WCW Nitro & PPV 1997 Reviews

[Chris]

The way the announcers were putting over Luger during that last stretch always gets me hyped up no matter how I feel about the match or him personally.

Also, fuck you Deezy isn't the only one that reads this

 

[Deezy]

I spoiled a different match

Also Rodman slapping Luger was the woat.

One thing that always drove me nuts about Cruiserweight matches is when they would pull the guy up at the 2 count. Never made sense and it just made the guy look stupid when they would immediately lose....was a spoiler itself.

 

[Chris]

I only liked it in this Dean/Eddie match because with how Dean had been acting in recent weeks it made sense because he thought he was so much better and got over cocky.

I do agree that it kinda gave away that Eddie was winning though.

 

[Crippler]

WCW Monday Night Nitro
March 17th, 1997
Savannah, Georgia

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Dean Malenko
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders
World Television Champion: Prince Iaukea
Cruiserweight Champion: Syxx
Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto

Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Amateur wrestling to start; before Reg gets a quick roll up for two. He cut backstage to the Sonny Oono & Ultimo Dragon doing the Japanese commentary, and they accidentally caught Dragon without his mask and his hand is covering his face back to the ring and they do the knuckle lock exchange before Rey begins to pick up the pace, he sends Psychosis to the floor with a headscissors before again hitting another headscissors but this one was off the apron. Back in, Psychosis runs Mysterio into the corner, but misses a corner charge and falls back outside. Somersault plancha by Rey! Back in again, Mysterio puts Psychosis away with the springboard ‘Rana dropping Psychosis on his fuckin’ neck for the win. **1/2

​

Footage of Liz and Savage’s attack on Mr. & Mrs. Page

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Maxx Muscle
Page is pissed but just like every Page match Maxx dominates and Page wins with the Diamond Cutter outta nowhere BANG! I should also mention at one point Page hits a splash off the top Post-Match: “Mean Gene” Okerlund interviews Page. Page says he wants to take this to the real world before calling Savage a dead man walking. But as soon as Page begins to leaves a voice says BROTHER, BROTHER, BROTHER! Randy Savage tells Page that he needs to get the bass out of his voice when he’s talking about a superstar, the icon like himself when he is a wrestler with no name. He says if Page wants a match with him that can happen. He then asks Liz but Page asks him to do it right now. He ponders whether he should wrestle DDP tonight or later. Hmm. DDP doesn’t wait for an answer and goes right after Savage to chase him backstage.

Eric Bischoff and the Outsiders stop by to announce to the world that they will put up the WCW world tag belts against a top team tonight.

Renegade & Joe Gomez vs. Hugh Morrus & Konnan (w/Jimmy Hart)
Hugh and Konnan pretty much beat on Joe’s knee for the majority of the match; it’s pretty good and super aggressive. After getting his ass kicked for like 4 minutes he makes the hot tag and Renegade cleans house and legit after 20 seconds takes his partner back in Gomez eats a Rolling Lariat from Konnan and the NO LAUGHING MATTER as Hugh covers for the win. *

WCW US Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs
Seriously how the fucks did Riggs get a title show; dude got murdered last night. How the fuck is on the championship committee? Riggs gets the better early, but gets caught with a neckbreaker. Dean follows up with a baseball slide kicking Riggs to the floor. He drops Riggs chest first onto the rails before bringing back in. Riggs attempts a back roll up but Dean counters. Riggs rolls him up for two and makes a comeback with a dropkick for another two; out of desperation Dean hot shots him on the top rope and wheelbarrow rollup for the win. Malenko tells the world that he still wants Syxx and the Cruiserweight belt.

Lex Luger & The Giant vs. Knuckles Nelson & Tarantula
The graphic for Lex and Giant still has them listed as the tag champs This doesn’t last long as Knuckles take the CHOKESLAM to give Giant and Luger put the bigger Tarantula in the TORTURE RACK for the win. Post-match: “Mean Gene” Okerlund interviews Lex and the Giant; Giant says he was happy to see Sting “come home” Giant says they’ve carried the WCW load and it’s nice to see Sting home. Lex then says at this moment he believes in the Santa Claus, leprechauns, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy all because Sting came home.

Stills are shown of the Glacier, Mortis, Wrath SHIT! PURE AND UTTER SHIT!

Bobby Eaton vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono)
Poor Bobby, this doesn’t even last a minute. A Dragon Hurricanranna from the top rope gives Dragon the win. NEXT! Fuck this nitro is trash.

Out comes the new World order, they talk about their big win last night at Uncensored and Rodman being their newest member. Hogan says that since they have all the bad dudes on their side, the nWo will rule for all eternity. Bischoff suggests to Randy Savage that he would love to see him beat DDP’s tail. Savage is down for it. Nash & Hall make a challenge to defend their Tag Titles against the Steiner’s at Spring Stampede. Somebody in the crowd tosses a cup at Hall’s head. 2SWEET! It was better than the one that hit Sting at the PPV the night before

Call the nWo hotline; $1.59/per minute

Alex Wright & Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett & Steve McMichael (w/Debra)
This is basically look Mongo and Jarrett are finally showing unity and are Horsemen. They dominate Alex Wright early on. Wright makes a hot tag to Starr, but he's immediately shot down by a 3-Point Stance tackle followed by Jarrett's figure four. Post-Match: Public Enemy come out and brawl with Mongo & Jarrett up the rampway. "Mean Gene" interviews Jarrett & Mongo. Gene announces Jarrett/Mongo vs. Public Enemy for Spring Stampede. Debra cuts a long ass promo and just rambles on HOLY SHIT! It’s bad. This whole show is the shits.

So suck a donkey dick Lee Marshaell you sumbag motherfuckin’ dirt bag bitch; that is all.

Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
I still can’t believe Norton is in the new World order he’s such a useless fuckboy. Chavo looks like a 12 year old that should be cutting grass to pay for a suit for prom or looking for a green card. Norton shakes off a dropkick and runs Chavo over with a shouldetackle. Chavo tries the cat and mouse game knocking Norton to the floor but once he tries a crossbody Norton catches and dumps him. Chavo goes to the knee, but Norton no sells and chops him. Back to the knee and Norton doesn’t go down. Chavo’s hit like 6 dropkicks in a minute and none of them have worked. Botches sunset flip leads to a powerbomb and Norton covers for the win.

Hollywood Hogan & The Real Hot Rod, Dennis Rodman. Hogan and Rodman talk about Sting and Rodman says something special is happening in July.

Billy Kidman vs. Chris Benoit (w/Woman)
BENOIT IS BACK and he shows he doesn’t get paid by the minute. Back suplex to start before chops and boots in the corner. He knees Kidman in the gut followed by a press slam before locking in a CRIPPLER CORSSFACE, THE DEBUT OF THE CRIPPLER CROSSFACE Post-Match: "Mean Gene” meets Benoit in the Woman, as Flair makes his way down to the ring. Looking epic in a checked shirt. Benoit says he people might have seen one side of Arn tonight, and he knows Arn will be back. As for Sullivan he’s taken everything away from him. And to see his own son say “he wishes his dad was dead” Woman says she has nothing to say. Flair then says; Piper complaining about Ric Flair not being at UnCeNSoReD last night? He was in Savannah with all the finest ladies. Word on the street is, Piper dropped the ball. Flair recalls a man who a few weeks back came out on nationwide TV and said he just wanted to go home to his wife and babies. Maybe if Flair had listened to that Roddy Piper, then the Four Horsemen would have won at the PPV last night. When you’re a part of the Horsemen, you don’t play that game. From Flair’s point of view, there are two choices in life. Go home to your wife and babies or you can be a part of the Four Horsemen and dance all night. WOOOOOO!

