AMA Tag Team Turmoil Rankings Match

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Smart Marx

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Tag Team Turmoil Rankings Match
Trixie and Bret Bordeaux v. Belly Boy and Burgerman v. Hangman James and Grayson v. Princess Nova and Slate Bass with Eden

Deadlines
Remember that role-plays are to be received no later than 11:59 PM EST on Friday, January 21st, 2022.
 

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Truth, and Reconciliation
Collaboratively Written by:
@Princess Rosé (Princess Nova)
&
Project Jonny (Slate Bass, Eden, & Keres)

Residence logo.png


Returning to the Bassignani family home, we see The Residence, Eden, Slate Bass, and Princess Nova, sitting in their living room. To the right of our screens we see Princess Nova, wearing a long satin dress, legs crossed with Keres playing with blocks next to her. To the right, both Slate and Eden are sitting on a couch. Slate has his usual suit on while Eden is wearing a simple black tank-top with white jeans and black combat boots. In the middle of the floor, Nova’s cat, Hayley, is picking at the remains of the Burgerman and Belly Boy dolls we saw from their previous promo. Their stuffing shines from the ornate fireplace behind them. Above, framed, is the post-match scene from their debut in AMA at Rush Hour, holding a broken Burgerman with a picture frame around him. Each of the family members have a glass of red wine on their tables in front of them. Eden looks towards the camera and raises her glass.

“I suppose I should be a good host.” She taps her glass with a fork. “Welcome once again to our home. You have been graciously granted the fortune of stepping within these walls so that we may address the upcoming match that my Warrior and my Princess find themselves in.” Eden places the glass down onto a side table near her and adjusts her seated position to lean towards the camera. “A Tag Team Turmoil match. A very apt name. I find it a little funny, for the ones in turmoil are all of the other pairings. You see, alone, Slate Bass and Princess Nova are forces to be reckoned with. Their reputation is earned. Together, well, AMA has just assured their fledgling tag team division shall be ruled by the most unstoppable force to reside in the company. We would like to apologize in advance for holding it hostage.”

Princess Nova adds to her mentor’s point. “And it is a shame, really. In an attempt to quell our potential to rule the singles realms, they just created an even larger headache for themselves.”

“Perhaps they needed a true family to carry the misfits and orphans in the ranks.” the TORN Warrior suggests.

“The idea that anybody else presents to be more of a team, an airtight unit, than us, is a joke. The Residence realizing our potential and hiking to the top of this division is all but a formality.” Eden chimes in, now picking her glass back up and taking a sip before continuing. “Let’s begin this…procession of your opponents, shall we?”

Princess Nova giggles before taking a sip of her drink. “Well, we should start with words, but I think our actions already have spoken for one team’s chances in this match…” Princess Nova gestures towards both the dolls on the ground and the picture above them of Burgerman.

Slate Bass stands from his seat, strokes his beard, and slightly paces near his chair. “Normally I am one to speak metaphorically. But in this case, why are we being tasked with defiling literal corpses? Granted, that walking tub of lard was the only man on his team to actually put up a fight, no matter how futile, and for that I at least have some semblance of respect for…Belly Boy… Burgerman, however… well the bar was low and he somehow managed to ground up and bury himself.”

“This statement is not a theory, but fact. If they enter before us, they will not last. If we are already there, then they will go from an appetizer to just a dessert, no matter how furious our battle has been.” There is a cold chuckle from Nova and she turns to Keres. “Want to see daddy and your sister beat up those slobs again?”

“Kid’s meal!” Keres shouts and claps. Nova grins and pats her on the head.

“Exactly!”

Eden motions to Nova and says, “Nova, would you mind holding Keres? I just love her outfit and don’t want it getting dirtied by the floor. And you two look adorable together anyway.”

Princess Nova lets out a big grin and nods. “Come here, Keres.” and she gently lifts her up on her knee, holding her with care.

