Welcome to the 48th edition of the No Smark Zone. This week I did two things I love, fantasy booking and ranting. This one is basically a big ego trip (like all of the others arent) But this one is, I KNOW WHAT WORKS BETTER THAN YOU. Not really, but it is what Id like to see in terms of the booking and what I am pissed off about in terms of the rant. The rant is also a review of the three title matches from Unforgiven. I also mention about the supposed proposed gimmicking of WWE PPVs. But first, onto part one of the fantasy booking.
I thought of this when I was reading the story about Jeff Hardy getting taken off of a plane because he was wasted. Now, while I dont think this is bad and/or unusual (see when Hennig and Brock almost opened a plane door in mid air) I think Jeff really needs to watch himself. I mean this guy has had more lives than a cat in the WWE and now he's getting drunk before getting on a plane? Come on Jeff, be smarter than that. I am a big Hardyz fan, of both. Id like to see Jeff Hardy get his shit straight and get the big one someday, but this is just inexcusable, IMO. That being said, I booked a scenario whereby Jeff Hardy was fired and was picked up by TNA
Scenario: After being arrested on a plane ride to a WWE show, Jeff Hardy is fired from the WWE and is immediately picked up by TNA. Book Jeff Hardy’s debut and his initial angle. You can not have him go for the title right away and you MUST be careful about sacrificing too much of your talent to such a reckless talent.
Prelude: Jeff Hardy releases a public statement saying that he is pissed off about what happened and he blames the WWE and professional wrestling in general. He says while he wanted to do it, it was not worth the risks and calls out the WWE’s grueling road schedule as a reason why his body and mind are so warn away. He keeps this up for a few months.
Week 1: One week out of the blue, Jeff Hardy is spotted at a TNA show, presumeably there to visit friends. He is shown on TV for a second and the announcers don’t sell it as an angle, just as “we bring in all types of people to TNA IMPACTâ€. Jeff sees that he is on the big screen and flips out, trying to cover up his face, and when the camera doesn’t get off him, he stands up and walks out (all off camera).
Week 2: For the next few weeks, we start noticing a few little technical glitches with TNA’s broadcast. The show goes to black suddenly one week, the audio goes in and out another week, and finally, the stage lights go out only to have the emergency ones kick right on. This all culminates in Jeff Hardy being “arrested†for criminal mischief, once again, all off camera.
Week 3: Jeff Hardy shows up a week later on IMPACT, this time in the front row, acting like he is stoned and drunk, screaming and yelling for him to be put on camera now. He acts like this all until the main event between AJ Styles and Samoa Joe. During the match, Jeff yells out to both of them telling them they suck and whatnot. AJ botches a move on the outside and Jeff Hardy laughs at him and even tries to get a YOU FUCKED UP chant started. AJ gets mad and flips off Jeff Hardy audibly calling him a drug addicted loser. Jeff tries to come at AJ but Jeff’s girlfriend and friends hold him back.
Week 4: AJ comes out next week with Cornette and says he is not going to have a druggie messing up his show and his company. AJ says he has been busting his ass and taking too many bumps to let some loser like Hardy mess it up. Jeff is held back by security until Cornette tells them to let him go. Jeff gets in the ring and says that while he may have his problems, he is no longer a slave to the wrestling business. And that everyone in the back in TNA and in the WWE need to hear that. They are all mindless robots, doing the bidding of Dixie Carter and Vince McMahon so the owners can get rich and not the wrestlers. Jeff tells AJ that everything he has done to build the company up is worthless and then spits on the TNA ring. AJ tries to go after him but JC tells him not to. Cornette tells Hardy its time for him to go. After Hardy turns to leave, AJ does too and Jeff nails him and then runs away as half the TNA roster empties out and chases him through the crowd.
Week 5: Cornette calls on Jeff Hardy to sign a contract with TNA. Corny calls him a great talent when he’s sober and wants him to sign with TNA. He tells Jeff he will offer him the same money he pays Samoa Joe and give him 4 guaranteed world title matches in his first year. Jeff comes out and agrees. After he signs, Cornette tells Hardy that a provision in his contract is that his first match is to be against AJ Styles at Sacrafice. Jeff flips out. Christian Cage, Rhino, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett all comment on Jeff Hardy saying they dont want him back in TNA.
