The No Smark Zoe 57: Guest Hosts and The New Flagship
Boy its been a while hasn’t it? Well now that I am a month into my new job, I will see if I can get back to what I love doing most, sharing my opinions with you all. But before we get into that, I wanted to tell you a little about my new gig for those who care. If you don’t, skip to the next paragraph and btw, f0ck you . So it’s been a year and a half since I got out of college. I started in 2000 and went to a tech school for Television and Video Production. I graduated in the fall of 2002 and waited until 2003 to “continue onâ€. The only problem was “continuing on†meant “starting over†as my “real world experience†can not be cited with accreditation. So, I plugged away for 4 and ½ years to get a degree in Electronic Media Communications w/ a music minor. I graduated in Dec. of 07 and started looking for a job. And here I am, a year and a half later, I’m a production assistant at the local CBS affiliate. It’s kind of disheartening because the pay here is shit and I am currently looking for ANOTHER JOB to get enough money to live on when I move out. So if I do get another job, look for another hiccup in the writing cycle of the NSZ as I have an internship going with a music website where I write a review or two a week plus I do interviews. I actually have one with Kittie coming up this week which will be fun. Anyway, enough of the life story, onto wrestling.
Boy did Edge pick a shitty time to get injured or what? And no, it’s not for the usual reason of a show needing main eventers, because Punk has stepped up nicely to be THE HEEL on Smackdown. I truly think he and Chris Jericho were going to add some legitimacy to the tag division. Hey, quit laughing, it might have happened! And who knows, maybe we would have seen an actual tag feud go longer than a month AND actually have a blow off match on PPV. WHAT A CONCEPT!! I’m not saying the guys would do what the LOD did for tag wrestling but it would have elevated the division 10 fold from what it is now. Now Jericho is teamed up with The Big Show. I think it makes sense. I mean Jericho wants a guy who can have his back as a partner, and who better to have your back than the 500lb monster? The only thing that pisses me off about it is the whole shitting on the brand split thing. Show is a Raw guy, Jericho from SD. I guess it makes sense because the champs aren’t home to any brand though. Then again, Shaq busted out Cryme Tyme, SD guys, on Raw when he was hosting this week so why am I even complaining about this anymore?
Speaking of the guest host thing, I am kinda torn on it. I mean on one hand, I really do like the incorporation of celebs into the show, it gives it a different flavor. But on the other hand, I really fucking hate when they don’t do anything. Like Shaq getting into it with Show, Seth Green mixing it up with Randy Orton, that’s something different. But like, did ZZ Top even get into anything with anyone or were they just hosts? That’s no fun. I think if you’re going to have a guest host, you should play to his or her strengths and USE THEM. With that being said, I’m going to go down a list of some people I’d like to see guest host and what I’d have them do.
Christian Bale: The guy has a reputation for being an asshole who is full of himself, so let him come in and either A) think he can run shit like “I know what these people want, I’ve gotten all of them to come see my movies†or B) get into it with resident movie star and action hero John Cena. Maybe Bale can book Cena to face Rhaz Al Gouhl. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch but making Cena prove he’s a hero by taking on Legacy in a gauntlet match, Kane in a cage match (hey if THEY can shit on the extension so can I), or the new ECW champion Christian in an Extreme Rules match would be fun to watch.
Bret Hart: The “what ifs†alone make it an interesting prospect. What if Bret runs into Shawn or Hunter? What if Bret runs into John Cena? What will he (the old face of the WWF) say to the new face of the WWE? Maybe Bret wants to take the show in the direction HE wants and gives us a card CHOCK FULL of wrestling matches as opposed to a show that’s segment heavy.
Payton Manning/Tony Romo/Tom Brady: No, not all three, but one of them. Ideally the premise would be the same. Say we have Tony. We’d have him host a Raw in Dallas, obviously, and have him play off a heel who is from a big football city like Green Bay, Chicago, or NYC. And then let Tony spend the rest of the night making that guy’s life a living hell. And hey, maybe a guest appearance by one of the WWEs most famous Texans leading to a tag match or a match to “defend the honor†of TX?
The Fans: Think of it as Cyber Monday. They can do it. They have the technology. Think of it as a real life “choose your own adventure†story.
Simon Cowell: The man EVERYONE loves to hate. The WWE could sell out an arena on the promise that maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone on the roster is gonna get to him and kick the ever loving shit out of him. Who wouldn’t want to see that fuck get his comeuppance? Plus imagine the hilarity when Simon runs into the resident songstress Jillian Hall?!
Bill O’Rielly: Now, this will NOT happen for one reason, Bill O hates anyone and anything affiliated with NBC because they are the heart of the “liberal mediaâ€, but I would love to see Bill get in the face of some of the biggest baddies the WWE has. I’m pretty sure he could intimidate The Big Show and shout down Vince McMahon. Personally, I’d like to see him in an angle with the gender bending Goldust just because deep down inside I think he’d be freaking out being an uptight conservative.
