WWE Raw, Smackdown & PPV's 2003

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 02/24/2003
Toronto, Canada

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Lance Storm
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

A really banged up Eric Bischoff limps down to the ring, he had his arm in a sling, two black eyes and a fat lip Bischoff says despite what Steve Austin tried to do to him last night, he's still standing. Bischoff announces that he has banned Steve Austin from the building tonight, and then makes a 20-man over-the-top-rope battle royal for a Wrestlemania World title shot. He says that if Austin shows up, that he'll be met with Bischoff's "personal welcoming committee†But the real reason Austin also isn't here this week, because Eric wants the spotlight on a bigger star, and the biggest star in the history of wrestling.

[video=youtube;9PglAZUbzVI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PglAZUbzVI[/video]
Arguably the great heel promo in Raw history​

Jacqueline vs. Jazz
Victoria & Steven Richards join Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler on commentary, Victoria claims that Jazz might be a bitch, but she's a PSYCHO BITCH! This was like 2 minutes long and pretty uneventful. Jazz gets the half-crab but turns it into the STF and forces Jacque to tap. Post-Match: Jazz gets on the mic and says the bitch is back, Suddenly Trish Stratus makes her return attacking Jazz and lays the punches on her. Victoria runs down to the ring and Trish kicks her in the head. Jazz/Trish continues the brawl until officials pull them apart.

Backstage: Footage of Test in Gainesville for "Girls Gone Wild" picking the finalists. Stacy got Test a job with a company called GGW, but it turned out that was Girls Gone Wild. Stacy did not know it was Girls Gone Wild. Test is bragging to Maven how fun it was to do the Girls Gone Wild gig; Stacy is upset with him and claims he went too far. They argue, and Morley comes up and says they better get along, and books Jericho/Christian vs. Test/Stacy tonight as punishment for Test being in the crowd of people laughing at Bischoff last week.

Jim Ross interviews Goldust; Jim Ross asks Goldust how he is after his electrocution. Goldust says that with this injury, you either die or live. Jim Ross says that there could be a lot of neurological issues with this injury and Goldust talks about how he’s coming back but in the middle he begins to stutter and twitching Goldust says that he hopes it will have the opportunity to work itself out. He says he's going to come back as soon as he can and get revenge on Orton and Batista.

Kane (w/Rob Van Dam) vs. Lance Storm (w/William Regal)
More of filler match then anything, Lance got like 2 moves in that weren’t punches or kicks and that’s about it. Oh but I did like they play they did off the match from last night, Lance tries to twist Kane's mask again, but it just pisses Kane off and Kane kills him with a chokeslam for the win.

Backstage: Orton & Batista talk about Steve Austin's return not being such a big deal, Orton says that the real big deal is that he's making his in-ring return tonight. Ric Flair comes in and says Triple H took it to a whole new level at No Way Out, and they have to keep it going. They have to show the world what the Evolution is made of.

Booker T & Scott Steiner vs. Randy Orton & Batista (w/ Ric Flair)
Just like last night Toronto is all over Scotty tonight, Booker hammers on Orton to start and gets a sidekick and sideslam for two. He chops away and forearms Orton down, but Flair trips him up which Steiner takes acceptation to and starts to run after Flair all the way up the ramp. That allows Batista to get to hit a HUGE Spinebuster on Booker. Batista hammers on Booker for a bit before tagging in Orton who powerslams Booker for two. Booker begins to comeback solo, but Flair’s interference allows them to drag Booker back to the corner for a Batista to apply a bearhug. Orton hits the chinlock but Booker escapes and hits him with the axe kick. Superkick for Batista and Flair AGAIN allows them to cut off the tag. Suddenly Scotty makes a re-appearance and begins to hammers on everyone, drawing no love from the crowd. Batista gets rid of him and spears Booker; Orton goes up with the bodypress, which Booker rolls through for the win. **1/2

Test & Stacy Keibler vs. Chris Jericho & Christian
Stacy comes out wearing a sexy low cut Toronto Maple Leafs jersey to suck up to the crowd, if only she was a heel and worse a Boston Bruins jersey I would appreciate it. Jericho pulls Stacy off the apron, banging her head on the edge of the ring. Jericho & Christian double-team Test with a steal chair for a DQ. Post-Match: Christian hits Test with the Unprettier, and they handcuff Test to the middle rope. They put Stacy in the Walls of Jericho, and Test can't save. Jeff Hardy runs out, but Christian cuts him off Christian hits the Unprettier, and Jericho keeps the hold on. Shawn Michaels runs out, and Jericho bails. Christian gets the Sweet Chin Music, and Michaels helps Test out of the handcuffs.

Back from the commercial break, Jeff is getting up and Chris Nowinski comes out, and says, "WAY TO GO, SIR LANCELOT!" He says Jeff failed again, but he's used to that by now, being a failure. Jeff hits him with the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb and covers him for a win. Post-Match: Jeff continues to beat on Chris so the ref reverses the decision. Jeff then chances Chris to the back

Backstage: The Rock is on the phone and says if Austin didn't like what he said; he could come to Raw next week and say something. Rock hangs up and mutters about not being worried about Stone Cold Steve Austin. Rock picks up a guitar and sings a song, about how Canada can kiss his ass. Hurricane comes in and says that Rock used to be loved by millions and millions but now the Rock trashed the people, what's up wit dat? Rock asks, who in the green hell he is? but says with the green suit, the mask, and the H on his chest, he's The Hamburgler. Rock says he's kidding, but says Hurricane ain't nothing and every superhero can whip that ass. Hurricane says he can definitely beat one hero and that’s the Scorpion King! Hurricane says if Brendan Fraser can, so can he, but Rock says that was a special effect. Hurricane asks if Rock can fly, and Rock says of course he can. Hurricane says that's good, because he'll send his ass flying over the top rope in that battle royal. The first of many promos together

No Disqualification Match: Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morley
Some stuff happens for a bit, I didn’t care for it at all. The match ends when Morley hits the money shot on the King, but refuses to cover him. He goes out and gets a chair, but the referee kicks it out of the ring. Hebner and Morley keep arguing, and the suspended Dudley Boyz come from the crowd and hit a 3D on Morley. Lawler hits the fist drop to win.

#1 Contender's Match for the World Heavyweight Championship/Winner goes on to face Triple H at WrestleMania 19 - 20 Man Battle Royal
Chris Jericho, 3MW, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Maven, Test, Christian, Scott Steiner, Booker T, Steven Richards, Randy Orton, Batista, The Hurricane, Lance Storm, Al Snow, Tommy Dreamer, Rodney Mack, Jeff Hardy, and The Rock are all the wrestlers involved in this. Jericho and Christian throw Test out, and he comes back in to toss Jericho. Jericho bails through the crowd as Test chases. RVD hits a Flying Sidekick to Jamal on the apron, and he takes an epic bump to the floor to be eliminated. Rock throws Tommy and Maven in quick succession. Steiner throws Steven out. Orton throws RVD into Batista's arms, and he hurls RVD out. Batista throws Snow, and Hurricane Hip Tosses Rodney Mack out. Hurricane vs. Rock rules briefly, but Rock gets a low blow, and throws Hurricane out. Rock walks up the ramp to do commentary and says he's too smart for this, and will wait. Orton throws out Jeff Hardy, and Steiner throws Orton out, but then Batista throws Scott out, and Batista turns around into a clothesline from Booker, and he's out too! Booker, Lance, Rosey, Christian, and Kane are in the ring, and Rock is on commentary. Kane throws Rosey and Lance, and after Booker is Chokeslammed, Rock comes back down. He runs from behind, and shoves Kane and Christian out! Rock beats on Booker and mocks him, and he tries a whip him into the ropes but Booker reverses him and throws the Rock out. OH SHIT!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 02/27/2003
London Ontario, Canada

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Vince McMahon comes out and says he has some good and bad news, the bad news is that the Rock will not be appearing tonight because has switched to Raw. But the good news is that Hulk Hogan also WILL NOT be here tonight. He says Hogan is a coward and afraid of him. He brags about screwing Hogan at No Way Out, and says the footage will be shown later tonight, because he's so proud of it. Vince says that tonight it is official, Hulkamania is DEAD! And there is a new "mania" McMahonamania!

Jamie Noble & Nidia vs. Funaki & Torrie Wilson
Torrie is looking droll good as always, I just want a sample of dat ass and to smoother dat rack. Noble and Funaki are us off with some back and forth mat work until Noble hits a beautiful neckbreaker on Funaki. Noble beats on Funaki for a while then tags in Nidia. Nidia hits a legdrop on Funaki! She follows that up with a double stop to the chest before tagging Knoble back in, he goes for the tiger driver but Funaki counters with a slingshot right into Nidia. That allows Funaki to hit a running bulldog and then connects with a tornado DDT but Noble. Double clothesline and both men are down. Noble makes the tag and Nidia heads to the top! Big splash misses. Which allows Funaki to tag in Torrie, Torrie takes Nidia down with a Russian legsweep and slaps Noble until he slams her. Funaki baseball slides Noble to the outside and then lands a plancha! Dawn Marie shows up but Torrie rolls Nidia up with a schoolgirl for the win. **

Steph comes out and teases that she would be the one appearing in Playboy, but pulls back. She then announces that Torrie Wilson will be posing in Playboy next month. GOOD TIMES!

Steph & Torrie talk about the Playboy photo shoot as well as the her being on Girls Gone Wild, Brian Kendrick steps up and apologizes to Steph for the whole streaking thing. He says that he was only trying to make an impact to get a job on Smackdown he then says he wants a match with WWE champion Kurt Angle to prove his worth. Steph says that if Brian can last five minutes with Kurt Angle then he will get hired.

Eddie Guerrero (w/Chavo Guerrero) vs. Nunzio (w/Palumbo & Stamboli)
This didn’t get much time but it was enough to make it enjoyable, Eddie looked like he was having a blast in the ring. Good bumping and a fiery comeback, the match ends when Eddie counters an electric chair attempt into a T-Bone suplex he heads up top for a frog splash but Nuzio moves out of the way but Eddie twists in mid-air and lands a rolling senton. Nuzio runs over and rolls Eddie up, but Eddie counters and grabs the tights for the win. Post-Match: The FBI attacks Eddie & Chavo, but Rikishi runs down to save. **1/2

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon calls Paul Heyman into her office, and says since Kurt pulled a fast one last week by naming his own stipulation; Brock Lesnar was given the choice to name a stipulation for this week. If Brock wins tonight, he gets to wrestle any member of Team Angle next week in a steel cage. Heyman says that's not fair, since Brock will choose Kurt, jeopardizing the WrestleMania main event, and Stephanie says life isn't fair.

Backstage: Chris Benoit talks to Brock Lesnar about how they both know Team Angle took out Edge, and Benoit says Edge is out for a whole year and will have neck surgery now. Benoit says Brock has to win tonight, by any means necessary, an in a cage, he can do to one of them what they did to Edge. Brock says he'll win, and asks Benoit why he isn't more concerned about Team Angle going after him next. Benoit says he's counting on it, and isn't the only one with back up. He opens a door and looks inside, and says he'll see them in the ring.

Chris Benoit & Mystery Partner vs. Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
Mattitude entrance says “Matt's pants are a size 34 in the waist, Matt thinks sweet potatoes are delicious†Matt talks about winning the Cruiserweight title and his match tonight, and says that Edge's injury is unfortunate. But if Edge followed the era of Mattitude then he wouldn't have suffered a "twist of fate" Chris Benoit makes his was and reveals his tag partner is…….. RHYNO! WIN! Benoit grabs Shannon and whips him right into a waiting Rhyno who kills him with a lariat. Rhyno hits a sweet shoulder block GORE in the corner on Shannon and makes the tag to Benoit. Benoit comes in and back elbows Shannon and hits him with a snap suplex. Matt trips Benoit up allowing Shannon Moore to work over Chris Benoit, Matt in now and he nails Benoit with the Side Effect for 2. Matt hits the middle rope legdrop and tags Shannon in who works over Benoit. Matt and Shannon double team with some poetry in motion but Shannon misses. Allowing Benoit to HOT tag to Rhyno! Huge clothesline to Shannon and one for Matt, SPINEBUSTER on Matt. Shannon tries some weird looking move but Rhyno kills him with a powerslams. Benoit climbs the top and hits the diving Headbutt on Shannon. Rhyno heads to the corner and kills Matt with a GORE! For the win. **1/2 - **3/4

The Undertaker comes out down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says that he's heard that A-Train is trying to get the Undertaker's attention. Well on Sunday, A-Train now has his attention. And it's time to SHUT UP... AND FIGHT! A-Train and Paul Heyman comes out to the stage, Paul Heyman says that Undertaker used an ILLEGAL chokehold on Big Show at No Way Out and that he is officially A-Train's exclusive Agent and as he's the Agent of Kurt Angle, Team Angle & the Big Show. The Big Show comes out and joins A-Train & A-Train walking down to ringside and surrounding Taker. A-Train & Big Show gets in the ring and Undertaker fights them off as best as he can but they overpower him. Suddenly Nathan Jones runs down and makes the save for the Undertaker. OH SHIT! I get footage of Smackdown while it’s on a commercial break and Taker and Jones just stand in the ring for a while. Show and A-Train come back out, Heyman says you wanna go. OH SHIT! They redid the spin kick spot. Classic WWE!

Rikishi vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/ FBI)
FBI interferes and lays out Rikishi for a DQ.

John Cena cuts another one of his RAPS! The best line was “I'm the great white hope; you're the great white hype. If you're an animal, I'm going on safari, I'm rocking PlayStation 2, you can't figure out Atariâ€

Five Minute Challenge: Kurt Angle vs. Brian Kendrick
Angle gets in the amateur down position and lets Kendrick try and take him down, Kendrick tries everything until Angle gets bored and takes him down to add insult. Angle slaps Kendrick in the head a few times then lets up and backs off. Angle gives the Kendrick another shot, only this time Kendrick
does the smart thing and kicks Kurt in the face. Well this pisses Kurt off so he catches Kendrick and kills him with a belly to belly. Angle continues to pounds Kendrick in the corner and then bitch slaps him over the top rope Angle rolls him back in and grabs the ankle lock, only to let off. Kendrick gets backs to his feet and ducks a clothesline and starts a comeback with rights and lefts connecting with Kurt. Angle takes the him out with a knee lift, and goes for the Angle Slam but he just drops the Kendrick to the mat, wanting to punish him some more. Kurt looks for more punishment but Kendrick comes back with a facebuster for 2. ENZUIGIRI! For another 2, Angle charges in but Kendrick moves and Kendrick hits the slice bread but Kurt throws him off and kills him with a lariat. Kendrick fights back again but Kurt gets a knee lift and connects with an Angle Slams for the win with only 2 seconds left. Post-Match: Kurt helps Kendrick up and says he's got guts. He holds up Brian's arm, before clotheslining him down. He says this is for Brock, and beats the shit out of Kendrick on the floor. Kurt finishes Kendrick off by hitting him with an F-5. **3/4

Sylvan Grenier AKA the referee from No Way Out during Rock/Hogan II comes out, he starts talking in French, but changes to English. Sylvan introduces the footage of Rock/Hogan at No Way Out and we watch the final 4/5 minutes.

Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle (w/Paul Heyman & Kurt Angle)
More funess between Team Angle and Brock, Brock pretty much beat on both Shelton and Haas until a Kurt interference allowed them to take over on Brock. The amount of times Kurt and Heyman got cheap shots in on Brock on the outside was great, but you know what’s even better is Brock bumping like he’s in the Cruiserweight division. He’s just a one in million guy when he’s in the ring, it’s just magical. Brock’s comeback was sweet too and Team Angle pays him the respect by bumping for him like champs. The match ends when Team Angle hits the AWESOME SUPERKICK/GERMAN SUPLEX combo. But Brock kicks out at two. Brock makes a quick comeback and tries and F-5 on Haas but Benjamin pulls Haas down. Haas gets dumped to the floor and Shelton gets killed with an F-5 for the win. Post-Match: Team Angle try and get the jump on Brock, but Brock gets his hands on Paul Heyman. He sets him up for the F-5 but Kurt runs in and saves him. Brock gets on the mic and says he just beat Team Angle AGAIN! And now he can now face any member of Kurt's TEAM next week in a steel cage. Well he already has Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania, so he picks PAUL HEYMAN! OH SHIT! **3/4

[video=youtube;9x7kicvHdkE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x7kicvHdkE[/video]​

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 03/03/2003
Long Island, NY

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Lance Storm
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

Raw opens with Eric Bischoff & Three Minute Warning with Rico in the parking lot, he tells them to make Austin feel as welcomed as he made Eric feel at No Way Out, and Eric says he wants this to be Steve Austin's last Raw.

Booker T comes down to the ring, and he gets on the mic. He says last week he won the battle royal, but he didn’t get a trip to Disneyland. But he won a trip to WrestleMania. Suddenly, Triple H's music hits, he and Ric Flair come down to the ring. Triple H looks Booker up and down, and chuckles as he gets on the mic. He says Booker is confused about his role here, and says "People like 'you' don't become World Champion" He says Booker isn't here to be a competitor, he's here to be an entertainer, and entertains him all the time. COME ON, DO A LITTLE DANCE FOR ME BOOK! ONE OF THOSE SPINAROONIS! COME ON, BOOK, DANCE! Triple H says that Booker T is in the WWE to make people like him laugh, don’t be embarrassed. Triple H says he's great at it with the nappy hair, suckaaaaaaaas, and says he laughed all week long at Booker being #1 Contendership battle royal. Triple H then goes on to say by the time Booker won the WCW Title, that place was a joke. Wasn’t that the era that David Arquette & Vince Russo were world champions, Triple H says that Booker had his moment last week, but now he has to fight THE greatest wrestler alive today, and Booker T will do what he does best at Wrestlemania, and that is LOSE! Booker T says that some of that might be true, but he's still going to Wrestlemania and that he'll take the World title from Triple H. Triple H snickers and gives him a condescending “good luck†in his match against Steiner tonight.

