ACW Friday Night Beatdown #2
ACW Presents: Friday Night Beatdown Episode #2
Presented In Glorious Recap Format!
BOOM BOOM BOOOOMMM!!!!
BAM BAWM BICHOW BOM CHICA WOW WOW BIIZZZAAPPP!!!!!
FALCUN PAAAWWWNNNCHHH!!!!!!!!!
The first blast of horrifyingly eccentric pyro blasts throughout the entrance ramp as several rockets are fired into the ceiling, probably killing at least two guys working in the rafters in the process. And its all for the sake of Allstar Championship Wrestling and Friday Night Beatdown! The cameras whiz around the entire arena showing all of the rabid fans who were probably given free tickets to the show to make it look reasonably packed. Various signs such as “Rabbits Have Nothing To Do With The Coming Of Christ” and “I Thought This Was Monday Night Voltage” are showcased as we are joined by Tony Shiavone and Valmia Blair at the broadcast table as they run down the show generically.
Tony Shiavone:
Hello everyone and welcome to Allstar Championship Wrestling and Friday Night Beatdown! This is quickly shaping up to be the greatest night in the history of our sport! I'm Tony Shiavone and this is my partner in crime, Valmia Blair!
Valmia Blair:
Silly Tony, we're not doing anything illegal!....yet.
Tony Shiavone:
Well that's all about to change Val as we head straight into an action packed night we have tonight. ACW Television Championship qualifiers, the ACW Brotherhood Championship, and not to mention quite possibly the most important match of the night, coming right up! It's the debut of Jack Swaggah!
Valmia Blair:
I think he's also fighting some shrimpy looking man Tony. What's his name? Evan Courageous?
Tony Shiavone:
Swaggah!
Valmia Blair:
Evan Swagger? I didn't know this was a brother vs. brother match!
Jack Swagger Vs. Evan Karagias
DING DING DING!
This match was quick as could have been expected. If it wasn't screamed at you from the moment “Debut” sounded out. If it wasn't obvious from the announcers misspelling Evans name, or only caring about the fact that Swagger was in this match. Then may God have mercy on your soul. Red White and Blue Thunder Powerbomb Later, and you have a winner.
Winner Via Being Totally Awesome: Jack Swaggah!
Tony Shiavone:
Wow what a contest Valmia! I swear I had no clue what was going to become the outcome of that match!
Valmia Blair:
I lost fifty big ones on Courageous.
Tony Shiavone:
You poor poor woman. Let's take you to the back where
Larry Sweeney: is standing alongside Tony Mamaluke and Little Guido Maritato as they prepare for their big match tonight against the World's Greatest Tag Team!
Hey look, there's
Larry Sweeney:. And he's standing with, yep you guessed it, The Full Blooded Italians! How awesomely accurate was that?
Larry Sweeney::
Holy mackerel what a night it is folks! Sweet and Sour here, and guys I know you're pumped, I know your jacked, I know your ready to give it your all tonight against the World's Greatest Tag Team. But lets be honest boys, you're reputation isn't that of being the most successful duo in the world. What are you gonna do to change that stigma and somehow come out tonight with a W?
Tony Mamaluke:
Well ya see Sweeney, Shelton Benjamen and Charlie Haas, they've got quite the pecking order going on eh? Charlie Haas, he takes the bullets, Shelton Benjamen, he takes the money. It's an effective one two punch combination. Ya punch Haas, ya punch Benjamen, bada bing bada boom. Both kanooks are knocked out, and FBI takes the titles. Simple as that.
Little Guido Maritato:
Yeah yeah yeah Shelton and Charles, they all wanna bitch and moan, demanding title shots or whatevah. Ya know what I hear these guys yapping their gums and I just gotta tell em straight up. You keep on using your mouth instead of your brain, you might be finding yaselves well ah...how should I put this? Sleeping with the fishes. It's aight though really. Ya see boys because after tonight, before you take a dive, we'll make sure to set ya up with a nice pair of concrete goulashes. Capiche? Fuggetaboutit.
Tony Shiavone:
Some strong words from the Full Blooded Italians, I'm telling ya I dunno what to expect tonight!
Valmia Blair:
Whatssamattah you?
Tony Shiavone:
No, wahtssamattah you! Anyways, on with more tag team action tonight folks, except this one is a little bit unorthodox! Kevin Thorn & Vladamir Koslov are looking for some retribution, as they take on the actual tag team of Mark Henry and Goldust, Gold Chocolate!
