Axis' TNA Lockdown 2010 Review
Show starts with introductions, and Taz has a nice zinger calling Waltman out for no showing. “I guess it’s just a case of Syxx-Pac being Syxx-Pac.†Also, Eric Bischoff isn’t here tonight which they make it sound like will be a big deal tonight. He’s probably wrestling an indy match in Minnesota. Oh, and Doug Williams was stranded in Europe so he was stripped of the X-Division Championship. It was clearly his fault that the volcano went off, so this is definitely fair.
All matches are in a cage like is customary. I really think they should reconsider that and put their main-drawing matches in cages, and then of course Lethal Lockdown in the main event.
Match 1: Rob Van Dam vs James Storm [Winner’s team has numbers advantage in Lethal Lockdown]
Recap: RVD attacks on the outside and pretty much makes Storm look like a bitch. Somehow Van Dam gets busted open by a simple head to the ring steps, so whatever. They spill back into the ring and RVD continues to make Storm look like a bitch until a really awesome neckbreaker from the corner. Storm’s offense all looks really brutal and crisp, and I just generally love the guy. RVD runs through his offense some more, and Storm sells it all just fine. Storm spits beer in RVD’s eyes behind the ref’s back (because I guess beer is illegal in a cage match?) and then hits a big DDT for a good false finish. A fun closing run without relying on big move reversals, and RVD gets the win with the Five Star Frog Splash.
My thoughts: This is 80% RVD running through his offense, but I wouldn’t say that Storm ever really looked weak. Plus, commentary touched on the fact that RVD has pretty much been a singles guy his entire career, whereas Storm is primarily a tag team wrestler. Above-average match for an opener, and the crowd dug it. I can’t and won’t complain.
Rating: ***
Backstage, Christy Hemme does an interview with Hogan and somehow this earns her the biggest Knockouts paycheck in the company. Hogan cuts a forced promo trying to put over his team, but it’s pretty clear that this type of promo isn’t his forte. He can put himself over, but that’s about it. Story of his life, I guess. He says that if Team Flair wins, he’ll “consider†walking away from TNA, and now I know who to cheer for in the main event.
Match 2: Homicide vs Brian Kendrick vs Alex Shelley vs Chris Sabin [Winner is put into X-Division title match later tonight]
Recap: I had to look up Homicide on Wikipedia, because the crowd reaction was virtually not there, so I didn’t know if he was a face or a heel. Apparently he’s a face. Anyway, right away Homicide tries to climb out of the cage, which is a smart move because it lets us know how the match is won, since it wasn’t said otherwise. Within the first minute, Kendrick is split open. I’m confused because literally the only move done on him so far is a dropkick. MCMG work together at the start, but eventually Homicide and Kendrick team up to counter it. It becomes almost a tornado tag match until Homicide encourages Kendrick to hit a super back suplex on Shelley, and then he runs across the ring and climbs out for himself. Ha. Pwnt. Kendrick is pissed, and rightfully so.
My thoughts: Sort of a nothing match which is rather disappointing. This was obviously going to be nothing more than a spotfest, but it never really even got time to get there. It was not even five minutes long. The only thing to note here is that Brian Kendrick is an absolutely awesome dickhead heel. Anyway, nothing bad happened here, but nothing great happened either. Really, just nothing happened.
Rating: **
A hype video for an Eric Young/Kevin Nash feud. Up-and-coming guys need to stop going to Nash as a mentor. He screwed over Austin Starr and Samoa Joe, and now Eric Young too. Anyway, apparently Young is a face now after heading the World Elite a few months ago. I think that storyline was pretty much dropped without much explanation when Hogan came to town.
Match 3: Eric Young vs Kevin Nash
Recap: Young takes it to Nash right at the start and he shows good fire, but he keeps pausing to sort of pump up the crowd. In a match where your mentored turned on you, you’re probably better off getting a good reaction by sticking on the big man with scrappy punches. Nash hits a low blow behind the ref’s back, and I guess it’s a common theme that there ARE rules within the cage. Nash clubs him around, and Young keeps asking for more so Nash hits him with a chokeslam. BUT EY ASKS FOR MORE~! FIERY PUNCHES~! But then Nash kills Young with a really awesome big boot. And then he hits the Jackknife and wins clean. Lol. Oh, and Young is bleeding too. Third match in a row with meaningless blood.
My thoughts: Young looked weak here, there’s no getting around that. I’d say that Young shows potential as a babyface, but he’s been doing it in TNA for the last four years, so he really should have gotten it by now. At this point, he’ll probably always be a good, not great, babyface.
Rating: *1/2
Post-match, Nash says that since Syxx-Pac no-showed, he’ll be teaming up with Scott Hall to take on Team 3D. THE OUTSIDERS ARE BACK TOGETHER BABY.
Hype video for Sky/Rayne vs Love/Tara, and apparently there’s heat between Tara and Love because Love won the Knockouts Title by opening a box with the belt in it. Well, yeah, I’d be pissed too. Listen, wimminz wrestling is already awful enough, they really don’t need to drag it down further with atrocious storylines.