MICHAEL BUFFER ON NITRO.

The Steiner’s vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
Wait isn’t The Outsiders suppose to be in the match did that cup of Beer knock Hall out? Or did the hair soak up all the beer and make him drunk? Booker & Scotty start off with a real fun fight. Rick and Stevie do some things and it’s meh! Heat begin to isolate Rick and his injured back, but Booker misses an elbow to set up the hot tag to Scott who cleans house. Rick and Stevie Ray brawl to the floor. This goes on until the nWo attack; The Outsiders try to re injure Rick Steiner now that they have offered them up a tag titles shot at Spring Stampede. Lex Luger and the Giant make the save to even the playing field a little bit. Once the nWo scatters in the aisle, Sting descends from the rafters down among his WCW brethren and points his bat at Hollywood Hogan.

 

[Crippler]

WCW Monday Night Nitro
March 24th, 1997
Duluth, Minnesota

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Dean Malenko
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders
World Television Champion: Prince Iaukea
Cruiserweight Champion: Syxx
Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto

We get a video recap of the Savage/Page promo from last week; they then show Larry “The Axe” Henning in the crowd.

WCW US Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Konnan
Konnan has a new theme song and no Jimmy Hart with him, is it finally safe to say the Dungeon is DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! Dean has a band-aid over his left eyebrow, I’m guessing because a Saturday night match or a road fights with Eddie. I should tweet ask him about it on twitter? Gotta love modern day technology Konnan tries to work a arm but Dean slips out and just puts the boots to him Crowd love them some heel Dean, face paced action happens as we cut to a split screen with Syxx cutting a interview; he acts like he and Eddie are buddies WHAT! As we return to the ring a rolling lariat by Konnan is followed up with a powerbomb for two. Dean, however would comeback and hit a leg lariat. La Magistral gets two. Konnan heads up, but flies down misses a move allowing Dean to simple lock him into the Texas Cloverleaf forcing Konnan to tap. Tony tells us that Dean will be facing Benoit at Spring Stampede WHAT! random as fuck. Good little match here.

“Mean Gene” Okerlund meets Dean Malenko on the entrance way, his mic is cuttoff for like 10 seconds you don’t hear everything he says. But it cuts right in at the point when he asks Dean about the Eddie/Syxx stuff. Dean says it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that whenever he sees Eddie Guerrero, Syxx isn’t too far away and he’s going to get to the bottom of it. Right now though, he has his attention turned to Chris Benoit. He has mutual respect for him ‘cause they both want to be number one.

OH SHIT! GUYZ They show footage of Mortis and Wrath beating up Glacier at UnCeNSoReD, guess how many fucks are still not given.

Jerry Flynn vs. Mortis (w/James Vandenberg)
I still can’t believe they named a guy not named Jerry Lynn, Jerry Flynn is so silly back and forth nonsence to start as Flynn goes all karate kid with a back kick but Mortis comes back with one of his own, it was more of a maul kick. He makes the mistake of taunting the crowd allowing Flynn to hit a spin kick. Mortis suckers him in and puts the boot up kinda like a superkick. whole match is just based off kicks. Mortis drops the knee into the back for two before James gets involved. He face plants Flynn for another two before taking him into the corner. I think Mortis tries a ‘rana but Flynn powerbombs him and makes a comeback. A FUCKIN’ BACK KICK LOW BLOW INFRONT OF THE REF! Is followed with a superkick. Mortis hits a Samaon drop off the middle rope for the win Mortis is a FORCE! Says Tong lmao

La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera
Parka coming out with wearing a sombrero, skull printed suit and has a golden skull championship belt for no reason is the greatest thing ever. Shoving contest to start as Juvi uses the quickness to avoid Parka and hits a spinning back kick. OH SHIT! La Parka backdrops Guerrera to the apron and struts away. He doesn’t realize Juvi landed on his feet and attempts a crossbody, but Parka catches him and struts to the other side of the ring He puts Juvi on the top turnbuckle and gives him a good slap before he struts again. This time Juvi hits a ‘rana that sends Parka to the floor; springboard dive by Juvi hits and he follows with a springboard dropkick for two. Parka clotheslines him but the double-jump moonsault by La Parka that pretty much missed Juvi all together gets two. Juvi charges into a backbreaker rack on Parka’s shoulders, but he just throws him down and nails him good with a spinning heel kick. To the floor, Parka hits a great tope suicida! They fight over a suplex on the apron, Juvi shoulder butts La Parka back and wipes him out with a springboard somersault kick. Juvi goes for a top-rope hurracanrana, but La Parka blocks the move and pulls Juvi back up for a powerbomb! He finally finishes this with a CORKSCREW Moonsault for the win. THIS WAS FUCKIN’ AWESOME. PARKA IS JESUS! ***1/4

We see a video recap of the Steiner’s/Outsiders feud from the past three months. "Mean Gene" interviews the Steiner Brothers on the ramp; I can’t even type what Scotty says ‘cause I have no idea what he says and Rick says he’s ready.

Public Enemy vs. High Voltage
This was trash, they basically did nothing worthwhile and coasted until the end when Jarrett and Debra storm down to ringside and while the ref is paying attention to Rocco and Rage, and Jarrett cracks Grunge over the back of the head with the case allowing Grunge to cover for the win. Post-Match: Mongo is upset as he feels he’s being set up lolwat!

"Mean Gene" interviews Lex Luger & The Giant in the locker room; Giant says he doesn’t want to have to fight his good buddy Lex Luger at Spring Stampede in the four corners match, but he will in order to get a WCW world title shot. Lex continues to hype Sting up and says all Hogan has to look forward to is the chokeslam or the RACK!

