big Daddy Cool” and gettin’ back the most important thing in my life: the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Title! At SummerSlam, HBK and “The Bad Guy” made history again, and this time it was me climbin’ that ladder and pullin’ down the IC strap! And now Sid, tonight’s the night – the night that I finish my list and get you back! Boys and girls, cats and kittens, don’t go anywhere ‘cause The Heart Break Kid’s gonna kick big Sid’s teeth right down his throat! And maybe I’ll save some chin music for Daddy Warbucks, too! |
Monday, September 11, 1995
Canton, OH.
To commemorate the
new fall season, our telecast opens with a video showcasing the unpredictability of the WWF as Superstars battle atop Titan Towers, set to
“I Like It Raw“, the new Raw anthem! Once it concludes, the blaring of sirens greets the television viewing audience along with the roars of the raucous crowd here in the Canton Memorial Civic Center!
After scanning the venue, cameras trail over to the metal guardrail where we see our hosts of the program –
VINCE McMAHON and
JERRY LAWLER – wielding wired microphones as they prepare to deliver the standup introduction.
Jolly as can be, Vince is dressed for the occasion in a tan blazer over a black turtleneck while the smirking Memphis icon is wearing a red and gold royal jacket with no shirt underneath, displaying Jerry’s startlingly hairy chest. As per usual, Lawler’s kingly crown rests on top of his black mulleted locks.
Vince McMahon and Jerry “The King“ Lawler
Vince McMahon: Do you like it Raw? Because I sure do! WELCOME EVERYONE to the season premiere of MONDAY NIGHT RAWWW!
Wearing a wide smile, the respected play-by-play host takes in the moment, truly delighted to be back on the air following a series of U.S. Open pre-emptions.
Vince McMahon: Hello, everyone, Vince McMahon here, along with Jerry “The King“ Lawler, and what a show we have for you this week! Ladies and gentlemen, we have an unbelievable main event that will see “The Heart Break Kid“ Shawn Michaels defend the WWF Intercontinental Championship against Sycho Sid, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that Shawn Michaels will send Sycho Sid back to the loony bin! What's your royal prediction, Jerry Lawler?
Jerry Lawler: First things first, McMahon, his name's Sid, and Sid only. Unless you want him to stomp down here and snatch that cheap toupee off your head, I suggest you get it right and stop calling him Sycho! As far as the Intercontinental Title match is concerned, I've put my broadcast journalism skills to good use and done a little digging.
Vince McMahon: Oh, really? And what exactly have you uncovered?
McMahon looks to Lawler with an inquisitive expression, wanting to know more.
Jerry Lawler: I've uncovered that Shawn Michaels is a complete mess coming off the ladder match against Razor Ramon at SummerSlam, McMahon! In fact, a reliable source told me that dancing fool is so banged up that he can barely walk and he’s going to hand the Intercontinental Title belt over to Sid! I can't wait to see the looks on the faces of all the peons, especially these moronic zit-faced teenyboppers, when “The Heart Break Kid“ shuts down his Heart Break Hotel! Ha-ha!
The Memphis royal’s eyes go wide as he chuckles with devilish glee. McMahon meanwhile shakes his head, disgusted at the enjoyment Lawler would get from the misfortune of others.
Vince McMahon: I refuse to believe that, Jerry Lawler! Shawn Michaels is the pit bull of the World Wrestling Federation – the gutsiest, most flamboyant, and most awe-inspiring WWF Superstar we have ever seen! I predict that by the end of the night, you'll have a royal egg on your face!
That comment earns a roll of the eyes from “The King”, but McMahon is undeterred.
Vince McMahon: Nevertheless, we've got that title match and a whole lot more coming your way this evening, fans, including a look back at the main event of SummerSlam and the current medical condition of “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel, plus the In Your House Report with Todd Pettengill, breaking down the card for our next pay-per-view extravaganza in just two weeks time on September twenty-four!
Once again jubilant, Vince is suddenly interrupted by a petite blonde female stagehand who hands him a stapled document with a visible WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION letterhead. Jerry Lawler immediately tries to sneak a peek, feeling entirely left out, but McMahon turns away from the monarch, leaving “The King” to curl his lip in vexation. As Jerry pouts, Vince examines the pages of the document before turning back round to explain what he’s just received.
Vince McMahon: Wow, this just in from the office of our Interim WWF President Gorilla Monsoon… the NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion King Mabel will make his first defense at our third In Your House event on September the twenty-fourth against… Bret “The Hitman“ Hart! What a match that will be! How about that, Jerry Lawler?!
“The King of Memphis” cannot believe it and balls his free hand into a fist.
