Firstly, a big thanks to all the comments from familiar and new faces. Nice to be made to feel welcome. Just to kind of manage expectations a little here, this won’t be written in the ‘full’ format my ECW was.
Also, I know there are calls to fix WWE 2006 which is the eventual plan, but in the past with WWE, I’ve kind of tried to turn it into the perfect product to quickly. I’d argue that up until Summerslam there will probably be continuation of crappy angles especially on the Raw brand (Imposter Kane, DX/McMahons/Spirit Squad, Haas/Viscera/Lilian). My aim is to battle through the crappy stuff and hopefully get something positive out of it at the end before moving talent on, but we’ll see. I’ve never really been able to mold my booking to fit the WWE style so hoping I can change that here.
Finally, for those who notice, I cheated and made some slight alterations to this show based on feedback I received on WC. The first edition of ECW will be the first bit of new content for this BTB.
WWE Monday Night Raw
June 26th, 2006
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Cumberland County Crown Coliseum
Being the night after a PPV, the show opens up with a recap of all of the results from last night’s Vengeance pay per view. For those of you who didn’t read the opening post, the highlights in the video package include:
Randy Orton defeating
Kurt Angle, Umaga squashing
Eugene, Ric Flair defeating
Mick Foley in a Two out of Three Falls match, although Flair was left lying in a pool of his own blood afterward,
Johnny Nitro defeated
Carlito and
Shelton Benjamin (pinning Shelton) to win the WWE Intercontinental Championship,
Rob Van Dam defeated
Edge to retain the WWE Championship,
Imposter Kane defeated
Kane, John Cena defeated
Sabu in an Extreme Lumberjack match, and finally,
DX – Triple H and Shawn Michaels successfully reunited to defeat all five members of
The Spirit Squad.
After the video package, JR and The King sell the events of the PPV, with them making it very clear that Vince McMahon won’t be happy with DX coming out on top last night. Obviously, that’s the most important thing to talk about, not the WWE Title still belonging to an ECW competitor or anything. They then go into hype mode for some of the things already announced for tonight’s card which include:
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP – ROB VAN DAM DEFENDS AGAINST JOHN CENA
A REMATCH FROM VENGEANCE BETWEEN IMPOSTER KANE AND KANE
WE WILL HEAR FROM MICK FOLEY AFTER HIS DESPICABLE ATTACK ON RIC FLAIR AFTER THEIR MATCH LAST NIGHT
DX HAVE BEEN CHALLENGED BY AND WILL FACE VINCE AND SHANE MCMAHON IN TAG TEAM ACTION TONIGHT
TRISH STRATUS WILL GIVE A STATUS UPDATE ON THE INJURY TO BETH PHOENIX
AFTER LAST NIGHT’S CONFRONTATION, KAMALA WILL GO ONE ON ONE WITH UMAGA
TO OPEN THE SHOW, NEW WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION JOHNNY NITRO WILL DEFEND AGAINST FORMER CHAMPION SHELTON BENJAMIN
And with that, it’s time for our first match of the evening.
Match One
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Johnny Nitro (c) w/Melina defends against Shelton Benjamin
A bit of an awkward one to kick off the show, as rather than the fans be super into it and set the scene for the night, they initially don’t know who to cheer for. This is a battle between two unlikeable heels, with the wolf whistling for the short skirt wearing Melina being the biggest positive reaction. Luckily, these two are athletic as all hell and can jump around and pull out a bunch of high risk, exciting moves to get the fans on side. The two work super hard to get the crowd on board and succeed. It’s a super competitive match, with no real domination, it's a back-and-forth sprint from start to finish. In the end, without any help from Melina, Nitro is able to soften up Benji enough to nail him with a Superkick, and he follows it up with his STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO GET THE THREE COUNT!!!
Winner: Johnny Nitro via pinfall @ 07:02
Now that the match is over the fans go back to not really digging Nitro, but he clearly doesn’t care. He latches onto his IC Title and latches onto Melina, who rubs her hands all over his chest because he’s a lucky man. With Shelton rolling to the outside, the two continue to celebrate, until
“I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL”!!! The Hollywood loving duo are interrupted by the third man from last night’s Triple Threat Match,
Carlito. Finally, the crowd has somebody to cheer for as ‘Lito enjoys the ovation, tossing his apple in the air a few times, before signalling for his music to be cut. The man from the Caribbean sarcastically applauds them on their victory, before saying
“ju beat Shelton Benjamin and ju look like you’re really proud of yourself, Johnny. But here’s the question on everybody’s mind… So, what”?
Carlito says that Shelton Benjamin isn’t cool and beating Shelton Benjamin isn’t anywhere near as difficult or as impressive as beating Carlito. The champion and Melina both roll their eyes, but Carlito isn’t finished.
