World Wrestling Entertainment 2006 by Stojy

[Roy Mustang]

Good start to the ECW show. Good to see Justin Credible picking up an early win as he was someone you booked very well. Dreamer and Big Show segment was a highlight with you putting over Dreamer really well and making Big Show look insane. Main event finish also makes sense and saves the actual match for later down the line.

 

[Order]

Here go some thoughts on the ECW show for you stojy. Looking forward to this and properly following a project of yours as I’ve never really been able to so far for various reasons on my end.

-Good opening to the show with Sandman giving the fans a feel-good ECW moment in taking out the vampire with the Cane. Simple but effective.

-Justin Credible vs. Al Snow was a match but really it was all about kicking head into the crowd, decent lower card action, interested to see if this was just a throwaway match or if there is going to be more to it.

-Fun little promo with Kurt Angle and his match against RVD sure sounds like a fun one. I remember being a huge fan of Angle around this time which made it even sadder when he left.

-Test is coming, I always felt he had potential and never really got to where he could have.

-Mike Knox the mega cock block heel I always hated the Kelly stripping stuff back in 2006 but it did really make Knox a big heel. Good win against Balls and I think he can be solid in the midcard. Intrigued to see what you do with Kelly and Knox moving on and how it all resolves itself compared to real life.

-Poor Tommy Dreamer. Big Show being dominant was the right call here though.

-Really liked the main event match/angle and thought Edge made his point loud and clear. I would assume we will see him on ECW in the coming weeks as a result and there are many directions you can go. He could face Sandman, Angle and will of course collide with RVD so you’ve opened up the booking options nicely there.

Good, solid first ECW and I am really interested to see how you book the show different from real life as I did feel it had big potential back in the day.

 

[Dubb]

I like that you don't immediately take the temptation of just scrapping everything about WWECW or at the very least sticking with some of the eye roll moments from those days like the Vampire, Zombie, etc of those Syfy days. Also keeping some of the more meh talent like Mike Knox around is admirable and it'll be interesting to see what you can do with them.

I'm not a huge fan of a fake out/tease main event of the first ever episode of ECW on SyFy, but I can appreciate putting the heat on Edge and building things up...just would've liked to see a more proper main event but hey, it's pretty realistic for the time period!

 

[Stojy]

Appreciate the comments, guys.

WWE Smackdown
June 30th, 2006
Roanoke, West Virginia
Roanoke Civic Centre

The show opens up with a video package, highlighting the issues between the WWE United States Champion Bobby Lashley, and his challenger tonight, King Booker. This all started at Judgment Day when these two met in the finals of the King of the Ring Tournament. As it looked like Lashley might continue his all-conquering first year in the WWE, Finlay, an ally of Bookers and the man Lashley defeated in the semi-finals, intervened. Finlay makes his way down to the ring and whacks Lashley with his shillelagh, allowing Booker to nail the Scissors Kick and officially become king. During Booker’s royal ceremony where he was preparing to wear his robe and sit on his throne, Lashley spears him, knocking over the thrown and making a mockery of everything.

The following week’s Smackdown was much more pleasant for both men, when Lashley steamrolled John Bradshaw Layfield to capture the United States title. Meanwhile, Booker had his official coronation hosted by William Regal, where he was sure to get in some pot shots at Lashley also. On June second, the two did battle again in a non-title match and Lashley recovered from his loss at the pay per view and defeated the new king. After the match, Regal and Finlay join Booker in a beatdown on Lashley, which culminates in Lashley being physically forced to kiss Booker’s royal feet.

After defeating Regal in singles competition, according to Smackdown General Manager, Teddy Long, Lashley had earned another opportunity at gaining revenge on Booker. Despite an attack from Regal and Finlay earlier in the show, Lashley was once again able to defeat Booker on the June 16th edition of Smackdown. Oh yeah, and they hate each other so much that their issues weren’t resolved, and they wrestled on the following Smackdown. During the match, Finlay comes down with a steel chair, but Lashley takes it and levels both Booker and Regal, causing a DQ. The victory over the US Champ has earned Booker a shot at the title tonight… INSIDE A STEEL CAGE!!!
​

…

Even though the opening video focused completely on the US Title scene, we open up with the man who just may be the World Heavyweight Champion if not for some dodgy interference in last week’s main event, Mark Henry. The gargantuan doesn’t look to be in the mood to be messed with, a snarl on his face as the fans greet him with the usual negative reception. Looking extra grumpy, Henry shakes his head and steps back through the curtain, leaving us already. There’s confusion around the arena for a moment, before Henry appears yet again, with something over his shoulder. On commentary, Michael Cole and JBL question what it can be and then freak out a little, as a better camera reveals that Henry is lugging a body bag to the ring.

To make matters worse, the body bag is moving, with the person inside clearly squirming to try and escape. Once inside the ring and given a microphone, Henry roughly throws the body bag to the canvas, kicking it once or twice for good measure and the squirming stops. As his music stops playing, Henry lets the fans know, as if it already isn’t super obvious, that he’s not in a good mood. As a matter of fact, he’s furious, he’s pissed off, and he wants revenge. For those who wonder why, Henry gives a bit of an explanation, “I feel all these things and more because I SHOULD be the World Heavyweight Champion. That big gold belt, the most prestigious prize in our sport, the thing I’ve worked all my life for. The thing I’ve toiled for in the last ten years in the WWE, it should be MINE right now… But it’s not”.

Henry goes on to say that the World Heavyweight Title isn’t not in his possession because he doesn’t deserve it, or because he’s not good enough. The title isn’t in his possession because the current champion, Rey Mysterio, has buddies who are willing to help him cheat to win. “I was a few seconds away from squashing that pipsqueak like a bug when Chavo Guerrero went and got himself involved”. Henry then goes on to explain what happened in last week’s title match, with the referee getting knocked down, only for Chavo to appear and throw a steel chair to Henry. On instinct only, Henry caught the chair, and the referee put two and two together, disqualifying Henry for ‘using’ the chair.

“Damn it, I didn’t even use that chair. Believe me, a part of wishes I did so I could have put Mysterio on the shelf like I did Batista”! The fans don’t like that comment but Henry shrugs the reaction off, stating that’s the only time he’ll mention Batista because he’s not here to talk about people who are irrelevant to the World Title scene. He’s here to challenge Rey Mysterio for a rematch, right here, right now. A buzz goes around the arena, curiosity as to whether Mysterio will appear, but at this stage there’s no sign of Rey Rey.

The furious Henry actually chuckles to himself this time before stating “after the taste I gave you of what I can do last week, I didn’t expect you to be man enough to just straight up give me another shot, Rey. So what I’ve got here at my feet, well, let’s just say, I’ve decided to provide you with some extra motivation”. Placing the microphone on the canvas, Henry unzips the body bag and pulls the body out, revealing a bloody Chavo Guerrero. Hands tied behind his back, mouth gagged, Chavo is defenceless and the gasps from the audience say that they understand the predicament he’s in.

For the first time tonight, Henry smirks as he tells Rey that the only thing, he has to do to save his friend, is agree to give Henry a rematch for the World Title. Still no response from Mysterio, SO HENRY DROPS A BIG SPLASH ON CHAVO!!!

Off mic, Henry now yells at Chavo, “YOU LIKE TO PLAY WITH CHAIRS, HUH”? The World’s Strongest Man heads to the outside and grabs himself a steel chair. Once back into the ring, Henry raises the chair over his head… HENRY SMASHES THE CHAIR ACROSS THE LIFELESS BODY OF GUERRERO!!!

As Henry looks prepared to do it again, the titantron comes alive and we see the World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio arriving to the building. A backstage crew member immediately approaches and informs Rey of what’s happening in the ring. Mysterio drops his bags and sprints through the backstage area, eventually appearing on the other side of the curtain. With a mic now in hand and a face full of panic, Rey demands that Henry stop what he’s doing right now. Mysterio looks to head into the ring, but Henry tells him to not take another step, otherwise he’ll finish the job. Rey stops, putting his hands up apologetically, before pleading with Mark, “Stop what you’re doing right now, man. I don’t care when, how, why, I’m pretty beat up but I’ll defend the title against you tonight if I have to, just please stop what you’re doing to Chavo”.

Henry throws the chair to the canvas and asks Mysterio if he’s giving him his word as a man and Mysterio confirms that he is. “You let Chavo go, and I’ll go and get the green light from Teddy for whenever you want it”. The lifeless body of Chavo Guerrero is an eerie sight on the canvas, as Mark tells Mysterio that he wants to make him wait and make him sweat it out. He wants him for the World Heavyweight Championship at Saturday Night’s Main Event on July 15th. “You go get your boy Teddy to sign off on this match, because if not, I can take out your boy just like that (clicks fingers), and I might not be so easy on him next time”.

Chavo’s legs are still in the body bag, so Henry roughly rolls him underneath the bottom rope, causing Chavo to take a rough bump to the outside. Mysterio is immediately down to check on him, pointing at Henry menacingly, and the two continue to stare each other down, another match against each other in their future if approved by Teddy Long.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
​

Returning from the break, our commentary duo of Michael Cole and JBL recap the staggering scene of Chavo being in a body bad to start the show, before they hype the rest of the card which looks like below:

WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
STEEL CAGE MATCH
BOBBY LASHLEY © DEFENDS AGAINST KING BOOKER

DOUG BASHAM AND SIMON DEAN VS. BRIAN KENDRICK AND PAUL LONDON

HARDCORE HOLLY VS. MR. KENNEDY

MATT HARDY VS. WILLIAM REGAL

JAMIE NOBLE AND KID KASH DEBUT AS A TAG TEAM

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
GREGORY HELMS © DEFENDS AGAINST SUPER CRAZY

Match One
WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Gregory Helms (c) defends against Super Crazy

Helms has been ruling the Cruiserweight division with an iron fist since the start of the year, meanwhile Super Crazy has had issues as of late with his long-time friend, Psychosis. The Mexicools attempted to win the WWE Tag Team Championships last week but were unsuccessful and came to blows afterwards. Anyway, Crazy’s popularity has clearly convinced Teddy Long to give him this opportunity, and he doesn’t disappoint. Helms tries to keep the pace slow and ground Crazy with some success, yet Crazy is able to explode and speed things up.

It's a very entertaining, competitive match, but after Crazy avoids Helms attempting a Blockbuster, he prepares to land his trio of Moonsaults. MOONSAULT FROM THE BOTTOM ROPE… CONNECTS!!!

MOONSAULT FROM THE MIDDLE ROPE… CONNECTS!!!

CRAZY SPRINGS UP TO THE TOP ROPE… BUT DOESN’T LEAP OFF AS HE’S DISTRACTED BY THE APPEARANCE OF PSYCHOSIS!!!

The duo yell at each other in Mexican, so whilst they look animated and angry, we don’t really know what they are saying. It seems Crazy is demanding that Psychosis leave, but his friend/former friend doesn’t look to be interested in appeasing him. The distraction allows Crazy to get crotched on the top rope, and the opportunistic Helms doesn’t stop there. He climbs up to meet Crazy on the top… HELMS NAILS A SUPER SWINGING NECKBREAKER FROM THE TOP!!!

HELMS HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winner: Gregory Helms via pinfall @ 10:04
​

Boos fill the arena as Helms has yet again retained his Cruiserweight Championship. He raises it in the air, letting everybody know that he’s the best Cruiserweight of all time. Once he notices that a serious looking Psychosis has entered the ring though, Helms decides to leave and continue his celebration in the back.

Inside of the ring, Psychosis looks down at Super Crazy, no pity for his long-time friend, instead Psychosis looks like he despises Crazy. With the fans not happy with his actions, Psychosis begins to stomp the life out of the already beaten Crazy.

To try and protect his mid-section, Crazy rolls over so Psychosis drops a few elbows to the back. It’s only then that Psychosis climbs up to the top rope himself… GUILLOTINE LEG DROP LANDS ACROSS THE BACK OF THE NECK!!!

Crazy is completely out of it now, as Psychosis is back up, still menacing staring at the downed body of Crazy. The heat has only gotten louder as it looks like it’s officially confirmed, The Mexicools are no more.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
​

When we return from the break, it’s time for our next match which features two individuals deciding to join forces and focus on the tag team division. The newest team on the scene, Jamie Noble and Kid Kash, The Redneck Messiahs.

Match Two
Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Redneck Messiahs

I think most readers will understand that this is all about Kash and Noble operating as a unit, and to put over their togetherness, they’re rocking matching denim cut offs. Hell yeah! Anyway, Noble and Kash absolutely dominate, showing some crisp tag team moves, and just a general IDGAF attitude. In the end, they debut their new move called the Dirt Nap, which is where Kash gets Funaki up in a Powerbomb position, and Noble comes off the top with a Crossbody to help send Funaki crashing to the canvas. KASH MAKES THE COVER…1…2…3!!!

Winners: The Redneck Messiahs via pinfall @ 04:35 ​

Noble and Kash are content with their victory, but after having their hands raised, they don’t go overboard in celebrating. They know this is just one step on a journey, as Noble looks into the camera and yells, “you’re lookin’ at future tag champs, boy”. The two, erm, rednecks continue to stand tall in the centre of the ring as we cut to our next scene…

…

We’re at the traditional Smackdown interview set now where Josh Matthews welcomes his guest at this time, King Booker. Of course, the King of the Ring is not on his own, by his side is his lovely loudmouth of a wife, Queen Sharmell. Before Matthews can even ask a question though, Booker gets wide eyes and Sharmell looks offended, leading to her snatching the mic from Matthews. Poor Matthews looks confused as Sharmell scolds him for the poor introduction of her husband. “What kind of introduction was that, Joshua? This isn’t just some peasant off the street that you’re about to interview, this is YOUR king, MY king, the king of Smackdown. Let me show you how it’s done”.

From there Sharmell gives Booker an over-the-top introduction, running down his list of accomplishments before calling him the head of the only royal family in Smackdown history. With his nose in the air, Booker thanks Sharmell for the introduction, calling her “my queen”, before shooting Matthews a dirty look. Sharmell then gives Josh his marching orders, deciding that she’ll conduct the interview herself. After Matthews is out of screenshot, Sharmell continues with the interview. “My king, I’m sure all of these peasants want to know what your strategy is ahead of your match tonight inside a Steel Cage with that despicable monstrosity of a man, Bobby Lashley”.

Booker thinks for a moment before responding, “the strategy is the same as it always is. I will go out there, I will be royal, I will be elegant and I will show everybody just why Smackdown is my kingdom. I will show everybody that even in a barbaric structure unbefitting of a king, I will find a classy, noble way to be victorious. That way I can return on my throne, head held high, with the United States Championship around my waist”. It’s becoming a disgusting lovefest as Sharmell compliments Booker on his TERRIFIC answer, but he doesn’t let her ask another question. Instead, he talks about how confident he is because he’s a former five-time WCW Champion, he’s held the US Title before, but also because he knows he has his royal family behind him. With that, Finlay and William Regal come into view, both looking ready to murder somebody for their king if necessary.

“With these loyal subjects by my side, with my Queen cheering me on, there may be bloodshed, but it shall not be mine. I will behead Bobby Lashley if necessary and I will make sure that he bows downs to my royal feet when I take his title”. After these thoughts, Booker confirms he doesn’t have much else to say, so Sharmell then begins repeatedly yelling at the top of her lungs, “ALL HAIL KING BOOKAAAAAAHHHH”!!!! Booker closes his eyes in ecstasy, enjoying the annoying chant, as Finlay and Regal pump him up in the background, completely behind their king.

…

The parking lot is where we head to next where an ambulance has it’s back doors open, waiting for a stretcher to be loaded up. It doesn’t take long for the cameras to pick up a better view, showing that a battered and beaten Chavo Guerrero is strapped up on the stretcher. As the EMT’s strategize the best way to load up the ambulance, we see Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long, and the World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio watching on with concern. Mysterio is desperate for his friend to be okay, constantly telling the medics to be careful, whilst Teddy tries to convince Rey to give the professionals the room, they need to get the job done.

Rey eventually listens to the advice from Long, letting out a deep sigh and putting his hands over his mask in despair. As Teddy assures Mysterio that it’s all going to be okay and Chavo is in good hands, the EMT’s finish loading Guerrero into the ambulance. The ambulance takes off, lights shining, sirens screeching through the night air, whilst Mysterio still seems at a loss for what to do with himself. Trying to help him out, Teddy places a hand on his shoulder, “you can’t blame yo’self for what happened, playa. Nobody knew that Mark Henry was gonna’ do what he did.”