Match 4: The Beautiful People [c] vs Angelina Love[c]/Tara [Knockouts Title and Knockouts Tag Team Titles on the line]
Recap: Well, at least they’re hot. Madison Rayne is really sloppy. Anyway, Lacey Von Erich interfered and helped Madison Rayne pin Tara, which means she’s the new Knockouts Champion.
My thoughts: I think I figured out why I don’t really like women’s wrestling right here. I watch sports and I watch wrestling in order to be in awe of their ability. The point is for me to watch people who are better than me at what they do and see them try to figure out who among them is better. With women’s basketball, volleyball, tennis, etc I have no doubt that any woman could destroy me. But put me in a ring with Velvet Sky and she’s no threat. Why should I care about an athletic display between people who aren’t even better than me. It’s like midget wrestling imo. Except that midgets are hilarious. As for the match, it’s a shame that it got more time than both Young/Nash and Kendrick/Homicide/Shelley/Sabin.
Rating: 3/4*
Post-match, Tara attacks Angelina Love because … well, wait. There’s really no reason.
Team Flair is backstage, and screw what everybody says, AJ Styles looks awesome in a Flair robe. Flair cutting an insane promo with Sting watching in the back not caring is kind of awesome. Styles mentions that he’s the longest-reigning TNA Champion in history, which, if true, is sad. He’s had it six or seven months now, and it really hasn’t had anything worth noting aside from his original program against Sting.
Match 5: Homicide vs Kazarian vs Shannon Moore [X-Division Championship]
Recap: Shannon Moore should not be in this match. Or in this company, really. Anyway, this is for the now-vacant X-Division title. Cool little story up front with Moore and Kaz going right after Homicide since they don’t think he should even be in the match, but that leads to dissention between the two. Moves get done did, and Homicide hits a double cutter off the top to the other two guys! He tries to cover them both, but doesn’t get the win after either. Aaaand, Kaz is fine a few seconds later. They do more moves, with some fun three-man spots sprinkled through. Nobody is really selling anything aside from Moore selling some fatigue, but he may actually just be tired. Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Moore, but Kazarian breaks it up and then hits Homicide with a pretty sweet back-to-belly piledriver to get the pinfall.
My thoughts: One of the major benefits of a triple threat match is the ability to have two guys go at it and build a story, then have the third guy break up a finish attempt to create a false finish. In a cage, where all the guys are in close proximity, you lose that. Still an alright match with some fun spots.
Rating: **1/2
The Pope is backstage touching children. Oh, no he’s doing an interview with Hemme. He cuts an awesome promo that I didn’t understand, but it got me pumped. I’ve been skeptical about how much the IWC loves this guy, but I must say that this promo got me excited about him. We’ll see if the match does the same.
Match 6: Team 3D vs The Outsiders
Recap: Brother Ray cuts a face promo, but it makes me hate him. This match is a cage match, but also a street fight? I don’t know, but apparently pinfalls count anywhere. Who cares though, BECAUSE SCOTT HALL AND KEVIN NASH ARE TEAMING TOGETHER YESSSS. Team 3D attack on the ramp during The Band’s entrance, and the teams brawl around floor. Nash and Hall get Devon on the inside and then shut the cage to keep Ray out. He finally fights his way in with a steel chair and cleans house, but he’s still fat and obnoxious so I don’t care. Whassup Headbutt to Hall, and I was hoping for him to sell it like he just got Stone Cold Stunned. Devon gets a table and the crowd goes nuts because they’re idiots and are cheering for Team 3D over The Outsiders. Hall eats the 3D through a table and gets pinned by Brother Black.
My thoughts: This is the second time that a guy has had a second match of the night, and both times they failed to capitalize on selling any fatigue from their first match. Both ‘Cide and Nash won their first matches without taking much offense at all, so that potential storyline was lost. As for the match, it was supposed to be a fun brawl, but it was based on liking Brother Ray, which I don’t. Nash and Hall need to just go team together in WWE, methinks.