“What I’m trying to say is ju beat Shelton last night, and ju beat him again tonight. Ju DIDN’T and WON’T beat me”. Carlito dares Nitro to try though, officially challenging Nitro to a WWE Intercontinental Championship match, even saying Nitro can name the time and place. Thankfully, Melina is around to respond, and she looks less than impressed.
“How dare you speak to Johnny, and I like that? How dare you even interrupt our celebration to begin with”? According to Melina, Carlito doesn’t belong in the same ring as Johnny, and it was proven last night when Nitro beat Carlito and Shelton in what was basically two on one against Nitro.
The fans don’t agree with that sentiment and nor does Carlito, but Melina presses on. She tells Carlito that if he wants a title shot, he’s going to have to earn it. Until then, Carlito can go back to being a nobody whilst they go and have a proper celebration with all of their Hollywood buddies. Instead of leaving, Carlito rolls his eyes before saying that he gets it now.
“I actually think I understand why ju don’t like Carlito now. It’s because we’re polar opposites, for example, when it comes to my apple, I spit, whereas everybody in the back knows ju prefer to swallow”!!!
Melina freaks out and Nitro tries to block her ears as she throws a tantrum. Utterly disgusted, Nitro yells some off mic threats at Carlito, and Carlito tells Nitro,
“I’m glad ju feel that way, pretty boy. I might just come and earn that title shot right now”! With that, Carlito drops his mic and apple and sprints down the ramp. ‘Lito slides into the ring and Melina gets right out, however Nitro tries to get the jump with a right hand. Instead, Carlito blocks it and lands some lefts of his own, backing Nitro against the ropes, and then Clotheslining him to the outside.
Carlito begs Nitro and Melina to return to the ring, but they decide to fight another day, fleeing to the back, Nitro clinging on to his IC Title for dear life.
-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
Returning from the break,
Johnny Nitro and
Melina are furious with what just occurred, as Nitro already has some ice pack on his face, and Melina is complaining about chipping a nail. Melina asks Nitro to remove the ice pack for a moment, and they take a look and stress about how Nitro’s face is probably going to bruise. Melina even complains about chipping a nail, before her face changes from one of sadness, to one of anger.
“I’ll tell you one thing, Johnny, NOBODY does that to us, especially not some cast away island freak like Carlito. He said he wants to earn a shot at our Intercontinental Championship?" Nitro nods along with Melina, agreeing with her, as she continues,
“well let’s see just how far he’s willing to go here. You stay here and ice that face, we’ve got a photo shoot tomorrow. I’m going to speak to Mr. McMahon, Carlito WILL pay”. With that, Melina storms out of the locker room to presumably find Vince McMahon, as Nitro does what he’s told and remains seated with his ice pack.
…
Back inside the arena, a video package plays focusing on Triple H and Shawn Michaels reuniting as D Generation X. We see clips from their reunion as well as some of the shenanigans they’ve performed since being together, mainly focusing on their destruction of The Spirit Squad at Vengeance, Vince McMahon loving cocks and lying about Stephanie McMahon being pregnant.
…
We remain in the arena after the video package as
Umaga makes his entrance, closely lead out by his handler,
Armando Alejandro Estrada. Umaga is an absolutely monster and looks like he’s ready to murder somebody, however that doesn’t happen as Estrada grabs a microphone.
“Todos escuchame, everybody listen... haha…. To me”. AAE goes on to introduce himself in his custom manner, before recapping the onslaught that Umaga unleashed on Eugene and his buddies last night. AAE talks about how they backed away from Kamala last night and some people say that’s because of fear but those people are
“BIG DUMMIES”! Estrada decides when Umaga destroys and who he destroys and
“como se dice, how do you say, tonight is Kamala’s LUCKY night”! Estrada then tosses the mic to the side and steps to the outside, as
Kamala makes his way out, accompanied by
Doink The Clown, Eugene and
Jim Duggan.
Match Two
Kamala w/Doink The Clown, Eugene and Jim Duggan vs. Umaga w/Armando Alejandro Estrada
Kamala slaps and rubs his belly a few times, before charging towards the centre of the ring, clashing and breaking even with Umaga. But then he no longer breaks even and Umaga takes over. This match falls into the same category as every other match Umaga has had so far, complete and utter domination. The highlight probably occurs on the outside as Estrada tries to light his cigar, but his lighter isn’t working. Shockingly, Doink provides one… BUT WHEN ESTRADA PRESSES DOWN ON DOINK’S LIGHTER… WATER SQUIRS INTO HIS FACE!!!