Mysterio still doesn’t say much, looking down at the ground, heartbroken with what’s occurred so far tonight. “Now look Rey, I don’t want you to worry about everythin’ that was said earlier tonight. Mark Henry isn’t gettin’ no title shot, Mark Henry’s getting suspended, believe ‘dat”. Those words seem to awake Mysterio from his self-pity stupor, as he shakes his head in disagreement. “No, Teddy, please no. Chavo is like my family. I can’t change what’s happened but I can damn sure make it so that Henry pays for what he did”.

Teddy seems a little taken aback, almost as if he didn’t expect this type of reaction. He asks Mysterio if he’s sure, or if he maybe needs time to cool down and think about it. With a fire in his eyes, Rey responds, "I appreciate the concern, but my mind isn’t changing. Last week wasn’t a definitive way of keeping my World Heavyweight Championship and proving I’m the best. I’m gonna’ do that and I’m gonna’ kick Mark Henry’s ass for what he did to Chavo in the process”!

An impressed look comes over the GM’s face after Mysterio’s passionate plea, so Teddy confirms that at Saturday Night’s Main Event on July 15th in Dallas Texas, Rey Mysterio will indeed defend the World Heavyweight Title against Mark Henry. Mysterio seems content with the call and thanks Teddy before walking away, clearly still troubled by his friend Chavo’s condition.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

***

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
JULY 15TH, 2006
DALLAS, TEXAS
AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTRE

***

Match Three
Matt Hardy vs. William Regal

Smackdown in 2006, or WWE in general have a lot of things wrong with it that require fixing, but you could almost always rely on guys like Regal, Benoit, Finlay, Hardy, Mysterio at least putting on one decent wrestling match on the card. This is THAT match. These two go at it like their lives depend on it, both trying to move their way towards a future US/World title shot. Hardy uses his pace advantage to keep Regal off balance early, but the Brit gets super nasty, stiffing the shit out of Hardy. Plus, all the usual awesomeness of Regal as he shoots brutal Half Nelsons whilst driving his forearm across the bridge of the nose when making pinfall attempts.

Despite some of Regal’s best work, Hardy shows that his will not die motto is well and truly alive, making the ropes to break a Regal Stretch. A frustrated Regal gets back up and barks an insult at the referee, ONLY TO TURN INTO A FLASH SIDE EFFECT FROM HARDY!!! Both men are down as the referee begins counting, when the fans start booing because Finlay is making his way out from the back. With his trusty shillelagh in hand, Finlay gets onto the apron, as the referee demands he go away. Finlay tosses his shillelagh across the ring, but it lands on the canvas because both men are still down.

The referee hurries across to the dispose of the shillelagh, leaning through the ropes and waiting for Tony Chimel to come and take it. This gives Finlay time to get off the apron, find a SECOND shillelagh underneath the ring and step inside. As Hardy staggers to his feet… FINLAY NAILS HIM WITH THE SHILLELAGH!!!

Loving the violence of it all, Finlay smirks before leaving the ring, whilst the referee turns back around… ONLY TO SEE REGAL PLACE AN ARM OVER THE CHEST OF HARDY…1…2…3!!!

Winner: William Regal via pinfall @ 9:52
​

The fans aren’t happy with the result, not even a little bit, and to be fair, Regal doesn’t even look like he knows the result. Finlay is immediately back into the ring, helping Regal to his feet, and the referee raises his hand. Finally, Regal starts to get his wits about him and begins to celebrate, whilst snarling at Matt Hardy, who is only just beginning to stir.

Regal and Finlay share some words, before getting devilish looks on their faces, ready to inflict more damage on Hardy. They begin stomping over him, but before they can do any serious damage, they are interrupted by an all to familiar theme song. The audience gasps at the unexpected tune playing, as The Great Khali is lead towards the ring by Daivari.

As they slowly make their way down the ramp, inside of the ring, Regal signals for Finlay that they should hightail it, but the fighting Irishman doesn’t seem so happy with that option. Finlay holds his ground, because he loves to fight, and he goes face to chest with Khali. Daivari demands that Finlay gets out of the way, and Regal is pleading with him to do so, but ever the badass, Finlay balls his hands into fists. This gets a half pop from the crowd, until Regal heads to the outside and actually trips up Finlay, dragging him out of the ring.

Boos ring out for this and Regal and Finlay argue, but as they do, Regal still manages to cleverly usher Finlay away from ringside and towards the back. Now begin left alone with the exhausted Hardy, Daivari tells Khali to send “HIM a message”! Without a second thought, with one powerful hand, Khali wraps his hand around the throat of Hardy, and drags him off the canvas and all the way up in the air… HUGE CHOKESLAM FROM KHALI!!!

Sharing some more words with his deadly giant, Daivari then mimics The Undertaker’s thumb across the throat taunt, and Khali does the same. This isn’t good news for Hardy, as Khali drags him to his feet… KHALI NAILS AN UGLY LOOKING TOMBSTONE (Hardy’s head is way to far away from the canvas but let’s pretend)!!!

Well, consider the message sent. Hardy will not die but he might be close, whilst Khali and Daivari stand tall, the latter letting it be heard that The Undertaker is scared of Khali and won’t be coming back.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
​

Upon returning from the break, we see replays of The Great Khali’s mauling of Matt Hardy. As the camera pans out, we see that we were actually viewing the replay from a monitor in the back, which was also being watched by the braggadocious blonde, Mr. Kennedy. KK seems to be enjoying what he’s watching, letting out a guffaw as he chews his gum obnoxiously, only for him to hear Hardcore Holly’s music playing throughout the arena. Realising that means it’s time for his match, Kennedy talks to himself, saying “lets get down to business”. Before arrogantly strutting away.

Match Four
Hardcore Holly vs. Mr. Kennedy

It’s the locker room bully/veteran vs. the resident loudmouth, and after Kennedy tries to teach Chimel how to do a proper introduction, Holly is less than impressed. Even more so after Kennedy blatantly disrespects Holly, saying he’ll lose tonight just like he’s done for most of his career. As Holly steps towards him in anger, Kennedy backs away, “don’t get angry, Sparky”, BUT HOLLY RESPONDS WITH A SLAP TO THE FACE TO START THE CONTEST!!!

Holly beats Kennedy up in the early stages, especially leaving some welts on his chest with vicious Knife Edged Chops. Kennedy shows he’s more than just talk though, absorbing Holly’s fiery offense, before coming back with his own. Eventually Kennedy is able to soften the veteran up enough that he’s able to head to the top rope… KENTON BOMB CONNECTS FROM KENNEDY!!!

KK HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winner: Mr. Kennedy via pinfall @ 5:26 ​

After the match, an out of break Kennedy ignores the cat calls from the fans and snatches the microphone from Chimel and throws it away. He then reaches to the heavens, grabbing his usual mic, “And your winner… As expected… The astounding Mister Kennneddddddyyyyyy….”. Kennedy stops and drags the mic with him, climbing up to the top rope, “KEEEEENNNNNEEEEDDDDAAAAYYYYYYY”!!!

They don’t like his arrogance but the crowd chants along anyway, as Kennedy continues to celebrate, and we cut away…

…

We head to the catering area now where we see our World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio, sitting at a table, on his lonesome, picking at some watermelon with a fork. Even with his mask, we see enough of his eyes and face to see that he looks despondent, still upset with what happened to Chavo at the start of the night. Suddenly, a loud clearing of the throat can be heard and Mysterio turns around, to be greeted by the WWE Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms.

Helms sarcastically asks Rey how he’s doing, and when there’s no response, Helms smirks, expecting as much. “Fair enough, Rey. I get it, you’ve had a rough night, or a rough week if you think about it, because if it wasn’t Chavo, you would have lost that World Heavyweight Title to Mark Henry last week”. Mysterio throws his plate to the floor and stands up, not in the mood for Helms’ bullshit. The Cruiserweight champ puts his hands up though, proclaiming innocence. “I’m not here to fight you, Rey, I’m here to help you. We go way back, I’m talking all the way back to WCW, I hate to see you like this. You’re fighting above your weight class; you can’t handle it for much longer. I don’t want to see somebody I have so much… Respect… for get seriously injured… I think you should forfeit”.

Rey can’t believe the suggestion, shaking his head at Helms and making it clear that he will never give up his title. “I’m proud to be World Heavyweight Champion and I would never disgrace this title by willingly forfeiting it. The disgrace that would do to me, to my familia… to the people I’ve dedicated his title reign to, it isn’t gonna’ happen. I WILL beat Mark Henry at Saturday Night’s Main Event”. Mysterio then sarcastically tells Helms that he appreciates his concern before looking to walk away and end the conversation.

Before he gets very far, Helms chirps up again, “I guess it makes sense, I’d be clinging on to that big gold belt for dear life too. It’s not like when you lose it, you can come back to the Cruiserweight division and win the gold. The current Cruiserweight champ has already surpassed you”. With a chuckle, Helms leaves the area, leaving a speechless Mysterio to not believe the disrespect from Helms, adding to what has already been a putrid evening for the champ.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

We return with a video package, showing highlights of the career of Batista so far, most coming from his DOMINANT reign as World Heavyweight Champion. We then see clips of Batista being forced to relinquish the title due to injury, and the promise that he’ll be back, and he will be champion again. The video ends with a picture of an intense looking Batista with the caption of… “BATISTA RETURNS… NEXT WEEK”!!!

Match Five
Brian Kendrick and Paul London vs. Doug Basham and Simon Dean

One team are the WWE Tag Team Champions and the other are two guys I had nothing for this week, so I threw them together as a jobber tandem. I think it’s pretty obvious how this one goes. London and Kendrick use superior teamwork, quickness, skill, and every other aspect of wrestling because they’re just better than their opponents. Dean gets thrown to the outside and Basham gets isolated, first getting dropped with a SLICED BREAD #2 BY KENDRICK!!!

QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY A SHOOTING STAR PRESS FROM LONDON!!!

LONDON STAYS ON TOP FOR THE COVER…1…2…3!!!

Winners: Brian Kendrick and Paul London via pinfall @ 02:48
​

Much to the delight of the fans, the tag champs stick around for a little while, celebrating their win and looking like they are ready for any and all challenges…

…

We now focus in on Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield who talk about how impressive the champs were, before moving on to discuss another championship, the United States title. They talk about the history between Bobby Lashley and King Booker, but before they can go any further regarding tonight’s steel cage main event, some eerie things begin to happen. A gong is heard which gets a TREMENDOUS ovation from the fans, followed by the lights beginning to flicker, and a second gong puts the arena into darkness.

The lights have gone off, the fans are going nuts and noise like thunder can be heard throughout the arena. Suddenly, a big lighting bolt crashes onto the stage, and the lights in the arena come back on. Everything is back as it is, although our commentators are a little shook, as they wonder whether that was a sign that The Undertaker received The Great Khali’s message earlier in the night. Cole and JBL are clearly still a little off after the unexpected interruption, so they send things backstage…

…

Where Josh Matthews is at the set for an interview tonight, however this time he’s with the opponent of his previous guest, the WWE United States Champion Bobby Lashley. Josh introduces Lashley and makes it clear that he appreciates his time so soon before a big match. Speaking of which, how does Lashley feel about getting a man he’s had plenty of issues with, King Booker, inside of a steel cage. Lashley thinks for a moment, looking down at the US Title around his waist, before grinning like a Cheshire cat. “This probably isn’t the answer you’re expecting, but I feel fantastic. Outside of the King of the Ring final where I was SCREWED by Booker and his little posse, I’ve beaten Booker every single time. But tonight, inside of that steel cage, there isn’t going to be the opportunity for Booker’s royal ass kissers to help him”.

The us Champ promises that he’s going to retain his title and he’s going to put a full stop on his issues with Booker. “Look at me, there’s no hesitation here. I’m built for environments like the steel cage Booker and I will be locked in. I WILL walk out the US Champ, I WILL put a bloody end to mine and Booker’s business, and I WILL make sure that the only throne Booker is sitting on after this, is a damn hospital gurney.” Well, Lashley certainly seems intense as he nods at Matthews and walks away. Lashley/Booker – US Title, Steel Cage Match, NEXT!!!

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
​

It’s main event time, folks, and just for some last-minute hype, the same video package that opened the show gets played again. This also conveniently allows the ringside crew to finish making sure the cage is all stable and stuff.

The video package highlights the issues between the WWE United States Champion Bobby Lashley, and his challenger tonight, King Booker. This all started at Judgment Day when these two met in the finals of the King of the Ring Tournament. As it looked like Lashley might continue his all-conquering first year in the WWE, Finlay, an ally of Bookers and the man Lashley defeated in the semi-finals, intervened. Finlay makes his way down to the ring and whacks Lashley with his shillelagh, allowing Booker to nail the Scissors Kick and officially become king. During Booker’s royal ceremony where he was preparing to wear his robe and sit on his throne, Lashley spears him, knocking over the thrown and making a mockery of everything.

The following week’s Smackdown was much more pleasant for both men, when Lashley steamrolled John Bradshaw Layfield to capture the United States title. Meanwhile, Booker had his official coronation hosted by William Regal, where he was sure to get in some pot shots at Lashley also. On June second, the two did battle again in a non-title match and Lashley recovered from his loss at the pay per view and defeated the new king. After the match, Regal and Finlay join Booker in a beatdown on Lashley, which culminates in Lashley being physically forced to kiss Booker’s royal feet.

After defeating Regal in singles competition, according to Smackdown General Manager, Teddy Long, Lashley had earned another opportunity at gaining revenge on Booker. Despite an attack from Regal and Finlay earlier in the show, Lashley was once again able to defeat Booker on the June 16th edition of Smackdown. Oh yeah, and they hate each other so much that their issues weren’t resolved, and they wrestled on the following Smackdown. During the match, Finlay comes down with a steel chair, but Lashley takes it and levels both Booker and Regal, causing a DQ. The victory over the US Champ has earned Booker a shot at the title tonight… INSIDE A STEEL CAGE!!!
​

Being the challenger, King Booker is out first, as always accompanied by Queen Sharmell, who keeps telling the fans to hail King Booker. Once inside of the ring, the royal manner of Booker seems to disappear, as he digs his fingers into the steel cage, getting accustomed to his surroundings. The US Champion Bobby Lashley garners an INCREDIBLE pop from the fans, as he makes his way through the curtain. Lashley’s eyes don’t leave Booker, clearly, he’s focused on one thing only tonight and that’s a mission to destroy Booker.

Lashley stops at the ramp and grabs at the cage, wanting to get a feel for the environment just like Booker did. Before Lashley can turn the corner and prepare to go up the stairs to enter the cage… HE GETS CLOBBERED IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY A SHILLELAGH SHOT FROM FINLAY!!!

Inside of the cage, Booker laughs out loud, as Sharmell encourages Finlay as well as William Regal to continue to beat on Lashley. They do with some stomps and what not, and with Lashley already dazed from the shot to the head, REGAL LANDS A BRASS KNUCKS SHOT TO LASHLEY’S MID SECTION!!!

They are softening up all of Lashley for their king. The fans are furious, Booker is in heaven and the beatdown continues as they grab Lashley… AND THEY REPEATEDLY RAM THE HEAD OF LASHLEY INTO THE OUTSIDE OF THE STEEL CAGE!!!

The US Champ doesn’t even have the title off his waist yet, and he’s drowning in his own blood. Finlay and Regal don’t stomp though, continuing on the attack, until Booker yells “GET THAT PEASANT IN HERE”! The dastardly duo do as they’re told, hoisting the dead weight of Lashley up, and they slowly drag him up the steps and into the steel cage.

Sharmell applauds from the outside as Finlay and Regal exit, and Booker demands that the referee rings the bell to start the match. The referee doesn’t get intimidated though, and instead checks on Lashley, and crazily enough, as he begins to get his wits about him, Lashley wipes the blood from his eyes and says he’s good to go. The ref is obviously uneasy with the decision but doesn’t have a choice and calls for the bell.

Match Six
WWE United States Championship:
Steel Cage Match
Bobby Lashley (c) defends against King Booker

Booker watches on in intently, hoping his opponent has nothing left, and that seems to be the case as Lashley makes it to his knees, only to crumble back to the canvas. On commentary, Michael Cole talks about how much of a tragedy this is, whilst having his own history with Lashley, JBL is loving what he’s seeing right now. Showing his grit and determination, Lashley begins fighting back to his feet again, only for Booker to approach and bring him towards the centre of the ring. Booker cockily leans back and nails Lashley with a right hand… LASHLEY NO SELLS IT!!!

AND EXPLODES THROUGH BOOKER WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!

