Travis40
Guest
Tonight I'm reviewing the 8/11 edition of Monday Night Raw from Richmond, Virginia.
We kick Raw off with one half of the World Tag Team Champions, John Cena, coming down to the ring. Cena starts as soon as he gets in the ring. I know this might piss a couple of people off...but I think Cena's the best all around performer in WWE history. He's great on the mic, he's also good in the ring, and he can sell tons of merch. Cena talks about how Adamle is trying to spice up the big SSlam match. I really wish that WWE had held this off until Survivor Series to really build this, but Tista and Cena are doing a great job at building this match in the little amount of time that they have.
Out comes Batista and he's got a mic....oh dear god, someone please fucking put a bullet in my head. They both have some really gay moments. "I've been watching you too John" :shock:. Cena and Tista talk about how they're gonna be allies tonight and enemies at SSlam, they shake hands, and we go to commercial. I think WWE's doing a good job building this match with the limited amout of time that they have. Hopefully WWE keeps this fueding going until Survivor Series or WrestleMania. This was actually a halfway decent opening segment.
Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
We return from commercial to see Kelly Kelly coming down from the ramp. I was really hoping that her tits would fall out during this match. Then here comes Beth Phoenix to ruin this
....but really, is it just me, or has Beth Phoenix gotten hotter in the past couple of weeks? Thank god Santino's announcing, I think that saved this whole thing. I really wish Santino would quit wrestling and just become an announcer, I'd even watch ECW to see Santino.
I thought this was going to be a total squash match, but I was surprised that Kelly got so much offense in. Every week that she wrestles, Kelly looks like she's getting better and better. Beth finally ends the match.
Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix Star Rating - 1/2 *
After the match we see Santino come into the ring, instructing Beth to inflict more punishment. Before we have to see that, Kofi Kingston and Mickie James run down the ramp and into the ring to make the save. The heels bail out of the ring. Santino challenges Kofi to a match, which Kofi accepts....SWERVE, Santino was actually challenging Mickie James to a match. Kofi rejects, but Mickie accepts (Kofi needs to keep his bitch in line before she even thinks about driving, or even voting).
Santino Marella vs. Mickie James
Wow...I never though I'd type that. But anyways, the action starts off with Mickie dodging Santino, making Santino look like an idiot...er...even more of an idiot. Pretty shitty match, we see Santino provoke Kofi, distracting the ref and allowing Beth Phoenix to come into the ring and attack Mickie James, allowing Santino to get the pinfall and the victory.
If WWE is going with putting the belts on Santino and Phoenix at SummerSlam, it would be total shit to have an IC Champion who can't beat a woman on his own. That would probably be the final nail the coffin of the IC Championship.
Santino Marella vs. Mickie James Star Rating - 1/4 *
After the match we see Santino running around the ring like a total blueberry (a funny blueberry). Santino even gets another "Coffee Kingston" joke in as Santino runs back around to Beth and jumps into her arms :rofl: Santino is just pure gold...I just hope they don't give him gold at SS.
We cut to the back to see Ronald Regan...god....does Mike Adalme have a man crush on Ronald Regan? Mike Adamle starts talking to the new ECW announcer, Todd Grisham. Adamle kinda congratulates him on doing a good job this past Tuesday. All of a sudden we see Kane step into the shot as he has a firm grip on his sack. Adamle asks for the bag and Kane refuses. Kane then threatens Adalme....imo, why doesn't Adamle just get someone to steal the bag?
We then come back from commercial to see Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. They talk about a video package that was just played. They talk about how Putski and Santana were Tag Champs becuase they were a team. They then say that they'll win the Tag Titles tonight because they're a team. Nice promo from Rhodes and DiBiase, hopefully they have a long reign as the World Tag Champs.
Cryme Tyme vs. Highlanders
Uh...didn't one of the Highlanders get released a while back? eh, who cares? They're gonna be released in a copule of weeks anyways. Cryme Tyme just takes it to the Highlanders in this match and basically makes it a total squash match. Hopefully Cryme Tyme gets into a good fued with Rhodes and DiBiase soon. Cryme Tyme wins with some weak ass finisher from Shad (I think it was Shad :dunno They really need to go back to their old Tag Finisher.
Cryme Tyme vs. Highlanders Star Rating - *
We see something from WWE.com where it shows that Randy Orton was injured last night in St Louis in a motorcycle accident. If this is real, then I wish Randy a speedy recovery and thank god he wasn't killed, if this is a work, then it's a great job by the WWE. We don't know when Orton's gonna come back now. The WWE is getting better and better and better every week.