Estrada is furious as he immediately throws the lighter away and SNAPS HIS CIGAR!!! Knowing that’s the sign to finish things, ‘Mags stops toying with his food… DRILLING KAMALA WITH THE SAMOAN SPIKE FOR THE EASY 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Umaga via pinfall @ 04:00
Much to the enjoyment of Estrada on the outside, Umaga isn’t finished after the bell rings. Instead, The Samoan Bulldozer drags Kamala back to his feet…
SECOND SAMOAN SPIKE CONNECTS!!!
Doink The Clown comes in to intervene…
DROPPED WITH A KICK TO THE FACE!!!
Now it’s Eugene’s turn,
SAMOAN DROP CONNECTS!!!
Duggan charges at ‘Mags, but Umaga sidesteps him and pushes him into the corner…
BODY SPLASH CONNECTS!!!
The squashed Duggan collapses into a seated position in the corner,
SAMOAN WRECKING BALL ALMOST MURDERS DUGGAN!!!
Umaga stands tall, letting out a primal roar, having taken out everybody around him. His handler, Estrada is in the ring now, still unhappy with being embarrassed earlier with the water pistol. He tells Umaga to
“finish off these pero’s”. The wild man does as he’s told, dragging all four of the downed men to the centre of the ring, and stacking them on top of each other.
Umaga then heads to the apron before ascending to the top rope himself. With no hesitation…
UMAGA HITS THE WILD MONKEY SPLASH… SQUASHING ALL FOUR MEN AT THE SAME TIME!!!
Now the worked up Umaga is done, as Estrada looks much happier and begins to usher his unstoppable beast towards the outside.
-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
***
SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT
JULY 15TH, 2006
DALLAS, TEXAS
AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTRE
***
It’s in ring promo time as now we get the vivacious
Trish Stratus out to the ring, and well, it’s safe to say she is looking fabulous. She has a smile on her face, enjoying the ovation, even though it’s clear she’s still a little while away from her action, due to her shoulder still being in a sling. Getting a microphone, Trish earnestly thanks the fans for the ovation, noting that as she gets on in her career, she appreciates moments like these more. She talks about how being injured and no longer being the Womens Champion which is something she’s so accustomed to, it means she’s faced with her own wrestling mortality, and that’s a scary thought.
This statement kind of brings a stunned lull throughout the arena, but Trish reassures everybody not to panic.
“Don’t worry, guys, I’m just letting you all in on exactly what goes on inside this head of mine, but believe me, I’m FAR from done. Unfortunately, though, it seems injuries are a common occurrence to Mickie James’ rivals at the moment” …
A pretty good reaction for Mickie, because even though she’s a heel, the fans still like her. Speaking of injuries, Trish says she tasked with the terrible time of giving an update to her recent close friend, Beth Phoenix. With Trish’s injury, she was relying on Beth to teach Mickie a lesson but now Beth is out of action as well.
“I’m not entirely sure how long Beth will be out for, but I can confirm that she’s got a broken jaw. One thing I CAN confirm is that Beth and Mickie have a history, what that is, I’ll let them reveal… However, I can confirm that Beth is more determined than ever to get back here and get a piece of Mickie”.
Stratus then goes on to say and who knows, if Beth’s injured for long enough, maybe Trish will have to take her place at the head of the line. Before the greatest women’s wrestler to this point of time can go even further,
the WWE Womens Champion Mickie James skips down the ramp, hopping into the ring without a second guess. The mood in the arena picks up, as there’s major tension between these two, when suddenly the edgy Mickie tilts her head back and laughs out loud.
Trish looks genuinely confused as Mickie tells Trish that she enjoyed her speech.
“That was really good, Trish. I have to give you credit, you’re no longer the best wrestler around here, but you can definitely talk the talk. The problem for you is none of the talking matters, I walk the walk BETTER than anybody else in this company”. Stratus screws up her face in annoyance as Mickie talks about how she’s beaten Trish multiple times now, and she separated Trish’s shoulder fair and square. No foul play, no cheating, Mickie was just the better woman.
Whilst Mickie admits her history with Beth, which she refuses to touch on, makes things a little more interesting, but it does nothing in the long term.
“Trish, at least you made it into the ring for official matches with me. Beth didn’t even make it that far, and if she comes back, I’ll make sure her jaws wired shut permanently”. The glint in Mickie’s eye as she talks about the violent action shows just how psychotic she is. Speaking of injures, Mickie tells Trish that she needs to be careful, because her shoulders separated, but one wrong comment from her, and Mickie will RIP her damn arm off.
“No brunette wig will save you, no getting up close and personal, no touching, no kissing, no mind games, NOTHING will save you from me. At one stage, I LOVED you, Trish, but now I’ve surpassed you in every single way. I don’t care for you in the slightest anymore, I LOVE ME”!