Rating: *1/2
Match 7: Kurt Angle vs Ken Anderson
Recap: Awesome, these guys supposedly want to kill each other, and they start by going for a collar-and-elbow lockup. Anderson tries to leave too soon, and it costs him and lets Angle get some good momentum. Commentary points out that Anderson just wants to win, whereas Angle wants to kill Anderson, so this does make sense so far--again, except the very beginning. Anderson ends up coming back and sends Angle into the cage and busts him open very badly. At this point, Anderson could probably escape, but the fact that Angle is now bleeding makes him want to stay and give him more punishment. THAT is a well-placed blood spot; the first good one of the night. Anderson tries to escape (by the way, escape must be done through the cage door, which is locked, though the key is at play in the match) now that Angle is down, but Angle gets up and stops him. Now we know that Anderson REALLY has to put out Angle to win, so we now have reason for both Angle and Anderson to wait for their escape. GOOD GOD THINGS MAKE SENSE HERE. Okay, now Anderson is cut open, but nothing happened? A back body drop did it, I guess. I’m being serious there; a back body drop busted Anderson's forehead open. Anderson starts to choke Angle out with his wrist tape, and Tazz says this is legal because it’s in a cage. BUT BEER AND LOW BLOWS AND TITLE BELTS TO THE FACE ARE ILLEGAL?! Get out. Anyway, Anderson may actually have just killed Angle with the tape, as Angle’s face is really really really red, but he fights back and hits a nice Olympic-style suplex that drops Anderson on his neck. They trade some HUGE strikes, and Angle eventually gets the advantage and ends up going for the Angle Slam, but Anderson counters with a power move, and then covers. Lulz, no pinfalls you fool. Angle hits SIX Germans in a row, and then COMPLETELY fails to sell the fact that he’s supposed to be dead. He has the chance to leave, but he stays and puts Anderson in the ankle lock. Bad idea, because Anderson gets out quickly and then hits the Mic Check. Anderson is smart, so he tries to leave, and he gets the door open, but Angle sneaks up and hits an Angle Slam! The door is wide open and Angle looks like he’s about to leave, BUT HE PULLS THE DOOR SHUT AND LOCKS IT AGAIN AND THROWS THE KEY OUT OF THE CAGE. Angle’s ready to rage, and Anderson looks scared shitless. At this point, I want to point out two things. One, Angle needs to be selling how dead he is, for serious. Yes, rage a little bit, but do SOMETHING to pretend like you’re tired, since you’ve lost half your body weight in blood and you were just choked out to the point that I thought you were dead. Two, now the ending to the match is wide open, since obviously neither guy can escape through the door, so things just got more interesting. Anderson decides to climb up and out of the cage, which isn’t how you can win (Tenay even stresses that), but he obviously just wants to escape the wrath of Angle. GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE SIDE OF THE CAGE WALL FROM ANGLE TO ANDERSON! Mr. Anderson is dead … dead. Angle opts to go for his Olympic Moonsault from the top of the cage. But why? He’s not a showy face, and he’s obviously not a dick heel. He just wants to kill Anderson for disrespecting the troops. That makes zero sense to me, and is clearly a ploy to create an artificial spot to GO DOWN IN THE BOOKS. Anyway, he pretty much misses, AND IT TURNS INTO A MOONSAULT HEADBUTT WHAT HOLY JESUS! Anderson is dead, for sure. But, don’t worry, Angle is fine. He crawls quickly over … with a spare key? Wtf. K, well that kills the previous spot. He opens the door and is about to leave, but Anderson calls back to him AND FLICKS HIM OFF~! Good spot, as Angle is clearly pissed at Anderson personally. But, like, Anderson is sitting on his knees and looks like he could just run over and pull Angle in. When the WWF did it, Vince McMahon was DEAD, and it was literally his only defense in getting Austin to stay in the cage. This doesn’t really make much sense with the way Anderson is selling his fatigue. Angle came back in, and Anderson surprised him with a low blow and then the Mic Check. And now Anderson is dead again. He crawls over slowly (slowly, Kurt, take notes) to the door, but Angle JUST grabs his ankle and drags him into the ring. Anderson taps, but it doesn’t matter of course. Anderson finally fights out and plants Angle. He tries to leave again, and this time he leaves legs-first to prevent himself from being put into the ankle lock again. So Angle grabs him from the neck and chokes him out with a chain, just like how Anderson choked Angle earlier with the tape. Angle spat on a dead Anderson, kicked him in the balls, and left the cage to win.
My thoughts: This has been a very well built feud, though they may have had it start too soon. I would have liked to see Anderson be a troll for a bit longer before trolling dead soldiers. Angle seems to have a problem with jumping into feuds too soon (vs Sting in the break up of MEM, and ESPECIALLY vs Joe when Angle first joined), but that’s probably the writers' fault. This match was well laid out, though some big MOVES~ were used too soon, I think. Anderson actually really impressed me here with little things to sell his desperation, fatigue, and especially his troll-like attitude. There were some major execution issues here, and that is to the fault of both guys, however there were also some very, very smart spots put in, and things were clearly thought out to make nice “aha!†moments. Awesome retribution for Angle, and Anderson definitely didn’t look weak. For the most part, the time between those spots was very solid. This was a solid performance by Kurt Angle, but an excellent performance by Ken Anderson, and I’m not a huge Anderson fan by any means.
Rating: ****
Post-match, Angle says that he’s taking some time off from TNA to regroup, but that when he comes back, he’ll be going for the TNA Championship.
The hype video for the TNA Championship match gets me even more excited for The Pope. It really puts over how excited he is for this opportunity. I just hope that his excitement plays over into the match. Also, I love Flair-esque AJ Styles, so screw you all. Styles: “There are two things you can do about it--nothing, and like it.â€
Match 8: AJ Styles[c] vs “The Pope†D’Angelo Dinero [TNA World Championship]
Recap: The crowd is really loud for Dinero, but they’re split like 75-25 which kind of sucks when the whole match is being booked as veteran heel champion vs up-and-coming babyface challenger. Burke tries to outwrestle AJ Styles, but heel AJ is still AJ, so it can’t really be done. Styles tries to send him into the cage, but Pope spots it and uses his insight to bump AJ around some, and wow the crowd loves this guy. AJ consistently proves himself as the better competitor, which is fine, because he is. The champ starts to target the leg, and he shows absolutely no sense of urgency with this challenger. Pope finally gives up trying to outwrestle him, and he just sends him flying into the cage. Pope comes back with his strikes, and he’s selling the shoulder for some reason? I guess he took a bump on it earlier, but I’m skeptical about AJ changing his offense to target the arm instead of the leg, but we’ll see. AJ does a 450 splash for no reason and it got a two-count that nobody believed would get him the win. So he goes to the top of the cage for a crossbody that got nothing, and POPE GETS A ROLL UP! ONE! TWO! THRE – NO! AJ kicks out, but Pope immediately hits the Codebreaker! ONE! TWO! THRE – Styles again kicks out. Two really awesome nearfalls. Challenger goes for the DDE, but Styles moves and Dinero bangs up his knees that Styles targeted earlier. Styles grabs a pen from outside the cage and stabs Pope in the eye, and he walks right into Styles’ awesome discus clothesline. He follows up with the Styles Clash, and it gets the win.
