WCW Nitro & PPV 1997 Reviews

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Crippler

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I'm still in fuck 2003 mode; so i downloaded all Nitro's, PPV's, Main Events, Worldwide and Saturday Nights from 1997. And seeing how sports are dead for the summer RIP! I thought i should give this a shot of some sort. Plus I've never done a WCW Year review before. I did however watch 1996 when i first got the network when it was WCW week so that's why I've skipped all the way to here. Plus Eddie/Rey happens so yeah. WATCH OUT, BROTHER!
 

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WCW Saturday Night 01/04/1997

Chris Jericho vs. Jim Richland
This was pretty good; it got some time and Jericho really showed off his white meat babyface wrestling. The arm work was really good, and this Jim guy did a solid job selling it until it was his time to take over then he forgot all about it. However, his heat was really good it reminds me of like a poor man’s Regal, Benoit ect he’s super aggressive but his shit doesn’t look as violent as theirs. Jericho’s mini-comebacks were great, the match would end when Jim tries a moonsault but misses and Jericho hits a top rope missile dropkick for the win. **1/2

Arn Anderson vs. Chavo Guerrero
Good chair wresting to start with Arn winning the power but Chavo would counter with speed. He begins to work the head by applying headlocks. Once Arn breaks out he begins to attack the neck and throat area of Chavo; neither man can really gain the advantage for a period of time. Well that was until Chavo hit the fuckin’ Rear View but he gets too aggressive and Arn hits him first with the atomic drop then with the DDT for the win. **

Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko
As expected this ruled; the counters, the escapes and moves are all on point. Only thing I didn’t like was Dean locking in the half Boston grab then breaking it just to hit moves. Awesome fire by Eddie but he gets caught with the Alabama slama but Dean, was pandering to the crowd so Eddie small packages him for two. Minutes later he hits a brainbuster and heads up but Dean meets him at the top with the superplex. Counter out of the pop up and Eddie ‘rana’s both of them to the floor for the double countout. WAT! **1/4
 

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WCW Monday Night Nitro
January 6th, 1997
Lafayette, Louisiana

World Heavyweight Champion: Hollywood Hogan
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders/Hall & Nash
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Ultimo Dragon
Woman’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

Glacier vs. Bobby Eaton
Before GOLDBERG! There was Glacier; holy shit you wanna talk about build, push and dick sucking on commentary this motherfucker was it. And he was so bad; his moves are fuckin’ shitty Bruce lee kicks that just looked like pure donkey shit. Fuck, I might be regretting this already. The martial arts skills are worse than Steve Blackmans. The motherfucker can’t even do a simple roll without botching. Then like seconds later he can’t even pin someone properly. FUCK. He wins with martial arts spin kick. SQUASH!

Schiavonne & Zybysko talk about Piper defeating Hogan at Starrcade 97. They say they're going to show footage of Piper being attacked, but instead show a video package on the Konnan/Big Bubba feud which involved Big Bubba joining the nWo.

Mexican Strap Match: Big Bubba vs. Konnan
I can’t stress how much I hate strap matches; winning a match by touching all four turnbuckles is just super weak. How can I take this win serious when all you did was touch 4 corners. Anyway, this was pure……wait for it shit. Yes; I swear if you’ve seen one strap match you’ve seen them all. I swear I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that I liked. Maybe Sting/Vader. Bubba wastes no time choking and whipping Konnan like the bitch that he is. He gets too cocky and Konnan whips him but both men are wearing t-shirts so you can’t hear the sounds :lmao Again as expected the match is both guys do some stuff and touch 3 of the 4 but gets cutoff to the shock of everyone. IDK what happen more, getting cutoff when about to win or using the strap to choke someone. The match ends when Konnan wraps the strap under Bubba's crotch and pulls him around to hit 3 corners. Bubba pulls Konnan towards him then kicks him back, Konnan gets up and a Bubba right hand sends him falling into the 4th corner. Post-Match: Bubba so he hits the the Bossman Slam and proceeds to beats him up. *

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Kevin Sullivan; He says he has a tape he wants to show but Kevin flips out and says he better not show it. Gene suggests the Horsemen, DoD & WCW should get their acts together and fight the nWo, Kevin says he and Benoit will never see eye-to-eye. Mean Gene brings up the tape that Kevin doesn't wanna see so he walks off walks off.

"Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews the Four Horsemen sans Benoit and Woman; Gene asks where Benoit and Woman are and Arn says until he can get this thing figured out he told them to stay home. Flair then chives in and says in all fairness he’s made it clear being married to the devil for 10 years she deserves a night out with Benoit; and he’s sure that Benoit Is working her out as they speak :lmao in true horsemen fashion. Debra begins to speak and no fucks are given, she bashes them before putting over Arn and Flair. She brings up Jeff and he comes down; he ask Flair if he wants a part time horsemen like Benoit of a pull time on like him. Arn shuts him down saying he’s not even in the horsemen :lmao and he needs to stop his crying and bitching, Jeff says at Starrcade they played him but he still won. Jeff then says he didn’t come to talk to the horseman’s rear so Arn attacks him and beats him down to the ring.

Arn Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett
WOW this was short, and it looks like this is taking place instead of Benoit/Jarrett's. Arn completely dominates but once Jeff gets a few shots in Arn sends him to the floor. Arn rolls him in and hits a neckbreakser and puts his feet on the ropes for the win. Post-Match: Flair gets in Debra’s face Arn teases nailing Mongo with the briefcase. Flair calms down and plays peace keeper. Flair shakes Jarrett's hand, Arn gets pissed and walks off.

DDP vs. Regal is next; DDP's music hits, but he never comes out. Regal's music hits and he comes out. Schiavonne mentions DDP's already turned down a US Title shot after an attack by the nWo, but he wouldn’t turn down a shot at this title. A much lower ranked title :lamo Okay, Buddy

WCW Television Championship: Lord Steven Regal vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
I swear if Jim Duggan wasn’t Mr. America and said the word Hoe he would be dead by now. Bischoff, Nash & Syxx come out to the announce area running Schiavonne & Larry Z away. They claim DDP has joined the New World Order. Regal can't over power Duggan, so he keeps regrouping on the outside to think things over. Regal outsmarts him right away which also didn’t seem that hard. But Jim comes back and forces Regal again to stall on the floor, he completely controls this and it’s 2015 Kane level of mediocre. Regal rakes the eyes before hitting this awful drop toe hold before locking in a side headlock. Regal botches a standing Senton Splash and Duggan tapes his fists up and nails Regal. How's this not illegal? 10 minutes is up and it’s a draw. *1/4

Schiavonne & Zybysko come back after the commercial and wonder if the DDP joining nWo rumours are true. Apparently, he's out to dinner with Scott Hall.

Hugh Morrus vs. Jim Powers
NO!

Hour Number two; Schiavone, Heenan & Tenay

Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr.
Finally something good happens on this. Fast paced chain wrestling to start with a hip toss taking Rey outside, Psicosis botching a the dive to the floor and lands on his neck on the apron :lmao he manages to not fuck up as he heads up top and hits a spin kick. Match stays mostly on the outside. Psicosis goes for ANOTHER Plancha from the top to Rey, Rey ducks and FUCK Psicosis goes forehead first across the guard rail. Rey follows with a dive of his own, as they fight on the apron. Awesome move is Rey using his leg strength to flip Psicosis into the ring head first on the top buckle. He hits a couple of high moves before locking in a figure four head lock. Psicosis fights out and nails him with a leg drop off the top, he bounces Rey chest first into the ropes before powerbombing him for two. Rey fakes out Psicosis by making him hit the ropes in a fail dropkick attempt. Rey would finish him off with a West Coast Pop. **3/4

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Kevin Sullivan (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
Sullivan wastes no time by attacking Chavo as soon as he gets into the ring; however Sullivan has problems getting his robe off allowing Chavo to dropkick him off the top rope. That about it’ as Sullivan beats him up all around the ringside throwing him into the steps, rails and apron before rolling him back in. He hangs Chavo in the tree of woe before hitting him with the running knee. Double stop gives him the win; he didn’t even do it off the top it was a basic standing jump :lmao

Footage from last week's nWo attack on Piper is shown. Schiavone announces Piper has since announced that was the last night of his career, and the announcers plead for Piper to come back and save WCW.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Alex Wright
Before the match they show footage of Eddie Guerrero winning the US Championship with the nWo's help. Then the nWo attacking him and Syxx steals the US Title. Eddie/Syxx in a Ladder Match at Souled Out. CODE OF HONOR TO START! Real good mat wrestling to start, with Eddie getting the better but a series of dropkicks by Alex send him to the floor. He enters the ring again and goes back to what works the mat game. ALSO FUCK THOSE GEEK THAT ATTEMPTED A BORING CHANT! Well, Eddie hears that and now picks up the pace hitting big moves before stretching Alex. Alex's inexperience shows. He keeps trying to outdo Eddie but Eddie always turns it around on him. Alex manages to get a break and he begins to wear down Eddie, Announcers do not give a shit, just keep hyping the Giant. Syxx comes out with a Ladder and he watches the match while wearing the US Title. Wright continues to wear down Eddie, first by hitting a sloppy top rope sunset flip for two and then a sweet belly-to-belly suplex. Eddie tries to make a comeback but gets hit with a spinning leg lariat. Alex heads up top and hits a double axe before a northern light for two. Eddie follows Alex to the top again before hitting a superplex and the Frog Splash for the win. Post-Match: Eddie chases Syxx off the ladder. Good match. ***1/4

Fuck you Lee Marshall and fuck your “on the road” parties.