Eden puts on a genuine, loving, smile. “Just as true sister’s would, your bond is strong. This right here is what family is. This is what siblings are. This is what the Bordeaux duo are not. Blood bonds need not apply when the shared strength and love of the Bassignani family is far superior.”

Slate, still standing, walks to Nova and Keres, booping his daughter on the nose. “The blood of the Bordeaux’s does make them quite unique in this match. Sole reason being that once it is spilled, it will blend together perfectly. That is the only way in which they will work in perfect unison. Their sibling bond does not make them a team. It makes them vulnerable. It makes them liabilities for one another. They will be littered with mistakes. And the inexperience on top of that is a recipe for early retirements. But rest assured, we are not evil, I will generously give to your retirement fund. And medical treatment.”

While bouncing Keres gently on her lap, Nova continues. “They may not last long in this company if they have the unfortunate situation of being in our way, but you do peak my curiosity. Two siblings losing parents at a young age. I have felt that. I know the struggle. But unlike you I did not find myself bound to blood. My blood did not pour and cloud my judgment. I moved on. I found a family that provided me with everything I had then and more. Unlike my blood family, I don’t find myself limiting my potential by being concerned for them. If anything, they enhance me. I help them. I have seen Bellatrix’s struggles on social media. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Of course, not the worst in the match with the fast food mascots around, but you have something just under the surface…” Nova’s voice starts to get colder. “Eating you, weighing you down, and Bret, I know you care for your sister, but she weighs you down. No matter how talented an athlete you may be, you have that handicap for all eternity. But that’s okay…”

Nova grins, “We’ll end your suffering.”
Eden raises her finger to speak. “Much like that cousin of yours, Nova. Ryan was talented. Had potential, and very well could have been in your seat. But to you, he was a problem. A hindrance. Now without him, you are far greater than you ever were or would have been with him. Bret will see that story unfold in due time I’m sure.”

“Everything happens with reason, as you say.” Nova smiles at Eden

“Correct.” Eden returns Nova’s grin with a small one of her own, “The best can think both with their mind and their hearts. It is just unfortunate that one of your opponents seems to lack those traits.”

Slate sips some of his red wine, and sighs. “Ah yes, you mean those unnecessarily chaotic and sloppy buffoons. What was it again? The group known as Malice? Remind me Eden, what does that word mean again?”

Eden slides her phone out of her pocket and, in a comedic tone, reads out “The intention to do evil or ill will. In other words, their intention is to be violent, by design.”

“And,” Princess Nova adds, “They are the ones who worship the ground that Humanity walks on. Shame that it seems that the vessel for Humanity, Brian, doesn’t share the same feelings.”

Slate chuckles and finally returns to his seat. “Hmph. A cult…with a leader that doesn’t wish to acknowledge the cult. Or more likely, a leader that is too weak, feeble, and simple-minded to handle guiding those that so desperately need it. If he were at all confident and effective, he would tell this other sorry, out of time cowboy and that otherwise lost Australian that they are out of their league. There is a lot of risk for them in this match. Their actions and tongues, when pointed at us, are probably best kept secret…if they wish to continue being able to worship their false messiah.”

Nova chimes in. “Perhaps there can be a day we bring those leadership qualities out of him? But for now, we have to deal with this group who is simply violent because. Using violence as an end, and not a means. So wasteful, and they took all that time to interfere in the Parking Lot Brawl and the man they attacked still won. They are not just lackeys, but ineffective ones at that. They would not even be worth the time for us to recruit and reshape.”

Eden scowls and almost lets out what sounds like a growl. “These, failures, and that’s being polite…but these failures even being given the opportunity to be in the same breath as us. These men, who are monsters for the sake of it. It is downright a form of disrespect if they think they’re worthy of breathing our air, let alone being capable of anything intelligent.”