Sonny Oono cuts a split-screen promo making fun of Rey Mysterio calling him the only wrestler he has to bend down to speak to. His man Ultimo Dragon will be facing Rey at Spring Stampede in their PPV rubber match

Psychosis vs. Super Calo
Psychosis starts out with chops and follows with a spin kick, but Calo comesback with kicks of his own. Calo walks up the ropes and then comes back at Psychosis with an armdrag to take him to the floor. Psychosis ducks a slide through the ropes. Back in, Psychosis drops Calo on the top rope and gives him a springboard spinning heel kick. Crucifix pin by Calo gets two; he followed up with a front dropkick to send Psychosis to the floor. Calo runs down the apron and gives Psychosis a somersault headscissors He slams Psychosis to the floor and splashes him. Back in; Calo flies down into a spinning heel kick. That stuns Calo long enough for a Diving Leg Drop. Another jam packed 4 minute match, I’m liking this. **3/4

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart)
No woman tonight which is a shame. Tony tells us instead of being with her boyfriend, Benoit, she's at Arn Anderson's house as he recovers? WAT! Hard lock up to start; Hugh uses the power but Benoit comesback with nasty chops. He bounces off the ropes but Hugh catches him with a press slam and a huge corner splash. Hugh tries a boot but Benoit catches it and leg whips him, he avoids another charge and connects with a German. Benoit heads up top but Konnan runs down as the ref is distraced with Hart allowing Hugh to hit the no laughing matter. Post-Match: Hugh and Konnan attack Benoit and here comes Kevin Sullivan to join, he begins slapping the shit out of Benoit as Dean Malenko runs down for the attempted save out of his respect for Benoit, but ends up failing. Ric Flair runs down to a huge pop and cleans fucking house WOOOOOOOOOO! Flair and Benoit hug until Benoit and Dean see each other and get ready to fight. Schiavonee asks if Dean was coming down to aid Benoit, or help beat up Benoit until the Dungeon beat him up. Tony wonders where Mongo and Jarrett are, JUST KILL THIS VERISON OF HORSEMEN ALRADY!

The Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
Barbarian and Booker start; and with some assistance from Meng hangs Booker on the top rope. Booker would comeback with a crossbody before tagging Stevie in. Stevie does Stevie Ray things while the crowd chants “WE WANT BOOKER.” he would fuck up allowing Meng to beat on him allowing the Faces to isolate him. Booker catches Barbarian with a knee from the apron and Stevie Ray drops Barb with a big boot. Tag to Booker, he hits the Ax Kick. He tries the Harlem Sidekick, but Barbarian moves and Booker gets crotched only to have Meng run over and clothesline him back into the ring. Double headbutts gets two; as the Faces of Fear now work on Booker. In a weird moment, Sherri distracts the ref while Stevie Ray comes in and breaks up an ab stretch. When the ref turns back around, he doesn’t make Stevie Ray leave. ALL BLACKS LOOK ALIKE! After Stevie Ray beats down Meng, he tags Booker for a Rocket Launcher for two. Harlem Sidekick scores another two. Booker telegraphs a backdrop and gets drilled with a Sitout Powerbomb by Meng for two. Barbarian head out to the floor to brawl as herri pushes Booker out of the way of a corner charge from Meng only for her to somehow take the hit. That knocks her all the way to the floor. Booker gives Meng another kick to the head and schoolboys him up with a handful of tights for the win. Longest Nitro match this year and it ruled, Faces are awesome Booker showing flashes of awesomeness and Stevie played his part.

"Mean Gene" brings out Chris Benoit & Ric Flair; Benoit accuses Sullivan of being the one to attack Arn Anderson last week. He then says Dean's paranoid to think Eddie & Syxx are conspiring against him, and that he needs to stop messing around because he's slowly losing respect for Dean. Flair says the exact same promo last week; about Piper calling him and the Horsemen out. He says the only difference is he goes to bed one night a week but 20 years ago they didn’t WAT! Flair says he owes it to the young guys to show them how to get it done.

Madusa vs. Malia Hosaka
HOLY SHIT! This is embarrassing; Look if the reason we didn't get women's wrestling in WCW was because Bischoff was in charge then we need for him to get his job back A”FUCKIN’”SAP

NO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? REALLY? WHY RIGHT AFTER THAT MATCH DO YOU HAVE TO FURTHER KILL MY VIBE! I WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKIN’ FACE AND WATCH YOU GET EVER BONE BROKEN. No one cares about Roanoke, VA I bout that they are having a Nitro party, LIES! WHAT THE FUCK IS A TOURNAMENT OF WEASELS PARADE?! SERIOUSLY! GO GET RAPED!

Renegade vs. Jim Duggan
Well looks like this Nitro is going downhill, if only this was ’97 cause I would be turned this waste of cum over. Renegade is trying to work heel and it’s a fail ‘cause he working a blueberry. Renegade hits the Handspring Splash in the corner, but Duggan NO-SELLS and pulls out another roll of crotch tape and straight punches Renegade with it for the win. HOW IS THAT LEGAL?!?! Duggan tells the camera that he can beat up Hogan lmao How comes he’s never gone up to Hogan’s face and said it. PUSSY!

Stinger video package

The Amazing French-Canadians vs. The Steiner Brother’s
Before the match starts the French-Canadians sing the national anthem, then randomly stop Oulette and Scott start us off. Pumphandle Slam on Oulette brings in Rougeau, who then with Oulette gets wiped out by Rick with a double Steinerline. On the floor, Oulette catches Scott coming off the apron and sends him into the guardrail. Back in, and the French-Canadians hit some double-team moves before Oulette eats a boot as he comes off the middle rope. Rick gets the hot tag who cleans house; Rick and Scott hit both guys in the corner as Parker grabs hold of Scott’s leg from the floor. That allows Oulette to knock Scott through the ropes. Meanwhile, Rougeau gives Rick a piledriver! Col. Parker tries to whack Scott with the flagpole, but misses and takes a forearm to the face. On the inside, the AFC deliver the QUEBECER CRASH to Rick! Scott brings the flagpole with him into the ring, which keeps the ref from counting the pin. The French-Canadians try to knock Rick with Parker’s boot, but that backfires and he hits Oulette with it allowing the Steiner’s to cover for the win. **1/4

Well, here come the new World order. Minus Hogan and Hall; Bischoff's wearing a Dennis Rodman nWo t-shirt. Scott Hall is MIA. Nash looks into the camera with the wolfpack hand sign and yells RIGHT BACK AT YA HBK! What no promo????

WCW World Television Championship: Prince Iaukea vs. Randy Savage (w/the new World order)
After Savage trolls early; Prince uses the quickness and is in full control as Tony tells us this is the first time Savage has wrestled since November. Savage bumps for him quite a bit until Prince misses a crossbody off the top allowing Savage to slam him a few times. He hits the elbow drop but pulls him up at two, as Page runs through the crowd and begins to take out nWo jobbers but the numbers catch up to him. Nash nails Page out with a Jackknife and Savage with a short elbow off the top right across Page's throat. Bischoff then has Nash Jacknife Iaukea for good measure. Nash looks up to the ceiling and screams for Sting, daring him to come down. They lift Page back up and Bischoff hits a Back End Roundhouse Kick to Page. Savage spray paints 'nWo' on Iaukea's chest, and spray paints '0' on DDP's back and looks into the camera, saying that's for the REAL Hot Rod, Dennis Rodman. BROTHER!

 

[Crippler]

WCW Monday Night Nitro
March 31st, 1997
Roanoke, West Virginia

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Dean Malenko
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders
World Television Champion: Prince Iaukea
Cruiserweight Champion: Syxx
Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto

Video package of Page trying to get to Savage but being outnumbered by the new World order .