In the parking lot, Three Minute Warning with Rico are still waiting for Austin, they realize that they are wide open and when Austin arrives he’ll see them coming so they decide to split up and hide behind cars.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christian
Jeff is in full sloppy, I don’t give a fuck mode here. Christian drags him pretty much though all of this. And most of the botches had me in stiches. The match ends when Christian counters the Twist of Fate and hits the Unprettier for the win. *3/4

Backstage: Eric Bischoff gives Lance Storm a bat, and tells him that he and Chief Morley are the second line of defence against Steve Austin. Storm says that if Stone Cold Steve Austin makes it this far, he'll have a warm welcome.


Chief Morley vs. Spike Dudley
Before the match, Morley gets on the mic and says if Spike can beat him tonight, then the Dudley Boyz will be reinstated. But if Bubba or D-Von interferes, then they'll be suspended indefinitely. This was pretty much a basic meh! Squash that didn’t get Morley any heat. He wins with the money shot.

Backstage: Christian and Chris Jericho are talking, Christian brags about his performance against tonight with Jeff Hardy. Chris Jericho says he has a little surprise for Test later. Eric Bischoff enters comes over he wants Jericho & Christian to be the 3rd line of defence against Austin.

Trish Stratus & Jacqueline vs. Jazz & Victoria (w/Steven Richards)
This was solid; I did really enjoy the Jazz/Victoria beating on Trish portion with Trish show all heart and willingness to never stay down. Trish got a roll up on Victoria to win.

[video=youtube;wD-pc2ptIYI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD-pc2ptIYI[/video]​

Chris Jericho comes down to the ring and says he has a heartfelt apology for Stacy tonight. He says that he's sorry that Stacy hooker up with an idiot like Test, Jericho shows some "Girls Gone Wild" footage of Test signing several girls’ breasts. Backstage, Stacy is mad and Test keeps yelling that this was her idea, and he's so sick of this. He orders her to stay in the back.

Chris Jericho vs. Test
Like 30 seconds into the match, Christian bullies Stacy out to the ringside area. Test attacks Christian, allowing Jericho to take over for a bit. The match ends when Jericho uses the ref to stop the big boot, and Christian sneaks in with a DDT that gets two for Jericho, while the ref is distracted again Jericho hits a low blow on Test and the Sleeper Slam to win. Post-Match: Jericho and Christian roll Stacy in the ring. They set up the Con-chair-to, but Test shoves her away, and killed instead. Shawn Michaels runs down to save, and hits Christian with the Sweet Chin Music. He turns right into a chair shot from Jericho and Shawn is busted open. Jericho taunts him, and says he wants to end Shawn's career at WrestleMania. *1/2

Backstage: Three Minute Warning & Rico charge and approaching limousine thinking it’s Austin. C’MON! Now have these guys never watched WWE before, Austin in a limo. Goldust gets out of the limo twitching and all looking for Booker T.

Booker T vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner chops away to start, but Booker gets a spinning leg lariat and hits him with a knee. Spinkick is blocked by Steiner and he gets the belly-to-belly and kicks away. Booker fires back and nails him with a Clothesline and sidekick get two. Booker gets more chops and a sidekick, but Steiner stops the Spinarooni. Steiner Recliner and Hunter comes down to the ring, prompting Steiner to release it. Booker gets his rollup out of nowhere for the win. **1/4

Backstage: The Rock sings a song about how Long Island sucks; The Rock tells Eric that if someone gets to Austin before him, that makes The Rock look bad, which makes The Rock unhappy, and they both know that's not a good option. He says to get rid of all this welcoming committee stuff, and just let Austin come into the ring and confront him, because they know The Rock can whip that ass.

Hardcore Match: Kane & Rob Van Dam vs. Tommy Dreamer & Al Snow
This was some weird filler match had to the normal, trash can/lid spots. IDK why they are having a face vs. face team but I guess it's because both Orton/Batista got injured on house show RIP Evolution till July and Regal has a concussion from the NoWayOut match.

In the parking lot, Eric Bischoff, Three Minute Warning, Jericho, Christian, Storm & Morley see Austin's truck pulling into the arena, Austin speeds towards them nearing running them over. Austin jumped out of the truck with a tire iron as Bischoff calms down them down.

Steve Austin comes down to the ring, and he gets on the mic. He says thank you to the fans, that he appreciates their support when he told Vince McMahon to "take this job and shove it" he got tired of sitting on his ass at his house, so now he's back and he's brought a big fan can of whoopass! Austin says he's gonna spread it all over every one of the superstars in the dressing room, he's gonna raise more hell in that ring than he ever has before. Suddenly, the Rock's music hits, and out comes the Rock to the stage. The Rock says how good it is to see "Steve" again and asks why Austin is thanking the fans? Because “when Austin becomes successful like The Rock, not like he is now they'll turn on him just like that†The crowd boooo’s and Rock drops the line “YOU WANNA BOO THE ROCK? IT'S NOT THE ROCK'S FAULT YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CLASS TO LIVE IN MANHATTAN!†Rock says he's done everything in the WWE, but ONE thing “whoop that bald headed candy ass†at WrestleMania! He says it'll be the man who changed Monday Night wrestling, the biggest star of the era, and the man who everyone came to see tonight...and that man will face Austin at Mania, if Austin accepts. Suddenly, Eric Bischoff & Chief Morley come out and joins the Rock on the stage, Eric books Rock vs. Booker T next week. He says Rock deserves options, so if he wins that match, he can choose to face Austin or choose to face H for the World Title. Bischoff says that this show is running a little long...SAY...3 MINUTES TOO LONG! Rosey, Jamal & Rico run down to the ring where Austin makes quick work of them. Rock runs down and goes nose-to-nose with Austin in the canter of the ring, and Rock backs up. He tries a cheap shot, and they both avoid finishers. Rock shoves Austin off the Stunner, and slides out. Rock backs up the ramp to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 03/06/2003
Bridgeport, CT

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

#1 Contender's Match for the Cruiserweight Championship/Winner goes on to face Matt Hardy at WrestleMania: Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble
Fuckin’ AWESOME! 5 minute chaotic spot fest, all three men bump like crazy during it and each man gets at least a minute of showcase action. Tajiri quickly backdrops Noble for two, Tajiri comes in and kicks Rey in the face for two. Tajiri suplexes Noble for two, Rey hits a moonsault on Tajiri for two. They slug it out and Rey springboards with a body block both men for two. Handspring elbow hits Noble for two. Noble sends him into the post and tosses Rey out, he takes Tajiri down with a Herb Kunze armbar but Tajiri makes it to the ropes. Tajiri puts Rey on top, but Noble intercepts and they do the triple-superplex spot, and everyone is out. Noble covers Tajiri for two, and then Rey for two. Powerslam on Tajiri gets two. He charges and runs into the Tarantula and the sick Kick that gets a close two. Rey hits Noble with a 619 out of nowhere, allowing Tajiri to cover. Rey breaks it up with a legdrop for two. He dropkicks Noble off the apron, and hits him with another 619, but gets kicked in mid-air by Tajiri while trying the West Coast Pop More back and forth and Rey manages to rolls up Tajiri for the win. ***

RIP The Latino heat music and hello “"Lie, Cheat, & Steal" theme

Los Guerrero’s vs. The FBI (w/ Nunzio)
Total Guerrero’s carry job here, they bumped all over for the FBI and somewhat made them look decent enough. The match ends when Eddie hits a frog splash and Chavo covers for the win. Post-Match: The FBI attacks the Guerrero’s. *3/4

Backstage: Paul Heyman stressing out over his match with Brock Lesnar in a steel cage, Big Show assures Heyman that they have his back tonight. Kurt Angle says that being the WWE Champion, he has some stroke with Stephanie McMahon.

Backstage: Paul Heyman requests that Stephanie add a stipulation to his steel cage match, but she refuses. Heyman then drops to his knees and begs to be taken out of the match, Kurt tells Heyman to leave and let a real man handle this situation. He starts to flirt with Stephanie, even bringing up the past. WHAT A GUY! She says that this is a time for business; she then gets angry when he insults her intelligence. Steph says that if Brock beats Heyman in the cage, he'll get a title shot next week against Angle.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy (w/ Shannon Moore)
Mattitude.com entrance says “Matt enjoys looking at pictures in Playboy, Matt considers himself a sex symbol†Everything Matt was doing during his control segment was great, he worked the head softening him up for the twist of fate. But then the match goes downhill when Kidman has this weak ass comeback no-selling the head, weird cause I feel I type this every week. But if fuckin’ Brock can sell everything that happens to him I fail to see why Kidman can’t. This guy needs to fuckin’ retire ASAP! Oh wait I just realized why he doesn’t sell, cause he’s dating Torrie Wilson around this time and doesn’t want to appear weak, what a guy. NOT! Anyway Matt wins after hitting the twist of fate that Kidman botches the landing by landing on his forearms and his head doesn’t even connect with the mat. But that’s not even the worse part, Matt went to hit the side effect but Kidman sandbagged it so it looked like Matt hit a Rock bottom, thankfully Matt would pick him up and connect the 2nd time. FUCK THIS KIDMAN GUY! ALSO FUCK SHANNON MOORE, JUST BECAUSE! **1/2

Footage of Torrie shooting the Playboy cover airs. FUCK YOU BILLY KIDMAN!

Josh Mathew’s interviews Nidia; Josh plays footage of Nidia visiting the Playboy mansion. Nidia is stopped by security, she tells the security to tell Hugh to watch Girls Gone Wild next week and she'll give Hugh "two reasons" why he should have picked her for Playboy. Nidia challenges Torrie to a "body" contest at Girls Gone Wild PPV! Nidia shows Josh her breasts.

Hulk Hogan comes down, and he gets on the mic, he says he heard what Vince said last week, but Hulkamania isn't going anywhere just yet. And there’s an issue between he and Vince that goes back 20 years. He calls Vince out to settle this score for good, like a man. Suddenly, Vince's music hit and he comes and says he can't believe Hulk would call him out after everything he's done for him. Hogan isn't a man, but he will settle this. He says Hogan is a shell of a man, and says that after all he's done for Hogan, Hulk tells Vince to SHUT THE HELL UP! Hogan says Vince didn't create Hulkamania, Hulkamania was a success because of all the Hulkamaniacs. Hogan says that Hulkamania lives IN SPITE of Vince and that Vince knows Hulkamania helped build the company to what it is today and that everything Vince and his kids have are all because of Hulkamania Vince says that he could have had anybody "play the part" of "Hulk Hogan" Hulk says that nobody could have ran as hard as he did at the time, and if Vince thinks someone else would do that than he's a "delusional bastard" Hulk challenges Vince to prove his manhood by getting into the ring with him tonight. Vince says that there is no chance in hell of that happening and that he doesn't "hate" Hulkamania or the Hulkamaniacs, but he HATES Hulk Hogan. He hates Hulk Hogan because he created him and Hulk Hogan went to WCW. Vince says Hulk Hogan and WCW tried to put him out of business, Vince even brings up Hulk Hogan testified against him in the steroid trial in front of a federal court. OH SHIT! Hulk says that it was his testimony that kept Vince out of prison. Vince says that his family gave Hulk Hogan his name, and his first break AND he plucked Hulk Hogan out of a "little town" in Minnesota, AND made Hulk Hogan a piece of the fabric of Americana. Vince says that Hulk Hogan is in for a fight at Wrestlemania (another Vince creation) when Hogan loses, he has to retire from wrestling forever. Vince says that he created Hulkamania, and at Wrestlemania he's gonna kill it. Hulk says that he's been waiting for this all his life, he tells Vince to start Training, eating his Vitamins, and saying his prayers.

Earlier tonight, Undertaker had a sparring session with Nathan Jones. Jones thanks Taker for being a man of his word, and training him after he got out of prison

The Undertaker (w/ Nathan Jones) vs. A-Train (w/ The Big Show)
4 minutes of a brutal slugfeast action, but it wasn’t on the level of their first match or even on the SSlam level. Taker’s bumping here was pretty damn good. I swear that time he took off he and watched his watches from 2000/2001/2002 and realized how bad he was, ‘cause since his returned he’s stepped up and become b lovable again. The match ends when Show and Nathan start fighting in the ring too, and the ref throws the match out. **1/4

Backstage: Stephanie throws Big Show & A-Train out of the arena

Team Angle vs. Rhyno & Chris Benoit
This match is non-title, Benoit and Benjamin start us off and they exchange some mat work before Benoit applies a hammerlock. Benoit rolls Benjamin to the mat from the hammerlock for two. Haas tries to come in to stop the assault but Rhyno also comes in and cuts him off. Rhyno hits a belly to belly on Haas and starts kicking away at Haas in the corner. Benoit takes Haas down with a Northern Lights suplex for 2. Benjamin comes back in and he and Benoit work the mat again. Benoit tries to go back to the hammerlock but Shelton sneaks a tag to Haas who takes Benoit down from behind. Haas sends Benoit into the corner and charges, but Benoit gets the boot up. Benoit charges but Haas hits a quick power slam and that allows Team Angle to take control, for the time being. But Benoit is showing a ton of heart and continues to fights hit way back and finally makes the hot tag to Rhyno. Rhyno clears the ring of Haas and belly to belly suplexes Benjamin, Rhyno sets up for the GORE! But Haas cuts him off and allows Benjamin to nail Rhyno with a super kick. Benjamin slaps on a reverse chinlock on Rhyno as we go to a commercial break. Shelton and Haas are in control as Rhyno tries a comeback but gets nailed with the some more double teams. Haas comes in and locks on a step over armbar with some added pressure on the neck. Rhyno by rolling out of the armbar for 2, Shelton gets tagged back in and he gets and applies a neck vice, Rhyno fights out but Shelton dropkicks him in the neck for another 2. He knees him in the neck for 2, and Haas comes back in and hits a neckbreaker for another 2. AWESOME NECK WORK! Shelton gets tagged back in and he slaps the vice back on but Rhyno counter with a spinebuster. Both men are down but Rhyno manages to crawl to his corner and tag in Benoit, he nails Haas with a snap suplex. Benoit send Shelton into the ring post, and hits the 3 Germans on Haas. Benoit then heads up top and connects with a Diving Headbutt, but Shelton makes the save. Rhyno comes in and dumps Benjamin to the outside. Haas and Benoit are back in the ring and debut of the Haas of Pain, but Rhyno makes the save. Benjamin comes back in but he gets a KILLED WITH A GORE! While Benoit locks Haas in the crossface, and he taps. FUCKIN’ AMAZING STUFF HERE! ****

In the streets, Cena cuts a RAP!

Backstage: Heyman says that he simply cannot win his match, Angle snaps and gives Heyman a pep talk, saying that Heyman WILL WIN tonight. Team Angle enters the room bickering with each other about their loss and Kurt Angle yells at Team Angle that real champions overcome adversity.

Steel Cage Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Paul Heyman (w/ Kurt Angle & Team Angle)
I’m disappointed Heyman isn’t wearing a Team Angle sweat suit, but he’s still wearing a suit. Angle starts climbing the side of the cage which distracts Brock long enough for Haas & Benjamin to sneak in and attack him. They slam Brock into the cage couple of times before Brock shakes it off and throws Shelton out of the door and slams Haas into the cage a few times. Haas gets dumped to the outside and Brock goes to the outside to chase Paul Heyman. He catches Heyman but Angle attacks him from behind. Brock slams Angle head first into one of those steel rods on the outside of the cage and busts him open. Brock pretty much toys with Heyman until and positions him for an F-5, but angle can’t open the door, so it looks hilarious as Brock his Heyman up for the F-5 for like 45 seconds before Angle can climb over the top of the cage and down to deliver the chop blocks Brock to stop him. Angle gets connects with an Angle Slam and puts Heyman on top. But Brock kicks out at 2. Angle slaps applies the anklelock but Brock grabs Paul around the waist to keep him from escaping. Brock rolls over and counters by kicking Angle off. Angle comes right back and pounds on Brock in the corner while Heyman tries to climb out. Brock knee lifts Angle and catches Heyman about to go over. Brock pulls Heyman down and F-5's him for the win.

Smackdown goes off air: Kurt and Brock are still having a staring contest with Kurt backing up the ramp, Brock then picks Heyman up and delivers another F-5, what a guy. The crowd begin to chant “One more time†but instead Brock continues to celebrate and leaves. Officials help Heyman out of the cage and up the ramp.

Oh here's a link to the tag match WWE Smackdown 03/06/2003 - Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno - YouTube

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 03/10/2003
Cleveland, Ohio

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Lance Storm
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

Backstage: Eric Bischoff tells the all the guys he got to beat on Austin last week to "be nice" to Steve Austin when he gets here, the last thing he needs is Steve Austin as an enemy. Bischoff says that he'll call Steve Austin out and ask to bury the hatchet. The Rock enters the room and excuses Chief Morley, Bischoff asks if Rock is ready for his match with Booker T and The Rock says that he's not getting ready for the match because it won't happen, the World title is important to him, but not right now. His only objective is to beat Steve Austin at a Wrestlemania so his off his match with Booker T and says he'll take on Steve Austin at Wrestlemania. Bischoff says he has sponsors and advertising exporting to see The Rock in action tonight. The Rock says that he'll wrestle tonight, but not Booker T he'll find himself an opponent for tonight.

Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Rob Van Dam & Kane
No idea why this got 4 minutes at best, they crammed a lot of fun stuff in it but still it never got that chance to have storytelling or psychology. It was boom, boom, boom, finish. The match ends when Jericho sends Kane into the steps on the outside, back in the ring RVD hits Christian with a spinkick, then connects with a frog splash. Jericho sneaks back in and hits the Lionsault on RVD for the win. Post-Match: Jericho is celebrating, walking back wards up the ramp but as he turns around Shawn Michaels comes out and hits Sweet-Chin Music on Jericho then accepts by calling him boy. **1/2

Booker T comes out and gets on the mic. He says he's disappointed that The Rock doesn't want a fight, but he wants to say some things. Triple H tried to embarrass him last week, but he admits that he loves entertaining. He says he's made his mistakes, including going to jail. He says if Triple H wants to see him dance, he should get on down here, and he'll dance all over his punk ass, like at Mania when he becomes the NEW World Champion. Instead, Ric Flair comes out to the ring and says the card Booker's been dealt isn't a bad card, but it doesn't say World Champion on it. Flair says that Booker isn't Michael Jordon, Tiger Woods or TRIPLE H. Flair says that 19 months in the Big House means Booker is "bad news" Booker is bad, but not bad enough to be World Heavyweight Champion. Flair says that Triple H offered to make Booker T his personal assistant by meeting Triple H's jet, carry his bags, and drive his limo to the building in a job he's qualified for, or he can make the mistake of showing up at Raw and getting the beating of a life time. Booker T asks if Hunter is in the back right now, and Flair says he is. Booker decks Flair, and walks to the back now.

Backstage: Booker T walks into Triple H’s in his private bathroom! And Triple H tells him to get him a towel Booker T then lays out Triple H out right there in the bathroom.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico (w/Three Minute Warning)
Someone fire Jeff ‘because this guy is getting worse and worse every week.

Backstage: Triple H is walking around looking for Booker T, but runs into Maven and yells at him for being a wannabee wrestler from "Tough Enough" Triple H punches a stagehand and Maven sticks up for him. Triple H tells Maven if he wants to be a REAL wrestler to get his gear on.

[video=youtube;9H0uCltT3FM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H0uCltT3FM[/video]​

#1 Contender's Match: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Trish whips her into the corner to start, but misses the charge. She gets the handstand rana, however, and Victoria runs in for the DQ

Eric Bischoff comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he wanted Austin beaten to a bloody pulp last week but he let his personal feelings get in the way of business. Bischoff says that he's sorry that he fired Austin via fedEX from WCW, he's sorry for saying that Austin would never amount to anything. Bischoff then apologizes to Jim Ross for smashing a cinder block over his face a few weeks back. Bischoff says that if he hadn't fired Austin, than the whole Stone Cold gimmick would never have been born and he deserves some credit for Stone Cold being in the WWE. But Austin deserves credit for saving Bischoff's job; Austin single handily reinvented the business a lot alike and should bury the hatchet right here and now. Austin comes out and makes him call him sir Austin says he finds it interesting that Bischoff is trying to take credit for everything Stone Cold has done. Bischoff extends his hand to Austin to try to bury the hatchet, Austin instead sticks his middle finger in Bischoff's face Austin says that he thought Bischoff's speech was BOOOOOOOOORING! Austin says the only thing he wants to bury tonight, is his foot, in Bischoff's ASS. Suddenly the Rock comes out to the stage and stops Austin from doing something to Bischoff, he challenges Austin for Round 3 at Mania, and Austin remembers that the last two times Austin & Rock faced off, Austin won both times. Rock says that Stone Cold Steve Austin is NOTHING, AND THE ROCK MEANS NOTHING! Austin says that The Rock is scared, Austin lays down in the center of the ring and challenges Rock to come down and pin him. Austin says that he isn't leaving the building until he kicks someone's ass .Austin turns around and stomps a mudhole in Eric Bischoff and The Rock runs down into the ring, but Austin turns around, and Rock backs up again.

Maven vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair)
Triple H had the red pants on tonight, YES! Triple H beats on him in the corner and throws him to start; Hunter follows him to the outside and whips him into the stairs. Back in, Hunter kills him with a clothesline and rakes the eyes. He begins to chokes him out on the ropes and stops a comeback with an atomic drop. Triple H then applies a sleeper. He releases it with disdain before Maven can tap, but Maven fights back with a jawbreaker and pounds away in the corner. Hunter misses a charge, but kills him with the DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER. Triple H decides enough is enough and hits him with a PEDIGREE for the win. Post-Match: Triple H continues the beating on Maven, and actually Maven got his head stuck in the ropes. Al Snow ran out and helped free Maven from the ropes, but Triple H hit him with a clothesline and a pedigree.**1/4

Backstage: Eric Bischoff is upset that Steve Austin didn't accept his apology tonight and Morley says that Bischoff did everything he could and went above and beyond for Austin and not even Mr McMahon tries to make a mends with Steve Austin (DID THIS blueberry NOT WATCH POST-WRESTLEMANIA X-SEVEN) Bischoff announces Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin next week.

Stacy on her cell phone talking to fuckin’ Test, she finds out that Test is already down south four days before the Girls Gone Wild gig even begins. what a guy.

The Dudleyz come down to the ring for their match against Morley/Lance (Regal is still out with a concussion) they come out with security. Morley says there was miss-communication, and it's a handicap match with D-Von. He says like last week vs. Spike, if D-Von can win, the Dudley Boyz are reinstated, but if not, they remain suspended. Bubba is escorted out.

Chief Morley & Lance Storm vs. D-Von
Terrible SQUASH!

Girls gone wild Match: King introduces four of Cleveland's "Finest" King gets ready to use the super soaker on the four girls. Suddenly Stacy Keibler's music hits and she comes down to the ring. Stacy says she was upset with Test earlier but then she realized she's just as wild as anybody, she tells King to step aside cause she's gonna get these girls all wet. King insists on introducing the girls first, Stacy sprays each of the girls, JESUS! Stacy says that she will be at Girls Gone Wild to show everybody just how wild a diva can get. Jerry sprays all over Stacy’s ass to finish the segment.

No-Disqualification Match: The Rock vs. The Hurricane
Rock slaps the shit out of Hurricane, but Hurricane fires back right away. Rock bails to massage the People’s Jaw, back in Hurricane walks into a Samoan drop. Rock stops to applaud the effort, and grabs the cape. Hurricane slugs away, but Rock sidesteps a boot and clotheslines him. Suplex gets two. Rock hammers away in the corner, but Hurricane keeps fighting. But another clothesline puts him down, Rock applies a chinlock. Hurricane comes back with a neckbreaker, Hurricane gets his clotheslines and the Shining Wizard, and heads up for a crossbody that gets two. Rock hits him with the hurricane and kips up, but Rock Bottom is blocked. Hurricane can’t chokeslam him, but a low blow works. He finally gets something that was either a chokeslam or a Rock Bottom, and gets two. Spinebuster and People’s Elbow, and Rock won’t even toss the elbowpad to the crowd. Austin comes out which allows Hurricane to get the SHOCKING! schoolboy and win. OH SHIT! Rock's selling of the I can't believe I just lost as Raw goes off air is great.**1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 03/13/2003
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Team Angle vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman
Haas takes down Kidman to start with a fireman’s carry, but Kidman comes back and overpowers him with a rana for two. Rey sunset-flips in for two on Benjamin and this great little airplane-spin headscissors for two, A double-team but Kidman and Rey gets a good two count. Which allows Kidman to pound away in the corner, he then gives Shelton some breathing room and comes charging in but Shelton moves and Kindman goes head/shoulder first into the post. Shelton takes him down with an armbar and gets two, and goes to work with some kicks to soften up the arm. Haas comes in with a standing armbar, and takes him down with another one for two. Tag to Benjamin who takes him down with an armdrag and legdrops it, hanging on with an armbar. This arm work is spectacular. The leapfrog choke, back breaker double team gets two. Out of nowhere Kidman rolls up Haas for two, and hits an enzuigiri to allow the hot tag to Rey, Rey hits a somersaults in with a bombs away and springs off Benjamin onto Haas with a press for two Kidman makes the blind tag and dumps Benjamin to the outside, but Haas tries a Powerbomb, which doesn’t work and that allows Benjamin who tries to dump Kidman, but gets dumped again to the outside and Rey hits Haas with the 619, he then heads out with an Asai moonsault onto Benjamin for good measure. The Shooting Star Press gets two ‘cause Benjamin saves. Kidman goes after Shelton, but Benjamin superkicks Kidman into the Haas German suplex for the win. Great fuckin’ match here, it seems Team Angle can do no wrong right now. Also Fuck Kidman for no-selling the arm until he “hurt it on the SSP” even though he didn’t need to sell it then. Kinda hoping it’s a LEGIT injury now Rey is still gold here. ***1/4

Backstage: Brian Kendricks gives Stephanie some flowers and thanks her for the opportunity to wrestle on Smackdown, Steph accepts the flowers and says that she was very impressed by Kendrick’s, and to keep trying.

Earlier today, at the Playboy mansion: Jamie Knoble goes to the Playboy mansion on behalf of his girlfriend, Nidia. He waits at the door for over an hour. Jamie says that he's there to tell Hugh that he should have picked Nidia instead of Torrie. The security comes out and escorts Noble away.

Rikishi vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/FBI)
Some stuff happens for a few minutes; thankfully the Guerrero’s run in and take out the FBI.

Backstage: Undertaker finds Nathan Jones in a dark room by himself; Nathan says that when you spend 10 years in solitary confinement you spend time alone sometimes. Undertaker says that he wants Nathan Jones to watch the next match to scout for their Mania match (Oh yeah I forgot to mention it’s Big Show & A-Train vs. Undertaker & Nathan Jones @ WMania)

The Big Show & A-Train vs. Tajiri & Funaki
Well this was fun, Funaki and Tajiri bumping around like they’re facing two Godzilla’s were great. A minute or so Show took a break to do commentary, until Team Tajaki start double teaming A-Train so Show leaves and comes back into the ring and kills Tajiri with a chokeslam, which allows A-Train to kick Funaki head off and nail him with the backbreaker for the win.

Sean O'Haire asks Dawn Marie if there is something wrong, Dawn says that she is upset that Torrie Wilson was picked for Playboy and not her (So is the Al Wilson death angle like Al? Dead!) Sean says that the girls on GGW a chance to show their body on PPV tonight, he points out that Dawn has an opportunity to show her body on Smackdown. Dawn asks if Sean is implying that she expose her breasts tonight? Sean says that he's not telling her anything she doesn't already know.

Dawn Marie asks if the people think she has a "voluptuous" body?! She says that while the girls are going wild on Pay Per View tonight, she's gonna go wild tonight. Dawn turns and flashes Michael Cole & Tazz, with a strategically places ring rope.

CENA CUTS A RAP! “He calls Brock a poster child for birth control pill, and says he goes down quicker than a hoe for $5” oh and “I’ll whack you more times than a masturbation tournament”

#1 Contender's Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships: Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Los Guerrero’s
Benoit & Chavo start off the match, they trade wristlocks and Benoit takes him down, but Chavo gets a cross-armlock until Benoit makes the ropes. Eddie comes in, and so does Rhyno. Eddie takes him down with a drop-toehold and they jockey for position in the corner, but Rhyno shoves him down. Chavo dropkicks Rhyno and hits him with a snapmare and slugs him in the corner, and Eddie comes back in, but walks into a faceplant. Benoit knees him down and a snap suplex shim. Eddie fires back, but Rhyno attacks him from behind to stop any offense he had. He charges and hits elbow, allowing Chavo to come in with a backdrop suplex for two. Benoit connects with a backbreaker on him for two, and then a backdrop suplex for two. Chavo reverses which allows Benoit & Eddie to slug it out; Eddie gets a dropkick for two. Eddie unloads the chops, but Benoit takes him down with a Crossface. Eddie rolls away, but Benoit hangs on and makes him fight to the ropes instead. Chavo hammers on Benoit until Eddie calms him down and they proceed to double-teaming him. Chavo forearms him down and stomps on him. Benoit escapes and rolls him up for two, but Chavo clotheslines him down again. Eddie slingshots in for two, and grabs an armbar. Chavo keeps working Benoit over, but he walks into another Crossface attempt. He makes the ropes and bails out of the ring, Benoit follows with the middle rope missile dive, and now everyone is fighting on the floor as we go to a commercial. Chavo trying his own Crossface on Benoit, but Rhyno tags in with a belly-to-belly for two. Back to the chinlock as Rhyno talks some trash to Chavo at the same time. Chavo escapes and gets a missile dropkick and it’s a double-count. Benoit overpowers Eddie and gets a snap suplex. Eddie escapes a tilt-a-whirl and connects with a backdrop suplex, and a rana. He heads top and gets chopped down by Benoit, Benoit follows him up and connects with a Powerbombs off the top for two but Rhyno makes the save as Eddie cradles Benoit for two. Chavo dumps Rhyno and Benoit sends Eddie over the top the hard way, leaving Chavo and Benoit. Dropkick from Chavo and he hammers away in the corner, but gets caught with a Crossface. Eddie breaks it up with a frog splash, but Rhyno comes in with the GORE! Powerbomb puts both Chavo & Rhyno on the floor, and Benoit gets two on Eddie. Benoit hits the 3 Germans, but Eddie switches to a vertical suplex series of his own, Benoit then counters the 3rd one into a Crossface. Eddie counters to go-behind, but Benoit counters that and suplexes him, suddenly Team Angle runs in for the DQ by hitting both men with the belts. **** - ****1/4

Stephanie is waiting for Team Angle backstage and says because of what they did, it's now a three way at WrestleMania. Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs. Los Guerrero’s

A video package of Hulk Hogan’s run in WWF, along with his Real American theme. Vince McMahon comes out and says that he and Hulk Hogan had some good times together and that Hulk Hogan changed, and it hurt Vince, and his family. Vince says that Hulk Hogan just wanted to screw Vince McMahon when he defected to WCW. Their match at Wrestlemania is going to be a fight like never seen before and that it’s going to be hurt and devastated because he had to kill one of his own creations.

Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore come down to the ring, Mattitude.com says “Matt has never locked his keys in his car, Matt hates cleaning his carpet” Matt says in order to keep his Mattributes sharp, he has an open challenge for any cruiserweight who isn't Rey Mysterio. A man in a mask comes out; He has Chimel announce him as the Pittsburgh Penguin.

Matt Hardy (w/ Shannon Moore) vs. The Pittsburgh Penguin
Really fun 4 minute match here, Matt was toying with him thinking he’s a local punk kid but in the end it caught up to him when Matt rips off the mask, and it’s BRIAN KENDRICK. Kendrick fights back and knees him down for two. Sliced Bread #2 gets two. He chops away and takes out Moore, then blocks the Twist of Fate and hits another Sliced Bread #2 but Shannon pulls Matt out for the ring and the ref counts him out. **1/2

Backstage: Team Angle tries to tell Kurt that his hometown crowd might help, but he says Pittsburgh is horrible, and he's the only legitimate success story to ever come out of this hell hole. He says he has no family out there, but his true family is Team Angle.

WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle
Angle keeps his tracksuit jacket on even after introductions, during his entrance. Kurt is kneeling in the corner which is weird. Anyway the bell ring and Brock attacks, hammers him down, F5, and we discover that “Kurt” is actually Eric Angle, OH FUCKIN’ SHIT! Team Angle runs down to distract Brock, and Kurt slides in, in identical gear, and switches. Brock turns around, not seeing it, Kurt gets a rollup out of nowhere for the WIN! Post-Match: Kurt and Team Angle, quickly leave and Brock iz MAD!. He yells that he's gonna rip Kurt in half, and hits Eric with the F5 into the post.

Smackdown goes off air: Brock calls Kurt a son of a bitch and begs for him to get his ass out here; suddenly Paul Heyman in a neck brace comes out. Heyman says he got taught one lesion and Team Angle is gonna teach him another. Team Angle rushes to the ring but Brock gets the upper hand for a while until Team Angle hit a double flapjack. They continue to work on him in the corner until Rhyno and Benoit make the save. Team Angle/Benoit Rhyno brawl to the back and Brock finally gets his hands on Heyman but A-Train and Show stop that. Suddenly Takers music hits and he comes down for the save, thankfully he doesn’t bring Nathan Jones with him. Taker and Brock stand tall in the ring. Taker then gets out of the ring and throws Heyman back in and Brock hits him with the F-5. Taker gets in and raises his hand to send the crowd home happy. BUT WAIT! Taker raises his finger and gives the crowd the “One more time” look he brings Heyman in the ring again and Brock gets on the Mic and he asks Heyman what’s his problem and Heyman says “I WANT MY MOMMY” Brock then gives him another F-5.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 17/03/2003
St Louis, Missouri

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Championships: William Regal & Lance Storm
WWE Woman’s Champion: Victoria

Raw opens with Bischoff in the middle of the ring with the lights out but he has this big ass spotlight on him. Bischoff announces Austin vs. Bischoff in a Lumberjack Match involving the entire roster. And if anyone doesn’t want to do their job, their FIRED!

Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. Chief Morley & Lance Storm
Before the match, Morley gets on the mic and says Regal is sick, and he'll take his place. And if the Dudley Boyz interferes in this match, there will be Hell to pay. JESUS! Christ this was mad sloppy on the part of RVD he almost killed Morley at least half a dozen times. But I’ll be honest I wouldn’t be mad it happen, Kane’s hot tag was good and it almost made me forget how shitty this was. The match ends when RVD hits the rolling thunder on Morley while Kane hit Storm the chokeslam for the win. Post-Match: RVD tries to frog splash Morley, but he rolls out of the ring. Dudleyz run down and roll him back in. They set up a table, but then attack RVD and Kane. They dump RVD out of the ring which looked brutal then give the 3D to Kane. Morley laughs as the Dudleyz leave. **

Backstage: Morley is talking to the Dudleyz, D-Von says he called them this weekend and said to make a choice, and they did that. Bubba says they're not happy, but they've joined his administration. Morley says that the Dudleyz made the right choice and Bischoff could use two more lumberjacks tonight.

