The pyro spews through out the arena as the fans cheer like crazy as they are cheering. Signs are shown through out the arena, and The fans are excited. We take you the legendary commentary crew of Jim Ross and Roddy Piper.
JR: Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to another heart-pounding edition of Monday Night Raw. I'm alongside my tired and true partner, the Hot Rod Roddy Rowdy Piper, and let me tell you, I love the King, but its good to have you back.
Piper: Aww shucks JR, you are going to make me blush. No one calls matches in the UWF like yours truly, and what a week its been since. A new Global Champion has been crowned on Velocity of all things and if you didn't read it I'm going to hunt you down and chop your balls off.
JR: We also know who has what briefcase after the rags to riches match and the bulldozer Umaga plans on challenging new Champion Seth Rollins for the Global Title at Unforgiven. But tonight is going to be a very interesting night to say the least. For tonight we have a reunion of sorts in our Main Event as Degeneration X together again prepares for their huge match against Kidd and Edge at Unforgiven.
Piper: We could talk for hours about what has gone on, but like I said, if you haven't been reading you should go kill yourself, seriously, because you are missing the best shit I've ever seen. And tonight we're starting out with the European Championship as General Manager Randy Orton is going to give us an update right here, and right now!
The crowd is ready as Raw begins.
Fans boo like crazy, as Ted Dibiase comes down to the ring with Michael Tarver, the fans boo as Ted seems to stuff some money in the suit Tarver is wearing, and he slides into the ring and he poses as we await for the next guy
Axel goes and he comes out with Ryback, Ryback goes and he rubs his shoulders in excitement as Axel makes his way down the ring, and the fans boo for him as well. Axel get in the ring as the bell rings
Ding...
Ding...
Ding...
Ted Dibiase and Axel lock up as the fans boo as the two men are trying to show off there strength with in each other. Dibiase wins the battle as he shoves Axel to the ground, and Dibiase goes as he flexes which leads to Michael Tarver clapping to the fans. Axel gets up as he and Ted lock up again. Axel though wins the battle as he hits a body slam right onto him. Aexl goes and he poses with Ryback cheering him on the outside waving his hands up and down.
Roddy Piper: Jesus is this a wrestling match? Or a freaking pose off, give me a damn break.
Jim Ross: Oh come on Hot Rod there trying to show dominance over each other.
Dibiase gets up quick as he locks up with Axel once more, and hits a swift arm drag on to Axel. Axel gets up from it, but is met with a nice dropkick by Dibiase. Axel goes as he is leaning against the ropes, and Ted tries to go for a clothes, but Axel ducks under as Dibiase is sent flying to the outside of the ring. Dibiase is down on the outside as Michael Tarver goes and he helps him up. Tarver goes and he checks on Ted making sure his master is okay, and Ted does a shrug showing he is fine. Ted rolls back into the ring and he is met with a clobbering clothesline by Axel. Axel goes for the cover.
1...
2...
No kick out by Dibiase. Axel goes and he picks up Dibiase and he knees him in the face a couple of times. Axel holds onto Dibiase a bit as he goes and hits a gutwrench suplex onto him. Dibiase is now leaning against the ropes as Axel goes charging after him, but Dibiase ducks under, and he sends Axel over the ropes. Axel is on the outside as Ryback now helps him up. Axel goes and he shrugs off that he is fine.
Roddy Piper: Deja Vu... Swear we just saw this happened.
Jim Ross: Both guys care for there partners.
Axel slides into the ring, and Dibiase dosen't charge at him but instead waits for Axel to make the move. Axel goes and shoots at Dibase's legs but Dibiase sprawls the move, and spins around the back of Axel. Dibiase goes and he has a tight grip onto the waist of Axel abnd he lifts him up hitting a suplex onto Axel. We can hear Michael Tarver woo after that move as Ted gets up with a devilish grin on his face waving his arms out as the fans boo him. Dibiase sees that Axel is laying by the turnbuckle sitting down, and Dibiase goes and he puts a face full of boot right in the face of Axel the referee seperates this, and Ted does stop. Ted then picks up Axel and hits a russian leg sweep onto him. Ted goes for the pin.
1..
2...
No kick out by Axel. Ted sits there and he picks up Axel as he looks to throw him shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Ted goes for the move, but Axel reverses pushing Ted into the corner and causing him to bounce off of it, off the rebound Axel goes and he hits a tilt a whirld backbreaker onto Ted which causes the fans to go "ohh" to. Ryback is heard screaming on the outside waving his hands up and down. Axel goes and he points at Ryback, and Ryback says: "Clobber him". Axel backs up as Ted is getting up, and Axel goes for a running kick, but Ted slips away at the last minute. Axel misses and he turns around seeing Dibiase trying to avoid it. Axel looks to clothes line him but Ted dodges again but bumps into the referee. Ted goes and he apologizes to the ref almost distracting him when Tarver all of a sudden goes and he punches Axel right in the face hard.
Jim Ross: What the hell that ain't fair.
Roddy Piper: I thought they were out showing support. Way to back track now hypocrit.
Axel is down as Ted Dibiase goes and he seperates himself from the referee and he walks on over to the down Axel. Ryback jumps on the ropes upset at what he saw in which he starts to yell at the referee calling him blind and stupid at the same time. The ref is telling Ryback to calm down when all of a sudde Michael Tarver goes and he attacks Ryback the fans cheer as the two big men are brawling, and Ted goes as he head to the ropes and he tells Tarver to knock it off when all of a sudden Ted gets rolled up.
1...
2...
3.
No Ted kicks out, Axel charges him but gets caught by Ted. Ted goes and hits the money shot right on Axel. Ted goes for the cover.
1...
2...
3...
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner and advancing in the European title tournament Ted Dibiase Jr.
Ted wins the match as Tarver takes down Ryback. Tarver joins the ring, and he raises the hand of Ted Dibiase. Dibiase goes and shows the title signal saying the title was coming soon. The show goes elsewhere
We head backstage to DX's locker room where, Triple H and HBK are chatting away as HBK looks down
Triple H: What's wrong, Shawn?
HBK: Something is bothering me with what, Trish, said.
Triple H: What, that you don't have it anymore? You're the show stoppa. The headliner. For crying out loud your not only one half of the UWF Tag Team Champions, but you're also the World Champion.
HBK: No it's not really that, that is bothering me.
Triple H: I know, it's her comments about, Umaga. Don't be worried, Shawn, you have overcome the odds before.
HBK: It's not that either. I know I can beat him. I just need to put out a pile of food to distract him and hit sweet chin music.
Triple H: Then what is it?
HBK: She said, "eat it".
Triple H: Well, Shawn, we all know she likes to suck it, so she had no choice, but to cover herself. Wrong choice of words because with those three men, she doesn't cover herself. But you know what I mean.
HBK: I guess beggars cant' be choosers! And I'm sure with, Umaga, she's a beggar!
Triple H: Well I know what will cheer you up. The all new, D-Generation X t-shirt, sleeveless for you and hat and beanie cap.
The two put on their new gear
HBK: Wait, so you're telling me, us as the tag team champions have new gear already?
Triple H: Yes, Shawn and you can get all, DX merchandise online at....
HBK: Hey. that's my line. It says so in this script.
Triple H: Sorry, I thought I'd switch it up.
HBK: You don't just change it on short notice. Now I'm mixed up. Let me read this again. You can buy all new, DX gear on UWFshop.com. Ugh, no flare to it.
Triple H: Oh well, let's go take it out on those chumps tonight.
HBK: And if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya........
Triple H: We all know, Trish does it.
Triple H and HBK: SUCK IT!
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Are the fans going to enjoy the World Title Match at Wrestlemania XXX?
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Cameras seem to be creeping around the backstage area, but at a steady pace. They’re clearly looking for something or someone. The video comes to a corner where Kazarian pops into view.
Frankie Kazarian:
Hey guys, glad you got my text, but I thought I’d give ya the heads up now. My good buddy Christopher Daniels doesn’t seem to be in the best of moods right now. I doubt he’ll want to talk to ya. But I’m here, and I know how he feels about this whole thing. I know you guys want the inside scoop on Chris’s mind, but his is a complex mind, filled with some brilliant thoughts. But his thoughts are clouded by what we both believe to be a farce. This entire tournament is a joke, and everybody shouldn’t be too surprised that this kind of answer is coming up. He was the co-European Champion, and believe it or not, he was proud of that. He was one step closer to possibly getting the kind of respect he deserves around here.
He’s tried, he really has. He tried getting the Gentlemen’s Club going again, but Daniel Bryan wouldn’t have it. In fact, a lot of the so called wrestling fans wouldn’t have it either. Do you know what kind of mental state Chris is in right now? He’s taken it as a personal strike against him for failing to show up. He’s angry at Stephanie McMahon for how she basically stripped the title off of him to only have it vacated. She might like the idea of taking it off Daniel Bryan, but she has no idea what it has done to him. He’s in a room just around the corner, screaming at the wall. He feels as though he’s owed something, even though we all know that’s not true. His mind is a fragile one, but despite all of that, he’s prepared to be a man of his word and work hard to hopefully win that championship back.