Smackdown has become the show to watch in the WWE and in wrestling. They have FINALLY gotten the right blend of in ring action and entertainment. The CM Punk/Jeff Hardy feud, while not executed perfectly, is still the best angle that the WWE have had since HBK retired Ric Flair. And CM Punk, while he may be a bit small, is slowly becoming the WWE’s hottest commodity. I am really hoping that now that he has lost the WHC, he takes his promos to a new level. That and I hope he is given the time, which I am sure he will be.
As I said before, with Edge out there is a spot open for someone else to step up. That man? John Morrison. He is a face, and unfortunately SD is hard up for heels a the moment as it looks like Jericho is Raw bound for now. But realistically, Morrison could be the next star to be elevated, but he needs the right feud. While it is possible to do as a heel, I think he’d be better served as a face at this moment. If he turns, I’d like to see him turn like Punk, when he’s on top. But who can he feud with to get over? Well Shelton is the first and obvious choice. They have had a few matches, none of them even close to bad. It will give Shelton a chance to get over too. The problem is, we’ve seen it already and you would need something extraordinary to get people into a full on feud after we’ve seen so many matches between the two. Dolph Ziggler is fresh off a feud with Rey Rey, and hell it might even continue. A three way feud over the IC Title would be another good way to get Morrison over. The blowoff being a triple threat but in the meantime, Dolph could find a partner to face Morrison/Rey, they could all have single matches against each other. Hell it could all start with Rey vs. Morrison with your special guest referee, Dolph Ziggler. But I think the best way to do it might be with an appearance from our good old friend Kane. I think this is best for a few reasons. One, Kane said he wants to put people over and he is really good at it. And two, lets face it, Morrison is going to be undersized for the rest of his WWE career. He is going to HAVE to fight someone that is a lot bigger than he is to get to the next level, and I think working with Kane will prepare him to face a HHH, Big Show, or whoever else. But the bottom line is, baring injury or a scandal, John Morrison could very well be your WWE or WHC.
Well thanks again for reading the NSZ. I will be doing this a lot more regularly now that I have my schedule down pat, so look for more of these in the future. As always, feedback is appreciated so quit LURKING. Before I go I want to plug a band I gave my first **** review to. Amazing Baby are out of NYC and they have made some of the most colorful and beautiful music I’ve ever heard. Find them on myspace or check their website and you wont be disappointed. Until next time….
Boy its been a while hasn’t it? Well now that I am a month into my new job, I will see if I can get back to what I love doing most, sharing my opinions with you all. But before we get into that, I wanted to tell you a little about my new gig for those who care. If you don’t, skip to the next paragraph and btw, f0ck you . So it’s been a year and a half since I got out of college. I started in 2000 and went to a tech school for Television and Video Production. I graduated in the fall of 2002 and waited until 2003 to “continue onâ€. The only problem was “continuing on†meant “starting over†as my “real world experience†can not be cited with accreditation. So, I plugged away for 4 and ½ years to get a degree in Electronic Media Communications w/ a music minor. I graduated in Dec. of 07 and started looking for a job. And here I am, a year and a half later, I’m a production assistant at the local CBS affiliate. It’s kind of disheartening because the pay here is shit and I am currently looking for ANOTHER JOB to get enough money to live on when I move out. So if I do get another job, look for another hiccup in the writing cycle of the NSZ as I have an internship going with a music website where I write a review or two a week plus I do interviews. I actually have one with Kittie coming up this week which will be fun. Anyway, enough of the life story, onto wrestling.
Boy did Edge pick a shitty time to get injured or what? And no, it’s not for the usual reason of a show needing main eventers, because Punk has stepped up nicely to be THE HEEL on Smackdown. I truly think he and Chris Jericho were going to add some legitimacy to the tag division. Hey, quit laughing, it might have happened! And who knows, maybe we would have seen an actual tag feud go longer than a month AND actually have a blow off match on PPV. WHAT A CONCEPT!! I’m not saying the guys would do what the LOD did for tag wrestling but it would have elevated the division 10 fold from what it is now. Now Jericho is teamed up with The Big Show. I think it makes sense. I mean Jericho wants a guy who can have his back as a partner, and who better to have your back than the 500lb monster? The only thing that pisses me off about it is the whole shitting on the brand split thing. Show is a Raw guy, Jericho from SD. I guess it makes sense because the champs aren’t home to any brand though. Then again, Shaq busted out Cryme Tyme, SD guys, on Raw when he was hosting this week so why am I even complaining about this anymore?
Speaking of the guest host thing, I am kinda torn on it. I mean on one hand, I really do like the incorporation of celebs into the show, it gives it a different flavor. But on the other hand, I really fucking hate when they don’t do anything. Like Shaq getting into it with Show, Seth Green mixing it up with Randy Orton, that’s something different. But like, did ZZ Top even get into anything with anyone or were they just hosts? That’s no fun. I think if you’re going to have a guest host, you should play to his or her strengths and USE THEM. With that being said, I’m going to go down a list of some people I’d like to see guest host and what I’d have them do.