The royal family on the outside can’t believe it, as Lashley stays on Booker… GETTING HIM IN THE AIR FOR THE DOMINATOR!!!

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THE BEAT DOWN HAS DONE IT’S DAMAGE… WITH LASHLEY STAGGERING AND LOSING BALANCE!!!

He drops Booker and falls to a knee, whilst the panicked Booker leaps back to his feet… ROYAL SIDEKICK CONNECTS (yes, this is the Harlem Sidekick, but why not change his move names to make his gimmick more irritating).

The blow drops Lashley, who rolls to his stomach and on instinct, tries to fight back up right away. King Booker’s eyes go wide in shock, as he looks for support, and Sharmell tells him to stay on him! Booker does as he’s told, bouncing off the ropes… SCISSORS KICK CONNECTS!!!

No Spinaroonie, no celebrations, BOOKER HOOKS BOTH LEGS TIGHTLY…1…2…3!!!

Winner: King Booker via pinfall @ 2:21
​

Boos fill the arena as Booker quickly rips the US Title from around the fallen Lashley’s waist. After raising Booker’s hand in victory, the referee checks on Lashley, who is virtually showing no signs of life. Meanwhile, the remainder of the Royal Family all barge into the cage. Queen Sharmell applauds her husband, love in her eyes, whilst Regal bows down. Finlay claps for Booker though, but he’s much more understated because he’s the most no nonsense out of the group.

The celebrations are sickening, as Booker gets down on his knees and kisses the gold, acting as if he’s just been through an absolute war. With the heat deafening, the king’s remain as US Champ has officially begun, and before we go off the air, Sharmell gets a microphone and informs the world, “All hail your United States Champion… All hail KING…. BOOOKER”!!!

END OF SHOW

***

WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event
July 15th, 2006
Dallas, Texas
American Airlines Arena

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Rey Mysterio (c) defends against Mark Henry​

 

[Roy Mustang]

Great show as always. Especially loved the Mark Henry segment (Got Hall of Pain vibes) and he came off as a fucking monster. Also credit to you for trying to rehab poor Rey Mysterio during this time part way through arguably one of the worst World title reigns off all time. Great of him to show fight and want to avenge his friend.

Also the main event and screwing Lashley out of the title in that fashion was amazing as well. Curious to see where Lashley goes from here in the chase and curious also to see how Batista plays into the World title picture

 

[Tyronesaurus24]

Smackdown - June 30, 2006

- Strong, strong start here with Henry. Initially was fearful of a 20-minute monologue but the body bag deal made it all the more interesting. Once the Chavo reveal happened - holy shit! That's such a perfect way to put Henry over as a monster, and it's just a great visual to imagine. This attack + the fact that you didn't mention Eddie Guerrero 300000 times throughout the show leads me to believe we're not getting a Chavo/Vickie heel turn on Rey and Eddie can finally R.I.P., so kudos to you on the much more tasteful booking than IRL. Kind of curious that this match didn't set up GAB since it's only a few weeks away, but I understand putting some attention on SNME. As much as I'd love to see you fix Rey's run and turn him into a credible challenger, I kinda wanna see Henry win the belt here to set up the big grudge match for GAB/SummerSlam after Batista returns.

- Helms held the belt forever but this really was probably the doldrums of the Cruiser division as they just had meaningless matches and Helms spent more time feuding with Matt Hardy than defending. Hoping you can put that Stojy touch on it and make the division more exciting especially with an ace like Rey out of the picture so you can build around someone new.

- Redneck Messiahs > Pitbulls. Fine showcase here to get over the new team and I imagine they'll be pushed into a feud with London/Kendrick rather soon.

- All the King Booker stuff has been tremendous so far, with the added bonus that you're keeping it as a midcard gimmick and not the top main event heel.

- Fine continuation of Khali/Undertaker. I'm guessing you're not going the Punjabi Prison route, but these two def need a gimmick match. Bearer's on RAW but maybe he can build a triple wide triple deep casket for Khali

- Was so into Kennedy at this time and deeper in the year when JBL would put over him as defeating a bunch of World Champions. Holly's a good gatekeeper to keep around and Kennedy gets a little rub from beating the veteran. Solid.

- Ooh, love the segment with Helms and Rey. Does a lot to put over Mysterio's confidence and also Helms' arrogance that he's now the top dog in the CW division.

- Tag division is pretty weak with no MNM any longer so again something I'm hoping you'll put the Stojy touch on.

- Wow! Not at all how I expected the main event to go, but I dig it a lot. Only critique is I don't think the cage really came into play at all, but maybe that was intentional so you can do a real steel cage match down the line. What I said earlier x1000 with Booker taking the U.S. Title. Way more logical than sacrificing the World belt to his mostly comedic gimmick and now I'm hyped to see Lashley run through all of the King's Court to get his belt back. Good work!

 

[Stojy]

WWE Monday Night Raw
July 3rd, 2006
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Wachovia Centre ​

The show opens up in the parking lot, where we see D Generation X, Shawn Michaels and Triple H walking towards the arena. Both have bags over their shoulders and are in good spirits, cracking jokes about what they did to The McMahon’s limo last week. Out of nowhere, they stop in their tracks and Triple H rolls his eyes, whilst HBK lets out an exaggerated shriek of fear. It’s because The Coach and an entire squad of security are standing in between DX and the arena doors.

Triple H gets to the point and asks what this is all about. A smug Coach, protected by a line of security, shows off some swagger as he lets Triple H know that he’s going to tell him right now. “What this is about is consequences. You two need to have consequences for your actions, and our boss, Mr. McMahon has given me the pleasure of being the man to uphold said consequences”. Again, DX make fun of The Coach and his clear self-importance, calling him a big shot in a sarcastic tone, but The Coach shrugs off their attitude.

“Make all the jokes you want, but Shawn, you can make them from out here in the cold. By order of Mr. McMahon, you are NOT permitted to enter the building tonight, and Philadelphia’s finest security guards will ensure you don’t try anything stupid”. DX aren’t too happy, but they play it off, not wanting Coach to know that he’s getting under their skin. Triple H tells Shawn he heard of a nice strip club not to far away, but Shawn tells Trips that he knows he can’t go there.

The Coach isn’t finished though. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. You misunderstood. I said Shawn Michaels isn’t allowed in the arena tonight, but Triple H, you are. As a matter of fact, you’re MORE than welcome because tonight you will suffer the consequences for your actions last week. Vandalism of property and a blatant disrespect to the boss will not be tolerated, so tonight, you will go one on one… WITH MR. MCMAHON HIMSELF”!!!

It's almost like Coach expects that to be a big thing, as he then turns away and tells security to continue to secure the entrance. Meanwhile, Triple H looks towards Shawn with fake angst and says “we know he loves cocks, what if he’s tries something…” Shawn rolls his eyes as a few guards step forward and begin to escort him away, whilst Triple H casually says “well, here goes nothing” as he steps into the arena alone.

…

At ringside, JR and The King formally welcome us to the show, giving us a rundown on what to expect tonight:

NON TITLE MATCH:
EDGE VS. ROB VAN DAM

CHARLIE HAAS VS. RANDY ORTON

MR. MCMAHON VS. TRIPLE H

THE HIGHLANDERS DEBUT

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
THE SPIRIT SQUAD © DEFEND AGAINST GENE SNITSKY AND VAL VENIS

CARLITO VS. CHRIS MASTERS​

The commentators look to continue to discuss the upcoming show, specifically the rematch from Vengeance with Edge facing Rob Van Dam in non-title action. Almost as if on cue, the long-time commentary team are then interrupted by the music of ‘The Rated R Superstar’, Edge. He comes out without Lita tonight, and despite the negative reception from the fans, Edge starts off by telling them that they are welcome, because they’re all extremely lucky for him to be in their presence. “You see, I’m everywhere at the moment. Raw, ECW, it doesn’t matter. I do what I want whenever the hell I want to do it, because I am the hardest working man in sports entertainment”! The crowd don’t agree with that sentiment, but Edge continues on, saying that he’s got RVD in non-title action tonight, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s just going to stop there and not appear on ECW again tomorrow.

“Last week, I showed up on both brands because I’m a man of my word. So let me make it crystal clear for any of you that might not comprehend what I’ve been saying… NOBODY is taking that WWE Championship from Rob Van Dam except for me”. Edge talks about how he came so close at Vengeance, but he admits he ultimate failed. He also admits that a solar eclipse happens once every year or so as well, and RVD was lucky at Vengeance. “RVD had his BEST night, and I had my worst night, and he still only JUST got the job done. Tonight, I prove that Vengeance was an anomaly, and after I beat RVD, I will be the rightful number one contender”.

He repeats he will be the number one contender, not Kurt Angle, not any of those other ECW chumps and certainly not John Cena. Well, it looks Edge mentioned somebody he shouldn’t have because John Cena comes steaming down the curtain, foregoing his usual theatrics. Cena doesn’t look to be in a good mood, and he goes face to face with Edge, the tension building. He tells Edge that he really hopes that his ears are playing tricks on him, and he didn’t hear what he thinks he heard. “All this talk about you bein’ the rightful number one contender? I don’t think so, man. Me and RVD put on a hell of a match last week, but if your scrawny ass didn’t get involved, I’d be standin’ here with MY gold back around MY waist.” Edge scoffs at that statement and tells Cena that the world doesn’t revolve around him, and that he needs to get to the back of the line.

The former WWE Champions yells over the top of Edge, telling him that when you talk about the WWE Title, you’re damn right it revolves around Cena. “And I’m all for non-title matches and earning the opportunity, no problem. Everybody in my chain gang knows I’m happy to show loyalty to the cause, hustle for what I desire, and I’ll respect the championship that I live for all the way through… But the one thing I can’t respect is you being the number one contender over me. I’ve been whippin’ your ass since January, son”.

That comment gets Edge and the fans fired up, as it looks like the two long time rivals may come to blows now, but instead, they are interrupted by the appearance of the WWE AND ECW Champion Rob Van Dam. The laid-back champion is the opposite to his rivals, remaining calm, cool and collected, getting an epic ovation from the Philly crowd as he makes his way down the ramp. He asks them to keep their cool. “Part of bein’ the champ means comin’ out here night after night and proving that you’re the best. I’m tryin’ to do that, but I had Edge ruined my match twice last week, and Cena, if you beat Edge’s ass now, you’ll ruin my match tonight as well”.

Edge doesn’t appreciate that, asking Rob why he thinks Cena would beat his ass, but RVD shrugs and says he thought it was obvious. “Now look, there’s a big show in store tonight so I’ll keep this short and sweet. I don’t decide who challenges for my titles, I just show up and smoke the competition. I have beaten both you dudes before and I’ll do it again If I need to, because nobody can measure up to… ROB…VAN…DAM”!

Both Cena and Edge take exception to this, with Cena chiming in first, telling Van Dam if that’s the way he feels, he should come inside the ring right now and see how he measures up. RVD smirks at that comment as Edge wonders if maybe RVD is afraid because he doesn’t have his buddies with him. The champ continues to be relaxed as he tells Edge that it’s funny, he mentioned that, and the next thing, The Sandman and Tommy Dreamer come through the crowd. The “ECDUB” chants from the pro ECW crowd are deafening at this point.

Edge straight away looks panicked and even Cena gets in a defensive stance, as he speaks again. “There’s a mutual respect between us, Rob, but that don’t mean I’ve forgotten that your ECW cronies have been tormenting me for MONTHS now. Y’all step into this ring, I’m layin’ it down and I’m ready to fight”. A dour warning is delivered by Cena, but Van Dam and his buddies don’t care, with the casual RVD almost chuckling at the fired-up Cena. Van Dam makes it clear that Edge started this by getting involved in Van Dam’s business and showing up at ECW last week, Cena doesn’t need to be collateral damage. As stubborn as ever Cena doesn’t budge, so looking at his colleagues, with a simple let’s do it from his lips, Van Dam begins the charge.

The three ECW guys storm the ring, and Sandman and Dreamer immediately charge at Edge, backing him into the corner and they begin teeing off. They are getting payback for Edge invading ECW last week, and this leaves Cena and RVD to go nose to nose. RVD shrugs as if to say are we going to do this, and Cena nods his head, and they begin trading punches, with Cena getting the early advantage…

ONLY FOR CENA TO GET ATTACKED FROM BEHIND BY DREAMER AND SANDMAN!!!

With Edge taken care of, it’s a three on one against Cena, as the crowd give a mixed reaction. As the beat down continues, Edge recovers, but rolls out of the ring, deciding to fight another day. Meanwhile, Sandman and Tommy hold Cena up… FLYING SIDEKICK FROM VAN DAM CONNECTS!!!

The impact of the blow causes Cena to tumble underneath the bottom rope and to the outside. “ECDUB” chants can be heard, as RVD and his back up have stood tall over his two polarising rivals, who will seemingly never get along.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

***

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
JULY 15TH, 2006
DALLAS, TEXAS
AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTRE

***

Match One
Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Seeing as we don’t have enough time in the show for another promo here, JR and The King expertly tell us that Melina got this match made by Mr. McMahon because she thought Carlito might struggle against somebody from his past. Well, struggle he did. Masters was awesome here, using his brute strength to throw around his former tag team partner, releasing some of the pent up hate he clearly still has for Carlito. With that being said, Carlito shows the will to fight back, showing just how much the IC Title means to him. They get into a hot finishing sequence where they both trade big time moves, UNTIL MASTERS GOES FOR THE MASTERLOCK… CARLITO WRIGGLES FREE…

AND GETS A VICTORY ROLL…1…2…3…NO!!! MASTERS JUST GETS OUT!!!

Both men bounce back to their feet, and a dishevelled Masters swings wildly with a Clothesline… Carlito ducks… BACKSTABBER CONNECTS!!!

CARLITO HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winner: Carlito via pinfall @ 5:44 ​

A cocksure Carlito smirks as the referee raises his hand, before celebrating and showing off to the adoring fans. Once ‘Lito realises that Masters is beginning to stir, he quickly signals that he’s coming for that IC Title, and tells the camera, “YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER, NITRO”!!!

With that, Carlito exits up the ramp, slapping hands with the fans and tossing his apple in the air as he does so. Meanwhile, in the ring, a recovered Chris Masters is fuming, kicking the ropes in frustration at falling short against his former friend once again.

…

In his office, Vince McMahon is wearing his traditional black wrestling singlet, looking as jacked and oiled up as ever. Look out lady, staffers. McMahon is basically just posing, admiring his own physique in the mirror, when the camera pans out to reveal that The Spirit Squad are looking on in awe also. McMahon looks at their reaction and laughs, telling them he knows that he’s a specimen for sure, hell even god couldn’t beat him in a wrestling match. “So if the holy spirit couldn’t beat me, what chance does the lowly son in law of mine have?”.

Even though it’s a rhetorical question, The SS make it VERY clear that they believe there is no way Triple H can beat McMahon tonight. The boss is pretty pleased with that response, “you’re damn right. The plan is already in place, divide and conquer. We’re going to Raw with DX, and with Shawn Michaels out of the way, I’m going to DESTROY Triple H tonight”! Vince says he’s extremely confident in himself getting the job done, and whilst he has security blocking the entrance way, “in the interest of fairness, I want you all at ringside for the match to make sure there’s no outside interference”.

The cheerleaders agree and McMahon is happy, before reminding them that they have a World Tag Team Title match coming up next. He asks who will be wrestling tonight, and Kenny and Nicky step forward, already wearing a title each. McMahon nods, seemingly okay with the decision, before Mikey talks. “Uh, Mr. McMahon sir, just before we go, we uh, had a little cheer that we wanted to dedicate to you if that’s okay”. Vinnie Mac ponders it for a moment, before agreeing to hearing the cheer.

A pumped-up Spirit Squad immediately get into formation and begin clapping along to a beat…

“THERE’S NO CHANCE IN HELL OF SHAWN MICHAELS IN THIS PLACE

THERE’S MANY CHANCES IN HELL OF MISTER MCMAHON BEATING TRIPLE H

WE’RE ABOUT TO GO OUT THERE AND DEFEND OUR TITLES

WE’LL MAKE YOU PROUD, SIR… BECAUSE YOU’RE OUR IDOL”!!! ​

Yuck, that’s bad, but The Spirit Squad mark out for their own cheer, and so does Vince McMahon. He loves it, telling them good work before sending them on their merry way. The Spirit Squad defend the World Tag Team Titles after the break.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Two
World Tag Team Championship Match
The Spirit Squad (c) defend against Gene Snitsky and Val Venis

Tag division is clearly thriving. A work in progress, I promise. Anyway, Kenny and Nicky are the guys competing in this one, whilst the remaining cheerleaders at ringside just being a general nuisance. Snitsky manages to intimidate The Spirit Squad just by being big and ugly, but Val actually shows some fight inside of the ring. It doesn’t last long though, as they manage to clear the ring of Snitsky, after he accidentally collects Venis with a Big Boot!