That’s kind of why I’m here, to show him some kind of support. I mean, if none of you will support him, just who will?
The camera man asks something that isn’t very audible; Kazarian was kind enough to address what it was.
Listen man, people can go on making any kind of comparison for me and Chris. We’ll always be best buds, and I know people are going to try and get us agitated with each other right away because they know what we are capable of together. But just for fun, who’s Batman, and who’s Robin?
The camera man tells him, a look of minimal annoyance flashes across his face.
Alright, leave, get out of here. We have a game plan to go over.
Austin Aries comes out as the fans cheer for him like crazy, Aries goes and he makes his way down to the ring. Aries goes and he enters the ring so sly and cope as he is excited for the match with Daniels.
Fans give a mix reaction as Daniels makes his way down to the ring. The fans cheer like crazy as Daniels goes and he enters the ring, and the fans are excited to see what he is going to do
Ding...
Ding...
Ding...
Daniel and Aries look at each other as the fans cheer knowing this is going to be one hell of a match. Aries and Daniels don't waste any time, as the two begin to talk attack each other throwing fist of fury at each other, the exchange seems to be won by Daniels as Daniels goes and he begins to kick the legs of Aries. A combination of kicks later Daniels goes for a headkick, but Aries goes and he hits a leg sweep which causes Daniels to fall to the ground. Daniels gets up on his knees as Aries goes and he kicks the chest of Daniels. Aries does the multiple times, and he goes for the heads of Daniels. Though Daniels ducks as Aries goes spinning around, and Daniels go for a roll up.
1...
No Aries kicks out and with that kick out he kicks Daniels square in the head causing Daniels to fall right onto the mat. Aries goes for the cover.
1...
No Daniels kicks out at one. Aries goes and he picks up Daniels as he throws him into the turnbuckle. Aries goes and charges at him, but Daniels lifts his feet up in the air. Daniels goes to the second rope. Aries still stunned gets hit with a flying shoulder. Daniels goes and he bounces off the ropes and Aries who is up goes and catches him with a arm drag. Aries begins to work the arm. Daniels though builds up quick, and he reveres the hold and hits a back suplex on Aries.
Jim Ross: Some great back and forward action here tonight.
Daniels picks up Aries and he throws him into the turnbuckle. Daniels goes charging at him and jumps to the top rope. Daniels starts to land a series of punches as the fans count along with him. Daniels goes as he grabs the head of Aries and hits a frankensteiner onto Aries. Aries is sitting down as Daniels goes bouncing off the ropes and hits dropkick to the face. Daniels goes and he makes the cover.
1...
2...
Daniels goes and he picks up Aries as he puts Aries on his shoulders looking to hit the Death Valley Driver. Aries though goes and he slides off the shoulders, and Daniels turns around getting kicked in the gut. Aries goes and he bounces off the ropes as he clobbers him with a hard clothesline right in the face. Aries goes and he picks up Daniels and he hits him with a swift DDT. Aries goes for the pin.
1...
2...
Daniels kicks out. Aries goes and he picks up Daniels and he goes as he irish whips Daniels. Daniels bounces off the ropes, and he stop as he knees the face of Austin Aries. Aries rebounds as Daniels goes and hits him with a bunch of elbows to the face. Daniels goes and he grabs Aries head hitting a swining neckbreaker onto him. Daniels lies on the floor as the fans cheer like crazy.
Jim Ross: These two men are literally killing each other all for a chance to move on in the European Championship.
Roddy Piper: Damn Vanilla Midgets
Aries and Daniels are both getting up as Aries goes, and he strikes him first.and Daniels strikes back, the fans give mix reactions as they trade blows with each other. The fans are just excited at the two going at it as they are just cheering for the battle between the two men in the middle of that ring. Aries goes for a right, but Daniels ducks, and he goes for an atomic drop. Aries ends up laying on the ropes, as Daniels goes and he hits a spinning discus fist sending him over the top rope. Daniels goes to the apron and he tries for a moonsault, but Aries moves out of the way, and he goes to the apron, and he turns around hitting a crossbody onto Daniels on the outside.
Jim Ross: What a move by Austin Aries!
Aries gets up as the fans cheer as Aries goes and he throws Daniels back into the ring. Aries heads to the top turnbuckle, and Daniels is getting up. Aries goes for the top turnbuckle, and Daniels goes for a dropkick and catches Aries in midair. Daniels goes and he grabs Aries and puts him on his shoulders. Daniels screams as he goes, and he hits a death valley driver right into the middle of the ring. The fans cheer as Daniels goes for the cover.
1...
2...
No Austin Aries kicks out. Aries is getting up and Daniels goes and he hits swift kicks too him a bunch of times. Daniels goes for an enziguri right to the face of Aries, but Aries cathes the leg., and he grabs the other leg of Daniels. Daniels seems like he is going to go for the hurricurana, the fans cheer, but as Daniels is hanging down. Aries goes and lifts him up hitting a powerbomb onto him as the fans cheer like crazy, but what we see is Daniels absorb the blow and lock in the Goji clutch.
Jim Ross: Goji clutch by Daniels.
Roddy Piper: Gotta say decent move.
Aries is stuck in the goji clutch as we can see he is pain, Daniels though is grimacing over the pain of the power bomb, the fans are cheering as we see Aries is building up, Aries knowing he is in the middle of the ring goes and he lifts Daniels up, and he hits the rampage bomb right onto him as the hold is breaked up. Aries though dosen't waste anytime as he goes and stands over him as he spins his arm around hitting the pendelum. Aries goes as he goes for the cover.
1...
2...
No Daniels kicks out as Aries is in disbelie. Aries goes and he smiles as he awaits for Daniels to gets up, Daniels is getting up, and Aries kicks the gut of Daniels and he grabs the head of Daniels as he raises it up high in the sky. The fans cheer as Aries is setting up the trademark move the brainbuster. Daniels though kicks his feet in the air causing Aries to lose his balance. Daniels goes as he lands on his feet and he flips Aries over, and hooks his arms hitting the angel wings right onto Aries. The fans cheer like crazy as Daniels goes and flips Aries over for the pin.
1...
2...
No Aries kicks out. The fans are in disbelief as Daniels had his best move get kicked out of. Daniels decides to point at the top turnbuckle as the fans cheer like crazy knowing that Daniels is going to go for his best move the best moonsault ever. Daniels goes as he double jumps twice and he goes for the best moonsault ever. Daniels does this, but Aries goes and he rolls out of the way. Aries goes as he enziguris Daniels. Aries then goes and he picks up Daniels, and puts him into a torture rack. The fans cheer as Aries goes and he hits Daniels with two knees in the gut. Daniels is down, but Aries wastes no time, and he grabs the head of Daniels. Aries lifts him high in the sky and hits him with the brain buster right onto Aries. Aries goes for the cover.
Jim Ross: He won the UWF Championship with that move.
1...
2...
3.
No kick out by Daniels
Jim Ross: Bah Gawd!
Roddy Piper: 4 out of 10.
Aries looks on as he shows his fingers to the referee and he says three, but the referee fires back at him giving him a giant 2. Aries can't believe it as he just looks on in disbelief, Aries though goes picks up the limping Christopher Daniels. Daniels is barely on his feet, and Aries goes and he speaks: "You're not better then me... I am THE GREATEST MAN TO EVE..." all of a sudden Daniels goes and he slaps Aries as Aries turns around and he looks pissed at Daniels. Aries charges at Daniels but gets caught into the Last Rites. Aries is laid out in the middle of the ring as Daniels does the double jump and he hits the best moonsault ever. The fans cheer like crazy as Daniels goes and he recovers from hitting the move, Daniels goes and he makes the cover.
1...
2...
3.
No kick out by Aries. Daniels is in utter shock that Aries kicked out of two of his deadliest moves, Daniels goes and he measures Aries up. Daniels goes and he kicks Aries straight in the gut and he hooks the arms of his. Daniels goes and he tries to lift Aries up in the air, as the fans cheer for the Angel wings, but Aries goes and he back drops Daniels. The fans give a mix reaction to the move as Aries goes and he enziguris Daniels right in the face. Daniels is tired as he lays back into the turnbuckle, and Aries goes and he strikes him with a running knee. Aries goes and he puts Daniels onto the top turnbuckle as the fans cheer like Aries goes and he heads up there Aries goes and he lifts Daniels high up into the sky, as the fans cheer like crazy when all of a sudden he drops him with a brain buster from the top rope. The fans go "ohhh" as Aries goes for the cover, and pin.
1...
2...
3...
