The WWF brand split; a low effort BTB

[Rawr]

>Rawr’s low effort BTB.

>WWF 2002.

> The rules.
> Beginning at the first brand-split, wrestlers will be drafted to either Raw or Smackdown by random number generator (RNG).
> All matches (including participants, number of participants, stipulations, prizes, and results) will be determined by RNG.
> The shows will be presented in a low-effort format
> Raw and Smackdown will feature 6 matches per show, wins and losses will be tracked.
> A cycle will consist of 4 episodes of Raw, 4 episodes of Smackdown, and a pay-per-view.
> On pay-per-views all championships will be defended, this will be the only time that a participant(s) in a match (the champion) will be predetermined.
> Pay-per-views will be 10 matches long and can feature cross-band matches, meaning championships can switch brands.

> Author’s notes.
> I’ll play with the concept a little bit as far as PPVs go. I have a few themed shows planned.
> Betting is encouraged on the Discord.
> Take a drink every time I accidentally write “Rawr” instead of “Raw”.


> Pay-per-view Schedule
January - Royal Rumble
February - No Way Out
March - Wrestlemania
April - Backlash
May - Judgement Day
June - King of the Ring
July - Vengeance
August - Summerslam
September - Unforgiven
October - No Mercy
November - Survivor Series
December - Armageddon

> Champions
WWF Undisputed - Scott Hall (Smackdown)
WWF World Tag Team - Billy Gunn & Chuck Palumbo (Smackdown)
WWF Intercontinental - Rob Van Dam ( Smackdown)
WWF European - William Regal (Raw)
WWF Hardcore - Maven (Raw)
WWF Cruiserweight - Tajiri (Raw)
WWF Women’s - Jazz (Raw)


> Raw Roster
> Owner - Ric Flair

Name	Record (WIN-LOSS-DRAW)	Championship History
Albert	0-0-0
Big Boss Man	0-0-0
Big Show	0-1-0
Booker T	0-1-0
Bradshaw	0-0-0
Brock Lesnar	0-0-0
Chris Benoit	0-1-0
Chris Jericho	0-0-1
D-Von Dudley	0-0-0
Jacqueline	0-0-0
Jazz	0-1-0	1x Women’s Champion
Jeff Hardy	0-0-0
Kane	1-0-0
Kevin Nash	0-1-0
Kurt Angle	0-1-0
Lance Storm	0-0-1
Lita	1-0-0
Matt Hardy	0-1-0
Maven	1-0-0	1x Hardcore Champion
Mighty Molly	0-0-0
Mr. Perfect	1-0-0
Perry Saturn	0-1-0
Rikishi	1-0-0
Shawn Stasiak	0-0-0
Stacy Keibler	0-1-0
Stephanie McMahon	0-1-0
Steven Richards	1-0-0
Tajiri	0-1-0	1x Cruiserweight Champion
Tazz	0-1-0
Test	0-0-0
Tommy Dreamer	0-0-0
William Regal	0-0-0	1x European Champion

> Smackdown Roster
> Co-owner - Vince McMahon

Name	Record	Championship History
Al Snow	0-1-0
Billy Gunn	0-1-0	1x World Tag Team Champion
Billy Kidman	0-1-0
Bubba Ray Dudley	1-0-0
Christian	0-0-0
Chuck Palumbo	0-1-0	1x World Tag Team Champion
Crash Holly	0-1-0
D'Lo Brown	1-0-0
Diamond Dallas Page	0-0-0
Edge	1-0-0
Faarooq	0-1-0
Goldust	1-0-0
Hardcore Holly	0-1-0
Hulk Hogan	0-1-0
Ivory	1-0-0
Justin Credible	0-0-0
Mark Henry	0-1-0
Raven	0-1-0
Rob Van Dam	0-1-0	1x Intercontinental Champion
Scott Hall	1-0-0	1x Undisputed Champion
Scotty 2 Hotty	0-1-0
Spike Dudley	0-1-0
Steve Austin	1-0-0
Terri	0-1-0
The Hurricane	0-1-0
The Rock	0-1-0
The Undertaker	1-0-0
Torrie Wilson	0-1-0
Triple H	0-1-0	1x Undisputed Champion
Trish Stratus	0-1-0
Val Venis	0-1-0
X-Pac	0-1-0

​

 

[Rawr]

> The Draft

> Representing Smackdown and the winner of our (randomly generated coin toss) is Vince McMahon who will make the first draft pick. His opponent Ric Flair seems undeterred.

