Birth Name: (formerly )Jonathan Snow, Zachary Kazadi | (currently) Michelle von Horrowitz.
Ring Name: weaselperson (for the record, any pronouns work)
Born: September 5th, 1995 // Montreal, Quebec, Canada (as Jonathan Snow) | May 30th, 1992 // Quebec City, Quebec, Canada (as Zachary Kazadi) | January 1st, 1990 // Rotterdam, the Netherlands (as Michelle von Horrowitz)
Height: 6ft (as Jonathan Snow) | 6ft (as Zachary Kazadi) | 5ft7in (as Michelle von Horrowitz)
Weight: 180lbs (as Jonathan Snow) | 210 lbs (as Zachary Kazadi) | 119 lbs (as Michelle von Horrowitz)
Billed From: The Meadows
Alignment: Tweener w/ heelish tendencies.
Gimmick: Alleged anthropomorphic weasel and revenge demon.
Non-FWA accomplishments: Several Guinness world records for body hair (as Jonathan Snow), various CWA accomplishments (as Michelle von Horrowitz)
FWA accomplishments: N/A (as weaselperson)
FWA Record: 3-4-0 (as weaselperson)
v. Logan Darwin at Fallout 027 (Victory) [JS]
v. Trixie Bordeaux at King of the Deathmatch (Defeat) [JS]
v. 29 others at Carnal Contendership (Defeat) [ZK]
v. Cyrus Truth at Meltdown XXVIII (Victory) [ZK]
v. Danny Toner at Fallout 029 (Defeat) [ZK]
v. Chris Peacock at Fallout 031 (Victory) [ZK]
v. Alyster Black at Back in Business XVII (Defeat) [ZK]
Style of Wrestling: Technical Brawler.
In the ring, wp utilises a large number of strikes, usually in combination. Mule kicks, stomps, forearms, chops (knife-edge, Mongolian, overhand), and European uppercuts are employed, but very rarely straight hands of any variety. Against lighter opponents, wp likes to use a vast array of suplexes, but this part of her arsenal will be taken away from her against any combatants weighing much more than 80kg (176lbs). Against larger foes, wp will seek to use their weight and momentum against them, with strikes becoming a much larger part of her focus, along with the use of her environment. wp likes to use the turnbuckles and the ring ropes, and will freely take things to the outside to use whatever she can find around the ring as a weapon. Steel ring steps and posts, barricades, the ring apron, and announce tables are brought into the fray frequently and without remorse. wp tends to get a little more leniency from the officials in this regard due to the well-known FWA bias towards her. Against opponents who far out-weigh her, wp will focus her attention on the knees and legs, grounding them for large portions of the match before honing in on the head or neck towards the finish.
wp will stretch any rule she can at any point regardless of what alignment she's currently assigned by the audience. Rope breaks will rarely be adhered to until the four-count, and her matches will often be punctuated by lengthy periods on the outside. Ref bumps are common in her matches and routinely followed up by uses of weapons (steel chairs, the ring bell, or a championship belt if one is at ringside, hers or otherwise - if both her and her opponent have a belt to hand, she'd rather use her opponent's). She can be vindictive in the ring and in the build-up to matches, and will take any opportunity to hurt her opponent and doesn't really limit this against most of the roster.
1. Finishing moves:
- Psycho Driver #2 (pump-handle version) - against smaller opponents (90kg/200lbs and less).
- 450 splash.
- Weasel Me This (Paradise Lock) - carried over from original weaselperson
- Burning hammer (protected and rare last ditch finisher - ask me before using, please).
2. Signature moves:
- Busaiku Knee Kick.
- Brainbuster (avalanche brainbuster in the El Generico style in big matches only).
- Tiger Driver '98 (double underhook piledriver).
- Stretch Muffler (with stomps).
- The Weaseler (Double Foot Curbstomp) - carried over from original weaselperson
3. Suplex variants (utilised only against smaller opponents, 90kg/200lbs or less):
- Northern lights suplex.