Justin Roberts: Here is your winner and advancing in the European title tourney Austin Aries
Aries leaves the ring as the fans cheer from the awesome match when all of a sudden
The fans are confused when all of a sudden lights go out, flickering his being heard, sparks are going everywhere and the lights are back on and there is Mankind and Abyss in the middle of that ring. The fans boo like crazy as they go and they attack Christopher Daniels stomping on a man who just puts on a great match for them. Mankind goes and he throws Daniels into Abyss who hits the black hole slam. Daniels is down, but all of a sudden out comes Kaz with a chair in his hand. The fans cheer like crazy as Kaz comes out with a chair as the Asylum flee. Kaz is calling for trainers, as we move onto the next segment
Seth Rollins is seen backstage sitting down with his Global Championship, he takes a deep breath as he speaks.
Seth Rollins:
Week after week, I await a response. I await destiny but I think I've triggered something so deep that he truly knows deep down that he cannot find a way to succeed. He wanted me, he wanted this Championship but little does he know how much I've poured my heart into this business to be the Champion I am today. Little does Umaga know that tonight when I take on Drew McIntyre that I will eliminate him of all competition. Little does Umaga know that tonight is the night I send out a message; stronger than ever that I am ready. I've always been ready, I've always been prepared for such tasks and I always, always find a way to overcome these outlandish things that are thrown at me. Every day... Every moment I've had here... It hasn't been necessarily the outcome I've wanted it to be; the arrival... the war... it never ends does it? It's ongoing, for once... I'd appreciate it if it stopped... but what exactly is "STOP"? The word means nothing to me, there's no stopping... it's all GO GO GO! Ever since I was a little boy... I know you've heard this story... but for onc-
Suddenly Seth stops speaking, he gets up and punches the camera man before turning the camera off... however the sound is still heard as we hear footsteps... soon enough we see Seth Rollins in another location, unknown; the camera is then switched back on as Seth Rollins has his back turned as we see him near the entrance stage.
The spotlight is shining on him.
Seth Rollins:
For once... I really am the "Dark Angel"; for once I finally believe in everything I've done. It all comes together, all I asked for was peace but simply... We know that cannot happen. We know every since my arrival, all the alignments... We all know I don't speak to Jimmy Jacobs; we all know that Roman Reigns is aligned with me currently and that Dean Ambrose is a littttttttttle confused with his direction. Trying to refuse me and such, but the time is near. The ARMAGEDDON is near, the day of light will soon fade and be never seen again. For I will rise like never before; as your "Dark Angel". The world will soon be able to see the light turn into dark, the dark turn into what I'd like to call... A Rapture. But it is that time that draws nearer every second; the world isn't what it seems for each and every single one of us... but I assure you, when I'm alone... when I'm alone like I am; I will continue to be the "Dark Angel"; but "The Shield" still breathes strong... but soon there will be a force; a force so strong that nobody will see it coming; a force that is inside of me... I know I've said to Umaga that he better prepare, but I mean it... you've been hiding in the shadows for too long... but I haven't trapped you... yet. Where are you Umaga? Are you afraid? Your time is up... I know this, you know this... The moon will be full soon, but it will be captivated in red... TELL YOURSE-
The camera cuts out once again as the titantron comes to life as we see this image, soon we see the grave come up in writing in red... the writing says U M A G A
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Will Hulk Hogan guest hosting Wrestlemania save the show?
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We come back from commercial as the ring is clad in red plaid, all set up for Piper's Pit. Then, we hear the theme music for Roddy Piper.
Piper: Well, JR, I'm up. It's time to talk to that little gremlin Daniel Bryan!
JR: Oh geez, this won't be pretty.
Piper takes off his headset and picks up a microphone from the ringside area. He then walks up to the steel steps as the crowd heavily boos him. He smiles at this before walking up the steps and entering the ring. As the music dies down, Piper gets into Piper's Pit mode and begins speaking.
Roddy Piper: Alright, I want all of you fat, burn-out lazy bastards to sit down, shut up and show me a little respect but, truth be told, I didn't have to grace you with the single greatest talk show segment in professional wrestling history but here I am. I didn't have to even have the guest that I have tonight. I could've had anybody I wanted but no, I decided that I needed to do what was best.....for business. So, welcome to Piper's Pit, mother fuckers! Now, my guest tonight is the most overrated hack in our business today, a puny, scrawny little punk who can't handle a little ding, who's going to get his neck wrung by Damien Sandow at Unforgiven. That's enough of an intro, that's more than he deserves. So, Daniel Bryan, get your bearded-ass out here and face me like a man. I've got a bone to pick with you.
Piper then lowers his microphone and glares at the stage, waiting on the former European Champion. He doesn't have to wait long, and neither do the fans.
5....4....3....2....1....
The boos for Piper quickly turn to cheers for Daniel Bryan as "The Final Countdown" by Europe begins to play over the loudspeakers. After a few bars of music, Bryan emerges form the back with a stern look on his face.
JR: There he is, folks. The "Washington Bearded Dragon" Daniel Bryan and he doesn't look too pleased with my colleague Roddy Piper's words.
The crowd begins chanting "YES!" over and over, like a mantra, as Bryan calmly walks towards the ring, never taking his eyes off of the smug Piper. As he reaches the ring, he walks up the steel steps and enters the ring. Bryan picks up a microphone from a nearby chair in the ring and cuts his own music off.
Daniel Bryan: Wow.....I'm really here on Piper's Pit. The legendary, infamous Piper's Pit. The same show where you set off a fire extinguisher in Morton Downey Jr.'s face. The same show where Andre the Giant ripped the cross necklace right off of Hulk Hogan. The same show where you grabbed a coconut and cracked Jimmy Snuka right on the head with it. So many great moments on this show......but that was in the past. What's also in the past, Roddy, is you. Just like people like Stephanie McMahon. Just like people like Dean Ambrose. Just like people like Damien Sandow. Dean likes to throw out the fact that he's been a 4-time World Heavyweight Champion and that he's beaten me in the past as proof that he's better than me but he's not. Damien Sandow likes to throw out that he was the leader of Y.E.S. and how he's beaten me in the past as proof that he's better than me but he's not. Stephanie McMahon and you, Roddy. I've had to sit back and listen to the both of you trash me both in a business sense and in a personal sense. Just now, calling me an overrated hack. What exactly is so overrated about me? I know this isn't the Dragon's Lair but please, humor me, Roddy. What do you not like about me?
Piper lifts his microphone but doesn't speak right away, seemingly gathering his thoughts. Then, he speaks.
Roddy Piper: You have got some kind of nerve, ya' little twerp! You come onto my show, Piper's Pit, not Daniel Bryan's Pit, not Bearded Freak's Pit and start flinging around questions and expect me to answer? I don't have to do a damn thing you tell me to do. Instead, I'm gonna take back control of my show-
Bryan interrupts.
Daniel Bryan: How about you shut your big mouth before I knock every single one of your teeth out. The next words out of your mouth better be some brilliant Mark Twain shit because I'll definitely chisel it on your tombstone. Now, when I say you can speak, you can speak. I'm sick and tired of this act that you put on. You continue to trash me and vilify me for no reason. You have no backing to anything that you say about me. Overrated? Hack? How about you step into the ring with me and find out just how much of an overrated hack I am. Piper, let's cut all the bullshit and get down to brass tax here. I want to know why you hate me so much, why you repeat everything that billion dollar whore Stephanie McMahon says about me like a parrot? Are you a puppet, Roddy? Because, the Roddy Piper I knew, who I grew up watching as a kid, the outspoken, opinionated "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, he was all about sticking it to "The Man". He was all about turning the status quo on itself and doing what he wanted to do. What happened? Did your balls drop off? Huh? Are you that desperate for a paycheck? I never thought I'd see the day when "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, of all people, would turn into such a glad-handed, corporate sell-out ass kisser.
That last line really sets Piper off.
Roddy Piper: Just who in the hell do you think you are, huh?
Daniel Bryan: I'll tell you exactly who I am. It's who I've been for a long time. It's who I am today. It's who I'll be 20 and 30 years from now. My name is Daniel Bryan. I'm the guy who can make you tap out in a million different ways. I'm the guy standing right here, in your face, live on Piper's Pit, telling you that, just like anybody else, whether you love me, whether you hate me, whether you think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread or the worst thing since The Holocaust, you can't get rid of me. Say whatever you want about me, drag my name through the dirt all you want, I'll still come out clean on the other side because of who I am. I'm The Best And Most Ruthless Wrestler In The World!
The crowd pops loud, almost deafening. Then, a big "BRYAN! BRYAN! BRYAN!" chant starts up in the arena. Piper then cuts the people off.
Roddy Piper: You know what I don't like about you, Bryan? Fine, I'll humor you. I don't like the fact that you talk a big game but you've got no skill. You're a dog with the biggest bark but little to no bite. You talk about doing what you want and being able to put someone in agony, but I haven't seen it. All you are, in my eyes and in the eyes of the people who matter around here, the people who sign your paychecks, all you are is an unmarketable vanilla midget who has never and will never draw a single dime.