In the parking lot; the new World order arrives. Hogan, Eric and Hall are now with them. And by the looks of it Nash seems a little pissed. I think tonight’s the night

Lex Luger & The Giant vs. Rick Fuller & Roadblock
Lex and Giant take turns working over Fuller but a thumb to the eye puts a stop to Lex for a brief moment. Lex tries to get one move in too many instead of tagging the Giant in, allows Rick and Road to continue the isolation. This goes for a few minutes, it’s alright. These two must really be liked cause they are getting a lot of heat on. Hot tag to the Giant and he cleans house like these guys tried to take his lunch. The match would end when; Giant chokeslams Roadblock while Fuller is up in the TORTURE RACK. Post-Match: Harlem Heat run out and attack Lex and the Giant until we go to a commercial. THUGS!!!

Gene Okerlund is with Harlem Heat and Sister Sherri, Booker tells Gene to shut up WAT! And tells him this happen a long time ago when they debuted years ago they are 7 time champs and have never been given a title shot. Stevie says Luger's gotten alot of big things handed to him since coming back to big time wrestling. He calls the Giant s fat sucka. Sherri says things but the boooo’s are so loud I can’t hear.

WCW Women’s Cruiserweight Title Tournament: Meiko Satomura vs. Toshie Uematsu
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Comeback Eric plz, I take bak every bad thing I’ve ever said about you and WCW. Satomura goes after the arm, but fails on a frog splash when she hits knees. Uematsu runs up Satomura a couple times in the corner, but Satomura nails her from behind. Larry Z has trouble figuring out which one is which Uematsu armdrags her down from the top and delivers a big Swandive flying splash for the win.

Psychosis vs. Villano IV
Lucha stuff to start as both men battle to work over the arm. They then battle for the rights to work the head before switching to face pace counters. Psychosis hits a running lariat, before placing Villano on the top rope and flying spin kicks him down to the floor. He isn’t done just yet. Psychosis heads to the top again and gives Villano a Corkscrew Senton on the floor Villano catches Psychosis on the way down and slams him for two. WE CUT BACKSTAGE; It’s the nWo and they are fairly upset about something. Nash confronts Syxx, Wallstreet and Norton and says "either you're with us or them", referring to, I'm assuming, Hogan & Bischoff. Wallstreet is pissed and says somebody needs to take charge, this is ridiculous, and walks off. Norton tells Nash to just take care of business and he'll do what he needs to do tonight. Back to the match and Psychosis hit the legdrop off the top for the win.

​

WCW World Television Championship: Prince Iaukea vs. La Parka
Parka getting a title shot La Parka comes out dressed like Shredder this week, I LOVE THIS GUY! Prince ducks a few charges from La Parka, but can’t avoid the spinning heel kick. He tries a double-jump moonsault and nearly breaks Iaukea’s neck Flying Senton by La Parka gets two. Double-Jump Moonsault gets another two. Parka misses a corner charge and falls out to the floor which allows Prince to hit a springboard double-sledge. La Parka whips Prince into the guardrail and finds a chair from underneath the ring. He sits Prince down and gives him a tope suicida. Back in, Iaukea superkicks La Parka back and misses a flying bodypress. To the floor again, La Parka baseball slides the chair into Prince’s face and the bell rings WHAT! The time keeper rings the bell for a DQ but the ref tells him to fuck off, La Parka ups the mayhem by leaping off the chair and springing off the top rope down onto Prince Back inside the ring, Iaukea makes a short comeback and gives La Parka a flying bodypress while La Parka is holding the chair for the win. **3/4

When we come back “Mean Gene” introduces Lord Steven Regal on his way to the ring. Regal tells the peasants to quite down; He refers to Eric as "J. Edgar Bischoff" and says he's glad he's suspended so he can do what he wants. He calls Rey Mysterio a Donkey Dwarf and says when he wins the title back he will give Rey the first shot just so he can beat him up.

Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho
WHITE MEAT CANADIAN LAME BABYFACE IS BACK! YAY! After some stallng by Regal they begin to wrestle, Regal wins that exchange but Jericho elbows out and follws with a clothesline and a spin kick. Regal rolls to the floor, but hits the springboeard dropkick taking him down to the floor. Jericho suplexs him in and hits the Lionsault for two. He tries a ‘rana off the top but Regal shoves him to the floor and straight knees him in the head. More knees but Jericho counters the clothesline, Jericho ducks and kicks Regal away. O’Connor roll with a bridge and Jericho gets the win. SWERVE! As soon as the bell rings Regal punches him in the face and hits a top rope Regalplex. He’s not done as he kills Jericho with a piledriver and the Regal Stretch. Joe Gomez & Renegade rush out to end it. Renegade starts to, but then backs off for some reason. Gomez breaks it up but Regal kills him with a Piledriver. Kidman and some other dude run out and then Regal kill them too. AWESOME! REGAL IS CRAZY! **1/2 - **3/4

Wallstreet is still pissed off, kicks open the back door and leaves with his bags.

WCW Womans Championship: Debbie Combs vs. Akira Hokuto (w/Sonny Oono)
NO!

AMAZING! Video package rolls of Sting's actions when the nWo first came in, and it ending with him coming home to WCW at Uncensored.

The Amazing French Canadians (w/Robert Parker) vs. Jeff Jarrett & Steve “Mongo” McMichael (w/Debra)
Canadian anthem to start and is just as glorious as ever the Horsemen get the better early as Jeff uses his smartness to fool the French-Canadians as Mongo helps with a dropkick. AFC gets like one or two moves in before Jarrett tags Mongo in who cleans house; Public Enemy arrives and tries to take the Haliburton away from Debra, but Col. Parker takes it away from Grunge! He tosses the briefcase into Rougeau, who nails Mongo in the back and covers for the win this version of the Horsemen is a joke. Oh good this gets better “Mean Gene” interviews these losers; Debra talks, and talks and talks she makes bad jokes towards Public Enemy. Meanwhile, Jarrett and Mongo are arguing. It’s a mess. I hate every minute of this.

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I don’t care that you are in Huntsville, Alabama. I hope the KKK think you’re black and torture you. STOP! WITH THE WEASEL JOKES!

Chris Benoit (w/Woman) vs. Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart)
Morrus attacks early, but Benoit gets off a snap suplex. Morrus comes back with an avalanche and a powerslam. He calls for NO LAUGHING MATTER, but Benoit stops him before he can head up top with a Bridging German Suplex for the win. Poor Benoit; Post-match: Sullivan and Jacquelyn come down and brawl with Benoit & Woman. Konnan & Morrus ruin in and get the jump on Benoit. Jacqueline shoves Woman down and flying splashes Benoit. She tries again, but Woman shakes the ropes and crotches her pretty good. Woman shoves down Jimmy Hart, but that’s about all she can do here. Just like last week, Ric Flair makes the save and kicks the Dungeon of Doom in the balls. Arn Anderson is at ringside and lets Kevin Sullivan pass by him to confirm what he said about wanting a clean slate.

"Mean Gene" comes in for an interview Benoit, Arn and Flair. Benoit asks Arn if he’s in some real pain. He admits it, but says he’ll always be there to watch the back of the Four Horsemen. Benoit calls Kevin Sullivan a victim, but also the perpetrator of his own demise. Benoit also says he’s got a lot of respect for Dean Malenko, but his US title win at Spring Stampede will be a victory for himself and not necessarily for the Four Horsemen. Ric Flair thinks it’s awesome that not only will Benoit have Woman, but he’ll also be the US champ. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lance Ringo vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Lance Ringo comes out, his WCW debut, with a copy of Kimberley Page in Playboy and he shows one of the nude pictures that has nWo spray painted over it. Why? Is this his way of asking to be part of the nWo? Why would you piss a already pissed Page off? Ringo starts the match leaning in the corner like DDP, reading the magazine. DDP sits in the other corner and just laughs; He does what he can, but takes the DIAMOND CUTTER and Page covers for the win.