This gets a pop because the fans are weird as Mickie puts a finger in Trish’s cleavage for old times sake. She then takes the finger and licks it which gets a HUGE pop from the fans. That’s not overly crucial to the story though, I’m just a perv. Mickie begins skipping in circles around Trish, laughing at her, threatening to slap the injured, and then occasionally flicking Trish’s hair into her own face.
Mickie knows Trish is defenceless, so she turns to face the fans and raises the title in the air. Mickie climbs to the second rope, her epically short skirt showing some thong to. Anyway, once she gets down…
BOOM!!!
TRISH NAILS MICKIE IN THE HEAD WITH A LEAD PIPE!!!
The audience is in shock, letting out a mixed reaction, because as the cameras were off her, Trish pulled a lead pipe out of her arm sling. Mickie is out of it, a slight bit of
blood trickling from her forehead, as a bunch of referees run down to keep Trish away from her. Trish strands her ground, but doesn’t make a move towards Mickie, as she tells her
“one way or another you’re gonna’ get yours, Mickie. I promise”. With that, Trish is happy to leave, content with the statement she’s made tonight, whilst the referees tend to the basically unconscious Womens Champ.
-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
Shawn Michaels and
Triple H, collectively known as
D Generation X are out to a tremendous ovation, and they are ready to do battle. Dressed to wrestle, they go through their ‘Let’s get ready’, ‘two words for ya’ catchphrase routines, before waiting for their opponents.
Shane McMahon and
Vince McMahon are out next, with Shane shuffling around on stage, wearing a custom-made top that reads
“DX SUX”. His father on the other hand, is oiled up like you wouldn’t believe, proud to show off his impressive physique. As they make their way down the ramp, DX are eager for them to get into the ring, but Vince grabs himself a mic. McMahon sincerely apologises for the mix up, telling them their must have been a paperwork error or something. DX smell something fishy as Vince confirms
“it still will be DX versus The McMahons tonight… BUT… It will be DX versus The McMahons… AND THE SPIRIT SQUAD IN A HANDICAP MATCH”! The Game and HBK can’t help but roll their eyes, as Vince sarcastically wishes them luck.
The Spirit Squad bounce through the curtain, will all members apparently ready to compete, and now The McMahon’s are ready to enter the ring.
Match Three
Handicap Match
D Generation X vs. The McMahons and The Spirit Squad
Well, this is seven on two which probably explains a lot. Michaels and Triple H are never going to get squashed, so they put up a hell of a fight, especially getting the better of their opponents in the early stages. Together, the duo clears the ring of The Spirit Squad, and as expected, The McMahon’s are hesitant to get involved right away, instead holding out on the outside of the ring. DX don’t have time to play these games and immediately head to the outside, giving chase to Vince and Shane, but they just get confronted by the same Spirit Squad they just took care of.
They all scrap like cats and dogs on the outside, a pure brawl as the referee gives some leniency/doesn’t want to get fired by the threatening Vince McMahon. The numbers game gets on top of DX as they fall to their knees, continue to be pummelled. Much to the dismay of the fans, Vince and Shane, who were previously just barking instructions, now feel confident enough to get involved and land in some shots on their enemies. Upon further instruction from Vince, the quintet of cheerleaders grab a hold of Triple H… THE SPIRIT SQUAD SEND TRIPLE H BACK FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE!!!
SHAWN MICHAELS THEN GETS THE EXACT SAME TREATMENT!!!
The Spirit Squad go back to Triple H now and throw him over the barricade and into the audience. Instead of following him in though, they follow the boss’s advice and remain at ringside to focus on HBK. Vince and Shane start removing the monitors from the announce table and point to Michaels and then the table. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s happening here, as The SS all grab Shawn… AND THEY DRIVE HIM THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE HIGH SPIRITS!!!
A HOLY SHIT chant starts up from the fans, as JR goes berserk on commentary, selling how that’s an awful thing for somebody with a bad back to take. All of the heels seem pretty content, and this completely changes the complexion of the match. Eventually, they get Triple H back into the ring and it’s a 7 on 1. It’s a beat down as it settles into the tag team Handicap match that it’s supposed to, with The Spirit Squad in control, and The McMahon’s coming in for their odd moments in the sunshine.
Triple H fights back though, as Shane prances around a little too much, and ends up jumping right into a Clothesline. Not even waiting for a tag, The Spirit Squad immediately enter the fray, but Hunter’s got his second wind now and goes to work. He manages to throw Kenny to the outside, before taking care of the rest of the group, including a right hand to Vince. Knowing he’s still got quite the battle, a furious Triple H casts an eye towards his partner, who is being stretchered out by medics finally.