> Vince: “That coin toss isn’t all you’re going to lose in this draft Flair! Because I am going to select THE Superstar that’s guaranteed to make Smackdown the most watched WWE program.”

“My first, no, THE first draft pick for some reason is none other than Val Venis!”

> Smackdown #1 Val Venis

> Ric Flair still seems undeterred.

> Flair: “Monday Night Raw selects Kurt Angle as its first draft pick, WOOOOOO!”

> Raw #1 Kurt Angle

> In the distance a victorious scream of “YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!” can be heard.

> Vince: “DAMMIT! Why didn’t I draft him?! I’ll make up for it with my second draft pick. A SUPER Superstar. The Hurricane!”

> Smackdown #2 The Hurricane

> Stylin’ and profiling, Ric Flair approaches the podium and selects Bradshaw as his second draft pick.

> Raw #2 Bradshaw

> McMahon is sweating now, and selects Raven in response!

> Smackdown #3 Raven

> But Flair is still cool, he selects the WWF European Champion as his third pick.

> Flair: “And Monday Night Raw secures its first championship. The most prestigious championship. WOOOOOO!”

> Raw #3 William Regal

> Vince: “Screw this, if you’re gonna waste picks on champions then I’m taking the cream of the crop! Smackdown chooses Ivory!”

> Smackdown #4 Ivory

> Flair: “Raw’s number four pick is RAVEN! What, he’s taken? I meant MAVEN!”

> Raw #4 Maven

> Vince: “Since you picked Bradshaw, I am also going to pick a tag team wrestler! Bubba Ray Dudley!”

> Smackdown #5 Bubba Ray Dudley

> Flair: “That’s a low blow McMahon, but I can play dirty too. I chose Stephanie McMahon!”

> Vince: “She is not eligible for this draft!”

> Flair: “She’s on the list (taken from Wikipedia), so she is eligible! WOOOOOOO!”

> Raw #5 Stephanie McMahon

> Vince is visibly sweating. In spite of the fact that he had first pick in the draft he feels that Raw is doing a better job with their selections. In a panic he chooses Crash Holly!

> Smackdown #6 Crash Holly

> And Raw selects Kane.

> Raw #6 Kane

> Vince can be heard swearing off mic as he frantically approaches the podium. He looks out amongst the remaining available talent, some big main event stars avoid his glance but his eyes are still drawn to one talent in particular.

> Vince: “Smackdown selects Terri!”

> Smackdown #7 Terri

> Flair: “If you’re picking a blonde then I’m getting one too. Mighty Molly, you’re on Raw. Space Mountain, WOOOOOOOO!”

> Raw #7 Mighty Molly

> Vince McMahon selects Billy “The” Kidman.

> Smackdown #8 Billy Kidman

> Flair: “Jay-quellin!”

> Jacqueline: “It’s Jacqueline actually.”

> Fair breaks his clipboard over his knee.

> Raw #8 Jacqueline

> Vince: “My next pick is the man who I was single handedly responsible for making the Superstar he is today! A legend. The People’s Champion. The Ro- DDP!”

> Smackdown #9 Diamond Dallas Page

> Flair: “Woooo! Me and this man go way back, Wooooo! Muta! The Great Muta, Mutoh! You’re on Raw!”

> Tajiri looks none too pleased with this faux pas.

> Raw #9 Tajiri

> Vince: “Dammit! I’m picking another WCW Champion, Faarooq, we’re breaking up the APA!”

> DAMN! intensifies.

> Smackdown #10 Faarooq

> Flair: “[redacted]”

> Raw #10 Chris Benoit

> Vince: “Achoo! I want the pretty one with the long wet hair who does the spear!”