[video=youtube;DgLSWhQnlzE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgLSWhQnlzE[/video]​

Maven vs. Rico (w/Three Minute Warning)
I hated this, didn’t like one single second of it.

Backstage: Terri stands outside of Stone Cold Steve Austin's dressing room waiting for an interview; suddenly Shawn Michaels walks by and enters Austin's dressing room.

Backstage: Shawn Michaels comes in and says that he'll be a lumberjack tonight and that he will do his job and throw Austin back in the ring if he has to. Steve Austin asks Shawn Michaels will do when Chris Jericho is a lumberjack too. Shawn reminds Steve that The Rock will be a lumberjack as well; Austin says that he doesn't give a rat ass about the WWE superstars, if he goes down; Eric Bischoff is going down with him.

Backstage: The Rock sees Teddy Long reading WWE Magazine with Hurricane on the cover, and Teddy Long says his man Rodney Mack is gonna take care of it tonight, and nobody will remember that Hurricane beat Rock last week. This upsets him, and Long says that it was another conspiracy by The Man to keep a brotha down, and he's gonna take care of it playa.

The Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack (w/Teddy Long)
So Rodney Mack sucks, Hurricane is average. Late in the match, The Rock runs down and attacks Hurricane, causing a DQ finish. Post-Match: Rock beats the shit out of Hurricane around the ring, then picks up a chair and continues to kill him.

Trish Stratus & Jazz vs. Victoria & Steven Richards
First few minutes were solid with Trish and Jazz teaming but neither woman really trusting the other, late in the match. Jazz walks out on Trish, and it's a 2 on 1. Steven lays out Trish with a Sky High, and Victoria hits Trish with the Widow's Peak for the win. Post-Match: They both continue to attack Trish, until fuckin’ Jeff Hardy runs down for the save. He then ends up kissing Trish, more like forcing himself on her. *3/4

Jonathan Coachman interviews Chris Jericho, Jericho says few can dream of ever touching Michaels' legacy, especially at Mania, but as a kid, he did. He said he used to dream about being Shawn Michaels, and says he wanted to be just like him. He says that now, his dream is to end Shawn Michaels' legacy at WrestleMania, and in 13 days, dreams come true.

Backstage: Stacy tells Test that the mystery partner is set, and Test says he'll see her out there, but needs to finish getting ready. Stacy leaves, and Test opens up the Playboy with Torrie Wilson on the cover. WHAT A GUY!

Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Test & Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler)
Test goes after Jericho to start as he hasn’t forgot the con-chair-to that C&CJ killed him with 2/3 weeks ago. Test hammers away, and tosses Christian. He Press slams Jericho on the floor as well. Back in, Jericho tries apologizing and tags Christian in, but he gets speared into the corner by Steiner and power slammed. Scotty elbowdrops and push-ups taunts, Test runs into a leg lariat, Test and Christian slug it out, and Test clotheslines him and brings Steiner back in. Steiner handles both and presses Christian, and gets a sloppy belly-to-belly on Jericho. Backdrop suplex on Christian gets two. Christian uses the ref to block a suplex and Jericho goes low on Steiner. Jericho mocks the push-ups and chops away, but walks into an overhead suplex. Steiner tags Test and Test sideslams both men. Corner clothesline for Christian and a tilt-a-whirl slam on Jericho gets two. Christian clips him into the Walls of Jericho, but Steiner breaks it up. Meltdown is blocked by Jericho, but another try gets two. Jericho clobbers him, but misses the Lionsault and gets suplexed by Steiner which allows Test to kill him with a powerbomb that gets two. Steiner tosses Christian, who goes after Stacy. Steiner makes the save there and catches her coming off the apron, and Jericho rolls up Test for the win. AND IT BEGINS! **1/4 - **1/2

Triple H (w/Ric Flair) vs. Goldust (w/Booker T)
Lockup to start and gets the upper hand of the exchange. Goldust connects with the butt-butt, but Hunter goes low. He pounds away in the corner, but Goldust backdrops him. The arm injury acts up, and Hunter sends him into the post to. Single-arm DDT gets two. And Hunter begins to work on the arm with a wristlock before connecting with the DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER. Whoever, Hunter stops to mock Booker, but Goldust fights back until walking into a Pedigree attempt. Goldust reverses a rollup for two. Goldust gets a couple of clotheslines in and the sliding punch. Atomic drop gets two. And Hunter dumps him to the outside, Booker and Flair begin to brawl but Randy Orton nails Booker with a crutch from the crowd. You know ‘cause it’s his home town and he’s resting up injured. Back in the ring, Goldust gets a bulldog and hammers away in the corner to set up the Shattered Dreams, but the arm acts up again and its Hunter connects with a high knee and finishes it off with a PEDIGREE. **3/4

Backstage: The Rock is in a good mood, and talks with Eric. He even sings a song trashing St. Louis. The Rock suggests that Bischoff book a "Rock" concert on RAW next week and he does He talks Bischoff into calling off the lumberjack stipulation and instead making it a no-DQ match so that Rock can interfere freely.

No-Disqualification Match: Eric Bischoff vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Austin chases him to start and then beats up Eric until Morley comes down to help. Back in, Austin continues to kill Eric with kicks and even applying the Boston crab, but breaks to yell at Morley. Morley comes in and goes low, allowing Bischoff to get some kicks in. Austin ignores him connects with a STUNNER, but Rock comes in with a STUNNER of his own. Bischoff only gets two, Rock comes back in and tries the People’s Elbow, but Austin moves and dumps Rock to the outside. STUNNER for Morley, and one for Bischoff for the win. Post-Match: Austin celebrates with beer, but Rock holds up the finger right behind Austin's head. Austin turns around into the Rock Bottom, and Rock drinks Austin's beer up the ramp to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 03/20/2003
Louisville, Kentucky - Freedom Hall

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

We open the show with various clips of musicians singing the national anthem at past WrestleMania’s. Recap of last week's Kurt Angle & Eric Angle master plan.

Charlie Haas (w/Shelton Benjamin) vs. Rhyno (w/Chris Benoit)
The first few minutes were uneventful but as soon as Haas went to work on the knee I started to get into it, I was still left scratching his head why though as Rhyno came back from a broken neck so you should always target it. But I guess you wanna chop Rhyno down to size to ensure he doesn’t hit the GORE! Rhyno makes the comeback with a backdrop and a belly-to-belly, but Benjamin trips him up. And Rhyno completely forgets about the knee about this time the match ends when Shelton takes Benoit out on the floor, and he slides in. He holds Rhyno up, and Haas hits him with the tag title belt for the DQ. **3/4

Backstage: Stephanie McMahon says that she was angry when Brian was revealed as the Pittsburgh Penguin last week and that Brian is a liability because he is not a part of the Smackdown! Roster. Brian apologizes saying that he just wanted to impress her; Steph says that if Brian can beat Shannon Moore tonight he will get a spot on the roster.

CENA CUTS A RAP! He challenges any rapper in the world to a battle @ WrestleMania, he also says he’s gonna be on Smackdown next week for revenge.

Los Guerrero’s, LIE, CHEAT & STEAL: Eddie & Chavo are on a golf course, and these two white guys ask them to get them some Mexican food for lunch Eddie then threats them and the guys say they’ll be up for a foursome, EWWWWW! Chavo & Eddie challenge them to a game right now. Eddie & Chavo cheat to win all the rich guys money, watches and other stuff “IF YOU'RE NOT CHEATING, YOU'RE NOT TRYINGâ€

Rikishi & Los Guerrero’s vs. The FBI
Eddie & Chavo try to make this watchable but It’s not. Cole calls himself a “GANGSTAâ€

Bobby Heenan talks about Hogan-McMahon, he says he's not sure Vince would be Vince without Hulk and vice versa. He also says both of them are motivated by Money & Power.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble (w/Nidia)
Rey monkey-flips out of a criss-cross to start, and connects with a rana. He hammers away in the corner, but gets powerbombed into the opposite corner. Backdrop suplex gets two and Noble jettisons Rey under the bottom rope, where Nidia hits him with a clothesline. Back in, and Noble gets two counts off that. Noble goes with an over-the-shoulder submission move, but Rey fights out with a DDT. Rey gets a cross-body for two, and Noble powerslams him for two. He goes up, but gets dropkicked by Rey and snapped off with a reverse rana. Nidia goes for the mask, so Rey hits her with a pescado. Noble baseball slides him, he pick Rey up and onto the apron. Noble goes for the powerbomb off the apron, but gets reversed into the ring and Rey connects with the 619 and West Coast Pop for the win. ***

Kurt & Eric Angle come down to the ring and Kurt gets on the mic. Kurt says he was worried last week about facing Brock early, Kurt says that he's the greatest athlete the WWE has ever seen, not to mention the smartest. He tells Eric that he's the best brother a guy could have, and loves him, and gives him a hug. Eric says that their mom was right, Kurt doesn't suck. Kurt says that Brock isn't the "Next Big Thing", he's the "Next Big Loser" and Brock is a disgrace to Armatures & Professional wrestling. Kurt says that he wants an apology for what he did to Eric last week on Smackdown! Instead, Stephanie comes on the stage and says that if anybody tries to interfere, or if Kurt gets DQ'd or CO, he'll lose the title she also says that Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar are the finest athletes the WWE has ever seen. Kurt says he'll do it, but not for the people, he's gonna do it for HIMSELF! But first they're not going anywhere until Brock Lesnar comes out and apologizes. Brock Lesnar’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. So Kurt pushes his injured brother into the path of Brock Lesnar's, and Lesnar kills him with a clothesline Brock then goes after Kurt but Eric hits him with a low blow and Kurt smashes a crutch over Brock's head. Kurt then brings a chair in delivers the Angle Slam to Brock through a steel chair. Kurt locks Brock into a variation of a camel clutch and refuses to break the hold; he chases all the referees away before leaving.

The Undertaker vs. Bill DeMott
So not only is Taker now in possibly the best shape he’s in since 1997, and not only is he now adapting his offense to keep up with the younger guys. He’s now bumping and selling for anyone/everyone. Or maybe he just respects Bill that much cause he was bumping all over for him. He tried his best to make Bill look LEGIT! In the ring, but the problem with that is if he’s yet to impress or do anything for the 4/5 months he’s been here I am not gonna believe it now. Thankfully Taker wins with the tombstone.

Backstage: Brock Lesnar is receiving medical attention, putting ice on his ribs. You know the ribs he broke last year.

Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore (w/Matt Hardy)
Mattitude.com says “Matt graciously included Shannon in his book, he’s Shannon’s idol†GOD DAMMIT! I actually enjoyed Moore here. He bumped around for him and even was decent on offense. The match ends when, Shannon tries a German suplex, but Kendrick lands on his feet and kick him down for two. Kendrick comes charging into the corner but misses, Matt then slams Kendrick into the stairs. That gets two count. Matt connects with another cheap shot. So Rey comes out and attacks Matt, allowing Kendrick to hit the Sliced Bread #2 for the win. **1/2

Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin
Benoit starts unloading the chops right away and whips Benjamin around; he hits a backdrop suplex for two. Benjamin comes back with a knee to the gut and a backdrop suplex for two. He chokes away and starts working the back with knees, and into the chinlock. He pounds away in the corner, but Benoit comes back with chops until another knee stops him. Benoit takes him down with the Crossface, but Benjamin rolls out. Benoit rolls into a dropkick, but Benjamin keeps slugging. Benoit blocks a superkick and ducks a high kick, and again back to the Crossface. Rhyno GORES! Haas and Benjamin taps, Fuckin’ 3 and half minutes. C’MON! **2/3

In the ring, Mean Gene gives his personal thoughts on Wrestlemania before introducing Hulk Hogan. Hulk reminds everybody that he said if he loses to Vince that he'll retire for good. But there's no way he's gonna let Hulkamania die! All of the Hulkamaniacs who "made" Vince McMahon, Mean Gene then introduces Vince McMahon, we cut to the backstage area and Vince McMahon tells the crew backstage to watch the monitor’s cause it's gonna be good! Out of nowhere back in the ring Vince sneaks up behind Hulk Hogan with a steel chair and whacks him in the back! (OH SHIT THAT CLIP WAS pre-taped to trick Hogan) Vince hits Hulk a few more times with the chair and says that it's been 20 years in the making. Hulk makes his way to his feet one more time, before Vince kills him with a chair shot to the head, Hulk is busted open now. Vince grabs the contract and signs his name, he then gets down on his knees and stabs Hulk in the forehead with a pen HOLY SHIT! And forces Hulk Hogan to sign the contract with his own blood, FUCK YEAH!

Smackdown goes off air: Hulk Hogan is trying his best to get back to his feet; his face is just covered in blood at this point. He does manage to get to his feet with help from officials. He picks the contract up and signs it before leaving. Oh I should mention Hogan's selling while walking up the ramp was godly, i almost felt bad for him as it was that good.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 03/24/2003
Sacramento, California

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Championships: William Regal & Lance Storm
WWE Woman’s Champion: Victoria

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring and says he knows he's not supposed to be out there but has something to say about what the Rock did to him last week. Austin says that he's gonna stay there until the Rock comes out to the ring to join him. Test, who was scheduled for a match, and Stacy come out to the ring. Test tries to reason with Steve Austin by saying he means no disrespect, but Austin kicks him in the gut and gives him a stunner Austin slides out of the ring and sits next to Lillian. Lance Storm (Test's scheduled opponent) runs down and covers Test, so Austin slides back into the ring and counts, 1.. 2.. and flips Storm off and gives Storm the stunner Bischoff comes out with police officers. Eric presents Steve Austin with a restraining order, stating that Austin must leave the arena; if he doesn't leave the building he'll be arrested. Eric sends the police officers down to retrieve Austin and announces that the viewing audience will get to see a special "Rock" concert tonight. Austin runs into the Rock backstage, who sings a song on his guitar for Austin.

Jeff Hardy & Trish Stratus vs. Steven Richards & Victoria
This was short and to the point, it was boom-boom-boom in a good way, you know it was over ASAP. Thankfully. Trish pins Victoria with the Stratusfaction. Post-Match: Jeff and Trish are walking up the ramp, Jeff obviously tries to force himself on her again but thankfully Jazz puts a stop to that. Steven and Jeff brawl to the back, and Jazz also lays out Victoria.

Coachman tells Eric Bischoff the security has an emergency and takes Eric Bischoff to the security office. Bischoff looks at a monitor and discovers that Steve Austin is parked outside the entrance to the arena, he tells Coach to go out there and tell Austin to leave the property. Coach says that he's rather not go out there so Bischoff says that Coach is going to do it, or get fired.

Backstage: Booker catches Goldust looking at the Playboy issue featuring Torrie Wilson Goldust says how proud he is of Booker for going into Mania to fight for the title, and says as much as Triple H sounds like A DICK! DICK! DICK! DICTATOR, Booker T is going to walk out with the World Title.

Scott Steiner vs. Christian
Man you can tell the Rock’s concert is getting time because these matches are like 2/3 minutes long, Christian bumps his ass off here and Scotty looks the best he’s looked since the 90’s. Steiner wins after hitting the Samoan Drop off the top rope.

In the parking lot: Coach informs Austin that Eric Bischoff wants him to leave and says that he'll let Bischoff know that Austin got the message.

Backstage: Fuckin’ Morley announces that due to Regal's illness, the tag titles are vacated. He announces himself and Lance as the new champions, RVD and Kane come over. RVD challenges them at Mania for the titles, ‘cause they beat them last week. Morley says there's another tag team just as qualified as them, The Dudley Boyz. Kane suggests a #1 Contender's Match for tonight.

Booker T & Goldust vs. Triple H & Ric Flair
Great match here it really was, Flair and Hunters heat-segment on both Booker & Goldust was great, and I loved the knee work on Booker and the arm work on Goldust throughout. The match ends when Booker smashes Hunters head in the ringsteps, which busts him open. Flair and Goldust are now brawling on the outside. Flair rolls back in, and Booker Scissor kicks him. Hunter goes for a Pedigree, but Booker fights out, slingshots him in the ringpost, then hits the Scissors Kick for the win. OH SHIT! ***

Backstage: Triple H is staring at the World championship while Ric Flair is trying to convince Triple H that he'll beat Booker T Wrestlemania. Triple H says someone tell Booker T that, Hunter has lost his smile

Chris Jericho comes down to the ring, and he gets on the mic. He says a lot's happened since December, when he supperkicked him and he’s attacked him. Jericho calls Shawn Michaels out to the ring, Jericho says the video last week hit him harder than most, because he remembers wanting to get into wrestling so that he can be like Shawn Michaels. Jericho shows split screen footage of himself and Michaels doing similar moves early in their careers. Jericho says that he was becoming known as "the next Shawn Michaels" that used to be the ultimate compliment, but not now he’s passed on becoming the "next Shawn Michaels" and became the "first Chris Jericho" The Showstopper was replaced with The Highlight of the Night, and when Shawn was home making babies, he was HERE, becoming the first Undisputed Champion and making history. He says that after Mania, Shawn will have to admit that he's better, that his skills have surpassed Shawn's. Jericho slaps Shawn, but Shawn laughs and slaps him back.