Christian Bale: The guy has a reputation for being an asshole who is full of himself, so let him come in and either A) think he can run shit like “I know what these people want, I’ve gotten all of them to come see my movies†or B) get into it with resident movie star and action hero John Cena. Maybe Bale can book Cena to face Rhaz Al Gouhl. Ok, maybe that’s a stretch but making Cena prove he’s a hero by taking on Legacy in a gauntlet match, Kane in a cage match (hey if THEY can shit on the extension so can I), or the new ECW champion Christian in an Extreme Rules match would be fun to watch.
Bret Hart: The “what ifs†alone make it an interesting prospect. What if Bret runs into Shawn or Hunter? What if Bret runs into John Cena? What will he (the old face of the WWF) say to the new face of the WWE? Maybe Bret wants to take the show in the direction HE wants and gives us a card CHOCK FULL of wrestling matches as opposed to a show that’s segment heavy.
Payton Manning/Tony Romo/Tom Brady: No, not all three, but one of them. Ideally the premise would be the same. Say we have Tony. We’d have him host a Raw in Dallas, obviously, and have him play off a heel who is from a big football city like Green Bay, Chicago, or NYC. And then let Tony spend the rest of the night making that guy’s life a living hell. And hey, maybe a guest appearance by one of the WWEs most famous Texans leading to a tag match or a match to “defend the honor†of TX?
The Fans: Think of it as Cyber Monday. They can do it. They have the technology. Think of it as a real life “choose your own adventure†story.
Simon Cowell: The man EVERYONE loves to hate. The WWE could sell out an arena on the promise that maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone on the roster is gonna get to him and kick the ever loving shit out of him. Who wouldn’t want to see that fuck get his comeuppance? Plus imagine the hilarity when Simon runs into the resident songstress Jillian Hall?!
Bill O’Rielly: Now, this will NOT happen for one reason, Bill O hates anyone and anything affiliated with NBC because they are the heart of the “liberal mediaâ€, but I would love to see Bill get in the face of some of the biggest baddies the WWE has. I’m pretty sure he could intimidate The Big Show and shout down Vince McMahon. Personally, I’d like to see him in an angle with the gender bending Goldust just because deep down inside I think he’d be freaking out being an uptight conservative.
Smackdown has become the show to watch in the WWE and in wrestling. They have FINALLY gotten the right blend of in ring action and entertainment. The CM Punk/Jeff Hardy feud, while not executed perfectly, is still the best angle that the WWE have had since HBK retired Ric Flair. And CM Punk, while he may be a bit small, is slowly becoming the WWE’s hottest commodity. I am really hoping that now that he has lost the WHC, he takes his promos to a new level. That and I hope he is given the time, which I am sure he will be.
As I said before, with Edge out there is a spot open for someone else to step up. That man? John Morrison. He is a face, and unfortunately SD is hard up for heels a the moment as it looks like Jericho is Raw bound for now. But realistically, Morrison could be the next star to be elevated, but he needs the right feud. While it is possible to do as a heel, I think he’d be better served as a face at this moment. If he turns, I’d like to see him turn like Punk, when he’s on top. But who can he feud with to get over? Well Shelton is the first and obvious choice. They have had a few matches, none of them even close to bad. It will give Shelton a chance to get over too. The problem is, we’ve seen it already and you would need something extraordinary to get people into a full on feud after we’ve seen so many matches between the two. Dolph Ziggler is fresh off a feud with Rey Rey, and hell it might even continue. A three way feud over the IC Title would be another good way to get Morrison over. The blowoff being a triple threat but in the meantime, Dolph could find a partner to face Morrison/Rey, they could all have single matches against each other. Hell it could all start with Rey vs. Morrison with your special guest referee, Dolph Ziggler. But I think the best way to do it might be with an appearance from our good old friend Kane. I think this is best for a few reasons. One, Kane said he wants to put people over and he is really good at it. And two, lets face it, Morrison is going to be undersized for the rest of his WWE career. He is going to HAVE to fight someone that is a lot bigger than he is to get to the next level, and I think working with Kane will prepare him to face a HHH, Big Show, or whoever else. But the bottom line is, baring injury or a scandal, John Morrison could very well be your WWE or WHC.
Well thanks again for reading the NSZ. I will be doing this a lot more regularly now that I have my schedule down pat, so look for more of these in the future. As always, feedback is appreciated so quit LURKING. Before I go I want to plug a band I gave my first **** review to. Amazing Baby are out of NYC and they have made some of the most colorful and beautiful music I’ve ever heard. Find them on myspace or check their website and you wont be disappointed. Until next time….
