WWE RAW August 4th
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Michael Cole:
Hello everyone and welcome to the first edition of Monday Night RAW after the Great American Bash! This is Michael Cole alongside my broadcast colleague Jerry “The King†Lawler, and I have to say, what an exciting night it was last night at the Bash, King!
Jerry Lawler:
You got that right Cole! A lot of things went down last night, including the return of the Mask of Kane! Accompanied by Paul Bearer, he interrupted the Main Event between CM Punk and Batista by chokeslamming the World Heavyweight Champion!
Michael Cole:
There will be hell to pay for that one, as Kane will team up with Snitsky to face the two opponents from the Bash, and the question there King, is can the two challengers coexist long enough to gain vengeance on The Big Red Machine?
Jerry Lawler:
Not to mention Michael, last night saw a brutal parking lot brawl between JBL and John Cena, with Cena picking up a hard fought victory over JBL! But the match was so violent, neither man has been cleared to compete tonight!
Michael Cole:
Which leads us to John Cenas posse of Cryme Tyme, taking on JBL’s protégés of Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr, and the tag team titles WILL be on the line! Absolutely huge! Beyond that, we all know what happened between Jericho and HBK last night.
Jerry Lawler:
Oh yeah, with a little assist from Lance Cade last night, Jericho was able to capitalize and pick up a victory over the Showstopper. Now Jericho is so high on himself, he says Michaels has to go through Lance Cade in order to even receive another crack at Y2J!
Michael Cole:
Filling out this simply stacked show for you tonight fans, an eight man intercontinental contendership battle royale between obviously, eight men who have been hand picked by Kofi Kingston as fair game for his title!
Jerry Lawler:
The special twist to this one Cole, the last four men standing in the middle of the that ring will EACH get a title shot! One after the other by order of elimination, week after week, until the winner of the Battle Royale gets to face WHOEVER is the champion, at Summer Slam!
Michael Cole:
But right now, we are going to open up some RAW with some great singles competition! The seasoned veteran, Hardcore Holly, taking on “Lightning†Mike Quackenbush, in his first ever WWE Match!
Match #1: Mike Quackenbush Vs. Hardcore Holly
Ding Ding Ding!
Mike Quackenbush circles the ring, preparing to try his best to find a hole in the defense of Bob Holly. The grizzled veteran follows suit, until both men lock up in the center of the ring, and jockey for positions before Hardcore Holly is able to back up his opponent in the corner, and delivers a HARD open handed chop across the chest that echoes across the arena. The fans let us know that Ric Flair is still alive and well with a “Wooh†following the chop, and Hardcore Holly now delivers a knife hand chop as well! Mike Quackenbush really doubling over in pain, holding his chest from the assault. Hardcore now grabs the arm of Quack, and irish whips him to the other side of the ring, running after him, but Quackenbush grabs onto the ropes and launches himself into the air, having Holly slip under his legs, and he spins over into a sunset flip position and pins Holly, one, two, kickout by the veteran! Mike now gets up alongside him and hits a short ranged palm thrust that knocks Hardcore Holly loopy into the corner, while Quackenbush backs away slightly just to shoot right back at his opponent with several charged up forearm shots, yelling aggressively as the fans chant counting the number of forearms accordingly, reaching a count of eight before Quack snaps him down with a mare, and kicks his opponent in the back before ascending the top rope, and leaping at Hardcore Holly with a double ax handle, only to get a gut punch straight from Bob Holly! Quack ends up falling to his knees in pain on that one, as Holly picks him up and delivers a snake eyes onto the ropes, and holds onto his legs, connecting with a vicious kick to the sternum! The Quack falls to the ground, as Holly now going for a pinfall, one, two, kickout by Mike Quackenbush! Holly doesn’t like that resilience one bit, as he grabs Mike by the head and lifts him up once again, this time rearing back and going for a real hard front end chop to the chest, but Quack ducks it, coming quick off the ropes and nailing a jumping tornado DDT onto Hardcore Holly! Bob Holly rises up woozily to his feet, as Mike Quackenbush now ducks under a clothesline, and floats over the move, grabbing Hardcore by the leg, and hits the Quackendriver III! Pinning combination comes naturally there, one, two, thre-and a last second kick out by Hardcore Holly! Quackenbush can’t believe what he is seeing here, thinking that was going to be it for sure. Mike then gets up, and prowls into the corner, perhaps preparing for maybe some sort of running boot or flying grapple, and Hardcore Holly eventually does make it to his feet near the ropes to the left of the ring. Mike Quackebush makes a run for it, leaping into the air only for whatever he was planning on doing being crushed by the weight of a Bob Holly Lariat! The Quack crumples to the mat, as Hardcore compresses his legs against his chest and leans in against him opponent for a pinfall, and while the referee begins to count Hardcore Holly puts his feet on the ropes! One, Two, Three!!!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
Winner via Pinfall, Hardcore Holly!
Jerry Lawler:
Did you see that Michael? Hardcore Holly just beat Mike Quackenbush in his debut match!
Michael Cole:
I saw what he did, he put his feet on the ropes, and screwed Quackenbush from the victory! I’d say this isn’t over yet, not by a longshot.
As the match ends and the superstars are removed from the ring, CM Punk’s theme music plays as the World Heavyweight Champion comes out to the ring, belt across the shoulder, wearing one of his “Straight Edge†T-Shirts, and he has a rather focused look on his face, glimpsing around the arena as he grabs a microphone from Lilian Garcia, and he begins to speak.
CM Punk:
You know last night, was going to be my first true challenge as your champion at The Great American Bash. I was scheduled to face The Animal. Batista, one on one, in fair competition. These are the kind of things I live for, the rush of adrenaline you get from knowing you’re the underdog. People were claiming that CM Punk was just a transitional champion. They said that I couldn’t hack it in the Main Event scene on RAW, and they predicted a quick and easy victory for Batista. But that didn’t happen. As much as I wanted to prove to the world that I was a worthy champion, someone else had other plans.
Jerry Lawler:
I think he’s referring to Kane, Michael!
Michael Cole:
Oh, really?
CM Punk:
You see somebody came into our match with a chip on his shoulder, and that somebody, was Kane. He decided to bring in Paul Bearer, and put his mask back on, and proceed to chokeslam your’s truly straight to hell. Well you know, its not so much that you Chokeslammed me Kane, and its not so much that you left me down on the mat, hurting. No. What irks me the most, is the fact that you did all these things, during my time to shine. So I don’t want to wait until later tonight to get my revenge, with no official head on RAW to stop us, I want you to come out right here, right now, and show that face you thought was so ugly you felt the need to put a mask back on to feel better about yourself!
Jerry Lawler:
He’s calling out Kane! This can’t be good!
BOOM!!!!!
Kane’s classical theme music plays over the PA System as the Big Red Monster himself, as well as Paul Bearer, come out from behind the back, and stand at the entrance ramp staring down CM Punk. Paul Bearer with a microphone in hand, slowly begins to walk down the aisle with his son, as he eerily speaks into the heart of the World’s Champion.
