Re: Smackdown 8/10/12Jeff Jarrett v. Rey Mysterio
The cameras cut to Jarrett as he seems to be on his iphone. He suddenly looks up.
Jeff Jarrett: Sorry, Rey Rey, you lost me at Seattle and beautiful…
The crowd erupts into citywide chorus of hate.
Jeff Jarrett, still playing on his phone: Nah, I got bored so I thought I’d look up like the top ten things about Seattle. Couldn’t find anything, but this one comment that mentions Blow and Hookers! Wait here’s something interesting. Reasons Seattle blows…ironic, huh? Top Three? Most fugly women per capita…hey, get a camera on the moose on the front row over here. And she’s one of the pretty ones! All men here are pussies…big surprise! And #1? Even the gays here dress badly! Ha!!
(in case you think I made that up- 10 reasons Seattle BLOWS :: Seattle Shmeng :: The Mystery of Why Seattle Sucks )
Mysterio is in the ring now and staring a hole through Jarrett who finally puts his phone away.
Jeff Jarrett: So you’re here to save the day, eh, Speedy, the Mexican Mighty Mouse? Well, I think you’re too late! Between the booking and the talent (or lack of it) on Smackdown, there’s no saving this show, SORRY! No, there’s only one thing that will salvage this television wasteland; and that is an infusion of wrestling greatness ala Del Rio or, yours truly, Double J!
The crowd still doesn’t agree.
Jeff Jarrett: I mean, be honest, Rey! The only crime being committed is these idiots in the stands being fleeced of their earnings by the idiot management in the back laughing all the way to the bank! Come on! When your champion is Ted DiBiase…JUNIOR…well, there ya go! Typical bureaucratic bullshit!
Rey halfway agrees with the last fact.
Jeff Jarrett: But don’t you skip your sanctimonious, sawed off ass down here and defend these people! They come here wishing they were like me or Del Rio all the time knowing they can’t! This should be a lesson in life and not some comic book, pie in the sky nonsense! But, I really don’t blame ya, Rey. I understand you HAVE to come down here and pander to these cretins. But I don’t have to, Mysterio! I don’t have a t-shirt or a mask to sell! It’s not like I’m out at the merchandise table selling little guitars so the brats’ll run down hoping I’ll sign one so they can sell it on eBay and get that new X-box game! I’m not going to pat them on their greasy little heads and tell them to take their vitamins and say their prayers! I’m not gonna lie to them, REY! Life bites and then ya die, unless, of course, you were born into wrestling royalty like me and Del Rio!
The crowd gets loud and Rey shakes his head.
Jeff Jarrett: Oh, you know it’s true! Not gonna sugar coat it! And I’m sure as HELL not gonna play your game on Smackdown, REY! When we meet in the ring, I’m grounding your circus act! No top rope for you, Mysterio! Nope! It’s gonna be one, two, three in the MIDDLE of the ring! And, in the end, actual wrestling prowess will win the day and Double J, Jeff Jarrett, will finally prove (Jarrett points all around the crowd) all a you middle class yayhoos wrong when the referee raises my hand in victory! And, THAT, you can take to the bank!
Jarrett smiles waiting for an answer
Jeff Jarrett: Sorry, Rey Rey, you lost me at Seattle and beautiful…
The crowd erupts into citywide chorus of hate.
Jeff Jarrett, still playing on his phone: Nah, I got bored so I thought I’d look up like the top ten things about Seattle. Couldn’t find anything, but this one comment that mentions Blow and Hookers! Wait here’s something interesting. Reasons Seattle blows…ironic, huh? Top Three? Most fugly women per capita…hey, get a camera on the moose on the front row over here. And she’s one of the pretty ones! All men here are pussies…big surprise! And #1? Even the gays here dress badly! Ha!!
(in case you think I made that up- 10 reasons Seattle BLOWS :: Seattle Shmeng :: The Mystery of Why Seattle Sucks )
Mysterio is in the ring now and staring a hole through Jarrett who finally puts his phone away.
Jeff Jarrett: So you’re here to save the day, eh, Speedy, the Mexican Mighty Mouse? Well, I think you’re too late! Between the booking and the talent (or lack of it) on Smackdown, there’s no saving this show, SORRY! No, there’s only one thing that will salvage this television wasteland; and that is an infusion of wrestling greatness ala Del Rio or, yours truly, Double J!
The crowd still doesn’t agree.
Jeff Jarrett: I mean, be honest, Rey! The only crime being committed is these idiots in the stands being fleeced of their earnings by the idiot management in the back laughing all the way to the bank! Come on! When your champion is Ted DiBiase…JUNIOR…well, there ya go! Typical bureaucratic bullshit!
Rey halfway agrees with the last fact.
Jeff Jarrett: But don’t you skip your sanctimonious, sawed off ass down here and defend these people! They come here wishing they were like me or Del Rio all the time knowing they can’t! This should be a lesson in life and not some comic book, pie in the sky nonsense! But, I really don’t blame ya, Rey. I understand you HAVE to come down here and pander to these cretins. But I don’t have to, Mysterio! I don’t have a t-shirt or a mask to sell! It’s not like I’m out at the merchandise table selling little guitars so the brats’ll run down hoping I’ll sign one so they can sell it on eBay and get that new X-box game! I’m not going to pat them on their greasy little heads and tell them to take their vitamins and say their prayers! I’m not gonna lie to them, REY! Life bites and then ya die, unless, of course, you were born into wrestling royalty like me and Del Rio!
The crowd gets loud and Rey shakes his head.
Jeff Jarrett: Oh, you know it’s true! Not gonna sugar coat it! And I’m sure as HELL not gonna play your game on Smackdown, REY! When we meet in the ring, I’m grounding your circus act! No top rope for you, Mysterio! Nope! It’s gonna be one, two, three in the MIDDLE of the ring! And, in the end, actual wrestling prowess will win the day and Double J, Jeff Jarrett, will finally prove (Jarrett points all around the crowd) all a you middle class yayhoos wrong when the referee raises my hand in victory! And, THAT, you can take to the bank!
Jarrett smiles waiting for an answer