Promos The Most Landmark Announcement Ever!

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Rosie

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"The Most Landmark Announcement Ever!"

-According to Brian Toogood-
rooftop-pool--new.jpg

The sun shines upon the city-scape with the blue skies clear as can be. With summer fast approaching, the weather has become more and more pleasant, urging many people to get outside. One of which, sits upon a rooftop pool, soaking in the rays of the sun while lying down in a lawn chair. Shirtless to show off his well-kept physique and sunglasses on along with customized swimming trunks that are black and gold with stars on them and the letters “BTG,” this young man is enjoying being in total bliss. A radio is next to him on full blast with rap music as he takes a sip of a Mimosa cocktail. Lying back in his chair, he puts his hand behind groomed dark hair and grins to himself until he is interrupted by his phone. Rolling his eyes, he picks it up and fakes some enthusiasm when he answers.

“Hey, buddy! How’s the work going on my big reveal?” He chuckles. “Great! The cameras are already here and I asked them to do some shots of me relaxing. You know, to present me as classy, calm, and get some shirtless pics for the babes… Or other people. Hey, it’s 2019, I don’t judge and I’ll let them down gently.” The person folds his arm and waits. “What do you mean you can’t hear me? My radio again? Excuse me if you don’t pay attention, dumbass!” He shouts before dialling his radio down in volume before continuing the phone call.

“So, you did get it right this time, Jake? You got pyro ready, and not some dumbass thing called a Spyro? Because I don’t want lame purple dragons from kids cartoons at this big announcement.” He rolls his eyes and says with sarcasm. “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s from a video game! My bad for not knowing about something so nerdy! And what about the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders, Jack? Are they waiting downstairs with the uniforms we designed for the-” He is cut off by his assistant who corrects his mistake. After hearing this, he pounds his fist on the table to his side.

“What do you mean they got rid of them in 2013?! Oh wait, they didn’t have anything to cheer for, got it. We’ll make due without, but you better call some other cheer squad next time! We need to appeal to the senses too! At least we have the pyro, that’s number one. They better be arranged to spell out “BTG” when they go off.” He nods. “Perfect, and we all know what that means, say it with me, man. ‘Brian Toogood,’ great! You rock, Joel, and have it ready for when the sound guy sends you a signal.”

Hanging up his phone and getting up from his seat, Brian turns to the camera and tells the cameraman to “get ready” before he finally speaks up, giving a fake smile.

“Welcome, everyone, to the one spot in this city that can match the magnificence of the hottest new signee in professional wrestling. The most landmark announcement ever is here! From the man who will be…” Toogood uses air quotes “Big Money,” before having a chuckle. “To one lucky company out there. Take notice so you can say it loud and say it proud, I am,” With each letter, he points towards his chest with each hand. “B-T-G,” Then he spreads out his arms with a big smirk. “Brian Toogood and if you didn’t pay attention then, don’t worry, because you’ll be hearing my name quite a lot in the near future.”

Looking out to the cityscape behind him, Brian folds his hands. “Because even though I am only 21 years old, I have a keen eye for the business. I am a hard working young man with all the upside in the world and I know exactly what it takes to separate myself from all the dumbasses that plague the wrestling world.”

Toogood leans against the side and faces the cameras.

“My mother and father, bless their souls, have raised a magnificent young man and from a tender age. The most important thing they gave me was not to love, but they taught me the importance of investing. Two masters of the stock market in Manhattan only moving out here so they can, ahem, ‘get away,’ from that life when they made their money, they did not just tell me to invest wisely… in finances, but there is something more than that. You have to invest in the right idea, the right time, right place, in people who aren’t going to be failures like 99% of people in this world, but most importantly…” He laughs and opens his hands. “Yourself, haha! And with the best trainers, I could find, that have shown me everything it takes to make it in the world of wrestling to find the right people to…” He gestures up and down his body. “Maintain my well-kept image and so much more, I’m not just a wrestler. BTG is going to be a brand if you will. Brian Toogood will be a brand I will take globally.” He tips his sunglasses and gives a wink. “Although it has to start somewhere, which is why I have this self-promotion if you will.”

Stopping himself for a second, he holds his finger up. “And let me be clear. I’m not one of those stereotypical,” He says in a mocking tone. “Privileged kids,” Toogood pretends to puke. “I actually know what it’s like to be a top-level athlete, to work hard. I was a top-level Football player in High School, being the Quarterback that lead a no-good school to a State Championship. I even got offered a tryout with the Buffalo Bills…” He pauses before saying.

“Which was a motivating factor in leaving that sport because I don’t want to play for those upstate New York rednecks tailgating before each game just to get CTE. No, which was why I went to amateur wrestling where I was another top-level star. But after realizing it was only amateur wrestling, I was bored having to play down to my competition. So, I already know what it takes to be the very best at what I do… And come on, what am I competing within this form of wrestling?”

Turning around, Brian takes off his sunglasses and puts them onto the table. He leans against the railing as he’s looking at the Buffalo sky.

“The professional wrestling world is filled with a plague of freaks and geeks. You know, freaks. They are those people who are… ugly, threatening to children… They’re better suited for a mental institution rather than performing in public because they have a borderline sexual fetish with causing harm to people. Then you’ll see them using weapons, cutting people open, themselves, blaring eardrum-shattering music. It’s morally wrong! They are not wrestling for the good of the sport, competition or to be an entertainer. It is just the only socially acceptable setting for them to satisfy their primal urges.”

BTG shakes his head.

Disgusting, and the geeks are not any better. Taking the other extreme of the spectrum, they are lame-os, losers, people who, rather than being the larger than life personalities are closer to the actual audience member than a wrestler. Maybe they went into wrestling because they needed to defend themselves from all the people who picked on them for having a rat-face or maybe, just maybe, they needed something to validate their boring existences, they lower the value of our sport. And no matter who they are freak or geek, these loser fans latch onto them because it’s all they have. They don’t know better because there is no alternative of value. That is until now.”

Standing up, Brian speaks directly to the camera.

“So this is why I am proud to announce that I have signed a lucrative contract with a company which, much like myself, is new, and exciting. The platform in which my soon to be adoring fans will watch me on is known as Liberty or Death Wrestling!”

He spreads his arms out for an awkward period of time, before muttering rather annoyed.

“And if someone hired the cheerleaders, they’d start chanting my name and cheering for me. But SOMEONE messed that up!”

Looking down and shaking his head, Brian breaks the moment of awkwardness and he continues on.

“It’s a no brainer, really. Not just for the amazing contract they gave me which I can assure is one of the biggest ever, but because I am the personification of what it means to be free. I have my right to an amazing life, the liberty to do what I want and to have all the property I can earn. I hope the owners of the company pay attention to me. Understand what potential, pedigree, money you have by having the great privilege of having Brian Toogood on your roster. To my fellow wrestlers, take note of how I act and perform. You’ll know exactly what it means to be larger than life star. If not, then I, the Slayer of Freaks and the Tamer of Geeks, will have to cleanse you. Only then finally, the freaks and geeks of wrestling will wash away and all of LDW and wrestling as a whole will be…”

Pausing, Brian Toogood smirks and raises his eyebrow before saying slowly.

“Just…”

“Too…”

“Good!”


On cue, several fireworks shoot up from below and they pop off behind him, forming the initials “BTG” in red, gold, and blue. Putting his sunglasses back on from the table, Brian lies back down to enjoy his drink as the camera fades away.