Bryan quickly lifts his microphone back up and appears to be even angrier than before.
Daniel Bryan: That's what you don't understand. That's what this whole damn company doesn't understand. Do you honestly think I do what I do for a measly paycheck? I have wrestled all over the world, whether it be in front of thousands or dozens for a lot less money than I make now and I give the same amount of effort. When I walk into this ring, this becomes my domain. I'm not like The Rock. I'm not using pro wrestling as a stepping stone to a career in Hollywood. I'm not like you, Roddy, just happy sitting at ringside, calling the show, being content watching others come out here and wrestle. I do what I do for the love of the business. I enjoy beating people up. I enjoy making others feel pain. And drawing power? You want to talk about drawing power? Look at the facts, Piper. I sell more merchandise than John Cena and Hulk Hogan combined. How do I know that? Look out into this crowd right now. Do you see any "Rise Above Hate" t-shirts and wristbands? A few but not many. Do you see any "Hulkamania" merchandise? They're few and far between. But take a look around and see for yourself. Merchandise aside, Roddy, what happened when I walked out here? Yes chants. I've never drawn a dime? I believe the only person who has never drawn a dime in this ring is the only one wearing a skirt. But, Piper, you were right about one thing. I do talk a lot and maybe I haven't quite lived up to my own potential. Sure, I was great but Best? No, but look at me in my eyes and know that there isn't any respect, morals or ethics left in there. All I have inside me is rage. Pure, unadulterated rage.
Piper starts laughing as he lifts his mic back up.
Roddy Piper: Are you kidding me, ya little pipsqueak? Do you think you scare me or anybody in the back? Do you think Dean Ambrose or Damien Sandow are afraid of you?
Bryan slaps the microphone right out of Piper's hand and lifts his back up.
Daniel Bryan: They should be. If they're not, they will be. Damien will find out just how fearful he should be of me at Unforgiven when I break every single bone in his body and Dean, well the mere fact that he's been ducking me proves that he is. I saw the look he gave me at the Royal Rumble and it wasn't the look of a confident man. It was a look of desperation. I don't regret my performance in the Royal Rumble, not one bit. I eliminated the most people in that match. My only regret is that I didn't get to that steel chair first because, if I did, a concussion would seem like a luxury to Dean Ambrose. I think I know why you really hate me. I know why you despise me. It's because you're jealous. It's because you were once in my shoes and you couldn't aachieve in your career what I have in mine, and I've done it all within the space of 2 years. If you really want to hate me, Piper, I can give you a reason.
Piper then looks away before shoving Bryan. Bryan stumbles back and laughs before lifting his mic back up.
Daniel Bryan: Don't mess with the Dragon, Roddy, because you'll get its Claws......
Piper then slaps Bryan across the face. He then turns around and goes to walk out. Bryan then prods him further.
Daniel Bryan: How many World Championships have you won, Roddy?
The crowd "OOOO"'s at this. Piper then stops exiting the ring and stands with his back to Bryan. Piper then turns around and charges at Bryan. Bryan ducks a clothesline attempt and rebounds off the ropes. As Piper turns around, Bryan hits him with the running knee!
JR: BAH GAWD! Daniel Bryan just hit Piper with that running knee he's calling the Dragon Claw!
Bryan then looks down at Piper before pointing his index fingers high into the air as the crowd goes crazy with "YES! chants.
Bryan then looks back down at Roddy and uses his boot to scoot him out of the ring and to the mat below. As Bryan is celebrating with the fans......
JR: What in gods name is that?
The crowd boos loudly the grating sound of the car alarm, Bryan turns to the stage confused himself as this ear ache of a theme. After a few moments a man dressed in a white t-shirt, black tie and black pants. He stops at the stage looking around the arena from one side slowly to the other taking it all in before he raises his microphone and his music mercifully cuts off.
My Name is Steven Richards
The crowd boos the moment he starts to speak and he immediately pauses looking at them for a moment before refocusing his attention.
My name is Steven Richards, and I have finally been cleared to make my appearance in UWF. Cleared not by the people in charge for they are part of the problem, but that is a point I shall get to later...because right now I am here not to simply introduce myself to all of you but to stop this display of immoral conduct.
The audience show their disapproval of that statement immediately.
This foul-mouthed, badly groomed, and violent individual has been allowed be on your television screens for far too long. He uses foul language in front of impressionable minds and what may be worse than that is that he is not censored for the people watching on television, which shows that not only is this man morally corrupt, but this company is as well. You have been fired before from other companies for your gratuitous violence, and the fact that you are hired after said actions is yet another sign that we live in a society that not only has accepted this chaos but has embraced it. This man just struck an elder legend of our business, an announcer hired to simply speak his mind...and yet for doing his job, Daniel Bryan has attacked him not only verbally, but physically. What do these actions garner him? suspension? hatred? no it garners all of you people to shout at the top of your lungs Yes! Yes! Yes!
The crowd begin chanting Yes in response and Steven almost looks sick to his stomach.
Well I am here to say to you Daniel Bryan, No More! and I am not here alone.
Steven turns around and out comes a man dressed just like him.
JR: What is this all about, and now he's got company...look at the size of this man.
I introduce to all of you, Mr. Bull Buchanan. A man, who like myself, was lost. A man, who like myself, thrived in the chaos ridden world you all live in today. And a man, who just like myself, has been shown the Right path. We were both changed a long time ago, and we have both been waiting to be told it is time for us to come to this company and begin our crusade. Well we have been approved, our teachings have ended and now we are here to spread that message, because we know that it's what's right...we know that it is best...and we know that if you simply listen to our message you will see it too. Let us speak to you about our savior, and perhaps you too...can be saved...
The crowds boos simply grow louder
JR: You've got to be kidding me, Damien Sandow is this so called savior.
Damien walks out in between the two similarly dressed men, Steven with a giant smile on his face as he stares up at Sandow while Bull nods his head in approval both men applauding their savior. Sandow looks around for a moment before he is handed the microphone.
Damien Sandow:
Allow me to beg your indulgence for one moment, My name is Damien Sandow...and We are here to help all of you. All of you but one, Mr. Bryan. Because I learned a while ago that while all Can be saved, not all will allow themselves to be. I can open eyes, I can shine enlightenment into the darkness...However all of you simply hide in the shadows underneath the garbage and filth you have coated this world with. I learned that my benevolence hinders my goal, my composure slows my progression, and that is when I went in search of people who can not only spread my message but be willing to Stop all the indecencies of this world while I show them the right way. I can only show you the light, but these two gentleman shall make sure to hide away the darkness around you with selective censorship. And I chose these two men to show all of you that anyone can be saved, if a man who was so lost he needed to imitate other wrestlers until he was too psychotically off to be of any use of this industry like the former Stevie...and if a man who was simply known as a follower from being a man who enjoyed excessive violence with the Big Boss Man to following John Cena around as B-2 like Mr. Buchanan...if these two men can be molded in my image just imagine what I can do for all of you.
Sandow looks at both his new followers for a moment before he turns towards the ring
But you Mr. Bryan, have decided to not only shun my help but to question it's very reason. It is rather appropriate for our skirmish to end at Unforgiven, for what you have said about me, done to me, and claimed of me since I've attempted to save you should be unforgivable...However Mr. Bryan, once Unforgiven is over You shall be forgiven for your sins. For your penance is coming, but to show you of my great stature I shall remind you that we could easily dispose of you at this very moment. But I shall not sink down to your level, and wait for our match...which reminds me...Apprentice! Do you not have an announcement to make for the viewing audience?
Sandow hands the microphone to Steven, Bryan doesn't look amused and waves them to bring it on if they think it'll be so easy.
Steven Richards:
Ladies and gentleman, if you were to order the UWF Unforgiven Pay-Per-View event we implore you to soundly take into consideration your children. At Unforgiven, in an Unsanctioned match, Mr. Sandows hand has been forced and as such he must make an example of Daniel Bryan. So we ask you all not to judge us for the severity of our actions, but for the strength of our conviction, because at Unforgiven one bad apple shall be removed from the bunch before it ruins it all. And as Mr. Sandow earns his championship opportunity that he deserves, we ask you all to join us, to accept our savior into your own hearts. Because none of you know what is best for you or your children...but Mr. Sandow does...So while you lay down on the mat at Unforgiven Mr. Bryan: Embarrassed, Beaten, and totally defeated I wish to remind you and all of these people that no matter how much you think the contrary...It is all...For your own Good.
Bryan rubs his beard, still standing in the ring with Piper's Pit set up around him. He then lifts his microphone back up and addresses Sandow and his new followers.