A furious Triple H snarls, before heading outside of the ring and looking underneath. The fans begin to buzz, knowing he’s looking for his trusty sledgehammer… WHEN KENNY DROPKICKS THE RING STEPS RIGHT INTO THE TEMPLE OF TRIPLE H!!!
A HUGE move which damn near knocks Triple H unconscious. Kenny immediately rolls him into the ring, where The Spirit Squad stretch him out on the canvas. This allows Shane McMahon to head to the top rope… FLYING ELBOW DROP FROM SHANE!!!
Again, no cover, and the referees pleas for there to only be the legal man inside falls on deaf ears. Instead, Vince demands that the rest of his teammates “GET ‘IM UP”, and when they do, Vince kicks Trips in the gut… MCMAHON NAILS THE UGLIEST PEDIGREE OF ALL TIME!!!
Talk about adding insult to injury. The heat is enormous, JR is having a fit, and everybody in the ring is all smiles, AS VINCE MAKES THE COVER ON TRIPLE H…1…2…3!!!
Winners: The McMahons and The Spirit Squad @ 08:04
After the match, there’s an over-the-top celebration from The McMahon’s and The Spirit Squad as they’ve made up for the Vengeance debacle. All seven of them are pumped up, despite getting heat from the fans, as the medics who were earlier checking on Shawn, are now back out to make sure Triple H is okay.
…
Once all the men involved in the previous match are taken care of, we get another video package. This one focuses on the arrival of Imposter Kane and all of the domination they’ve had over the original Kane. It starts last month with Kane’s mask randomly appearing on the titantron, with a voice attached to it, sending a message to The Big Red Machine. One week later, the Imposter Kane actually appeared for the first time, nailing Kane with a Chokeslam and setting off Kane’s usual pyro. In the coming weeks, Kane gets attacked in the backstage area and he gets thrown off the stage, as this new monster continues to take it to Kane. In an interview with JR, Kane talks about how this Kane is more deranged than him. At Vengeance, the two would finally do battle and Imposter Kane would actually win. This one is far from over though, as the two will do battle again tonight!!!
-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
The titantron comes alive after the break to reveal a smiling
Mick Foley, donned in his usual red and black flannelette. Foley seems to be in great spirits despite the fact that he lost last night, but it probably has something to do with the fact that he battered and bloodied Ric Flair after the match. Speaking of Flair, we are in ‘Flair Country’, so it’s safe to the say the reaction from the fans at the appearance of Foley isn’t exactly pleasant. Foley kicks off by shooting a thumbs up at the camera and mentioning how good it’s to be right here in Fayetteville, North Carolina. That gets a good reaction from the fans because everybody is a sucker for a cheap pop, before Foley says
“And it feels DAMN good to be in the middle of Flair Country… With no Ric Flair to be seen”.
No more cheers for Foley now, the fans here are purely against him, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He admits that he expected that sort of reaction, and whilst he’s spent a majority of the latter years of his career being adored by people, there was a time where he wasn’t so well liked. Foley’s okay with the fans reactions because he’s doing what is right. Everybody has been blowing up Foley’s phone, asking why he did what he did, so he’s here to make that perfectly clear tonight.
“I DESTROYED Ric Flair last night and I did it because I was protecting myself, my career and my legacy. I’m proud of my actions. Ric Flair has tried to BELITTLE A CAREER THAT I’VE SHED BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS to achieve on more than one occasion. Back in my WCW, I scratched and clawed to try and make it to that upper echelon, trying to break that glass ceiling, putting my body on the line night in and night out to entertain the fans… ONLY FOR… ‘THE MAN’… IN CHARGE TO NOT BE A FAN OF MY WORK!!!”
Ric Flair has never liked Foley, and after Foley slept in his car, drove all those miles every weekend to become a professional wrestler, he won’t stand for somebody like Flair to talk down on him.
“A glorified stuntman?” That’s what Flair called Mick Foley. All the bumps, all the bruises, all the epic matches and epic moments that Mick has had, and Flair tried to piss on every single one of them.
“Well, I’m sorry that I didn’t just come out here with a fancy robe, and prance around with the EXACT same routine for the last twenty-five years”.
The fans are not liking this at all as Foley says that he’s okay with the fans vilifying him for leaving Flair a bloody mess last night, because old man Flair got what he deserved.
“What I did was I took the words Ric Flair used when he tried to PISS on my career… AND I SHOVED THEM DOWN HIS THROAT!!! I showed Ric Flair what a glorified stuntman can do, and Ric doesn’t want anymore, that’s why he’s not here tonight.” Foley actually calls Flair intelligent for not being here tonight, because maybe it’s time Flair finally ride’s off into the sunset with the other Horsemen and has a nice day. That’s exactly what Mick is going to do. Foley claims that he’s proven his point and that’s all he wanted to do, and now he’s going to go and enjoy the rest of his life with his family. He then thanks the fans despite the constant heat he’s getting, before walking off camera.