Amazing French-Canadians (w/Col. Robert Parker) vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
Harlem don’t waste any time with the assault on the French-Canadians, Booker even hits the spin-a-rooni into Harlem Sidekick. That allows the Jacques to jump him from behind allowing them to isolate him. Jacques first hits a jumping piledriver but doesn’t go for the pin; instead they hit a Texas Cloverleaf & Gullitone Legdrop combo onto Booker. Parker distracts the referee and Pierre tries to hit Booker with the flag but he ducks and hits his own partner. Booker hits the sidekicks before Stevie gets the 30 seconds of hot tag, Heatbomb gives them the win. **

Lex Luger vs. Meng
The level of mind fuck in this is hilarious; so Meng takes advantage early cause he Samoan and violent. He beats the shit out Lex for a good few minutes hitting mostly strikes but also a sweet shoulder breaker followed by a piledriver for two, back to back matches with piledrivers :lmao Lex begins his comeback like the match has just started and everything Meng did never happen. He hits s scoop slam for two, he gets him up for the Torture Rack. Meng's leg hits referee by accident allowing Barbarian run-in, but he gets Barbarian in the Torture Rack. Referee comes too and calls for the bell and Luger somehow has now beaten the Barbarian instead. TWIN MAGIC!!!

nWo TIME!!!!! Jobbers come out first followed by Nash, Bischoff and Lizz and the main event HOLLYWOOD HOGAN! Announcers still explain that apparently, DDP & Scott Hall are out to dinner. You know you are the shit when fans are throwing shit at you during your entrance and you haven’t even said a word. Bischoff, Nash and Hogan are in the ring. The rest are on the floor :lmao Bischoff puts Hogan over saying he beat Piper twice in one night. Hogan said it was too easy to punk him and too easy to take out the Giant. Bischoff makes fun of Piper some more as the Giant storms out to the ring. The now attempt to jump him but head takes them all out. Hogan cowers in the corner and Heenan calls him Thunder Lips :lmao Giant brings Hogan down with a wristlock and Bischoff attacks Giant to absolutely no avail. Norton slides Hogan a chair and the nWo come back in and they gang up on the Giant. Fake Sting & Bagwell hold up Giant and Bischoff hits a JUDO KICKS! nWo returns to the announce position and scare off Heenan, Tenay & Schiavone. Bischoff sings We Are the Champions.

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STING appears and heads to the ring. Sting starts whispering more shit to the Giant while he's DEAD. Sting points his bat back at the announce position and the nWo no-sell it like Sting is with them. Sting walks off. Nash & Hogan sends Vincent down to the ring to use the left-behind baseball bat, but wait. THE GIANT IS AWAKE!!! He GRABS THE BAT and throws it down before chokeslamming him. He keeps the now on the floor with the bat in his hand. Just before the show goes off the air we get this amazing blended in shot of Sting looking down from the rafters and it overlaps the Giant still holding off the nWo.
 

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WCW Monday Night Nitro
January 13th, 1997
New Orleans, Louisiana

World Heavyweight Champion: Hollywood Hogan
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders/Hall & Nash
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Ultimo Dragon
Woman’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

Nitro opens with the Giant breaking down the now locker room door to confront Hogan but is blocked by the nWo bums. Schiavone tells us that Hogan says he will NOT face the Giant at Souled Out.

J.L vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
This is alright, typical Cruiserweight action. High flying, spots and not much of a story, literally the first 4 minutes if just both mean trying to out dive the other. Chavo as some good fiery moments J.L almost ‘rana’s Chavo on the top of his head which would have sucked :side: Commentary gives no fucks as they just hype the now PPV and talk about Giant making Hogan look like a bitch. Anyway, the match ends when Chavo hits a moonsault off the top.

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan comes out for a match waving the WCW flag and holding the 2x4 when Gene Okerlund stops him on the entrance way. He says he’s happy that he’s on team WCW and Jim says someone had to do something about it, so he put the American flag to the side and picked up the WCW one. He then goes on to say he needs some help and tells Sting to be a man and join him. Well, Sting appears out of nowhere and hits the Scorpion Death Drop on Duggan from behind. As soon as Sting leaves, Duggan gets up waves the WCW flag and walk to the back. But yet he can't wrestle now :lmao

Sgt. Craig Pittman vs. Chris Jericho
Oh look it’s white meat all Canadian vanilla Jericho; he also has the worse theme music almost makes me wish I had the WWE version where they give him the break the walls theme for everything :lmao anyway this match is over in like a minute or so after a missile dropkick off the top.

High Voltage vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
HOLY SHIT! High Voltage are on some serious roids and sunbeds. So no shock that they suck and suck bad; I’ve watched 3 Harlem matches and they all happen to have the same formula. Booker is singled out again early on, and isolated while Stevie has a short hot tag and the match ends. Middle of the match backstage, Giant breaks into the nWo locker room again and tells Hogan he's a coward before being escorted out again. Bischoff says that the Giant can't get a title shot without a contract :lmao Well during that, Stevie was tagged in and cleared house. Booker comes back in and clears house as well. Four man brawl for a bit, with Harlem Heat hitting the HeatSeeker for the win. *1/2

Schiavone says that TV execs from all around the country are meeting in New Orleans this evening, including the WCW Championship committee; he says they'll be making a decision about Giant vs. Hogan by the end of the night.

Bischoff, DiBiasie & Vincent kick Schiavone & Zybysko out and take over the commentary. Zybysko tells Bischoff he's going to wind up mowing Verne Gagne's lawn again DEAD!!!

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mark Starr
Self high five yeah! Bischoff continues to claim DDP's signed with the nWo after dinner with Scott Hall last week. Bischoff tells everyone DDP is his neighbors and now that he is now he can come over for beer and hot dogs. As for the match it was total showcase squash, Diamond Cutter for the win. Post-Match: Bischoff invites DDP to a BBQ at his house; The OutSiders make their way down to the ring. They throw Page a shirt and Page hugs Nash. Hall shakes Page's hand but Paige pulls him in and hits the FUCKIN’ DIAMOND CUTTER! NASH GOES FOR PAGE, BUT PAGE PULLS DOWN THE ROPES AND NASH GOES THROUGH A TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE! AWESOME! Bischoff & DiBiasie claim Page is now No.1 on the hit list.

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Schiavone & Zybysko are back. They announce the championship committee have made their decision and are on their way to the SilverdomeSuperdome. Well that was quick.

Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero
HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! It’s Eddie/Dean so you know the mat wrestling to start was magical; the transitions and counters are smooth and just looks effortless. I love that neither guy was in a rush to make a mistake, very hesitant for two guys that seem to wrestle every other week on WCW it seems. Schiavone announces the championship committee has announced Hogan/Giant WILL HAPPEN at Souled Out for the title and will also happen TONIGHT as well. Back to the match both men fight for positions until Eddie hits a back suplex and followed with the Hilo. Dean quickly sends him to the floor which allows both men to rethink things. Eddie comes back and locks in or tries to lock in the figure four, Dean tries his best to stop it for a while but he can’t so he reaches the ropes for a break. After another breather; Dean comes in being the aggressor and begins to pick up the pace but he makes a mistake and Eddie catches him with a back breaker. Eddie can’t capitalize, and Dean knees him in the gut before locking in the abdominal stretch. Eddie finally breaks the stretch after almost 2 minutes, as Syxx sets up a ladder in the crowd to watch the match. Dean continues to wear down Eddie for a bit but Eddie comes back with the Gory Special before Dean can roll out and they trade a series of rolling pins. Eddie does the run up the ropes ‘Rana for two but Dean comes right back with a brain buster for two. He tries another but Eddie rolls him up for two, Eddie now hits a brain buster of his own and signals for the frog splash but sees Syxx and taunts him. THE FUCKING FEEDS CUTS OUT AND IT RETURNS WITH DEAN MUSIC PLAYING SO IT LOOKS LIKE HE WON. FUCKIN’ 1997 VHS TAPES!!!! Match was awesome tho. ***1/4 - ***1/2

Tenay & Heenan join Schiavone for the Second hour.

Super Calo vs. Konnan
NO!