> Smackdown #11 Edge

> Flair: “I’ll take the other [redacted]”

> Raw #11 Steven Richards

> Vince closes his eyes and points to a random face in the available talent pool to select his next pick.

> Smackdown #12 D'Lo Brown

> Flair appears to be a few drinks in at this point, but is still well and truly on his feet when he selects the Bossman as his next pick.

> Raw #12 Big Boss Man

> Vince’s strategy of blind selection actually works out for him as he selects one half of the World Tag Team Champions.

> Smackdown #13 Chuck Palumbo

> Flair is spotted backstage watching a video from late last year. He turns to the camera and asks “How’s your lips?”

> Raw #13 Rikishi

> Vince: “They’re fine.”

> Vince: “My next pick is the man who I was single handedly responsible for making the Superstar he is today! A legend. The People’s Champion. The Rock!”

> The Rock is clearly flustered, having been picked after the likes of Val Venis, The Big Boss Man, Terri, and Crash Holly.

> Smackdown #14 The Rock

> Flair tries Vince’s tactic of closing his eyes and pointing to someone at random.

> Raw #14 Albert

> Vince eyes the remaining Superstars, he spots a member of the Kliq and selects him.

> Smackdown #15 Justin Credible

> Flair opens his eyes and spots a familiar face from his WCW days and decides to draft him.

> Raw #15 Perry Saturn

> Vince recoils in disgust before pulling a cardboard blue dot from out of his jacket pocket.

> Vince: “That’s better, I’ll take Christian!”

> Smackdown #16 Christian

> In a rage, Flair chooses the closest Canadian to him.

> Raw #16 Test

> Vince: “I’ve put a thousand companies out of business with this man, and I’ll put your brand out of business with him.”

> Real American intensifies.

> Smackdown #17 Hulk Hogan

> Flair: “Wait, there’s actually a Woman’s Championship?”

> Raw #17 Jazz

> Vince is overwhelmed by the choices left and decides on choosing using eeny, meeny. He is dismayed when Scotty 2 Hotty is selected as “out”.

> Smackdown #18 Scotty 2 Hotty

> Flair: “Jeff Harvy.”

> Raw #18 Jeff Hardy

> Vince: “Torrie Wilson!”

> Smackdown #19 Torrie Wilson

> Flair: “More Dubbia C Dubbia alumni, Woooo! Lance Storm, get over here baby!”

> Raw #19 Lance Storm

> Vince: “Dammit! Goldust, come finish your story.”

> Smackdown #20 Goldust

> Flair: “More Dubbia C Dubbia alumni, Woooo! Kevin Nash, get over here baby!”

> Raw #20 Kevin Nash

> Vince: “Dammit, how many more of these are there? Fine, I’ll take the Undertaker.”

> Smackdown #21 The Undertaker

> Flair: “The other Hardy.”

> Raw #21 Matt Hardy

> Vince eyes a member of the Kliq amongst the remaining Superstars.

> Smackdown #22 X-Pac

> More Dubbia C Dubbia…yadda yadda…

> Raw #22 Mr. Perfect

> Vince: “Woman from that segment that won’t age even more horribly by 2024!”

> Smackdown #23 Trish Stratus

> Something, something WCW.

> Raw #23 Booker T

> Vince: “Seriously, how many more picks are there? You there, only ECW guy I didn’t bury, get on my brand!”

> Smackdown #24 Rob Van Dam

> Flair: “I’ll take the roided out one.”

> Raw #24 Brock Lesnar

> Vince: “I’ll take the roided out one!”

> Smackdown #25 Hardcore Holly

> Flair: “Then I’ll take Tazz!”

> Raw #25 Tazz

> Vince: “Damn it, I wanted Tazz. I was saving this pick for last but I’ll have to resort to picking him now. Stone Cold!”

> Smackdown #26 Steve Austin

> Flair: “But seriously, how many more of these are there left?”

> Raw #26 Shawn Stasiak

> Vince: “Billy, it’s time to continue your singles push!”