Tag Team Match:
Kevin Thorn & Vladamir Koslov Vs. Gold Chocolate
This match was slightly more exciting than the former encounter. Goldust and Kevin Thorn started in, and Goldust shot out of his seated position and blasted Thorn with some hard rights. They traded blows for a while, with Kevin Thorn getting the upper hand with a knee to the gut. He worked over Goldust for a while, before throwing him into his own corner where Mark Henry aka Sexual Chocolate made his return. He was in the gear of his old gimmick and returned to having a clean shaven face. Yeah, he was sexy. Kevin Thorn tagged out to Vladamir Koslov expectedly, and we had a staredown. Koslov went to the ropes for a shoulder block, no budging. He tried it again, no budging. He tried it a third time and got clobbered with a clothesline by Mark Henry. Koslov demanded that Henry try to take HIM down. To which he obliged, Koslov moved out of the way, and took him down with a kick to the gut and a DDT to the mat. Goldust came in to save his partner, to which Kevin Thorn came in as well, as we had a four way brawl. Kevin Thorn disposed of Goldust to the outside, as Mark Henry came from behind and threw him over the top rope as well, but as Henry turned around he ate a powerslam by Koslov and that was it.
Winners via Powerslam: Kevin Thorn & Vladamir Koslov
Tony Shiavone:
A much needed win there for Thorn and Koslov regaining some momentum from last week, but Gold Chocolate didn't look too bad either!
Valmia Blair:
I liked the part where he picked him up and dropped him on the mat!
Tony Shiavone:
Yes dear that's called wrestling. With us now backstage is new ACW Elite Champion Kurt Angle. Lets hear what he has to say about his match tonight against CM Punk and Batista!
Boom, its Kurt Angle on your screen. See what I did there? Magical.
Kurt Angle:
Hello everyone, as you all know, my name is Kurt Angle. I am the only olympic gold medalist in professional wrestling. I am the master of the three I's. Intensity. Integrity. And Intelligence. I am your freakin hero. And what do I get for becoming the ELITE champion of ACW? I am thrust in a match, against two goons who couldn't get the job done last week, and just keep on coming back for more. Well folks, as your champion, I simply cannot allow lesser wrestlers to enter this company and think they can continue to put on mediocre match after mediocre match, while still being considered my equal. So with the intensity that only an olmpic gold medalist can have. The integrity to know when enough is enough. And the intelligence to realize that I am simply better than the rest of the whole freakin planet. I'm going into that ring tonight, and I am not leaving until every one of my opponents has their freakin ankles broken. Thank me later, I do this for you.
As the video fades out from Kurt Angles promo, we cut to the ACW Recap of Monday Night Voltage.
Finally, when we return from what will most likely bring the last commercial break we see a red carpet spanning the entrance ramp and a podium in the ring as Orton is standing in the ring.
Randy Orton: Gardner, I am your biggest asset, you would be smart to keep me happy. This place will not SURVIVE without me. These days, you better keep people like me happy to avoid losing your job.
The crowd boo the Orton threats.
Randy Orton: Get the hell out here Gardner! Hand me that title right now or you will pay the consequences...
Raise the Alarm by The Living End starts to play as Brandon Gardner waltz down to the ring with a briefcase in one hand, most likely the World Title.
Randy Orton: Now if you were smart...
Brandon Gardner: Shut up Randy.
The crowd let off a loud cheer as Orton is put in his place.
Brandon Gardner: I am not here to hand what's in this briefcase to you, I am here to make you earn it.
The crowd cheer again as Orton does not look happy. Gardner then lays the briefcase on the podium.
Brandon Gardner: Randy, if you want the briefcase so badly, then take it, nothing is stopping you here.
Orton then starts looking eerily at the briefcase thinking if it is a lie before grabbing hold of it and opening it up and revealing a shiny new title.
Brandon Gardner: Go on, take it, I dare you.
Orton keeps eyeing the title before finally slowly grabbing the title and then walking out of the ring and smiling with the title over his shoulder when he gets to the top of the ramp when...
SEXY BOY
HBK MAKES HIS WAY OUT ON THE RAMP BEHIND RANDY. HE THEN WAKES FOR ORTON TO TURN AROUND AND CONNECTS WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC.
Brandon Gardner: Please welcome, your first ACW Champion, the Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels.
Michaels then picks up the title off of the shoulder of Orton and drapes it over his shoulder as the crowd cheer heavily and we go off air.