My thoughts: This was a fun match, though I don’t think it did much for Dinero. It definitely leaves the door open for a rematch, and hopefully Pope looks better there. Nothing spectacular, but it makes me optimistic about what Pope can eventually do.
Rating: ***1/2
Eric Bischoff arrives backstage, and okay.
Match 9: Team Flair vs Team Hogan [Lethal Lockdown]
Recap: Abyss and Roode start out, and so far I see no reason to change my mind in cheering for Team Flair. Teams get to pick their own order, so it’s incredibly stupid that the member of Team Hogan with probably the worst cardio is their first guy out. They do nothing for a while, and eventually Roode gains the advantage. It’s RVD's time to come out, and he strolls out despite the fact that his teammate is being beaten down. Wolfe comes down two minutes later, and nothing continues to happen. JEFF JARRETT COMES OUT! WHAT! I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS IN THIS MATCH YES YES YES! Okay, NOW there’s a good babyface, and his fire is awesome. Storm comes out and sells his back from earlier in the night before he even gets in, and, well, that’s refreshing. RVD keeps getting tossed into the cage, and it’s as if he told everybody in the match to keep doing that one move, because he can’t take anything else. And now James Storm eats RVD’s face to open up his cut. Jarrett and Storm are the only ones being entertaining, and now Meth Hardy’s music plays, but backstage we see him laid out with Sting over him with his baseball bat. Back in the ring, Jarrett is down, so things are boring again. RVD kind of makes a comeback against Roode, but the crowd doesn’t know who to watch so there’s no pop. Okay, now Sting comes out. Walks out. Come on people, why is nobody in a hurry? STING AND JARRETT! STING AND JARRETT! Okay, for three seconds. That should have been stressed way more, given their awesome history in TNA. A roof is lowered over the cage with weapons, and time continues to pass without anything happening. So now there’s senseless clubbering WITH WEAPONS~!~!~!~! Jarrett saves the day for a brief comeback, and he’s clearly the only one in the ring trying right now. Wow this is boring guys, I’m sorry. So, I lost my sandals the other day
Oh, Jarrett just got tossed out of the ring when Beer Money sent him flying into the cage door. Storm nails Abyss over the head with a beer bottle, and it shatters, so that’s a cool spot. JEFF HARDY’S MUSIC!! HE RUNS DOWN WITH A KENDO STICK! Well, I’m glad he’s in a hurry, but he probably shouldn’t have taken the time to tell the production guys to play his music. The crowd is hot for Hardy as he cleans house, and then Jarrett nails Wolfe with a guitar shot! And RVD hits him with a 5 Star Frog Splash! ABYSS CHOKESLAMS STING INTO SOME THUMBTACKS! Hardy climbs up to the roof of the cage, so Beer Money meets him there, and Hardy eventually hits a Swanton on Storm from a ladder and through a table. Now Flair comes out. K. He gets in the cage and tries to take Hogan’s HOF ring off of Abyss’ finger, but Hogan comes out. HOGAN AND FLAIR! HOGAN AND FLAIR! Bischoff comes out and gives Hogan brass knuckles to hit Flair, and now this match has become entirely about three people that are not in it. Bischoff, Hogan, and Flair. How is this NOT WCW? Flair does a big blade job and then does the Flair flop into thumbtacks. Abyss randomly hits Wolfe with the Black Hole Slam and wins. Wow. This undoubtedly should have ended after the chokeslam to Sting into the thumbtacks, or even the 5 Star Frog Splash to Wolfe ten minutes ago.
My thoughts: Um, well, nothing happened until Jeff Hardy came out. There was a fun series starting from Hardy running out until Sting went into the tacks, but it slowed down when Hardy and Beer Money were up on the top of the cage. After that, it was completely tainted by bull crap that doesn’t matter.
Rating: **
Team Hogan celebrates to close the show.
Overall: Pretty bad show until Angle/Anderson and Styles/Dinero. The main event was pretty lame in my opinion. It was just a cluster, and lacked any sort of structure that it had in the past, and that’s ignoring the stupid segment-within-a-match at the end.
TNA definitely has a problem with overdoing things and preventing things from being special. Obviously they have too many “big names.†Hogan was big, Flair was cool, Hardy didn’t seem as big, and why should I care about RVD? Furthermore, too much blood, and it made the important blood (Angle’s) seem not very important. I feel as though guys like Eric Young and Elijah Burke are soooo close to breaking out, but they have to wait until the “big names†clear out. And then there’s guys like Storm, Roode, and Wolfe who were being pushed pre-Hogan, but are now completely stagnant.