> Smackdown #27 Billy Gunn

> Flair: “I actually have a Women’s division?”

> Raw #27 Lita

> Vince spots a member of the Kliq.

> Smackdown #28 Scott Hall

> WCW WOOO!

> Raw #28 Big Show

> Vince snorts, he’s fed up with this draft and goes back to the well.

> Vince: “If Val Venis wasn’t available for my first draft pick, I’d have chosen this man instead!”

> Smackdown #29 Al Snow

> Flair selects another WCW alumni.

> Raw #29 Stacy Keibler

> Vince: “I’ll pick another one of those OVER ECW guys.”

> Smackdown #30 Spike Dudley

> Flair: “I’ll pick one of those ECW guys!”

> Raw #30 Tommy Dreamer

> Vince closes his eyes yet again, and selects Mark Henry.

> Smackdown #31 Mark Henry

> Flair does the same, choosing D-Von Dudley.

> Raw #31 D-Von Dudley

> Vince: “Who the hell is even left?”

> Vince has broken out into a sweat, his teeth are clenched and he is just out of options. He looks to the two available Superstars remaining, one of whom has the WWF Undisputed Championship strapped around his waist.

> Triple H: “Maybe you might want to choose me?”

> Vince: “Paul! Yes, I’ll choose THE GAME!”

> Smackdown #32 Triple H

> Leaving Chris Jericho as Raw’s final and default pick.

> Raw #32 Chris Jericho​

​

 

[AON]

I love you so much.

 

[Rawr]

> The road to Backlash

> Raw #1
>Card
> Singles
Lance Storm vs Chris Jericho
> Fatal Four Way
Tazz vs Chris Benoit vs Kane vs Big Show
> Fatal Four Way
Matt Hardy vs Tajiri vs Kevin Nash vs Maven
> Triple Threat
Kurt Angle vs Perry Saturn vs Rikishi
> Triple Threat
Steven Richards vs Stacey Keibler vs Jazz
> Tag Team
Stephanie McMahon & Booker T vs Mr Perfect & Lita


> Smackdown #1
>Card
> Tag Team
Mark Henry & Spike Dudley vs Ivory & D’lo Brown
> Singles
Al Snow vs Goldust
> 7 Person Battle Royal
Terri vs Faarooq vs The Hurricane vs The Undertaker vs Hardcore Holly vs Val Venis vs Billy Kidman
> Tag Team
Trish Stratus & Hulk Hogan vs Bubba Ray Dudley & Steve Austin
> Singles
Edge vs Scotty 2 Hotty
> WWF Undisputed Championship - 10 Person Battle Royal
Triple H (c) vs Scott Hall vs Billy Gunn vs X-Pac vs The Rock vs Raven vs Chuck Palumbo vs Crash Holly vs Rob Van Dam vs Torrie Wilson​

​

Friendly reminder that these cards are entirely decided by RNG, though I have opted not to have anyone pull double duty. I'm still toying with the formatting of the shows but should settle on and post something by the weekend. I've noticed while generating these cards that the Cruiserweight and Women's Championships are going to be the most scarcely defended belts in this run. Does that make them more or less prestigious?

@AON love you buddy.

 

[Rosie]

Lance vs Jericho, actually a good match.

Also... Are we getting WWF Undisputed Champion Torrie Wilson!?

 

[Rawr]

> Raw #1
Attendance 83,930

> We open on a lavish fireworks display before our opening match.

> Match #1 Singles
Lance Storm vs Chris Jericho
> The match begins with a brisk pace as Jericho and Storm are transported back to their days training together in the Hart Dungeon. Both experiencing PTSD from having not actually trained with any notable Harts.
> They’re evenly matched, so much so that both men attempt to small-package one another and both end up with their shoulders pinned to the mat for a three count.
> Result: DRAW via DOUBLE PINFALL

> After the match both men shake hands. This draw will likely not be followed up on.

> No follow up segment.