“It’s a shame, really.” Nova hums, “Because if they could channel that violence into actual meaningful acts, they could have a chance at fighting us-”

“Speaking of fighting”, Eden says matter-of-factly, “What about Nova’s countrymen? A team that has to fight to earn a place in this match. The Northern Touch. I’ll admit, they at least have a catchy name. But their struggle is a big one. If they have anything left after that match, and after seemingly hating the land of Liberty or Death, they’ll be easy pickings for the two of you.”

“God bless America. And may their God bless these two men. Fighting to get in the match, fighting us, believing that they are fighting for their country…how sad. Their intentions are misguided, much like Malice. Their mindset and actions cloud them, their judgment and their outcomes. The sense of pride is admirable, welcome even. Our neighbors to the north are indeed a decent people. But, I’m sure that our Princess here would…disagree with the two of them on a certain level.”

Humming a second and looking at her glove covered hand, Nova giggles. “Merci… You see, I live in the Residence. Not my home and native land. While I have not shed my Canadian heritage, after all, The Residence respects our roots, but I realized that patriotism and nationalism blinds. Home is where the heart is and I still love things about Canada. The picturesque lakes, beautiful mountain-scapes, the peaceful East Coast, hockey is a sport which combines grace and brutality, Je parle anglais et français…”

Eden quickly interjects, “Which she also bestowed upon me. And may I just say, America is certainly flawed, and I do not champion it, but… Cette belle terre, l’anneau AMA et vos mains seront tachés du sang et des larmes de La touche nordique.”

Nova giggles and responds in French, “très bien mon cher ami,” before continuing. “But I should not be surprised that I see you two fall victim to the toxic patriotism that we so often criticize America for. It seems that Canadian identity is simply comparing yourselves to the United States. I understand the resentment, for America is the large neighbour to our south. As Pierre Eliiot Trudeau once said ‘Living next to America is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, one is affected by every twitch and grunt…’ and it can be frustrating. But this elitism we have comes with our own things not to be proud of. We believe we are more tolerant than the United States, but also washed away countless lives of Chinese immigrants, forcing them to work on building railroads cost-to-coast. We locked pour Japanese Canadians in camps during World War Two while similar atrocities were happening in Europe, and just last year, thousands of unmarked graves of Residential school children were found across the country. Poor aborinal children, separated from their families, killed because of their culture.”

“In lieu of French, allow me to speak in the tongue native to Eden and I for just a moment. Ehem, Americano. Canadese. La nazionalità in questo contesto è un fattore per sciocchi come voi. Ciò che tieni nell'orgoglio, ti manca di abilità.”

Eden translates, “For those uncultured that do not properly know any of the three languages used, what my TORN Warrior said is this. ‘American. Canadian. Nationality in this context is a factor for fools like yourselves. What you hold in pride, you lack in skill.’ And may I add, these words are what you will die by.”

Nova gives a small grin and nods. “I'm still learning my Italian, but as I was saying was I can admit flaws in the past. I feel for them. I’m ashamed by them, but I do not blindly ignore them. I do not lash out and blame another country, creating a vendetta…” Nova giggles, “that comes off as immature. If you two, Don Marshall and Jean-Louis Gagnon, continue to make a mockery of our nation then I will have no choice but to renounce my Canadian heritage so I will not have to be associated with you…”

Then Princess Nova laughs. “But for all I could know, you would not even make it to the Tag Team Turmoil.”

Slate finishes his blood red wine, rolls the glass around in his hand, and chuckles before beginning to speak. “And that brings us to Christopher McMichaels and Pariah. Members of the Hamad Dynasty, whatever that faction believes itself to be. Two men, that, for what it’s worth, have all the money and the power one needs, albeit split in two. Those paying attention will point out that I said one needs. Pariah has the power, Christopher has the money, I have both. The Bassignani family, The Residence, we have both. The difference between my combined wealth and power, and your individual wealth and individual power…mine matters. While I don’t rely on my significant financial standing to gain wins, you attempt to use yours for such, Christopher, and still fail. All the material possessions you could ever want, perhaps toxically so, and the one thing you cannot purchase is a victory. My wealth is secondary, it is of no concern to our goals or our actions. I quite literally have it all, but you will never see it flaunted.” Slate signals for the help to come over and retrieve his empty glass. He chuckles.