Daniel Bryan: Well, look what we have here. You know, none of this really shocks me. Damien, you've always needed people to have your back. That much is a given. I mean, granted he was pretty useless himself, at least Mike Knox was a little threatening but this? These guys? Steven Richards and Bull Buchanan? Damien, you're really graping at straws here, trying to find anyone who will have your back and dig you out of the hole you've dug yourself into. These two won't be able to save you from what is going to happen at Unforgiven. I've made myself perfectly clear over the past few weeks and I've made myself clear here tonight. I'm not afraid of anything or anyone. If it's a fight that you want, we don't have to wait until Unforgiven. We can just get your ass kicking over early and if you two cronies want to end up in hospital beds right beside your little "savior", then by all means, follow him like good little lapdogs to this ring and I'll kick each and every one of your fucking heads in!
Bryan then drops his mic and takes off his shirt and starts screaming at the group on the stage "COME ON!" Bull walks a few steps forward but Sandow places a hand over his chest and stops him. Sandow then looks over to Steven and they both nod. Then, all 3 of them turn and walk towards the back, all the while being showered by boos.
JR: Oh now Damien Sandow has come down with a case of the limber tail and is running away with his new "team" or whatever you wanna call it. He may have lived to fight another day but Unforgiven is just right around the corner!
Bryan looks pissed in the ring as we cut to a commercial break.
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In a world full of winners and losers, two men have risen above to bring you...
The titantron flashes to life as the capacity crowd at UWF Raw goes absolutely bananas for the greatest team in the history of all teams, wrestling or otherwise. The Miz and John Morrison sit in the classic THE DIRT SHEET set, and waste no time in bringing the most terrific segment ever back to their hundreds of billions of fans all over the universe.
Morrison: Hi. I'm John Morrison, and I have an automatic pencil with a lead that never breaks, works in space, and writes in three shades of ink.
Miz: And I'm your chick magnet, The Miz, and we are extraordinarily ecstatic to once again bring THE DIRT SHEET to all of our fans, new and old. This is the UWF debut of our programme and, well, we're just really thrilled, aren't we John?
Morrison: The last time I was this stoked about something, I had just done one-handed push-ups for 17 hours straight with blinking once.
Miz: So you know its a big deal. The media world has been buzzing all week with great stories - with the Oscars this past Sunday, Matthew McConaughey's inspiring victory speech, The Ukranians finally landing on the moon, Cher's admission to being the Queen of all Wicca - but no story so intriguing as the UWF European Championship Tournament, where eight men have set out to claim the vacant title. As many of you know, the first round took place on last week's edition of Raw. The returning starr, Austin Aries defeated the Bray Wyatt in the first match. Bray, we all know that under that beard is a face full of scars - so enjoy your precious freedom while it lasts because Hart and Cole are gonna take you down. Next, spoiled rich slave-owner defeated our old amigo Bubba Ray Dudley, while Christopher Daniels beat the, uh... frenchman?... Drew McIntyre. Finally, I valiantly conquered the hideous inbred Curtis Axel to join the others in the semi-finals.
Morrison: Except for... well... uh...
Miz: What is it John?
Morrison: You didn't... win... at all..
Miz: Are you kidding me? Did you hear our pre-match untelevised trash-talk banter? I clearly out-articulated and more aggressively insulted that tool. I think I even used more words than him, but not in a "showing off" sort of way, just in a "I know more words than he does" sort of way.
Morrison: I guess it just wasn't your night, man. Sorry.
Miz: Sorry doesn't cut. How could I lose to that jabronie? How come I don't remember any of it? And where were you?
Morrison: Let's just say Tibetan opium answers all of those questions.
Miz: Well... well... it seems the UWF might need more stringent anti-doping policies to protect their top talents - namely, me - from becoming victims of unfair match-ups... like... like ones where I'm hallucinating the whole time.
Morrison: Noted. Is there anything I can do to help cheer you up?
Miz: I think I'll feel better if we just rundown the rest of this tournament and its participants. Ya know, give the UWF fans a closer glimpse into then men competing for the European Championship of Europe and the rest of the world.
Morrison: Maybe along the way we can find clarity as to why we're never booked in tag team bouts or why the most boring people of all time keep getting tag team title matches.
Miz: Don't get your hopes up. Anyway, let's begin. Starting at the start, we have Austin Arries. Contrary to popular belief, Aries did not spend his recent time away from the organization working as a waiter / entertainer in a sleazy space-pirate themed cross-dresser club in Green Bay. It was actually just regular pirate themed. Soooo.... yeah. Anyway, apparently this chump used to be a big deal, and he has been on fire ever since his return. Don't let those tattoos fool you - they may look like they were picked out by a dyslexic ten year old with an early onset anime fetish, but they were actually selected by a grown man with a bad hair cut - one who also happens to be our favourite to win this whole thing.
Morrison: Arriess will be taking on Christopher Daniels, formerly one half of the European Champion - known to some as Christopher Danielson, Christopher Daniel Bryan, Bryan Christopher (although that got confusing), or Gotenks. The American Dragon may have cut off this dead weight a month ago, but it has by no means died or even gone away, as some might have hoped or expected. No, the Fallen Angel has been skulking around the midcard ever since, just waiting for a chance to reclaim the belt he once half-held. Now he's closer than. Yes, his head is too big for his body, and yes, he does look eerily like a crash test dummy. So no, I don't like him.
Miz: On the other half of the bracket we have Ted DiBiase Jr. - well known member of that more subtle group of American Aryan nation types like the bad guy in the second season of Sons of Anarchy. He even has himself a "sidekick" just like daddy to remind this great nation about that traditional southern "pecking order". Sweet lemonade indeed, Ted, sweet lemonade indeed. Like the Edmonton Oilers, this kid has spent the last seven years with the promise of "next year being the one he goes big", while people actually just want the one from the 80's back. Not much promising here folks - there are better places to invest that support.
Morrison: And finally, we have Curtis Axel. Another second generation superstar who adopted a company slave name because, well, nobody would buy this guy as "Perfect Jr.", would they? You remember that kid on your high school football team who didn't have the wherewithal to catch or pass the ball, but was really effective when the coach just told him to stand in one place and get in the way. Ya know, like a pylon, or a sack of really dumb potatoes? Well, he grew up to be this guy. Plain, boring, not that good looking, less than average IQ. The kind of person who enjoys spending time with the kind of person who would call themselves "Ryback" - that is to say, roid-junkie douche canoes. The kind of person who might be seen wearing an "affliction" shirt, but when they tell you about it, they consistently mispronounce the word "affliction". The kind of person who thinks "How I Met Your Mother" is comedy genius, and whose dream it is to be on "Wipeout". The kind of person who swallows sunflower seeds, shell and all. The kind of person who still doesn't understand the order the Star Wars films happen in. The kind of person who was only allowed to drink one can of pop a week when they were growing up, so they would save them up for twelve weeks at a time and then invite their only friend to come by for a sleepover and act like it was the biggest deal in the world and then drink all that soda and then wet the bed. The kind of person who puts yogurt on pancakes. The kind of person who at least twice a week puts their shirt on backwards in the morning, and at least once a month goes a whole day without noticing. The kind of person who says "crap" ever. The kind of person who buys things because they are "new and improved". The kind of person who watched the second Alladin without shutting it off half way through. The kind of person who might start a conversation by asking you what your favourite planet is, only because they want to tell you what theirs is, and its never one that's in our solar system. The kind of person who wrote too many poems for girls that involved digital clocks as metaphors, and by too many, I mean any. The kind of person who gets frustrated when things besides coffee are placed on a coffee table. The kind of person who thinks different colours of paint should come in corresponding flavours. The kind of person who doesn't eat their pizza crust. The kind of person who, when you introduce them to another of your friends at a party, will later that night interrupt a conversation by bringing up a tragically outdated inside joke you once shared with them while slightly drunk but that hasn't been mentioned in months and is no longer comedic in any context, just to try and prove something to themselves and everyone else... or something. The kind of person who makes facebook statuses about their dilemmas in purchasing upgrades for their computers, asking for advice that they will receive and then always argue with no matter what. The kind of person who doesn't like Paul Giamatti. That's who this guys is. What a loser.
Miz: So to sum up, whoever wins the European Championship, the fans lose, because none of these guys are very exciting, interesting, or even likeable. WHEN I decide to win the belt from whichever of them has it, and WHEN John and I capture BOTH of the tag team championships, the UWF will have some champions they can be proud of. Until then, it looks like we're stuck with a bunch of us-rip-off tools, geriatrics with sense of humour comparable to Steve-O on a really rough day, and ugh... Canadians in that title scene. But we assure you, the day of reckoning is nigh, for we are the greatest team that ever was and ever will be.
Morrison: Be jealous.
The titantron goes dark as the fans cheer for their heroes.
The bell rings and right before Seth and Drew can tangle in the center of the ring the crowd begins to react mostly negatively. Out from the back and onto the stage comes Umaga and Trish who are here to scout out tonight their opponent in less than 2 weeks at Unforgiven. Rollins turns and begins to yell trash at Umaga, but the distraction costs him, as McIntyre comes from behind and nails the Global Champion in the back. Rollins falls to the mat and McIntyre stomps away hoping to take full advantage of the distraction provided by the number one contender.