Week 6: Jeff releases a statement on the internet saying that he will not be appearing at Sacrafice this Sunday. He said he was tricked into signing the contract under false pretenses...."and stuff". And that he doesnt want to face a "spot monkey" like AJ Styles. That week on IMPACT, Jim Cornette says if Jeff Hardy doesnt show up at Sacrafice, he will be sued for breach of contract.
Week 7: Jeff Hardy does show up at Sacrafice, only its in the crowd. Jim Cornette comes out with AJ for his match and tells Jeff he needs to get into the ring. Jeff says he will if Cornette will give him a world title match on IMPACT this Thursday. Cornette reluctantly says yes and the match is on. Jeff comes in and wrestles in street clothes. AJ beats his ass in the beginning, much to the delight of the crowd. Jeff takes the advantage and beats down AJ after a low blow behind the refs back. AJ tries to make a comeback but the ref gets bumped and Jeff does a seated Senton with a chair to knock AJ out. Jeff tries to revive the ref who finally comes to and counts as Jeff covers but only for a 2. Jeff grabs the chair, with the ref down and goes to drill AJ but Christian Cage intereferes and dropkicks Jeff, making him drop the chair. CC sets up the chair to give Jeff the Unprettier, but he gives it to AJ Styles instead! Christian and Jeff Hardy hug and raise each others hand, and then leave AJ lying.
Unforgiven Review-ish
Unforgiven was a great attempt for the WWE to try and slap a gimmick on a PPV without making it seem too gimmicky. I honestly think its sort of a good idea. Because other than logos and color schemes, nothing really separates the WWE ppvs. Should there be a lot of definition to each PPV, maybe not. I mean the only thing that really does separate the big 4 from the other
8 are the fact that they book bigger marquee match ups on them and the guys and girls, in my opinion, try to put on better matches. I thought it was a great PPV, and the matches, well the three big title matches at least, were really different in terms of psychology, which I like. I was afraid this was gonna turn into a giant clusterfuck but the Scrambles were actually pretty entertaining.
The ECW one especially shocked the hell out of me. Maybe it was because I had such low expectations of everyone involved, but it was really good and it genuinely had me on the edge of my seat, as the rest of the scrambles did. The story of the first scramble was really a true “who is going to win†story. Because in reality, since the title is pretty meaningless in the WWE, any one of the people involved had an equal chance of winning. Any one of them could have worn the belt and they would have looked like ECW Champion. I also liked the fact that The Miz stepped up and looked like he was putting in a hell of an effort. I still don’t like him, but I’m glad he stepped up. I also liked how Mark Henry came in last and just dominated because plainly, that’s how it should be. Four smaller guys have been kicking each others ass for 15 minutes and in comes a fresh big man, that makes sense. And then as we got closer and closer to the end of the match, the pace quickened and we got some faster pins. And at the end of the day, Matt Hardy was crowned our new ECW Champion. It was a pretty good match, to be honest.
The second scramble was the WWE Title one. Boy I bet HHH really hates not being in the main event. The and Jeff Hardy start out. Just as in the first one, we start out with arguably the two best overall workers in the match. These guys cut a quick enough pace to get the crowd going and into the match. No pinfalls until Benjamin gets into the match. The story told in this one was drastically different from that of the ECW Title scramble. This one was more about two guys who, for better or worse, were just plain better than the rest of the herd. And you can disagree all you want. I know you fans of The think he stood out in this match. He did a good job, but clearly the match was about Triple H and Jeff Hardy. While, I believe, everyone else got at least one fall in, it was those two who got the most and looked the most dominant. It was “Well Jeff Hardy could have won if not for HHH†and “HHH could have easily lost because of Jeff Hardy†and the rest of the guys were bit players. They all did really well, even The, but it was all about The Game and The Enigma.