"Mean Gene" interviews DDP; DDP ain’t going to lie. He thinks it’s pretty awesome that his wife is in a magazine with Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy. What isn’t awesome is Randy Savage grabbing his wife by the hair and holding her head down while Liz spray paints his wife’s back. Not cool. When Okerlund asks if Kimberly will be at Spring Stampede, Randy Savage and Elizabeth interrupts. Savage says Liz just filled him in on who DDP is. He’s the guy who does the Diamond Cutter, which is a move DDP won’t be able to do to him. Savage says that since DDP has so much things named Diamond in his life, he must be a gemologist. At Spring Stampede, the entire world is going to see if DDP has any “family jewels” or not, because right now Randy Savage says DDP doesn’t have any at all. DDP tells Savage to not forget to bring his bimbo Liz to the PPV. Since DDP is bringing the lady, Savage might as well bring the tramp.

The Steiner Brother’s vs. High Voltage
SQUASH!

Heenan​

 

[Crippler]

WCW Spring Stampede
April 6th, 1997
Tupelo, Mississippi

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Dean Malenko
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders
World Television Champion: Prince Iaukea
Cruiserweight Champion: Syxx
Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto

Tony, Dusty & Bobby welcome us to the show; Tony gives us a rundown of the top 3 matches. He says before we went on the air they found out Hall will not be here tonight, he’s been missing for the past 3 weeks. Championship Committee announces that Nash must defend the Tag Titles in a Handicap Match, but Nash says he has demands of his own wat

NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Lee Marshall is doing the interviews tonight. FUCK THIS SHOW!

Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
No Sonny with Dragon tonight is weird; Heenan tries to cover for him saying that he’s busy getting Akira Hokuto ready for her title match. Mike lets us know this is the rubber match between the two, before Heenan overshadows him and says “Rumor has it that Rey Mysterio is seeing one of the girls from the FUCKIN’ TV SHOW Friends” WAT! DEAD! Awesome mat work to start with both men battling over the arm until Dragon scoop slams him. Rey would come back and lock in a clutch but that doesn’t last long, as Dragon uses the power to counter any and everything Rey wants to do. Dragon then says enough of this mat shit and begins kicking the shit out of Rey He slams him but breaks the count at one, just to stretch Rey out some more. Dragon goes back to the arm with a short-arm bar, but once Dragon uses the ropes the ref forces him to break. Dragon changes the game plan with the awesome spinning crucifix backbreaker. He hits a powerbomb and then lifts him back up only to drop him backwards onto the top rope Dragon locks in a sleeper, Rey would break but Dragon would first hit a back elbow and a running Ligerbomb but refuses to pin. He then FUCKIN’ TOMBSTONES Rey but pulls him up at two to lock in a sleeper LOLWAT! Rey fights out and nails a spin leg lariat but Dragon is up first and kills him with a lariat and more kicks. Front-suplex leads to a bridged death-lock. He switches it into an inverted surfboard stretch for a two count before kicking Rey to the floor. Rey baits Dragon to the floor and reverses a whip into the guardrail. Back inside, Rey walks right into a sleeper. Mysterio reverses into a Sleeper of his own and Rey dropkicks Dragon to the floor and fakes a dive 619 style. He catches Dragon when he’s not looking with a springboard somersault plancha. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Tony then tells us to cut backstage and that asshole is actually here he managed to wipe all the cum out of his eyes from his Nitro fag parties and is actually doing work. Lee tries to get an interview with Nash and Syxx tells him to fuck off (YOU COULDN’T AIR THAT SHIT AFTER THE FUCKIN’ MATCH????) I fuckin’ hate this company at times. Back to the ring and Rey hits a springboard guillotine legdrop for two. Both men miss with dives, but then Dragon dropkicks him off the top turnbuckle down to the floor. Dragon comes through the ropes with a dropkick and then SKINS THE CAT back in only to come back out with a pescado. Back inside, Rey punches back and tries a springboard, but Dragon dropkicks him in mid-air Dragon big swings him for 9/10 seconds and both men are out. Both men down. Back up, Rey handsprings and hits a hurracanrana for two but Dragon reverses it for a two of his own. Enziguri is followed up with Spinning ‘Rana off the top for two, as Rey had his foot on the rope. Rey avoids the TIGER SUPLEX, he lunges for the ropes. Dragon tries a spinning heel kick and misses, but then Rey comes out of nowhere and springboards into a hurracanrana for the win. What a great opener, so much fun. Dragon working heel was great but I no idea he kept pulling Rey up just to fuck with him. I didn’t think it was that kind of feud. ****

OH FUCK MY LIFE! Back to that COCKSUCKING PIECE OF CUNT WORM! The useless fuck is again is banging on the door and Syxx comes out. The piece of shit continues to try and get a word with Nash but Syxx keeps saying no. The Steiner’s rush over and start screaming at Nash. Nash says his demand is that he wants Nick Patrick as the referee. Nash spits right in Scott’s face and Scott flips, he beating up the security around the locker room. So that fight back and fucking MACE him and arrest him HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scotty now begins screaming for “RICKEY” that was awesome.

WCW Women’s Championship: Madusa vs. Akira Hokuto (w/Sonny Oono)
Lee is now at the table telling us what he saw, and I don’t care because we saw what he saw. The bitch relives this and says he came out here to be safe. PUSSY! He also doesn’t have a Weasel joke and doesn’t even mention Heenan, FAT PUSSY! Come back Eric plz They putty much used this match to type of what will happen with the tag belts and the rest of the card Madusa’s jabs are hilarious. Akira pretty much dominates, with chokes and hair pull She makes a mild comeback. Speaking of mild, Sonny gets mildly involved by mildly slapping her around. She kicks him away and delivers a pair of missile dropkicks. As Sonny Oono gets kicked off the apron, Madusa tries a powerbomb when Luna heads out and kicks Madusa in the knee to screw up the move. Hokuto lands on top and hooks the leg for the win. *1/2

Tony tells us Scott Steiner has been officially arrested and taken out of the building. It'll be Rick Steiner vs. Kevin Nash tonight for BOTH Tag Titles. LOL WHO NEEDS PARTNERS!