JR: Seth Rollins took his eye off the ball as Umaga finally made himself known to Rollins and now it has given McIntyre an opportunity.
Piper: Drew McIntyre is a trying so hard to break out of the undercard JR, and taking down the Global Champion would do that.
Rollins attempts to take refuge underneath the ropes but McIntyre isn’t going to let him get away and continues stomping away at him until the official is forced to pull McIntyre off of him. Rollins slides outside of the ring and stands there for a moment to catch his breath after the repeated cheap shots. McIntyre looks to baseball slide Rollins, but the Global Champion moves out of the way just in the nick of time. McIntyre comes sailing to the outside and lands on his feet, but Rollins is on top of him and manages to nail Drew with a big right hand followed up with a knife edge chop. Rollins grabs McIntyre and throws him head first into the steel ring post before turning around to see Umaga still on stage. Rollins hears the count now at 5 and decides to roll in and back out to refresh it.
JR: There you see Seth Rollins not allowing himself to be distracted a second time and find himself the victim of a count out Hot Rod.
McIntyre has picked himself up off the floor with the help of the barricade and finds himself getting nailed in the back with a clubbing blow from the Global Champion. Rollins wastes no time capitalizing not appreciating McIntyre’s tactics to start out the match and lifts him up before dropping him onto the barricade with a snake eyes! McIntyre gets up dazed and confused and Rollins capitalizes again this time grabbing Drew and whipping him shoulder first right into the steel steps. Rollins screams getting the crowd fired up as he tosses McIntyre into the ring.
Piper: Seth Rollins is a fluke World Champion JR. The Former Champion was screwed out of his belt and now Rollins gets to call himself a two time World Champion in the UWF! Ridiculous!
JR: Seth Rollins is the UWF equivalent of Jeff Hardy. When his head is in the game he is near impossible to stop, but its keeping that head on straight that causes all the issues.
Umaga shouts in his foreign tongue something in hopes of getting Rollins attention. Rollins has climbed up onto the apron now and turns to see what the Samoan wants. Umaga drags his thumb across his throat signaling the end is coming for Rollins sooner rather than later. Rollins does not appear at all intimidated by Umaga instead he calls him out and tells him to get down here and face Rollins like a man. However while Rollins is trying to call out Umaga, McIntyre gets to his feet and lunges towards Rollins on the ropes hoping to nail him with a shoulder to the back. However Rollins sees it coming and attempts to kick McIntyre’s head off, but Drew manages at the last second to pull away. McIntyre cannot however get away from Rollins who spins around and leaps nailing McIntyre in the face with a rope grip roundhouse kick! McIntyre is out on his feet and Rollins leaps up on to the ropes, springboards off of them and comes crashing down on his opponent with a clothesline. Rollins goes for the cover.
1…
2…
3. NO!
McIntyre gets the shoulder up.
Rollins pulls McIntyre to his feet before sending him off of the ropes, at the last second however McIntyre counters and Rollins is no match for the ropes to which he is sent into. McIntyre looks to be in prime position to take the Global Champion’s head off but instead Rollins rolls underneath the clothesline. The crowd are impressed by Rollins quick maneuvering and McIntyre turns around dazed and confused only for Rollins to nail McIntyre in the side of the head with an enziguri! The crowd is going nuts as Rollins stands up and looks down on his opponent, McIntyre gets to his knees and Rollins lashes out with a sharp superkick right to the chin. McIntyre hits the mat!
JR: My god! How many times has was McIntyre just nailed in the head with a boot to the face from Seth Rollin?
Piper: I’m surprised McIntyre even remembers what he had for lunch by now JR.
Rollins is about to go for the cover when he turns and sees Umaga now at ringside staring a hole into Rollins. Rollins points at Umaga, “This is you at Unforgiven!” Somehow McIntyre is getting to his knees again, though he looks loopy, perhaps he does have a concussion as JR said he would, and it is about to get worse. Rollins bounces off the ropes just as Drew gets to his feet. At the moment McIntyre hunches over and Rollins puts his foot on the back of McIntyre’s head and drops him to the mat with a blackout. The crowd pop loudly as McIntyre is down and out, but Rollins isn’t finished. He wants to send a clear message to Umaga, and he climbs the top ropes in an attempt to do just that.
JR: Now what in the world is the Global Champion doing here? Has Seth Rollins lost his mind?
Piper: This is why I hate vanilla midgets JR, instead of just winning the match they always gotta do something incredibly risky and incredibly stupid!
Rollins gets to the top turnbuckle looks at Umaga and leaps, performing a bone jarring 450 splash onto his opponent. The crowd applaud the move of Rollins who at last finally covers McIntyre!
1…
2…
3….
Here is your winner: The UWF Global Champion Seth Rollins!
The crowd approve of Rollins victory as Umaga and Trish watch on from ringside. Trish has a disgusted look on her face at what she has just witnessed.
Piper: You know Seth Rollins said how all of that would be Umaga’s fate at Unforgiven, well I’d love to see Seth Rollins be able to pull any of that off against a monster like Umaga!
JR: Stranger things have happened Hot Rod, just like Seth Rollins winning the belt in the first place!
Rollins is handed the Global Championship and he holds it up towards Umaga. “Come and get it! Let’s go!” Rollins shouts wanting to settle the score with Umaga right here and now. Umaga looks like he is about to do it when Trish grabs the arm of her client and tells him. Not here, not yet! This brings massive heat down on Umaga as the two begin backing themselves up the ramp.
JR: Well at least now we know who wears the pants in this relationship Hot Rod.
Piper: Trish is right in this case JR. She doesn’t want Umaga missing out on his chance to win the Gold at Unforgiven, for if he puts Rollins in a wheelchair the match may not even happen!
Rollins is peeved at Umaga and Trish walking away, but he enjoys his victory with the fans as UWF Raw heads elsewhere.
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Will Daniel Bryan marks get a satisfying ending at Wrestlemania?
I promise never to use this meme again. lol
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Dean Ambrose's music hits and the crowd shows their dismay for the 2014 Royal Rumble winner as he struts down the ring with a smile on his face. He slowly walks around the ring with a pep in his step. He walks over to the announcer and yanks the microphone out of his hands before climbing up the steps and entering the ring.
Ambrose: I'm not here to talk about myself. I've done enough of that in recent weeks. No I came out here today because there's a certain someone in the back making a visit. A certain someone who has something I want. A certain someone who reminds me of myself when I made a transition from being the Hardcore Champion to the World Heavyweight Champion. A certain someone who I've been dying to get my hands on. A certain someone by the name of AJ Styles
The crowd pops for their UWF Champion.
Ambrose: Oh yeah applaud him. He sure is an exciting person to watch. He's been doing stuff that no one else can do for years. Every time we've managed to be in the ring together, someone else gets in the way. I've only had a taste of what AJ could do but I want more. I want to know if he can surprise me with that Pele kick. I want to know if his spiral tap can knock all the wind out of me. I want to know if his kicks are stronger than my punches. I want to know how he does when he can't fly around the ring anymore after I destroy his legs.
The fans boo Ambrose but he just has a sick smile on his face.
Ambrose: AJ relies on his high flying so much that it's a weakness. I know he also does a little move called the calf killer but that won't affect me AJ. Every part of my body is a weapon. You take out my legs, I can still punch you. You take out my arms, I'll start headbutting. I'll bite and claw before I let someone like you beat me at WrestleMania. Hell, you might not even be champion by then.
The crowd boos once again and begins an AJ chant as Ambrose just laughs at them.
Ambrose: Ya' hear that AJ! These people want you! They want to see you come out here and shut me up! These people may want one thing but the question in the back of all their minds is...can you? Can you face your fears an-
The lights go out in the arena when all of a sudden
AJ Styles goes as he makes his way down the ramp. Styles goes and he looks at Dean Ambrose as the fans cheer like crazy for him. Styles has both his UWF Hardcore Championship, and UWF Championship belt over his shoulder. AJ goes and he enters the ring Styles goes and he looks on at Dean Ambrose, with both his UWF, and his Hardcore Championship. Styles goes and he adjusts his belt as he grabs a microphone and he begins to speak
AJ Styles: A Demi-God fears no one Dean, and you know what Dean even though that I would have to defend my belt in a triple threat match at Wrestlemania if you jumped ship.... I would welcome it. I bet you Dean we would double team Cody Rhodes, and MVP to get out of the way just so you and I can go one on one in that match really determine who is the best in this business today.
Fans pop at that as AJ goes and talks again
I would like to know how your moves feel on me as well. I would just like to know what makes Dean Ambrose the most dangerous man here today. I mean Dean looking at your track record it seems that you ruin lives, you end careers, you leave just nothing more then a path of destruction around you and it seems interesting as someone who not too long ago thought his career was over, if I was willing to overcome what you bring to the table.