The other match I wanted to talk about before I move on to the WHC Scramble is, of course, the sanctioned, unsanctioned match between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. I didn’t quite know what to think going into this match, other than I was almost 100% sure Shawn was going to lose because I was 100% sure this was the blow off match. And what would be the point of HBK winning the blow off match. I mean, come on BROTHER, its about elevating people. And I feel deep down in my gut that this WAS going to be the blow off match until someone threw a wrench into it and decided to yank Punk from the title scene and therefore, my….I mean Stu Finer’s prediction was actually right. But the match itself was one of the most dramatic encounters I’d ever seen as it has been built up, essentially, to perfection. The match was just right. It was hardcore, but not too hardcore. It was technical, but not overly technical. And there was drama without it becoming shtick. I think if I had a minor criticism, it would be the overall pacing. I can’t point to one specific thing, but I think the match may have dragged on at points. I think it could have been because of the constant yo-yo effect of the match structure. It was exciting and compelling, but also really mentally draining all at the same time. I will say I love it when the WWE set up a table and then leave it the fuck alone because while it can become a distraction, you can get to thinking “oooo who is gonna go through that!?â€
Finally, I have pretty mixed feelings about the main event. On one hand, it was, without a doubt, the most star studded match of the night. Now, I have no idea who thought it was a great notion to just rip CM Punk out of the title picture, but whoever did it is a fucking moron. I really think it is just a Blue move. I thought it was gonna have him coming out at the end and whatnot, but boy was I wrong. What I think the strongest point of the match was, was that it was unpredictable. I mean literally it was a crapshoot and anyone could have easily won it, much like the ECW one. But, the other piece of that is that we were guaranteed a new World Heavyweight Champ. That is something I like. I mean even if it wasn’t a FOR SURE thing, it was relatively evident that Punk wasn’t coming out. And that was pretty exciting. Even as each man filtered out every 5 minutes, I was salivating at the prospect of each of them becoming champion. Part of me really wanted a new champion, but at the end, I was totally disappointed to see that Punk wasn’t going to have any part in it. I think its complete and utter bullshit. And that’s what really pissed me off. It wasn’t so much that Jericho won the title, it was part of it, but why the hell did CM Punk win MITB and then tease for months that he was gonna cash it in, cash it in, and then win the title, all to just have it magically disappear? It makes no sense to me. Actually Id imagine, Punk must have felt like the New England Patriots at the end of the season last year. You go through a lot of bullshit, pain, setbacks, and then you are on the cusp of getting what you want aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, its gone. Because make no mistake, while CM Punk was your World Champion for a while, I don’t think he was ever fully embraced as such, and if he doesn’t get it back, his reign will go down with the same significance as The Great Khali’s title reign.
Well thats it for the No Smark Zone this week. Next week I will do a No Mercy Review, an actual review not just some random thoughts, and I will also have the second half of my booking. Thanks for reading. Leave lots of feedback and dont forget to head over to the review section and read all of the columns we work on here in the IWF!!
I thought of this when I was reading the story about Jeff Hardy getting taken off of a plane because he was wasted. Now, while I dont think this is bad and/or unusual (see when Hennig and Brock almost opened a plane door in mid air) I think Jeff really needs to watch himself. I mean this guy has had more lives than a cat in the WWE and now he's getting drunk before getting on a plane? Come on Jeff, be smarter than that. I am a big Hardyz fan, of both. Id like to see Jeff Hardy get his shit straight and get the big one someday, but this is just inexcusable, IMO. That being said, I booked a scenario whereby Jeff Hardy was fired and was picked up by TNA
Scenario: After being arrested on a plane ride to a WWE show, Jeff Hardy is fired from the WWE and is immediately picked up by TNA. Book Jeff Hardy’s debut and his initial angle. You can not have him go for the title right away and you MUST be careful about sacrificing too much of your talent to such a reckless talent.
Prelude: Jeff Hardy releases a public statement saying that he is pissed off about what happened and he blames the WWE and professional wrestling in general. He says while he wanted to do it, it was not worth the risks and calls out the WWE’s grueling road schedule as a reason why his body and mind are so warn away. He keeps this up for a few months.
Week 1: One week out of the blue, Jeff Hardy is spotted at a TNA show, presumeably there to visit friends. He is shown on TV for a second and the announcers don’t sell it as an angle, just as “we bring in all types of people to TNA IMPACTâ€. Jeff sees that he is on the big screen and flips out, trying to cover up his face, and when the camera doesn’t get off him, he stands up and walks out (all off camera).
Week 2: For the next few weeks, we start noticing a few little technical glitches with TNA’s broadcast. The show goes to black suddenly one week, the audio goes in and out another week, and finally, the stage lights go out only to have the emergency ones kick right on. This all culminates in Jeff Hardy being “arrested†for criminal mischief, once again, all off camera.