Paul Bearer:
CM Punk! You dare to challenge my son on this evening? At this very moment, your heart is trembling with the fear, fear knowing that you may not walk away from that ring alive….oooohhh yes! We can sense your fear champion, and it feeds us, yes it does! Which is why Punk, we wish to relish in your fear. We cherish it, we live for it, and it makes us stronger. You who profane the light, you will not be burned at this very moment! Noooo, your time has not yet come child. Instead, we will leave you with a warning, a simple message from my son, to sustain your f ear! To help it grow and fester like an infection! Until later on tonight, you will feel the burning rage inside my monster! Kane, won’t you show our champion what we mean?
And with that, The Big Red Machine lifts up his sleeved arms from the traditional wrestling tights he once wore, and brings them down in a violent fury, causing lightning to arc through the arena and connects with all four ring posts, and explodes in a thunderous and violent flame that extinguishes itself in smoke, leaving CM Punk looking wildly around him to see if any more attacks may be placed his way. Until Paul Bearer throws down a smoke bomb as he and his son disappear in a cloud of smoke. CM Punk is left staring at the spot where his tormentors were, unsure of what to do beyond leaving the ring.
Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen, obviously some strange things happening here tonight, and CM Punk certainly looking forward to finally being able to face Kane tonight alongside Batista!
Jerry Lawler:
Are you kidding me Cole? CM Punk is scared out of his wits! Haha! If I were CM Punk, I would hightail it outta here before something bad happens!
Michael Cole:
Regardless of that, we will be right back after this commercial break, and when we come back, we’ve got an eight man battle royale coming right up!
Commercial Break.
When we come back from commercial, all eight participating men in the upcoming Battle Royale are standing in the ring, measuring each other with considerable distance, as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler hype up the contest.
Match #2: Eight Man Battle Royale
Participants: Deuce, Charlie Haas, Paul London, Santino Marella, Rey Mysterio, Jamie Noble, Matt Striker, Val Venis.
Ding Ding Ding!
And we are off with a huge middle of the ring pier six, or should we say pier eight brawl, Deuce and Haas are double teaming Mysterio, Jamie Noble trading blows with Santino Marella, and Val Venis going to work on Paul London while Matt Striker comes from behind and clobbers Val over the back of the head with a double ax handle. Jamie Noble is able to DDT Santino down to the mat, and goes over and occupies Charlie Haas, freeing Mysterio to deliver some stiff kicks to Deuce, before running against the ropes, and sprinboarding off into a hurricanrana, which flips Deuce over and forces him against the ropes on the other side of the ring, allowing Rey Mysterio to capitalize and clothesline That 50’s Guy over the top rope!
Deuce Has Been Eliminated.
Rey Mysterio tries to rest on the ropes, but Santino comes back and begins to trade blows with his opponent. Charlie Haas has taken down Noble and has him in a rather painful fujiawara armbar, while Matt Striker rakes Val Venis in the eyes, and give him a low blow before slamming him down to the mat, only to be kicked in the gut and hit upside the head with a spinning backfist from Paul London. Matt Striker falls backwards, allowing Val Venis to connect with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Charlie Haas however comes over and grabs Paul London by the hair, and tosses him to the outside, but London is holding on to the ropes! Charlie Haas backs up to finish the job, only for Jamie Noble to take out his legs with a knee clip. But London’s fortunes still fail him as Santino gets irish whipped to the ropes by Mysterio, knocking Paul London from the apron to the floor!
Paul London Has Been Eliminated.
Santino stops abruptly, noticing he just inadvertently eliminated Paul London, and he starts a premature celebration before Jamie Noble scoops him up from behind and disposes of Santino Marella as well!
Santino Marella Has Been Eliminated.
And so we were down to Mysterio, Noble, Val, Striker, and Charlie Haas. Val Venis continues his attack on Matt Striker on the ground, while Charlie Haas ducks a clothesline from Jamie Noble and counters with a T-Bone Suplex. Rey Mysterio kicks Charlie Haas in the back of the legs, and runs towards the ropes looking for momentum before Haas desperately takes him out with a back heel kick to the face. Charlie then goes over to where Val and Striker are and hits a rolling neckbreaker onto Val Venis, allowing Striker to get back up, and both men begin to double team Val Venis, before Jamie Noble runs towards the attackers only for them to turn around and double back body drop the king of the trailer park to the outside!
Jamie Noble Has Been Eliminated.
We are now down to the final four, each of these men will receive title shots against Kofi Kingston throughout the next month. Val Venis, Matt Striker, Charlie Haas and Rey Mysterio. Rey Rey comes in to save his fellow good guy Val Venis, and begins trading lefts and rights and forearms and kicks towards the two heel wrestlers. Charlie Haas rears up for a discus punch, but Mysterio ducks and he ends up smacking Matt Striker and the teacher goes down like a ton of bricks. Val Venis helps out Mysterio with a double supelx on Charlie Haas, before Matt Striker comes right back into things with a driving knee to the face of Val Venis, which causes him to sloppily throw himself over the top rope, and to the floor below.
Val Venis Has Been Eliminated.
So the first one to face Kingston will indeed be Val Venis, next week. But now Rey Mysterio is all alone against Haas and Striker, which Striker is able to lock in a rear chin lock on Mysterio to give Haas time to recover. Charlie starts taking the boots to Mysterio once he gets up, and both men take their time dissecting Rey Rey. Both men now push their opponent against the ropes, trying to force Rey to the floor below, but he is able to hang onto the ropes, and locks his legs onto the neck of Charlie Haas, and throws him over to the top rope!
Charlie Haas has been Eliminated.
Rey Mysterio however is still in a precarious position on the mat, as Matt Striker now desperately trying to be the last contender to Kofi Kingstons title with forearm shots to Rey Mysterio. And he rears back preparing for the final blow, but Mysterio is able to battle out with a swinging motion that forces Stirker onto the middle ropes and Rey is back into the ring, and he runs to the ropes and connects with a 610 but wait! Striker holds onto his feet, and tries to twirl him around but Rey Rey lands on his feet again, and ducks under a haymaker from Striker and lifts him up and over the top rope!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
Here is your winner, Rey Mysterio!
Michael Cole:
What a contest that was King! Rey Mysterio is going to Summer Slam for the Intercontinental Title, as well as three other men getting title shots before that time!
Jerry Lawler:
Val Venis, Charlie Haas, and Matt Striker, all with championship goals Michael. But if Kofi Kingston somehow survives all three challengers, Mysterio has one hell of an advantage going into the Pay Per View!
Michael Cole:
Let’s take you now backstage, where JBL is with his protégés in Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes. Let’s hear what they have to say about the upcoming title defense!
We go backstage and yes indeed, Simply Priceless, the tag team champions, flank the bruised and bandaged and yet still shit eating grin and figure of John Bradshaw Layfield. He is wringing his hands in almost mocking satisfaction, as if the battle has already been won before it even begins.