Kevin Sullivan cuts a pre-taped promo with a chess board on Benoit and challenges him to a match next week on Nitro :mark:

Chris Benoit (w/Woman) vs. Jeff Jarrett
This is a re-match from their Starrcade encounter that was supposed to happen last week but didn't because Benoit was according to Flair keeping woman busy. Benoit outwrestles him easily to start; and Jeff does the same as the useless cunts Debra and Mongo come out to ruin the match. Oh and Arn is here I didn’t even see him come out. Jeff continues to control the match working the head, neck and throat area. Arn distracts the ref right before Jeff tries the figure four he is just about to make his comeback as Debra and Mongo fight for the right on the floor for the briefcase. Mongo wins but accidently hits Benoit in the back allowing Jeff to pick up the win. BOOOOOOOO! **1/2

Gene Okerlund interviews the Horsemen; Benoit says this is gonna end tonight. He tells Mongo to stop fumbling and tells him Mongo is not a real horsemen and calls Debra a fake whore and says that Woman is all woman and he knows if you know what he means. Mongo apologizes in his stupid voice. Arn says that Flair didn't show up tonight because he's fed up with this situation. Benoit screams at Arn he wants to know where Flair is. Arn says he's in charge right now because Flair doesn't give a shit about this personal business. Benoit tells Mongo to shape up or ship out. Mongo takes back his apology and he and Benoit almost go to blows until Double A breaks it up.

Billy Kidman vs. Scotty Riggs
Riggs squashes this geek.

That piece of shit Lee Marshall is back to tell us about the homo party he is currently in, in Chicago.

Lex Luger vs. Rick Fuller
Rick gets a few moves in but this is all about Lex and his “hot streak” he wins with the torture rack; Post-Match: Luger starts heading up the ramp until The Giant makes his way out. They stare one another down before Lex leaves, Schiavone bring up maybe they were respectful to each other right there because of whatever Sting said to them at Starrcade.

Gene Okerlund interviews the Giant in the ring; He asks him about the support he’s getting and the Ginat says this is not about now or WCW it’s about him and Hogan. He says someone asked him how bad he wants it and he says he wants it bad. He then goes on to say he’s no longer a bookend like he was in the now and he’s read every book. He kept them together, and without him, they will fail.

Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner
Scotty walking Rick down to the ring with Rick on a leach is AMAZING! Arn tools him to start; but once Rick looks like he might be able to gain the advantage Arn bails and signals for the Horsemen to come down. Arn keeps screaming for the Horsemen, Tenay informs us the Horsemen are locked in the locker room :lmao Rick is in control and Arn is bumping for him, he gets clothesline to the floor as he continues to call for the horsemen. He looks back at the entrance and the ring before saying fuck it and leaves. Countouts rulez *

Gene Okerlund interviews The Steiners about their match at Souled Out; Scotty says the Outsiders made a mistake and he's gonna shove his fist down Scott Hall's throat and rip his "goozle goo" out and says Nash can't wrestle if there's not a basketball net there. He says he's going to make a bleeder out of both of them. "Mean Gene" cuts to a commercial. Heenan quickly gets in "Nice Interview, Rick” :lmao

"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan (w/ Million Dollar Man) vs. The Giant
Vincent tripping on the stage :lmao Hogan gets out of the ring when the Giant gets in and cuts a promo on the Giant, calling him a dummy. Hogan says he's not going to wrestle the Giant because he doesn't have to, but before he can finish, the Giant grabs him and picks him up into the ring. Giant's just throwing Hogan around like a rag doll to start off. Hogan tries to escape; but the Giant grabs him and takes him back to the ring. The Giant continues to dominate; Hogan has like 0 offense so far. Giant keeps going for the Chokeslam but Hogan pokes his eyes. Finally, the nWo runs down and the Giant fights them off. Hogan retreats to the back. And suddenly, the tape cuts out. Da fuckin’ fuck bro.
 

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Oh shit you're almost at that shitty Souled Out PPV and you'll see why they didn't go with any other nWo only PPVs :mark:
 

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WCW Monday Night Nitro
January 20th, 1997
Chicago, Illinois

World Heavyweight Champion: Hollywood Hogan
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders/Hall & Nash
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Ultimo Dragon
Woman’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

“Macho Man” Randy Savage is back; he jumps the rails grabs a chair and gets into the ring. He says good to see you to the crowd and that he’s been blackballed. And he’s not leaving until he talks to someone with some stroke; Nitro is a two hour show and he’s got no plans and plans on staying all night. He has a message for his ex-WCW boss Eric Bischoff to kiss his ass. Chavo comes out for his match but Macho dismisses him, he's not moving. Chavo pleading with Macho to leave so he can get his time to shine instead of him hogging the TV in WCW. This has gone on for almost 6 minutes. Macho finally decks Chavo and then sits back down :lmao Some jobber from the Dungeon of Doom, comes out confused as well. Macho beats him up, and then takes out the referee as well. Now he's beating up head of security Doug Dillinger. Okay, this is enough. Alex Wright comes out so Savage hits him too just because.

The Quebecers & Steiner’s come down to reason with Savage from the outside :lmao but that doesn’t work. Suddenly, Sting rappels down from the rafters and walks down to the ring. Sting circles around a seated Savage then begins sarcastically pushing him with the bat. Savage is getting pissed. Sting offers Savage the bat to hit him and then turns his back, but no. Sting finally leaves and Macho leaves with him, both heading through the crowd (No joke when they left the first song that came to my head was Kliq from Big Sean and Kayne, IDK WHY)

15 MINUTES LATER!

Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho
I guess Alex Wright was still out from that chair shot; anyway white mean all Canadian babyface HBK wannabe Jericho is here to electrify the crowd YAY! Good back and forth action to start, I think Alex is supposed to be a face but the crowd booooo’s when he taunts. Jericho hits a sweet superkick but Alex comesback with an even better spinning leg lariat as the crowd chant boring lel. They trade rolling pin sequences with Jericho using his leverage to pin him.

FAKE STING! vs. Scotty Riggs
Fake Sting is the worse, the gimmick is hilarious and awesome but when it’s time to wrestle forget about it. Riggs dominates until Bagwell, Rotundo & Bubba run down and run him off. Riggs wins by DQ :lmao Post-Match: now force Dave Penzer to say Sting wins via countout.

Ric Flair is cutting a promo with Bob Probert of god’s hockey team the Chicago Blackhawks (Side note; this is the night I became a hawks fan. Thank you Flair)

Arn Anderson & Steve “Mongo” McMichael (w/Debra) vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Jeff Jarrett
Crowd is super hot for Mongo which makes sense he was a Bear at one time; hilarious that he was the most over in the match for 97 reasons. Arn/Jeff start and it’s good, reall good Arn just wants to beat the shit out of this Punk and Jeff wants to show up Arn. Eddie/Steve was trash due to Mongo being the worse, but Mongo was so over that the crowd made me for a mini-second think he was awesome. Fuckit; I take back what I said he was pretty awesome for 30 seconds being the Arn of the team. Anyway Eddie Guerrero runs off towards the backstage area. Turns out Syxx was making his way out and Eddie chased him off. Arn hits a spinebuster on Jeff then locks in the Boston Crab. Mongo stomps away at Jeff. Debra storms in and throws her sash in, signalling that her team forfeits lolwat, how does that mean her team loses. WHO BOOKS THIS SHIT! **1/2

Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair who is eventually joined by the rest of the Horsemen and ladies. Flair says each week he looks at what is going on and he knows they are not the unit they have been in the past. He says when he’s with Arn and the old Horsemen he knew they would take care of business first before ladies, but this one is ass backwards. Arn says this is man’s game and a horseman is the greatest thing ever. And the fact is the Horsemen will live as long as Flair and Arn are breathing. Mongo takes the mic and sucks up to Chicago before saying he is proud to be a horseman. Debra sucks up to Jeff before Benoit takes the mic, saying they are all winners and they need to keep it together. Mongo then fucks it up by taking a shot at Benoit.

Eric Bischoff talks about what the nWo has done since arriving in the WCW. He runs down Flair, Piper, The Giant & Randy Savage. Oh and Hogan bought him a bike, yeah.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko
Counter wrestling to start before the match turns into high impact stuff, Dean hits two beautiful spin slams before hitting a brain buster for two. He begins to wear down or rest hold on Dragon before breaking to slam his head into the turnbuckle. He suckers Dragon in and he misses a dive, but comes back and Dragon sends him into the rails. Back in and neither man can hit a thing; it’s counter after counter until Dragon hits the ‘rana off the top for two. Dean fights out of a powrbomb and catches the leg but Dragon reaches the ropes. He the twists Dean up like a pretzel for the Crucifix win out of nowhere. **1/4 - **1/2

Tenay & Heenan join Schiavone who is wearing a hawks jersey for the Second hour (FUCK YOU SCHIAVONE, TAKE THAT SEXY JERSEY OFF AND GO BACK TO ATLANTA)

WCW Television Championship: Jacques Rogeau vs. Lord Steven Regal
Jac sings the Canadian nation anthem to start the match for HEAT reasons. Parker trips Regal's legs early on allowing Jac to gain control, he also take his cheapshots on the floor too. Jac is terrible and Parker again tries to grab the leg but Regal stomps on the hands. Anyway, Jac holds Regal and Parker goes to hit Regal, but Regal ducks and Rogeau gets hit. Regal hits an Atomic Drop and sends both men to the floor. WAIT REGAL IS A FACE?