> Match #2 Fatal Four Way
Tazz vs Chris Benoit vs Kane vs Big Show
> Tazz starts the match by suplexing the Big Show, dumping him right onto his head. Benoit tries the same with Kane, going for a German, but struggles as the big man fights back. Tazz grabs them both and delivers a German of his own.
> The action is chaotic but eventually settles into the standard Four-Way format of two people in the ring while two recover on the outside.
> We go to commercial just as Kane applies a rest hold on Benoit. When we come back Benoit has no choice but to tap out.
> Result: Kane wins via SUBMISSION on Chris Benoit

> We cut backstage where Kurt Angle is hyping himself up for his upcoming match.
“YEEEEEEEAH!”

> Match #3 Fatal Four Way
Matt Hardy vs Tajiri vs Kevin Nash vs Maven
> An unsuspecting Kevin Nash is dropkicked from behind by Maven, sending him tumbling over the top rope and to the floor where he spends the rest of the match laying down and clutching at his quad.
> Tajiri kicks the ever loving fuck out of everyone. Including a prone Nash on the outside, grabbing his enormous legs and kicking his quads just for funsies.
> Unfortunately Tajiri falls victim to the dreaded HEADLOCK from Maven and is forced to submit.
> Result: Maven wins via SUBMISSION on Tajiri

> No follow up segment.

> Match #4 Triple Threat
Kurt Angle vs Perry Saturn vs Rikishi
> Kurt is a house of fire from the get go, screaming as he delivers clotheslines, suplexes, and Angle Slams to both of his opponents.
> Saturn shuts him down with a DVD.
> Eventually Rikishi clears the ring and hits a Banzai Drop on Kurt’s back. Rikishi sits on Kurt until the Gold Medalist submits.
> Result: Rikishi wins via SUBMISSION on Kurt Angle

> We dedicate a segment to Tommy Dreamer who is upset about not being booked on the inaugural Raw post-brand split. Critics wonder why TV time was wasted on this.

> Match #5 Triple Threat
Steven Richards vs Stacey Keibler vs Jazz
> Stacey and Jazz team up to take down Steven, but Stacey proves to be useless so Jazz resorts to fighting Steven herself. She is successful.
> After dispatching Steven, Jazz leaves herself open for Stacey to attack her from behind. Stacey assaults Jazz with her dreaded “LIFT HER FOOT UP TO OPPONENT’S FACE UNTIL THE REF COUNTS TO 4 THEN REPEAT”
> Steven hits Stacey with a Superkick then takes Jazz down with a headlock takeover and Jazz taps out.
> Result: Steven Richards wins via SUBMISSION on Jazz

> Backstage, Chris Jericho enters Ric Flair’s office and demands a rematch with Lance Storm. Lance also enters Ric’s office to demand the same. Flair throws his hands up, he’ll be damned if wrestlers want to book their own matches, then kicks them out of his office.

> Main Event: Tag Team
Stephanie McMahon & Booker T vs Mr Perfect & Lita
> Mr. Perfect and Stephanie start things out. There is a lengthy feeling out process but eventually Mr. Perfect is able to take control with a perfectly timed back elbow. He and Lita cut the ring in half and work over Stephanie.
> Stephanie makes the hot tag to Booker T who takes Lita’s head off with a jumping side-kick, then hits the Book End on Mr. Perfect.
> Stephanie tags back in, looking to finish Lita off with a LOW BLOW but is unaware that Mr. Perfect has made the blind tag. Mr. Perfect throws Stephanie outside the ring then hits her with the Perfect Plex.
> Mr. Perfect waits it out as the referee counts out Stephanie McMahon.
> Result: Mr. Perfect & Lita win via COUNT OUT​

​

> Smackdown #1
Attendance 97,079

> Match #1 Tag Team
Mark Henry & Spike Dudley vs Ivory & D’lo Brown
> The match is explosive from the bell. D’lo and Spike start things out, the match is fast paced with D’lo absolutely bodying Spike. The plucky Dudley refuses to give him an inch however.
> Both men tag out and Ivory is unfortunately manhandled by Mark Henry. The World’s Strongest Man lives up to his moniker much to the horror of the live audience who think it’s okay for Spike to regularly be on the receiving end of this sort of punishment.
> After the break Ivory hits an enzi on Spike, allowing her to make the hot tag to D’lo. D’lo cleans house but Spike manages to fight him off and tag Mark back in. Ivory makes the blind tag on D’lo and grabs an unsuspecting Mark Henry in a sleeper hold, forcing him to tap out.
> Result: Ivory & D’lo Brown win via SUBMISSION

> No follow up segment.