JBL:
Ladies and gentlemen I give you here, simply, the most priceless tag team on the planet today. You see I, JBL, the Wrestling God! I have made a living out of innovating excellence in all its forms. I have mastered the stock market, I am a self made man, and I consider myself to be the pinnacle of what it is to be successful. So naturally, I have a very good eye for others who I see as successful. Which is why I have decided to take Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes here, second and third generation superstars who on their own, have already struck gold here in this business. So with me guiding these young lions in the WWE, you can guaran damn tee that these belts are going anywhere. Not tonight, not in at Summers Slam, and not anywhere in the near future! Especially not against a group of filthy, bottom feeding thugs like Cryme Tyme or John Cena. You see tonight, my pupils will destroy JTG and Shad. And at Summer Slam, John Cena, I am not finished with you. Not by a LONG shot! So John Cena, I will prove in one months time, that I am what I say I am, and that is better than you! You name the stipulation Cena, because I am more than prepared to kick your ass back to the gutters, back where you belong!
Cody Rhodes:
Cryme Tyme? We don’t care who you think you are, as far as I am concerned, you haven’t done a damn thing beyond hanging on the coat tails of John Cena, to earn yourselves a Tag Team Title Shot. Ted Dibiase and I, we don’t appreciate unplanned, and spontaneous undeserving challengers. Dibiase and I, we plotted our course weeks in advance, and became champions in our first match. You two? You’ve been teaming for how long? And you still haven’t touched this gold. Well that’s not about to change. You’ve been trying to pay your dues for months now, when in reality, when your as talented as we are…you don’t pay dues.
Ted Dibiase Jr:
You see, JTG, Shad, that’s what you don’t seem to get. Cody and I, we are on a totally different level than you. You’ve been wrestling for a while, and all those comedy skits, stealing other peoples goods, what has it gotten you? Nothing. You can’t be taken seriously. And it doesn’t matter how good you are at committing petty theft and talking jive, because what you will be facing in that ring in just a few moments, and the very beatdown that we about to administer to you, is going to be….Simply, Priceless.
Match #3: Cryme Tyme w/John Cena Vs. Simply Priceless w/JBL
Ding Ding Ding!
We start things off with JBL trash talking from his corner, and Cena threatening to slap the taste of his mouth. The referee warns them both that no funny business is to be going on or both teams with be disqualified. We start off with Ted Dibiase Jr going up against JTG of Cryme Tyme, and they lock up in the center of the ring. JTG wraps around with a waist lock, to which Dibiase answers with a wrap around of his own, he tries to lift him up into a german suplex but JTG counters yet another time and goes to the back, and lifts up Ted by the leg and just face plants Dibiase into the mat embarrassingly before dancing in the middle of the ring with a premature celebration. Ted Dibiase gets back up and taps JTG on the shoulder, before he turns around he charges up a discus punch, to which Ted ducks under the switches the momentum by slamming the back of JTG’s neck across his knee. JTG rolls away but Dibiase connects with some well placed stomps, and drags him back into his corner, tagging into Cody Rhodes, who comes in and elbow drops JTG across the chest, and tries to go for a pinfall that’s an obvious two count. Cody now wraps on a rear chin lock, and wrenches away at the neck of JTG, who tries to hop his way on the mat to his corner, but Rhodes violently slams his head against the mat and connects with a precision knee drop across the face, and tags back out to Ted Dibiase Jr. and they both pick up JTG and hit a double knee breaker on opposite sides! Shad tries to get inside the ring, but the referee becomes distracted, allowing Ted Dibiase to choke out JTG. By the time the referee comes back around, Dibiase is finished, and he continues to work over his opponent with strikes and slaps across the face. He slapped JTG one times too many however, as it only angers the gangster rapper who kips up off of Ted Dibiase’s chest, and then connects with a Dropsault! JTG now crawling to his corner in desperation, Dibiase tries to stop him, but the hot tag is made to Big Shad! He comes in like a bat out of hell in a freight train named Sally as he hits a dangerously impacted bicycle kick to the face of Ted Dibiase. Cody Rhodes tries to come into the ring and gets a shoulder tackle for his efforts. Ted Dibiase comes in again and gets a big lariat across the chest, and Cody tries to come from behind but also gets a Chokeslam from Shad. JBL pops up on the apron, arguing with the referee about the injustice of Shad’s adrenaline induced rage, which forces John Cena to come up behind him and pull him down off the mat, further distracting the referee with their brawling. As Ted Dibiase grabs one of the tag team belts and smashes it across the back of the head of Shad, forcing him to one knee, as Cody Rhodes snaps him down with his spike DDT, and Ted Dibiase makes the cover just in time for the referee to make the count, one, two, three!
Ding Ding Ding!
Jillian Garcia:
Here are your winners, and STILL World Tag Team Champions, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase, Simply Priceless!
Michael Cole:
Damnit JBL does it again! He’s screwed these fans out of rightful tag team champions, and now Simply Priceless retain the titles.
Jerry Lawler:
We may not like it Cole, but the Cryme Tyme Connection has been outsmarted again by JBL. But wait, look at this! John Cena has grabbed a microphone.
After JBL and Simply Priceless hightail themselves out of dodge, John Cena climbs into the ring, indeed with microphone in hand, and he begins to talk towards JBL’s direction, with an extremely angered expression on his face.
John Cena:
You wanna come out here JBL and run your mouth about how much better you are than us? You wanna come out here and pretend that because we are for real, and we are from the streets, that we can’t hack it? You want to try and run me down two weeks ago on RAW? Then you wanna try and end my career at the Great American Bash? Hella nah man. Point is JBL, you’re running scared, because you know you can’t beat me. We’ve fought in falls count anywhere, first blood matches, and parking lot brawls, and you STILL want a piece of me? Aight aight, if you’re looking for another ass kicking, I will make sure you aren’t able to put your foot on the freakin steering wheel anymore, because I’m going to cripple your ass once and for all! You want it, you got it. John Bradsahw Layfield Vs. John Cena, Summer Slam, One on One, in a Steel Cage Match!
Jerry Lawler:
Whoa! Did yo hear that Michael?! We’re gonna get JBL and John Cena in a steel cage at Summer Slam! That’s huge!
Michael Cole:
We’ve had them wrestling all over parking lots and arenas, but now their rage will be confined to a steel structure, where only one man will be left standing and able to escape the cage! We will be right back after this commercial break!
Commercial Break.
Match #4: Shawn Michaels Vs. Lance Cade
Before the match begins we have Chris Jericho on commentary, already smarting off at the mouth, proclaiming that Shawn Michaels is so old, he won’t even be able to touch Lance Cade, let alone get a piece of Y2J tonight, or on any other night.
Ding Ding Ding!