Oh the biggest waste of Cum is here and his name is Lee Marshall, that waste of Cum is in Milwaukee where Clash of the Champions will be. This bitch takes more shots a Bobby, and I hope Lee gets raped by a Buck.

Sullivan and Hart make their way down to the ringl when Benoit jumps him from behind. They brawl all the way through the crowd into the stands and into the bathroom again with marks that have signs with them. Woman starts slamming her high heels onto the fans to get them out of the way; they fight back through the fans as Sullivan throws Benoit down a whole flight of steps, HOLY SHIT! Sullivan throws beer in his face, which pisses him off so he grabs his hair. He begins to bring Sulliccan to the ring but as he does a fan throws beer onto Benoit :lmao Benoit then takes the time to also give Sullivan the beer shower. They make it back to the ring and what the fuck, the referee calls for the match to start.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit
The match is just a fight it doesn’t last long maybe 2 or 3 minutes long was Sullivan hitting a low blow but as Woman distracts the ref, Hart gives him the bell and he nails Benoit in the head with it when he tries the diving headbutt. Fun as Fuck.

nWo run Schaivone, Tenay & Heenan off commentary again; Heenan didn’t do any epic bail out sadly. Nash, Eric and Million Dollar Man pick up the headsets.

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Pierre Ouelette
Nash says they should stop this match now, beat up Duggan and spraypaint him. YES! YES! YES! Hacksaw stinks up the joint early with his embarrassing work; Jacques shows up and sucker punches Duggan to give his partner the heat. The Steiners run down to even up the odds. Referee is distracted by Rick & Jacques brawling. Scott clotheslines Pierre and Duggan tapes his fist up to punch for the win. NO!

Masahiro Chono vs. "Squire" Dave Taylor
Bischoff, from the commentary station, sends Nick Patrick down to referee the match. Dave Taylor is dressed like a safari worker :lmao this is weird like, Chono jumps him from behind and drops him with the inverted DDT. He would hit the shoulder block off the top as Nick slow counts the both of them :lmao Both fight for the backslide, but Tylor dropkicks him and drops the axe twice sending Chono to the floor. He whips him into the rails and Chono no sells it and go right back into the ring. He hits the front atomic drop and kicks Dave down before locking in the STF for the win. **1/2

Booker T (w/Sister Sherri) vs. Scott Hall
Bishoff shitting on the ’97 Rumble and tells the fans don’t wear 97 t-shirts to the competition, shouldn’t he say please wear it so it makes the WWF look stupid? No wonder WCW lost the war. Toothpick throw starts the match, but Booker comes back with a slap so Hall paintbrushes him which pissed Booker off and he kicks him in the face. Booker gets the upper hand early until Scott takes advantage after the Fallaway Slam. Booker fights back with a crossbody but Nick slow counts the shit out of it. Booker argues with Patrick, which is enough time for Hal to hit the Outsider's Edge for the win. These pointless 2-4 minute matches :lmao

Stevie Ray (w/Sister Sherri) vs. Lex Luger
Nick Patrick da god is ref’ing his 3rd straight match; Luger & Stevie confront Nick Patrick but Stevie attacks Luger from behind to get the match started. During the match, Vincent & DiBiasie are sent to the back to get “Hollywood” Hogan. Luger turns the tables’ beats on him for a bit. After a brief brawl on the outside, Luger locks in the Torture Rack for the win.

“Hollywood” Hulk Hogan comes out and poses for a bit before Million Dollar Man hands him the mic; Hogan says the people want to see him so he poses some more. Hogan says when they hit the windy city the people thought it was a plane then said something about a plane wings getting broken but he used his arms to fly the plane wat. He begins to make fun of the Giant, and says Ted has made sure he will get the job done. The Giant finally comes down and the Security geeks block him from entering the ring. In an “amazing” feat of strength, the Giant throws everyone off him at once, as the show goes off the air. REALLYTHO?
 

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Got beef with Tony the Tiger....he touch toddlers or something?
 

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Don't like that he takes shots at poor Heenan all the time to get over with the other two geeks at the table. Also i hate his voice and his face.
 

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WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIV
January 21st, 1997
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

World Heavyweight Champion: Hollywood Hogan
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders/Hall & Nash
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Ultimo Dragon
Woman’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

Cruiserweight Championship: Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono)
Fuckin’ 4 man commentary team for this match; some real good mat work to start. As I forget the Clash is not a PPV its TV so commercial breaks happen lol. Well that hurts the flow of the mat work, when we return both men are back to their feet and Dean begins to get aggressive as the fans get loud for him. Dragon comes back with some real lovely sounding kicks that send Dean to the floor. All those kicks seem to have gotten Dean pissed so he hits a back suplex before going after Dragon’s leg for a bit. He even takes Dragon to the floor and kicks his knee up against the guardrail. Malenko grabs the figure-four. When he doesn’t get the submission he wants, he starts roughing up Dragon again in the corner, he sure loves to break moves. Dragon hits a few desperation kicks for sperasion but Dean wastes no time and hits a Superplex off the top. Dragon would counter a powerbomb into a ‘rana rollup for two. Dragon dropkicks Malenko off the apron and lands on his feet when Malenko steps away from the pescado, Dragon reverses a whip into the guardrail and then wipes out Malenko with an ASAI MOONSAULT! Back in the ring, Dragon hits a brainbuster and delivers another Moonsault for two. SPINNING HURRACANRANA OFF THE TOP!!! He tries the Tiger Suplex , but Dean tries the Cloverleaf but Dragon counters into the small package for two. He attempts another powerbomb, but Dragon flips out. And gets caught with a Butterfly Powerbomb. Sonny Oono hops up on the apron, but Dean knocks him off, he catches another kick and takes Dragon to the mat and locks in the Cloverleaf and Dragon taps. GOOD SHIT! ***1/2 - ***3/4

Scotty Riggs vs. Mike Enos
This is a squash match for Riggs to get him “ready” for Buff at the nWo PPV tomorrow. So yeah this was 2 minutes of nonsense.

Gene Okerlund interviews the Four Horsemen on the entrance way, minus Flair WAT!!!! Gene brings up that they had a meeting in a hotel room this morning and things seem to be going well now. Benoit talks about Sullivan, and how he is beating him physical, mentally and spiritually and he’s gonna destroy him and take everything away from him. Arn says Benoit ripped the heart out of Sullivan’s chest and he asks Benoit to finish him off. Mongo calls the fans losers cause they chanted “Bears Suck” he says winning is everything and that Benoit is gonna step on Sullivan’s heart, cause all for one and one for all. Debra has something to say when Woman leaves and calls her old.

Konnan, La Parka & J.L. vs. Chris Jericho, Super Calo & Chavo Guerrero Jr
Chris Jericho is subbing for a missing Juventud Guerrera :lmao Juvi Juice no-showing classic. J.L and Chavo start. They do some flying before Konnan and Calo attempt to follow, TRASH! Jericho/Parka is awesome. Parka no selling a lariat and doing the spin-a-rooni :lmao the match breaks down with everyone hitting moves, cause moves rule. Konnan and Park double team the shit out of Chavo. Double-team with dropkicks of their own from both sides. Up goes Chavo on Konnan’s shoulders while La Parka flies with a corkscrew moonsault! Looks like La Parka almost broke his neck. Immediately, Jericho gets the hot tag and cleans house. We get to the part of the match with everyone hitting a dive to the floor and again Parka almost murders himself by diving on his neck. Back in the ring; Jericho places J.L. up top and hits a SUPER FRANKENSTEINER! For the win. Non-Stop action, not the best but hey they only got 5 minutes. ***

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Renegade & Joe Gomez vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
The heat are PISSED! Cause they are PHX’s obviously and they are always mad. They squash these geeks in like 3 minutes, I think the only offense Ren and Joe got was a roll-up and maybe a leg drop :lmao Anyway, heat win with the Heat Seeker.

Oh that Tiger cock sucker Lee Marshall is here; He’s in Des Moines blowing men and gives up facts about Des Monis ‘cause that’s what we turned in to hear about. He takes another shot at poor Heenan, so Heenan he should stay in Des Moines.

Masahiro Chono vs. Alex Wright
Nick Patrick is the ref, cause he’s nWo 4 life. Wright gets all aggressive on Chono until he makes the mistake of threatening Nick Patrick after a slow count. Chono goes to the eyes and delivers an inverted atomic drop. Wright comes back with a sunset flip, but Patrick takes FOREVER getting down to count :lmao Wright finally goes over and kicks Patrick in the knee. Wright goes for a Flying Bodypress, but Chono gets out of the way just in time and ends him with the Mafia kick.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Scott Norton
Okay so this was pretty bad and it wasn’t Eddie’s fault, Norton is terrible and his “big guy domination” moves blow. He works over Eddie for like a good few minutes and that a few too minutes too long. DDP has seen enough; he makes his way through the crowd and hits Norton with the DIAMOND CUTTER! Guerrero hits the Frog Splash for the win. Patrick taking forever to count the 3 was hilarious; he has no choose cause Norton was out :lmao this was just here to remind the people that Eddie has a ladder match but mostly to set up Norton/DDP I guess.