Kenny helps Val to his feet, SO NICKY CAN TAKE HIM DOWH A LEAPING REVERSE STO!!! Kenny then makes his way to the top rope… SKY HIGH LEG DROP CONNECTS!!!

The trio on the outside all unleash their spirit fingers, knowing the count from here is academic… AS KENNY MAKES THE COVER…1…2…3!!!

Winners: The Spirit Squad via pinfall @ 4:42
​

It’s a cheesy as hell celebration afterward from the five male cheerleaders, and the fans detest every moment of it. Into his megaphone, Mikey keeps making it clear that the performance was dedicated to Mr. McMahon. The fans hate that even more. The heat and the over-the-top celebrations continue, until we fade away…

…

In the backstage area, Rob Van Dam is performing the RVD stretch to warm up for tonight’s main event, but also because it looks cool. Meanwhile, because they’re the type to not really warm up, The Sandman downs a can of beer, whilst Tommy Dreamer just kind of lurks around. It isn’t wrong until a strange clear of the throat gets their attention, and they turn around to see The Coach staring at them in dismay. Despite not having any back up, The Coach has some attitude about him as he asks them if they’re proud of ruining the start of Raw tonight.

With his tone being a little over the top, Sandman and Dreamer look to threateningly approach Coach, however RVD has stopped stretching and holds them back. “Whoa Coach, you’ve got it all wrong, dude. Edge keeps getting involved in my matches, including matches on Raw which YOU invite me here for. We’re just trying to settle the score”. The Coach doesn’t take what Van Dam says seriously, making it be clear that he’s been sent here to have this discussion with them on behalf of the all-powerful Mr. McMahon himself.

“Our security team might seem busy with Shawn Michaels right now but don’t let that fool you. Sandman… Dreamer… You WILL NOT get yourselves involved in tonight’s main event. If you two ruin another moment, let another match on MY-… On Mr. McMahon’s show, let it be known that there will be hell to pay”.

Again, the attitude from Coach means that Sandman and Dreamer want to murder him, but the WWE/ECW Champion keeps them at bay. Van Dam tells Coach that they are only here in case they are needed, so if Coach keeps his monkey’s in check, they shouldn’t have any problems. With that, Coach snarls at them and leaves, whilst the trio of extremists are left to just shake their heads.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Three
The Highlanders vs. Two Unknown Jobbers

Squash/showcase match. Whatever you want to call it, The Highlanders get the job done here to show that they’re the real deal. It’s worth noting they play to the fans throughout, and they get a decent babyface reaction. After Alone blowing the opposition away, they put Jobber #1 away with the SCOT DROP!!!

ROBBIE WITH THE PIN…1…2…3!!!

Winners: The Highlanders via pinfall @ 02:57 ​

The Highlanders pump their fists and celebrate, enjoying the debut win, and again, the fans are right behind them. In an interesting note, we get a quick glimpse of Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch watching on a monitor in the back, looking far from impressed. That’s a story for another day though, as for right now, The Highlanders are able to continue to enjoy their celebration.

…

We’re back into the office of Vince McMahon, who unsurprisingly is performing a few resistance band bicep curls, showing off his physique yet again. He is once again joined by The Spirit Squad, who look to be in a celebratory mood after retaining their tag team titles. This time Shane McMahon and The Coach are also in the room; however, they look in less of a good mood. The Coach clearly agrees with Shane but doesn’t have the balls to say anything, whilst Shane asks Vince if he’s sure he thinks a match against Triple H is a good idea. Vince scoffs at the question, and says “of course it is, Shane. Look around you, look how happy our World Tag Team Champions are, they get it. You should have heard the cheer they performed for me earlier, it was incredible. Tonight, Triple H will pay for his actions, but before he does, maybe we should hear that cheer one more time. What do you say guys”?

The Spirit Squad look more than happy to oblige, getting in position, as Vince tells the apprehensive Shane and Coach to listen intently. As the cheer gets underway, there is a commotion at the door… AS A BUNCH OF FAT, TOPLESS, OILED UP, SWEATY MALE STRIPPERS BARGE INTO THE OFFICE!!!

Everybody looks appalled, as one of them carries a boom box playing ‘It’s Raining Men’. They begin dancing all over the McMahon’s, Coach and The Spirit Squad, as all Vince can do is yell, “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS”??? In all of the commotion and completely distracted by the adult entertainment, nobody realises that Triple H HAS SNUCK INTO THE ROOM ALSO!!!

TRIPLE H IMMEDIATELY JUMPS ALL OVER THE SPIRIT SQUAD MEMBERS… STRIKING WILDLY AT ALL OF THEM!!!

‘The Game’ goes to town, beating them up, before he gives Shane and Vince a nice punch to the face each as well, whilst The Coach somehow avoids contact. Trips continues to cause mayhem with everybody screaming for help… WHEN TRIPLE H THROWS JOHNNY INTO THE OFFICE WALL… CAUSING A HUGE CRACK IN THE PLASTER!!!

Before he can inflict any further damage, Triple H is seized by a bunch of security guards who must not be on Shawn Michaels duty. The security slowly drags Triple H away, as Vince lets him know he’ll pay for this, but all Triple H does is laugh out loud as he gets dragged away. A red-faced Vince is further infuriated and yells, "AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS RIGHT NOW!” He then gets up and charges past Triple H and the security team, looking like he might be making his way towards the ring.

…

It doesn’t take long for Vince McMahon to step through the curtain and storm down the ramp, now closely followed by Shane McMahon, The Coach and The Spirit Squad. His followers all look dishevelled and all look to be giving him some sort of different advice, but Vince ignores it all. In the ring, he demands a microphone and then further demands that Triple H get out here now. “Triple H, it’s time you pay up. When you mess with the devil, you get the horns, so suck it up and come get this ass kicking in what is now going to be a No Disqualification match”! Big announcement there which the fans like, whilst on commentary, JR suspects we might get some interference in this one.

Either way, a gleeful Triple H is relatively quick to respond now that he’s freed from the grasp of security. He makes his way out and surprisingly enough; the match begins with just the two competitors inside of the ring.

Match Four
No Disqualification Match
Mr. McMahon w/Shane McMahon, The Coach and The Spirit Squad vs. Triple H

The fiery Vince McMahon is ready to battle, and he requests a test of strength to start things off. Triple H finds it kind of funny and agrees to the battle, but ridiculously, Vince has to be put over, so he starts off with the advantage. Thankfully, eventually Triple H overpowers him, before they break the lock, and Hunter just begins beating the crap out of his father-in-law. Nothing overly fancy with just punches in bunches, with Trips ignoring the no DQ stipulation and trying to keep things inside the ring. After being battered for a while, Vince does manage to get a thumb to the eye to create some space between them… BUT THEN HE RUNS STRAIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER FROM ‘THE GAME’!!!

And that’s all she wrote for the one-on-one contest. TRIPLE H IS IMMEDIATELY SWARMED BY THE SPIRIT SQUAD WHO BEGIN TO STOMP THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!!!

The Coach and Shane get into the ring as well, but they’re more interested in checking on Vince, allowing the five cheerleaders to continue to do work. They continue to beat on Triple H until Vince recovers and begins calling the shots, WHICH RESULTS IN THE SPIRIT SQUAD LANDING THE HIGH SPIRITS!!!

VINCE MAKES THE COVER…1…2…3!!! NO!!! TRIPLE H GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!

The Spirit Squad seem a little shocked, but Vince hides his angst, instead demanding that Spirit Squad hit him with another one. A SECOND HIGH SPIRITS CONNECTS ON TRIPLE H!!!

Shane implores his father to go for the pin, but Vince doesn’t look interested in that option anymore. Instead, he barks at The Coach to “go and get a chair, damn it”, and The Coach immediately does as he’s told. Once the chairs back into the ring, Vinnie Mac continues to give orders, and Nicky places the chair around the neck of Triple H. The next instruction then goes to Kenny, as he’s told to go to the top rope and drop the leg on him.

Suddenly, the fans begin cheering like crazy though, as Shawn Michaels wanders out to the stage, a microphone in hand and a fat looking wallet in the other. “Well, well, well, ya’ look a little surprised to me, Vin man”. Indeed, Vince’s eyes are wide in shock, as are the rest of the heels in the ring who have momentarily forgotten about Triple H. “Ya’ see, with The Coach wanting to prove that he’s the ants pants with the ECW guys, and Hunter creating all the commotion earlier, it seems that security here in Philly forgot about little old me”. Shawn says that with everybody in a hurry to get out here and start this match, not only did security let him go, but Vince left his wallet behind and now Shawn has it.

This gets a tremendous pop from the fans, whilst McMahon begins losing his shit. Michaels claims that he’s decided to give some lucky fans who purchased tickets to tonight’s show their money back. SHAWN BEGINS THROWING VINCE’S MONEY INTO THE CROWD!!!

Vince immediately sends The Spirit Squad to retrieve his wallet, and they all leave the ring to charge at Shawn, but Shawn hops down the side of the stage and runs around them, before entering the ring. Vince, Shane and Coach immediately exit, but Vince still demands The Spirit Squad get his wallet back. The cheerleaders get into the ring, and they start to outnumber Shawn… BUT TRIPLE H IS BACK UP!!!

No Contest at 07:37 ​

Now The Spirit Squad are on the back foot, as Triple H throws Mikey out of the ring, and Shawn throws Nicky. Kenny is next to forcefully exit, followed by Johnny. Mitch is left inside of the ring though… MITCH WALKS INTO SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!!

Mitch stays on his feet and staggers into a boot to the gut… PEDIGREE FROM TRIPLE H!!!

Mitch is incapacitated and the rest of The Spirit Squad retreat, as The McMahons and Coach are furious on the stage. Getting a microphone, a rabid McMahon demands security to escort both of these men out of the arena. “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE SANDMAN AND TOMMY DREAMER GETTING INVOLVED IN RAW BUSINESS…. I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. I WANT THESE TWO GONE FROM MY ARENA… NOW”!!!

After a few beats, security run through the curtain and make their way towards the ring. A furious McMahon doesn’t even stay to watch, telling Coach to take care of it. Vince and Shane disappear, as Coach keeps a watchful eye on proceedings, as the security guards approach DX. What they don’t realise is that Shawn still has Vince’s wallet tucked in his back jean pocket. Anyway, DX surprisingly oblige and allow security to escort them out of the ring and up the ramp, the audience booing along with proceedings the entire time.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Five
Charlie Haas vs. Randy Orton

It’s worth noting for the sake of continuity that once in the ring, Haas was sure to give a thumbs up to Lilian Garcia. One man who wasn’t in the mood for a thumbs up or basically anything positive tonight was Randy Orton. After getting his win back over Angle at Vengeance, it’s clear he just wanted to keep his momentum going here tonight. To Haas’s credit, he gives a phenomenal effort and probably looks as good as he has since his World’s Greatest Tag Team days, but he still isn’t able to finish off Orton. In the end, Orton is just a little to good, LANDING AN RKO!!!

ORTON HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winner: Randy Orton @ 06:21 ​

After the match, Orton allows the referee to raise his hand in victory, before he relishes in the moment. Another day, another victory for Orton as he poses, which pleases some of the ladies in the audience, but doesn’t do much for the men. He continues to celebrate, as our commentators ponder what could be next on the agenda for Randy Orton.

…

In another area in the back, it seems we have a photo shoot in progress, as the Hollywood loving duo of WWE Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro and Melina pose for the cameras. Cameras are flashing like crazy, as the duo wear matching mink coats, looking like a million bucks. They get taken out of their modelling zone a little though, by some applause coming off screen. They both immediately screw up their faces as the cameras pan out to reveal that sarcastic claps are coming from Carlito.

Carlito starts off with a little jibe, “talk about faces that only a mother can love, huh”? The superstar from the Caribbean keeps his smirk as Nitro and Melina look less than pleased. Carlito then surprisingly compliments them, saying that he thinks using somebody from his past like Chris Masters was an inspired choice. Nobody knows Carlito the way Chris Masters does, but ‘Lito still managed to get the job done. “Ju probably a little disappointed that your plan didn’t work out. I’m sure you had to… Swallow a lot of apples with Mr. McMahon to get your choice of match”.

Melina’s jaw drops with that comment, and she screeches with anger, as Nitro points threateningly at Carlito. He presses on further though, saying now that he’s completed their little challenge, surely Nitro can finally grow a pair and agree to defend his Intercontinental Title against Carlito at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Nitro is a little lost for words, but Melina has managed to regain her composure, and has a smirk of her own before speaking. “Nope, not even close. This week was just round one of the challenge, you’ve still got one more round next week. If you pass next week’s test, you have our word that the title shot will be yours”.

Nodding his head in approval, Carlito seems okay with that stipulation, however Nitro looks at Melina a little confused. Melina turns to him and reassures him that she had already cleared it with Mr. McMahon and there is a second challenge already in play for next week. She just needs to clear it with a few other people for it to be completely signed off. Nitro looks to talk back, wanting more info… WHEN CARLITO SPITS APPLE AT BOTH OF THEM!!!

They are disgusted, with bits of chewed up apple all over them, including getting stuck in Melina’s cleavage. Carlito tells them, “Ju both still not cool” before walking away. Meanwhile, Nitro looks like he finally wants a piece of Carlito, but Melina desperately holds him back, telling him how angry their agent would be if they didn’t finish this photo shoot. Eventually Nitro settles, and the two focus on cleaning themselves up, apparently with big plans for next week.

…

In a locker room in the back, John Cena is lacing up his kicks, getting ready for action even though he’s not scheduled for a match tonight. He then stops and looks up as walking into the locker room are none other than Edge and Lita. Lita tries to give a seductive greeting to John, saying hey in a sultry voice, but he completely ignores her. Instead, he focuses on Edge, who is also kitted up for action, considering he’s in the main event tonight. Edge tells Cena that he’s glad to see that Cena is getting ready to kick some ECW ass tonight.

Cena stands up to go face to face with Edge, asking him, “who said it’s ECW ass that I plan on kickin’”? This causes Edge to freak out for a moment, before he tells Cena to listen to the voice of reason. “Tonight is not the night for our issues to get in the way of taking care of those ECW nobodies. Yeah, you hate me, but guess what, I DESPISE you with every fibre in my being. That DOESN’T matter tonight. What matters is that you have my back out there against Rob Van Dam”.

Cena thinks about it for a moment or two, before responding. “Let me make it perfectly clear for you, I will NEVER have your back. After what happened earlier tonight, I’m ready to kick some ECW ass, but I’m doin’ it for me. It ain’t about you. I won’t forget that you cost me the WWE Title last week, and you were ready to give me a conchairto. If anything once I’m done with those ECW boys, you better hope you ain’t still around because you’ll be next”.

There’s plenty of animosity between these two as they go nose to nose, breathing heavily. The tension continues to build until Lita gets in between them and slowly ushers Edge out of the ring. On his way out, Edge kicks the door, frustrated, realising he probably doesn’t have the support he was hoping he would have tonight.

…

Storming through a hallway in the back are Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon, with The Coach not too far behind. Vince McMahon is still ranting and raving, talking about how he just can’t wait to be out of this god forsaken city. “And I still don’t have my damn wallet”. As the trio turn a corner, almost at the doors to exit the arena, they come face to face with the source of McMahon’s pain, D Generation X. Shawn Michaels and Triple H are both casually leaning against the wall, with HBK twirling around Vince’s wallet in his fingers.

Vince sees it and immediately demands he get his wallet back, but Shawn tells him that he doesn’t think so. Triple H then pulls some Ben Franklin’s out of his pockets and admits that Vince’s wallet isn’t as stacked as it once was anyway. At this point, McMahon has just had enough, he’s ready to blow a gasket so he, his son and The Coach storm past DX and open up the exit doors.

Suddenly though, Shawn tosses the wallet to Triple H, who catches it and opens it back up. “Whoa, hold on, DAD. If you’re travelling with Coach, you’re gonna’ need one of these”, and Triple H grabs a condom from McMahon’s wallet and throws it at McMahon. Holy shit. A billionaire carries condoms in his wallet, watch out female staffers. Anyway, all of the heels are furious with this and storm away in embarrassment, as DX laugh amongst themselves, having gotten one up on the boss yet again.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Six
Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

A quick squash match to remind us all that Victoria is a bad ass. She brutalises the relatively untrained Torrie from the get-go, with Wilson only really getting a flash Roll Up as her only point of offensive. Once Victoria escaped that, she stepped her viciousness up to a whole new level. In the end, Victoria decides she had finished playing with her good, nailing the WIDOWS PEAK!!!