Lance Cade immediately tries to bully Shawn Michaels in the corner, but HBK is able to slip under him and delivers a surprise knife edge chop across the chest, already reeling his opponent! He goes for another, and yet another, until its Lance Cade who is in the corner, but that doesn’t last long as Cade grabs Michaels by the hair and throws him into the corner turnbuckle and starts shooting off right hand blows to the face causing HBK to ricochet back and forth between impact from the turnbuckle and Cades fist. Shawn Michaels eventually stumbles out from the corner, only for Lance Cade to cut off any overselling theatrics, he double steps right up to HBK and drills him to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. Cade goes for a pinfall, but only gets a two count on the Showstopper. Lance Cade grabs him by the hair once again, and pulls him up and back down again with a pin point body slam on the middle of the ring. Lance Cade now jumps up and delivers a nice leg drop across the throat of his opponent, and goes for another pinfall, still only a two count for Cade. Chris Jericho is heard on commentary making snide remarks about how dominant Lance Cade has been since he chose to ally himself with The Ayatollah of Rock N Rolla, as Lance Cade now locks in a rear chin lock. Shawn Michaels begins fading fast, as Lance Cade is really putting pressure under the chin and across the throat of his opponent. The referee lifts his hands, and the hand falls to the mat with a one count. He lifts up the arm once again, and again limply it falls to a two count. The referee puts the limp limb into the air once more, and drops the arm but Shawn Michaels gets his arm up in the air, still fighting! The fans rally behind the Icon cheering him on, as he rises to his feet, he now elbows his way out of the predicament, landing several hard shots to the ribs of Lance Cade, whirling out of the chin hold, and blindsiding Lance Cade with an inverted atomic drop! He then clobbers Cade with an overhand punch knocking him down, and another, and a third! Lance Cade comes up to his feet, only to also be on the receiving end of a body slam! Shawn Michaels his shaking his fists in anger and adrenaline, as he goes up to the top rope, and connects with a flying elbow drop from the top! Immediately does Shawn Michaels rise to his feet, as he begins to tune up the band! Chris Jericho can be heard as being absolutely livid over the sudden turning of the tide, as Lance Cade is completely helpless to stop any of this offense, he wobbles back up to his feet, and as he turns around BAM! Sweet Chin Music to Lance Cade! We have a pinfall, one, two, three!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
Here is your winner, The Heart Break Kid, Shawn-
Lilian Garcia is cut off however, as Chris Jericho runs in from the commentators booth, and begins laying in vicious strikes on the forehead of his rival. Jericho rises and begins to stomp the living crap out of HBK, before snapping him down to the mat with a Code Breaker! Lance Cade finally rises to his feet, as Jericho feeds him to his student, who destroys Shawn Michaels with a one handed sit out powerbomb! Chris Jericho grabs Lilians microphone, and makes a simple statement.
Chris Jericho:
You are never getting anther match with me Shawn, do you hear me? Never!
Jericho now throws the mike down in frustration, as his music begins to play, followed in toe by Lance Cade.
Michael Cole:
What an absolutely despicable human being, is Chris Jericho. Lance Cade and him, being sore losers, attacking Shawn Michaels after the match, it’s completely unwarranted.
Jerry Lawler:
Like him or hate him Cole, he definitely sends a powerful message to his enemies! Coming up next, the Main Event of the Evening, CM Punk and Batista taking on Kane and Snitsky!
Commercial Break.
Main Event: CM Punk & Batista Vs. Kane & Snistky
Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen we saw earlier tonight, as CM Punk called out the Big Red Machine, and wanted to face him right then and there, but Paul Bearer would have none of it, as he instead said that CM Punk fears Kane! Now we’re going to see how true that is, as the Great American Bash Main Event gets a shot at revenge against two big bruisers in Kane and Snitsky.
Jerry Lawler:
You got the bruiser part right Cole! If facing Kane in his new sadistic state of mind wasn’t already bad enough for our World’s Champion, he has to face the big ugly giant that is Snitsky as well! Luckily for him he’s got 300lbs of back up, in the form of Batista!
Ding Ding Ding!
Things start out with Batista going toe to toe with Snitsky. The two monstrous beasts staring each other down and flexing their muscles in impressive fashion. Snitsky throws the first titanic blow across the jaw of Batista, who snaps right back with stirkes of his own! Harder and faster he goes, out connecting his offense against Snitsky who is too slow to respond intelligibly. Batista backs him up against the ropes and goes already for his patented spinebuster but Snitsky with a long, tree like boot that’s twice as stiff just snaps off into the face of Batista and Snitsky levels him with a powerful lariat! Batista holds his nose in pain, but Snitsky doesn’t allow him much time to recuperate, lifting him up by the head, but Batista once again desperately firing back with devastating blows to the face of Snitsky, driving him back to his own corner, and transitions to high impact shoulder blocks to the mid section of Snitsky, but Kane makes a blind tag, and smashes a forearm across the lower back of Batista. Snitsky slinks back into his own corner, as Kane now really begins to go to town on the Animal, several more blows to the back, and when Batista tries to fight back, Kane takes him out with a rising throat chop. Batista falls against the ropes, only to come right back attempting a spear, but he becomes derailed by a big boot to the temple by Kane! The Big Red Machine now, methodically moving around the ring, scouting his next move, as he finally decides to just grab the throat of Batista, and with one hand and an impressive show of strength, Kane lifts him back up to a standing position! Kane tries to lift him up for that deadly chokeslam from hell, but Batista brings himself back down to earth, and spins himself around with Kane and connects with a beal toss! Batista now stumbles to his corner, and makes the tag to CM Punk! The World Heavyweight Champion slingshots over the top rope, and uses his fresh momentum to hit a busaiku knee kick to the masked face of Kane! This causes the Big Red Machine to fall in between the ropes and to the outside, as Snitsky comes into the ring trying to take Punk’s head off with a lariat, but CM Punk ducks under and grabs Snitsky for a Pepsi Twist! Snitsky rolls off to the side and against the corner, which is right where CM Punk wanted him with a shining wizard kick into the corner, followed by a brilliant running bulldog from the corner! Unfortunately for CM Punk, Kane comes right back into the ring and drills him for a SECOND time in the past two days with a Chokeslam from Hell! But now here comes The Animal Batista, as he devastates Kane with a running spear! Kane rolls to the outside of the ring, and starts making his way up the ramp with Paul Bearer, obviously having enough of this match, but Batista gives chase, and the two illegal men begin to brawl all the way up to the backstage area! Meanwhile, Snitsky tries to go for a running big boot on the groggy champion, but CM Punk ducks under and lifts himself up with Snitsky using his own momentum against him and throws him right back off his shoulders with a GTS! CM Punk slumps over Snitsky, and the referee makes the pinfall. One, Two, Three!!!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
And here are your winners, Batista and CM Punk!
Michael Cole:
Batista and Kane just left brawling up the rampway, and CM Punk picks up a major win for his one time tag team partner and himself against the Monster, Snitsky! We know we are getting JBLVs. John Cena, and I have a hunch we’re getting Shawn Michaels Vs. Chris Jericho no matter what Y2J says, but the question remains, who will face CM Punk? Batista? Kane?
Jerry Lawler:
Or maybe, just maybe, we could be seeing somebody different in the title scene in the coming weeks! You never know what’s going to happen Michael, especially with nobody taking care of things backstage! Its’ total anarchy, and I love it!
Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us tonight on RAW, until next week, this is Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler, good night everybody!