Week 3: Jeff Hardy shows up a week later on IMPACT, this time in the front row, acting like he is stoned and drunk, screaming and yelling for him to be put on camera now. He acts like this all until the main event between AJ Styles and Samoa Joe. During the match, Jeff yells out to both of them telling them they suck and whatnot. AJ botches a move on the outside and Jeff Hardy laughs at him and even tries to get a YOU FUCKED UP chant started. AJ gets mad and flips off Jeff Hardy audibly calling him a drug addicted loser. Jeff tries to come at AJ but Jeff’s girlfriend and friends hold him back.
Week 4: AJ comes out next week with Cornette and says he is not going to have a druggie messing up his show and his company. AJ says he has been busting his ass and taking too many bumps to let some loser like Hardy mess it up. Jeff is held back by security until Cornette tells them to let him go. Jeff gets in the ring and says that while he may have his problems, he is no longer a slave to the wrestling business. And that everyone in the back in TNA and in the WWE need to hear that. They are all mindless robots, doing the bidding of Dixie Carter and Vince McMahon so the owners can get rich and not the wrestlers. Jeff tells AJ that everything he has done to build the company up is worthless and then spits on the TNA ring. AJ tries to go after him but JC tells him not to. Cornette tells Hardy its time for him to go. After Hardy turns to leave, AJ does too and Jeff nails him and then runs away as half the TNA roster empties out and chases him through the crowd.
Week 5: Cornette calls on Jeff Hardy to sign a contract with TNA. Corny calls him a great talent when he’s sober and wants him to sign with TNA. He tells Jeff he will offer him the same money he pays Samoa Joe and give him 4 guaranteed world title matches in his first year. Jeff comes out and agrees. After he signs, Cornette tells Hardy that a provision in his contract is that his first match is to be against AJ Styles at Sacrafice. Jeff flips out. Christian Cage, Rhino, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett all comment on Jeff Hardy saying they dont want him back in TNA.
Week 6: Jeff releases a statement on the internet saying that he will not be appearing at Sacrafice this Sunday. He said he was tricked into signing the contract under false pretenses...."and stuff". And that he doesnt want to face a "spot monkey" like AJ Styles. That week on IMPACT, Jim Cornette says if Jeff Hardy doesnt show up at Sacrafice, he will be sued for breach of contract.
Week 7: Jeff Hardy does show up at Sacrafice, only its in the crowd. Jim Cornette comes out with AJ for his match and tells Jeff he needs to get into the ring. Jeff says he will if Cornette will give him a world title match on IMPACT this Thursday. Cornette reluctantly says yes and the match is on. Jeff comes in and wrestles in street clothes. AJ beats his ass in the beginning, much to the delight of the crowd. Jeff takes the advantage and beats down AJ after a low blow behind the refs back. AJ tries to make a comeback but the ref gets bumped and Jeff does a seated Senton with a chair to knock AJ out. Jeff tries to revive the ref who finally comes to and counts as Jeff covers but only for a 2. Jeff grabs the chair, with the ref down and goes to drill AJ but Christian Cage intereferes and dropkicks Jeff, making him drop the chair. CC sets up the chair to give Jeff the Unprettier, but he gives it to AJ Styles instead! Christian and Jeff Hardy hug and raise each others hand, and then leave AJ lying.
Unforgiven Review-ish
Unforgiven was a great attempt for the WWE to try and slap a gimmick on a PPV without making it seem too gimmicky. I honestly think its sort of a good idea. Because other than logos and color schemes, nothing really separates the WWE ppvs. Should there be a lot of definition to each PPV, maybe not. I mean the only thing that really does separate the big 4 from the other
8 are the fact that they book bigger marquee match ups on them and the guys and girls, in my opinion, try to put on better matches. I thought it was a great PPV, and the matches, well the three big title matches at least, were really different in terms of psychology, which I like. I was afraid this was gonna turn into a giant clusterfuck but the Scrambles were actually pretty entertaining.