> Match #2 Singles
Al Snow vs Goldust
> The crowd is bored beyond belief as Al Snow and Goldust work a classic Attitude Era style match. There’s boring brawling, boring mat work, and boring rest holds.
> Eventually the monotony proves to be too much for Al who simply walks out of the match and is counted out.
> Result: Goldust wins via COUNT OUT

> Edge is backstage and hypes up his upcoming match against Scotty 2 Hotty, promising to beat him in record time.

> Match #3 7 Person Battle Royal
Terri vs Faarooq vs The Hurricane vs The Undertaker vs Hardcore Holly vs Val Venis vs Billy Kidman
> Val Venis is eliminated first by Hardcore Holly via SUBMISSION after Holly applied a wrist lock on the unsuspecting Val.
> The Hurricane is eliminated by The Undertaker via SUBMISSION after Taker threatens to subject the superhero to “DA BEST PURE STRIKES IN DA BIZ”
> Terri is eliminated by Hardcore Holly via PINFALL after all the remaining participants subject her to finisher spam. A Dominator, followed by a Shooting Star Splash, followed by “DA BEST PURE STRIKES”, followed by an Alabama Slam.
> Billy Kidman by Farooq via PINFALL after Farooq hit “THE SICKEST FUCKING DOMINATOR I’VE EVER SEEN, COLE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!”
> Hardcore Holly by The Undertaker via PINFALL following a Tombstone or whatever.
> Farooq by The Undertaker via PINFALL following a Chokeslam or whatever.
> Result: The Undertaker wins.

> No follow up segment.

> Match #4 > Tag Team
Trish Stratus & Hulk Hogan vs Bubba Ray Dudley & Steve Austin
> The place erupts as Hogan and Austin start things out. Austin of course gets a bigger and longer sustained pop than the Hulkster who walks out on the match, refusing to fight a bigger star than him.
> Result: Bubba Ray Dudley & Steve Austin win via COUNT OUT

> No follow up segment.

> Match #5 Singles
Edge vs Scotty 2 Hotty
> Scotty is not happy about Edge’s comments from earlier. Just after the bell rings he kicks Edge square in the balls, drawing a disqualification.
> Result: Edge wins via DQ

> D’lo Brown and Ivory are celebrating their victory backstage. They vow to win the WWF World Tag Team Championship down the road. Their chances are not likely.

> Main Event: WWF Undisputed Championship - 10 Person Battle Royal
Triple H (c) vs Scott Hall vs Billy Gunn vs X-Pac vs The Rock vs Raven vs Chuck Palumbo vs Crash Holly vs Rob Van Dam vs Torrie Wilson
> Chuck Palumbo is eliminated by Billy Gunn via PINFALL after Gunn turns on his partner in favour of his former DX and Kliq buddies.
> Torrie Wilson by X-Pac via PINFALL after X-Pac hits three X-Factors.
> Rob Van Dam by Crash Holly via SUBMISSION after Crash Holly catches Rob in a triangle choke whilst Rob was going for the Frog Splash.
> Crash Holly by The Rock via PINFALL after the Rock hits the Rock Bottom.
> Raven by X-Pac via SUBMISSION after X-Pac sets up for the Bronco Buster.
> X-Pac by Billy Gunn via SUBMISSION after Billy accidentally puts X-Pac in a headlock while aiming for the Rock.
> The Rock by Billy Gunn via PINFALL after Billy realises his mistake and quickly hits the Famouser.
> Triple H by Scott Hall via PINFALL after Scott Hall accidentally trips the Game and falls down on top of him.
> Billy Gunn by Scott Hall via SUBMISSION after Hall hits the Razor’s Edge then applies a rear-chinlock.