Michael Cole:
Hello everyone and welcome to the first edition of Monday Night RAW after the Great American Bash! This is Michael Cole alongside my broadcast colleague Jerry “The King†Lawler, and I have to say, what an exciting night it was last night at the Bash, King!
Jerry Lawler:
You got that right Cole! A lot of things went down last night, including the return of the Mask of Kane! Accompanied by Paul Bearer, he interrupted the Main Event between CM Punk and Batista by chokeslamming the World Heavyweight Champion!
Michael Cole:
There will be hell to pay for that one, as Kane will team up with Snitsky to face the two opponents from the Bash, and the question there King, is can the two challengers coexist long enough to gain vengeance on The Big Red Machine?
Jerry Lawler:
Not to mention Michael, last night saw a brutal parking lot brawl between JBL and John Cena, with Cena picking up a hard fought victory over JBL! But the match was so violent, neither man has been cleared to compete tonight!
Michael Cole:
Which leads us to John Cenas posse of Cryme Tyme, taking on JBL’s protégés of Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr, and the tag team titles WILL be on the line! Absolutely huge! Beyond that, we all know what happened between Jericho and HBK last night.
Jerry Lawler:
Oh yeah, with a little assist from Lance Cade last night, Jericho was able to capitalize and pick up a victory over the Showstopper. Now Jericho is so high on himself, he says Michaels has to go through Lance Cade in order to even receive another crack at Y2J!
Michael Cole:
Filling out this simply stacked show for you tonight fans, an eight man intercontinental contendership battle royale between obviously, eight men who have been hand picked by Kofi Kingston as fair game for his title!
Jerry Lawler:
The special twist to this one Cole, the last four men standing in the middle of the that ring will EACH get a title shot! One after the other by order of elimination, week after week, until the winner of the Battle Royale gets to face WHOEVER is the champion, at Summer Slam!
Michael Cole:
But right now, we are going to open up some RAW with some great singles competition! The seasoned veteran, Hardcore Holly, taking on “Lightning†Mike Quackenbush, in his first ever WWE Match!
Match #1: Mike Quackenbush Vs. Hardcore Holly
Ding Ding Ding!
Mike Quackenbush circles the ring, preparing to try his best to find a hole in the defense of Bob Holly. The grizzled veteran follows suit, until both men lock up in the center of the ring, and jockey for positions before Hardcore Holly is able to back up his opponent in the corner, and delivers a HARD open handed chop across the chest that echoes across the arena. The fans let us know that Ric Flair is still alive and well with a “Wooh†following the chop, and Hardcore Holly now delivers a knife hand chop as well! Mike Quackenbush really doubling over in pain, holding his chest from the assault. Hardcore now grabs the arm of Quack, and irish whips him to the other side of the ring, running after him, but Quackenbush grabs onto the ropes and launches himself into the air, having Holly slip under his legs, and he spins over into a sunset flip position and pins Holly, one, two, kickout by the veteran! Mike now gets up alongside him and hits a short ranged palm thrust that knocks Hardcore Holly loopy into the corner, while Quackenbush backs away slightly just to shoot right back at his opponent with several charged up forearm shots, yelling aggressively as the fans chant counting the number of forearms accordingly, reaching a count of eight before Quack snaps him down with a mare, and kicks his opponent in the back before ascending the top rope, and leaping at Hardcore Holly with a double ax handle, only to get a gut punch straight from Bob Holly! Quack ends up falling to his knees in pain on that one, as Holly picks him up and delivers a snake eyes onto the ropes, and holds onto his legs, connecting with a vicious kick to the sternum! The Quack falls to the ground, as Holly now going for a pinfall, one, two, kickout by Mike Quackenbush! Holly doesn’t like that resilience one bit, as he grabs Mike by the head and lifts him up once again, this time rearing back and going for a real hard front end chop to the chest, but Quack ducks it, coming quick off the ropes and nailing a jumping tornado DDT onto Hardcore Holly! Bob Holly rises up woozily to his feet, as Mike Quackenbush now ducks under a clothesline, and floats over the move, grabbing Hardcore by the leg, and hits the Quackendriver III! Pinning combination comes naturally there, one, two, thre-and a last second kick out by Hardcore Holly! Quackenbush can’t believe what he is seeing here, thinking that was going to be it for sure. Mike then gets up, and prowls into the corner, perhaps preparing for maybe some sort of running boot or flying grapple, and Hardcore Holly eventually does make it to his feet near the ropes to the left of the ring. Mike Quackebush makes a run for it, leaping into the air only for whatever he was planning on doing being crushed by the weight of a Bob Holly Lariat! The Quack crumples to the mat, as Hardcore compresses his legs against his chest and leans in against him opponent for a pinfall, and while the referee begins to count Hardcore Holly puts his feet on the ropes! One, Two, Three!!!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
Winner via Pinfall, Hardcore Holly!
Jerry Lawler:
Did you see that Michael? Hardcore Holly just beat Mike Quackenbush in his debut match!
Michael Cole:
I saw what he did, he put his feet on the ropes, and screwed Quackenbush from the victory! I’d say this isn’t over yet, not by a longshot.
As the match ends and the superstars are removed from the ring, CM Punk’s theme music plays as the World Heavyweight Champion comes out to the ring, belt across the shoulder, wearing one of his “Straight Edge†T-Shirts, and he has a rather focused look on his face, glimpsing around the arena as he grabs a microphone from Lilian Garcia, and he begins to speak.
CM Punk:
You know last night, was going to be my first true challenge as your champion at The Great American Bash. I was scheduled to face The Animal. Batista, one on one, in fair competition. These are the kind of things I live for, the rush of adrenaline you get from knowing you’re the underdog. People were claiming that CM Punk was just a transitional champion. They said that I couldn’t hack it in the Main Event scene on RAW, and they predicted a quick and easy victory for Batista. But that didn’t happen. As much as I wanted to prove to the world that I was a worthy champion, someone else had other plans.
Jerry Lawler:
I think he’s referring to Kane, Michael!
Michael Cole:
Oh, really?
CM Punk:
You see somebody came into our match with a chip on his shoulder, and that somebody, was Kane. He decided to bring in Paul Bearer, and put his mask back on, and proceed to chokeslam your’s truly straight to hell. Well you know, its not so much that you Chokeslammed me Kane, and its not so much that you left me down on the mat, hurting. No. What irks me the most, is the fact that you did all these things, during my time to shine. So I don’t want to wait until later tonight to get my revenge, with no official head on RAW to stop us, I want you to come out right here, right now, and show that face you thought was so ugly you felt the need to put a mask back on to feel better about yourself!
Jerry Lawler:
He’s calling out Kane! This can’t be good!
BOOM!!!!!
Kane’s classical theme music plays over the PA System as the Big Red Monster himself, as well as Paul Bearer, come out from behind the back, and stand at the entrance ramp staring down CM Punk. Paul Bearer with a microphone in hand, slowly begins to walk down the aisle with his son, as he eerily speaks into the heart of the World’s Champion.
