Nick Vs Jono
Some weak shots by Jono. Jonathan uses some crappy looking kicks. Jonathan hits a weak elbow on Nick. Nick gets hip tossed by Jono. Nick counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Nick suplexes Jono to the canvas. Powerslam from Nick on Jono. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jonathan avoids a Nick avalanche. Jono, chanelling the power of Takada, hits a high kick on Nick. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy tornado punch from Jonathan, Nick barely got hit. Pin, but Nick is out just before the three count. Nick kicks Jonathan in the gut to reverse the momentum. Chop by Nick on Jono. Jono counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Flying dropkick from Jono on Nick. Nick can barely stand. Here it comes - Thread Closed. 1....2...3, it's finished. Jonathan is still in the ring celebrating. Nick pushes the referee away. Nick spins Jono around. Nick hits the Leg Drop! MY EYES! MY EYES! I may go blind from watching such a display of world-beating crapness. There aren't enough red-hot pokers in the world for me to jam up the bookers' collective asses in order to rate this absolute shocker. I can only hope the tape gets erased so future generations won't have to suffer.
Brent and ????? Vs Twerk Squad!
Brent: MY TAG TEAM PARTNER BROTHER!
*Adam Aries walks out and shakes hands with Brent, They walk to the ring*
*Twerk Squad come out! Jenn twerks and Dat Kid hits Das A$$*
Adam Aries uses some crappy looking kicks. Throat thrust from AA. Smell the talent. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Brent Nixon. Adam Aries scoops up Jenn. Brent bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Brent Nixon attacks with some poorly executed flying moves. Jennifer powers out of a Brent Nixon headlock. Jennifer scores with a face jam on Brent Nixon. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Dat Kid. Dat Kid hits a sloppy bulldog off the ropes. Pin, but Brent is out just before the three count. Dropkick from Kid. Eric Bischoff would probably call that a 'high double drop calf kick'. But it's a dropkick to everyone else. Brent blocks the suplex attempt. Kid takes a weak clothesline. Tag to Adam Aries. AA hits a weak kick. Tag between Dat Kid and Jennifer. Chop by AA on Jenn. Chaos reigns as everyone winds up brawling on the outside! The referee stays in the safety of the ring, and does a ten count, ending the match in a draw. The fight has started up again! sWo attacks Twerk Squad, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting. MY EYES! MY EYES! I may go blind from watching such a display of world-beating crapness. There aren't enough red-hot pokers in the world for me to jam up the bookers' collective asses in order to rate this absolute shocker. I can only hope the tape gets erased so future generations won't have to suffer.
Shadoxicity Vs DKJAmes
Shadow tastes a spinning neckbreaker from DJK. DKJames hits an irish whip into a shopping cart. Kick to the gut from DJK, who couldn't even execute that properly. DJK hits an arm drag on Shadow. Shadoxicity fights out of a grapple. Shadow hits DJK with a plastic dinosaur. Shadoxicity DDTs DJK, poorly executed. There's a two count on the pin. DJK backdrops Shadoxicity out of a piledriver attempt. Badly executed second rope splash by DJK. Hooks the leg for a two count. DKJames with an enziguri, although the late Owen Hart's version was far superior. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Shadow counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. DJK takes a chop from Shadow. DJK backdrops Shadoxicity out of a piledriver attempt. Kick to the gut from DJK, who couldn't even execute that properly. Shadoxicity can barely stand. Patriot Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! MY EYES! MY EYES! I may go blind from watching such a display of world-beating crapness. There aren't enough red-hot pokers in the world for me to jam up the bookers' collective asses in order to rate this absolute shocker. I can only hope the tape gets erased so future generations won't have to suffer.
Senhor Vs Jacob
Weak kick from Senhor. Senhor Perfect hits some weak-looking punches. Senhor Perfect slams Jacob down. Jacob Colton gets hip tossed by Senhor. Jacob backdrops Senhor Perfect out of a piledriver attempt. Senhor Perfect gets hip tossed by Jacob. Jacob Colton hits a crap missile dropkick on Senhor. Hooks the leg for a two count. Senhor pushes out of a Jacob Colton hold. Senhor Perfect DDTs Jacob, poorly executed. Cover for a two count. Senhor Perfect scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Pin, but Jacob is out just before the three count. Jacob counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Senhor takes a snap suplex from Jacob Colton. Jacob Colton misses a clothesline. Senhor Perfect strikes Jacob Colton. Jacob Colton is in trouble. Here it comes - PErfect-Plex. 1....2...3, it's finished. MY EYES! MY EYES! I may go blind from watching such a display of world-beating crapness. There aren't enough red-hot pokers in the world for me to jam up the bookers' collective asses in order to rate this absolute shocker. I can only hope the tape gets erased so future generations won't have to suffer
Battle Royale
Chop by Senhor on Kid. Senhor Perfect attacks with some poorly executed flying moves. Sluggish brawling from Jacob. Jacob threw Shadoxicity over the top rope. (Elimination # 1) Brent takes a second rope chop from Kid. Brent Nixon was eliminated by Kid. (Elimination # 2) Kick to the gut from Jacob, who couldn't even execute that properly. Jacob threw Jennifer over the top rope. (Elimination # 3) Adam Aries punches away at Jacob Colton. Jacob Colton got bundled out by AA. (Elimination # 4) Some weak shots by Senhor. Dat Kid was eliminated by Senhor. (Elimination # 5) Punch by DJK, missing AA by a good six inches. DJK tried to get Adam Aries over the top rope, but Gravity made the save. DKJ and AA brawl for a bit, AA throws DKJ out, Senhor runs at AA, He pulls down the top rope, Bye Bye Senhor! (Elimination 6 and 7) Jenn and Dat Kid hit Twerk It on AA, They try to throw AA out but AA reverses and sends away Jenn, Dat Kid and AA brawl a bit more, Dat Kid is about to be thrown out, Dat Kid is gone, AA believes he has won but this is a TEN MAN BATTLE ROYALE, Where is the last man?
OH HELL NO!!!!!!
*Gohan runs down the ramp, He clotheslines AA down, He throws him over the top AA hangs on, HERE IT COMES! HE HIT OH HELL NO!, AA IS OUT! GOHAN IS THE WWEFORUMS CHAMPION!
*Gohan is handed the title, He marks in his CM Punk shirt and hat*