Fans seem interested as they are silent as Styles goes and he begins to speak towards the Rumble winner
You've done it all here and Dean, and I would love... and I mean LOVE to take you on, and show that I am better then you, and show that I am the best wrestler here in this industry. Dean like I said earlier "Demi Gods" fear nothing what so eve....
Dean Ambrose scoffs at AJ.
Dean Ambrose: There you go again. Using that word. Demi-God. What is it with you people who feel the need to consider themselves a god? Or at least part God for you. What, is AJ Styles simply not enough to beat Dean Ambrose? Have you done what no other has before you and realized there is no way any normal human being can defeat me? Oh but your not normal are you? You're "phenomenal"! You're better than everyone else right? But are you really? You pander to these people and anyone who needs the help of others is weak. It wasn't that long ago that you were a lone wolf, copying my style but you just couldn't handle it without the help of these people.
The crowd is all over Ambrose but he pays no attention and continues on.
Dean Ambrose: But unfortunately that's not all the help you'd get. Either MVP or Cody Rhodes would be joining that match. Cody hated my guts and MVP is everything I hate about people. Of course you two would double team me to get me out of the way but I've overcome worse odds than that before. I've been nearly beaten to death in and out of the ring and yet here I stand before you, the winner of the Royal Rumble. A match that I beat you in. I was one of the top choices to win weeks before the Rumble and that's because everyone knows that they fail in comparison to me. And yet here you are standing before me trying to act like a tough challenge. So tell me something AJ, what makes you different than everyone else? What makes you think you have what everyone else lacks?
AJ goes and he smiles at Dean
AJ Styles: What do I have that everyone lacks? Well Dean how about this ambition. Dean dosen't this other belt over my shoulder seem to glimmer to you? Dosen't this other belt remind you of something... it reminds you of the start of your success here in the UWF. The hardcore championship is what started Dean Ambrose, and what ultimately made Dean Ambrose right? That is what made Dean Ambrose.
AJ goes and he looks on as the camera focuses on the hardcore title. AJ goes and he begins to speak
AJ Styles: I Dean had the ambition to make this hardcore championship something, and I just like you Dean made this Hardcore Championship into something, I also picked up this UWF Championship. I went through the ambition not to long ago that you did. Dean I was once a lone wolf, and I am sorry if you feel like I stole your gimmick, it seems like everyone wants to point that finger at AJ Styles now a days, but I was lost Dean. I felt I had nowhere to go. Alcohol seemed like my only friend, and it was these people who made me see the light, it was these people who brought back the "Phenomenal" A...J...Styles to the fold of things here in the UWF.
Fans cheer as AJ goes and he begins to speak
AJ Styles: Dean call it pandering but the fact of the matter is... I love these people, and hell they love me. They respect everything I do in this industry, and Dean that is why I stand here today as the UWF Champion, and that is why I can stand here today and say you can come join Cody or MVP in that triple threat match. You can come after AJ Styles for the UWF Championship, but whether it is two against the end result is gojng to be the same. The ambition that brought me to dance, will be the one that will lead me to succeed against any one who comes in my way.
AJ and Ambrose look on as the two men stare down each other RAW goes to commercial break as the fans cheer like crazy for this moment.
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Were you expecting a Dean Ambrose meme well if you were
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Fams boo as Undertaker rolls down the ring of his motorcycle as Undertaker rides around the ring to set his bike up in a certain area. Undertaker goes and he gets off his bike, and he enters the ring and he begins to speak
Undertaker: I refuse to do this match here tonight... Stephanie McMahon how dare you try and team me up with my baby brother Kane, how dare you belittle my worth to this company as you put me not only in a tag match with my baby brother, but you have me wrestling John Cena, and Hulk Hogan. Two men who are wrestling for a belt I have never heard of in my damn life. So why should I do this match? What is the point of this there is nothing you can make me do I will not wrestle this match here tonight, these people don't need to see me tonight they aren't even worth my time.
Undertaker is about to leave when all of a sudden
Cena's theme hits the fans cheer like crazy as Cena looks at Undertaker who is looking to leave the ring. The fans cheer like crazy as Cena starts to walk down the ramp when all of a sudden four random dudes look like wearing there wearing NWO shirts start to attack John Cena
Jim Ross: What the hell is this?
All of a sudden we see Cena just get attacked being thrown into the barricade. The fans boo as all of a sudden security comes and the dudes run out and head into the stands, where we see Hulk Hogan in the crowd clapping his hands is Cena is down. Cena is being checked on as Undertaker is laughing at Cena when all of a sudden
Kane makes his way down to the ring looking at his brother the Undertaker as the fans cheer like crazy.
Jim Ross: Business is about to pick up.
Kane goes and he climbs into the ring as Undertaker looks on as he is afraid and Kane goes and he looks at Taker when all of a sudden two mask men enter the ring through the crowd.
Jim Ross: Are these more of Hogan's men?
The two men are dressed up like the mask men at Royal Rumble weeks ago, and they circle around the ring, Undertaker rolls out of the ring as he exits the arena as the two mask men go and attack Kane. One mask men is very big and seems very strong, the other one just seems average as they are just beating down Kane the fans boo as Kane is getting attack. The two mask men feel like they weaken the monster enough as Kane is just laying there. Training staff is looking at Cena, and Undertaker goes on he smiles and we cut away to another segment
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How Triple H sees it
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Ding! Ding! Ding!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentleman, this following contest is set for one fall is your main event of the evening!
Justin Roberts: From San Antino, Texas, weighing in at 223 pounds; he is one half of the UWF Tag Team Champions and the World Heavyweight Champion..... SHAWN MICHAELS!!!!
Shawn Michaels hops onto the stage and his walking down the ramp, posing for the crowd as he goes onto his knees and is about to do his trademark pose on the ramp, but no fireworks pops up. Shawn Michaels turns around to see the problem as Umaga attacks Shawn Michaels from behind!
JR: Oh what the hell is this?!
Piper: Umaga is obviously egar to get this matchup started, JR!
Shawn Michaels and Umaga both study each other as the bell rings to start off the match. Michaels gives a nod to Umaga while maintaining a blank look while Umaga just simply hollars at the top of his lungs and goes after Michaels, Michaels ducking a clothesline and hitting some knife chops to the chest. Umaga yells out loud after every blow to the chest, but then finally no sells a shot as Michaels decides to hit another one, Umaga no sells that as well and shoulder blocks Michaels to the ground. Michaels gets up after that shot but Umaga hits another shoulder block to Michaels, Michaels though falls back to the apron instead. Umaga then goes for a charge but Michaels hits Umaga in the face with a back elbow, then goes to hit a clothesline but Umaga no sells that as well. Michaels is getting annoyed now and kicks Umaga in the gut and hits a chop, Umaga barely fazed from that move. Michaels then goes to body slam Umaga but isn't able to lift him up, Umaga then smacks the back of Micahels which causes Michaels to fall to his knees. Michaels rises back to his feet but Umaga then rams Michaels onto the steel steps!
JR: The bell hasn't even rang yet!
Piper: Haha! I love it! A pre-match beatdown is always fun, JR.
Shawn Michaels is still laying beside the steel steps, his head resting on the steel. Umaga comes running and goes to kick Michael's head into the steps but Michaels moves out of the way, Umaga ending up kicking the steel with his bare foot! Umaga hops away from Michaels as Michaels gets back up and charges towards Umaga, knocking him down to the ground! Umaga nearly crashes onto the security barrier as Michaels hits some stomps to the face of Umaga, then picks him up and rams him face-first onto the steel steps! Umaga falls down hard but Michaels pulls up Umaga again and walks with him around ringside until they reach the announcer's tables, then throws Umaga across the English announcer's table! Roddy Piper is seen smiling as Michaels hops over the table and punches the living crap out of Umaga. There are a bunch of wires under the mess so Michaels ends up pulling Umaga away from the rubble and chucks him over the Spanish announcer's table instead, falling back to ringside! Michaels then grabs a steel chair and walks up to Umaga, about to strike him in the face but Umaga ends up kicking Michaels in the groin!
JR: Oh what a cheap shot from Umaga!
Piper: The match hasn't started yet JR! Anything's legal!
Shawn Michaels falls to his knees while holding onto his groin, dropping the chair to the ground as Umaga gets back up and looks pissed off. The crowd boos as Trish Stratus is seen walking up to Michaels, and tells Umaga to hold onto him. Umaga holds up Michaels behind his back as Trish slaps Michaels across the face, then kicks him in the groin as well! Michael's is unable to take the pain and falls right back to his knees, Trish then hits the Chick Kick to take down Michaels completely! Umaga looks happy (as much as he can be anyways) and brings up Michaels back to his feet, then grabs the chair and hits him square in the forehead! Michaels falls back down to the ground again as Umaga throws the chair to the announcer's table, then grabs the top part of the steel steps and urges Michaels to get back up. Michaels rises back to his feet (not bleeding however), Michaels then turns to face Umaga's direction as Umaga advances towards Michaels. Michaels sees the Samoan Bulldozer coming and hits the drop toe hold onto Umaga, Umaga falling forewards and lands on the steel steps that he's holding onto!