Jerry Lawler: He's only been President for a month and I'm already sick of that dirty, rotten ape Monsoon! I should be getting that title shot, McMahon, not that no-good commoner Bret Hart! I mean think about it, King Mabel against King Lawler in the Royal Colosseum! It writes itself! Ugh! I'll tell you this, McMahon, SummerSlam was just the beginning because my royal dentist Isaac Yankem isn't finished operating on “The Hitman.“ He will extract his revenge on Hart and rid the WWF of that disgusting pink and black cavity, I promise you that! |
The sound of screeching tires ceases Vince and Lawler’s banter, the
“Bad Boy” tune heralding the arrival of
RAZOR RAMON and
THE 1-2-3 KID. Decked out in matching green and gold attires, Razor and The Kid saunter down the aisle, Ramon dripping gold and oozing machismo while his little buddy joyfully slaps the hands of the fans.
After ring announcer Manny Garcia introduces their opponents – a scowling Richard Kind lookalike in plain white trunks by the name of
CHESTER McNEALY and a bulky masked wrestler in all black fittingly named
BLACK PHANTOM – we are shown highlights from
SummerSlam courtesy of our friends at Coliseum Home Video.
Along with a brief look at the spectacular ladder contest Razor had against Shawn Michaels over the Intercontinental Title, we see footage of Razor busting into the makeshift classroom of WWF newcomer
DEAN DOUGLAS. Inside the classroom as part of a “summer school” edition of
The Report Card, the educator had critiqued World Wrestling Federation combatants throughout the
SummerSlam event but made the mistake of going way too far in his harsh assessment of “The Bad Guy.“
When confronted by the hot-tempered Cuban from Miami, “The Dean“ backpedaled before lunging for a sucker punch. Anticipating disciplinary action from the lecturer, Razor Ramon blocked Dean Douglas's punch and thwacked the academic with one of his own to leave Douglas laying!
The story doesn’t end there as just two days ago on WWF Superstars, Douglas made a successful debut, defeating The 1-2-3 Kid via disqualification after Razor Ramon rushed in to protect his friend and get some more of the sanctimonious scholar!
OPENING CONTEST
Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid versus Chester McNealy & Black Phantom
With Ramon not fully recovered from the
SummerSlam ladder match, Kid decides to handle the brunt of the duties for their team, going at it with McNealy to start. Right from the get-go, The 1-2-3 Kid's educated feet are on full display as he clocks Chester with impressive martial arts kicks.
The tide turns in favor of the unknown opponents, however, when the hooded Phantom makes a blind tag and decks the unsuspecting Kid with a vicious Double Axe Handle Smash to the upper back! His blood already boiling at the sight of his friend of two years being clobbered, Razor absolutely bursts into the ring after being taunted by Black Phantom. With referee Danny Davis doing everything in his power to force the enraged “Bad Guy” back onto the apron, though, the evil doers take advantage by entering without tags and laying into 1-2-3 with illegal double-team maneuvers!
Despite the onslaught, the underdog from Minneapolis displays his huge heart by repeatedly kicks out of pins, something that has made The 1-2-3 Kid such a crowd favorite. Fortunately for Kid and Ramon, their opponents are anything but a well-oiled machine and a series of miscommunications from the inexperienced rulebreakers allows the lightning-quick Kid to slip through their grasp and tag in Razor Ramon!
Wrecking shop, Razor wallops the incoming hooded Phantom with a series of punches capped off with a big Discus Punch that would have “Iron” Mike Tyson envious! Turning his attention to the legal man McNealy, the former three-time Intercontinental Champion dumps McNealy with a trifecta of Scoop Slams. Failing to garner a three-count, Ramon backs Chester into the ropes and sends him off with an Irish Whip, but the rulebreaker catches Razor with a boot to the gut! With “The Bad Guy” doubled over, Chester McNealy springs off the ropes and jumps toward his foe with a Running Crossbody Block… and Chester is caught!
FALLAWAY SLAM FROM RAZOR RAMON!
Springing to his feet, the hot-tempered Cuban star signals for the finishing blow and bends down to pick up McNealy. Taking advantage of his opportunity, Black Phantom rushes in to strike the unaware Razor… but Phantom’s clock is cleaned with
A MISSILE DROPKICK DELIVERED BY THE 1-2-3 KID! With the masked rulebreaker downed, Razor Ramon gives a thankful nod to his buddy before lifting Chester McNealy and dropping him down to the canvas…
RAZOR’S EDGE! Ramon scores with his devastating Crucifix Powerbomb! Razor casually hooks the leg of his foe – One… Two… THREE!
Winners: Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid via pinfall in 4:31
Happy to be back on the winning side of things after their respective losses at
SummerSlam – and Kid’s recent DQ loss to Dean Douglas – Razor and The Kid soak in the adulation before heading up the aisleway. Before the heroes can exit, though, the always enthusiastic
DOK HENDRIX bursts out from the backstage area with a wireless microphone in hand, stopping them in their tracks by the big red R A W letters on stage.
Absurdly dressed in a loud purple suit that even The Artist Formerly Known as Prince would snicker at, “Handsome” Dok steps closer to Razor Ramon and The 1-2-3 Kid, looking to secure an impromptu interview.
Dok Hendrix and Razor Ramon and The 1-2-3 Kid
Dok Hendrix: Gentlemen, gentlemen, first things first I gotta congratulate ya on an impressive win here tonight! But I gotta stop ya both for just an itty-bitty second, if ya don't mind. Just a couple-a quick questions, gentlemen, I promise ya that the good doctor'll only take a minute or two of your time!