Paul Bearer:
CM Punk! You dare to challenge my son on this evening? At this very moment, your heart is trembling with the fear, fear knowing that you may not walk away from that ring alive….oooohhh yes! We can sense your fear champion, and it feeds us, yes it does! Which is why Punk, we wish to relish in your fear. We cherish it, we live for it, and it makes us stronger. You who profane the light, you will not be burned at this very moment! Noooo, your time has not yet come child. Instead, we will leave you with a warning, a simple message from my son, to sustain your f ear! To help it grow and fester like an infection! Until later on tonight, you will feel the burning rage inside my monster! Kane, won’t you show our champion what we mean?
And with that, The Big Red Machine lifts up his sleeved arms from the traditional wrestling tights he once wore, and brings them down in a violent fury, causing lightning to arc through the arena and connects with all four ring posts, and explodes in a thunderous and violent flame that extinguishes itself in smoke, leaving CM Punk looking wildly around him to see if any more attacks may be placed his way. Until Paul Bearer throws down a smoke bomb as he and his son disappear in a cloud of smoke. CM Punk is left staring at the spot where his tormentors were, unsure of what to do beyond leaving the ring.
Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen, obviously some strange things happening here tonight, and CM Punk certainly looking forward to finally being able to face Kane tonight alongside Batista!
Jerry Lawler:
Are you kidding me Cole? CM Punk is scared out of his wits! Haha! If I were CM Punk, I would hightail it outta here before something bad happens!
Michael Cole:
Regardless of that, we will be right back after this commercial break, and when we come back, we’ve got an eight man battle royale coming right up!
Commercial Break.
When we come back from commercial, all eight participating men in the upcoming Battle Royale are standing in the ring, measuring each other with considerable distance, as Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler hype up the contest.
Match #2: Eight Man Battle Royale
Participants: Deuce, Charlie Haas, Paul London, Santino Marella, Rey Mysterio, Jamie Noble, Matt Striker, Val Venis.
Ding Ding Ding!
And we are off with a huge middle of the ring pier six, or should we say pier eight brawl, Deuce and Haas are double teaming Mysterio, Jamie Noble trading blows with Santino Marella, and Val Venis going to work on Paul London while Matt Striker comes from behind and clobbers Val over the back of the head with a double ax handle. Jamie Noble is able to DDT Santino down to the mat, and goes over and occupies Charlie Haas, freeing Mysterio to deliver some stiff kicks to Deuce, before running against the ropes, and sprinboarding off into a hurricanrana, which flips Deuce over and forces him against the ropes on the other side of the ring, allowing Rey Mysterio to capitalize and clothesline That 50’s Guy over the top rope!
Deuce Has Been Eliminated.
Rey Mysterio tries to rest on the ropes, but Santino comes back and begins to trade blows with his opponent. Charlie Haas has taken down Noble and has him in a rather painful fujiawara armbar, while Matt Striker rakes Val Venis in the eyes, and give him a low blow before slamming him down to the mat, only to be kicked in the gut and hit upside the head with a spinning backfist from Paul London. Matt Striker falls backwards, allowing Val Venis to connect with a Blue Thunder Bomb! Charlie Haas however comes over and grabs Paul London by the hair, and tosses him to the outside, but London is holding on to the ropes! Charlie Haas backs up to finish the job, only for Jamie Noble to take out his legs with a knee clip. But London’s fortunes still fail him as Santino gets irish whipped to the ropes by Mysterio, knocking Paul London from the apron to the floor!
Paul London Has Been Eliminated.
Santino stops abruptly, noticing he just inadvertently eliminated Paul London, and he starts a premature celebration before Jamie Noble scoops him up from behind and disposes of Santino Marella as well!
Santino Marella Has Been Eliminated.
And so we were down to Mysterio, Noble, Val, Striker, and Charlie Haas. Val Venis continues his attack on Matt Striker on the ground, while Charlie Haas ducks a clothesline from Jamie Noble and counters with a T-Bone Suplex. Rey Mysterio kicks Charlie Haas in the back of the legs, and runs towards the ropes looking for momentum before Haas desperately takes him out with a back heel kick to the face. Charlie then goes over to where Val and Striker are and hits a rolling neckbreaker onto Val Venis, allowing Striker to get back up, and both men begin to double team Val Venis, before Jamie Noble runs towards the attackers only for them to turn around and double back body drop the king of the trailer park to the outside!
Jamie Noble Has Been Eliminated.
We are now down to the final four, each of these men will receive title shots against Kofi Kingston throughout the next month. Val Venis, Matt Striker, Charlie Haas and Rey Mysterio. Rey Rey comes in to save his fellow good guy Val Venis, and begins trading lefts and rights and forearms and kicks towards the two heel wrestlers. Charlie Haas rears up for a discus punch, but Mysterio ducks and he ends up smacking Matt Striker and the teacher goes down like a ton of bricks. Val Venis helps out Mysterio with a double supelx on Charlie Haas, before Matt Striker comes right back into things with a driving knee to the face of Val Venis, which causes him to sloppily throw himself over the top rope, and to the floor below.
Val Venis Has Been Eliminated.
So the first one to face Kingston will indeed be Val Venis, next week. But now Rey Mysterio is all alone against Haas and Striker, which Striker is able to lock in a rear chin lock on Mysterio to give Haas time to recover. Charlie starts taking the boots to Mysterio once he gets up, and both men take their time dissecting Rey Rey. Both men now push their opponent against the ropes, trying to force Rey to the floor below, but he is able to hang onto the ropes, and locks his legs onto the neck of Charlie Haas, and throws him over to the top rope!
Charlie Haas has been Eliminated.
Rey Mysterio however is still in a precarious position on the mat, as Matt Striker now desperately trying to be the last contender to Kofi Kingstons title with forearm shots to Rey Mysterio. And he rears back preparing for the final blow, but Mysterio is able to battle out with a swinging motion that forces Stirker onto the middle ropes and Rey is back into the ring, and he runs to the ropes and connects with a 610 but wait! Striker holds onto his feet, and tries to twirl him around but Rey Rey lands on his feet again, and ducks under a haymaker from Striker and lifts him up and over the top rope!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
Here is your winner, Rey Mysterio!
Michael Cole:
What a contest that was King! Rey Mysterio is going to Summer Slam for the Intercontinental Title, as well as three other men getting title shots before that time!
Jerry Lawler:
Val Venis, Charlie Haas, and Matt Striker, all with championship goals Michael. But if Kofi Kingston somehow survives all three challengers, Mysterio has one hell of an advantage going into the Pay Per View!
Michael Cole:
Let’s take you now backstage, where JBL is with his protégés in Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes. Let’s hear what they have to say about the upcoming title defense!
We go backstage and yes indeed, Simply Priceless, the tag team champions, flank the bruised and bandaged and yet still shit eating grin and figure of John Bradshaw Layfield. He is wringing his hands in almost mocking satisfaction, as if the battle has already been won before it even begins.