WCW TV Championship: Lord Steven Regal vs. Prince Iaukea
Jesus, Regal spends a good minute and half taunting the crowd and Prince. Prince then tries to out wrestles him, and Regal keeps reversing them into stretches or pin attempts. Regal works the test of strength just great. He does the bridge to avoid being pinned. He kips up to his feet. Then out of nowhere, he kicks loose and pokes Prince in the eye. Regal starts getting pissed that Prince is keeping up with him, so he just starts punching the fucking shit out of him. The match would end with as Regal tries a quick rollup, Prince Blocks for the three count of his own for the win. UGH! Post-Match: Regal kills him with the TV belt and locks in the Regal stretch. *

“Mean Gene” Okerlund first hypes of the Hotline, this week he tells us there is a new clique in town and a bunch of guyz were in a car crash but don’t worry they are all fine. To find out who please call. He now brings out Ric Flair to a great fuckin’ pop. He hypes all of the Horsemen's matches tonight, before announcing that he’s back from injury and will be cleared on May 1st. Flair puts over his friendship with Piper, and then announces Kevin Greene has been cleared by the Panthers to wrestle with WCW and announces that at the next PPV, Greene will be wrestling with Flair and the Horsemen and challenges Hollywood Hogan and the rest of the n.W.o to a match at Slamboree. NOOOOOOOOOOO! BUT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Public Enemy vs. Jeff Jarrett & Steve “Mongo” McMichael (w/Debra)
Public is like cancer; they suck the life out of everything. I swear they are so bad they they have to force everyone to brawl ‘cause they can’t do wrestling 101 shit. I FUCKIN’ HATE THEM SO MUCH. Mongo & Rocco have a shitty test of strength series, Jarrett comes in and goes with Grunge and dominates Grunge. Jarrett botches a leapfrog and gets a headbutt to the groin for his troubles Double Atomic Drop to Jarrett and he accidentally falls into Mongo. Jarrett gets pissed and walks to the outside until the 9 count and comes back in. The match now turns into a all out brawl with Jarrett helping Debra out at ringside who gets put on the table by whacking Grunge in the back with a chairshot. Meanwhile, Mongo and Rocco are battling over by the western-themed set. Grunge misses a splash on Jarrett and goes through the table. Back inside, Rocco gets the briefcase and kills Jarrett while he has the Figure Four on Grunge. Rocco LEAVES THE BRIEFCASE RIGHT BY JARRETT’S SHOULDERS and slides out of the ring. That allows Grunge to cover for the win. UGH! *1/2

Greatest Shoot Ever ​

WCW US Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit (w/Woman)
Woman and Benoit comin’ out both in red and black is adorable. They also stare down the camera man and cut away at the same time AHHHHH! A ton of mutual respect is shown early, neither guy wants to make a mistake ‘cause they know if they do the opponent will take advantage. The mat wrestling and counter moves to start is erection level. Dean takes him down and goes after the leg, but once back to the feet Benoit uses power to send Dean to the floor for a breather. This mat and counter wrestling goes on for a good 6 or 7 minutes, until Malenko tries to sneak an inside cradle on Benoit and pays for it with 2 nasty chops. They start to get angry and Dean puts the boots to him. Dean begins to take over and tries to lock in various different submissions. He doesn’t target a specific body part he just wants to break Benoit’s spirit and force him to tap. Malenko has a short arm scissor on Benoit and Benoit picks him the fuck him up and hits a back drop followed by a back suplex for two. Benoit begins to take over and locks in a abdominal stretch, and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Snap suplex scores another two count. Benoit lays in the chops in the corner, but Malenko fights back with a corner clothesline. Benoit counters a suplex into a front suplex. Jacquelyn runs down and fights with Woman, Jimmy Hart runs down and steals the US Belt. WHAT! WHY? Isn’t that Syxx’s gimmick? Benoit delivers the Diving Headbutt. Eddie Guerrero wearing an arm sling walks out to stop Jimmy. Meanwhile as Benoit and Malenko tumble to the floor, Arn Anderson runs down and forearms Malenko from behind and throws him into the ring. Now Kevin Sullivan is out with a kendo stick. He tells Arn to let him by so he can WHACK Benoit in the back right in front of the ref for the DQ, WHAT! WHY! I HATE THIS COMPANY! Post-Match: Dean knocks Sullivan off the apron, Benoit & Arn argue, Dean's confused as Sullivan, Hart & Jacquelyn force the one armed Eddie Guerero to the back and put the US Title on him to make it look like he took it. As for the match, the first 7 minutes of mat wrestling was amazing but they just didn’t take it out of second gear sadly. It felt like they were coasting until the over booking. *** - ***1/4

WCW Tag Team Championships: Rick Steiner vs. Kevin Nash (w/Syxx & Ted DiBiase)
Nick Partick the young GAWD and his earrings are here to clean up the nWo mess. No shock if you’re reading this, that means to read the other reviews if not FUCK YOU! And I’ll tell you why the tag titles are being defended in a one-on-one match. Hall is drunk LEGIT! And has not been on TV for 3 weeks since a beer hit him in the head, Scott got arrested NOT LEGIT! So here we are. They start brawling right off the bat as Nash gets the better, he’s targeting the head. But Rick gets a boot up and begins a mini-comeback first with a bad looking Belly-to-belly, a 2nd one gets a two. As Syxx pulls the ropes sending Rick to the floor. He begins to put the boots to Rick’s injured head and ear leaving Nash to pick the bones. Nash is in full control now and just beats on the head which goes on far too long before he hits a Jacknife but that only gets a two. Rick low blows Nash and hits the STEINER BULLDOG for two! He connects on a series of Steinerlines and knocks Syxx off the apron. But he he jumps back up and taking off the top turnbuckle pad to expose the steel. Nash then proceeds to deliver a pair of Snake Eyes on the exposed corner. Steiner is completely knocked out. He calls for a third one and DiBiase is telling him to stop. Nash tells him he’s with us and he’ll say when it’s enough. Nash hits the Snake Eyes again and that’s enough for DiBiase as he walks out on Nash and Syxx. For that, Nash delivers a FOURTH Snake Eyes and hits a JACKKNIFE. Even Nick Patrick is reluctant to count but does anyway. Post-match: Syxx and Nash are talking and Nick Patrick shakes his head and walks out on the nWo as well. *1/2

“Mean Gene” Okerlund interviews Lex and the Giant. Giant says he knows this is nWo’s plan but it back failed; he and Lex are friends they are a team and they know the better man will come out on top. Lex says watching what the nWo have done over the past year has made him sick and WCW is taking back the title first then the company.

#1 Contendership for the WCW World Championship: Booker T vs. Stevie Ray vs. Lex Luger vs. The Giant (Four Corners Match)
Booker and Lex start out. Luger is all press slams and clotheslines. Giant tags in to meet Stevie Ray. Giant is all press slams and clotheslines too! Back in, Stevie Ray tags Lex to make things interesting. Lex tries a slam and Giant falls on top for two. While Harlem Heat isn’t looking, they get tagged in. Stevie and Booker have a fun a bit with the older better getting the best of it. Booker tags Lex in out of anger and Stevie laughs. Harlem begins to isolate Lex for a few minutes until Giant comes back on Stevie Ray and tags Lex. Lex signals for the TORTURE RACK, but Stevie Ray saves with a suplex. Lex elbows out of a chinlock, but then takes the Harlem Side Kick, Harlem again isolate Lex for a good amount of time with Booker hitting the Axe Kick; but a delayed cover for no reason gets two. Harlem Heat goes for the Rocket Launcher, but Luger moves and hot tags Giant. He cleans house and calls for the Chokeslam, but decides to let Luger have a chance at Hogan as he tags in Luger. TORTURE RACK to Stevie is enough to give Luger the win. this was more tag team than the tag titles match for fuck sake, now I didn’t want all 4 to brawl with one another but you have a fuckin’ shot at the WCW title and Hogan why are you letting your “BFF” get the win, WCW BOOKING = GIANTS ARE Blue! Also this was close to 20 minutes fuckoff you know of Lex really cared for him, Lex would have said put Booker in the rack too and when they both tap we both get a title shot singles or 3 way. THESE GUYS ARE IDIOTS! *1/2

On their way to the ring backstage, Randy Savage asks Elizabeth if she has a problem with him inviting 22 women to the after party. She’s cool with it. WHAT A WOMAN! SLIM JIMS FOR EVERYBODY!