Show starts with introductions, and Taz has a nice zinger calling Waltman out for no showing. “I guess it’s just a case of Syxx-Pac being Syxx-Pac.†Also, Eric Bischoff isn’t here tonight which they make it sound like will be a big deal tonight. He’s probably wrestling an indy match in Minnesota. Oh, and Doug Williams was stranded in Europe so he was stripped of the X-Division Championship. It was clearly his fault that the volcano went off, so this is definitely fair.
All matches are in a cage like is customary. I really think they should reconsider that and put their main-drawing matches in cages, and then of course Lethal Lockdown in the main event.
Match 1: Rob Van Dam vs James Storm [Winner’s team has numbers advantage in Lethal Lockdown]
Recap: RVD attacks on the outside and pretty much makes Storm look like a bitch. Somehow Van Dam gets busted open by a simple head to the ring steps, so whatever. They spill back into the ring and RVD continues to make Storm look like a bitch until a really awesome neckbreaker from the corner. Storm’s offense all looks really brutal and crisp, and I just generally love the guy. RVD runs through his offense some more, and Storm sells it all just fine. Storm spits beer in RVD’s eyes behind the ref’s back (because I guess beer is illegal in a cage match?) and then hits a big DDT for a good false finish. A fun closing run without relying on big move reversals, and RVD gets the win with the Five Star Frog Splash.
My thoughts: This is 80% RVD running through his offense, but I wouldn’t say that Storm ever really looked weak. Plus, commentary touched on the fact that RVD has pretty much been a singles guy his entire career, whereas Storm is primarily a tag team wrestler. Above-average match for an opener, and the crowd dug it. I can’t and won’t complain.
Rating: ***
Backstage, Christy Hemme does an interview with Hogan and somehow this earns her the biggest Knockouts paycheck in the company. Hogan cuts a forced promo trying to put over his team, but it’s pretty clear that this type of promo isn’t his forte. He can put himself over, but that’s about it. Story of his life, I guess. He says that if Team Flair wins, he’ll “consider†walking away from TNA, and now I know who to cheer for in the main event.
Match 2: Homicide vs Brian Kendrick vs Alex Shelley vs Chris Sabin [Winner is put into X-Division title match later tonight]
Recap: I had to look up Homicide on Wikipedia, because the crowd reaction was virtually not there, so I didn’t know if he was a face or a heel. Apparently he’s a face. Anyway, right away Homicide tries to climb out of the cage, which is a smart move because it lets us know how the match is won, since it wasn’t said otherwise. Within the first minute, Kendrick is split open. I’m confused because literally the only move done on him so far is a dropkick. MCMG work together at the start, but eventually Homicide and Kendrick team up to counter it. It becomes almost a tornado tag match until Homicide encourages Kendrick to hit a super back suplex on Shelley, and then he runs across the ring and climbs out for himself. Ha. Pwnt. Kendrick is pissed, and rightfully so.
My thoughts: Sort of a nothing match which is rather disappointing. This was obviously going to be nothing more than a spotfest, but it never really even got time to get there. It was not even five minutes long. The only thing to note here is that Brian Kendrick is an absolutely awesome dickhead heel. Anyway, nothing bad happened here, but nothing great happened either. Really, just nothing happened.
Rating: **
A hype video for an Eric Young/Kevin Nash feud. Up-and-coming guys need to stop going to Nash as a mentor. He screwed over Austin Starr and Samoa Joe, and now Eric Young too. Anyway, apparently Young is a face now after heading the World Elite a few months ago. I think that storyline was pretty much dropped without much explanation when Hogan came to town.
Match 3: Eric Young vs Kevin Nash
Recap: Young takes it to Nash right at the start and he shows good fire, but he keeps pausing to sort of pump up the crowd. In a match where your mentored turned on you, you’re probably better off getting a good reaction by sticking on the big man with scrappy punches. Nash hits a low blow behind the ref’s back, and I guess it’s a common theme that there ARE rules within the cage. Nash clubs him around, and Young keeps asking for more so Nash hits him with a chokeslam. BUT EY ASKS FOR MORE~! FIERY PUNCHES~! But then Nash kills Young with a really awesome big boot. And then he hits the Jackknife and wins clean. Lol. Oh, and Young is bleeding too. Third match in a row with meaningless blood.
My thoughts: Young looked weak here, there’s no getting around that. I’d say that Young shows potential as a babyface, but he’s been doing it in TNA for the last four years, so he really should have gotten it by now. At this point, he’ll probably always be a good, not great, babyface.
Rating: *1/2
Post-match, Nash says that since Syxx-Pac no-showed, he’ll be teaming up with Scott Hall to take on Team 3D. THE OUTSIDERS ARE BACK TOGETHER BABY.
Hype video for Sky/Rayne vs Love/Tara, and apparently there’s heat between Tara and Love because Love won the Knockouts Title by opening a box with the belt in it. Well, yeah, I’d be pissed too. Listen, wimminz wrestling is already awful enough, they really don’t need to drag it down further with atrocious storylines.
Match 4: The Beautiful People [c] vs Angelina Love[c]/Tara [Knockouts Title and Knockouts Tag Team Titles on the line]
Recap: Well, at least they’re hot. Madison Rayne is really sloppy. Anyway, Lacey Von Erich interfered and helped Madison Rayne pin Tara, which means she’s the new Knockouts Champion.