Razor doesn’t seem to be in the mood for an interview but shrugs after a “C’mon, Razor. Why not?” and slap on the back from The Kid.
Razor Ramon: Alright, Dok. Andale… make it quick, mang.
Smiling as widely as Jim Carrey in the recent blockbuster hit Batman Forever, Hendrix settles down – as much as he can – before beginning the interview.
Dok Hendrix: Weeeeeeell, Razor, as we saw not too long ago, you entered the classroom of “The Dean“ at SummerSlam and you knocked him right on his highly educated booty! Well, there's been word passin' all around town, Charlie Brown, and it's looking like the George Feeny of the World Wrestling Federation – that being Mister Dean Douglas – wants to send ya to detention! Whaddya gotta say about that, “Bad Guy?“
Razor Ramon: I make it crystal clear… for you, Dok, and for everyone… watchin’ right now. At SummerSlam, Da Bad Guy and “Da Heart Break Kid“ went hombre a hombre... mang to mang... for da Intercontinental belt. I not gonna make excuses, mang… on that night “Da Heart Break Kid“… was da better mang. But that bookworm… Dean Douglas… wanna talk tough in da classroom… and rub it in da face-a Da Bad Guy? I don't think so, chico. So, I went to da school… and I see that he all talk... and no heart. Yo, Dean, you want a fight… with Razor Ramon? Then you gotta leave da class... and come to da barrio, chico. ‘Cuz Da Bad Guy got no problemo with carvin'... you... up!
A round of cheers from the audience follows Ramon’s threatening words, but Kid raises a questioning eyebrow and steps to Hendrix’s mike.
The 1-2-3 Kid: Wait a minute, Razor. You're not the only one who wants a piece of Dean Douglas, man. I had him beat in the center of the ring last weekend on Superstars before you got involved, Razor. Because of your interference, I was disqualified, and Douglas got a win that he didn’t deserve! I know you want to get back at him, but I know I can beat him, Razor, and shut his mouth for good!
Shifty-eyed, “Handsome” Dok Hendrix observes both WWF Superstars as they begin discussing the matter.
Dok Hendrix: Well, well, well, what's it gonna be, gentlemen? Only one-a you can wrestle “The Dean“ because it's all about one-on-one competition here in the World Wrestling Federation. Wait a minute... I got it! Oh, yeah, that’s the ticket! Eureka! I've got a brilliant idea, if I do say so myself: what if you two get in the ring and duke it out, and then the winner of your match gets to step into the ring against Dean Douglas and give him a taste of his own medicine with a pop quiz?!
Mixed reaction from the fans for that one; clearly, they’d all love to see Douglas get what he deserves… but they’re split on the idea of a match between two good friends like Razor and The Kid.
Razor Ramon: Óyeme… listen to me, Kid-mang. You… are mi amigo… my friend, chico. I not gonna hurt you… no matter wha-
The 1-2-3 Kid suddenly pulls the microphone away from Ramon and towards himself.
The 1-2-3 Kid: Hurt me? What's that supposed to mean, Razor? Wait… you know what, Dok, I think that's a really good idea, man. I think the two of us should get in that ring and find out who the better wrestler is. And whoever wins, they get to take Dean Douglas to school! How about it, Razor?
Dok Hendrix: I'd love to see it, I gotta say!
Razor glares at Hendrix, frightening the good doctor, before returning his gaze to The Kid. It’s evident by the look on his face that “The Bad Guy” is unenthusiastic about taking on his little buddy.
The 1-2-3 Kid: And I think all the WWF fans would love to see it, too. C’mon, Razor, let’s do it, man.
Dok Hendrix: It'd be a great match! Plus, there’s a whole lotta history here because The 1-2-3 Kid has a perfect record against you, Razor! Can you beat The Kid? Does he just have your number? The world’s gotta know, daddy-o!
Infamous for stirring up trouble, “Handsome” Hendrix grins while awaiting a response from Ramon.
Razor Ramon: If that's da way… you want it... then fine, chico. I not gonna take it easy… on you, Kid-mang. You gonna get da best-a Da Bad Guy. And when it is all over... said and done, chico… I gonna beat you uno, dos, tres... One, two, three, Kid.
Ramon smirks at The Kid before adjusting his gold chains and departing to the backstage area. After all the parties have left the scene, we transition over to the ringside announce position where we once again see VINCE McMAHON and JERRY LAWLER.
Vince McMahon: Can you believe that? It sounds like we’re gearing up for a match between Razor Ramon and The 1-2-3 Kid! Unbelievable! Perhaps we’ll hear more about that potential match-up next week, but let’s keep our attention on this week because still to come, ladies and gentlemen, Shawn Michaels puts the Intercontinental Title on the line against Sid!
Jerry Lawler: The end is near for Shawn Michaels, McMahon, and I can’t wait to see it! Ha-ha!