“Mean Gene” Okerlund interviews DDP in the locker room; Page says sometimes in life a man’s gotta stick up for what he believes in and Savage has stepped over the line. Kimberly says she knows Page is gonna get Savage for what he did and she’s gonna allow him to RAGE! BANG!

NoDQ Match: Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) vs. Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly Page)
Fuckin’ WWE Network not having self high five, piece of shit. Page is PISSED! He charges right to the ring but Savage and Liz bail. Savage grabs the mic and tells Page this is his last day on earth Savage stalls early and almost fucks of a camera guy Big brawl on the entrance way; Page throws him into the rails and the apron before rolling back into he ring. Page botches what looks to be a counter DDT and tries the Diamond Cutter early, but Savage escapes quickly by holding the top rope. Savage hangs him up on the top rope before brawling all through the crowd. Towards the exit of the arena, Savage keeps trying to hit Page with a trash can but Page keeps moving and gets a can of his own, nailing Savage with them. Savage cowards behind Kimberly allowing Liz to attack Page from behind. Kimberly gets caught in between Page and Savage allowing Savage to jump him. Savage heads to the top and hits a double-sledge while Page is hanging on the railing. Savage sends DDP in both steel steps before heading back inside. Savage brings in a chair in the ring and pummels Page with it, when the ref gets rid of the chair (why? It’s NoDq, I swear WCW has the worse refs ever) that gives Savage an opening to beat the shit out of Dave Penzer and take his chair. Savage makes the mistake of tossing the chair into the ring which allows DDP to pick it up and slam it back in Savage’s face. Savage ducks a punch and works over Page in the corner but Page is PISSED! And comes back with punches and combos. Huge clothesline by Savage gets two, Savage catches a kick and spins Page around only to take the clothesline. Savage slams him before grabbing the ring bell and heads up top as Kimberly takes the bell away and runs off. Savage goes for the Flying Elbow anyway but flies down into a boot. Savage counters the DIAMOND CUTTER into a backslide. When he can’t get the backslide, he low blows him and covers for two. Savage is PISSED! So he slaps the ref and piledrivers him Savage then steals his belt and whips him real good before throwing him to the floor. Savage finally nails the Elbow, but then realizes he took the referee out and there's no one to make the count. Nick Patrick strolls down and as Savage lifts Page up for another slam, but Page counters into a DIAMOND CUTTER! Patrick hesitates to count briefly until he shrugs and says fuck it, and counts the three. Post-Match: Nash storms to the ring to grab hold of Nick Patrick. Once Savage rolls out of the way, Nash kicks Patrick out of the new World order with a JACKKNIFE. Here comes Eric Bischoff with the entire nWo even DiBiasie. Savage grabs Kimberly by the hair and threatens to harm her when Bischoff tries to stop him. Randy has CRAZY in his eyes. Savage finally lets Kimberly go so he can nail Bischoff. They get separated as the PPV goes off the air. This match was a lot better than I remembered, Crazy Savage is amazing and Underdog fighter Page is sweet. Post match stuff was cool too I guess. ***1/2

 

[Crippler]

WCW Monday Night Nitro
April 7th, 1997
Huntsville, Alabama

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Dean Malenko
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders
World Television Champion: Prince Iaukea
Cruiserweight Champion: Syxx
Women’s Champion: Akira Hokuto

There is turmoil inside the nWo!

Konnan & Hugh Morrus vs. Alex Wright & Psychosis
The level of randomness that Wright and Psychosis are as a team is great. Wright gets the better early of Morrus and gets a two off a dropkick before Psychosis and Konnan do some things, it’s alright. Lots of flips and counters. Psychosis fights back with a headscissors out of the corner and a flying heel kick. He knocks Morrus off the apron and takes him out with a corkscrew moonsault! Konnan dropkicks Psychosis when he comes back in allowing his team to take over and work the heat on him. We go to a split-screen to show DDP from earlier today driving up to the arena, he’s got quite the black eye and he’s got an ice-bag on his shoulder. Back to the ring, and Hugh misses an elbow off the top allowing Wright to get the hot tag. He cleans house, before heading up top and hitting a crossbody off the top for two. He goes to hit Konnan on the apron allowing Hugh to hit him with a swinging neckbreaker and the No Laughing Matter for the win. Post-Match: Konnan drops Psychosis with the 187 can covers him for three, just for the lulz. **

They show pictures of the Woman’s match.

Lord Steven Regal vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
No entrances and Regal isn’t stalling he takes the fight right to Rey. He uses his power and strength to just throw Rey around the rail before taking it to the floor to drop him on the rail. Meanwhile in the back, nWo Hollywood arrive to the arena. That means Hogan, Bischoff, DiBiase, and Vincent. Hogan says very sternly to Bischoff that tonight they'll take care of the family business, and once that's done, they'll move on to the real matters at hand. Back to the match; and Regal is still beating on Rey until Rey counters out of the butterfly suplex with an armdrag and dropkicks. Rey delivers a springboard dropkick and headscissors Regal off the middle rope gets two. Springboard ‘Rana gets a two before Regal hits the front suplex and locks in the Regal stretch as Rey manages to reach the ropes, but Regal won’t release on the five-count and loses by DQ. Post-Match: Prince Iaukea heads down to save Rey. He gets stuck in the Regal Stretch too Refs & Officials finally break it up. But he still puts the cheap shots. **1/4

Backstage: the other nWo members appear. Randy Savage is on crutches with his ankle in a cast. Still no Scott Hall RIP!

Chris Benoit (w/Woman) vs. Ice Train (w/Teddy Long)
Ice Train powers over Benoit early on, Benoit’s chops have no sound to them tonight. They have this Awesome chop-off before Icetrain no sells them and kills Benoit with a lariat. Backstage; We go to the split-screen as we see the entire nWo meeting together. Hogan tells Nash and Savage that they have a few minutes to think about where they want to go from here. DiBiasie plays mediator as Nash leaves. Back to the match. Benoit knocks Ice Train into Teddy Long and sends him flying off the apron. That allows Benoit to hit a front DDT for the win. Too short and the majority was spent split-screen. *1/2

Pictures of the Malenko/Benoit match.

A video plays of Hogan and Rodman at the Jean-Claude Van Damme. Rodman movie premiere in Chicago. Rodman who looks like a BLACK Goldust and Hogan cut a promo on Ric Flair.

