I'm bored so I'm going to post some terrible jokes. Mostly from Reddit
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day..
"So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its penis, points to it and says, “Mommy, what is that long thing?”
“His mother replies, “That, son, is the elephant’s trunk.”
“No, at the other end.”
“That, son, is the tail.”
“No, mommy, the thing under the elephant.”
There’s a short embarrassed silence, after which she replies, “That’s nothing.”
The mother goes to buy some ice cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer, asks his father the same question. “Daddy, what is that long thing?”
“That’s the trunk, son,” replies the father.
“No, at the other end.” “Oh, that is the tail.”
“No, no, daddy, the thing below,” says the son in desperation.
“That is the elephant’s penis. Why do you ask, son?”
“Well mommy said it was nothing,” says the boy.
The father replies, “I tell you, I spoil that woman...”
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business
"A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby..
The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”
A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out,
“Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."