My thoughts: I think I figured out why I don’t really like women’s wrestling right here. I watch sports and I watch wrestling in order to be in awe of their ability. The point is for me to watch people who are better than me at what they do and see them try to figure out who among them is better. With women’s basketball, volleyball, tennis, etc I have no doubt that any woman could destroy me. But put me in a ring with Velvet Sky and she’s no threat. Why should I care about an athletic display between people who aren’t even better than me. It’s like midget wrestling imo. Except that midgets are hilarious. As for the match, it’s a shame that it got more time than both Young/Nash and Kendrick/Homicide/Shelley/Sabin.
Rating: 3/4*
Post-match, Tara attacks Angelina Love because … well, wait. There’s really no reason.
Team Flair is backstage, and screw what everybody says, AJ Styles looks awesome in a Flair robe. Flair cutting an insane promo with Sting watching in the back not caring is kind of awesome. Styles mentions that he’s the longest-reigning TNA Champion in history, which, if true, is sad. He’s had it six or seven months now, and it really hasn’t had anything worth noting aside from his original program against Sting.
Match 5: Homicide vs Kazarian vs Shannon Moore [X-Division Championship]
Recap: Shannon Moore should not be in this match. Or in this company, really. Anyway, this is for the now-vacant X-Division title. Cool little story up front with Moore and Kaz going right after Homicide since they don’t think he should even be in the match, but that leads to dissention between the two. Moves get done did, and Homicide hits a double cutter off the top to the other two guys! He tries to cover them both, but doesn’t get the win after either. Aaaand, Kaz is fine a few seconds later. They do more moves, with some fun three-man spots sprinkled through. Nobody is really selling anything aside from Moore selling some fatigue, but he may actually just be tired. Homicide goes for the Gringo Killer on Moore, but Kazarian breaks it up and then hits Homicide with a pretty sweet back-to-belly piledriver to get the pinfall.
My thoughts: One of the major benefits of a triple threat match is the ability to have two guys go at it and build a story, then have the third guy break up a finish attempt to create a false finish. In a cage, where all the guys are in close proximity, you lose that. Still an alright match with some fun spots.
Rating: **1/2
The Pope is backstage touching children. Oh, no he’s doing an interview with Hemme. He cuts an awesome promo that I didn’t understand, but it got me pumped. I’ve been skeptical about how much the IWC loves this guy, but I must say that this promo got me excited about him. We’ll see if the match does the same.
Match 6: Team 3D vs The Outsiders
Recap: Brother Ray cuts a face promo, but it makes me hate him. This match is a cage match, but also a street fight? I don’t know, but apparently pinfalls count anywhere. Who cares though, BECAUSE SCOTT HALL AND KEVIN NASH ARE TEAMING TOGETHER YESSSS. Team 3D attack on the ramp during The Band’s entrance, and the teams brawl around floor. Nash and Hall get Devon on the inside and then shut the cage to keep Ray out. He finally fights his way in with a steel chair and cleans house, but he’s still fat and obnoxious so I don’t care. Whassup Headbutt to Hall, and I was hoping for him to sell it like he just got Stone Cold Stunned. Devon gets a table and the crowd goes nuts because they’re idiots and are cheering for Team 3D over The Outsiders. Hall eats the 3D through a table and gets pinned by Brother Black.
My thoughts: This is the second time that a guy has had a second match of the night, and both times they failed to capitalize on selling any fatigue from their first match. Both ‘Cide and Nash won their first matches without taking much offense at all, so that potential storyline was lost. As for the match, it was supposed to be a fun brawl, but it was based on liking Brother Ray, which I don’t. Nash and Hall need to just go team together in WWE, methinks.