JBL:
Ladies and gentlemen I give you here, simply, the most priceless tag team on the planet today. You see I, JBL, the Wrestling God! I have made a living out of innovating excellence in all its forms. I have mastered the stock market, I am a self made man, and I consider myself to be the pinnacle of what it is to be successful. So naturally, I have a very good eye for others who I see as successful. Which is why I have decided to take Ted Dibiase and Cody Rhodes here, second and third generation superstars who on their own, have already struck gold here in this business. So with me guiding these young lions in the WWE, you can guaran damn tee that these belts are going anywhere. Not tonight, not in at Summers Slam, and not anywhere in the near future! Especially not against a group of filthy, bottom feeding thugs like Cryme Tyme or John Cena. You see tonight, my pupils will destroy JTG and Shad. And at Summer Slam, John Cena, I am not finished with you. Not by a LONG shot! So John Cena, I will prove in one months time, that I am what I say I am, and that is better than you! You name the stipulation Cena, because I am more than prepared to kick your ass back to the gutters, back where you belong!
Cody Rhodes:
Cryme Tyme? We don’t care who you think you are, as far as I am concerned, you haven’t done a damn thing beyond hanging on the coat tails of John Cena, to earn yourselves a Tag Team Title Shot. Ted Dibiase and I, we don’t appreciate unplanned, and spontaneous undeserving challengers. Dibiase and I, we plotted our course weeks in advance, and became champions in our first match. You two? You’ve been teaming for how long? And you still haven’t touched this gold. Well that’s not about to change. You’ve been trying to pay your dues for months now, when in reality, when your as talented as we are…you don’t pay dues.
Ted Dibiase Jr:
You see, JTG, Shad, that’s what you don’t seem to get. Cody and I, we are on a totally different level than you. You’ve been wrestling for a while, and all those comedy skits, stealing other peoples goods, what has it gotten you? Nothing. You can’t be taken seriously. And it doesn’t matter how good you are at committing petty theft and talking jive, because what you will be facing in that ring in just a few moments, and the very beatdown that we about to administer to you, is going to be….Simply, Priceless.
Match #3: Cryme Tyme w/John Cena Vs. Simply Priceless w/JBL
Ding Ding Ding!
We start things off with JBL trash talking from his corner, and Cena threatening to slap the taste of his mouth. The referee warns them both that no funny business is to be going on or both teams with be disqualified. We start off with Ted Dibiase Jr going up against JTG of Cryme Tyme, and they lock up in the center of the ring. JTG wraps around with a waist lock, to which Dibiase answers with a wrap around of his own, he tries to lift him up into a german suplex but JTG counters yet another time and goes to the back, and lifts up Ted by the leg and just face plants Dibiase into the mat embarrassingly before dancing in the middle of the ring with a premature celebration. Ted Dibiase gets back up and taps JTG on the shoulder, before he turns around he charges up a discus punch, to which Ted ducks under the switches the momentum by slamming the back of JTG’s neck across his knee. JTG rolls away but Dibiase connects with some well placed stomps, and drags him back into his corner, tagging into Cody Rhodes, who comes in and elbow drops JTG across the chest, and tries to go for a pinfall that’s an obvious two count. Cody now wraps on a rear chin lock, and wrenches away at the neck of JTG, who tries to hop his way on the mat to his corner, but Rhodes violently slams his head against the mat and connects with a precision knee drop across the face, and tags back out to Ted Dibiase Jr. and they both pick up JTG and hit a double knee breaker on opposite sides! Shad tries to get inside the ring, but the referee becomes distracted, allowing Ted Dibiase to choke out JTG. By the time the referee comes back around, Dibiase is finished, and he continues to work over his opponent with strikes and slaps across the face. He slapped JTG one times too many however, as it only angers the gangster rapper who kips up off of Ted Dibiase’s chest, and then connects with a Dropsault! JTG now crawling to his corner in desperation, Dibiase tries to stop him, but the hot tag is made to Big Shad! He comes in like a bat out of hell in a freight train named Sally as he hits a dangerously impacted bicycle kick to the face of Ted Dibiase. Cody Rhodes tries to come into the ring and gets a shoulder tackle for his efforts. Ted Dibiase comes in again and gets a big lariat across the chest, and Cody tries to come from behind but also gets a Chokeslam from Shad. JBL pops up on the apron, arguing with the referee about the injustice of Shad’s adrenaline induced rage, which forces John Cena to come up behind him and pull him down off the mat, further distracting the referee with their brawling. As Ted Dibiase grabs one of the tag team belts and smashes it across the back of the head of Shad, forcing him to one knee, as Cody Rhodes snaps him down with his spike DDT, and Ted Dibiase makes the cover just in time for the referee to make the count, one, two, three!
Ding Ding Ding!
Jillian Garcia:
Here are your winners, and STILL World Tag Team Champions, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase, Simply Priceless!
Michael Cole:
Damnit JBL does it again! He’s screwed these fans out of rightful tag team champions, and now Simply Priceless retain the titles.
Jerry Lawler:
We may not like it Cole, but the Cryme Tyme Connection has been outsmarted again by JBL. But wait, look at this! John Cena has grabbed a microphone.
After JBL and Simply Priceless hightail themselves out of dodge, John Cena climbs into the ring, indeed with microphone in hand, and he begins to talk towards JBL’s direction, with an extremely angered expression on his face.
John Cena:
You wanna come out here JBL and run your mouth about how much better you are than us? You wanna come out here and pretend that because we are for real, and we are from the streets, that we can’t hack it? You want to try and run me down two weeks ago on RAW? Then you wanna try and end my career at the Great American Bash? Hella nah man. Point is JBL, you’re running scared, because you know you can’t beat me. We’ve fought in falls count anywhere, first blood matches, and parking lot brawls, and you STILL want a piece of me? Aight aight, if you’re looking for another ass kicking, I will make sure you aren’t able to put your foot on the freakin steering wheel anymore, because I’m going to cripple your ass once and for all! You want it, you got it. John Bradsahw Layfield Vs. John Cena, Summer Slam, One on One, in a Steel Cage Match!
Jerry Lawler:
Whoa! Did yo hear that Michael?! We’re gonna get JBL and John Cena in a steel cage at Summer Slam! That’s huge!
Michael Cole:
We’ve had them wrestling all over parking lots and arenas, but now their rage will be confined to a steel structure, where only one man will be left standing and able to escape the cage! We will be right back after this commercial break!
Commercial Break.
Match #4: Shawn Michaels Vs. Lance Cade
Before the match begins we have Chris Jericho on commentary, already smarting off at the mouth, proclaiming that Shawn Michaels is so old, he won’t even be able to touch Lance Cade, let alone get a piece of Y2J tonight, or on any other night.
Ding Ding Ding!