JR: Shawn Michael's just saved himself from being decapited, Roddy!
Piper: That'd be hysterical JR, since that's how Jesus died.
JR: No you're thinking of cruxification, Roddy.
Piper: Apples and Oranges JR, dead's dead!
Shawn Michaels rises back to his feet with the crowd behind behind him, Michaels looking annoyed at Trish Stratus and starts to stalk her across the ringside. Trish is pleading with Michaels not to hurt her but Michaels ends up grabbing the wrist of Trish and starts to lecture her. Trish struggles to break free from Michael's grasp until Edge appears and hits Michaels with the steel chair to the back! Michaels falls to the ground again with Edge and Trish smiling above the World Heavyweight Champion. Michaels is groaning after getting ambushed from the chair. Edge backs away and hits the downed Michaels with the chair some much, much to the pleasure of Trish Stratus. Trish smiles and tells Edge to back off and let Umaga finish the job, Umaga walking up and grabs Shawn Michaels by the hair and slams him onto the steel post. Michaels falls to the ground which causes Umaga to scream out loud, then pulls Michaels by the hair and raises his thumb up. Umaga then goes to strike Michaels with the Samoan Spike but Michaels dodges it and hits the Sweet Chin Music onto the face of Umaga! The crowd pops at Michaels until Edge runs up and Spears Michaels to the ground!
JR: Dammit, tell Edge to leave Michaels be!
Piper: Why should he JR? It's DX's fault that this whole rivarly started!
Edge looks into the crowd with his wicked looking smile and laughs out loud, someone near the barricade tries to throw a piece of wrapper at Edge but misses completely. Umaga struggles to get to feet as Edge picks up Michaels and shoves him back inside the ring, meanwhile Trish helps Umaga enter the ring as well. The bell now rings to officially start off the match.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Umaga takes a second to shake off being kicked in the face as it's now Michaels' turn to struggle to rise up. Shawn has to use the ropes to help himself up but Umaga runs up and knees Michaels in the face, then clubs him in the back. Michaels goes down as Umaga hits some more nasty shots to the face, then headbutts Michaels down for good. Edge and Trish Stratus are having a field day at ringside as Umaga is making quick work of the World Heavyweight Champion. Michaels fights against the force of Umaga and gets up to his feet but Umaga knees Michaels in the gut then throws him onto the turnbuckles, then runs and hits a body avalanche to the corner. Michaels falls to a sitting position by the corner as Umaga runs up to Michaels, hitting a Samoan Wrecking Ball to the head of Michaels, his neck snapping back completely. Michaels falls for good onto the canvas, Umaga walks up and stomps onto the face of the World Heavyweight Champion a couple of times. More boos are heard from the crowd, to which causes Umaga to hollar at them to be quiet.
Piper: I'm not liking Shawn Michael's chances in this match, JR!
JR: Shawn Michaels was assaulted Piper! I can't believe Team Canada would do something like this!
Umaga grabs Shawn Michaels by the hair and stares down into his soul, then mumbles something to him. Michael's waves his arms around and tries to reach for Umaga's face, managing to grab onto it but Umaga just shoves down Michaels to the canvas. Michaels struggles to get to his feet once more but the Samoa Bulldozer runs up and shoulder blocks Shawn Michaels back down to the ground. The fans are booing at Umaga loudly as he is clearly showing his dominance in this matchup, Trish and Edge looking like that they're having a blast at ringside. Shawn Michaels manages to get back to his feet but Umaga rams him to the corner and hits some shoulder thrusts to the gut, then brings Michaels forewards and chucks him in the air, and then follows up with a Samoan Drop! Michaels arches his back after being dropped as Umaga drops and goes for the cover...
1!
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2!
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But no, Shawn Michaels kicks out! Umaga shoots to his feet and stares at the referee, giving him a hard look but Trish advises Umaga to finish off Michaels on the spot. Umaga pulls up Michaels to his feet by the hair, then goes for the Samoan Spike but Michaels ends up kicking Umaga in the gut, then hits a hard chop to the chest! Umaga backs up as Michaels strikes back towards Umaga, then hits the reverse atomic drop! Umaga is hopping around the ring now as Michaels bounces off the ropes and hits the flying forearm smash to the face of Umaga, both men falling to the canvas! Michaels is down as the fans cheer for him to get back up, Michaels lifts his feet and does his signature kip up and lands on his feet! Shawn Michaels is getting pumped up now as he climbs the ropes and points at Edge to back off, then leaps off the ropes and hits the Diving Elbow drop onto Umaga! Umaga is down and Michaels steps to the corner then peers into the crowd, then nods his head as he slams his foot onto the canvas, the crowd knowing what Shawn Michaels is planning!
JR: He's tuning up the band Roddy! By gawd Shawn Michaels may beat Umaga right here!
Piper: Umaga's already been kicked in the face once JR, he won't go down that easily!
Shawn Michaels slams his foot another time onto the ground, then does it a third time as Umaga slowly gets to his feet. Michaels is in full effect now as Umaga stands up and groggily looks towards Michaels. Shawn is finished tuning up the band and hops towards Umaga, and ends up hitting the Sweet Chin Music to the face of Umaga!! Umaga goes down as Shawn Michaels falls onto his knees and then goes for the cover!!
1!
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2!
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3.
BUT EDGE PULLS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING! The referee is mad as hell at Edge, asking him what's the matter with him. Edge doesn't know how to reply back as Triple H comes running and clotheslines Edge to the ground! Triple H goes on his knees and hammers away at the Rated R Superstar until Tyson Kidd attacks The COO of the UWF from behind and hits some shots of his own. The referee is surrounded with Team Canada until Michaels comes down and trades punches with Tyson Kidd. Kidd and Michaels make it to their own part of ringside as the referee has had enough can calls for the bell.
Ladies and gentleman, this contest is officially a NO CONTEST!!
Piper: What?!
JR: Oh come on, Edge had to ruin a good thing!?
Piper: This was all Triple H JR, the referee was cool with Edge until that egotisitc COO stuck his crooked nose in this match!
Tyson Kidd hits some shots to Michaels then rams him onto the security barricade, pinning him there while Natalya comes up and screams in Michael's ear, meanwhile Umaga hops down to ringside while him and Edge double team Triple H. Triple H is thrown inside the ring while Edge and Umaga enters the ring with them. Umaga picks up Triple H and ends up hammering him in the throat with the Samoan Spike, bringing down Triple H for the count while Tyson Kidd ends up chucking Shawn Michaels onto the steel steps! Tyson Kidd has his big grin on his face again as he enters the ring to meet up with the rest of Team Canada and Umaga. Umaga is standing in the ring while Trish Stratus lifts up Triple H onto his feet, Edge then Spears The Game to the ground hard! Umaga feels that his work is done and exits the ring to head out to the back while Natalya throws Shawn Michaels back inside the ring.
Piper: Hah! Shawn Michaels is about to get what he finally deserves!
Shawn Michaels rolls beside Triple H as both members of D-X are layed out now, but Team Canada is enjoying their moment for too long as Natalya grabs the sledgehammer and shoves it inside the ring. Tyson Kidd holds it up and inspects the lead part of it and nods in approval. Triple H sees it and is paranoid on what Tyson Kidd plans to do with it. Edge and Trish hold Triple H behind his back, leaving his body exposed to Tyson Kidd as Kidd runs up and hits the Sledgehammer to the gut of Triple H! Triple H drops to the ground hard as Tyson Kidd holds the sledgehammer up high in the air, the same weapon that Tripe H threatened Team Canada with last week. Triple H is holding onto his stomach now as Tyson Kidd and Natalya brings up Shawn Michaels and holds him behind his back. Shawn Michaels struggles as it's Edge's turn to hold onto the sledgehammer, looks at it and gazes at Shawn Michaels. Michaels shakes his head as Edge runs up and hits the Sledgehammer onto the skull of Shawn Michaels!
JR: Bah gawd he just shattered Shawn Michael's skull into pieces!
Shawn Michaels and Triple H are both down now as the fans are booing at Team Canada loudly. Trish and Natalya are both holding onto the Tag belts that Triple H and Shawn Michaels possess, then they hand it to their men as Edge and Tyson Kidd hold up the belts up high as the final shot of RAW is shown with Team Canada standing tall with DX down for the night.
End of Show!
Credits
Promos- Awesome Trash Talkers
Tag/Euro title tourney matches- Chase
Rollins vs McIntyre- SBS
Main Event/Piecing show- Natlav
Mankind & Abyss. Who the hell is playing them, that video was creepy.