…
We’re now at the interview set where Todd Grisham welcomes his guest, a man who currently holds both the WWE and ECW Championships,
Rob Van Dam. The champ isn’t alone though, with him from the land of extreme are two other ECW originals,
The Sandman and
Tommy Dreamer. The Sandman having an open beer can and a Singapore Cane seems to throw Grisham off, as he asks Van Dam why they are with him. Van Dam smirks and says that he thought that would be pretty obvious.
“I’ve got no beef with John Cena, and I'm pretty sure he's the type of guy who'd just like to settle this one on one. If he didn’t already have it, he EARNED all of ECW’s respect at Vengeance last night, but not everybody on Raw has the same values as Cena”. RVD claims that not everybody lives by hustle, loyalty and respect, and not everybody on the Raw roster is happy that an ECW guy holds the WWE Championship. Dreamer and Sandman are his back up tonight to make sure nobody tries any funny business before the main event.
Grisham presses on with questions regarding the main event. He mentions that Van Dam did in fact defeat Cena for the WWE Championship, but he did so at ECW One Night Stand. That wasn’t exactly a neutral setting and now that they are on Raw, and Cena has the home ground advantage, what’s RVD’s strategy. Van Dam scoffs in usual cool way,
“Come on, Todd. You must have forgotten, but dude, I’ve been Mr. Monday Night for years now. Sure, I’m ECW through and through, but I know how to get the job done on Raw, Smackdown, or any other show for that matter.” RVD says his strategy is the same as always, go out there, be ‘The Whole Damn Show’, so at the end of the night, Lilian Garcia can announce,
“your winner and STILL WWE Champion, STILL ECW Champion… ROB…VAN…DAM”!!! With that, the ECW crew leave the area as Grisham sends us back to ringside.
Match Four
Imposter Kane vs. Kane
This one tells a similar story to the match at Vengeance. The original Kane is the fan favourite and seems to try hard, but he seems a bit off his game when staring into his past. Imposter Kane gets put over as a real monster, showing incredible strength to manhandle Kane and throw him around like few other have before. This is both inside and outside of the ring. Eventually, they end up back into a stare down in the middle of the ring when IMPOSTER KANE GOOZLES KANE!!!
It looks like Kane could be going for a ride, BUT KANE GOOZLES THE IMPOSTER RIGHT BACK!!!
The two both squeeze each other’s throat, neither willing to flinch and wilt from this battle, until an oh so familiar yet not heard for a long time, “OH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES” can be heard throughout the arena. This seemingly causes no reaction for Imposter Kane, but Kane’s eyes divert to the stage just for a moment, and that’s all it takes. The imposter shoves Kane’s hand off his throat…
AND KANE GETS DRILLED WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!
IMPOSTER KANE DOES THE OLD SCHOOL KANE PRESS…1…2…3!!!
Winner: Imposter Kane @ 05:40
Without a second look at the fallen Kane, Imposter Kane sets off the pyro so that an eerie red light remains throughout the arena. Imposter Kane steps over the top rope and to the outside, before stopping at the stage, where he is indeed greeted by none other than
Paul Bearer. Inside of the ring, Kane has started to recover and looks genuinely confused, as Bearer hugs the imposter on the stage, congratulating him on a job well done. Kane doesn’t need to be confused for much longer though, as Bearer has himself a microphone.
“Hello, my son. You look a little shocked so let me enlighten you as to why we are here. We are here because after ten years in this company, you’re NOT a monster anymore”.
Bearer says Kane isn’t feared anymore, he just another member of the locker room. Guys in the back are probably just as likely to play a game of cards with Kane as they are be scared of him.
“It’s embarrassing, Kane. After all those times when I claimed KANE IIIISSSSSS ALIVE, well in your current state, I WISH YOU WERE DEAD, SON!!!” That one distresses Kane a bit, but Bearer goes on to say that he takes some of the blame for what Kane has come, and that’s why he’s here, to fix Kane. Paul Bearer’s Kane, the new and improved Kane isn’t here to cause problems for the original Kane, he’s here to remind him of what he’s capable of.
“So, strap on in Kane, Daddy’s gonna’ take you on hell of a ride”! Imposter Kane’s music hits again and Bearer laughs, standing tall with his new operator, whilst Kane still seems to have no idea what to do whilst standing in the ring.