Backstage: The Rock says that he's got a fantastic idea, Bischoff says that every time Rock gets an idea, he gets his ass kicked (Eric is talking about Eric) The Rock says that they should set up speakers outside so that Steve Austin can hear the "Rock" concert. Austin then gets on the phone and calls someone.

#1 Contender's Match for the Tag Team Championships: The Dudley Boyz vs. Rob Van Dam & Kane
Chief Morley comes down to distract the referee as Lance Storm runs in and accidentally kicks Bubba Dudleyz. Kane chokeslams D-Von and Rob Van Dam hits the five-star-frog splash for the win. Everything before that was average as fuck.

[video=youtube;1AwDVsPyp18]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AwDVsPyp18[/video]
Hollywood Rock <3​

Vince introduces special bonus footage that extended 30 minutes after the show, it shows the contract signing between Hulk Hogan & Vince McMahon and the feud between Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar.

 

[Crippler]

WWE WrestleMania 19
Seattle, Washington

WWE Champion: Kurt Angle
WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Chief Morley & Lance Storm
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy
WWE Women's Champion: Victoria

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore) vs. Rey Mysterio
Mattitude.com says “Matt is appearing in his 4th WrestleMania; Matt often wonders how they did WrestleMania without him†Rey Mysterio comes out in Daredevil themed attire, Shannon Moore tries to distract Mysterio, but gets chased out and Hardy’s attempt to jump Rey from behind but is met with a backdrop sending him to the floor. Rey takes both men out with a corkscrew plancha and throws Hardy back inside for a two count. Hardy charges into Rey in the corner but runs head first into a boots of Rey. Rey would then hit a hurracanrana followed by a dropkick. Rey tries to sunset flip, but Moore breaks it up with a kick to the gut. This allows Matt to drop Mysterio on the security wall, and throws him back inside for two. Pumphandle slam gets another two count. Matt begins to choke Rey on the second rope, and when the ref pulls him off Moore gets a couple of cheap shots in. Matt tries to drop down on Mysterio, but Rey springboards off the second rope, but gets kicked in the mid-section. Matt goes for a twist of fate, but Mysterio counters into a sunset flip for two. Matt then whips Rey into the buckle and hits a side effect for two; he then connects with a snap mare, and then locks in a double wristlock but Rey kicks out. Mysterio puts the boots up in the corner on another Hardy charge, and goes into the ring post shoulder first. Rey springboards in with a seated senton, and then another springboard crossbody for a close 2 count. Mysterio hits a hurracanrana and a DDT for a two count and Rey sets up for the 619, but Moore trips him up for the floor. Matt would then connect with twist of fate, but Rey kicks out at two. Rey hits a super hurracanrana and as Rey covers, Moore puts Hardy’s leg on the bottom rope to break the count. Moore comes up to the apron, and Hardy tries to attack Rey from behind but ends up taking out Moore. Rey then hits the 619 and he goes for the west coast pop, but Hardy ducks it. Rey tries for a victory roll, but Matt sits back on it and grabs the bottom rope for the win. Way too short, but it did a great job for me getting me hyped with all the face paced action. **3/4

In the parking lot, The Miller Lite catfight girls arrive at the building. They argue about Austin/Rock or Hogan/Vince, I think. IDK I was busy looking at their pretty faces.

Before the show on Sunday Night Heat the Big Show and A-Train take out Nathan Jones in the bathroom, FUCK YEAH!

Limp Bizkit preform "Rollin'" in its entirety, what is this 2001? Taker makes hit way down to the ring.

The Undertaker vs. The Big Show & A-Train
As Train & Show makes their way down to the ring, A-Train stops to spit on Taker’s bike. That allows
Show to try and attack Taker from behind, but Taker pulls down the top rope and sends him to the floor. Train tries to sneak in, but gets met with a chokeslam for an awesome near believable finish. Show pulls Taker off during the count and brings him to the floor. Taker delivers a right hand and heads back inside, Show whips Taker into the corner, but Taker fires out with a big boot and begins to punch away but Train tags in and a shoulderblock. Train hits the ropes again, and this time after a leapfrog gets an armdrag. Taker delivers old school to Train, and knocks Show off the apron. Taker then turns around and walks right into the derailer, but instead of covering A-Train throws him to the floor. Show rams Taker into the ringpost, and then press slams him into the barricade. Show sends Taker back inside, and Train slingshots him into the second rope for a two count. Show tags in and stomps at the knees of Taker, but Taker fires back with a back elbow, but runs into a chokeslam attempt. Taker reverses that into a Fujiwara armbar as Train tries to break it up, but Taker locks him in a cross armbreaker. Show breaks that up with a legdrop and now Train and Show begin to double team stomp Taker. Show delivers a series of headbutts, and locks in an abdominal stretch. Train comes in putting the boots to Taker, and then locks in an abdominal stretch of his own. Taker delivers a right hand, and then reverses the abdominal stretch. Taker delivers a back suplex. Train comes right back with a clothesline after Show delivers a cheap shot from the apron, that seemed to PISS! Taker off so he comes firing back with a punches, and delivers a DDT off the ropes. Show breaks up the count at two, and Taker delivers a series of strikes to him. He now goes for a chokeslam on Show but he delivers a big boot to Train, and follows up with flying clothesline to Show. Taker then turns around into a big boot from Train, and Show connects with a chokeslam. Nathan Jones runs out, and meets Show in the aisle with a spin kick. Train goes for the cover and gets two. Jones runs into the ring and delivers a big boot to and Taker finishes him off with the tombstone for the win. I seemed to enjoy this more than people would, the stretch was quite boring but everything else was just fun for me. But the only real thing that bothered me the most was Why Jones was allowed to run into the ring when the match has been changed into a 2-1 match. **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: The catfight girls meet Torrie and Stacy, SEX!

We get highlights of the RVD/Kane vs. Morley/Storm match from Heat, so the Dudley Boyz hit Lance with the 3D, and D-Von rolled RVD on top of Lance. Bubba then hit RVD with an elbow drop, and rolled Lance on top for the pin.

WWE Women's Championship: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria (w/Stevie Richards)
That was a really good divas match. They worked well together and added some fun nearfalls, Trish has clearly taken huge jumps in terms of her ring skill. Jazz was her normal “Mike Tyson†like self with aggression. As for Victoria she had her moments but on some stuff she seemed to be a little off in places. I must be nerves; anyway Trish hits the Chick Kick for the win. **1/4

Backstage: The Coach interviews The Rock; Rock doesn't care how many people there are because they boo him. The Rock could care less about the people, he there for one reason, and that's to beat Steve Austin at WrestleMania. He says that in Hollywood he learned that Act 1 and 2 don't matter as much as Act 3. That's why this is so important. He guarantees a win. He says then he'll have done it all. Finally!

WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Angle vs. Los Guerrero’s vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno
All 6 guys brawl to start, that goes on for a brief time and Chavo and Haas start out. Chavo connects with a backdrop and then a back suplex. Haas counters a backdrop with a dropkick and tags in Benoit who gets met with an armdrag. Eddie tags in, and follows a back suplex with a springboard senton. Eddie and Benoit trade corner chops. Rhyno tags in and Eddie hammers him down with forearms before sends him into the turnbuckle. Rhyno delivers a powerslam, and Eddie tags in Shelton in. Shelton whips Rhyno and delivers a back elbow for a two count. Shelton then again whips Rhyno into the buckle and Haas tags in. Double dropkick gets a two count when Chavo breaks it. Benoit tags in and chops Haas in the corner, before delivering a snap suplex for two. Back suplex connects for another two count and Benoit tags in Rhyno. Charlie locks in a front face lock, and tags in Shelton who comes in with a knee lift. Rhyno whips Shelton into the corner, and hits a shoulderblock. Snap mare gets a one count for Rhyno, and Eddie tags Shelton. Eddie comes in with a dropkick and stomps away at Rhyno. Eddie gets thrown into the corner and Rhyno tags in Benoit. Eddie hits a back suplex, and heads to the top rope but Benoit comes up to meet him and delivers a superplex which gets two when Shelton makes the save. Eddie hits the ropes and Benoit flap jacks him into a Crossface but Haas makes the save, and Eddie comes back with a brainbuster getting a two count when Haas again makes the save. Chavo tags in and delivers a clothesline to Haas and a hurracanrana to Shelton. Chavo then turns around and Benoit goes for the Crossface. Chavo blocks that so Benoit delivers the triple Germans instead. Chavo makes the tag to Shelton during the Germans and Shelton delivers a superkick, but Eddie breaks up the count, and then he and Benoit collide head to head as Shelton comes back in as he is still legal and delivers a bodyslam to Benoit. Legdrop connects for Shelton but Eddie breaks up the pin with a frog splash. Chavo tags Benoit, but gets met with a belly-to-belly from Haas. Rhyno comes in and delivers a GORE! To Haas and another one to Shelton, Eddie pulls Rhyno to the floor and this allows Shelton to crawl on top of a fallen Chavo for the win. It was too short for my liking, it felt like a Smackdown top of the hour match. But with that being said a shot Smackdown match > Raw tag scene in every possible way.

Backstage: The catfight girls hang out with Torrie & Stacy and they fight over who made Mania a huge success between Mr. McMahon and Hulk Hogan, and they catfight girls say they should settle this in the ring, but the blond says to settle it in bed. FUCK YEAH!

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
During Shawn Michaels entrance he tries to fire the pyrotechnics/confetti guns but most of them don’t seem to be working headscissors then a armdrag by Jericho, Shawn gets out. And taunts him by posing on the top ropes, Jericho applies a wrist lock, but Shawn hip toss him to get free, takedown by Jericho, but Shawn pushes him off. Now a Side headlock is applied by Shawn, but Jericho rolls it into two. Jericho breaks out with elbows, criss-cross and delivers slaps across the face of Michaels. Shawn takes acceptation to that and punches him in the face then throws him out. Shawn goes for a plancha dive, but Jericho ducks so Shawn goes back in the ring and nails him with a baseball slide on the floor. Instead, Cross body by Shawn, but Jericho rolls through for two. Into the ropes, Jericho gets a spinning heel kick then follows up by punching and chopping away, hard whip into the turnbuckle sends Shawn to his knees and Jericho goes for a running bulldog, but Shawn reverses it so that Jericho goes groin first into the middle turnbuckle. Shawn applies the figure four but mid-way through Jericho reverses it. Kneebreaker, and the figure four is applied again, but Jericho sends him shoulder first into the ring post. Jericho tries to throw him out, but Shawn skins the cat and takes Jericho out with a headscissors. And this time Shawn manages to connect with the plancha. Outside the ring, Shawn goes for a dropkick that Jericho reverses into the Walls. He sits in it until the eight counts, and then breaks up the count. Michaels goes back first into the ring post. And Jericho begins to work on the back. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick from inside the ring onto Shawn on the apron and throws him back in the ring. He then connects with a back suplex, then the standing vertical suplex for two. Backbreaker by Jericho who does the DICK! pose pin for two. Jericho goes for a back body drop, which is reversed into a DDT for the double knockout spot. But they do manage to get to their feet before the count of 10 and Jericho gets a flying forearm and the nip up followed by an HBK flex pose OH SHIT! Michaels then nips up! And delivers a forearm, nip up, atomic drop, clothesline, and back body drop, AND JR IS ON COMMENTARY! For this part Jericho runs into a Michael’s boot and then the standing moonsault for two for Michaels. Both men do the reversal pinning spots before Jericho attempts the Walls which gets reversed by into the Northern Lights suplex by Shawn bridges up, and nails him with a clothesline. Facecrusher by Jericho then the Lionsault for two Shawn goes for a hurracanrana but instead Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho as Shawn gets the ropes. Jericho goes for the Walls again, but Shawn reverses into an inside cradle for two! Double underhook into a backbreaker by Jericho who then hits a reverse elbow off the top rope and starts warming up the band OH SHIT! He hits SOME SWEET CHIN MUSIC OF HIS OWN for an epic near-fall. Shawn then fights him off to nail a crossbody and they trade punches. Shawn going for the Walls, but changes his mind into a slingshot on the turnbuckle for two. Jericho sets him up on the top rope, he goes for the backsuplex, but Shawn counters it into a crossbody! For a two count, Shawn goes up top, but Jericho kicks the ref into the ropes as Shawn gets crotched. Superplex reversed, Jericho lands face first. Top rope elbow drop by Shawn and he now begins to set up for the superkick. Jericho ducks and puts him in the Walls of Jericho, but Shawn gets to the bottom rope. Jericho shows signs of anger and begins to yell at the ref, Jericho the turns right around and runs back into SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Shawn is slow to cover though and only gets a two count. Shawn gets whipped into the corner, and Jericho delivers a shot to the lower back. Jericho goes for a back suplex, but Shawn counters into a reverse victory roll for the win. Post-Match: Shawn sticks out his hand for Jericho to shake it. Jericho hugs him but then kicks him in the balls! Then he shoves him down. FUCK YEAH! ****

Sylvan Granier AKA The No Way Out ref walks into Mr. McMahon’s dressing room.

GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!

Limp Bizkit performs "Crack Addict"

Miller Light Catfight Girls vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Stacey Keibler
Jonathan Coachman talks on a microphone throughout the whole thing. Pillows are used clothes are ripped asses are spanked. Eventually, they all turn on the Coach and rip off his clothes.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Booker T vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair)
Triple H is debuting the purple trunks tonight, what a guy! Booker blocks a right hand and delivers a chop. They trade chops and HHH gets whipped into the buckle. Booker hits a backdrop, but a second charge hits a reverse elbow. HHH goes to the top rope, but gets slammed off by Booker going to the floor and Booker goes out after him throwing Hunter into the ringpos. Back inside the ring, Hunter catches Booker with a boot on the way in, and delivers a shoulder block. Booker blocks an armdrag, and connects with a clothesline for two. Booker delivers a pair of kicks, but Hunter ducks a spin kick and backdrops him to the apron. He now begins to ram Booker into the ringpost, which sends him to the floor. Hunter follows to the outside and this time he gets some revenge by throwing Booker head first into the ringsteps. Booker rolls inside and gets met with a series of stomps. Hunter again slides to the floor and delivers an elbow to the throat with Booker on the apron. Neckbreaker connects in the ring for a two count. Booker comes back firing backing Hunter into the buckle, but runs into a spinebuster for two. Booker gets whipped to the corner, and Hunter follows him in with a clothesline for two. Triple H begins to choke Booker on the ropes but as Hunter lets him go. Booker comes firing back with a series of chops, but Hunter comes right back with a knee to the gut, but Booker counters that with a suplex into a DDT. They trade exchanges with Booker getting the better of it. Booker delivers a sidewalk slam, and follows up with a forearm off the ropes for two. Booker delivers a knee to the gut, and goes for scissor kick. But Hunter counters into a sleeper, but Booker quickly counters sending him into the buckle. Booker hits the ropes but runs into the high knee, which gets two. Hunter hits the ropes and connects with a facebuster, and a spinebuster from Booker for two. Booker charges into the corner, but Triple H gets the boots up. Triple H comes charging out but runs into a superkick, which picks up a two count. Kick to the gut sets up a scissor kick from Booker. Hunter ducks that again, and pulls the ropes down on a heel kick attempt sending Booker to the floor. Hunter distracts the ref allowing Flair to drop the knee of Booker on the ringsteps. Booker rolls back inside and Triple H locks in an Indian Deathlock. Fuck yeah! Booker is able to pull himself to the ropes; Hunter drops his knee down onto the already weak knee. Hunter tries to whip Booker to the corner, but Booker can’t even put weight on his knee and collapses in the middle. Booker counters a kneebreaker into a sunset flip to get two. And Hunter goes right to the pedigree, but Booker counters and gets shoved into the ref. The ref doesn’t get knocked out but stops short of delivering a clothesline to the official allowing Booker to roll him up for two. Hunter comes off the ropes and runs into a back elbow from Booker and NOW he hits the scissor kick, but still can’t put weight on the leg and is slow to cover and Hunter kicks out at two. Booker heads to the top rope, and Flair provides a quick distraction, which allows Hunter cut him off. He goes for the superplex, but Booker fights him off. Flair tries to stop Booker, but gets shoved off, Booker then hits the FUCKIN’ Harlem Hangover, but again Booker is slow to cover and Flair puts Hunter’s foot on the rope to break the count. Booker tries to hit the ropes for the scissor kick, but he can’t put weight on the leg and collapses. This allows Triple H to hit the pedigree, and both men are down. Hunter lays there for at least 12 seconds before he finally crawls over and pins Booker for the win. I love the psychology of the match especially during the beginning part with Triple H being conservative on offense because just over a week ago Booker beat him clean. Oh and the story-telling with the knee is top notch, seriously Booker’s selling is some of his best work ever. ***1/2