Vince McMahon: We shall see about that, but when we return, fans, we’ll see Waylon Mercy in action plus a whole lot more! Stay with us! |
As WWF production theme
“Outland” cues up, we see black and white clips from
WrestleMania XI back in April. On that night in Hartford, Connecticut,
THE SMOKING GUNNS defended their WWF Tag Team Titles against
OWEN HART and a partner of his choosing.
Perhaps expecting Owen to align himself with a member of his family, Billy and Bart Gunn were shocked to see the re-emergence of “The Mighty”
YOKOZUNA – now sporting a thick beard and tipping the scales at
well over six hundred pounds!
Taken completely off guard by the sumo Grand Champion's presence, the rodeo cowboys from the Lone Star State lost the Tag Team Championship that evening to the newly formed team of Owen and Yokozuna.
After months of fighting their way up the tag team ranks, The Smoking Gunns will get a return match against the reigning champions.
Will the Gunns recapture the gold and bring the belts back to the Great State of Texas?
Can Owen Hart and Yokozuna continue their dominant run as titleholders?
We’ll soon find out...
The Smoking Gunns battle Owen Hart & Yokozuna for the WWF Tag Team Titles!
NEXT WEEK ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW!
~“LIVES ARE GONNA BE… IN WAYLON MERCY’S HANDS! YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?”~
When we return from ad break, the intimidating
WAYLON MERCY moseys down the aisleway as
“Lives Are Going to Change” fills the venue. Attired in a blue Hawaiian tee full of yellow daffodils over a white tank top and white pants, the southern gentleman from Griffin, Georgia shakes the hands of extremely reluctant fans, a grin plastered across his face.
After entering the squared circle, Mercy continues expressing courteousness by shaking hands with referee Tim White along with ring announcer Manny Garcia and even Waylon’s opponent –
JOE DORGAN. The novice wrestler, dressed in vibrant neon green tights, is visibly taken aback at the pleasant nature of Mercy, perhaps catching himself judging a book by its scary cover.
“I’m telling you, McMahon, this Waylon Mercy character is such a good guy! I won’t lie… when I saw that dagger tattoo on his forehead and the wide eyes, I thought maybe… well maybe he’s not the type of guy you’d want to encounter in a dark alley. But I had it all wrong! Waylon’s the type of guy to help an old lady with her groceries – he’ll even leave a tip for a minimum-wage peon!”
Vince McMahon isn’t quite as convinced as Jerry Lawler, remarking that
“This guy’s a conman, plain and simple! I don’t trust him at all, and I would suggest that Mercy’s opponents don’t fall for his act, either.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Lawler counters,
“I mean what kind of message are you sending, McMahon? Waylon does all the right things and yet you look at him like he’s some kinda criminal!”
“As far as we know, he very well could be.” Vince fires back to get the last word before Tim White calls for the bell.
Waylon Mercy versus Joe Dorgan
A switch is flipped in Mercy once the bell rings as the southern gentleman flings his tropical Hawaiian t-shirt into Dorgan's mug and takes the opportunity to bash the blinded rookie with knees to the midsection! Backing Joe into the corner, the formerly mild-mannered Georgian brutalizes the young man with violent closed fist punches, completely ignoring repeated admonishment from Timmy White.
Finally relenting after the official’s count reaches four, Waylon paint brushes Dorgan with a pair of disrespectful slaps before getting him in Vertical Suplex position and raising Joe high in the sky…
BRAINBUSTER SPIKES DORGAN INTO THE CANVAS!
Although the deed is done after that truly nasty maneuver, Mercy scoops the lifeless ham ‘n egger up from the canvas. Literally holding Joe Dorgan’s life in his hands, the southern gentleman bares his teeth before wrapping his arms around the rookie –
SLEEPER HOLD!
The hold is cinched in tight and now the eyes of Waylon Mercy open widely as he squeezes the life force out of Dorgan! Barely able to stand after the Brainbuster, it’s all over for Joe Dorgan now as his body turns to gelatin and he collapses to his knees, Mercy squeezing tighter like an anaconda on the Sleeper Hold before Tim White swiftly signals to the timekeeper!
Winner: Waylon Mercy via submission in 3:05
The bell has rung but Mercy maintains his grip on the Sleeper Hold!
“That’s enough! The match is over!” McMahon hollers from the booth, incredibly upset at Waylon’s actions.
His eyes still wide, the sight of White reaching his hands in to try and forcibly break the hold is enough to bring Mercy back to reality as he
finally releases the Sleeper.
“What’s the matter with you?!” Vince lets out, soon asking the monarch beside him if Waylon stills seems like a
good guy!
“Look, McMahon, he’s checking on him now. Relax, Waylon just… just wanted to make sure he won the match – that’s all.”
In the ring, Waylon has dropped to his knees to check on the unconscious Joe Dorgan, resting a palm on the supine youngster’s chest. At the same time, the southern gentleman is asking a bewildered Timmy White to explain to Mercy what happened to the young man.