VICTORIA WITH THE COVER…1…2…3!!!

Winner: Victoria via pinfall @ 03:59 ​

The badass barely celebrates because she’s a bad ass. Vickie stands over her fallen opposition looking tough, whilst the fans give her heat. She’s proven her point tonight though, she’s not to be forgotten in this Trish/Mickie centric women’s division.

…

We head to a random area in the back, where for the second time tonight we see the WWE Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro. The champ looks rather nervous and anxious and it’s easy to see why, as the camera pans to reveal Umaga staring Nitro down. ‘The Samoan Bulldozer’ is breathing heavily and making all sorts of primal noises, and Nitro continues to be freaked out by it. It’s an interesting scene as one must wonder why they’re together, until further along we see Umaga’s handler, Armando Alejandro Estrada and Melina sharing what looks to be a pleasant conversation.

Viewers are unable to hear what was said, however we see the ending where AAE and Melina share a hug and a flirty kiss on the cheek, whilst Estrada tells Melina it was a pleasure doing business. Melina smiles and tells him likewise, before approaching Nitro and Umaga. Estrada beckons for Umaga and those two-leave screenshot, whilst Melina tells Nitro “Estrada brought in just like Mr. McMahon said he would. Next week, it’ll be Umaga going one on one with Carlito”.

Nitro and Melina share a celebratory hug, pumped with the news, as Nitro adds on that it’s about time that Punk Carlito gets what he deserves. That’s enough of Nitro talking though, so now we cut away…

…

I apologise as head booker, but this is WWE in 2006, so before the main event, we get some more D Generation X screen time. Shawn Michaels and Triple H are in good spirits, chatting away as they look to be heading towards their car to leave the arena. They get distracted though when they see a Mexican food truck parked nearby. Triple H admits that he could go for a taco, and Shawn pulls out Vince McMahon’s wallet and says that it’s on him. The two stroll their way to the window, only to realise that the worker has his back to them.

They knock on the truck to get the worker’s attention and the worker turns around, to reveal Mikey with a fake, black moustache. Both Michaels and Triple H are taken aback and are unsure how to react, as Mikey asks what he can get for them… WHEN KENNY AND NICKY COME FROM BEHIND AND RAM TRIPLE H AND SHAWN FACE FIRST INTO THE FOOD TRUCK!!!

It’s enough to put DX down, and now Kenny and Nicky continue the attack. They are joined by Mike, and now Johnny and Mitch appear from the truck also. They have their hands full with items from the food truck, but we don’t see those right away. Instead, TRIPLE H GETS THROWN INTO THE FOOD TRUCK AGAIN!!!

With one half of DX incapacitated, the tag champs now zero in on Shawn Michaels, slowly dragging him towards a parked car. After communicating on exactly what they will do… THEY THROW MICHAELS IN THE AIR… PERFORMING HIGH SPIRITS… AND SHAWN LANDS ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!!

Holy shit! DX have been completely taken down by The Spirit Squad. Kenny bends down and also snatches McMahon’s wallet, telling Shawn “we’ll be taking that”. They aren’t finished yet though, as Johnny and Mitch drag Shawn off of the hood of the car, and send him sprawled out on the concrete, next to his best friend. Both members are done when Nicky begins stomping on something that makes a crunch sound. It’s packets of corn chips from the food truck.

Now they have been crushed into millions of pieces, NICKY OPENS THE CORN CHIPS AND POURS THEM ALL OVER THE FALLEN DX!!!

ONLY FOR MIKEY TO THEN PICK UP THE OTHER ITEM THAT WAS BROUGHT FROM THE TRUCK… MIKEY POURS SALSA ALL OVER DX!!!

HBK and ‘The Game’ are defenceless, and they’ve been turned into human tacos. The Spirit Squad are jumping around like crazy, high fiving before Mikey yells, “THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES WHEN YOU MESS WITH MR. MCMAHON”! And well, it seems that even though it took a while and didn’t look like it would happen for a while, DX are now certainly feeling the consequences from their actions.

Main event, Edge vs. RVD… NEXT!!!

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Seven
Edge w/Lita vs. Rob Van Dam

The fans are firmly behind Van Dam is this one, and he ensures to roll out some of his classic high risk moves here in ECW territory. Edge holds his own though, thriving off the hate from the fans as usual. As things progress, it looks like RVD might just be a little better, so to even things out, Lita starts getting involved. Lita interferes a few times which allows Edge to maintain an advantage, but he’s unable to put Van Dam away. RVD fights back again… EVENTUALLY GOING FOR HIS FLYING SIDEKICK!!!

EDGE DROPS OUT OF THE WAY… AND THE REFEREE GETS KNOCKED OUT!!!

Edge quickly capitalises with a Spinning Heel Kick, before he demands that Lita bring him a chair. Lita gets the chair and slides it into the ring, but before he can use it… THE SANDMAN AND TOMMY DREAMER ARE BACK!!!

Both men wield Singapore Canes as they slide into the ring… SANDMAN AND DREAMER PINFALL EDGE AROUND THE RING WITH THE CANES!!!

“ECDUB” chants come through again, as Edge gets battered from pillar to post, when JOHN CENA RUNS OUT FROM THE BACK!!! Cena comes in with nothing but his fists, and he’s able to dodge Cane shots from Dreamer and Sandman, before landing a Double Clothesline! With the fans booing vehemently, Cena now gets his hand on one of the Singapore Canes… CENA WAILS AWAY AT DREAMER AND SANDMAN… SENDING THEM TUMBLING FROM THE RING!!!

Cena has saved Edge, even though we know deep down, he just wanted a piece of team ECW. With them all taken care of, Cena turns around… SPEAR FROM EDGE!!!

NO!!! CENA SIDESTEPS…

GETS EDGE UP…

CENA PLANS EDGE WITH THE FU!!!

This gets a mixed reaction as Cena plants his long-time rival. However, as Cena looks to exit the ring, he turns into Van Dam… RVD GOES FOR A KICK TO THE GUT…

CENA CATCHES IT…

ENZUIGURI FROM VAN DAM!!!

The blow sends Cena backing into the ropes, and Van Dam follows with a Clothesline to send Cena to the outside. “RVD” chants now take over from the pro ECW crowd, as Van Dam looks back towards Edge…

BUT GETS TAKEN DOWN…

WITH AN RKO…

FROM RANDY ORTON!!!

The ECW guys are down, Cena’s down, the competitors in the match are down, as a smirking Orton slides out of the ring and slowly backs up the ramp. Meanwhile, with RVD and Edge both out of it in the centre of the ring… EDGE MANAGES TO DRAPE AN ARM OVER THE CHEST OF VAN DAM…

…

AND OF COURSE, THE REFEREE JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE RECOVERED…

…

1…2…3!!!

Winner: Edge via pinfall @ 10:15 ​

Lita is straight into the ring, shocked by all the chaos but pleased that her man has managed to pull out the victory. Heat fills the arena as Edge is helped to his feet, and even in his dazed state, he makes a motion that he should be the number one contender now. Edge is victorious tonight, but the added element to this story is the inclusion of the man standing at the top of the stage with the same smirk on his face, Randy Orton. Why did Orton get involved in tonight’s main event and what does it mean? Thanks, JR. We get a last shot of Edge and Orton, now staring at each other as the show fades to black.

END OF SHOW

***

WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event
July 15th, 2006
Dallas, Texas
American Airlines Arena

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Rey Mysterio (c) defends against Mark Henry​

 

[Roy Mustang]

Another fun show. I like the twist in the main event of Orton getting involved to help Edge and did not see that coming. Add a fun dynamic to the RVD title situation. A lot of DX on the show but that is true for the time as is the tag division being a bit weak so credit to you for keeping that realistic. Melina and Nitro also were very fun and I like the use of Umaga to do their bidding. Curious how Carlito gets the win next week

 

[Stojy]

Apologies for the delay in moving this along. I usually pride myself on being active and providing feedback, but with increased responsibility at work, and the first baby Stojy on the way, life is incredibly busy. I do want to try and get through this story though so will post when I can. This show has been written for over a month, as has the next edition of SD. Hopefully I won’t take too long to post.

And roy, as for the tag division being weak on Raw, you’re right. It’s awful. Plans are in place to improve, however trying to do things gradually and not just click my fingers and make it easier for myself. We’ll see how it all pans out I guess. Anyway, here’s ECW.

ECW On Sci Fi
July 4th, 2006
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Wachovia Centre ​

“ECDUB”, “ECDUB”, “ECDUB” chants are at their absolute highest volume as the show comes to life, the loyal Philly fans showing they never gave up on the little promotion that could. It’s a surreal moment as those famous chants continue, as the cameras pan through the crowd to reveal some of the familiar fans (you all know straw hat guy is in attendance) for the show. There’s silence from the commentary team, everybody is just letting the atmosphere settle, when the fans mark out again because the creative genius himself, Paul Heyman appears on the titantron. The cheers are never ending for Heyman, and he smirks from behind his desk, thanking them for all of their support. “I truly meanly this from the bottom of heart when I say this but THANK YOU. If it wasn’t for your loyalty in particular, ECW wouldn’t be here right now. You kept us alive, Philly, and for that, I will forever be grateful”.

Even a bigger pop as a “PAUL E” chant now commences but Heyman doesn’t let it go on for too long, quickly waving it off. Heyman talks about how they can get all emotional about what ECW means to them anytime, right now he’s got some business to attend to. “I’m sure everybody’s overly familiar with all of the issues between certain Raw Superstars and ECW since Rob Van Dam became the WWE Champion. Tonight, we remind a certain one of those overhyped, coddles primadonnas what ECW is all about”! Yay. The fans are loving it as Heyman talks about how John Cena and especially Edge have been thorn in the side of Van Dam. According to Heyman, Edge really crossed a line last week when he invaded ECW and there will be hell to pay for that.

But tonight, isn’t even about Edge, tonight’s about “somebody who epitomises everything that ECW isn’t. Tonight is about somebody who epitomises what happens on Raw, somebody who gets opportunities because of their last name, not because they deserve it. Tonight is about Randy Orton”. Last night on Raw, RVD was fixing on finally putting Edge in his place, when Randy Orton decided to get involved. Tonight, for one night only, the invitation has been sent and it has been accepted. “Randy Orton will come for an excursion to the land of the extreme, and he’ll never be the same. Randy Orton will be here tonight to compete in the main event, and he will be going one on one with the WWE Champion, the ECW Champion and ‘The Whole F’ing Show’, ROB…VAN…DAM”!!!

The fans are looking forward to that one based on their reaction, and so is Heyman as he thanks them all for their time and tells them to enjoy the rest of the show.

…

We’re now at ringside but yet again, instead of focusing in on the commentary team, we’ve got some more important stuff to pay attention to. The cameras focus in on the podium where Kelly Kelly continues to try and get naked and standing in front of it is one Balls Mahoney. After his issues with Mike Knox last week, Balls is guarding the podium, armed with his trusty steel chair and he lets everybody know that “KELLY KELLY IS GETTING NAKED TONIGHT”!!!

Obviously, the fans are on Mahoney’s side, and they only get even happier as Kelly Kelly appears and makes her way towards the podium. Kelly seductively gets up there and begins moving her body, getting everybody excited, as she takes off her robe to reveal a set of bra and panties. Again, she draws it out, building anticipation, when she slowly looks like she’s ready to remove her first bra strap, when The Full Blooded Italians confront Mahoney. Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke tell Balls that this can’t be happening, people’s families could be watching.

This gets plenty of heat from the crowd and Mahoney, who simply tells them to back off, his chair ready to go if required. They plead they don’t wany violence, as Guido tries to get him onside, “Come on, amico, we’re just tryin’ ta’ do the right thing ‘ere”. Balls isn’t buying what they’re selling though, shaking his head… WHEN BALLS GETS CLOBBBERED FROM BEHIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR TO THE BACK…

BY MIKE KNOX!!!

Kelly sees the violence and Knox and immediately freaks out, scurrying off to the back, having still not gotten naked. Fair to say the boos from the crowd are loud as hell, as Knox and the Italians, an unlikely trio, continue to stomp the life out of Mahoney. It looks like Knox is the one calling the shots, as he tells the Italians that they should take Balls to the ring, and that’s what they do. Once in the ring they look to continue the assault, but Guido approaches Knox and asks about payment.

Knox rolls his eyes, a bit frustrated at being distracted, before he hands over some cash to The FBI. On commentary, Joey Styles paints the picture that Knox paid the Italians to distract Mahoney, it was all part of an elaborate plan. Tazz is impressed, as he talks about how smart that is after the issues Knox had with Balls last week. Meanwhile, inside of the ring, the attack continues, until Knox gets Guido and Mamaluke to hold Balls up.

Knox is ready with the chair again… WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT IN THE ARENA!!!

AND WHEN THEY COME BACK ON…

SABU IS IN THE RING, HITTING HIS POSE…

AND THE SANDMAN IS IN TOO!!!

Sabu immediately flies at Knox, knocking him down and they begin brawling. The Sandman has his trusty Singapore Cane with him… AND HE NAILS MAMALUKE WITH IT, CLEARING HIM FROM THE RING!!!

Sabu backs Knox up against the ropes, before picking up the steel chair… SABU LANDS A MODIFIED AIR SABU WHICH SENDS KNOX TUMBLING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

Those “ECDUB” chants are back, as The Sandman now has Guido cornered in the centre of the ring. Guido is begging off, as Sandman threatens him with the Cane. A desperate Guido offers The Sandman the money he just received from Knox, saying "please Paisan” but Sandman shrugs. “I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED TO SEE SOME TITTIES… AND I’VE NEVER LIKED ITALIANS ANYWAY”!!! With that, Guido’s eyes go wide in fear… THE SANDMAN BRINGS THE CANE CRACKING ACROSS THE HEAD OF GUIDO!!!

Guido drops to the canvas and rolls to the outside, where he convalesces with the other heels. Inside of the ring, Balls Mahoney has recovered from the attack, and he thanks his saviours. Sabu, Sandman and Mahoney stand strong, calling for the heels to come back, who seem to be seriously considering it, and with absolute chaos reigning supreme to start the night, we cut to commercials.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match One
Balls Mahoney, Sabu and The Sandman vs. Mike Knox and The Full Blooded Italians

During the break, Heyman decided to let these guys duke it out, because this is ECW and we are in Philly, and it wouldn’t be a REAL ECW show without an impromptu match, baby. Anyway, even though they are annoyed at being thwarted before the commercials, Guido and Mamaluke don’t really have a proper investment in this match. They already got paid. What this means is that when the going gets tough, they decide to hightail it. Mamaluke grabs Guido off a table that was set up on the outside, making sure Sabu can’t demolish him. Unfortunately for the Italians though, as they retreat, THE SANDMAN AND SABU CHASE THEM UP THE RAMP AND THROUGH TO THE BACK!!!

This leaves us with Knox and Balls duking it out for the second week in a row. For the second week in a row, Balls just isn’t quite able to get the job done. He ends up bringing in his trusty steel chair, desperate to brain Knox with it, but Knox avoids the shot. Knox then kicks Mahoney in the gut, forcing Mahoney to drop the chair… BEFORE HE LANDS THE KNOX UP!!!

KNOX WITH THE COVER…1…2…3!!!

Winners: Mike Knox and The Full Blooded Italians via pinfall @ 07:22
​

It’s a pretty deflated mood around the arena after this result, as Knox gets his hand raised, before roughly shooing away the referee. Sending a message to Mahoney, Knox talks trash, telling him to stay out of his business with Kelly, before going back to showing off the displeasured audience.

…

Finally, Joey Styles and Tazz get some screen time, and they talk about what a crazy start to the show we’ve had. Tazz makes it clear that it really does feel like the old days in Philly tonight. Impromptu brawls, Heyman calling out superstars from Raw, Tazz loves it. Joey gets things back on track as they then give some shine to the main event, excitedly hyping up the Randy Orton versus Rob Van Dam battle which is still to come. After giving some very pro Van Dam thoughts, Joey hands over to Tazz, who also sells just how talented Orton is. They then send us to the backstage area.