ACW Television Championship Qualifier:
Carlito Vs. Rikishi
In a fast paced match up, Carlito immediately went on the attack with some punches. Rikishi brushed him off with some chops to the chest, and Irish whipped him to the ropes with a superkick. Rikishi went for a pinfall and barely got 2. Carlito was pulled back up by his hair until he blasted Rikishi with an enziguri kick. Carlito then caught him again with a neckbreaker and went for a near fall himself, only to get two. They both got back up, with Rikishi unloading some palm strikes to the mid section of Carlito, who then ate a roaring elbow by The Kish that takes him down. Carlito was shaking the cobwebs out until he got whipped into the corner, and body splashed. Carlito did the predictable fall into the corner, to which Rikishi taunted for the stink face. Carlito however was able to craftily shove his opponent face first into the steel ring post, and as he stumbled out of the corner Carlito drilled him with a DDT and still only got a two count. Carlito tried to lift him up to signal for the end, but Rikishi battled back with several knees to the gut. He whipped Carlito the ropes and reared back for one of his patented Samoan Drops, but Carlito wiggled free right behind Rikishi just in time for a Back Cracker. And that was finally all she wrote.
Winner Via Back Cracker: Carlito
Tony Shiavone:
And it's decided! Carlito will meet whoever wins between Booker T and James Storm tonight, to see who will become the first ever ACW Television Champion! And we still have so much more going on tonight! Still to come tag team championships crowned, as well as a tag team main event! Kurt Angle and William Regal taking on CM Punk and Batista!
Valmia Blair:
You said so many things at once that I am dizzy!
Tony Shiavone:
Don't worry Val it's only because your blond. Regardless folks let's not dilly dally any longer, its finally time for the ACW Brotherhood Championship! The Worlds Greatest Tag Team taking on the FBI!
Valmia Blair:
Lets hope they don't waterboard anybody!
ACW Brotherhood Championship
Worlds Greatest Tag Team Vs. FBI
The match started off with Tony Mamaluke and Charlie Haas. Some good trading back and forth control with the grappling. Each exchanging waist locks, Charlie Haas reared back with a german suplex with a bridge and only got a one count. On his way up Mamaluke blasted Haas with a roundhouse kick to the side of the head dazing him, and put him on his shoulders for a rolling samoan drop. Mamaluke didn't stop there however as after impact he jumped up to the middle rope and vader splashed on top of his opponent for a two count. Tony Mamaluke gave a tag out to Little Guido as they set up Charlie Haas for a guilotine leg drop that connects. Guido goes for a pinfall and still only a two count on Haas. Guido picked up Charlie and got jacked by a jawbreaker. On his way back off the ropes Guido got tossed like a caesar salad with an overhead belly to belly suplex, and Charlie Haas tagged out to Shelton Benjamen. Shelton slingshotted over the top rope and drilled Maritato with a dropkick. Mamaluke came into the ring and ate a T-Bone suplex. Little Guido came back up and ate a dragon whip. Benjamen then went for a cover on Guido and only got a the two. Mamaluke then came from behind and double ax handled Shelton across the back as Guido and Mamaluke began hitting him with stomps in the corner. As the referee gained control and told Tony to go back to his corner, Shelton grabbed onto the top rope and perched himself backflipping on their lying in wait for Guido to turn around. He leaped into the air for a flying body press but Maritato scouted it and countered with a big leaping dropkick to the chest. The fans are on their feet as Tony and Guido both get in the ring again, Guido holds Benjamen for a calf kick and tiger suplex, which Maritato bridges into a pinfall and only gets a two count! Charlie Haas comes running back into the ring, wrapping around Tony and nailing him with a release German. Guido comes in and gets a tilt a whirl side slam. Haas and Benjamen regain their footing as Haas temporarily leaves for a legal tag and they utilize the count to get up Guido as they get ready to perform their stungun leapfrog finisher. But Tony Mamaluke hits a basement dropkick to the back of the knee of Benjamen and drills him with a reverse DDT. Charlie Haas kicks Tony Mamaluke in the gut and kills him with a fishermans DDT. But as he turns around he eats a superkick from the exhausted Little Guido, who grabs Haas' head and runs to the corner, delivering a unique shiranui into a sicilian sliced leg drop! Guido goes for a pinfall, as the referee gets into position counting the two, Guido grabs a hold of the tights for extra leverage and gets a three count!