“I’m not sure what to make of this… Waylon Mercy. First, he takes it over the line and now it’s like Mercy has no idea of the damage he’s caused? Nevertheless, ladies and gentlemen, right now let’s take you to an equally unusual individual. This man has generated significant buzz in recent weeks, and he is on his way to the World Wrestling Federation…”
We now shift to the interior of an extravagant trailer with several unopened bottles of champagne, as well as pristine golden sofas, armchairs and a very expensive looking golden column refrigerator and freezer set. Seated on the sofa is
GOLDUST, a man with platinum blonde hair dressed almost entirely in gold from his gold face paint with black designs and lips, golden tuxedo with gold bowtie, and gold gloves down to his gold Gucci loafers.
As he begins delicately buffing a multitude of large gold trophies laying beside him, Goldust suddenly looks toward the camera as if a director off-screen has shouted
“ACTION!”
Goldust
Goldust: Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. The Pride of the Yankees. 1942. Ohhh yessss, I am the luckiest man on the face of the earth… certainly luckier than the Iron Horse himself. I've got it all, ohhhh yesss, I do. The screen presence, it factor, the acting skills that have made me into the Hollywood superstar that I am. Ohhh, I've got the luck of the Irish, but I don't associate with that unremarkable color… green. Yuck. No, no, no, the only color reserved for a man the caliber of myself, the only color that exemplifies stardom and renown is... gold.
My perpetual pursuit of gold has led me to the World Wrestling Federation, but I'm not coming just for gold, ohhh nooo, I'm also coming to show the world what a true superstar is. To have super-stardom bestowed upon you, you must work diligently, form strong connections, and be oh-so magnificent at your craft that the tabloids cover your every move. And in due time, the tabloids will be covering my World Wrestling Federation exploits. Ohhh yesss, once production wraps, I will be on the lookout for a co-star in my next Hollywood blockbuster hit. Just know, supposed Superstars of the World Wrestling Federation, that just like the folks here in Tinseltown... you will always remember the name of... Goldust. |
Henry O. Godwinn versus Buck Quartermaine
When Raw returns from a commercial break, we jump into a match currently in progress! Try as he might, the youngster Quartermaine is unable to land any significant strikes on “The Hog Farmer“ and finds himself on the receiving end of a tail kicking from ol’ Hank Godwinn!
“Ladies and gentlemen,” McMahon suddenly remarks during the contest,
“I am receiving word that the Interim WWF President Gorilla Monsoon is currently drawing up the contracts for a future match – possibly at In Your House – between Razor Ramon and The 1-2-3 Kid!”
Along with that notice, Vince states that
Gorilla Monsoon will make a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT this weekend on Superstars!
With our focus back on the action inside the ring, we see the proud blue overall-clad country boy from Bitters, Arkansas get Quartermaine in position for the Reverse DDT –
SLOP DROP! Letting out a
“SOOEY!” call to the hogs, Henry Godwinn covers Buck with a lax lateral press – One… Two… THREE!
Winner: Henry O. Godwinn via pinfall in 1:53 shown
After the bell sounds,
“Slop” starts up as H.O.G. exits the ring to retrieve his big blue pail of pig slop. Flashing a gap-toothed smile, Godwinn steps closer to the downed Quartermaine and raises the pail up to his chest. After looking to the crowd for approval, “The Hog Farmer” slowly tips the pail over,
dumping a disgusting, putrid concoction of green and brownish slop across the face of Buck Quartermaine!
“I’m gonna lose my lunch!” Lawler squeals in the booth.
“Unbelievable!” McMahon exclaims.
“I guess it’s true what they say – anything can happen here in the World Wrestling Federation! Even a slopping!”
Leaving with his blue pail containing bits of malodorous slop, Godwinn heartily chuckles after successfully slopping yet another WWF Superstar!
“Alright, stand by, folks, because here’s Todd Pettengill with the In Your House Report! And when we come back, we’ll update you on the condition of ‘Big Daddy Cool’ Diesel! And after that, it’s main event time as ‘The Heart Break Kid’ Shawn Michaels steps into the ring against Sycho Sid with the WWF Intercontinental Championship up for grabs! Don’t go anywhere! Take it away, Todd!”
Over to the control center we go, and we’re quickly greeted by
TODD PETTENGILL as he stands in front of a massive
In Your House logo blue screen background. Uniquely dressed in a dark blue sports coat over a red tee, white slacks and black slip-ons, the intrepid reporter quickly discusses the events of the previous contest involving Henry O. Godwinn.
“Looks like ‘The Hog Farmer’ is all riled up, doesn’t it? That’s probably on account of being unceremoniously booted out of The Million Dollar Corporation by Ted DiBiase a few weeks ago. Well, with the way things are looking right about now, I think you should skedaddle over to your fall residence in Bel Air, California, Ted, because Mister Godwinn’s surely going to drop some of that delicious slop down your greedy gullet!”
After chuckling to himself, “The Toddster” hypes the third installment of the
In Your House pay-per-view series. The event has a suitably royal spin this time around with the full title of
In Your House: Kingdom Come! This sure-to-be incredible extravaganza will be coming our way in just two weeks time on September the twenty-fourth, TOTALLY LIVE on pay-per-view at 7 o’clock Eastern/4 o’clock Pacific.