Street Fight: Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon
f Hogan loses the match he “MUST†retire, They stare down and Vince slaps Hogan; so Hulk takes him down. Big clothesline and Hogan punches away on the mat then stomps in the corner. Vince hits a clothesline out of the corner and shoulder blocks Hogan in the corner over and over. Vince applies a hammerlock, he wraps it around the ringpost back in the ring this goes on for a while with Vince in control. What is it with Vince in control during his matches, JESUS! Hogan fights to his feet, but Vince fires away with a kick to regain the control. Vince finally fires Hogan to the floor, and follows him outside. Vince rams Hogan into the barricade, and then fires him shoulder first into the ringpost. Vince grabs a steel chair from ringside, and takes a swing at Hogan but misses. Hogan fires back sending Vince into the ringpost, then destroying Vince with a chair shot. Vince is bleeding as Hogan works the cut. Hogan grabs another chair and hits Vince in the back and shoulders with it. Hogan goes for his head but Vince ducks and Spanish announcer take the chairshot Vince fires back with a blow, and then slams Hogan in the face with the chair. Vince grabs a ladder from underneath the ring and sets it up at ringside. Vince slams Hogan into the Smackdown announce table, and then into the barricade. OH! THE SPANISH ANNONCER IS NOW BUSTED OPEN Hogan is also bleeding as Vince hits him with a monitor laying him out on the table. Vince comes off the ladder legdropping Hogan through the table. Vince throws Hogan inside the ring, and covers for a two count. Vince goes outside, and finds a lead pipe under the ring. DAT VINCE FACE! Vince goes for a shot with the pipe, but Hogan fires back with a low blow. Suddenly Roddy Piper appears out of nowhere, and spits on both guys while they are down. Piper grabs the pipe and nails Hogan with it and leaves. Vince crawls to Hogan, and covers for a two count. Vince goes for the pipe, but referee Brian Hebner tries to stop him so Vince tosses him to the floor and grabs the pipe, and motions for Sylvain Grenier to come down. Referee Mike Sparks tries to come down as well, but gets blasted by Grenier on the floor. Vince blasts Hogan with the pipe, and drops a leg on him but only gets a two count as Hogan kicks out and hulks up! Hogan beats up Granier and tosses him over the top. Vince tries to attack with a double axe handle, but Hogan no-sells it. Three punches, big boot, and three legdrops is enough for the win. They worked hard for two old guys so I give them credit for that. **1/2

The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
The story here is “HOLLYWOOD†Rock has accomplished everything in wrestling except beat Stone Cold Steve Austin @ WrestlerMania he’s currently 0-2 in mania matches against him and is currently 0-6 all-time against Austin in one-on-one matches But it that build wasn’t good enough for you Rock had the Rock in concert on the go-home edition of Raw But not everything was good news here as Austin suffered a panic attack the night before and spent the previous night in the hospital, but knowing this was his final match was able to gut this one out Austin’s entrance still gives me Goosebumps, it’s just the visual of the camera behind Austin and you see him taking that final walk down that aisle. Rock’s Hollywood theme is pretty great two, no brawl to start was mad weird but I liked it as Rocky knew every time he played into Austin’s game of brawling he lost so as soon as he felt Austin starting to control the match he would bail to the outside and Austin goes out after him meeting him in the aisle with a clothesline. Austin fires Rock into the guardrail, and then to the ringsteps, and Austin follows up dropping Rock on the security wall. A clothesline from Austin sends Rock into the Smackdown table, and Austin again drops Rock on the security wall. Austin then whips Rock into the ringsteps, and then fires him back into the ring. Austin continues to assault him until Earl Hebner gets in his face allowing Rock to clip the knee. Austin bails to the floor, and Rock sneaks out with another chop block. Rock slams the front of the left knee on the Smackdown announce table. Back in the ring, Rock stomps on the left knee. He drags him around the post where he wraps it around. In the middle of the ring, Austin comes back with a flurry of punches, but Rock gets control again thanks to a hard kick to the left knee again. Sharpshooter by The Rock near the ropes. Austin gets to the ropes after about a minute. Rock wraps Austin's leg around the ring post again. He puts on Austin's vest, grabs a bottle of water and takes a drink and Lawler calls it “Hollywood water†Anyway the cockiness of the Rock allows Austin to begin his comeback and totally ignores or forgets the knees, I know he was nervous but C’MON! Austin that’s wrestling 101. Rock ducks a clothesline, and hits a leaping clothesline of his own. When he gets up, Rock nips up and taunts the crowd by clapping and pointing at his head, I remember you could do that in “Here Comes The Pain†Anyway once Rock is done taunting the crowd, turns around and walks into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two. Rock still has the vest on. Austin goes for a Stunner; Rock blocks the kick and hits his own Stunner for a two. Rock hits three punches in a row and on the fourth Austin ducks and scores with the stunner but Rock kicks out at two. Austin throws the referee out of the way, and Rock delivers a low blow to regain control. Rock goes for the peoples elbow, but that misses. Austin goes for the stunner, but Rock blocks it and delivers a spinebuster. Rock finally takes off Austin’s vest, and delivers the peoples elbow, which gets a two count. Rock delivers a Rock Bottom, but Austin again kicks out at two. Rock gets in position, but Austin spins out. And Rock regains control and hits another Rock Bottom for a two count. HOLY SHIT! Austin finally gets to his feet again and turns into a third Rock Bottom and that finally gets the win for the Rock. Post-match: Rock right next to or is it over top of Austin and they exchanged some words. It was a mutual respect. Rock then goes out of the ring into the crowd and greets his mother and then wife before leaving Austin to have his moment in the ring. Really AMAZING! Way to finish this rivalry, both men just went out and did something that they didn’t do in their previous match and spent the majority of the match without resorting to a lot of brawling. Most of it was done in the ring. I think they proved once again why they can always have good matches together. ****1/4

WWE Championship: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar
I always forget Angle found out he needed neck fusion with about 3 weeks to go until Wrestlemania, I always think it’s during the match he fucks up his neck. So yeah Angle wrestles 20 minutes with a BEAST! With a broken freakin’ neck, so much respect for him. Angle grabs a hammerlock, but switches to a frontface lock. Lesnar firemans carries out, and grabs an armbar. Angle reverses with a firemans carry into an armbar of his own, Lesnar applies a headlock takeover, but Angle counters with a headscissor. Angle grabs a headlock takeover and hits the ropes and but runs into a shoulderblock. Angle takes him down with a single leg, and Lesnar hits a quick reversal but Angle elbows out, Angle hits the ropes, and runs into a back elbow. Lesnar follows up with a series of shoulderblocks in the corner and powerslams Kurt down for a two count. Angle ducks a clothesline and delivers a German suplex. Lesnar pops right up and delivers a clothesline. And bails to the floor, Lesnar chase Angle back into the ring but gets met with a boot as he tries to get back in. Lesnar stops an Irish whip attempt and delivers a press slam to Angle. Lesnar now Irish whip Angle to the corner, and goes charging in but Kurt gets the boot up. Angle delivers a German suplex into the top turnbuckle, and Lesnar rolls to the floor. Angle goes outside after him and drives Lesnar into the barricade before rolling him back in. Angle connects with a back suplex for a two count and grabs a bow and arrow submission, but Lesnar stands up with it driving Angle back first into the turnbuckle. Brock stomps Angle down in the corner, but Angle reverses an Irish whip sending him into the corner before connecting with a belly-to-belly suplex, and delivers a pair of knees to the ribs sending Lesnar to the floor. Back in, Kurt runs into a spinebuster as both men struggle to their feet, and Lesnar delivers a clothesline, and then several shoulder blocks in the corner. Lesnar is now in full comeback mode with a pair of belly-to-belly suplexes for two counts. But Angle reverses a go behind from Brock and delivers four rolling Germans. Angle goes for the Angle slam, but Brock counters into an F-5 attempt, Angle then counters to an inside trip and locks in the ankle lock. Lesnar rolls through so Angle switches to a half crab. Lesnar reaches the ropes to break the hold, and Angle delivers another running knee to the ribs. That isn’t enough so Kurt charges again, but Lesnar delivers a backdrop sending Angle over the top to the floor. Angle comes back with a phenomenal release German suplex that picks up a two count. Kurt connects with the Angle slam but that only gets a two count. Kurt sets up for another Angle slam, but Lesnar counters and connects with the F-5, but is slow to cover and Angle kicks out at two. Lesnar picks up Angle, but Angle grabs the leg and locks in the ankle lock. Kurt grapevines the legs, but Lesnar is still able to drag him to the ropes. Angle tries to go back to the ankle lock, but gets kicked off. Lesnar goes for another F-5, but Kurt counters into a small package for two. He now goes for the Angle slam, but Brock counters into the F5, but decides not to pin him instead he decides to go to the top rope. And goes for the FUCKIN’ SHOOTING STAR PRESS! But lands on his FUCKIN’ head damn near breaking his neck. Kurt covers, but Lesnar gets out at two. Lesnar is able to deliver the third F-5 for the win. Post-match: Kurt shakes Brock’s hand and shares a hug. Lesnar is clearly concussed and I give credit to Kurt for getting him through the final F-5. ****

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 03/31/2003
Seattle, Washington

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Chief Morley & Lance Storm
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

IT’S ROCK APPRECIATION NIGHT!

Stone Cold Steve Austin comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, he says that he's always been very honest since being in the WWE, last night The Rock was the better man, and Stone Cold got his ass whipped. Just cause Rock was the better man last night, doesn't mean he will tonight. Austin calls out the Rock, saying he would like to shake his hand and appreciate him. Instead, Eric Bischoff comes out, he says Austin is a vengeful bastard and wants to do more than shake Rock's hand. Austin laughs and says he's right. Bischoff says Austin won't be kicking any ass any time soon, because he found out Austin's secret. Austin spent the night before Wrestlemania in the hospital; Bischoff says his lawyers found out that there is a lot "wrong" with him. Austin's doctors said that his spinal cord is "all screwed up“ Austin says he doesn't appreciate Bischoff digging up his personal information and invites Bischoff to the ring so he can tell this to his face, he says that if he wants to raise hell and Bischoff nor the doctors can do anything about it. Bischoff says that Austin is a liability to the WWE and Austin's position has been terminated, in other words, HE’S FIRED! Austin says that Bischoff can't fire him and Bischoff says that a fed-ex copy of the termination notice is on its way to Austin's home.

The Hurricane vs. Triple H (w/Ric Flair)
Hurricane gives his mask to a fan, but Flair steals it and throws it on the floor then stamps on it. Triple H attacks on the outside to start, and tosses him once they get back in. Hurricane fights back, but gets counters with the DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER. Hunter whips Hurricane but he counters out with a suplex to set up the neckbreaker and a Shining Wizard for two. Hurricane goes after Flair, but Flair pulls him out. To the top, and a crossbody gets two. Triple H goes for the Pedigree but that gets reversed by Hurricane into one of his own. Hunter catapults him into the corner. He comes back with Eye of the Hurricane for two, however. Hunter misses a charge, but the Blockbuster misses this time connects with the Pedigree for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Kane and RVD are talking; Kane says that since they didn't win the titles last night, they should go their separate ways. RVD says that's cool, but he got back from Morley's office and said they have a rematch with no outside interference tonight. Kane likes it, but he knows Morley and says there has to be a catch? RVD says that all he had to do was agree to join Bischoff's administration if they lost. Kane got upset that RVD would sign them up for that without asking him first.

Scott Steiner vs. Christopher Nowinski
Chris Nowinski comes out in a face mask, he says since they both graduated from highly respected universities, he's asking Scott to not hit him in the face and undo his recent surgery. Scott says he's wasting his time, and will not only punch him in the nose, but stick his foot so far up his ass that he'll be using his shoelaces as floss. Scotty SQUASH! At one point in the match Nowinski lands on top of his head off a Belly to Belly, then moments later Steiner takes off Chris' mask, punches him in the nose, and puts on the Steiner Recliner. He yells, "I'M THE GREATEST SON OF A BITCH THAT EVER LIVED" Nowinski taps.

Terri asks Austin if what Bischoff said was true. Austin says that yes, his neck sucks, and that he's fired so it doesn't matter.

At the announce table, Lawler talks about Rock Appreciation Night, and JR says Bischoff has done the worst thing a person can do by robbing Austin of his dreams and his job. He looks RIGHT into the camera and says calmly that Eric Bischoff is a no good lousy son of a bitch. I don’t how he got the man’s medical reports, but he couldn’t beat him and he couldn’t find anyone who could. And this is what he’d done. He’ll burn in hell for it.

Bubba calms D-Von down about what happened on Heat, and says they need to protect their jobs. Morley and Lance walk in and say that tonight has been changed to a three team elimination match with the four of them and RVD/Kane, but Morley says it's a three way in name only. He says their job is to help eliminate RVD & Kane, and then lay down for them so as to keep THEIR tag titles. D-Von is pissed, but Bubba says it's ok.

Booker T is getting his knee wrapped by medical personnel when Ric Flair comes in and taunts him, Booker grabs him by the throat, and yells that his punk ass cost him the World Title last night, and if he EVER gets in his face again, he'll break his punk ass in half, and he throws Flair out of the room.

Maven vs. Rosey (w/Rico)
FUCK OFF!

Booker T vs. Chris Jericho
Before the match, Jericho gets on the mic. He says last night, he had one of his best matches ever, and as good as Shawn was, he was better. He says he deserved to win that match, but what people will remember is Shawn lying on the mat as Jericho walked off and now he’s going to take his frustrations out on Booker T. Booker is still selling the leg injury from last night. Jericho goes right at it by stomps it down. He works it over on the ropes, but Booker fights back until another shot to the leg drops him. Booker counters the Walls with a cradle for two. Flapjack connects and Booker spinkicks him, but Jericho comes back with a Lionsault that misses. Booker kicks him down again and Flair runs in for the DQ. Post-Match: Booker brawls with Flair, but Jericho attacks from behind for a 2 on 1. They work on the leg, and Triple H comes down to help. He hits the Pedigree, and Flair puts on the Figure Four, but Shawn Michaels runs down. He cleans house and sets Triple H up for some Sweet Chin Music, but Jericho hits him with a clothesline. And all three beat down on Shawn, and Jericho applies the Walls of Jericho. Booker T now tries to save, but Triple H kicks him in the knee several times to cut him off. He then applies the Indian Deathlock, and Flair taunts both faces in the holds.

Jeff Hardy vs. Steven Richards (w/Victoria)
FUCK OFF!

Backstage: Stone Cold Steve Austin shakes the hand of a group of RAW crew members who bid him farewell  Elsewhere, Stacy walks in on Test, who is talking on the phone, complimenting the person on their "spread" Stacy innocently asks who he was talking to and Test gets extremely defensive. Test tries to get Goldust to back him up, but Goldust spazzes out and tells Stacy the truth

Backstage: The Rock yells at the crew to cheer up, and Austin being gone doesn't matter, since The Rock is still here. He says they'll go out and party after tonight and get pie all night long, and they all get happy now. Rock clarifies and says they can't come in, obviously, but they can have fun watching The Rock party, and it'll be a great night.

Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships: Chief Morley & Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. The Dudley Boyz
Kane & RVD start with the Dudleyz and they brawl, Kane & RVD end up getting the upper hand. RVD follows everyone out with a plancha, as does Kane. Back in, D-Von and RVD are fighting for a hammerlock and Rob botching a spinkick then repeating the spot for two. D-Von tags in Bubba, so RVD tags in Kane. Now those two begin to go back-and-forth with punches, but Kane knocks him down before missing an elbow. Dudleyz connect on the “Wazzup†behind the ref’s back, RVD comes in and spears D-Von in the corner, and kicks Bubba down, as well as Morley & Storm. Rolling Thunder for D-Von gets two. Storm brings a chair in, but D-Von steals it from Morley, only to get VanDaminated for the pin to eliminate the Dudleyz. We take a commercial break as everyone regroups. Storm gets two on RVD after a DDT. Half-crab, but RVD makes the ropes. Hot tag Kane and he KILLS! All and even adds the corner clotheslines. Side slam on Morley gets two. Another one gets two. He heads up for the flying clothesline, which gets two. RVD & Kane double-team Morley, but Storm breaks it up. Morley goes low on Kane and gets two. Kane chokeslams both of them and RVD connects with a frog splash for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Eric Bischoff says that if we thought Austin's firing was shocking, to stay tuned for something BIG! The ink on this contract isn't even dry yet!

[video=youtube;HAmN89ZHLYo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAmN89ZHLYo[/video]​

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 04/03/2003
Spokane, WA

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle,
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

Stephanie McMahon comes out onto the stage to open the show and gets on the mic. She states that Wrestlemania 19 was one of the greatest events of all time (I don’t disagree at all) She then goes on to say says that all WWE superstars put their bodies on the line at Wrestlemania, both Brock & Angle were injured at Mania, and neither is here tonight. Brock has a bad concussion, and Kurt has his broken neck and a bad hamstring. Brock should be back next week, but Kurt will be out for 2 months. Steph then announces an 8 man #1 Contender's tournament over the next three weeks, winner will go on to face Brock Lesnar at Backlash.

Quarterfinal Match: The Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio
Rey uses his quickness to piss off Taker, and gets tossed around until he tries attacking the knee. Undertaker bails, but gets met with a big boot on the way back in followed by a corner clothesline. Rey fights up, but Taker kills him with a straight punch. Back up again, and he reverses a chokeslam attempt into a sloppy tornado DDT, 619 gets two as Taker kicks out huge, and then the West Coast Pop is even blocked and turned into an AWESOME! Last Ride for the win. Loved the big man vs. little man story here, and what made it good was it wasn’t a total squash. It had moments when it looked like Rey could pull off the upset. It’s a shame we had to wait 7 more years until round 2. **1/2

Post-Match: Undertaker is about to leave but instead, gets back into the ring. He stands over Rey and helps him up to his feet.

Backstage: Vince McMahon shows up and tells a guard to tell him as soon as Hogan shows up.

Matt & Shannon come out to do commentary, Mattitude.com says “Matt was the only Hardy to wrestle at WrestleMania this year, Matt has read his book 12 timesâ€

Brian Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia)
Kendrick’s theme song is cracks me up. This was prob around 2 and half but they crammed a shit ton of goodness to this, Knoble was vicious in the early seconds but Kendrick would use his quickness to counter and begin to fly around all over the place. At one point in the match Noble tries a German suplex, but Kendrick lands on his feet, only to walk into a powerslam. Noble goes up and sunset flips him for two. Kendrick slugs back, but Nidia pulls him out. Noble hits her by mistake. Back in the ring and Kendrick hits the Sliced Bread #2 for the win. Post-Match: Matt and Shannon come in, and Matt throws Kendrick over, and Kendrick takes another nutty bump. Matt gets on the mic and calls out Brock Lesnar to a Champion vs. Champion match next week, when Brock is done faking a concussion Kendrick comes back in and fights them, but Matt puts him back down with the Twist of Fate. **1/2

FBI Promo This is hilariously bad apparently they robbed a truck driver for “driving bad†or maybe they were trying to hype up the back city New York is?