-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
Returning from the break, Good Ole’ JR and The King recap the show so far, before hyping an interview with the challenger in tonight’s WWE Championship match, John Cena. That’s likely to go down in a matter of moments, but before that, JR and The King give a bit of a recap of how this match came about. This includes John Cena’s epic WWE Championship run throughout 2005-2006, Cena having to fight like a rabid dog to get the title back from Edge, only for RVD to win the gold at ECW One Night Stand. JR talks about how all the marbles are on the line tonight, but before he can go any further, unannounced and to no theme music, a sombre looking
Charlie Haas steps out from the back.
There’s a minimal response for Haas, as he walks around the ring, instead approaching
Lilian Garcia, who sits on her chair, looking a little uncomfortable. Haas once again apologises for his actions when he accidentally, and the key word there is accidentally knocked her off the apron all those weeks ago.
“I don’t mean to come out here and sound like a broken record, Lilian, but I’ve tried to apologise, and I keep getting interrupted. I haven’t had the chance to finish what I want to say, and I haven’t had a chance to hear whether you accept my apology”.
Lilian shakes her head, telling Haas that mistakes made and it’s not necessary, but Haas makes it clear this is necessary. He tells her that his mother raised him right, and he would never ever put his hands on a lady.
“Lilian, I truly am sorry, and I hope that you can forgive me, and I hope that you’re all healed up from your injuries”.
Garcia seems to appreciate the effort from Haas, but before she can respond, her eyes are drawn to the stage where a furious
Viscera is stomping down the ramp. The ring announcer points towards Viscera, looking a little freaked out, and Haas notices and mouths
“OH SHIT”! Haas leaps over the crowd barricade and vails whilst a furious Viscera checks on Lilian. She doesn’t look to impressed, telling Viscera
“it’s not your job to protect me anymore. You chose the Ho’s and that was the end of it. You need to mind your own business”.
The World’s Largest Love Machine chuckles at the direction of Garcia, before grabbing her hand and kissing it. Garcia yanks her hand away in anger; however, Viscera keeps trying to apply is charm as he tells Lilian,
“baby, we’re just getting started”. Lilian still doesn’t look very receptive to Viscera’s advances, as he chuckles and slowly backs away, keeping his watchful eyes on her the entire time.
…
We now get a vignette like we’ve seen over the past few weeks, hyping the arrival of Robbie McAllister and Rory McAllister, The Highlanders. They are coming to Raw… And they are coming to Raw…
NEXT WEEK!!!
…
Todd Grisham is back at the interview set, this time ready to interview the second half of tonight’s main event,
John Cena. As soon as the former WWE Champion steps into shot, the fans go wild. There’s no smirking or playfulness from Cena tonight, he means business. Grisham picks up on that and asks Cena what tonight means to him.
“It means everything, Todd. That WWE Title means everything to me. I worked my ASS off over the last four years in the WWE, and it was all for that title. It was stolen from me once before, and a few weeks later, I got it back. This whole ECW thing has had me a little bit distracted, but tonight it’s about time I get MY title back again”.
Cena admits that he properly sounds a little overconfident, and he doesn’t want to disrespect RVD, who is very capable. However, Cena claims that nobody puts in the work that he does, hustle, loyalty, respect, they aren’t slogans to sell t-shirts, they are what Cena lives by. Those values are why he will be the WWE Champion again.
“Just like Van Dam said earlier, his body of work means that he has earned my respect. I’d like to think our mutual respect means his ECW pals will stay out of our business. Tonight, everything goes back to the way it was, the way it should be, that spinner on my shoulder, and me standing here saying… THE CHAMP IS HERE”!
A fired-up Cena leaves, ready for battle after the break, as Grisham signs us off to commercials.
-COMMERCIAL BREAK-
Match Five
WWE Championship Match
Rob Van Dam (c) defends against John Cena
RVD does make his entrance with his ECW buddies alongside him, but once he gets face to face with Cena, respect takes over. The two share a tense, well at least from Cena’s perspective as Van Dam is relaxed as ever handshake, and then RVD sends his ECW cohorts to the back. They shrug and leave, happy to do what the dual champ (refuse to use term champ/champ in 2006 BTB) has requested. A lot of sceptics believe that Van Dam is only champion because of ECW One Night Stand, where the environment, Paul Heyman counting the fall were the reasons RVD is the champ. The laid back proves that’s not the case here though, as he’s obviously super motivated to prove that he is the man for a reason. Cena can’t just bulldoze through RVD with brute strength and explosiveness like he does with so many others, because RVD’s speed and unorthodox kicking game keep catching Cena off guard.
The one thing that is the same in here as in all of Cena’s other matches is his resilience. Despite the domination from the WWE Champion, he’s unable to put the determined Cena down for the count of three. Eventually, he’s able to even things up as well, as he crotches Van Dam on the top rope… ONLY TO BRING HIM DOWN WITH A SUPERPLEX!!!