And for just $14.95 – that’s right
$14.95, what a value! – you can witness
two hours of amazing WWF action from the originators of pay-per-view Sports Entertainment! So,
pick up the phone and call your local cable company to ensure you’re not the poor fella who goes to school the following Monday
clueless as to what happened at
In Your House!
“The Saginaw Civic Center in Saginaw, Michigan will be the lucky host of the third In Your House and, man, what a card it is shaping up to be! Our fan-friendly Interim President Gorilla Monsoon has been hard at work, hasn’t he? Speaking of the card, let’s get to it!”
As we heard earlier on the program from Vince McMahon, the main event of
In Your House 3 will see
KING MABEL – the tyrant of the WWF – put the World Wrestling Federation Championship on the line against the legendary
BRET HART.
“It has been ten months since ‘The Hitman’ wore the prestigious WWF Title, but it won’t be easy to win back the gold. Bret has taken down giants and monsters in the past, but as we saw at SummerSlam, King Mabel is unlike any competitor we have ever seen in the World Wrestling Federation. Who’s going to leave Saginaw with the gold? You’ll have to order the show to find out, folks!”
Also, on the
In Your House card, it’ll be a meeting of the former brute of The Million Dollar Corporation –
BAM BAM BIGELOW – and the current big gun of the group –
KING KONG BUNDY. Since quitting the Corporation in April and aligning himself with Diesel, Bigelow has been out to
bankrupt “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase!
“Can ‘The Beast From the East’ set fire to DiBiase’s never-ending stack of C-notes? To do so, he’ll have to get past big, bad Bundy!”
Lastly announced so far is a
revenge match pitting the unorthodox
HAKUSHI against the fitness guru
SKIP of
THE BODY DONNAS. After being on the receiving end of perhaps the biggest upset in WWF history when he lost to
BARRY HOROWITZ in the journeyman’s first-ever victory, Skip found himself in dire straits. A subsequent Ten-Minute Challenge loss to Horowitz didn’t help, so the physically fit WWF Superstar was hoping a final showdown with Horowitz at
SummerSlam would turn his luck around.
Unfortunately for Skip, he made himself an enemy of “The Modern-Day Kamikaze” by inadvertently costing the Japanese enigma a match against Barry. Getting payback on the WWF’s answer to Tony Little, Hakushi distracted Skip by flying into the ring during the
SummerSlam bout, allowing Horowitz to roll up the Body Donna and garner a flawless 3-0 record!
“The WWF’s most physically fit Superstar and his equally *cough* irritating *cough*… I mean in-shape companion aren’t too pleased with what happened at SummerSlam. The Body Donnas are looking to fix the three Barry Horowitz blemishes on Skip’s record and get a measure of revenge against Hakushi. But don’t just take my word for it, you can hear it straight from the horses’ mouths…”
Skip and Sunny: The Body Donnas
Sunny: Hakushi, I don’t know what you were possibly thinking costing my man Skip his match at SummerSlam, but you’ve gone and made him angry! And you won’t like Skip when he’s angry!
Skip: That’s right! Hakushi, I already apologized for hitting you! It was an accident, but you wouldn’t accept my apology even after I graciously offered you a free copy of my Skip’s Super Stamina Series: Summer Edition tape. What’s wrong with you?! Why wouldn’t you accept my gift?! Don’t you know how many hours I spent working--
Sunny: Get back on track, babe.
The dolorous blonde drops his head in shame upon being reprimanded by his girl.
Skip: Sorry, hun. The point is, Hakushi, that you helped that pipsqueak, that imbecile Barry Horrible-witz beat me and now you have to pay, buddy!
Sunny: When you get into the ring with my man at In Your House, Hakushi, he’s going to wipe the mat with you! Isn’t that right, babe?
Seizing the opportunity, Skip wraps his arms around his sweet lady.
Skip: Sure is, babe.
Sunny: Good, because if you fail again, Skip, there will be serious consequences.
Skip abruptly lets go of Sunny, mouth agape and his eyebrow beginning to perspire.
Skip: Oh, no. You don’t mean… you can’t possibly…
The comely blonde tilts her head to the side, looking sternly at her boyfriend.
Sunny: Get the job done, Skip. |
SYCHO SID and
TED DiBIASE are already in the ring when Raw returns, the lunatic pacing as
“Psycho Dance” plays. Attired in dark blue trunks with white wrist tape, black Body Glove elbow pad, and black boots, “The Master and Ruler of the World” yanks on the ropes like a madman!
“Sycho Sid with the opportunity to add the Intercontinental Title to Ted DiBiase’s collection. And after what went down at SummerSlam with Kama being laid to rest by The Undertaker, DiBiase’s Million Dollar Corporation are certainly looking to improve their fortunes.” Vince McMahon astutely comments.