Rating: *1/2
Match 7: Kurt Angle vs Ken Anderson
Recap: Awesome, these guys supposedly want to kill each other, and they start by going for a collar-and-elbow lockup. Anderson tries to leave too soon, and it costs him and lets Angle get some good momentum. Commentary points out that Anderson just wants to win, whereas Angle wants to kill Anderson, so this does make sense so far--again, except the very beginning. Anderson ends up coming back and sends Angle into the cage and busts him open very badly. At this point, Anderson could probably escape, but the fact that Angle is now bleeding makes him want to stay and give him more punishment. THAT is a well-placed blood spot; the first good one of the night. Anderson tries to escape (by the way, escape must be done through the cage door, which is locked, though the key is at play in the match) now that Angle is down, but Angle gets up and stops him. Now we know that Anderson REALLY has to put out Angle to win, so we now have reason for both Angle and Anderson to wait for their escape. GOOD GOD THINGS MAKE SENSE HERE. Okay, now Anderson is cut open, but nothing happened? A back body drop did it, I guess. I’m being serious there; a back body drop busted Anderson's forehead open. Anderson starts to choke Angle out with his wrist tape, and Tazz says this is legal because it’s in a cage. BUT BEER AND LOW BLOWS AND TITLE BELTS TO THE FACE ARE ILLEGAL?! Get out. Anyway, Anderson may actually have just killed Angle with the tape, as Angle’s face is really really really red, but he fights back and hits a nice Olympic-style suplex that drops Anderson on his neck. They trade some HUGE strikes, and Angle eventually gets the advantage and ends up going for the Angle Slam, but Anderson counters with a power move, and then covers. Lulz, no pinfalls you fool. Angle hits SIX Germans in a row, and then COMPLETELY fails to sell the fact that he’s supposed to be dead. He has the chance to leave, but he stays and puts Anderson in the ankle lock. Bad idea, because Anderson gets out quickly and then hits the Mic Check. Anderson is smart, so he tries to leave, and he gets the door open, but Angle sneaks up and hits an Angle Slam! The door is wide open and Angle looks like he’s about to leave, BUT HE PULLS THE DOOR SHUT AND LOCKS IT AGAIN AND THROWS THE KEY OUT OF THE CAGE. Angle’s ready to rage, and Anderson looks scared shitless. At this point, I want to point out two things. One, Angle needs to be selling how dead he is, for serious. Yes, rage a little bit, but do SOMETHING to pretend like you’re tired, since you’ve lost half your body weight in blood and you were just choked out to the point that I thought you were dead. Two, now the ending to the match is wide open, since obviously neither guy can escape through the door, so things just got more interesting. Anderson decides to climb up and out of the cage, which isn’t how you can win (Tenay even stresses that), but he obviously just wants to escape the wrath of Angle. GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE SIDE OF THE CAGE WALL FROM ANGLE TO ANDERSON! Mr. Anderson is dead … dead. Angle opts to go for his Olympic Moonsault from the top of the cage. But why? He’s not a showy face, and he’s obviously not a dick heel. He just wants to kill Anderson for disrespecting the troops. That makes zero sense to me, and is clearly a ploy to create an artificial spot to GO DOWN IN THE BOOKS. Anyway, he pretty much misses, AND IT TURNS INTO A MOONSAULT HEADBUTT WHAT HOLY JESUS! Anderson is dead, for sure. But, don’t worry, Angle is fine. He crawls quickly over … with a spare key? Wtf. K, well that kills the previous spot. He opens the door and is about to leave, but Anderson calls back to him AND FLICKS HIM OFF~! Good spot, as Angle is clearly pissed at Anderson personally. But, like, Anderson is sitting on his knees and looks like he could just run over and pull Angle in. When the WWF did it, Vince McMahon was DEAD, and it was literally his only defense in getting Austin to stay in the cage. This doesn’t really make much sense with the way Anderson is selling his fatigue. Angle came back in, and Anderson surprised him with a low blow and then the Mic Check. And now Anderson is dead again. He crawls over slowly (slowly, Kurt, take notes) to the door, but Angle JUST grabs his ankle and drags him into the ring. Anderson taps, but it doesn’t matter of course. Anderson finally fights out and plants Angle. He tries to leave again, and this time he leaves legs-first to prevent himself from being put into the ankle lock again. So Angle grabs him from the neck and chokes him out with a chain, just like how Anderson choked Angle earlier with the tape. Angle spat on a dead Anderson, kicked him in the balls, and left the cage to win.
My thoughts: This has been a very well built feud, though they may have had it start too soon. I would have liked to see Anderson be a troll for a bit longer before trolling dead soldiers. Angle seems to have a problem with jumping into feuds too soon (vs Sting in the break up of MEM, and ESPECIALLY vs Joe when Angle first joined), but that’s probably the writers' fault. This match was well laid out, though some big MOVES~ were used too soon, I think. Anderson actually really impressed me here with little things to sell his desperation, fatigue, and especially his troll-like attitude. There were some major execution issues here, and that is to the fault of both guys, however there were also some very, very smart spots put in, and things were clearly thought out to make nice “aha!†moments. Awesome retribution for Angle, and Anderson definitely didn’t look weak. For the most part, the time between those spots was very solid. This was a solid performance by Kurt Angle, but an excellent performance by Ken Anderson, and I’m not a huge Anderson fan by any means.
Rating: ****
Post-match, Angle says that he’s taking some time off from TNA to regroup, but that when he comes back, he’ll be going for the TNA Championship.
The hype video for the TNA Championship match gets me even more excited for The Pope. It really puts over how excited he is for this opportunity. I just hope that his excitement plays over into the match. Also, I love Flair-esque AJ Styles, so screw you all. Styles: “There are two things you can do about it--nothing, and like it.â€
Match 8: AJ Styles[c] vs “The Pope†D’Angelo Dinero [TNA World Championship]
Recap: The crowd is really loud for Dinero, but they’re split like 75-25 which kind of sucks when the whole match is being booked as veteran heel champion vs up-and-coming babyface challenger. Burke tries to outwrestle AJ Styles, but heel AJ is still AJ, so it can’t really be done. Styles tries to send him into the cage, but Pope spots it and uses his insight to bump AJ around some, and wow the crowd loves this guy. AJ consistently proves himself as the better competitor, which is fine, because he is. The champ starts to target the leg, and he shows absolutely no sense of urgency with this challenger. Pope finally gives up trying to outwrestle him, and he just sends him flying into the cage. Pope comes back with his strikes, and he’s selling the shoulder for some reason? I guess he took a bump on it earlier, but I’m skeptical about AJ changing his offense to target the arm instead of the leg, but we’ll see. AJ does a 450 splash for no reason and it got a two-count that nobody believed would get him the win. So he goes to the top of the cage for a crossbody that got nothing, and POPE GETS A ROLL UP! ONE! TWO! THRE – NO! AJ kicks out, but Pope immediately hits the Codebreaker! ONE! TWO! THRE – Styles again kicks out. Two really awesome nearfalls. Challenger goes for the DDE, but Styles moves and Dinero bangs up his knees that Styles targeted earlier. Styles grabs a pen from outside the cage and stabs Pope in the eye, and he walks right into Styles’ awesome discus clothesline. He follows up with the Styles Clash, and it gets the win.