“Well, not flagrantly. And Pariah, this monster of a man, this powerhouse. A competitor truly like me, that has no problem ending an opponent or himself if it means accomplishing what they seek to accomplish. But the similar problem you share with Christopher…you can’t brute force your way into a win. Tell me, sir, how are we expected to respect you as a competitor? How are we meant to do that when you are so blissfully incapable of earning the respect of others or of respecting yourself? You are both shams. Your team is just me, split in two, with all of the dogshit amplified to an eleven. Excuse my language, I apologize.”

“You do not need to apologize, Slate. If anything, we should act like how Pariah treats his opportunities, especially when there is a chance for gold…” Nova responds and Slate nods.

“Agreed…”

And without another word said between the two, both Slate and Nova get up, with Nova still carrying Keres and simply walk away, emulating what Pariah did in the opening round of the Gold Rush tournament. A door shuts off camera and Eden gives a small smirk.

Eden stands from her seat, going to the center of the frame. “With the truth spoken, you all must now reconcile for your mistakes and sins.”

Eden walks towards the camera and shuts it off.​
 

Dolph Zinger

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A man is pacing back and forth in a room, this room had photographs, documents and post stick notes plastered all over the walls with strings of yarn crisscrossing everywhere between them.

"What does it all mean?"

One of the documents had ABL written on it.

"Why picture frames? Why the dolls? What is the connection?" the man asked himself aloud.

There was a picture of Princess Nova about half way down a pyramid of black and white shots taken from a distance, the picture at the top was of a silhouetted figure

"They've got something to do with it, follow the money Burgerman. They need to be investigated properly, old school style"

One of the lengths of yarn was pinned into a piece of paper with the word Bassinagi written on it circled in big red marker

"We find out what they know during the tag team match tonight" he says to himself as Burgerman crosses a line through the name
 
Last edited:

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"Are we Hitmen?"

Written By:
@WelshyBOI (Bellatrix Bordeaux)
and
@Patriot Pants (Bret Bordeaux)


The scene opens to give us a sky view of a rather beautiful image. We are greeted with the sight of an ocean that looks to be on fire, as the light from the slow falling sun glistens off of the waves. We see boats of various shapes and sizes cut their way through the water, greatly disturbing the otherwise tranquil ocean. The scene fades into a view of a busy street with french styling, littered with colorful beads and spilt cups, and the faint sound of jazz music playing in the background. We see a group of people enjoying a delicious-looking meal at a restaurant overlooking a mighty riverfront. Finally, the scene shifts to show a gray brick warehouse. The last remaining shreds of light from the setting sun protrude through the large, industrial windows. A few moments go by, before the scene fades to black, and is replaced by bold white text that reads…

16th January 2022
New Orleans, Louisiana, U.S.A


After a few moments, the text fades and we are graced with the sight of what looks to be the inside of a professional wrestling gym. The walls are adorned with a plethora of wrestling memorabilia, such as trophies, championship belts, and marquees. Despite being displayed with apparent pride, the awards and posters seem to not be well looked after, with many of the awards having been dented and scratched, and posters missing corners. Despite looking like it hasn’t been cleaned in a while, the place is well equipped, with weight benches, treadmills, rowing machines and punching bags of multiple varieties in various locations throughout, along with two full-sized wrestling rings.

As far as inhabitants are concerned, there aren’t many to speak of, just a scruffy looking young woman, sitting on the floor in front of one of the rings. Wearing a multicolored beanie hat, an unbuttoned black/gray/blue long-sleeved plaid shirt that's two sizes too big, with a Guns N' Roses tank top underneath, ripped black skinny jeans and a worn pair of white Nike sneakers, the young woman just sits there motionless, not even blinking as she stares at a man who's inside of the squared circle, watching as he runs the ropes and rolls around.