Winners Via Shiranui Leg Drop and NEW ACW Brotherhood Champions: F.B.I.
Tony Shiavone:
Holy shit on a shingle with a side of mayo! Who would of EVER thought that the FBI would be our first ever ACW Brotherhood Champions!
Valmia Blair:
I never bet against the FBI Tony. They know things.
Tony Shiavone:
Indeed they do Miss Blair. Indeed they do. Speaking of creepy individuals with mental problems, let's take you to our next video package of a very “special” superstar that will be making his debut here surely, very soon.
A video package runs of Nick Dinsmore. No longer looking Blue, but now actually looking very very angry. Pulling his hair, screaming at the camera, and cracking wild sadistic smiles. He begins to speak once the image comes into focus onto just one Nick Dinsmore.
Nick Dinsmore:
People still laugh at me. They look at me and laugh. All they ever want to do is make fun of me! It doesn't matter if I am smart, if I am dumb, if I am nice if I am mean. Because of their own damned social prejudices they want to tell me that I'm not good enough to socialize with the outside world! Well that's not good enough for me. You see the old Eugene, the sick fucking freak shell of a man. Eugene the fun loving, kind, caring and wishful starry eyed hero. He makes me sick. I want AWAY from that image of myself. I wish to forget about my past. And instead, I will reek vengeance upon those who have wronged me! I am coming to ACW, not to seek fame or glory. But to release my aggression! To fulfill my destinty as a war machine. As someone who can and will take no prisoners.
I am Nick Dinsmore. Forget about your stupid gimmicks, forget about your mindless games. The time of intellectual stimulation has arrived.
Tony Shiavone:
That ladies and gentlemen, is a scary scary man. But he's a personal agent brought in by Mr. Saints himself so I guess this comes natural. I simply don't like the feeling I get from Nick Dinsmore, he creeps me out!
Valmia Blair:
Really now Tony that's not very nice things to say about the mentally challenged.
Tony Shiavone:
But he's not-oh forget it. Coming up next folks is the last match before our main event, we've got Booker T taking on James Storm. The winner of the match will face Carlito next week for the ACW Television Championship!
Booker T Vs. James Storm
James Storm jumped Booker T right before the bell as he was taunting in the corner, and continued up the pressure with his strong punches sending Booker T down into the corner. The referee pulls James Storm off of his opponent telling him to back off, allowing Booker T to raise himself back up and slam James Storm with a forearm shot. Booker bounces around a little bit scoring with some strikes and low kicks, before leaping into the air going for a flying crescent kick but James Storm ducked under it and blasted him with a snap spinebuster that only got two on the mat. James Storm laid in a leg drop across the throat of Booker and went for another count only to score yet another near fall. Storm kept up the pressure putting Bookers throat across the middle rope. He bounced off the other side and leaped towards him but Booker moved out of the way at the last second crotching Storm, and connecting with a high impact clothesline that sent Storm to the mat. Booker T went for a cover of his own and Storm got his foot on the ropes. Booker tried to drag him to the center of the ring and got rolled up for his efforts into a small package. But STILL just a two count only. Both men rose to their feets very quickly and Booker T ducked a clothesline and this time connected with his flying crescent kick. Booker T took a little bit of time for showboating with the Spinaroonie, and when he turned around he just narrowly ducks a superkick, tucking under the leg and shooting upwards with a devastating Book End! Booker hooked both legs and went for a pinfall. And got the three count!
Winner via Bookend: Booker T
Tony Shiavone:
What a competitive match up that was folks! But it does seems as if it's gonna be Booker T Vs. Carlito next week for the ACW Television Championship! Boy I can't wait!
Valmia Blair:
I like Booker T, he does a lot of flippy thingies.
Tony Shiavone:
Indeed he does and its those very flippy thingies that got him the victory tonight! We are just moments away from our highly anticipated Main Event, lets take it to the back where CM Punk is waiting to give his own little insight just seconds before he has to go out and compete!
Titantron + CM Punk = Hype Promo time. Yay sauce.
CM Punk:
I am not a man who makes excuses, I make retribution. I right the wrongs of yesterday and fight the good fight today. Men like Kurt Angle? Their physical drive to push their bodies past their normal limits definitely shows that he has the short term gain. But his very nature gives him very faulty long term stability. Batista may be my tag team partner, but he too uses super natural means to achieve his own goals. But I, CM Punk feed off of adrenaline. My addiction, is competition, and even though I wrestled two matches in a row last week, I am prepared to do it all over again tonight. Because with patience and discipline comes long term reward. So while Batista, Regal, Angle and even RVD all have their clocks ticking. I am easily, the youngest and most talented athlete of them all, and therefore whether its today. Tomorrow. Or next year, I will somebody become the ACW Elite Champion. I start that journey tonight, and I will not stop until I right the wrongs that Kurt Angle has committed. Because I am straight edge, and that means I am better than you.