…

To the interview set we go where Rebecca DiPietro is a little weary as she introduces her guest, The Big Show. The five-hundred-pound giant looks to be in less than a good mood, as he gets awfully close to DiPietro. She gets a little anxious, stuttering a little before mentioning that Big Show requested this time, so she wonders what he has on his mind. Show just snatches the mic from her and nods for her to disappear so she does so. "I didn’t make the move to ECW to talk, I made it to fight. I’m here to show everybody just what sort of damage an EXTREME giant can do. Tonight. Open Challenge. Whoever wants it can get it. I’ll be waiting”. After spitting some words and some saliva, Show drops the mic and storms off camera, apparently meaning all business tonight.

…

We head to a different area in the back where one of the participants in tonight’s main event, the double champion Rob Van Dam is standing by. He’s all kitted up in his wrestling gear and he looks ready to go, but admittedly he doesn’t look as laid back as usual. Van Dam starts it off by addressing his mood, saying that he knows he’s usually a pretty chill kind of guy, but certain things are starting to get on his nerves. “So strap on it, folks. I know I’m usually the guy who doesn’t say much except for cool and dude, but it’s about time ‘The Whole F’n show’ expands his vocabulary”.

This gets a big pop from the fans inside of the arena, as Van Dam talks about his issues with John Cena, Edge and now, apparently Randy Orton. Van Dam admits that he has a certain level of respect for Cena, because every confrontation they’ve had has been face to face, but he can’t say the same for the other two. “Edge has attacked me from behind time and time again, and I’m sick of it. He’ll get what’s coming to him real soon, RVD’s gonna’ smoke his ass. As for Randy Orton, you stuck your nose in business where it didn’t long, and now I’m gonna’ kick it off your frickin’ face.”

The champion talks a little about how Orton has given him the unique opportunity, where he wants revenge on Orton, but he cans also use Orton to send a message to Edge. “I’ve made it clear I’ll take on anybody, so can you all please just grow a sack and challenge me face to face." For tonight though, he makes it clear there will be no jokes, no laidback attitude, no thumbs pointing at shoulders, tonight Van Dam promises that he’s going old school. “I’m gonna’ take you to the extreme, Randy, and if I have it my way, you just might not make it back”. A very serious Van Dam tonight as we head back to ringside.

…

***

We now get a vignette hyping up the future debut of TEST on ECW. The vignette basically just shows a bunch of highlights of Test lifting weights and beating up some nameless jobbers. He looks absolutely jacked as he runs through people with his epic Big Boot. The video ends with “TEST… RETURNING NEXT WEEK”!

***

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

***

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
JULY 15TH, 2006
DALLAS, TEXAS
AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTRE

***
​

In the backstage area, standing in front of the interview set, a pumped-up Stevie Richards is standing by. Donned in his pink tights, and running a hand through his wet hair, Stevie smirks as he talks about how good it feels to be back in ECW. He even goes as far as to say that you could argue that outside of his time in ECW, his career hasn’t reached the heights he would have liked. “That all changes starting tonight. ECW isn’t just my old stomping grounds, it’s something I feel in here”. For your information, a passionate Stevie is pointing to his heart. “The land of extreme inspires me to be the best that I can be. No more restrictions, no more rules, I can do and say what I want”.

Richards talks about how at one point he was one pinfall away from being the ECW Champion and he plans on getting back there. “I’ll start working my way back up that ladder of success tonight, and I can’t think of a better man to beat to do it than… THE BIG SHOW!!! The fact that you want to waddle out to the ring every night and call yourself extreme makes me sick. I’M GONNA’ SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF EXTREME… THE HOUSE THAT STEVIE RICHARDS BUILT”!!! He’s obviously taking some creative liberties but whatever. Stevie walks off screenshot as everybody is left wondering if he has a death wish to accept Big Show’s challenge.

…

Inside his own personal locker room, Kurt Angle is approached by Rebecca DiPietro. Rebecca apologises for approaching Kurt like this but wants his thoughts on what went down last week. He didn’t get a chance to defeat the WWE and ECW Champion Rob Van Dam, so what does that do to his title ambitions. Kurt nods at the question before letting Rebecca know that the answer is surprisingly simple. “What did that slimy bastard Edge getting involved do to my chances of winning a World title? NOTHING”. Kurt lets it be known that whilst he didn’t beat Van Dam, he damn sure didn’t lose to him either. As far as Angle’s concerned, that means he’s still the best man to be named number one contender.

“It also might mean that I just need to take a slight detour to my title destination… AND KICK EDGE’S ASS FIRST”!!! Angle talks about his history with Edge, and how he’s always had respect for him, until recently. And if he’s got to break Edge’s ankle for him to smarten up and stay the hell out of his way then so be it. “Because let me just make it as clear as I can. NOTHING and NOBODY is gonna’ stop me from winning the t-…” Kurt is interrupted as there’s a crack like noise on the locker room door, and it turns out a Singapore Cane has been swung into the door… By Justin Credible.

Credible cockily swaggers into the room and tells Kurt that he couldn’t help but overhear him, and he thought he’d come and correct him because of how wrong he is. “You see, you might be a former champion and you might be an Olympic Gold Medallist, but that all means squat here. ECW couldn’t be anymore different to the environments you’ve succeeded in”. Credible lets Kurt know that he should sit back, relax, slowly get accustomed to ECW, and watch a guy who knows how to succeed here operate. Credible tells Angle that he should pay attention to what Credible does, because Credible is a former ECW Champion.

“You say nobody can stop you, but newsflash, Kurt, nobody needs to, because I’m around. And I WILL be the next ECW Champion… That’s not just the coolest… That’s just not the best… That’s Just Incredible”. Credible is ultra-smug but the intense Angle doesn’t explode yet, instead pointing down at Credible’s feet. Credible seems confused, but Angle explains, “If you don’t get out of my face, THAT… Is about to be a broken freakin’ ankle”!!! Rebecca has gotten the picture and scurries off, as the two go nose to nose now. Angle is almost salivating at the thought of a fight, until Credible, awfully confident whilst armed with his Singapore Cane, slowly backs away.

…

Match Two
Stevie Richards vs. The Big Show

Stevie comes to the ring full of piss and vinegar, and it’s quickly squashed out of him. Show throws Richards across the ring and just beats the living hell out of him. Once he gets bored, BIG SHOW CHOKESLAMS RICHARDS!!! Even though Stevie is basically dead, instead of going for the cover, the rabid Big Show hoists him back up, and places him seated on the top rope. After a couple of his vicious chops to the chest, SHOW CHOKESLAMS RICHARDS OFF OF THE TOP ROPE!!!

Because he’s extreme~! BIG SHOW COVERS WITH ONE PALM ON THE CHEST OF STEVIE…1…2…3!!!

Winner: The Big Show via pinfall @ 1:48
​

The Big Show reigns supreme in dominant fashion, perhaps ending Stevie Richards’ hopes of being the man in ECW. Show shrugs off the referee and pulls down his singlet strap, looking everything like the beast that he should like. Suddenly, the fans begin to stir, and Show seems a little surprised… TURNING STRAIGHT INTO A CHAIR SHOT FROM THE HEAD!!!

BY TOMMY DREAMER!!!

Show somehow stays on his feet, staggering slightly… SO DREAMER CREAMS HIM WITH THE CHAIR AGAIN!!!

Big time “ECDUB” chants come from the audience, as the second blow causes Show to stagger backwards, and fall into the ropes. The ring ropes keep the giant up, and he rebounds, looking to come at Dreamer again… DREAMER SWINGS FOR THE FENCES… BUT SHOW PUNCHES THE STEEL CHAIR STRAIGHT OUT OF TOMMY’S HANDS!!!

Tommy’s jaw drops and he has an ‘oh shit’ look on his face, AS SHOW GRABS DREAMER AROUND THE THROAT…

TOMMY KICKS HIM IN THE BALLS TO BREAK HIS GRIP!!!

As Show bends down to grab at his sack, Tommy bounces off the ropes to build momentum… BUT SHOW SWATS HIM AWAY WITH SUCH POWER THAT DREAMER ROLLS UNDERNEATH THE BOTTOM ROPE AND TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

Show lets out a roar and invites Dreamer back in, and Dreamer looks to slide back in…

BUT HE’S STOPPED BY SECURITY!!!

The heat from the Philly fans is ungodly because all they want to do is see these two men fight. Show remains in the ring, whilst Tommy fights tooth and nail to break free from security but he can’t. Eventually, a furious Tommy gets ushered up the ramp, but he stops on the stage and manages to convince security to allow him a microphone. “I WANT YOU AT SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT YA’ BIG SON OF A BITCH”!!! There is a pop from the crowd now, albeit still slightly muted due to the lack of action in the present. Dreamer keeps getting ushered through the curtain by the dogged security, but before he does, Big Show nods his head. He looks like he might be looking forward to Saturday Night’s Main Event all of a sudden. On commentary, Joey Styles and Tazz talk up how big of a match that could be if it gets signed, before hyping up Randy Orton vs. the double champ RVD, which takes place after the break.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
​

After the final break of the evening, Joey Styles and Tazz announce that they’ve received word from Paul Heyman that the match is official, and Tommy Dreamer vs. The Big Show will take place at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Oh, and it will be an Extreme Rules match! As the two look to discuss the match in more detail, there microphones suddenly die, and the arena goes pitch black.

***

The titantron comes alive, the only light in the arena, as with a black background, a bunch of red text appears…

“THE FOLLOWING ADVERTISEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR… BY THE COACH”!!!

With that, “Burn In My Light” plays over the video, as we see different clips of Randy Orton dropping foes with the RKO. From there, we see footage from last night with Orton taking out Van Dam, before we see a random clip of Orton performing his pose on the top of the stage amongst the gold pyro.

***​

Styles and Tazz are appalled and so are the fans, who are giving the loudest amount of heat they have given all night. As our commentary duo try and get things back on track, we cut away.

…

Having not learned his lesson since last week, the Sci Fi Vampire is back, lurking around the parking lot, scaring random people. He continues to scare people and walk around mysteriously, when he turns a corner and bumps into The Sandman. Unfortunately, The Sandman happened to be mid beer drink and Vamp has caused him to spill his drink. Vamp’s life flashes before his eyes after last week’s attack, as he looks to run away, BUT THE SANDMAN GRABS HIM BY THE COLLAR!!!

The vampire comically jogs on the spot, unable to move, as The Sandman shakes his head and yells, “IF YOU’RE NOT ALREADY DEAD, YOU’RE ABOUT TO BE”! Guess what happens next? The Sandman pulls a Singapore Cane out the back of his pants… AND THE SANDMAN KO’S THE VAMPIRE WITH A CANE SHOT TO THE HEAD!!!

A victim of Hardcore, the vampire is down and not moving… BUT SANDMAN JUST KEEPS LAYING IN SHOTS ANYWAY BECAUSE ECW!!!

Once his Cane is awfully bent out of shape, Sandman finally stops, huffing and puffing because he has blown himself up. He then pulls out a cigarette and prepares to have a smoke as we cut away.

…

We now see the WWE/ECW Champion Rob Van Dam looking ready for action, walking his way towards the Gorilla Position, when he’s stopped by somebody desperately calling his name. Van Dam turns around and it’s Tommy Dreamer who is running to catch him. Van Dam stops for a second, “Look, Tommy, bro, whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait a little while. I’m just about to go out there for my match”. Dreamer looks apologetic, as he states that he knows how important tonight is, but there is a VERY important reason why Tommy has stopped Van Dam.

“I’ve never been one to be selfish, Rob, but stopping you right now before my match is selfish, and what I’m about to tell you is just as selfish”. This definitely gets the champions attention as he stops trying to turn away so he can listen to what Dreamer has to say. Tommy talks about how nobody it’s saying, but it’s easy to see that this Raw versus ECW issue doesn’t look like it will be ending anytime soon. “Rob, NOBODY is more pro ECW than I am. NOBODY loves this place more than I do, but right now, that fight with Raw, it’s not my fight. It’s YOUR fight. I’ve had your back the last few weeks on Raw, but this is where it ends for me. Raw aren’t coming for ECW, they’re gunning for your title. It’s YOUR fight”.

RVD doesn’t really know what to say, just kind of shrugging but Tommy isn’t finished. Dreamer calls himself a team player. “I’m doing something for me, I’m stepping out of this war, so I can start my own war with The Big Show. That needs all my attention, but I’d never leave you high and dry. You need a third to have your back along with The Sandman if anything else happens with Orton, Edge and Cena, I’ve got just the guy”. With that, Dreamer points behind RVD, where one of ECW’s newest members, Kurt Angle stands.

Kurt lets Van Dam know that he’s ready, and Van Dam thanks them both, before telling Tommy to do his thing against Show. The champ then turns towards Angle, “keep an eye out because we can’t guarantee we won’t have an Edge and Cena free night tonight. If we make it through this war alive, you’ll get your title shot, dude”. Some added incentive from Angle for sure, as he and Dreamer share a nod, whilst RVD continues on his way to make an appearance in tonight’s main event.

…

Match Three
Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

As what seems to be the norm as of late, RVD is EXTREMELY fired up for this one, showing a temper and fire as opposed to his usual relaxed nature. Orton is Orton though, he’s cocky, but he’s also cerebral and precise as he waits for the moment for RVD to make a mistake and then he pounces. These two go at it with neither looking any closer to picking up the victory, when EDGE MAKES HIS WAY THROUGH THE CROWD AND LOOKS TO GET INVOLVED!!!

Edge goes to slide into the ring… BUT HE’S CUT OFF BY THE SANDMAN… WHO WAS LURKING IN THE CROWD HAVING A DRINK WITH SOME FANS!!!

THE SANDMAN AND EDGE DUKE IT OUT ON THE OUTSIDE…

Meanwhile inside of the ring, Orton and Van Dam continue to go at it, when JOHN CENA APPEARS!!! Cena comes from nowhere and he’s got a face of stone, not looking his usual self. Van Dam and Orton have taken each other out with a Double Clothesline, as Cena slides into the ring, weighing up who to attack. Before he can do anything though…

CENA GETS TRIPPED UP AND PULLED OUT OF THE RING BY KURT ANGLE!!!

They start brawling, it’s chaos with the fans chanting “ECDUB” at their absolute loudest. With mayhem surrounding the ring, and Orton and Van Dam getting up and deciding to join the carnage on the outside, the ref waves the match off.

No Contest at 7:07 ​

The bell rings which pisses off some of the native ECW fans, however the wrestlers wouldn’t know it. The brawl continues between all six men, when Tommy Dreamer stumbles through the curtain, being battered onto the stage by The Big Show. This pairing joins the brawl, and all eight men are going at, “ECDUB” chants ringing out, when Paul Heyman shows up on the titantron and demands the referee ring the bell. We’ve got ourselves an impromptu eight-man tag to finish the show…

Match Four
Edge, John Cena, Randy Orton and The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, The Sandman and Tommy Dreamer

To be fair, this isn’t much of a tag match and more an old school ECW style brawl. The referee isn’t upholding the legal man rule, and these eight men are just allowed to go at. You’d argue that team Raw has the star power and skill advantage, but every time the match gets Hardcore, The Sandman and Dreamer more than hold their own. We end up having pairings inside the ring, and through the crowd, leaving us with Tommy Dreamer and Big Show in the ring.

Big Show is throwing Dreamer around like a plaything, zeroing in on another victory, however RVD sneaks into the ring, having disposed of Orton. On the mat, Tommy picks up a discarded chair and tosses it at Show… BIG SHOW CATCHES THE CHAIR…

VAN DAMINATOR CONNECTS!!!

Big Show had no idea the shot was coming, as he staggers backwards… TOMMY GETS A ROLL UP…1…2…3!!!

SHOW KICKS OUT…

BUT HE’S JUST TO LATE!!!

Winners: Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, The Sandman and Tommy Dreamer via pinfall at 7:28​

TEAM ECW WINS AND THE FANS ARE PUMPED!!! “ECDUB” chants start again but there’s no time for celebration as Show is back at his feet. The fight continues between these three, and Orton joins to even up the numbers. It isn’t long until Sandman, Angle, Cena and Edge are back in the ring as well and mayhem commences. Eight men, beating the absolute shit out of each other… UNTIL BIG SHOW CHOKESLAMS VAN DAM!!!

ANGLE COPS A CHOKESLAM AS WELL!!!

The Sandman and Dreamer are still doing well against Orton, Edge and Cena, mainly thanks to a steel chair and Singapore Cane… DOUBLE GOOZLE…

SHOW CHOKESLAMS BOTH OF THEM!!!

Edge and Orton look happy, whilst Cena clearly hates that he’s stuck in a war where his teammates are who they are. He doesn’t get to long to be upset though… BECAUSE BIG SHOW NAILS CENA WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!