“Improve their fortunes?! I didn’t hear anything about DiBiase going broke, did you, McMahon? You want to talk about SummerSlam, McMahon, then why don’t we remind the peons out there of what happened to Diesel, huh?!”
As Sid and DiBiase talk strategy, highlights of the
SummerSlam main event begin to air – courtesy of Coliseum Home Video – as we see
DIESEL bravely go into battle against
KING MABEL for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. Despite having his ribs cracked six days earlier, the tough-as-nails WWF Champion gave it his best shot before ultimately falling short to the WWF’s “Mammoth Monarch.”
“If it wasn’t for The British Bulldog turning his back on Diesel and the fans who loved him, seemingly joining up with Jim Cornette for reasons we’re not sure of just yet… I know Diesel would be here tonight still the WWF Champion!”
“Woulda, coulda, shoulda, McMahon!” Lawler says mockingly.
“The fact is that Davey Boy Smith showed his loyalty to real royalty and now the WWF isn’t running on Diesel Power anymore! There’s a new source of power and King Mabel’s ruling the Federation! Ha-ha!”
“In my estimation, the WWF is absolutely still running on Diesel Power! But unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen… the rib injuries sustained by ‘Big Daddy Cool’ will mean that Diesel will be out of action for several weeks. I’m not sure when exactly we’ll see ‘Big D’ again, but I am certain that he will be right back in the hunt for the WWF Title!”
“Awh, poor Diesel! Isn’t that such a shame?” The monarch’s words are soaked in insincerity.
“And just like Sid said earlier, McMahon, now that Diesel’s gone, Shawn Michaels has nobody here to protect him! Just like his best friend at SummerSlam, Michaels is going to lose his title!”
“Shawn Michaels doesn’t need any protection, and you know it, Jerry Lawler!” Vince is having none of Lawler’s insults and fires back in a rage!
~”OH! OH, SHAWN!”~
“And here he comes NOW! Shawn is going to do it on his own and he’s going to prove you wrong! YEAH, BAY-BAY! WHAT A SHOWMAN!”
MY GOODNESS! There’s an eruption from the crowd once
“Sexy Boy” hits! And it gets even louder in the building when
SHAWN MICHAELS struts onto the stage! Always a trendsetter, the Intercontinental Champion is wearing a zebra-stripe biker cap, red heart-shaped sunglasses, dangle cross earrings and a black metal-plated vest over black tights with silver and light blue hearts.
“I thought he was hurt, Jerry Lawler? I thought that Shawn Michaels was so hurt that he was considering surrendering the Intercontinental Title to Sycho Sid? Your reliable source must work for The National Enquirer!”
“Uh… he… uh…” Lawler is at a loss for words as “HBK” gyrates and shakes his booty after entering the ring!
Knowing better than to turn his back on Sid, “The Heart Break Kid” keeps his eyes on the big man. After removing his entrance garb, Shawn takes a long look at his white strap Intercontinental belt before handing the championship over to senior referee Earl Hebner, who soon signals for the opening bell!
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MAIN EVENT!
Shawn Michaels © versus Sycho Sid (w/Ted DiBiase)
The champion is his usual braggadocios self to start, displaying oodles of confidence despite the sharp contrast in size between he and the nearly seven-foot-tall monster. Sid is all about playing head games, trying to win the mental match before the physicality begins.
Sycho Sid stares daggers through Shawn Michaels, trying to mentally break the boy toy with an icy glare. Perhaps because he has more guts than brains, “HBK“ leaps forward at Sid to begin the bout, catching the lunatic off guard. Michaels’s initial flurry of strikes have little effect on the hulking madman, and it's not long before “The Heart Break Kid“ is thrown to the canvas with a Biel Throw.
Showing incredible heart and determination, Shawn leaps right back up and peppers Sycho Sid with the best shots he can muster. The strikes are mostly ineffective but allow “HBK“ time to formulate an effective game plan that will prevent his former bodyguard from stealing his championship belt and his smile. The flamboyant Intercontinental titleholder chooses to target the legs of the giant, hoping to chop the big redwood down to his size. Despite pushback from “The Master and Ruler of the World“, Shawn pushes through, going after Sid's lower limbs with Chop Blocks and punt kicks. Exhibiting why he's part of the World Wrestling Federation's elite group of wrestlers, “The Sexy Boy“ succeeds in dropping the whack-job courtesy of a Dropkick to the legs!
His adrenaline at an all time high, the San Antonian strikes a pose, thrilling the female demographic in attendance. Despite the cocky air he emits, it's evident that “The Heart Break Kid“ is taking the encounter particularly serious. Besides the fact that his precious gold is at stake, the match also allows Shawn to gain retribution on the individual who double-crossed him five months ago, putting “HBK“ on the shelf for many weeks. With the theatrics out of his system, Michaels kicks into high gear, chaining together flying moves that weaken Sycho Sid enough for the monster to be scooped up and Body Slammed. A picture-perfect Flying Elbow Drop is the follow-up move, and the venue fills with high pitched screams as “HBK“ begins tuning up the band!