Falls Count Anywhere: Kevin Sullivan (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Chris Benoit (w/Woman)
This one goes right from the ring to the bathroom, real quick real fuckin’ quick. They brawl through the crowd and into the men’s room with Sullivan’s smashing Benoit head off the paper towel. Benoit sends him HEAD FIRST TO THE HEATER! As the ref foot gets caught in the urinal :lmao They head to the ring as Benoit takes a spill down the steps :lmao so far this is the exact same match as the nitro match. In the ring, Sullivan delivers the Tree of Woe and the double stomp for two. Jimmy Hart gets up on the apron and tries to give Sullivan the megaphone, but for some reason the ref won’t allow it? During the tug of war, Woman nails Sullivan with the wooden chair for payback from what happened at Starrcade. As Sullivan drops to the mat, Benoit covers for the win. Post-match: Benoit is not done and he now murders Sullivan’s with a wooden chair shot to the back of the head. VIOLENCE! As much as I love the feud having the same match 3 times in a row is pretty bad. ***

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Rick & Scott Steiner vs. The Amazing French Canadians (w/Col. Robert Parker)
SQUASH! Steiner’s are back and want the gold.

Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall (w/Kevin Nash & Syxx)
Nick Patrick is not here :( After the toothpick throw we get a test of strength won by Lex. He applies a sidheadlock but Scott suplex’s out which Lex no sells and gets in his face. Scott comes back with strikes and hits the middle rope bulldog for two. Lex hits a running clotheslines and begins to hit the shoulderblocks on the arm. Hall fights back with a chokeslam. He throws Lex out to the floor. And after a Syxx’s attack fails, Nash knocks Lex down. Lex barely makes it back in before the ten-count. Which allows Scott to work over him in the corner, Nash distracts the ref while Syxx levels Lex with a clothesline down the apron which would only get a two count. Scott even had his feet on the ropes. Fallaway Slam gets two, and Scott locks in the abdominal stretch and gains a little leverage help from Syxx, Lex slides underneath Scott in the corner and pulls his boys back into the ringpost. He makes his comeback by hitting a series of atomic drops on and follows up with a powerslam and that’s when Nash and Syxx attack. Lex manages to fight them both off, but once he gets Scott in the torture rack, he has to drop Hall as Nash makes it into the ring. But he gets levelled. Minutes later Syxx comes off the top with a stomp on Lex’s head to finally and the ref sees it and signal the DQ. Classic WCW main event. Post-March: The Steiner’s head out to even the score and clean house on the new World order. The brawl continues until we go off the air. **3/4
 

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nWo presents Souled Out
January 25th, 1997
Cedar Rapids, Iowa

World Heavyweight Champion: Hollywood Hogan
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders/Hall & Nash
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Dean Malenko
Woman’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

The intro to this is hilarious yet amazing; they close down a whole street and roll down the street with dustbin trucks with nWo flags. Oh and they are being escorted by an ambulance I guess they couldn’t afford cops.

Amazing video package; and the stage looks awesome. Eric Bischoff & Ted DiBiasie are the commentators for the night. Liz is just hanging around the table too, god she was hawt.

Of course, Nick Patrick is the referee for the entire evening.

They even have their own ring announcer, but he’s not at the ring I think it’s a computer.

“From Somewhere North of the Border” Chris Jericho vs. “The Baddest Man from Japan” Masahiro Chono
A good feeling out process to sart as the camera cuts to the crowd with WCW wrestlers entering the bulding, Harlem Heat, Faces of fear, Nasty Boyz, Arn and a few others. Chono begins to take control of the match, he slows it down. Not methodically but do a move, pander and wait do something else. Thankfully Jericho begins to hit some high flying moves sending Chono to the floor. But he goes for one high risk too many and Chono sidesteps a dropkick up against the ringpost. Back in the ring, and Chono begins to target it while still pandering to the crowd. That allows Jericho hits Chono with one enziguri, but Chono catches a kick and snaps off a Dragon screw leg whip. Jericho manages to fight off the STF and hits a German suplex for two. Eric complains about a fast count :lmao it really wasn’t. Clothesline by Jericho scores another two thanks to more slow-counting. While Jericho threatens Patrick, Chono grabs a sleeper from behind and drops Jericho with a falling inverted DDT. Chono delivers an inverted atomic drop and takes out a table. Chono sets up a table on the floor and calls for a suplex off the apron. Of course, Jericho counters the suplex. Missile dropkick gets another slow two count. Lionsault hits, but Jericho hit the mat on his injured knee which slows him from making the cover asap. Jericho heads up top, but Chono is there to MAFIA KICK him down through the table. Doesn’t work, but a shove will. Chono rolls Jericho back in and follows up with the Mafia kick for the win. Fun little opener. **3/4

They do some Miss nWo nonsense with some ugly ass shotgun makeup face painted whore.

Mexican Death Match: Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Big Bubba
I have no idea why this is a death match more importantly; I’m trying to think why it’s a Mexican Death Match with no Mexican’s, it’s not taking place in Mexico IDK. Hugh Morrus is subbing for Konnan here who was originally scheduled and looking like a lost member of the Dudley family as he’s sporting a tie-dye t-shirt tonight. I think everyone know Death Matches are pretty much Last Man Standing matches. This is just a fat vs. fat boy brawl; it goes back and forth for a while until Bubba pulls out a chain and punches Hugh in the face with it. He begins to whip Hugh with it. Hugh fights back and hits the moonsault and asks Nick to count and when he does he finds reasons to break the count and starting over again :lmao They go to the floor and up the aisle where Morrus misses a NO LAUGHING MATTER off the stage. That allows Bubba to push one of these Miss nWo contestants off a bike so he can RUN MORRUS DOWN with the bike :lmao AWESOME! that keeps him down for the ten count. Ending was great; cause nothing better than seeing a man get run over. *

More Miss nWo questions for a pair of hideous blondes.

Mr. Wallstreet vs. “From Reject City USA” Jeff Jarrett
They show Mongo and Debra are in the crowd, Eric and Ted make a bunch of controlling wife jokes 8D This is embarrassing, boring, terrible, shit, weak, lame all those things into one. I again have no idea how or why this is a match. Jeff has been busy with the Horsemen and has not even had a single segment with the NWO the past 3 weeks I’ve watched. Jarrett controls to start and tries to do his best to avoid being pinned with a fast count. Wallstreet, then kills the whole match with his shitty boring offense. Wallstreet cheats on a chinlock, but Jarrett fights out and sets him up for the FIGURE-FOUR. Nick Patrick LITERALLY pulls Wallstreet to the ropes. Jarrett applies an abdominal stretch near the ropes just so he can cheat since he’s getting screwed over anyway. With Nick Patrick not watching, Mongo jumps up on the apron and BLASTS Wallstreet over the shoulders with the briefcase and Jeff covers for the win, lol ‘ WCW winning a match on nWo turf. Yeah fuck this match. *

EWWWWW! They interview some old bitches for Miss nWo.

Buff Bagwell vs. “He’s Always Been #2 & The American Male Loser” Scotty Riggs
American male song was awesome; shit is stuck in my head now. This feud is such a low rent when tag teams break up feud. This was a lot better than the previous two matches which is shocking but not really, cause anyone can top those two shitfest. Good thing about Buff is he knows he’s a low rent comedy heel gimmick. Riggs gets the better early as he’s one step ahead of Buff. After minutes of getting his ass kicked Buff hits him with suplex across the top rope. Buff nails Riggs off the apron, into the security rail, then poses in the middle of the ring. The P.A. system guy says “loser” as we see Riggs crawling back into the ring :lmao it sounds like he’s saying it to Buff. Buff chokes Riggs across the middle rope, then rams Riggs into the buckle. Riggs with a brief comeback, but Buff blows a back breaker, as it almost turned into a knee to the crotch :lmao Bagwell sits down rests with a rear chinlock, but Riggs battles out with an electric chair drop. Riggs mounts a comeback and delivers a tornado DDT. Both men try a crossbody and Bagwell lands on top for two. Riggs makes his comeback and connects with a powerbomb for two. Riggs wants a superplex, but Bagwell fights it off and debuts the BUFF BLOCKBUSTER!!! for the win. Trash! *1/4

Oh look more ugly ass trashy looking Miss nWo crap. A fat fat fat bitch with 9 zoom glasses says she would get naked with Vincent.