Edge and Orton are happy with this, patting Show on the back, telling him Cena isn’t like them… BIG SHOW RUNS THROUGH THEM WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!

The fresher of the two, Edge is up first… CHOKESLAM!!!

CHOKESLAM TO ORTON!!!

THE BIG SHOW HAS JUST TAKEN OUT EVERYBODY AND LETS OUT A ROAR, as the new and improved, EXTREME Big Show ends the show on top.

END OF SHOW

***

WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event
July 15th, 2006
Dallas, Texas
American Airlines Arena

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Rey Mysterio (c) defends against Mark Henry

Extreme Rules Match
The Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer​

 

[Stojy]

And the last show that was written back in October. Would expect quite the delay in terms of when I’ll finish Raw and post the next one.

WWE Smackdown
July 7th, 2006
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Wachovia Centre

We return with a video package, showing highlights of the career of Batista so far, most coming from his DOMINANT reign as World Heavyweight Champion. We then see clips of Batista being forced to relinquish the title due to injury, and the promise that he’ll be back, and he will be champion again. The video ends with a picture of an intense looking Batista with the caption of… “BATISTA RETURNS… TONIGHT”!!!​

…

After the video, we cut straight into the arena where the Philly fans are cheering raucously, everybody majorly amped up to see the return of the former World Heavyweight Champion tonight. Equally excited behind the commentary desk is Michael Cole, who welcomes us to the show with his usual pep, before JBL plays it a little more cool, insulting Cole instead of complimenting Batista. The two banter a little before getting back to the action and talking about what’s on for the rest of the night.

BATISTA WILL BE IN THAT VERY RING TONIGHT TO ANNOUNCE HIS RETURN IN PERSON

FINLAY AND WILLIAM REGAL VS. MATT HARDY AND WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION REY MYSTERIO

HARDCORE HOLLY AND SCOTTY 2 HOTTY VS. THE REDNECK MESSIAHS

JOEY MERCURY VS. MR. KENNEDY

TATANKA VS. THE GREAT KHALI

WE WILL HEAR FROM THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER MARK HENRY AFTER HIS HEINOUS ACTIONS LAST WEEK

KICKING OFF THE SHOW IS A CRUISERWEIGHT BATTLE ROYAL TO DETERMINE THE NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE​

Cole and JBL talk about what a night it is ahead of us all, before zeroing in and discussing the competitors in the Cruiserweight Battle Royal that’s about to go down. They don’t get to far into it though, when we get a surprise appearance from the WWE Cruiserweight Champion himself, Gregory Helms. Rather than make his way into the ring, the arrogant champ walks around the squared circle, yapping to the fans, before plopping himself on a spare chair next to JBL. Cole announces that they are being greeted by an unexpected guest and wonders why Helms is out here. Helms looks incredulous whilst JBL chimes in, apologizing for Cole, saying that he’s never been a champion or a competitor at anything in his life, other than who uses the most hair gel. Helms loves JBL’s joke, but then gets a little more serious. “To give the obvious answer to your question, Michael, I’m out here to scout the competition. Whoever wins this Battle Royal gets a Cruiserweight title shot, next me. I haven’t held this title for six months and been virtually unbeatable just because I’m the best athlete, it’s because I take the time, I watch the tape and I study my opponents. That a good enough answer for you”? Cole says it is, but he clearly isn’t trusting that Helms isn’t up to something dodgy, whilst JBL says that he admires Helms attitude, the attitude of a champion.

Match One
Winner gets a shot at WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cruiserweight Battle Royal
Brian Kendrick vs. Funaki vs. Paul London vs. Psicosis vs. Simon Dean vs. Super Crazy

Admittedly a bit of a thin Battle Royal because guys like Noble, Kash and Scotty are booked, and I won’t have them pulling double duty. Anyway, this one is your pretty standard Battle Royal, with Helms making sure to trash talk everybody involved. They battle it out for a little while, before after being nailed with a Moonsault by Super Crazy, Simon Dean decides to roll to the outside and hide underneath the ring. With Dean having been a nuisance since the beginning of the match, Crazy now gets to focus his attention on his former friend, Psicosis. The two get into a hockey fight, brawling away in the centre of the ring… WHILST KENDRICK AND LONDON WORK TOGETHER TO ELIMINATE FUNAKI!!!

Elimination #1 – Funaki

The WWE Tag Team Champions London and Kendrick share a look, and ponder fighting each other, but they decide against it. Instead, they look to break up the fight and take on a former Mexicool each. London takes on Super Crazy, whilst Kendrick handles Psicosis, until Kendrick heads to the top rope… KENDRICK LEAPS OFF FOR A HURRICANRANA…

PSICOSIS REVERSES INTO A SIT OUT POWERBOMB!!!

Psicosis gets up and shows off more of his new attitude, posing to the fans which gets him some heat. Out of the corner of his eye, Super Crazy sees this and breaks free from London… AND CRAZY GRABS PSICOSIS AND THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

Elimination #2 – Psicosis

London tries to grab at Crazy again, but Crazy sends London into the corner. He then looks at London, and even takes the time to look over at Helms and the Cruiserweight Title. He thinks about it some more… AND THEN CRAZY RUNS AND LEAPS OVER THE TOP ROPE… TAKING OUT PSICOSIS WITH A FLIPPING SENTON…

BUT ELMINATING HIMSELF FROM THE MATCH IN THE PROCESS!!!

Elimination #3 – Super Crazy

On commentary, Helms says that’s exactly what he expected because he saw fear in the eyes of Super Crazy just now. Cole disagrees, stating that Psicosis cost Crazy the title last week, and right now, the only thing on Crazy’s mind is revenge. Speaking of which, they don’t stop brawling, hammering away at each other, and they fight their way up the stage and to the back. Inside of the ring, London and Kendrick are the only ones left. They shake hands, before getting into it, with neither man holding back. After some real athletic stuff, they end up in a clinch like situation, with both trying to manoeuvre the other over the top rope.

Both men are leaning against the top, slightly off balance… WHEN SIMON DEANS RUNS TO ELIMINATE BOTH OF THEM!!!

BUT THEY DUCK AT THE LAST SECOND…

DEAN GETS BACK BODY DROPPED OVER THE TOP ROPE AND HE’S OUT!!!

Elimination #4 – Simon Dean

London is pumped up after that elimination, looking to slap Kendrick some five… BUT KENDRICK YANKS ON LONDON’S EXPOSED ARM TO GET HIM OFF BALANCE…

BEFORE TOSSING HIM TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

Elimination #5 – Paul London

Winner: Brian Kendrick via elimination @ 8:39 ​

There’s a big pop from the fans as a fan favourite got up, and whilst Kendrick is pumped with the victory, he’s a little concerned with how he just treated his tag partner. Kendrick heads to the outside and approaches London, holding out his hand and apologizing. London simply nods and smirks, telling Kendrick that at least it’s one of them, and tells him to get back in the ring and enjoy his moment.

The two share a hug which gets a nice response, before London heads to the back, and Kendrick gets back into the ring. Kendrick continues to celebrate as he’s now earned himself a shot at the WWE Cruiserweight Championship.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK- ​

After the break, Brian Kendrick is still in the ring, enjoying his moment, when the WWE Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms leaves the announce table and slides into the ring. Proclaiming his innocence, Helms claims he comes in peace, as he brings with him a microphone. Helms firstly congratulates Kendrick on an impressive performance, before beginning to give some attitude. “I honestly thought you were JUST another tag team wrestler, but that was a good win for somebody like you. You exceeded my expectations, you overachieved, hell that stunt you pulled on your partner, that’s something I’d do”. Helms offers his hand to Kendrick, acting all earnest, but Kendrick shakes his head and finds a microphone of his own. Kendrick tells Helms to keep his fake compliments and his undercover sass to himself, “keep your comparisons to yourself too. I’m NOTHING like you, I’m a fighter, I respect competition and I respect that title. All your cheating, all your antics to keep hold of the Cruiserweight belt, it all comes to an end next week”.

The fans pop for Kendrick’s response but Helms looks like he’s ready to lose it. He lets it be known that he can’t believe the disrespect shown by the ungrateful challenger. “Here I am, going out of my way to show you respect, and you have the audacity to throw it back in my face. You’re an ungrateful little, punk. You know what, you’ve gone and pushed me too far now. I don’t want to wait until next week. For somebody who just competed, you seem to still have enough pep in your step to talk trash, so why don’t we have our title match RIGHT NOW!!!” The fans like that, and Kendrick does to, however on commentary, Michael Cole and Tazz feel like Helms is goading Kendrick in to challenging for the title when he’s already had a match tonight. Either way, both competitors seem down for it, when Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long appears on the titantron. Teddy is strutting down a hallway, until he heads into the referee’s locker room, and tells somebody to get out there, because he’s sanctioning a Cruiserweight Title match right now, playa. One of the ref’s jumps up and sprints out of the locker room, and it looks like we’re having an unplanned Cruiserweight Title match right now.

Match Two
WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Gregory Helms (c) defends against Brian Kendrick

Having already competed, maybe Kendrick wasn’t tired, and he was just ‘warmed up’, because the first few minutes of this contest, he has Helms severely off his game. Kendrick gets several near falls with some flash pins and manages to keep Helms off balance with his high-risk, high-octane balance. Showing his big singles match experience advantage though, Helms isn’t afraid to head to the outside to halt the momentum of Kendrick. Eventually back inside of the ring, Helms is able to take control, and he just grinds on the challenger, using a lot of rest holds to frustrate Kendrick. The fans seem to be getting a little frustrated to, whilst Tazz keeps telling us that it seems like Helms is just trying to drag this out to the point where Kendrick is exhausted.

And that’s pretty much exactly what happens. KENDRICK EVEN LANDS SLICED BREAD NUMBER TWO!!!

BUT HE’S UNABLE TO MAKE THE PIN AS HE LAYS FLAT ON THE MAT, GASPING FOR AIR!!!

Eventually Kendrick crawls over… KENDRICK PUTS AN ARM OVER THE CHEST OF HELMS…1…2…3!!!

NO!!! HELMS GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!

If Kendrick was fresher, maybe he would have got the job done. Anyway, Kendrick gets back up and begins exerting all this effort to hoist the dead weight of Helms up. He gets Helms to his knees, when Kendrick is forced to stop and place his own hands on his knees, taking a breath… WHEN HELMS EXPLODES WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE!!!

Kendrick grabs at his eyes as if he can’t see, and HELMS FOLLOWS UP WITH THE NIGHTMARE ON HELMS STREET!!!

HELMS HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winner: Gregory Helms via pinfall @ 7:05 ​

The audience aren’t happy, but the Cruiserweight Champion certainly is. He gets back to his feet and snatches the title from the referee, celebrating and pointing to his brain. He knows having this match tonight was a smart move and it may be the deciding factor in why he has kept his beloved title. Helms takes one last look at Kendrick and snickers before posing with his title, receiving plenty of heat as he does so.

…

We now head to what is supposed to be a locker room but has been seriously renovated. There are two scantily clad women, wearing gold plated skirts that look like they could be from the Roman empire, and they are standing next to a gigantic gold throne. Who sits on that throne? None other than King Booker himself. Queen Sharmell barks instructions at the two workers, and one of them immediately begins massaging the forearm of their king. The other looks set to begin feeding grapes to Booker, but the king looks flabbergasted. “HOW DARE YOU SHALL TRY AND FEED YOUR KING AN UNVETTED GRAPE? SOME HEATHEN COULD HAVE TRIED TO POISION THE ROYAL GRAPES”! Booker shakes his head as if he can’t believe the incompetence, whilst Sharmell forces the grape lady to taste a grape.

Booker and Sharmell stare at her comically for a few seconds, before deciding that she hasn’t dropped dead, and she’s all good to begin feeding Booker. As we pan out further, we see Finlay and William Regal watching on, both with completely different looks on their faces. Honestly, Finlay looks uncomfortable with it all, he’s rough, he’s rugged, he just wants to fight. On the other hand, the pompous Regal looks to be enjoying it, as he says, “I wish the royal family back home carried themselves with the same esteem as ours, my king”. Finlay rolls his eyes, but brown nosing gets Regal some points as Booker thanks him.

As the massage continues and he finishes swallowing a grape, Booker clears his throat. “My royal family, my queen, my knights in shining armour… We have accomplished everything we set out to do so far. Tonight is a night of celebration because we sent that SCOUNDREL Bobby Lashley into exile. Everything in my kingdom is available for all of you, my adoring followers”. Regal and Sharmell look grateful, nodding along with stars in their eyes, whilst again Finlay just sort of shrugs his shoulders. It’s all good vibes though, as Booker is all smiles, reliving how they took care of Lashley last week, and pointing to his US Title and laughing. Everybody is happy when the celebration is interrupted by Teddy Long entering the room. Booker remains in his good mood and offers Teddy a grape, but the GM says he wants to get business out of the way first.

“Look, playa. What you all conspired to do las’ week was a low act. I had promised sponsors, I had promised the board a steel cage main event and you ruined it. You attacked an innocent man from behind, and you made a mockery of the United States Title”. Booker tries to argue that there was a cage match last week, but Teddy shuts him down. Teddy reminds them that Finlay and Regal are in action later on tonight so they’re likely to have their hands full, but he doesn’t want Booker to think everything is gravy around here. “Booker, Bobby Lashley might be out of action tonight, but he isn’t out of action long, ya’ feel me. As the former champion, he has a rematch clause, so celebrate tonight and get well the gettin’s good, because at the Great American Bash on July 23rd, you WILL be defending that US Title against Bobby Lashley”!

With the exception of Teddy, nobody else in the room is happy with that announcement. Booker’s eyes are as wide as ever, not happy, and Teddy seems to enjoy the reaction, looking to help himself to a grape, but the king rescinds his previous. “Don’t touch the grapes, Theodore, these grapes are only fit for a king”. Teddy shrugs, still in a pleasant mood and he leaves the room, leaving Sharmell to try and calm Booker down. After being consoled, Booker says that’s it’s fine, and sends Regal and Finlay to get ready for their tag match against Rey Mysterio and Matt Hardy tonight. Once that’s over with, they need to come up with a royal plan for the Greatm American Bash.

…

Now we head to the official interview set where an intimidated and trembling Josh Matthews welcomes his guest at this time, the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, Mark Henry. As Henry puffs out his chest and stands tall, Matthews is stunned into silence, afraid of the ‘World’s Strongest Man’, but his silence seems to irritate Henry. “ASK YO’ DAMN QUESTION”, Henry demands and after flinching at Henry’s yell, Matthews recomposes and does what he’s told. Josh first starts off by bringing up the injury that Henry caused to Batista many months ago, and how Batista is returning tonight. He asks if Henry worries about the consequences of his actions. Henry shakes his head and plainly states that no, he doesn’t fear anything to do with any man.

There’s an awkward pause where Matthews expects Henry to elaborate however, he doesn’t immediately. As the awkward silence stretches out, Henry gets annoyed, “I said this last week and I’ll only say it one more time, I’m only here to talk about people currently involved in competing for the World Heavyweight Championship which means Batista is irrelevant”. Not exactly the answer that Matthews expected, so he looks to keep things moving, asking how Henry could do what he did to Chavo Guerrero. Does Henry not have compassion for the trail of victims he’s leaving behind. Once again, Henry answers as plainly as possible, “no. Chavo was a pawn to get what I deserve, and that’s another shot at the title. Chavo got karma for stickin’ his nose in my business, that’s all”.

Henry decides to end the interview portion of this segment here, taking the microphone from Matthews and ushering him out of shot. “Everybody keeps askin’ about what I’ve done to Batista or Chavo but let me make it clear. I haven’t done ANYTHING to them compared to what I’m gonna’ do when I get my hands on Rey Mysterio at Saturday Night’s Main Event.” With that, Henry continues to mean mug the camera until we cut to a commercial break.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

***

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
JULY 15TH, 2006
DALLAS, TEXAS
AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTRE

***

Match Three
Tatanka vs. The Great Khali w/Daivari

Yep, Tatanka was awful in the mid 90’s and Khali is Khali so you’re not getting a lot of detail here. Khali is amidst a bit of a push here, so he dominates the native American, and then at the request of Daivari, Khali ONCE AGAIN USES THE UNDERTAKER’S TOMBSTONE TO PUT TATANKA AWAY!!!

KHALI THEN STEALS ‘TAKER’S OLD FOLDED ARM PIN AS WELL…1…2…3!!!