Main Event:
Kurt Angle & William Regal Vs. Batista & CM Punk
The match starts off with William Regal and CM Punk. Punk kicking his way through Regal but the crafty veteran found a weak point and pie faced Punk down to the mat with a counter of his kick. From there Regal maintained control of the match, grounding Punk and working over his leg. He locked in a single leg crab and Punk got to the ropes. Regal however slapped him silly and dragged him back to the middle of the ring. Punk kicked him off and tried to go for his partner, but Regal grabbed the leg again. This time Punk fired back with an enziguri kick which sent Regal wobbling into his corner with a tag to Angle who rushed to the ring and dragged Punk back to the heel corner where they kept up the beat down. Angle even more vicious than Regal as he traded in his submission control with smothering Punk with forearms and knee stomps. Angle however erred when he tried to go for a top rope belly to belly suplex to finish off Punk, when the straight edge superstar kicked him off and delivered a few desperation head butts to knock Angle down. Punk then used a tremendous amount of energy that he had left, delivering a flying shining wizard kick to Angle and made a hot tag to Batista! Angle was still recovering from that shining wizard kick so Batista simply shoulder blocked William Regal off of his corner to the outside of the ring. Angle returned to his feet and tastes not one, not two, but three clotheslines from Batista. Hey at least he's consistent. Kurt Angle woozily returns to his feet and eats a spinebuster from the Animal who begins to shake the ropes signaling for the end. On the outside however CM Punk sees William Regal grabbing a steel chair. So CM Punk attempts to jump after and stop the fiend but instead ends up eating barricade as Regal forcefully shoves him face first into it. Batista sees his partner in trouble and tries to stick his head through the ropes to help out Punk while Angle complains to the referee about his neck and WHAM!~ Regal blasts Batista in the head with a steel chair. He stumbles backward, and the referee doesn't see it as Kurt Angle rolls him up into a small package. One, Two, Three its over.
Winners Via Shenanigans: Kurt Angle and William Regal
Tony Shiavone:
No! Damnit! Kurt Angle steals one two weeks in a row!
Valmia Blair:
Batista and CM Punk look so angry!
Tony Shiavone:
That's because they've become subject to a royal screw job here tonight. I really hope Kurt Angle gets his cummupins.
Valmia Blair:
You're so dirty Tony.
Kurt Angle and William Regal made sure to high tail it out of there as Batista seethes with anger in the ring. CM Punk hobbles into the ring as Angle and Regal gloat on the entrance ramp, when suddenly, Blueprint 2 by Jay Z plays over the PA system. And right behind Kurt and William is none other than Mr. Saints himself. He is holding a microphone and looks from man to man, before making his announcement.
Mr. Saints:
As much as I do enjoy your tactics champ, I hate to say it but what you've done tonight is not satisfactory. It hardly proves you're the best and I simply can't have that. I like me a dominant champion, not somebody who barely gets away with by the skin of his teeth. So next week, I'm setting you up again. Except this time we're gonna have a little twist. Next week we will have Batista go one on one with William Regal. And CM Punk will get his chance to prove his worth as well as he faces Kurt Angle in non title competition. Here's the catch though folks, and pay attention this may go over your heads. But Whoever wins between Batista and William Regal, will become the #1 Contender for the ACW Elite Championship. However! If CM Punk should be able to defeat Kurt Angle next week, he too will be #1 Contender. So whoever wins out of your two matches, will meet our ACW Elite Champion for the title, at an undisclosed date and time. I will reveal this next week of course, but as for now? You all just better get ready. It's gonna be a wild ride!
Tony Shiavone:
Ladies and gentlemen what a blockbuster announcement for Mister Saints! CM Punk, Batista and William Regal, either man may very well become #1 Contender next week!
Valmia Blair:
I hope somebody wins!
Tony Shiavone:
I hope so too Val, it would be a darn shame to walk out next week without a single worthy contender. But hey! We'll just have to tune in next week wont we? Good night everybody![/CENTER]
o) and Brandon 
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