- Tiger suplex.
- Dragon suplex.
- Belly to belly suplex.
- Belly to belly overhead release suplex (sometimes top rope).
- Sleeper suplex.
- German suplex (sometimes top rope).
- Regal-plex.
- Saito suplex.
4. Submission moves:
- Cattle Mutilation.
- Cross-face chicken wing.
- Ankle lock (grapevined).
- Bow and arrow.
- Camel clutch.
- Sleeper hold.
- Abdominal stretch (only to smaller opponents, usually female).
5. Power/grapple moves:
- Death Valley Driver.
- Running Liger Bomb (only to smaller opponents).
- Double underhook DDT.
- Drop-toe hold (sometimes into second turnbuckle, which she will often expose, or a folded out chair).
- Russian leg sweep (sometimes into second turnbuckle, which she will often expose, or a folded out chair).
- Swinging neckbreaker.
- Hurricanrana.
- Poisonrana.
- Dragon screw leg whip.
- Reverse DDT (sometimes onto a folded out chair).
6. Aerial and dive moves:
- Frog splash.
- Springboard crossbody.
- Lionsault.
- Moonsault (from the top rope to the floor in big matches).
- Elbow drop (from the top rope to the announce table in big matches).
- Suicide dive (through first/second or second/third ropes).
- Springboard cross-body.
- Springboard shooting star press from inside to out (big matches only).
- Swanton bomb (often from ladders, scaffolding, stages, etc).
7. Baseball slides:
- Baseball slide.
Attire: Black trunks.
Base Pic:
Sean Gunn as Weasel in Suicide Squad 2
Carey Mulligan (beneath weaselperson skin suit)
Theme:
“Authentic Pyrhhic Remission” by of Montreal - click!
Introduction:
"What's their name?" Russnow asks. He stares at me with morbid curiosity.
"You can call them weaselperson. No caps." Wanda says.
"No... caps. Okay, it looks like they might have automatically added a capital W at the start."
"That shouldn't be there," she says.
"Okay." He scratches something on the paper and writes himself a note. "No caps. Got it. So, got any experience?" Russnow scans the information in front of him.
"No, but that doesn't really matter does it? I've watched your shows, you seem to hire a lot of amateurs."
"We try just as hard to get rid of them. Not sure how they keep sneaking in, really. Usually they get better before we can scheme out a way to fire them. Or one of the shareholders stops us."
"weaselperson is a quick-learner. You don't have to worry about that. They have a distinct look. They stand out. They'll have a lot of value for the FWA."
"Do they talk?"
She looks at me. That's the signal.
"Bark," I respond.
"Bark?" Russnow asks.
"Bark," I repeat.
"Are they a dog?"
"No. Dogs don't say bark. That's just the word we use to describe the sound dogs make. weaselperson is not very bright though. Otherwise we might have found something that requires a bit more intelligence."
Russnow thinks to read between the lines. "I'm not going to have any legal issues with this guy, am I? Is guy, alright, by the way?"
"It's fine. No, you can have your lawyers look into weaselperson. We'll be happy to provide any information you need. You'll find nothing that would put you or the FWA in any sort of legal quagmire."
"Good." He doesn't seem impressed with me. I don't blame him. "I'll have our people see if we've got room for... weaselperson. We might be able to get them on nGw, or maybe even Ground Zero."
"I don't know what those are, Russnow. My client wants an FWA contract. If that doesn't happen, we'll have to look into other options. Seeing what sort of talent is on offer here, I can't imagine you have a monopoly on the industry."
"Alright, you don't have to get testy."
"Testy?" she asks, quite testily.
"I said I'll see what I can do. We got a 30 minute Ratin and Steve match on Fallout, me seeing what I can do basically means yes."
"Ratin and Steve?" she asks, making no illusion as to her knowledge or interest in professional wrestling.
"Nevermind," Russnow says, dismissively.
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