Winner: The Great Khali @ 2:39​

The crowd isn’t happy as Daivari hurries into the ring to usher the ref out of the way, and Daivari raises Khali’s hands in the air. The monstrous Indian stand stall, looking every bit of unstoppable, when suddenly the lights in the arena begin to flicker…

GONG….

…

GONG…

…

THE LIGHTS IN THE ARENA GO OUT!!!

We are entrenched in darkness for a few moments, the mood in the arena flipping on it’s head… WHEN A LIGHTING BOLT COMES DOWN FROM THE SKY AND CRASHES INTO THE STAGE!!!

The titantron now comes to life with the words “THE DEAD WILL RISE”!!!

As quickly as that, the lights come back on whilst the titantron message remains. Inside of the ring though, there is no fear shown from Khali or the animated Daivari. Instead, they continue to stand tall, ready for any challenge that will come their way, whether dead or alive…

…

We now cut back to the royal locker room, where the WWE United States Champion King Booker remains on his throne, eyes closed, being fed grapes and fanned by his servants. Queen Sharmell regally excuses herself and heads to the ladies room, but Booker barely acknowledges her. Now it’s only Booker and the servants in the room, as one can only assume Regal and Finlay are preparing for their match tonight. Out of nowhere, one of the servants stops fanning and looks a little concerned, and we see why, as Bobby Lashley steps into screenshot. He puts a finger to his lips, ensuring the servants stay quiet, before he takes the grapes and signals for them both to leave.

The ladies aren’t silly as they get out of harms way, but the lack of grapes being put into his mouth seems to disturb Booker. With his eyes remaining closed, he complains, “where are my grapes? And why has my royal air stopped being filtered”? There’s silence for a second, before Lashley rips a handful of grapes off of their stems, “sorry, here you go”! Before Booker can react to the oh so familiar voice, Lashley rams multiple grapes down the gullet of the king of Smackdown.

The king begins to choke, eyes wide, but he’s also scared out of his brains at the sight of Lashley. B-LASH TIPS THE THRONE OVER, CAUSING BOOKER TO FALL TO THE FLOOR!!!

Sharmell comes out of the bathroom to squeal in fear, as Lashley has mounted Booker now, and is just hammering away with brutal right hands. The former US champ, bandage on his forehead, is getting some revenge tonight. He continues to beat the crap out of Booker… UNTIL A BUNCH OF SECURITY APPEAR FROM NOWHERE AND STOP LASHLEY!!!

Security grabs a hold of Lashley and begin tearing him away, as a furious Lashley tells the frazzled Booker that “I’ll be seein’ you real soon, champ”. Meanwhile, as Lashley gets dragged away, Sharmell gets down on her knee, looking to tend to her temporarily fallen king.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Four
Joey Mercury vs. Ken Kennedy

With Kennedy being a heel here, the returning Mercury works as a face. It takes the fans awhile to warm to him, but his high-risk offence similar to his ECW days eventually gets them on board. Mercury puts on a damn good contest, really trying his ass off, but in the end, it looks like Kennedy might get the win anyway. The arrogant Kennedy softens up Mercury and then takes him to the corner, hoisting Mercury onto his shoulders before climbing up to the middle rope. KENNEDY LOOKS READY FOR THE GREEN BAY PLUNGE WHEN…

“hey, Kennedy, over here”.

KK is distracted, as making his way down the ramp is none other than Matt Hardy. Hardy keeps directing his words to Kennedy, keeping him occupied, when Mercury begins to squirm on his shoulders… MERCURY SQUIRMS ENOUGH TO NAIL A MODIFIED TORNADO DDT FROM THE MIDDLE ROPE!!!

MERCURY HOOKS THE LEG…1..2…3!!!

KENNEDY KICKS OUT…

BUT IT’S JUST AFTER THE THREE COUNT!!!

Winner: Joey Mercury via pinfall @ 7:32​

The crowd pops hard for the result, mainly due to the surprise, as Mercury bounces to his feet and gets his hand raised in the air. With that newfound babyface fire, Joey is straight up to the ropes, where he can celebrate with the fans.

Kennedy begins using the ropes to help himself up, staring a hole through Hardy, who is making his way up the ramp slowly. Hardy turns to face Kennedy and lets out a belly laugh at the result, before casually asking “who’s laughing now”? Hardy then disappears through the curtain, leaving KK to fume in the ring, whilst Michael Cole and JBL talk about how Kennedy laughed at Hardy’s misfortunes last week, and that clearly didn’t sit well with Matt Hardy…

…

In the back, Finlay and William Regal look like they’re just about ready for action when they are approached by a furious King Booker. Their king still has grape juice smudged over his face and they look a little confused, but Booker just yells at them, telling them they left him alone to be ambushed and this is what happened. Finlay plainly tells Booker that he told them to go get ready, but Booker won’t hear it, still blaming them for allowing Lashley to “smite your king”.

Regal looks guilty, whilst Finlay reminds Booker that they have a match to be ready for coming up shortly. Booker still isn’t happy, but he eventually relents, telling them to “take care of business tonight, but next week… Next week we shall vanquish that HEATHEN known as Bobby Lashley.” Regals nods earnestly with his leaders work as Booker turns to leave, whilst Finlay shakes his head, kind of looking bewildered at everything that’s currently going on.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Five
Hardcore Holly and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Redneck Messiahs

Holly and Scotty put up a slightly better fight than last week’s opposition, but this is another match which is just here to show how awesome Noble and Kash are as a team. The veterans keep fighting though, with Holly proving to be a real thorn in the side, until Noble simple Spears him through the ropes and they tumble to the outside. As Noble keeps Holly distracted, Kash has his way with Scotty, FINISHING HIM OFF WITH THE DEAD LEVEL!!!

KASH HOOKS THE LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winners: The Redneck Messiahs @ 4:32​

The bell ringing causes the brawl on the outside to stop, as Noble rolls in to join his partner, whilst Holly slaps the canvas in frustration. Inside of the ring, Kash and Noble share a fist bump, before getting their hands raised by the referee. Once again, they’ve sent another message to the Smackdown tag team division, the new team on the block are here to stay…

…

A GIGANTIC pop emanates from the fans in attendance as the titantron comes alive to show the returning Batista walking through the backstage hallways. Dressed in a flashy suit and with shades on, Batista looks every bit as on top of the world as he did before he had to relinquish the World Title due to injury. Big Dave is greeted by members of the staff and lower carders, all shaking his hand and welcoming him back.

Batista then comes face to face with Matt Hardy who welcomes him back with a hearty hug also. It seems like Batista is more interested in seeing Hardy’s tag partner for tonight though, the World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio. Rey Rey and Batista share a laugh and a hug also, with Rey saying “Welcome back, man. It’s so good to have you back here”. Batista nods, all smiles as his eyes slowly lower to the title around Mysterio’s waist. Batista taps the gold, “I know I’ve already said it, but again, congrats on this, Rey Rey. You deserve it, but now that I’m back… Enjoy it well you can”.

It's said in a playful tone, and both are still in good moods but it’s clear Batista wants that title back. To his credit, Rey laughs it off, “oh, it’s like that huh? We’ll see, we’ll see”. Mysterio then reiterates how good it is to see Batista but excuses himself, as he’s about to go wrestle in the main event. Batista sees him off, giving him one last handshake, still smiling, but there’s a certain flicker in his eye that says he’s going to want that World Title back sooner rather than later.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Match Six
Finlay and William Regal vs. Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio

Easily match of the night as these four put on an awesome contest. Hardy and Mysterio look flashy in the early stages, with Hardy’s tag experience really shining through, however Regal and Finlay aren’t easily deterred. The two bruisers make sure to punish their opponents, with Finlay looking very impressive in particular. Standard tag formula type stuff with the faces making a hot run, AND A 619... AND DROPPIN’ THE DIME LATER… MYSTERIO HOOKS REGAL’S LEG…1…2…3!!!

Winners: Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio via pinfall @ 9:40 ​

There are some nice cheers from the fans as Finlay drags Regal out of the ring and to the back, however the celebration inside the ring is rather muted. Hardy is pretty pumped, having a good night with the win and the punking out of Kennedy earlier, however Mysterio isn’t in much of a celebrating mood. Outside of the odd little nod or hand raise, Mysterio grabs his World Title, puts it on his shoulder and gets himself a microphone. He shares a word off mic with Hardy, who seems to understand Rey’s wants, and they share a handshake before Hardy leaves the ring. Panting from the match he’s just had, Mysterio thanks everybody for the reaction and the support, but admits that his mood is soured.

Mysterio shakes his head, almost in disbelief. “If you told me my boy Batista would be returning on a night where I’m in this bad of a mood, I would have told you that you were crazy”. However, Mysterio admits that he put on a brave face when he saw Batista earlier tonight, but he’s not in a good mood and not willing to celebrate. Why? Because last week, when Mark Henry put his hands on Chavo Guerrero in that fashion, this went well and truly beyond proving who is the best. “I take all the pride in the world to stand here as the World Heavyweight Champion, and I don’t plan on losing this belt anytime soon, but that’s not even what this is about anymore… Mark Henry… When you put your hands on Chavito, mi familia… YOU CROSSED THE LINE”!!!

The crowd pops for Mysterio’s passion as he says that now this issue between he and Henry is personal, and he’s not willing to wait another week until Saturday Night’s Main Event. “In eight days, the titles on the line, that’s all well and good, but how about you bring your big ass down here right now so I can treat you the way you treated Chavito”! Having said everything he wanted to say, Mysterio drops the mic, motioning for Mark Henry to bring himself out. There are no signs of Henry though, even when the fans begin to buzz in excitement, nobody steps through the curtain. After waiting for a substantial amount of time, the fans get restless and begin to catcall, whilst Mysterio shakes his head in disappointment. Unfortunately, the World Heavyweight Champion leaves the ring, maybe even more irritated than he was before, still not able to get his hands on Mark Henry.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK- ​

With the final break of the night being done with, the LOUDEST reaction of the night is heard as the former World Heavyweight Champion, Batista steps through the curtain. A huge smile on his face, the suited up Big Dave soaks in the ovation from the fans, really milking the moment before setting off his pyro and heading towards the ring. He slaps hands with fans down the ramp, and once in the ring, he gets himself a microphone, readjusting his blazer and shades before speaking. “OH YEAH, PHILLY! Believe me, it feels good to be back”! Batista’s initial statement gets a huge pop as Batista talks about how much he has been looking forward to this night since all the way back in January. Suddenly, the smile disappears from Batista’s face though as he makes it clear that he didn’t just have this night pencilled in his calendar to have a feel-good moment.

“I had this night set in my calendar for my return because I didn’t wanna’ come out here and just talk. I’m a man of action, so I waited and as of last week, I was medically cleared to compete.” Now I came back for two reasons, one is to regain MY World Heavyweight Championship, but the second is to settle some unfinished business with Mark Henry”. Plenty of heat for the mention of the number one contender, as Batista states that he’s happy to put his desire for the World Title to the side for tonight so he can take care of Mark Henry. “So Mark Henry, I know you’re in the back and I know you’re listenin’, why don’t you come on down and get what’s coming to you”.

It's the second person of the night calling out Mark Henry, and it’s the second person to initially get no response. A frustrated Batista threatens to come to the back and look for Henry, when the man in high demand, Mark Henry himself appears on the titantron. Henry starts off by giving some sarcastic golf claps to Batista, who is fuming at Henry only appearing on the tron. Henry talks about how he understands that all through Batista’s rehab, he’s probably been working hard with the goal of coming back and fighting him. “The only issue with that pipe dream is that you’re NOT on my level anymore. I’m eight days away from becoming the World Heavyweight Champion and you’re not even in the conversation. You. Are. Irrelevant. To. Me.”

Batista shakes his head in disgust, begging Henry to bring his ass to the ring so he can show just how relevant he is. Henry again declines and offers to flesh out the scenario in which them two meeting in the ring happens. “Once I’m the champ, you need to earn yourself a title shot, and then I can put you out of action for good. Until that happens, you ain’t even on my radar, ‘Big Dave’.” The last words laced with sarcasm, Henry simple walks off before Batista can respond, and the titantron fades to black. Having pictured getting his hands on Henry during upon his return for months now, Batista refuses to yield, demanding Mark Henry grow a pair and get down to this ring.

Instead, we get a surprise appearance from Simon Dean. The fans groan as Simon Dean makes his way out from the back, riding his scooter down, with a cheesy grin on his face. Batista doesn’t look pleased with the interruption, but Dean comes in with his usual bag of goodies. He proclaims his innocence and gets himself a microphone before telling Batista how happy he is that he’s back. “It looks like all those Simon System supplements I provided really did the trick with your recovery, huh”? Batista rolls his eyes, having clearly not used any of the stuff, but Dean just shoots him a thumbs up.

Dean states that he was listening from the back, and he couldn’t just stand around and let Batista’s big return be ruined. Dean talks about how Batista has recovered from injury, but he does look a little out of shape, so Dean had a tremendous idea. “I know you wanted to get your hands on Mark Henry and that didn’t happen… But I’ve got something even BETTER. I’m willing to offer you a special return discount of 5% off all Simon System products for one night only”. Boos from the crowd as Batista feigns being impressed. Simon Dean then opens up his bag and pulls out some protein, and a weight loss shake, before even pulling out a Simon System branded weightlifting belt. It’s similar to the one that he wears, and Dean hands it over to Batista.

With a smirk, Batista tries on the weightlifting, before grabbing the top rope and shaking it like crazy to get everybody pumped up. Simon Dean applauds, happy, and he even goes as far as to raise Batista’s hand in the air. Batista is grateful, all smiles as he says, “thank you for providing this awesome gift”. Dean tells Batista that he’s welcome, and something suddenly flashes across Batista’s eyes, “I really needed the release”…

BATISTA PULLS SIMON DEAN IN FOR A CLOTHESLINE!!!

Dean’s head is almost decapitated off the Clothesline, but Batista isn’t finished, as he sends Dean into the ropes… SPINEBUSTER CONNECTS!!!

Batista yanks off the weightlifting belt… AND WHIPS DEAN ACROSS THE BACK WITH IT!!!

Batista then drags Dean back up… BATISTA BOMB CONNECTS!!!

The fans are cheering getting to see a taste of Big Dave back in action, but it’s clear he’s not satisfied. As his music hits and he owns the ring on his return, Batista looks deep into the camera and reminds Mark Henry that he is coming for him, before the show fades to black.

END OF SHOW

WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event
July 15th, 2006
Dallas, Texas
American Airlines Arena

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Rey Mysterio (c) defends against Mark Henry

Extreme Rules Match
The Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer​

 

[Deco90]

Really glad you've carried this on Stojy! Big fan of your work as you know.

Going to read all the previous shows but I'll jump in fully with feedback etc probably at your first Pay-Per-View. Just wanted to drop some comments and wish you good luck with the project <3

 

[Order]

Hi Stojy, finally got round to reading SmackDown so here goes a few thoughts on what you did. As always it was a good show and had some impressive storytelling.

-Cruiserweight title/battle royal - This was a nice two segments that worked together. Firstly, the battle royal did its job in providing a number one contender with Kendrick being a fine choice. Helms outsmarting him and opting to put the title on the line was a good tactic and I think it could also extend to a rematch or a shot for Paul London. Maybe Helms will find a partner and look to become a double champion. Lots of possibilities here.

-Khali - This was awful during this period so I hope this turns into a short feud with Undertaker and then he drops down the card as he simply could never wrestle at all. Fine for Taker to get a win and move on to bigger and better things though hopefully.

-Joey Mercury over Ken Kennedy - I know what you were trying to do here and maybe it is just my personal problem but I despise distraction finishes. I think it has gotten to be a big problem for me in the last few years although in this period it was rife and it did the job. I just wouldn't want Mercury beating Kennedy under any circumstances.

-Booker and Bobby - The best thing about your writing is always the way you portray the characters in such an accurate and believable way and everything involving King Booker was gold. From the grapes maybe being poisonous to Finlay and Regal's contrasting reactions it just all worked and it put me right in the scene. Lashley ramming the grapes down Booker's throat was a good spot and creative as well. Looking forward to their collision.

-Batista return - I felt you did this really well with multiple little segments throughout the evening leading up to the big angle at the end with Mark Henry and the sacrificial lamb, Simon Dean. Made sense to feed someone irrelevant to Batista to keep him over after a big return and to also tease that his revenge against Henry will come but maybe no immediately. Also, liked the foreshadowing with Mysterio and a possible clash over the World Heavyweight Championship.

Overall, an enjoyable show as always my man and I look forward to RAW whenever that pops up.