Sensing a defeat that will eternally haunt his Million Dollar Corporation,
Ted DiBiase interjects, grabbing hold of Shawn’s leg just as the fan favorite springs to deliver Sweet Chin Music. “The Heart Break Kid“ shakes his leg violently to break DiBiase's grip, but is unsuccessful, so he's forced to reach over the rope and grab the Corporation's Chief Executive Officer by his brown locks. The time Michaels spends tussling with the millionaire, though, gives Sycho Sid the opportunity to clobber the Intercontinental Champion from behind!
The distraction paying dividends, “The Million Dollar Man“ cheers on the crown jewel of his multinational corporation. Sid takes advantage, controlling the tempo of the match by slowing things down. The maniac from West Memphis employs basic offense, relying on Headlocks and wild stomps. His mind always racing, Sid is unfit to target a body part that he wants to physically dissect, so he just decimates the champ’s entire body from feet to cranium! After a series of violent Irish Whips into the buckles – including one that causes Michaels to flip inside out – the unstable monster breaks the face of “The Sexy Boy“ with a sickening Big Boot to the face!
Breaking out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, the headcase from Arkansas bellows that he will soon be WWF Intercontinental Champion! His laughter finished; Sycho Sid slowly makes the sign of the cross with his right hand before hoisting “HBK“ up. With Michaels primed for the dreaded Release Powerbomb, the nut-job shares an evil laugh with DiBiase. The six-foot-nine monster isn't laughing for long, though, as the reigning Intercontinental Champion
counters the Powerbomb with a Head Scissors, sending Sycho Sid's protruding jaw into the turnbuckle pad!
With his foe dazed, Shawn creates some distance and waits for Sid to turn around before rushing forward…
SWEET CHIN MUSIC! But it's caught! The madman of The Million Dollar Corporation holds the foot of “HBK“ in place and contorts his face in a sadistic chuckle!
After swinging Shawn Michaels around, Sid throttles the hero and elevates him with one hand for a
CHOKE SLAM! Thinking quickly, Michaels throws fruitless punches before
using his fingernails to dig in and claw on Sid's hand! The desperation tactic pays off as Sycho Sid drops “The Heart Break Kid“ for just a moment so he can nurse his aching hand.
Going back on the attack, the West Memphis monster rushes forward at Michaels who sees Sid coming…
SWEET CHIN MUSIC! “HBK” drops down and hooks the far leg of Sycho Sid with Earl Hebner administering the count – One… Two… THREE!
Winner & STILL Champion: Shawn Michaels via pinfall in 10:02
With the spotlight shining down, “The Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michaels fastens the Intercontinental Title around his waist and celebrates the victory the only way Shawn knows how – by swiveling his hips and performing a risqué striptease!
As the WWF crowd (mostly the women) go gaga over Shawn, we trail over to the ringside announce desk for a wrap up from Raw's hosts –
VINCE McMAHON and
JERRY “THE KING” LAWLER!
Vince McMahon and Jerry “The King“ Lawler
Vince McMahon: SHAWN MICHAELSSS! YEAH, BAY-BAY! You wanna talk about guts! You wanna talk about intestinal fortitude! You wanna talk about rising to the occasion! He didn’t need any help! He did it on his own!
Jerry Lawler: Alright, enough already! I know you're President of the Shawn Michaels Fan Club, but give it a rest, McMahon!
Vince McMahon: Seems like you have something on your face, Jerry Lawler... egg that is! Shawn Michaels, still the WWF Intercontinental Champion, still the epitome of what the New WWF Generation is all about! Oh, yes!
Lawler lowers his eyebrows and curls his lip, reacting like a petulant child to Michaels’s title retention.
Vince McMahon: Ladies and gentlemen, we've had a lot of fun here tonight – perhaps me more than “The King“ – and we're going to have even more next week! Because next week on Raw, we will see WWF Tag Team Champions Owen Hart and the six-hundred and forty-pound Yokozuna defend their titles against Billy and Bart – The Smoking Gunns!
Now that the topic has changed, “The King” gets some of his royal pep back.
Jerry Lawler: Speaking of champions, McMahon, let's talk about the biggest champion of them all – in more ways than one! Joining us next week on Raw for a special interview is the brand-new World Wrestling Federation Champion – King Mabel! I can't wait to hear what a fellow king has to say. I wonder how he'll rule the WWF, McMahon. Will he rule with an iron fist? Maybe he'll have you sent to the guillotine!
Lawler’s eyes go wide while Vince looks absolutely horrified at the thought.
Vince McMahon: I would suggest that King Mabel keep his attention focused on the man who will be challenging him for the WWF Title at In Your House, that being Bret Hart!
Back to pouting for Jerry at the mere mention of his mortal enemy.
Vince McMahon: And speaking of Bret Hart, “The Hitman“ will be live via satellite this weekend on Superstars to deliver some comments ahead of the championship match! Also on the program, the man out to make a difference – Fatu – in action! And “The Portuguese Man O’ War“ Aldo Montoya faces “Native American“ Tatanka! That's all the time we have for now! So long, everybody! |