Scott Norton vs. Diamond Dallas Page
NO SELF HIGH FIVE! FUCK THIS SHOW. Poor Page I know he’s just getting his huge pop but he went from making a great breakout with the cutter on Hall to facing this piece of shit. Boreton dominates early cause he’s fat and lifts weights; this goes on for a few minutes before Page applies the headlock. STING IS STANDING BY THE TOP SECTION OF THE ARENA! Not the rafters, he’s by the stairs. Norton gives Page the shoulderbreaker and starts running him shoulder-first into the ringpost, back into the ring and Norton doesn’t work the arm instead he does a slingshot to the ropes and attempts 3 cloethesline but fails. Page makes a brief comeback before Buff Bagwell and the rest of the nWo jobbers offering DDP a second chance to join up with the crew. Like DDP always says, you always got to go nWo. Page puts on the shirt and pulls Norton in for a Cutter and nails it BANG! The crowd goes nuts as Page starts swinging at everybody and then makes a run for it up into the upper deck as he celebrates with all the fans and rips off the nWo shirt. Nick Patrick awards Norton the match via countout. Poor Page allowed this geek all this offense and stupid WCW not even allowing Page to get the clean win over this waste of a spot. *

Tag Team Championships: “The Two Dog-Faced Michigan Mutts” Rick & Scott Steiner vs. The “Outsiders” Scott Hall & Kevin Nash
You know the A team is out cause they get the nWo theme song, while the jobbers get the generic nothing like the nWo song. Scott and Scott lock up first. But as soon as Hall sees Scotty will win the power game he goes right to work on the right arm of Scotty. They trade abdominal stretches but Steiner slams Hall and starts throwing Hall around with belly-to-bellies. The leads to the Outsiders catching a breather on the floor, Rick and Hall interact now and Rick controls the pace buy gets caught with the fallaway slam for two. The Stieners make the tag but as soon as Scotty comes in Hall catches him with a chokeslam before tagging Nash in. Nash delivers the knees and elbows in the corner, but Scott fights out with a Spinning Belly to Belly Suplex for two. Rick tags in and gives Nash a powerslam, but Hall nails him from the apron and that allows Nash to take Rick to the floor with a big boot. The Outsiders antagonize Scott on the apron, Nash spits over at Scott, so Rick gives him a good low blow. HOT TAG TO SCOTT STEINER! And he cleans house. They go for the STEINER DDT, but Nash breaks that up and knocks down Nick Patrick by accident. Hall connects with the Outsiders Edge, but there’s no ref. Rick comes off the top with the with the Bulldog and puts Scott on top of Hall. He goes out to revive Nick Patrick, but here’s Randy Anderson jumping the rail and telling Rick that he will make the three-count since he’s a referee and all. So that’s what he does, he pushes his sleeves up, and counts the three. LOLWAT! Randy Anderson is not an nWo official. Just because you’re a referee doesn’t mean you can just count pins whenever you want to. Bischoff and DiBiase are already saying that this decision will be reversed :lmao match was pretty meh, I wouldn’t say it’s bad but big guys vs. big guys rarely work and this didn’t. Also maybe the nWo should employ more than one ref. **1/2

Ladder Match for the United States Championship: “The Mexican Jumping Bean” Eddie Guerrero vs. Syxx
This is taking place ‘cause at Starrcade Eddie won the title but was jumped by the nWo and Syxx stole the title. Eddie has been chasing him ever since; this is a ladder match because this card needs some excitement I guess. Syxx doesn’t even get the nWo A lister music; being part of the kliq sure worked out for him, also this bum is wearing his 123 Kid attire. Did he not get the memo about wearing black and white? HOLY SHIT THE BELT IS FUCKIN’ HIGH! SHE LOOKS 30 FEET UP FROM THE RING! Syxx goes on the attack early with KARATE strikes of death. Thankfully Eddie comes back with and hits a sweet dive off the top to the floor. Syxx shoves Eddie off a hurracanrana attempt in the corner, who does a back flip onto his feet, and Syxx comes off the second rope with a spinning heel kick. He connects with the Bronco Buster, but Eddie flips out of a backdrop and dropkicks Syxx to the floor. Syxx counters a suplex off the apron and brings Eddie down hard to the floor. Syxx finds the ladder and slams it into Eddie up against the apron. They get into a tug-of-war over the ladder, which Eddie wins and hotshot the ladder up into Syxx’s face. In the ring, Eddie slams the ladder down on Syxx before leaving it in the corner, Syxx counters the whip and Eddie goes frontwards into the ladder. Syxx stomps the ladder on Eddie and gives him a lift into the air to come crashing down onto the ladder. He then tries a legdrop off the ladder, but Eddie meets him at the top. They exchange strikes until Syxx punches Eddie in the balls through one of the rungs and shoves Eddie down the ladder down. Syxx takes too much time and Eddie dropkicks the ladder to crotch Syxx on the top rope. Eddie brings Syxx down with a superplex and sets up the ladder. Syxx connects with this awesome dropkick off the ladder on Eddie to send them both crashing to the mat. Back up the ladder, Syxx punches Eddie down into the ropes as he bounces back and knocks the ladder over. One more climb up and they both get a hold of the belt. Eddie manages to smash the belt back in Syxx’s face and Eddie drops the belt as Syxx falls to the mat, so he climbs down and picks it up for the win, lolwat. Match was good, but not really good I’m sure at the time me and a lot of people would be marking hard but seeing how it’s 18 years later and ladder matches have been done to death it hard to care for stuff you see all the time now. ***

Alright, time to award Miss nWo cause it’s why we all tuned in. and the winner is……… the ugliest and the fattest chick of the crew. YAY! Fat chicks are people too. They had a chance to show off some hot models to wake up the crowd. Instead, we get this. No wonder WCW Is DEAD!

WCW nWo Wold Heavyweight Championship: “The Biggest Failure the nWo Ever Had” The Giant vs. “The Biggest Icon in Wrestling” Hollywood Hogan
Hogan comes out with a few of the Dallas Cowboys. Not sure what that is supposed to mean in Iowa, this must have been when the Cowboys were winning championships; even though the Superbowl that year was Pack/Pat. The Giant chops the shit out of him early, but Hogan uses his smartness to sucker the Giant in countless times. A double clothesline leads to Giant gaining the advantage, and beats on him until he bails from the ring. Vincent that bum tries to get involved and fails, Hogan tries a series on shouldtackles before a flying small package attempt :lmao but the Giant catches him and throws him around some more. Hogan tosses some powder in Giant’s eyes. Giant fights back with a backbreaker, but misses a flying elbow drop off the top. Giant NO-SELLS a Big Boot, but takes the slam and the LEGDROP. BUT HE’S UP! Hogan poses around while the Giant connects with a Chokeslam for two Patrick says Hogan rolled the shoulders, but Hogan is out :lmao Giant pushes down on both Hulk’s shoulders and still Patrick says Hogan kicked out at two :lmaolmao He hooks a leg AND holds down the shoulders as Patrick complains of his shoulder hurting now :lmaolmao:lmao To be fair, he has been refereeing all night, Giant is pissed and chokeslams Patrick. Well the nWo come rushing down to go after the Giant and one by one, they all take chokeslams. Finally, Hogan finds a a guitar and levels the Giant with it. The crowd chants “We Want Sting” Well I guess the match is over ‘cause Nash, Hall, Eric, and Syxx all join Hogan and spray the back of the Giant. Terrible match to end what might be the worse PPV ever. *
 

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Nick Patrick the GOAT of the night
 

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WCW Monday Night Nitro
January 27th, 1997
Des Moines, Iowa

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
World Tag Team Champions: The Steiner’s
World Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Dean Malenko
Women’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

Eric Bischoff, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash are the commentators for the night or just for the first hour it looks like. Eric Bischoff shows video of the Steiner’s winning the titles last night with the Outsiders getting screwed. Bischoff calls Randy Anderson who counted the pinfall to come over to the booth. He says a promoter save him a free ticket :lmao way to kill the ppv already :lmao Bischoff says that goes against the policy because you can’t accept gifts at WCW. Therefore since Randy Anderson accepted the gift, he is immediately terminated. Randy Anderson mentions how he’s had a bout with cancer over the last year and how he’s got kids to support :lmaolmao Bischoff now calls the Steiner’s out. Since Eric is the highest ranking official in WCW, he demands that they return the belts or they will be guilty of breach of contract. Of course the Steiner’s are pissed about this and they throw the belts down, Bischoff tells them not to worry about picking up their paychecks for the next six months because they are going to be fined BIG TIME for their actions.

The Steiner Brothers vs. Faces of Fear
Well the Steiner’s are pissed and just want to fight, but the problem is they’re facing a Samoan and a barbarian so it’s a FIGHT! Outsiders on commentary offer an open challenge tonight for their Tag Team Titles. The Faces of fear work over Scotty’s “injured” back for a good portion of the match; like it’s 80/20 at this point. Odd spot as Rick falls on top of Barbarian off a belly to belly superplex as if he countered the move. Nevertheless, Rick ducks a kick and takes Barbarian over with a back suplex, which leads to a hot tag for Scotty; he cleans house before the action breaks down and Scott gives Meng an overhead suplex for the win. Fun time. **3/4

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After the commercial break, Tony Schiavone & Larry Zybysko are back.

The Giant vs. Road Block
Just like the Steiner the Giant is PiSSED! He quashes Road Block in like a minute. Post-match: The Giant gets on the mic and says "the fire breathing Giant is still alive” and he says he wants Hogan again tonight.