We see a table in the middle of the ring with a black sheet covering something on the table. JBL comes out first and before he can say anything, Punk comes down the ramp and into the ring with the World Title around his waist. JBL starts with the same old boring "You're title reign will be just a footnote" speech that we've heard every week since June. Punk talks about how he earned the belt. JBL then directs his attention at the table with the black sheet on it. JBL lifts up the sheet to reveal (surprise, surprise) a Jack Daniels bottle on the table
JBL says that if Punk takes a drink, JBL will declare Punk the winner of the contest. Punk talks about how his Straight Edge lifestyle has gotten him this far (damn, I hope to god that we don't get this whole "I'm Straight Edge yadaydayadayada shit every week from now on). This entire time I was expecting Punk to break out the famous line "I'm Straight Edge, and I'm better than you". Punk acts like he's gonna take a drink...and throws it into JBL's face.
I would've liked this whole thing better if Punk had been the one getting the JD thrown in his face. It would get the ultimate heat for JBL and the fans would go even crazier for Punk in Indy on Sunday night. For some reason, I have the feeling that Rhodes and DiBiase are going to be involved with the World Title match, helping JBL win the World Title. Cabinent 2.0? (JBL, Rhodes, DiBiase, Birchill, Katie Lea)
Chris Jericho vs. Kane
You know, this should be one of the biggest matches of the year on Raw...and we're not even concentrated on the match, all we can think of is the mask in the bag. I expected Lance Cade to grab the bag and run to the back....then I saw Security and knew that it was going to be revealed tonight. Kane gets distracted and that causes him to lose to the Codebreaker. It was a good match, but it seemed like it was going on, only because they're trying to further this storyline.
Chris Jericho vs. Kane Star Rating - **1/2
Adamle then gets into the ring and....you guessed it, says something about Ronald Fucking Regan. I don't get the big deal...Mike Adamle should be worshipping Kurt Angle, Kurt Angle wrestled with a broken freakin neck, did Ronald Regan hit a german on Brock Lesnar with a broken freakin neck? HELL NO...uh..sorry, I got a little side tracked
Anyways, Adalme tells Kane to hand the mask over...pfft like he's gonna do that
...wait...he is!?!?!??!?!? Adamle says that he knows who Kane is talking about and what's in the bag. Don't we all?....wait...no we don't :dry: Kane then tells Adalme that there is a mask in the bag, while the fans go apeshit. The person who wore that mask was " scarred, tortured and damaged beyond all human recognition"....but it wasn't Kane's mask...the fans are like while Kane slowly pulls out a mask....A REY MYSTERIO MASK??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK 
:
The fans are in shock while Kane looks at the Mysterio mask before leaving the ring and going the back as fans are utterly confused. That was fucking awesome because this could be (as someone has said already) mask on vs. mask off. Kane vs. Mysterio. If Mysterio wins, Kane puts the mask on, if Kane wins, Mysterio takes his mask off...good excuse to get Kane's mask back on. This has also been a great way to turn Kane heel. Since he "attacked" Mysterio and stole his mask, that's gonna get people ready to see Mysterio return and beat Kane.
Jamie Noble vs. William Regal
Thank god we didn't have to see the ugly ass face of whatshername. Regal wins in a quick squash match...now that really helped get Noble over
Jamie Noble vs. William Regal Star Rating - 1/4 *
Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena and Batista
Great way to further the fued of Batista and Cena, and thank god DiBiase and Rhodes got their Tag Team Titles back...I just hope they keep it for 6 months this time. After the match Batista and Cena start to brawl to end the show...I didn't say much about this match becuase I had to miss it...so I barely saw parts of the match....
Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena and Batista Star Rating - *
Overall - This wasn't the greatest Raw ever, but it was still pretty good. It helped further the storylines on Raw leading into SummerSlam and it also turned Kane heel. All in all it was a good show...the in ring parts of the show sucked, but the entertainment value was awesome.
Now it's time for my SummerSlam predictions
Hell In A Cell Match
Edge vs. Undertaker
I see Foley having something to do with Edge winning
WWE Championship Match
Triple H (c) vs. The Great Khali
Via DQ...thank god
World Heavyweight Championship Match
CM Punk (c) vs. JBL
I have a weird feeling that Punk won't walk out with the title becuase of Rhodes and DiBiase...but I hope that Punk retains.
ECW Championship Match
Mark Henry (c) vs. Matt Hardy
Bad move by WWE if they take the title off of Henry now...