Lance Cade immediately tries to bully Shawn Michaels in the corner, but HBK is able to slip under him and delivers a surprise knife edge chop across the chest, already reeling his opponent! He goes for another, and yet another, until its Lance Cade who is in the corner, but that doesn’t last long as Cade grabs Michaels by the hair and throws him into the corner turnbuckle and starts shooting off right hand blows to the face causing HBK to ricochet back and forth between impact from the turnbuckle and Cades fist. Shawn Michaels eventually stumbles out from the corner, only for Lance Cade to cut off any overselling theatrics, he double steps right up to HBK and drills him to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker. Cade goes for a pinfall, but only gets a two count on the Showstopper. Lance Cade grabs him by the hair once again, and pulls him up and back down again with a pin point body slam on the middle of the ring. Lance Cade now jumps up and delivers a nice leg drop across the throat of his opponent, and goes for another pinfall, still only a two count for Cade. Chris Jericho is heard on commentary making snide remarks about how dominant Lance Cade has been since he chose to ally himself with The Ayatollah of Rock N Rolla, as Lance Cade now locks in a rear chin lock. Shawn Michaels begins fading fast, as Lance Cade is really putting pressure under the chin and across the throat of his opponent. The referee lifts his hands, and the hand falls to the mat with a one count. He lifts up the arm once again, and again limply it falls to a two count. The referee puts the limp limb into the air once more, and drops the arm but Shawn Michaels gets his arm up in the air, still fighting! The fans rally behind the Icon cheering him on, as he rises to his feet, he now elbows his way out of the predicament, landing several hard shots to the ribs of Lance Cade, whirling out of the chin hold, and blindsiding Lance Cade with an inverted atomic drop! He then clobbers Cade with an overhand punch knocking him down, and another, and a third! Lance Cade comes up to his feet, only to also be on the receiving end of a body slam! Shawn Michaels his shaking his fists in anger and adrenaline, as he goes up to the top rope, and connects with a flying elbow drop from the top! Immediately does Shawn Michaels rise to his feet, as he begins to tune up the band! Chris Jericho can be heard as being absolutely livid over the sudden turning of the tide, as Lance Cade is completely helpless to stop any of this offense, he wobbles back up to his feet, and as he turns around BAM! Sweet Chin Music to Lance Cade! We have a pinfall, one, two, three!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
Here is your winner, The Heart Break Kid, Shawn-
Lilian Garcia is cut off however, as Chris Jericho runs in from the commentators booth, and begins laying in vicious strikes on the forehead of his rival. Jericho rises and begins to stomp the living crap out of HBK, before snapping him down to the mat with a Code Breaker! Lance Cade finally rises to his feet, as Jericho feeds him to his student, who destroys Shawn Michaels with a one handed sit out powerbomb! Chris Jericho grabs Lilians microphone, and makes a simple statement.
Chris Jericho:
You are never getting anther match with me Shawn, do you hear me? Never!
Jericho now throws the mike down in frustration, as his music begins to play, followed in toe by Lance Cade.
Michael Cole:
What an absolutely despicable human being, is Chris Jericho. Lance Cade and him, being sore losers, attacking Shawn Michaels after the match, it’s completely unwarranted.
Jerry Lawler:
Like him or hate him Cole, he definitely sends a powerful message to his enemies! Coming up next, the Main Event of the Evening, CM Punk and Batista taking on Kane and Snitsky!
Commercial Break.
Main Event: CM Punk & Batista Vs. Kane & Snistky
Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen we saw earlier tonight, as CM Punk called out the Big Red Machine, and wanted to face him right then and there, but Paul Bearer would have none of it, as he instead said that CM Punk fears Kane! Now we’re going to see how true that is, as the Great American Bash Main Event gets a shot at revenge against two big bruisers in Kane and Snitsky.
Jerry Lawler:
You got the bruiser part right Cole! If facing Kane in his new sadistic state of mind wasn’t already bad enough for our World’s Champion, he has to face the big ugly giant that is Snitsky as well! Luckily for him he’s got 300lbs of back up, in the form of Batista!
Ding Ding Ding!
Things start out with Batista going toe to toe with Snitsky. The two monstrous beasts staring each other down and flexing their muscles in impressive fashion. Snitsky throws the first titanic blow across the jaw of Batista, who snaps right back with stirkes of his own! Harder and faster he goes, out connecting his offense against Snitsky who is too slow to respond intelligibly. Batista backs him up against the ropes and goes already for his patented spinebuster but Snitsky with a long, tree like boot that’s twice as stiff just snaps off into the face of Batista and Snitsky levels him with a powerful lariat! Batista holds his nose in pain, but Snitsky doesn’t allow him much time to recuperate, lifting him up by the head, but Batista once again desperately firing back with devastating blows to the face of Snitsky, driving him back to his own corner, and transitions to high impact shoulder blocks to the mid section of Snitsky, but Kane makes a blind tag, and smashes a forearm across the lower back of Batista. Snitsky slinks back into his own corner, as Kane now really begins to go to town on the Animal, several more blows to the back, and when Batista tries to fight back, Kane takes him out with a rising throat chop. Batista falls against the ropes, only to come right back attempting a spear, but he becomes derailed by a big boot to the temple by Kane! The Big Red Machine now, methodically moving around the ring, scouting his next move, as he finally decides to just grab the throat of Batista, and with one hand and an impressive show of strength, Kane lifts him back up to a standing position! Kane tries to lift him up for that deadly chokeslam from hell, but Batista brings himself back down to earth, and spins himself around with Kane and connects with a beal toss! Batista now stumbles to his corner, and makes the tag to CM Punk! The World Heavyweight Champion slingshots over the top rope, and uses his fresh momentum to hit a busaiku knee kick to the masked face of Kane! This causes the Big Red Machine to fall in between the ropes and to the outside, as Snitsky comes into the ring trying to take Punk’s head off with a lariat, but CM Punk ducks under and grabs Snitsky for a Pepsi Twist! Snitsky rolls off to the side and against the corner, which is right where CM Punk wanted him with a shining wizard kick into the corner, followed by a brilliant running bulldog from the corner! Unfortunately for CM Punk, Kane comes right back into the ring and drills him for a SECOND time in the past two days with a Chokeslam from Hell! But now here comes The Animal Batista, as he devastates Kane with a running spear! Kane rolls to the outside of the ring, and starts making his way up the ramp with Paul Bearer, obviously having enough of this match, but Batista gives chase, and the two illegal men begin to brawl all the way up to the backstage area! Meanwhile, Snitsky tries to go for a running big boot on the groggy champion, but CM Punk ducks under and lifts himself up with Snitsky using his own momentum against him and throws him right back off his shoulders with a GTS! CM Punk slumps over Snitsky, and the referee makes the pinfall. One, Two, Three!!!
Ding Ding Ding!
Lilian Garcia:
And here are your winners, Batista and CM Punk!
Michael Cole:
Batista and Kane just left brawling up the rampway, and CM Punk picks up a major win for his one time tag team partner and himself against the Monster, Snitsky! We know we are getting JBLVs. John Cena, and I have a hunch we’re getting Shawn Michaels Vs. Chris Jericho no matter what Y2J says, but the question remains, who will face CM Punk? Batista? Kane?
Jerry Lawler:
Or maybe, just maybe, we could be seeing somebody different in the title scene in the coming weeks! You never know what’s going to happen Michael, especially with nobody taking care of things backstage! Its’ total anarchy, and I love it!
Michael Cole:
Well ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us tonight on RAW, until next week, this is Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler, good night everybody!