The ECW one especially shocked the hell out of me. Maybe it was because I had such low expectations of everyone involved, but it was really good and it genuinely had me on the edge of my seat, as the rest of the scrambles did. The story of the first scramble was really a true “who is going to win†story. Because in reality, since the title is pretty meaningless in the WWE, any one of the people involved had an equal chance of winning. Any one of them could have worn the belt and they would have looked like ECW Champion. I also liked the fact that The Miz stepped up and looked like he was putting in a hell of an effort. I still don’t like him, but I’m glad he stepped up. I also liked how Mark Henry came in last and just dominated because plainly, that’s how it should be. Four smaller guys have been kicking each others ass for 15 minutes and in comes a fresh big man, that makes sense. And then as we got closer and closer to the end of the match, the pace quickened and we got some faster pins. And at the end of the day, Matt Hardy was crowned our new ECW Champion. It was a pretty good match, to be honest.
The second scramble was the WWE Title one. Boy I bet HHH really hates not being in the main event. The and Jeff Hardy start out. Just as in the first one, we start out with arguably the two best overall workers in the match. These guys cut a quick enough pace to get the crowd going and into the match. No pinfalls until Benjamin gets into the match. The story told in this one was drastically different from that of the ECW Title scramble. This one was more about two guys who, for better or worse, were just plain better than the rest of the herd. And you can disagree all you want. I know you fans of The think he stood out in this match. He did a good job, but clearly the match was about Triple H and Jeff Hardy. While, I believe, everyone else got at least one fall in, it was those two who got the most and looked the most dominant. It was “Well Jeff Hardy could have won if not for HHH†and “HHH could have easily lost because of Jeff Hardy†and the rest of the guys were bit players. They all did really well, even The, but it was all about The Game and The Enigma.
The other match I wanted to talk about before I move on to the WHC Scramble is, of course, the sanctioned, unsanctioned match between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. I didn’t quite know what to think going into this match, other than I was almost 100% sure Shawn was going to lose because I was 100% sure this was the blow off match. And what would be the point of HBK winning the blow off match. I mean, come on BROTHER, its about elevating people. And I feel deep down in my gut that this WAS going to be the blow off match until someone threw a wrench into it and decided to yank Punk from the title scene and therefore, my….I mean Stu Finer’s prediction was actually right. But the match itself was one of the most dramatic encounters I’d ever seen as it has been built up, essentially, to perfection. The match was just right. It was hardcore, but not too hardcore. It was technical, but not overly technical. And there was drama without it becoming shtick. I think if I had a minor criticism, it would be the overall pacing. I can’t point to one specific thing, but I think the match may have dragged on at points. I think it could have been because of the constant yo-yo effect of the match structure. It was exciting and compelling, but also really mentally draining all at the same time. I will say I love it when the WWE set up a table and then leave it the fuck alone because while it can become a distraction, you can get to thinking “oooo who is gonna go through that!?â€
Finally, I have pretty mixed feelings about the main event. On one hand, it was, without a doubt, the most star studded match of the night. Now, I have no idea who thought it was a great notion to just rip CM Punk out of the title picture, but whoever did it is a fucking moron. I really think it is just a Blue move. I thought it was gonna have him coming out at the end and whatnot, but boy was I wrong. What I think the strongest point of the match was, was that it was unpredictable. I mean literally it was a crapshoot and anyone could have easily won it, much like the ECW one. But, the other piece of that is that we were guaranteed a new World Heavyweight Champ. That is something I like. I mean even if it wasn’t a FOR SURE thing, it was relatively evident that Punk wasn’t coming out. And that was pretty exciting. Even as each man filtered out every 5 minutes, I was salivating at the prospect of each of them becoming champion. Part of me really wanted a new champion, but at the end, I was totally disappointed to see that Punk wasn’t going to have any part in it. I think its complete and utter bullshit. And that’s what really pissed me off. It wasn’t so much that Jericho won the title, it was part of it, but why the hell did CM Punk win MITB and then tease for months that he was gonna cash it in, cash it in, and then win the title, all to just have it magically disappear? It makes no sense to me. Actually Id imagine, Punk must have felt like the New England Patriots at the end of the season last year. You go through a lot of bullshit, pain, setbacks, and then you are on the cusp of getting what you want aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, its gone. Because make no mistake, while CM Punk was your World Champion for a while, I don’t think he was ever fully embraced as such, and if he doesn’t get it back, his reign will go down with the same significance as The Great Khali’s title reign.
Well thats it for the No Smark Zone this week. Next week I will do a No Mercy Review, an actual review not just some random thoughts, and I will also have the second half of my booking. Thanks for reading. Leave lots of feedback and dont forget to head over to the review section and read all of the columns we work on here in the IWF!!
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