John Cena vs. Batista - No Contest...Kane interrupts
Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Jeff Hardy
MVP cheats to win, keeping this fued going until No Mercy or Survivor Series
Winners Take All Tag Team IC & Women’s Championship Match
Kofi Kingston (c) & Mickie James (c) vs. Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix
If Glamorella wins...I riot
We kick Raw off with one half of the World Tag Team Champions, John Cena, coming down to the ring. Cena starts as soon as he gets in the ring. I know this might piss a couple of people off...but I think Cena's the best all around performer in WWE history. He's great on the mic, he's also good in the ring, and he can sell tons of merch. Cena talks about how Adamle is trying to spice up the big SSlam match. I really wish that WWE had held this off until Survivor Series to really build this, but Tista and Cena are doing a great job at building this match in the little amount of time that they have.
Out comes Batista and he's got a mic....oh dear god, someone please fucking put a bullet in my head. They both have some really gay moments. "I've been watching you too John" :shock:. Cena and Tista talk about how they're gonna be allies tonight and enemies at SSlam, they shake hands, and we go to commercial. I think WWE's doing a good job building this match with the limited amout of time that they have. Hopefully WWE keeps this fueding going until Survivor Series or WrestleMania. This was actually a halfway decent opening segment.
Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
We return from commercial to see Kelly Kelly coming down from the ramp. I was really hoping that her tits would fall out during this match. Then here comes Beth Phoenix to ruin this
....but really, is it just me, or has Beth Phoenix gotten hotter in the past couple of weeks? Thank god Santino's announcing, I think that saved this whole thing. I really wish Santino would quit wrestling and just become an announcer, I'd even watch ECW to see Santino.I thought this was going to be a total squash match, but I was surprised that Kelly got so much offense in. Every week that she wrestles, Kelly looks like she's getting better and better. Beth finally ends the match.
Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix Star Rating - 1/2 *
After the match we see Santino come into the ring, instructing Beth to inflict more punishment. Before we have to see that, Kofi Kingston and Mickie James run down the ramp and into the ring to make the save. The heels bail out of the ring. Santino challenges Kofi to a match, which Kofi accepts....SWERVE, Santino was actually challenging Mickie James to a match. Kofi rejects, but Mickie accepts (Kofi needs to keep his bitch in line before she even thinks about driving, or even voting).
Santino Marella vs. Mickie James
Wow...I never though I'd type that. But anyways, the action starts off with Mickie dodging Santino, making Santino look like an idiot...er...even more of an idiot. Pretty shitty match, we see Santino provoke Kofi, distracting the ref and allowing Beth Phoenix to come into the ring and attack Mickie James, allowing Santino to get the pinfall and the victory.
If WWE is going with putting the belts on Santino and Phoenix at SummerSlam, it would be total shit to have an IC Champion who can't beat a woman on his own. That would probably be the final nail the coffin of the IC Championship.
Santino Marella vs. Mickie James Star Rating - 1/4 *
After the match we see Santino running around the ring like a total blueberry (a funny blueberry). Santino even gets another "Coffee Kingston" joke in as Santino runs back around to Beth and jumps into her arms :rofl: Santino is just pure gold...I just hope they don't give him gold at SS.
We cut to the back to see Ronald Regan...god....does Mike Adalme have a man crush on Ronald Regan? Mike Adamle starts talking to the new ECW announcer, Todd Grisham. Adamle kinda congratulates him on doing a good job this past Tuesday. All of a sudden we see Kane step into the shot as he has a firm grip on his sack. Adamle asks for the bag and Kane refuses. Kane then threatens Adalme....imo, why doesn't Adamle just get someone to steal the bag?
We then come back from commercial to see Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. They talk about a video package that was just played. They talk about how Putski and Santana were Tag Champs becuase they were a team. They then say that they'll win the Tag Titles tonight because they're a team. Nice promo from Rhodes and DiBiase, hopefully they have a long reign as the World Tag Champs.
Cryme Tyme vs. Highlanders
Uh...didn't one of the Highlanders get released a while back? eh, who cares? They're gonna be released in a copule of weeks anyways. Cryme Tyme just takes it to the Highlanders in this match and basically makes it a total squash match. Hopefully Cryme Tyme gets into a good fued with Rhodes and DiBiase soon. Cryme Tyme wins with some weak ass finisher from Shad (I think it was Shad :dunno
They really need to go back to their old Tag Finisher.Cryme Tyme vs. Highlanders Star Rating - *
We see something from WWE.com where it shows that Randy Orton was injured last night in St Louis in a motorcycle accident. If this is real, then I wish Randy a speedy recovery and thank god he wasn't killed, if this is a work, then it's a great job by the WWE. We don't know when Orton's gonna come back now. The WWE is getting better and better and better every week.