Brock/Angle highlights from Mania; DAT SHOOTING STAR PRESS!

Quarterfinal Match: Chris Benoit vs. A-Train
Benoit tried to take him down, but A-Train knees him on the mat several times, but Benoit takes him down with a Crossface and they fight over that, with Train powering out. Benoit puts him back in it. But A-Train rolls into an elevated camel clutch. Benoit bails and A-Train gets two back in the ring. He works the neck and pounds away in the corner, by applying a chinlock. Benoit fights back, but gets thrown around like a toy (Benoit’s selling He tries a sunset flip back in, but gets guillotined. Choking, Benoit fights back, but Train keeps shrugging him off and viciously pounding him down. Train blocks a suplex, but misses a charge and Benoit connects with the rolling Germans, Diving headbutt gets two. But A-Train comes back with his bicycle kick, but Benoit fights into another Crossface and that’s enough to get A-Train to tap. This totally ruled. Benoit sells was top notch, but to tell the truth doesn’t Benoit always sell and make his opponent look like a million bucks. A-Train is totally vicious and brutal I A-Train is prob the most I’ve ever enjoyed Albert/Sweet T’s gimmick. ‘Cause when he was the A-Train gimmick he was just brutal and nasty plus he got to work Taker, Benoit, Eddie, Angle on a weekly basis. **3/4

Backstage: Steph enters Vince's office and asks what her father is doing here tonight. Vince says that he's gonna do something with Hulk Hogan that he should have done a long time ago; she says not to do anything he'll regret.

Quarterfinal Match: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena
Cole is still calling himself a gangsta, but he’s now calling Taz a “G†Cena attacks Eddie to start, just viciously beating him down then attacking him in the corner. Delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a bearhug, JESUS! Eddie escapes with a belly-to-belly suplex that gets two. But Cena goes right back to work with some shitty looking chinlock but back to the bearhug, and Eddie fights out with a headbutt. Cena misses a charge and Eddie forearms him down and connects with a pair of clotheslines. Triple rolling vertical suplexes get two. And Eddie now heads up, and connects with the missile dropkick for two. Cena goes for the FU, but Eddie blocks, so Cena drops him with an electric chair instead. AWESOME! Eddie dropkicks him and grabs Cena’s chain, but the ref prevents it from coming into play. Eddie gets a backdrop suplex and goes up, but misses the frog splash. He tries a ‘rana instead, but walks into the FU for the shocking win Undertaker vs. Cena, next week. **3/4

Hulk Hogan along with his punk kid Nick and Jimmy Hart arrive at the arena in a black limo.

Torrie Wilson comes down to the ring for this thing called “Torrie Wilson’s playboy coming out party†She gets on the mic and thanks everybody for everything, baffled that so many people would want to see her naked Torrie teases taking off her top but gets interrupted by SABLE! Sable sarcastically apologizes for interrupting Torrie and announces that as of tonight, SABLE IS BACK! She says that she's been gone for a long time, but some things never change all her men still, come to see her and the women, and still wanna be her. Sable then says that she was the first WWE Diva to pose for Playboy and there isn't enough room on Smackdown! For two Playboy Divas, She thinks she and Torrie will be the "best of friends" Sable leans over and gently kisses Torrie on the lips.

Team Angle vs. Team Tajaki (Tajiri & Funaki)
Team Angle goes on the attack right away, but Tajiri kicks Benjamin from behind and Team Tajaki double team him. Funaki holds both champs off, but Benjamin pounds him down and Team Angle connects with a double-teams with an elbow. Haas wants Tajiri, so Tajiri tags in and gets a leg lariat for two, he begins to chop away, then kicks the shit out of both Haas and Shelton, Team Angle then use some illegal tactics to gain control again, and Haas gets a backdrop suplex for two. Overhead suplex sets up the leapfrog choke for two. Benjamin goes to a Boston crab, but Tajiri comes back with a handspring elbow on both and makes the hot tag. Funaki goes hits at least 5 backdrops on both men and crossbodies Haas for two. Tarantula on Benjamin and Funaki sets up for his tornado DDT on Haas, but he blocks and finishes Funaki with the Haas of Pain for the win. GOD DAMN 2003 SMACKDOWN, GOODNESS! **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: The FBI walks and Nunzio says they need to have a little sit down with The Undertaker. Elsewhere Josh Mathews ask a leaving Cena how he feels about having to face Taker next week in the semi-finals. Cena cuts a RAP!

Backstage: Undertaker sits down with the FBI to talk about a problem they are having, Nunzio says that they targeted Nathan Jones for what he did to Palumbo last week. Undertaker says that he appreciates them coming to talk to him like me and he has a problem with the FBI attacking Nathan Jones at Wrestlemania. Undertaker then says that Nathan Jones was supposed to be his tag team partner at Wrestlemania and now that he has a problem with the FBI boys. Nunzio says that he has no choice. The FBI stands up, and suddenly Nathan Jones walks in and evens the odds. The FBI backs down, saying they will deal with it another time.

Quarterfinals Match: The Big Show vs. Rhyno
Rhyno tries to brawl to start, but Show overpowers him. Rhyno comes back again and gets nowhere. Show chokes him out and headbutts him down; Show would follow that with a big Hiptoss and more choking. Sideslam gets two. But Rhyno counters Snake Eye, but Show keeps throwing him around. Show misses a charge and Rhyno connects with the GORE! But A-Train runs in for the DQ. Post-Match: A-Train and Show lay out Rhyno, Semi-Finals next week are Cena vs. Taker and Benoit vs. Rhyno

Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic, He admits that he misjudged Hulk Hogan and underestimated the power of Hulkamania. He says he intends to call Hulk Hogan out to the ring and apologize. Hogan comes out now, with “standing ovation†Hulk Hogan tells Vince that he's listening, he says he's a realist, and he has to deal with the reality of their match. He accepts the fact that Hulk Hogan beat the hell out of him and he wants to bury the hatchet and turn the clock back 20 years. Vince says that if Hulk can find it in his heart to forgive him, maybe they can be friends again. Hogan refuses, Vince says he can't blame him, and says he probably had that coming, and starts to leave the ring. Hulk stops him, and holds out his hand, and Vince shakes it! Vince backs out of the ring with a smirk on his face. Hulk gets on the mic and says "thank you" to the Boss. Hulk's music starts to play, but Vince clears his throat and cuts the music. Vince says "Thank you Hulk Hogan for the Hulkamaniacs for all the memories" and says that all that's left of Hulkamania is "memories" Vince says Hulk may have beaten him at Mania, but Mr McMahon NEVER LOSES! And he's gonna pay Hulk every dollar of his contract to STAY AT HOME! Vince says that he's gonna deny the Hulkamania's the privilege of seeing Hulk Hogan. Hulkamania will rot while sitting out his contract, all the Hulkamaniacs will forget about him because they won't see him. Vince says that finally Hulkamania will die a slow agonizing DEATH! And if Hulk Hogan doesn't like it, he'll be waiting in the parking lot! FUCK YEAH!

In the parking lot, Hogan walks as Vince stands in front of Hogan's limo, talking shit. As soon as Hogan gets close, Vince calls security in, and like 10 cops stand between them as Vince keeps talking shit Jimmy Hart & Nick are in the limo, begging Hulk to get in. Vince yells at Hulk Hogan, telling him to get out of his life forever, Hulk Hogan reluctantly gets into the limo with Vince throwing his bags in the trunk and also kicking it, and it drives off. Vince once again states HE NEVER LOSES!

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 04/07/2003
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

WWE Women's Championship: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
I must say I really enjoyed that far more than I really wanted to, they got a good amount of time to sell the story of Jazz as this vicious and relentless bitch but Trish had pure heart and was able to overcome the odds superwoman style. The match ends when Trish hits the Stratusfaction, but the ref doesn't see Jazz's foot on the bottom rope as he counts to three. I should also mention at one point in the match Jazz stiffed the shit out of here and busted Trish's lip. **1/2 - **3/4

Backstage: The Rock arrives at the arena, he right away walks into Bischoff's office. Rock says he's going to call out Goldberg tonight, and slap him back to yesterday for what he did to The Rock. Elsewhere RVD & KANE, are talking RVD says that Kane didn't even want to have the match last week and everything's cool when you listen to RVD! RVD then talks about smoking weed his basement then Kane brings up how he found and played with a skunk but RVD thought he was talking about weed

Backstage: Teddy Long and Rodney Mack talk to Jazz, and say she was a victim of discrimination and racism. Teddy asks her to join them and she accepts. All three walk off together.

Backstage: The Rock congratulates Trish on winning her match, he then asks if she's sweaty and hot because of her match, or cause she's been thinking of the Rock? Trish assures The Rock that it was because of her match. The Rock turns around and sees Jeff Hardy standing there. The Rock tells Jeff Hardy he's busy with Trish but Jeff says that the last time he saw the Rock, Goldberg was kicking his ass. The Rock says that before he confronts Goldberg, he'll whoop Jeff Hardy's candy ass and tells Jeff to go put on his paint and maxi-pads, and says Trish can watch.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chief Morley
This was pretty dull throughout, but the moment of the match was RVD sweet German suplex with a bridge that only got a two count, the match would end when RVD goes for A knee to set up a standing moonsault and Rolling Thunder, but Storm puts Morley’s foot on the ropes. RVD spinkicks him and goes up, then decides to hit Storm with a crossbody to the floor instead. Storm keeps holding the leg, and Morley gets the pin off a DDT

Scott Steiner comes out for a match, and Nowinski gets on the mic. He says Steiner is just like America, strong and arrogant, but might doesn't make right. He says we've gotten so blinded by patriotism that we actually think terrorism can be stomped out by invading a sovereign nation. He says when they realize they can't beat us on a battlefield, they'll get irrational and desperate with dangerous insurgent attacks, and that's when America gets hurt. Of course, this can't POSSIBLY happen so he's booed and Steiner attacks. He slams him on the steel ramp and puts on the Steiner Recliner.

Bill Goldberg arrives at the arena

Backstage: Christian comes into the Rock's dressing room and asks him to sign a Scorpion King DVD. Christian says that it is for a friend... who is also named Christian The Rock says that Christian has charisma and never uses it to the best of his ability, Rock also tells Christian to seize the day and do his thing. When he walks into a room he has to OWN! the room, not this room as this is the Rocks room. Christian says he will become a "Born Again Christian" Christian also says he doesn't care what everybody says, the Rock is way better than Bill Goldberg. The Rock takes offense to that comment and says he's going to call Bill Goldberg out right now.

Trish and Jeff Hardy are walking down the hallways as Jeff is on his way to his match. However, Trish stops him and decides to make out with him UGH! (Thankfully this would be Jeff's last Raw)

The Rock vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff really shit the bed in this one, boy Rock was trying his best to make Jeff look legitimate against him but Jeff made is clearly he doesn't give a fuck. Or maybe he was trying but the nervous caused his moves to look sloppy and shit 3/4 of the time. JESUS! This guy fuckin' sucks, even Jeff's troll people's elbow looked pathetic thankfully that would lead to a Rock Bottom and the Rock would win. Post-Match: Rock picks Jeff off the mat and just tosses him over the top rope. Rock would then get on the mic and call out Goldberg by saying "just bring it, BITCH!" Goldberg comes out now, and they stare each other down. The Rock asks if he wants this, and Goldberg says to bring it, but Rock says "...naaaaah." and bails out. Christian tries to run from the crowd and attack, but Goldberg hits him with the Spear. Rock slides back in to try and take advantage, but Goldberg turns around and Rock bails again. THEN JR CALLS THE ROCK A "CHICKEN SHIT" ON LIVE AIR

During the commercial break Terri tries to interview the Rock as Rock is trying to leave without even getting dressed, first he straight up tells her to shut up Terri asks The Rock why he said no to a match with Bill Goldberg. The Rock's response is... BECAUSE! And he leaves in the snow.

Kane vs. The Dudley Boyz
FUCK OFF!

[video=youtube;495AUpZhS30]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=495AUpZhS30[/video]​

Stone Cold Steve Austin's music hits and the crowd goes nuts! Austin's pickup truck pulls into the arena, and, Eric Bischoff comes out in an Austin vest and talks about how he fired Austin and explains why. He shows the clips of JR blowing up last week, and calls JR onto the stage. He says if JR wants to say anything in his defense, it's now. JR says he regrets nothing, and Eric is a lousy son of a bitch. JR quits and walks off, and Eric yells that he's fired.

Goldust vs. Steven Richards (w/Victoria)
Short and to the point I guess, It's nice to see Golddy win a match.

Backstage: Flair has Jericho and Triple H bury the hatchet. Jericho says if they get along and bury the hatchet, he'll help him bury Booker T and Hunter says if they get along as a team, he'll make sure Shawn never gets in his face again, and they shake on it.

La Resistance vignette airs.

Booker T & Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H & Chris Jericho (w/ Ric Flair)
all 4 men brawl to start and the team of Booker & Michaels clean house, and Michaels follows them out with a plancha. Back in, Booker punches away on Hunter, but gets atomic dropped. Booker clotheslines him for two. Shawn comes in on the arm and works it over, and Shawn does the same to Jericho. Jericho reverses Shawn and works him over in the corner, and tags in Hunter but Shawn forearms Hunter down and warms up the band. Jericho interrupts and which allows Hunter to go for the Pedigree, which Shawn escapes and begins to get the better of Hunter until Flair pulls down the top rope and begins to choke Shawn with his jacket, as we cut to a limo arriving in the parking lot and go to commercial. Hunter and Jericho now begin to work the back of Shawn for a while but Shawn gets a quick crossbody for two, but gets clotheslined down again. Hunter comes back in and applies the sleeper. Shawn reverses, but Hunter a backdrop suplex for two. Shawn fights back, but gets hit with a leg lariat. Bulldog and Lionsault, but it misses. Hot tag Booker, and he's all over Hunter. He unloads the chops and gets a backdrop and back kick for two. DDT gets another two as it looks like Hunter forgot to kick out this fuckin' guy. Spinebuster gets two, as Booker cleans house and spin-a-rooni, Jericho catches him with the Walls but Shawn superkicks him to break it up, Hunter comes in looking for the PEDIGREE on Booker but Booker reverses it into a roll up for the win. Post-Match: Ric Flair runs in and attacks Booker T's leg. Shawn Michaels makes the save, beating on Ric Flair. Chris Jericho comes in and smashes Shawn Michaels with a chair and Shawn is busted again, Chris Jericho handcuffs Shawn Michaels to the ropes. Hurricane runs down but he gets beat up too Suddenly Kevin Nash comes out to some new music he attacks Flair and Jericho killing them with big boots, as Hunter rolls out and Nash kills Jericho with the Jackknife Powerbomb! Nash grabs the chair as Hunter slides in with the sledgehammer. They stare each other down, but Hunter thinks better of it and bails out to end the show.

 

[Crippler]

WWE Smackdown 04/10/2003
Chicago, Illinois

WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Angle
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Matt Hardy

[video=youtube;QXido9oyU34]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXido9oyU34[/video]
Wanna play a game? Spot the best in the world and a asshole ​

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy (w/Shannon Moore)
Mattitude.com says “Matt is a New York Times Bestseller - of course, Matt is currently the longest reigning singles champion on SD†So before the match Matt lays the Cruiserweight title on the mat like he’s daring Brock to cross the line, well Brock just kicks his title out of the way. Brock then takes the WWE title from around his waist and shows it off and puts his on the mat, well Matt tries to take it off the floor but can’t as Brock has his foot on it. Moore tries to interfere and Brock takes his attention of Matt but a split second and that allows Matt pick off the title off the ground and nails Brock with the belt to start, and gets two off that. Matt now begins to choke away and lays in the boots, Matt picks him up and connects with a neckbreaker for two. Seated dropkicks and Matt keeps on it with the Austin rope straddle. Brock, however, powers out into an electric chair. Brock kills him with clotheslines and gets an overhead suplex or two, still selling the neck, I LOVE THIS GUY! Brick now pounds away some more but Shannon tries to helps out and gets murdered, allowing Matt to try a Twist of Fate, which is reversed into the F5 for the win. Super fun, but super short. **1/2 - **3/4

Roddy Piper reminisces about the first ever “Piper's Pit†It was with Frankie Williams.

Recap of Vince benching Hulk Hogan last week and sending him home. FUCK YEAH!

Sable comes out to sit at ringside, she reads Torries’ Playboy and is looking mighty fine still.

Brian Kendrick & Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble & Nidia
As predicted Kendrick and Noble rule the entire time they got, just beating on each other Indy style. At one point Noble overhead suplexs Kendrick into the turnbuckles, OH SHIT! Nidia comes in and gets a seated dropkick for two, Noble hits a rather vicious backdrop suplex for two. But Noble hits the chinlock Kendrick powers out with a jawbreaker and makes the comeback, but Noble goes to the knee up until Kendrick hits him with an enzuigiri and both are down. Noble & Nidia try a rocket launcher, but it misses and Torrie gets the hot tag. Nidia gets sent into the turnbuckles and gets two after some chops. A sloppy clothesline out of the corner, and Kendrick hits Noble with a missile dropkick to get rid of him. Torrie connects with a neckbreaker for two, but Noble pulls her out. Back in, Nidia hits Noble by mistake and Torrie hits the DDT for the win. **1/2

Backstage: Benoit congratulates Brock on winning the WWE title, calling him "One True Warrior" Benoit says that he looks forward to challenging him at Backlash. Rhyno steps in and says that Benoit has to get past him in the tournament first, and says he's winning and going to face Brock, and Brock wishes them both luck in beating the hell out of each other, but at Backlash, here comes the pain.