Both men are down for awhile after the high impact move, and when they do battle back up, they end up in a fist fight in the centre of the ring. As expected, Cena wins this exchange and that’s the start of his comeback, as he goes into multiple Shoulder Block, duck Clothesline, Blue Thunder Bomb, Five Knuckle Shuffle mode. Van Dam’s able to get a shoulder up from the cover, but Cena begins pumping up his shoes, signalling that it’s time for the FU.
Suddenly, there’s come commotion throughout the audience, and we soon see why as LITA HAS RUN DOWN THE RAMP AND LEPT ONTO THE RING APRON!!!
With the referee dealing with Lita, he doesn’t see that EDGE HAS SNUCK INTO THE RING… EDGE SPEARS CENA!!!
The Rated R Superstar immediately slides out of the ring, joining Lita at ringside now. The referee turns around to see both competitors down, with Van Dam slowly working to his feet. Once up, RVD is confused by Cena being down, but sees Edge on the outside and puts two and two together. RVD shakes his head, unhappy with what’s happened, but Edge yells at him to stop being an idiot and take the win. Van Dam shrugs nonchalantly, before leaping to the top rope, ready for the Five Star Frog Splash... BUT INSTEAD VAN DAM LEAPS TO THE OUTSIDE AND TAKES OUT EDGE WITH A CROSSBODY!!!
Lita just managed to avoid contact, and she’s flipping out at RVD, who gingerly ignores her and rolls back into the ring. Van Dam struggles to his feet, as does Cena, and we are right back where we started. Both men are in the centre of the ring, and they begin trading right hands. These two want to be called WWE Champion more than anything, neither willing to blink at this moment… BOOM!!!
BOTH MEN ARE SO CLOSE TOGETHER THAT EDGE TAKES THEM BOTH OUT WITH THE ONE CHAIR SHOT!!!
The heat is enormous as both men are down, and Edge stands proudly over them. Having seen this with his own eyes, the referee has no choice but to put an end to this one.
No Contest @ 13:49
Admittedly, a pretty unsatisfying ending to the show here as Edge has caused a No Contest. Cena and RVD both aren’t moving, dazed from the chair shots, but also exhausted from their terrific match. Sensing an opportunity, Edge barks a demand at Lita to get another steel chair, and she does as she’s told. Lita brings the chair in the ring, and after eyeing off both men, Edge begins setting up Cena for the One Man Conchairto.
Instead of delivering the career altering blow, Edge calls for another chair, which Lita dutifully slides into the ring. Edge places this one under the head of Van Dam, setting him up for a Conchairto also.
Edge stands over both men and yells,
“NOBODY IS TAKING THAT TITLE FROM VAN DAM EXCEPT FOR ME”!!! The Rated R Superstar lifts the chair above his head, ready for the conchairto but who is getting hit first? The tension builds...
WHEN THE SANDMAN AND TOMMY DREAMER SLIDE INTO THE RING!!!
Edge and Lita immediately flee, getting out of harms way before they can get touched. The ECW guys check on Van Dam, clearly not here to save Cena, but knowing if Edge took out Cena, RVD was most likely next. Cena’s all on his lonesome, remaining on the canvas, whilst the ECW crew slowly try and help Van Dam to his feet.
Meanwhile, a mostly happy Edge backs up the ramp, tongue out, laughing, knowing he got one up on the WWE Champion and one of the main contenders tonight.
…
You’d think that would be the end of the show but come on. We can’t end the show with anything other than the most important angle on television, right? With that being said, we head to the parking lot where
Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and
The Coach are walking towards their limo.
As they get closer, a loud noise can be heard, and they all look a little confused. Suddenly, they turn a corner, and they all stop, eyes wide in shock, with Vince in particular looking furious. The camera then pans out to reveal that DX have vandalised The McMahon’s limo. On commentary, JR mentions that they must have gotten to the limo before their match earlier, as the camera man works hard to give us a better view of DX’s handiwork. In green spray paint, the words
DX, SUCK IT and
MCMAHON LOVES COCKS!!!
To make matters worse, we now know what the noise was as well. One of the windows of the limo is down and Vince McMahon’s version of ‘Stand Back’ is playing at the highest possible volume. Infuriated and embarrassed, Vince immediately sends The Coach to go get a rag or something so that he can clean the limo. Of course, The Coach hurries off like an obedient dog, meanwhile Vince tells Shane,
“they’re gonna’ pay next week…. THAT DAMN DX”!!!
The show fades to black with one last look at the obliterated limo, followed by a furious and gobsmacked Vince and Shane McMahon. Will they be able to gain revenge next week?
END OF SHOW
***
WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event
July 15th, 2006
Dallas, Texas
American Airlines Arena
NO MATCHES CURRENTLY ANNOUNCED