> Quick Results > Raw > Lance Storme & Chris Jericho draw via double pinfall. > Kane defeats Tazz, Chris Benoit, & The Big Show > Maven defeats Matt Hardy, Tajiri, & Kevin Nash > Rikishi defeats Kurt Angle, & Perry Saturn > Steven Richards defeats Stacey Keibler, & Jazz > Mr. Perfect & Lita defeat Stephanie McMahon & Booker T > Smackdown > Ivory & D'lo Brown defeat Spike Dudley & Mark Henry > Goldust defeat Al Snow > The Undertaker defeats Terri, Faarooq, The Hurricane, Hardcore Holly, Val Venis, & Billy Kidman > Bubba Ray Dudley & Steve Austin defeat Trish Stratus & Hulk Hogan > Edge defeats Scotty 2 Hotty >WWF Undisputed Championship: Scott Hall (NEW CHAMPION) defeats Triple H, Billy Gunn, X-Pac, The Rock, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Rob Van Dam, & Torrie Wilson

​

Torrie Wilson was robbed. Are the colours in the Quick Results too try hard?

 

[Jazz Wolf]

This is the greatest BTB in existence.

I don't know what to focus on - A rest hold leading into a submission, Rikishi's top submission move being just sitting on someone until they quit, the genuine storytelling in Edge & Scotty, the sheer flippant 'this thing fuckin' happens and it's whatever' attitude. I love it all and especially you.

So many fucking submissions, RNGesus sure does love a sub.

 

[Rosie]

Everybody taps.

Especially to a fat dude on your back.

 

[Rawr]

> Raw #2 Card > Match #1 Handicap Shawn Stasiak vs Jacqueline, Lita, & Big Show > Match #2 Tag Team Kevin Nash & Maven vs Stephanie McMahon & Rikishi > Match #3 10 Person Battle Royal D-Von Dudley vs Mighty Molly vs Booker T vs Jeff Hardy vs Kane vs Albert vs Tommy Dreamer vs Perry Saturn vs Matt Hardy vs Jazz > Match #4 Eight Man Tag Team Mr. Perfect, Brock Lesnar, Stacy Keibler, & Chris Jericho vs Kurt Angle, Bradshaw, Tajiri, & Tazz >Match #5 Singles William Regal vs Chris Benoit > Main Event Tag Team Steven Richards & Big Boss Man vs Test & Lance Storm > Smackdown #2 Card > Match #1 Six Man Tag Team Mark Henry, Triple H, & X-Pac vs D'Lo Brown, Christian, & Edge > Match #2 Singles Torrie Wilson vs Val Venis > Match #3 WWF Intercontinental Championship - Fatal Four Way Rob Van Dam (c) vs The Hurricane vs Terri vs The Undertaker > Match #4 10 Person Battle Royal Hulk Hogan vs Scotty 2 Hotty vs Goldust vs Raven vs Ivory vs Spike Dudley vs Billy Kidman vs Chuck Palumbo vs Trish Stratus vs Hardcore Holly >Match #5 Singles Steve Austin vs Diamond Dallas Page > Main Event Singles Scott Hall vs Billy Gunn​

RNGesus fails us. We almost had the new Undisputed Champion Scott Hall defending the title against the runner up in last week's battle royal. Ah well...

Also, the entire Raw roster ended up getting booked this week. How cool is that?

 

[Mandalorian]

William Regal vs Chris Benoit? Stone Cold vs DDP? Hall vs Gunn? Actual matches?!?

Terri for IC champion, thank you.

Rikishi and Steph gonna have a tag run for the ages. Edge and Christian teaming up is hilarious too.

The Hulkster is going to eliminate every single one of those jabronis in that battle royal or maybe he won’t brother

 

[Oz]

> We cut backstage where Kurt Angle is hyping himself up for his upcoming match.
“YEEEEEEEAH!”

this is so peak

 

[Rosie]

> We cut backstage where Kurt Angle is hyping himself up for his upcoming match.
“YEEEEEEEAH!”

this is so peak

You mean... Perc