We see a table in the middle of the ring with a black sheet covering something on the table. JBL comes out first and before he can say anything, Punk comes down the ramp and into the ring with the World Title around his waist. JBL starts with the same old boring "You're title reign will be just a footnote" speech that we've heard every week since June. Punk talks about how he earned the belt. JBL then directs his attention at the table with the black sheet on it. JBL lifts up the sheet to reveal (surprise, surprise) a Jack Daniels bottle on the table
JBL says that if Punk takes a drink, JBL will declare Punk the winner of the contest. Punk talks about how his Straight Edge lifestyle has gotten him this far (damn, I hope to god that we don't get this whole "I'm Straight Edge yadaydayadayada shit every week from now on). This entire time I was expecting Punk to break out the famous line "I'm Straight Edge, and I'm better than you". Punk acts like he's gonna take a drink...and throws it into JBL's face.
I would've liked this whole thing better if Punk had been the one getting the JD thrown in his face. It would get the ultimate heat for JBL and the fans would go even crazier for Punk in Indy on Sunday night. For some reason, I have the feeling that Rhodes and DiBiase are going to be involved with the World Title match, helping JBL win the World Title. Cabinent 2.0? (JBL, Rhodes, DiBiase, Birchill, Katie Lea)
Chris Jericho vs. Kane
You know, this should be one of the biggest matches of the year on Raw...and we're not even concentrated on the match, all we can think of is the mask in the bag. I expected Lance Cade to grab the bag and run to the back....then I saw Security and knew that it was going to be revealed tonight. Kane gets distracted and that causes him to lose to the Codebreaker. It was a good match, but it seemed like it was going on, only because they're trying to further this storyline.
Chris Jericho vs. Kane Star Rating - **1/2
Adamle then gets into the ring and....you guessed it, says something about Ronald Fucking Regan. I don't get the big deal...Mike Adamle should be worshipping Kurt Angle, Kurt Angle wrestled with a broken freakin neck, did Ronald Regan hit a german on Brock Lesnar with a broken freakin neck? HELL NO...uh..sorry, I got a little side tracked
Anyways, Adalme tells Kane to hand the mask over...pfft like he's gonna do that
...wait...he is!?!?!??!?!? Adamle says that he knows who Kane is talking about and what's in the bag. Don't we all?....wait...no we don't :dry: Kane then tells Adalme that there is a mask in the bag, while the fans go apeshit. The person who wore that mask was " scarred, tortured and damaged beyond all human recognition"....but it wasn't Kane's mask...the fans are like while Kane slowly pulls out a mask....A REY MYSTERIO MASK??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK :The fans are in shock while Kane looks at the Mysterio mask before leaving the ring and going the back as fans are utterly confused. That was fucking awesome because this could be (as someone has said already) mask on vs. mask off. Kane vs. Mysterio. If Mysterio wins, Kane puts the mask on, if Kane wins, Mysterio takes his mask off...good excuse to get Kane's mask back on. This has also been a great way to turn Kane heel. Since he "attacked" Mysterio and stole his mask, that's gonna get people ready to see Mysterio return and beat Kane.
Jamie Noble vs. William Regal
Thank god we didn't have to see the ugly ass face of whatshername. Regal wins in a quick squash match...now that really helped get Noble over
Jamie Noble vs. William Regal Star Rating - 1/4 *
Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena and Batista
Great way to further the fued of Batista and Cena, and thank god DiBiase and Rhodes got their Tag Team Titles back...I just hope they keep it for 6 months this time
. After the match Batista and Cena start to brawl to end the show...I didn't say much about this match becuase I had to miss it...so I barely saw parts of the match....Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes vs. John Cena and Batista Star Rating - *
Overall - This wasn't the greatest Raw ever, but it was still pretty good. It helped further the storylines on Raw leading into SummerSlam and it also turned Kane heel. All in all it was a good show...the in ring parts of the show sucked, but the entertainment value was awesome.
Now it's time for my SummerSlam predictions
Hell In A Cell Match
Edge vs. Undertaker
I see Foley having something to do with Edge winning
WWE Championship Match
Triple H (c) vs. The Great Khali
Via DQ...thank god
World Heavyweight Championship Match
CM Punk (c) vs. JBL
I have a weird feeling that Punk won't walk out with the title becuase of Rhodes and DiBiase...but I hope that Punk retains.
ECW Championship Match
Mark Henry (c) vs. Matt Hardy
Bad move by WWE if they take the title off of Henry now...
John Cena vs. Batista - No Contest...Kane interrupts
Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Jeff Hardy
MVP cheats to win, keeping this fued going until No Mercy or Survivor Series
Winners Take All Tag Team IC & Women’s Championship Match
Kofi Kingston (c) & Mickie James (c) vs. Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix
If Glamorella wins...I riot