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WCW United States Championship: Eddie Guerrero vs. Jeff Jarrett
I guess this is taking place cause of what happen last week when Eddie ditched Jeff to chase Syxx to get his title back. I have no idea why this is for the belt though; Jeff getting cocky right off the bat with a healock tag down is hilarious. They counter wrestle for a bit with both men trying to one up the other until a Jarrett hits a clothesline for two, more counter moves but they would also hit a move. It’s basically I do a move, you do a move and so on. Jeff would gain the advantage after a Suplex, but once Jeff taunts the crowd that allows Eddie to make a brief comeback before knocking heads for the double knockdown. Eddie makes another comeback hitting a Brainbuster, he heads up top for a Frog Splash but gets cut off allowing Jeff to hit the superplex. Guerrero kicks away a figure four attempt as Debra pulls Steve McMichael down to ringside. Eddie starts up the ten-count corner punch, but there’s Mongo up on the apron to bring him down. Instead of going after Eddie, Mongo knocks Jarrett out of the corner with the briefcase to give Jarrett the win via DQ. Post-Match: Debra tells the camera that Mongo will be in trouble when they get home, and Zybysko says “That’s why you should keep them in the kitchen” **3/4

Schiavone has found found the "lost footage" of Starrcade where Piper beats Hogan with the Sleeper Hold. As Hogan’s arm drops twice during the sleeper hold, the tape stops and we don’t get to see the actual ending to the match. Tony and Larry Z act all confused when Eric Bischoff comes over with the tape and reprimands them for what they tried to do. Eric pulls apart the videotape as we go to break.

Billy Pearl vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono)
This Billy guys looks like he should be in some kind of TV sitcom in the 90’s not wrestling, and his wrestling proves this. I think this is Billy’s debut as I’ve never seen him before; anyway Dragon beats him in like 2 minutes after a Flying Moonsault and the Tiger Suplex.

"Mean Gene" Okerlund brings out the Four Horseman with ladies for an interview; Schiavone tells up that Benoit and Woman didn’t show up last Saturday night for a 6 man :lmao that’s like the 2nd time in the past 2 weeks he no showed a show. Flair says last week he can’t blame Benoit for his decision for picking woman and vise versa. Flair tells Debra to do what Mongo says. He then tells a fat fan to shut up, so they are heels now :lmao Arn then gets on the mic and says in Tennessee they don’t speak or understand English and tonight Mongo told him straight. He says Benoit did a number on Sullivan last week. Mongo tells the fans to shut up because they are zipperheads and that he is proud of what he did to Jarrett. Benoit says it’s his way or the hard way and he tells Sullivan to let it go cause he’s beaten him every way and he’s far beyond this.

Ron Powers vs. Lex Luger
Jobbers getting theme music and entrances, WHAT! This is Ron Powers debut and I can already see this fat boy will not last. Lex squashes this fat fuck in like a minute with the torture rack. Post-match: "Mean Gene" Okerlund interviews Lex, he asks him about the hot streak he’s been on before putting him over as a savoir of WCW. Lex says The Giant's help against the nWo is welcomed but WCW as a whole needs to work together, including the Horsemen & Dungeon of Doom. Luger said he's open for suggestions.

Arn Anderson & Steve “Mongo” McMichael (w/Debra) vs. The Amazing French Canadians (w/Robert Parker)
Before the match the French-Canadians sing the Canadian national anthem. The French-Canadians jump arm and beat on him in and out of the ring for a bit; the aggression is pretty awesome as they are just beating the shit out of Arn, and Arn’s selling is on point. He is bumping and selling like a god. This is legit domination. After getting his ass kicked for like 4 minutes Arn. Arn hits a desperation headbutt and tags Mongo in who cleans house first by hitting the pounce before throwing both men around with ease. Parker tosses the flagpole to Oulette, but the ref catches him which allows Debra to hand Mongo the case and he hits Jacques with it for the win. This was so much fun. **1/2

FUCK YOU LEE MARSHELL AND YOUR FUCKBOY HAIR; NO ONE GIVES A FUCK IF YOU ARE IN MEMPHIS. SUCKING DICK! YOUR Weasel jokes are terrible and no one likes you.

WCW World Tag Team Championships: The Outsiders (w/Syxx) vs. The Extreme
I have no idea who the Extreme are and nor do I give a fuck, this is a total squash as Hall and Nash hit their signature stuff, before Hall hits the Outsiders Edge for the win.

Joe Gomez vs. Taskmaster (w/Jimmy Hart)
More death to debuting jobbers, Sullivan is pissed so he doesn’t even make the match go a minute for throws a chair at Gomez and ends him with the DOUBLE STOMP!

Hollywood Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Liz the QUEEN! Before sending Liz to the back BOOOOOOOOO! Eric gets on the mic and begins putting Hogan over, he says he has shown him more than he can ever dream about in wrestling :lmao Eric is now listing Hogan moves of doom :lmao he moves on to the losers Hogan has beaten since he’s become champ. Hogan talks about his gameplan and moves before talking about his new movie "Shadow Soldiers" We spot Sting and Randy Savage in the upper deck, Anyways back to what Hulk was saying, he’s going to take on the Giant tonight and then he’ll give everybody a posing expedition. Well, Bischoff is excited. Bischoff reminds Savage that he’s out of WCW, but he can work for the nWo. Have his people call Eric’s people – they’ll have lunch. More hype about Hogan saying he can’t wait to beat the giant again tonight.

Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko
Jerry Flynn, seriously Jerry Flynn really, Jerry FUCKIN’ Flynn who comes up with this shit :lmao Was Jerry Lynn busy? Flynn shows off some kicks he can do, Malenko fights back and cranks on a knee. Flynn tries more kicks, but he kicks one too many times as Malenko catches a leg and ducks a mule kick to easily slap on the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF for the win.

Schiavone, Tenay & Heenan are talking about the Giant/Hogan match. Suddenly, a cop delivers a note to Schiavone. It’s from the offices of WCW. Schaivone reads it to the crowd. The WCW Championship committee announces that because of Hogan's conduct, he has to defend the WCW Title at SuperBrawl against Roddy Piper. YAY!!!

Hugh Morrus vs. Chris Benoit (w/Woman)
Good brawl to start, until Morrus delivers a guerrilla press slam but Benoit comesback with a clothesline before resorting to fighting a bit dirty to get ahead. Morrus catches him with a powerslam, but misses the moonsault. But on the outside, a "fan" AKA THAT PHX named Jacqueline but at this point she’s just a fan, confronts Woman. Kevin Sullivan slams a chair over Benoit's head and Hugh Morrus hits No Laughing Matter for the win. Good angle advancement match; wish it would have gotten more time. Post-match: "Mean Gene" Okerlund interviews Taskmaster about who this woman is. Taskmaster tells Gene to mind his own business about who she is. Jimmy Hart tells Sullivan that women in WCW are bad news and he needs to get away. Jacqueline gets on the mic and tells Kevin that once she saw Woman hit him over the head with the wooden chair at the Clash, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Jacqueline takes shots at both Debra and Woman before says she’s here to give Sullivan something Jimmy can’t give him “comfort” **1/2

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The Giant vs. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan (w/Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase & Vincent)
Before the match; Hogan dares both the Giant and Roddy Piper to come down and fight him right now. Hulk and Vincent double-team the Giant to start, once he puts an end to Vincent’s nonsense he begins beating Hogan all around the ring. Vincent again fails to be any help as usual Now Bischoff thinks he can stop the Giant. It doesn’t work. Here comes Scott Hall and Kevin Nash and the match is over. Lex runs down with a WCW Monday Nitro shirt on and stands side by side with the Giant for a standoff with Hall and Nash as we go off the air. Schiavone asks "WHOS SIDE IS HE ON?!" :lmao this fuckin’ guy.
 

Crippler

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WCW Monday Night Nitro
February 3rd, 1997
Memphis, Tennessee

World Champion: Hollywood Hogan
United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero
World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders
World Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal
Cruiserweight Champion: Dean Malenko
Women’s Champion: I think they have one of these IDK

Hollywood Hogan, Ted DiBiase, and Vincent come down to the ring and after minutes of posing Hogan gets on the mic. Zbyszko calls it the shovel :lmao Hogan says he’s on a mission from god before saying he put together the Time Warner/Turner merger :lmao He moves on about Roddy Piper and says Piper is ducking him and him being a man of his word and if Piper is here tonight he will confront him tonight. He keeps saying he goes to Ted & Vince for their decisions :lmao and from the moment he gets here he will embarrass Piper.