Semi-Finals Match: Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
Hard lockup in the corner to start and both men realize that not going to work. So Benoit goes for a takedown, which Rhyno counters. Rhyno blocks an armbar takedown and uses a straight jacket choke, but Benoit suplexes out for two. Rhyno tries a chinlock, but Benoit reverses to a hammerlock, Rhyno gets the wristlock, and we’re back to square one. Rhyno grabs a headlock and overpowers Benoit for two. Vertical suplex gets another two. Benoit fights back with chops and connects with a clothesline, Benoit now backs Rhyno into the corner and delivers some NASTY chops that brings him to his knees, but Rhyno fights back with his own and kicks him down for two. Back to the chinlock, but Benoit fights out and knees him down, for two. Benoit misses a dropkick and Rhyno quickly goes for a cover for two. He tries a bodyscissors but adds an arm or hammerlock, but Benoit counters him for two. Rhyno pounds him in the corner and gets a belly-to-belly to set up the GOAR, but Benoit dodges him. Rhyno keeps pounding the ribs that sets up a HUGE SPINEBUSTER for two. Benoit comes back with a rebound clothesline and nails Rhyno with a flying headbutt, and that gets two. Benoit goes for the Crossface but can’t get the Germans either, back to the Crossface attempt, but he still can’t get anything to work so he finally ends up with a simple backslide for the quick win, Post-Match: Benoit and Rhyno shake hands and leave together. ***

As they assemble the "Pit" set in the ring, Vince McMahon's music hits and comes down to the ring, we then cut to clips of the “Piper's Pit†with Snuka. Vince begins to brag about what he did to Hogan by saying he gave Hogan a lethal dose of leprosy. He calls Piper and Piper’s pit another one of his creations, Vince introduces the host of Piper's Pit and brings out Roddy Piper. Piper yells that Vince didn't create Piper's Pit, and it was all his work. Vince says that's right, but Piper's also made something of his own lately, and points out how fat Roddy is Vince says he thinks Piper is thinking about kicking his ass right now and suggests that Piper might rather KISS his ass instead? Piper tells Vince to sit down to give him a piece of his mind, so Piper shits on Vince for all his failures, by saying that Vince started off as a failed RockNRoll promoter then the failed Bodybuilding Federation, Xtreme Football League. Piper says that the only job Vince has been able to hold, is the one his daddy gave him. Vince stands up and says that they have one thing in common, they hate Hulk Hogan. Piper tells Vince that HE DID create Hulkamania, and speaks to the camera about it. Vince buddies up to Piper with his arm around him, Piper tells him to get his hand off him, cause he hates Vince too Piper tells Vince that he's a "son of a bitch" So Vince tells Piper that he's a "son of a bitch"! Piper takes his jacket off and says "it takes an SOB to know an SOB" Vince extends his hand and Piper shakes it, saying he hates Hulk Hogan too. Vince leaves the ring, and Piper cuts the music and says that Vince did something that Piper couldn't do. Piper says that Vince got beat by Hulk Hogan. All of a sudden Rikishi comes out with a coconut in his hand, Rikishi says that he remembers when he was a kid, watching what Roddy did to Jimmy Snuka. Rikishi says he's been waiting a long time to do what he's about to do. Piper panics and snatches the coconut out of Rikishi's hand, Sean O'Haire comes out of nowhere and clotheslines Rikishi. O'Haire then shatters a wooden chair over Rikishi's back and Piper smashes Rikishi over the head with the coconut, breaking it into pieces.

FUCKIN’ LA RESISTANCE PROMO!

Team Angle vs. Rey Mysterio & Tajiri
Before the match, Team Angle come down, and Haas demands a moment of silent prayer for Kurt Angle. This doesn't happen, and Shelton says this is why the Cubs haven't won a World Series in like 100 years Tajiri counters a wristlock with a kick to the head of Haas and quickly gets the Tarantula, Mysterio tags in and adds a dropkick that gets two. Haas dumps him and clotheslines him on the top rope, but Benjamin walks right into a tilt-a-whirl and a dropkick. Armdrag and Rey bails under Haas and gets a cheap shot, but Benjamin kicks him off the apron. Back in, that gets two. And Haas gets killed with a gutbuster for two. Rey reverses a slam for two, but runs into a knee. Haas charges and hits elbow, but Rey can’t make it up the ropes. Rey counter Haas and makes the hot tag to Tajiri. He hits Haas with a rana and a handspring clothesline for two. Benjamin comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner, as Rey takes the blind tag and drops him down to the mat. But walks into a Haas clothesline, however. Team Angle tries a Doomsday Device, but Haas has to settle for a powerbomb, as Tajiri sets up a 619 for Rey, and a springboard legdrop get the win. Tajari & Rey as a tag team, WIN! ***

Backstage: Josh Mathews interviews Taker about the comments Cena made to him last week, Taker says he expects to be respected in the backstage area and that John Cena has shown a lack of respect backstage lately. Taker then goes on to say he’s had more shower time than Cena has had match time and now He says he's gonna beat him, which is gonna shut him up, and then he's gonna bust him up.

Nathan Jones vs. Bill DeMott
FUCK OFF!

Backstage: The FBI talks to the cops and says a bunch of stuff was stolen out of their bags, but they think they know who did it. Elsewhere Sable goes into the bathroom where Torrie Wilson is showering, Sable says that she enjoyed watching Torrie's match tonight and congratulates Torrie on her Playboy, stating that it's almost selling as well as hers. Sable heads out the door with Torrie's towel but Torrie pokes her head out and asks for her towel back. Sable holds it open and forces Torrie to walk naked across the room to get it.

Backstage: the cops question Nathan Jones about stuff, Taker comes over and accuses the police of questioning him just because he has a record. If Jones was black I would have enjoyed this allot more.

Semi-Finals: The Undertaker vs. John Cena
Taker hammers him in the corner to start and just viciously punches away on Cena head, Cena tries to comeback. But Taker knees him down, and chokeslams him. Taker goes to cover him but only gets two, as Cena gets his foot on the ropes and bails and we take a break. This Video show what happen during the commercial Anyway it’s still all Taker as he rams his head into the steps and continues with strikes on Cena. Taker places Cena on the apron and connects with the legdrop. Back in, corner clothesline and Taker slugs away, but Cena grabs his chain and uses it to take over. Taker beat him up for like 10 straight minutes . As Taker hits the floor and Cena starts attacking the arm. Cena hits a dropkick to the arm on the way back in, and Cena stomps it on the stairs. Back in, Taker uses the injured elbow to knock Cena down again and hits “OLD SCHOOL! So much for that offensive flurry. Last Ride is reversed to a single-arm DDT by Cena that gets two. Cena goes to an armbar, but Taker again slugs him down. Cena keeps hitting the arm, and Taker keeps ignoring him and slugging him down. Taker comes back with Snake Eyes and a big boot, Taker charges and bumps the ref, and Cena nails him with a spinebuster. Taker gets to his feet first and connects with the Last Ride, no ref. The FBI runs but Taker fights them off, until Palumbo uses a chair and Cena crawls over for the pin. If Taker sold the arm more and maybe gave Cena more than 2 minutes of offense in a 15 minutes match I think I might have enjoyed it more.

Smackdown goes off the air: Cena is celebrating up the ramp, but the he comes right back down like Vince and co told him to redo the celebrations anyway he does but now he gets in the ring and hits one of the worse looking punches I’ve ever seen. Well he and Taker begin to brawl and Taker wins by finishing him off with the Last Ride. Cena rolls out and Taker begins to celebrate with the fans slapping hand and poses with the American flag

 

[Crippler]

WWE Raw 04/14/2003
Richmond, Virginia

WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Triple H
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam & Kane
WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus

Kevin Nash comes out to open the show, and he gets on the mic. He says 9 months is a long time to be gone, but he's glad to be back but in a way, he's not so glad to be back. Nash says that after his surgery, Shawn Michaels & Triple H both called him every day. But now he'd watch RAW every week and watch Shawn & Triple H try to kill each other. He worked hard to come back so he can hang with his buddies, but he comes back and Shawn & Triple H are going at it again. Nash says he doesn't give a damn about Eric Bischoff, and says his friends stick together. He yells at them to knock it off. Suddenly, Triple H's music hits and Hunter comes down to the ring and gives Nash a huge hug. Triple H says that it's good to see Kevin Nash back. Triple H says he understand where Kevin Nash is coming from, but his issues with HBK will never come to an end. He’d just as soon slap Shawn in the face. Suddenly, Shawn Michaels' music hits and Michaels comes down to the ring, he immediately gets in the face of Triple H and Nash holds the two apart. Michaels says that Triple H is the reason for everything bad in this business Nash asks if they can't all just get along! Triple H says, no, they can't get along, and tells Kevin Nash to make a choice, HBK or HHH. Triple H says that if Nash comes with him, he will stand one step behind him and no matter what anybody says, HE IS THE MAN around here and calls the shots. Triple H says that at least he'll shoot straight with Nash, as opposed to Shawn Michaels and that Shawn Michaels will constantly try to steal Kevin Nash's spotlight. Triple H says that if Nash sides with him, they'll dominate the business but if Nash sides with HBK, he will be a part of the World he is against. Triple H then gets out of the ring and says the most success he and Nash ever had, was when they walked away from Shawn Michaels, Nash then gives Michaels this look.

Backstage: Stacy looks through Test's bag and finds lotion, towels, and Torrie's Playboy, and she yells at him.

Chris Jericho vs. Test (w/Stacy Keibler)
This was trash, Test is awful but at least they had some what of a story here with Test still out for revenge but Stacy didn’t give a fuck, in fact she kept laughing and smiling every time Jericho got the upperhand. The match ends when Stacy distracts the crowd by flashing DAT ASS! She does it not once but twice during the match, anyway the 2nd time Y2J used that distraction to nail test with the Bulldogg then Lionsault for the win. Post-Match: Test snaps and tells Stacy to go to the back, he then walks over to a fan and beats him up for DAT HEEL TURN! **

In a pre-taped video, Bischoff says that since he's fired Steve Austin, he's gotten tons of feedback from Stone Cold fans. And that he has decided to do the right thing, and give the Stone Cold fans what they want.

Backstage: Test and Stacy are arguing, Test then pics up the playboy mag says that YES! Torrie Wilson is hot, but so is Stacy, and Stacy is so much better. He then says that they airbrushed Torrie in Playboy to make her look good. Test then says that Stacy's legs are SO MUCH better than Torrie's. He then points out that Torrie's breasts are bigger than Stacy's, she gets mad and walks off, what a guy.

Trish Stratus & Ivory vs. Jazz & Victoria (w/Steven Richards)
Theodore Long is on commentary for this match, and to be honest I didn’t watch. I was busy making jokes with Chris on here about the Dolphins and incognito. I did see Jazz win the match with the STF.

Backstage: Goldust is on the phone and one of the female staff workers come in, she says on of his relatives are here and Goldust enters He welcomes Bill Goldberg to the company and says he has a gift for Goldberg, and gives him a blonde wig. He places the wig over Goldberg's head, Goldberg says he appreciated the gesture, but it looks better on Goldust than on him and politely asks Goldust to never put that wig on his head again.

Stone Cold Steve Austin music hits, and we get a delayed entrance and Eric Bischoff comes out. He taunts the people for actually buying it, he says he has a merchandise offer for fans who want to remember Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bischoff offers the opportunity to own their very own "Alcohol Fueled" & "Bullet Proof" T-Shirts. It on WWEShop - WWE Wrestling Superstar Merchandise, WWE Clothes, Action Figures & More, where the offer is available. Bischoff also goes on about a special offer for JR's BBQ sauce. Booker T comes out and says he has something to sell Eric, and says he pinned the World Champion last week, and challenges Bischoff to book a rematch between he & Triple H tonight for the title.

No Disqualification Match For The WWE World Tag Team Championships: Rob Van Dam & Kane vs. Chief Morley & Lance Storm
The champs clean house to start, and Storm comes back in and exchanges with RVD. Rob flips away out of the corner from a charge and gets a crossbody for two. They exchange spinkicks and Rob wins that battle for two. Kane comes in and stomps away and gets a big boot, Morley comes in and gets nowhere with Kane, He fires back and tries a seaman’s suplex, but Kane reverses it, only to get hit by a flying Storm. Double-team suplex gets two. The champs catch him in the corner and Rob slingshots in with a legdrop for two. Morley comes in and gets dropkicked, and a rollup for two. Another cover gets two. Morley hotshots him in the corner to break up the momentum as Rob comes back with a legsweep for two and slugs away, but Storm uses a garbage can to set up a Morley DDT. Storm & Kane fight on the floor with as we take a break. We return with Kane getting the hot tag and clotheslining everyone. He heads up with the flying clothesline on Storm and that gets two. RVD hits Morley with Rolling Thunder and Kane sends Storm out onto him and then Rob joins them with a somersault plancha. Back in, Bubba hits the ring and dumps Kane, and gets the Bubbabomb on RVD. D-Von takes exception to this, apparently having turned face again in the past week, and everyone gets dumped to the outside, leaving Kane to chokeslam Storm and Rob to finish him with the Van Terminator for the win. **3/4

Backstage: Triple H & Ric Flair are talking to Eric Bischoff, Hunter asks what possible reason there is for Booker to get a title shot, and Hurricane flies in and points out that Booker T pinned Triple H last week in the tag match. Hurricane also points out that Booker T would have won the title at Mania if it wasn't for Ric Flair. WASSUPWITDAT?! Hunter tells him to run along, and asks why he even cares. Hurricane says it's because he stands for truth, justice, and the American way, BIATCH! Hurricane suggests Booker T faces Ric Flair tonight, and if he wins, he gets a World title match. Bischoff sets up Booker/Hurricane vs. Hunter/Ric Flair, and if Booker's team wins, he gets a title shot next week. Flair says he’s not only dealing with the world champ but the limousine ridin', jet flyin'; but Hurricane cuts him off, and says some people don't need jets to fly, Woooooo's, and fly’s off.

The Rock is live via satellite from Hollywood, Rock says he is genuinely sad that he couldn't be in Richmond tonight. But he had some important business to take care of and that he had to go out and get a brand new People's Guitar. The Rock says that Elvis ate pie on this Guitar The Rock says that he'll give another "Rock" concert next week in Atlanta Coach asks The Rock why he declined Goldberg's challenge last week and Rock says that he declined because he has done it all and has nothing to prove, he's not afraid of Bill Goldberg, or anybody else for that matter. The Rock changes his mind and says that if Goldberg wants The Rock at Backlash, then they'll get it.

Backstage: Christian calls Rock on his cell phone and says he can't wait for the "Rock" concert II next week, he’s is going to take the Rock's advice right now in his match. Christian tells the Rock that the spear didn't really hurt in fact he hurt his ribs from laughing so hard because he couldn't believe it didn't hurt. Christian then says if Goldust gets in his face tonight, he can't promise there'll be anything left for The Rock at Backlash.

Goldust vs. Christian
Goldust grabs the headlock and gets an atomic drop for two to start. Sliding punch and he tosses Christian, who grabs a chair. Goldust cuts him off at the pass, but Christian goes low for the DQ. Post-Match: Christian nails Goldust in the back with the chair, sending him to the floor. Christian then gets on the mic and calls out Goldberg. Goldberg comes out as Christian picks up the chair but it’s too late as Goldberg absolutely kills him with a Spear, then the Jackhammer.

The Great Debate: Scott Steiner vs. Chris Nowinski
Jerry Lawler narrates and says the topic is "Operation Iraqi Freedom" Chris thanks Scott Steiner for accepting this Gentleman’s debate, but he brought his mask anyway, Nowinski asks if we're now to invade any country with a differing world view, or if it's just countries with oil and this is an unnecessary and ridiculous war. Scott Steiner says that opinions are like Assholes, everybody's got one, he then goes on to talk about Nowinski is a master debater with himself and he’s wrestled in a lot of countries. Scotty then goes on to say America didn't start this, but terrorists did on 9/11 (I’m pretty sure he repeats this 4 times) He would then go on to say Chris, The Dixie Chicks, all the Hollywood numbnuts that don't support our troops can go straight to hell OR FRANCE! SAME DIFFERENCE! Nowinski says that Scott Steiner’s 3 minutes are up, so Scotty gets the jump on Chris until Three-Minute warning and Rico make the save as all 4 men leave Scotty laying on the mat.

Booker T & The Hurricane vs. Triple H & Ric Flair
This was solid, a lot of back and forth action in a short period of time. It was rather enjoyable, the match would end when Hunter and Booker are fighting on the floor and Hunter picks up a chair but that damn Earl Hebner stops him and that takes his attention away from in the ring where Flair is about to apply the figure four but Shawn Michaels runs down and superkicks him allowing Hurricane to pick up the win, which means Booker/Hunter next week for the title. Post-Match: Shawn Michaels goes after Triple H, but Chris Jericho runs down and gives Shawn Michaels the backbreaker. Triple H gets the sledgehammer and is about to hit Shawn Michaels' face, but Nash walks down to the ring and goes face-to-face with Triple H. Kevin Nash & Triple H grin at each other, but Nash snatches the sledgehammer away from Triple H so Triple H backs down and out of the ring. Booker comes up behind Nash, so Nash accidentally hits Booker T with an elbow. Booker T gets up and knocks Shawn Michaels off his feet for trying to calm them down. **3/4