My thoughts: This was a fun match, though I don’t think it did much for Dinero. It definitely leaves the door open for a rematch, and hopefully Pope looks better there. Nothing spectacular, but it makes me optimistic about what Pope can eventually do.
Rating: ***1/2
Eric Bischoff arrives backstage, and okay.
Match 9: Team Flair vs Team Hogan [Lethal Lockdown]
Recap: Abyss and Roode start out, and so far I see no reason to change my mind in cheering for Team Flair. Teams get to pick their own order, so it’s incredibly stupid that the member of Team Hogan with probably the worst cardio is their first guy out. They do nothing for a while, and eventually Roode gains the advantage. It’s RVD's time to come out, and he strolls out despite the fact that his teammate is being beaten down. Wolfe comes down two minutes later, and nothing continues to happen. JEFF JARRETT COMES OUT! WHAT! I DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS IN THIS MATCH YES YES YES! Okay, NOW there’s a good babyface, and his fire is awesome. Storm comes out and sells his back from earlier in the night before he even gets in, and, well, that’s refreshing. RVD keeps getting tossed into the cage, and it’s as if he told everybody in the match to keep doing that one move, because he can’t take anything else. And now James Storm eats RVD’s face to open up his cut. Jarrett and Storm are the only ones being entertaining, and now Meth Hardy’s music plays, but backstage we see him laid out with Sting over him with his baseball bat. Back in the ring, Jarrett is down, so things are boring again. RVD kind of makes a comeback against Roode, but the crowd doesn’t know who to watch so there’s no pop. Okay, now Sting comes out. Walks out. Come on people, why is nobody in a hurry? STING AND JARRETT! STING AND JARRETT! Okay, for three seconds. That should have been stressed way more, given their awesome history in TNA. A roof is lowered over the cage with weapons, and time continues to pass without anything happening. So now there’s senseless clubbering WITH WEAPONS~!~!~!~! Jarrett saves the day for a brief comeback, and he’s clearly the only one in the ring trying right now. Wow this is boring guys, I’m sorry. So, I lost my sandals the other day
Oh, Jarrett just got tossed out of the ring when Beer Money sent him flying into the cage door. Storm nails Abyss over the head with a beer bottle, and it shatters, so that’s a cool spot. JEFF HARDY’S MUSIC!! HE RUNS DOWN WITH A KENDO STICK! Well, I’m glad he’s in a hurry, but he probably shouldn’t have taken the time to tell the production guys to play his music. The crowd is hot for Hardy as he cleans house, and then Jarrett nails Wolfe with a guitar shot! And RVD hits him with a 5 Star Frog Splash! ABYSS CHOKESLAMS STING INTO SOME THUMBTACKS! Hardy climbs up to the roof of the cage, so Beer Money meets him there, and Hardy eventually hits a Swanton on Storm from a ladder and through a table. Now Flair comes out. K. He gets in the cage and tries to take Hogan’s HOF ring off of Abyss’ finger, but Hogan comes out. HOGAN AND FLAIR! HOGAN AND FLAIR! Bischoff comes out and gives Hogan brass knuckles to hit Flair, and now this match has become entirely about three people that are not in it. Bischoff, Hogan, and Flair. How is this NOT WCW? Flair does a big blade job and then does the Flair flop into thumbtacks. Abyss randomly hits Wolfe with the Black Hole Slam and wins. Wow. This undoubtedly should have ended after the chokeslam to Sting into the thumbtacks, or even the 5 Star Frog Splash to Wolfe ten minutes ago.My thoughts: Um, well, nothing happened until Jeff Hardy came out. There was a fun series starting from Hardy running out until Sting went into the tacks, but it slowed down when Hardy and Beer Money were up on the top of the cage. After that, it was completely tainted by bull crap that doesn’t matter.
Rating: **
Team Hogan celebrates to close the show.
Overall: Pretty bad show until Angle/Anderson and Styles/Dinero. The main event was pretty lame in my opinion. It was just a cluster, and lacked any sort of structure that it had in the past, and that’s ignoring the stupid segment-within-a-match at the end.
TNA definitely has a problem with overdoing things and preventing things from being special. Obviously they have too many “big names.†Hogan was big, Flair was cool, Hardy didn’t seem as big, and why should I care about RVD? Furthermore, too much blood, and it made the important blood (Angle’s) seem not very important. I feel as though guys like Eric Young and Elijah Burke are soooo close to breaking out, but they have to wait until the “big names†clear out. And then there’s guys like Storm, Roode, and Wolfe who were being pushed pre-Hogan, but are now completely stagnant.
worthy. I was just like, ummmmm what?