Ray Mendoza Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono)
Good Lucha mat wrestling to start tons of flips until Dragon hits a shitty back elbow but makes up for it with a suicide dive. Back in, Dragon gets a few shots in but Ray comes back with super aggressive midget strikes. Awesome spot, with Dragon tries to roll past a leapfrog, but Mendoza doesn’t have much a vertical leap and comes down on him. Quick headscissors in the ring sets up the DRAGONSTEINER from the top turnbuckle. Dragon finishes him with the Dragon Suplex with the bridge for the win. Good action as it wasn’t just a total short squash. **1/2 - **3/4

Glacier vs. Billy Kidman
Fuck off and DIE Glacier and fuckin’ you Kidman. You know if Kidman didn’t marry Miss Wilson I would probably be a fan, but seeing how this geek got to have sex with her and I’ve never met him. SO FUCK HIM. Glacier looks extra mortal kombat fake tonight. Match is pretty much Glacier doing kickz and no selling for two minutes. SO NO!

nWo Paid advert; BUY THE NEW DEMIN JACKET FOR THE LOW PRICE OF $80

La Parka vs. Ice Train (w/Fat, Fat, Fat Teddy Long)
This was pretty bad I love La Parka but only when he’s murdering himself because he’s attempting to murder small Mexican wrestling. But putting him in the ring with a big black dude, with the black guy beating him up is useless and accomplishes nothing. At one point; La Parka flies into a front powerslam. Then midway during the match we go backstage to see the Outsiders with lead pipes in their hands standing over a downed Lex Luger. Anyway, we return just in time to see Ice Train hit a standing Frog Splash for the win. *3/4

Time for another edition of "Mean Gene" Okerlund interviewing the Four Horsemen (on a side note shouldn’t we go backstage and see if Lex is okay) NEVERMIND FLAIR IS HERE! But Arn isn’t :( Chris Benoit says after the Clash, he knows exactly who his friends are. Woman tells Jacqueline that she’s got her leftovers :lmao Mongo gets on the mic and Memphis begins to boo. Anytime Benoit and Flair needs Mongo, just let him know. He announces that if it’s okay with the powers that be, he wants to take Lex Luger’s place tonight so he can get his hands on Jeff Jarrett tonight. Debra talks about how perfect she is and makes an ugly jokes directed at Miss Jacqueline. Ric says Arn is layed up in a bed NOOOOOOOOOO! He call out Kevin Sullivan. Flair says he couldn’t handle Woman, so he let the better man Chris Benoit take over (does that mean we have Flair to blame for everything?) He also informs Jackie that nobody with a boyfriend named “Shorty” can walk next to the NATCHA BOY! WOO! :lmao :lmao

The Steiner vs. Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri)
Before the match a Replay is shown of last week where the Steiner’s had to give up the tag belts they stole. Faces of Fear and Public Enemy are randomly just chilling in the front row :lmao what are they not allowed in the locker room? Booker/Scotty starts its shirt but alright; about a minute later Stevie Ray punches Rick’s head gear off :lmao sadly Rick isn’t drunk like he was so he’s not botching and randomly mistiming stuff. Scott debuts the Steiner Recliner but for now it’s just known as a random submission hold. Meanwhile, Rick gets his head gear back on and tags back in only to get drilled with an atomic drop. Harlem begin to isolate Rick for a bit, it was very short and really didn’t do much. Scotty gets the hot tag and cleans house cleans house on Stevie Ray and hits the Butterfly Slam for two. With everybody in the ring, the Faces of Fear and Public Enemy jump inside as well for the big no-contest finish. LOLWAT! Harlem Heat and the Steiner’ beat Public Enemy and the Faces of Fear out of the ring, who goes brawling all the way backstage. LOLWAT!

Dean Malenko vs. Mike Enos
So WCW is booked is Blue it’s not even funny; look this got 7 minutes and I’m happy to see Dean this long. But why is this Enos bum getting to dominate for 5 of those minutes. I don't get why; Dean finally gets in control with a variety of armbars on Enos, preventing him from using them for the Lariat later. This all continues until we see Syxx walking through the crowd and over the rail. Since he couldn’t keep the US title, now he’s stealing the Cruiserweight belt (HOW ORIGINAL) and Dean Malenko has NO idea. As Syxx returns back through the crowd, Enos manages to avoid the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF. However, Malenko outsmarts Enos by countering a suplex into a small package for the win. Post-Match: Malenko is confused on where his title is and Penzer tells him Syxx stole it. **1/2

Fuck you Lee Marshall, why do you still have a job? No one cares that you are in that suckhole that is Jacksonville, Florida eating mens' asses at Nitro parties. More Heenan jokes that no one but blueberry Tenay fake laughs at, Heenan’s comeback was better.

"Mean Gene" Okerlund is standing alongside Kevin Sullivan, Konnan, Miss Jacqueline, and Jimmy Hart. Okerlund tries to bring up the past about he and Jacqueline, Sullivan says when he was down he forgot where his strength was. Well she’s back, he calls her darkness to his light :lmao Jimmy says he hates women in wrestling and he’s here to get to the bottom of this. Konnan says some shit; I think he says he wants to get rid of Benoit so Sullivan can have time for Jacqueline. Jacqueline says she doesn’t need plastic surgery like Debra to have a body like this, SHOTS FIRED! She then says when Woman was on the road she was road she was at home with Sullivan SHOTS FUCKIN’ FIRED!!! And If she sticks her nose in Jackie’s business, she will BEAT her like she stole something. Dungeon of doom clearly won this week’s interviews imo.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Renegade
SELF HIGH FIVE! So according to Tenay and Schiavone DDP's ego is bruised because he used to manage Scott Hall and team with Kevin Nash and he thought he would've been one of the first recruits for the nWo, and the reason he didn't join them was because they offered six months too late. Makes a lot of sense. This is short and straight to the point; Renegade does some stuff but doesn’t see the Diamond Cutter ‘cause it’s out of nowhere. Post-Match: Nash & Hall creep out and stand at the top of the ramp with their lead pipes, daring DDP to come up and try to get past them. Since he won’t come to them, the Outsiders start walking towards DDP. BUT WAIT! Sting and Randy Savage are watching on from the stands. We have a standoff as DDP arms himself with a chair. Nothing happens though as the Outsiders see Sting and Savage and decide to leave Page alone. DDP looks completely baffled in the ring as we go to break.

Super Calo vs. Alex Wright
Another match between wrestlers no one gives a fuck about gets time.

Chris Benoit (w/Woman) vs. Konnan (w/Jimmy Hart)
Konnan jumps Benoit at the bell and hits the Rolling Lariat, he begins wearing out Benoit with a series of holds. Benoit's downed and sells the neck & back magnificently, still selling from the wooden chair shots from Sullivan. Benoit manages to comeback with vicious chops and a superplex to follow. Konnan ducks a clothesline and delivers, splash mountain for two. He tries another, but Benoit slips away and drills Konnan with a Release German Suplex. Benoit threatens Konnan with the DRAGON SUPLEX as Jacqueline heads down to ringside to well, threaten Woman with her leather strap. Meanwhile, Benoit heaves Konnan over the top rope to lose via DQ as Jimmy Hart heads up on the apron only to get knocked down. Benoit heads out and takes the strap away from Jacqueline, who then begins to look under the ring for a weapon of some kind. Jimmy Hart & Konnan stop her and take her away before anything even happens. **3/4

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Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve “Mongo” McMichael (w/Debra)
Crowd pops early on for the Jarrett Strut but Mongo attacks before he can finish. Memphis is hot for Jarrett. Jarrett's getting his ass kicked by Mongo with power moves. Surprise lariat by Jarrett followed by a cross body for a near fall. Mongo falls to the outside at one point and Debra tells him to stop fighting Jarrett, so she gets him counted out :lmao This marks the first time in the HISTORY of our sport where a wrestler has lost by countout because a woman held him back, says Tenay.

"Mean Gene" Okerlund welcomes for the first time since December 30th, 1996 ROWDY RODDY PIPER! He’s got his little boy with him now though. Surely the nWo won’t come out now 8D Piper gets the cheap pop by saying he’ll never be Elvis Presley, while Hulk Hogan will never be Roddy Piper. Piper introduces his son Colt and makes him son suck up with a cheap pop, before saying he’s already beat Hogan. Why does he even need to wrestle Hogan in another match? He’s got nothing to prove by beating Hogan again, so he turns down the title shot. Hollywood Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase, and Vincent come down and Piper refuses to have his kid taken from the ring, what a guy. Hogan and Bischoff start crowding around Piper and his son, Piper asks Terry to just leave him alone and let him go home with his kid. Hogan mocks him. He tells Piper to drop to his knees and beg for mercy. Hogan mocks Piper more and more. Bischoff busts a gut laughing over that one. Just so that nothing bad will happen, Hogan and Bischoff scare Piper into telling everyone that Hollywood Hogan beat him like a drum at Starrcade. Hogan even gets Piper to admit that he is the ICON of wrestling as well. He continues on to say that the only way Piper would talk eye-to-eye with Hogan is by hiding behind his little son. OH MAN! As Piper and his son start to leave, Hogan even slaps him in the back of the head a couple times. SUDDENLY THE FUCKIN’ TAPE CUTES OUT AND COMESBACK WITH PIPER BEATING UP Hogan and Bischoff DA FUCK!!!!!! During the brawl, Piper gets the title belt and scares everybody away as he holds the WCW world title over his head; he accepts the title shot at Superbrawl after all. THAT WAS PRETTY AWESOME!
 

Chris

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I remember that Hogan/Piper match at SuperBrawl being pretty bad.