Hector Guerrero vs. Kevin Sullivan (w/Jacqueline & Jimmy Hart)
Typical Sullivan squash. Hector tries to stand up to Jacqueline and fails. The Tree of Woe sets up the DOUBLE STOMP for the win. TRASH!

Well here comes the new World order; Hogan, Bischoff, Vincent, DiBiasie, Norton & Fake Sting come out. A few seconds behind, Nash, Syxx, Bagwell, Wallstreet & Big Bubba come out. And all the way in the back, Macho limps out on crutches with Elizabeth. DECENSION! Hogan gets on the mic and says without the nWo together, the World Title don't mean crap, and he drops it on the ground. He asks Nash if he has a problem with Dennis Rodman being a part of the crew. He has no problem with Rodman, He says he was pissed because the only nWo in town on Easter Sunday was him, Syxx, Savage & Norton and he was pissed off. Hogan promises that Nash gets to go on an nWo Easter hunt next year lmao Hogan look over at Savage and tells him that they are not on speaking terms, Hogan asks Nash what the deal is with Scott Hall’s absence. Don’t worry Hulk, the guy is nWo 4 life. Hogan says Nash has 2 choices: either gets his part of the group and Hall in order, or he and Hogan can go at it right now. Nash says he doesn't have to love Hogan to respect him and he runs down their history and says that he is nWo 4 Life. All of the nWo do that wolfpac symbol together. Savage is still pissed and hobbles after Bischoff. The crowd chant for Sting as Hogan tells Savage and Bischoff to stop acting like idiots and keep this thing together. Savage offers a truce and Bischoff accepts.

Buy the Sting Scorpion t-shirt for only $20 plus $5.95shipping

“Mean Gene” Okerlund brings out Ric Flair to start hour two. Flair says last week, Piper and he bonded as the nWo now know he is here to play ball. Flair then brings out Piper. He says the doctor gave Flair the okay and FLAIR IS ABLE TO PLAY Piper says the nWo, it’s time to play. Flair says Greene wants to play too. Piper says he watched the nWo crap that just happen and it stinks. He then says they can’t wrestle all of them and he’s gonna chop the head off like a snake. Kevin Greene shows up in like world record time. He says he’s got their backs and he won’t let them down. OH SHIT! IT’S A DANCE OFF!

WCW US Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho
Sadly Jericho is still the create a wrestle babayface and is not making fun of Dean and his dad or holds. Lots of reversals and shit early before Jericho hits an enziguri. He follows with the springboard dropkick on the apron and tosses Malenko back in for a missile dropkick. A backslide gets two, before Dean destroys him with a powerbomb and locks in the Cloverleaf but he was right next to the ropes to force the break. Jericho hits a superplex before both men hit heads for the double knockdown. Jericho rolls out to the apron. He tries a turnbuckle smash on Malenko, but Malenko blocks and smashes Jericho’s face instead. Jericho rolls back inside and acts like his face is really hurting. Malenko looks down to check on him and then decides to PUNT HIM IN THE FUCKIN’ FACE! For the win AWESOME! **

Public Enemy vs. High Voltage
NO!

Post-match: "Mean Gene" interviews Public Enemy. They say they'll take the loss, because sometimes this happens. They challenge High Voltage to a Philadelphia Street Fight next week on Nitro in Philadelphia.

Backstage: Prince Iaukea is getting his ribs taped up after being attacked by Regal.

Jeff Jarrett (w/Debra) vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
So this was supposed to be a tag match but Mongo who is here tonight according to Tony just didn’t come out to the ring Jeff seems ok making it a handicap match; Booker gets the jump on Jeff until Jarrett uses speed and a right hand for separation. He fights out of a double attempt as Stevie tags in and beats down Jarrett. Jarrett cleans house as schools Harlem until Sherri uses herself as distraction allowing Stevie and Booker to cheapshot him. They beat on him and toy for good amount of time like 3 times the normal length of a WCW match. JESUS! This is the match they give the time to UGH! Jarrett does have a little comeback before getting beaten down again. Just as it looks like it’s about to be over here comes Mongo and Jarrett tags him in. Mongo cleans house then tags the weak Jarrett back in. Jarrett looks at Mongo and asks why and Mongo shoves him playfully and Jarrett walks right into a Harlem Superkick for the win. Mongo asks Jarrett why he couldn’t beat them? He says he thought Jarrett was a Horsemen lmao

“Mean Gene” Okerlund has gotta get involved, Jarrett flips out on Mongo for treating him like shit. He’s sick of Mongo making him look like an idiot week after week. Debra starts to talk and Mongo finally shuts her up. Mongo totally side steps the question and cuts a promo full of nonsense about loving pain and saying he's gonna beat up everyone in WCW.

Guess who’s in Philly fuckin’ Cheese Steaks and getting blasted in the face. Lee first takes a shot at ECW FAT CUNT! For once Tony and Mike don’t laugh at his stupid weasel joke. FUCK HIM!

WCW TV Championship: Prince Iaukea vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono)
Heenan shits on Price for coming out with taped ribs against someone like Dragon. Dragon points at the ribs and even looks at the ref like is he serious. Prince’s ribs are so fucked that he can’t do a single thing so he tries quick pins. Dragon kicks out before the COMBO KICKS! Dragon slams him and puts a boot to the ribs, but when he heads up top Prince kicks him in the face. Prince mounts a small comeback before Dragon kicks him in the ribs twice before pinning him At least the prince experiment is over YES!

Giant comes out to Lex Luger’s music As Scotty makes his way down to the ring; Konnan and Hugh Morrus attack Scott Steiner in the aisle. Giant heads over and chases them off and Scott joins him.

Diamond Dallas Page heads down to the ring with NO MUSIC DA FUCK?!?!? Page says last night in the main event he faced one of the biggest superstars ever. He says if anybody told him that he would be on the main-event of a WCW PPV two years ago, he would have thought he was nuts. he’s an anomaly. His whole career has been about doing things that aren’t supposed to happen, and he happened to Randy Savage. Page says it happen at UnCeNSoReD when he assaulted Kimberly, DDP says he would have KILLED him. Sometimes winning a wrestling match isn’t enough. He’s hurt and he knows Savage is hurt, and if he has any guts lets get it on right NOW! Randy Savage gets about half way down the aisle when Hollywood Hogan tells Savage that he’ll take care of this. The entire nWo is standing behind them on the rampway. Sting rappels from the rafters and stands in the aisle between the nWo and the ring Hogan starts to walk towards him when Sting pulls out the baseball bat from his jacket and points it at him. He tosses the bat back to DDP and pulls out another bat! They all back off. Sting gets into the ring with Page and they both prepare for a fight but Nash & Bischoff convince Hogan and Savage and the rest of the group to back off as Nitro ends.

 

[Chris]

When does Nitro become three hours and what is your strategy for getting through that?

 

[Deezy]

Didn't Nitro go to 3 hours in 98?

 

[Crippler]

i think thunder launched before 3 hours right?

 

[Chris]

Thunder was late '97 right? I'm pretty sure it came first.

 

[Crippler]

ugh! i might have to start doing cocaine to get through it

 

[Chris]

Are you going to watch Thunder when that show starts up or just stick with Nitro?

 

[Crippler]

i guess so.