The man, dressed like he’s about to attend a wrestling funeral, is wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt, black shorts, black knee pads, black wrist wraps, and black shoes. He seems to be pushing himself, having broken into a sweat as he darts from one side of the ring to the other, performing springboard flips and landing on his feet, occasionally going to the top rope and performing a Diving Foot Stomp delivered with such ferocity, that it looks like it would mortally wound a victim upon impact. After a minute or two, the man comes to a halt, stopping by and resting himself against the ropes, leaning forward with his arms crossed over the top rope, his chest making contact with the rope. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he looks down upon the young woman, who had not moved so much as an inch from when she first caught our eye, and begins to speak, as she just stares at him, and stares… and stares.

“I know I make it look easy, but with a little practice, you'll be hitting this kind of stuff better than most vets can."

He nonchalantly shakes his head as if trying to get out any thoughts of doubt that may be creeping inside.

"Even if you don't, we'll be fine. You have me to pick up the slack, right?"

He pauses, seemingly waiting for a response, she does and says nothing, except stare. He continues.

"I mean, you're tagging with Bret Bordeaux! One of the hottest free agent signings of twenty-twenty-one. The upstart turned underdog, turned traveled champion. A guy who's wrestled in seven different countries with success."

He pauses and then laughs, she just stares.

"Man, I sound like an asshole, don't I?"

Bret quiets down his laugh and takes a breath.

"But for real, you and I have a chance here to make waves in tag team wrestling. I didn't ask you to join me in signing with AMA just because I thought you needed direction, I asked you to because I knew you'd be great at it. You have more potential than anyone I’ve ever seen and you and I, we've been picked to found a division in this company. And all we gotta do is run through three, maybe four, other teams. A cakewalk."

He bounces himself off the ropes, clearly getting a little excited as his voice rises a few tones. She just stares at him, as he begins to pace.

"I mean, unlike those other teams, we're an actual family. Not like those cultists in the Residence who brainwashed Nova Taylor into joining them. I mean, they beat the living crap out of her for months before she finally snapped, so I wouldn't call them anything close to a family. Hell, I watched the whole thing happen in LDW. It's free on YouTube, by the way, you should watch the tape on ‘em. They're dangerous. Especially Slate. I've seen him break dude's spines with that Bassline powerbomb. But you wanna know the worst thing about him?.."

Bret takes a breath, a look of pent up frustration brewing on his face. He lets out the air and speaks quickly.

"STRAIGHT UP denied my application to wrestle there! I mean who does this fucker think he is?! A pompous ass bitch, that's who. Drinking his little martinis, wrestling in a suit, looking like a CW character. Fuck that guy. In the match, you avoid him and let me handle him. I'll make him remember the name of Bordeaux."

Having worked himself into a shoot, so to speak, Bret pauses for a moment, looking rather taken aback by his outburst. After calming himself, he continues.

"Sorry, that was just a year of pent up frustration. But the point still stands. The Residence is who we have to look out for. We separate them, they're still gonna be difficult. Like I said I'll take Slate. You don't go near him. Worse comes to worst and somehow it's you and Nova without me there, you stay on her. Don't give her a chance to breathe. That's how guys have beaten her before and it's how we're gonna do it. But don't get so caught up that you forget about the other guys coming in the match, Tri-..."

Bret turns to look over at his sister and the words begin to fade away, along with the shot. The camera slowly begins to zoom in on the young woman, getting ever closer until eventually, the video fades to darkness…

After a few moments, the scene opens back up, but this time to the sights and sounds of a nature-filled paradise that looks to be straight out of a fairytale movie. Birds swoop past the screen, chirping happily and looking to be playing a game of tag, as they dart in between the leaves and branches of massive, majestic trees, whose branches are dancing with the aid of a light breeze. We follow little drops of water that' shaken off of the leaves and land onto the grass bed below, a few drops hitting the head of a beautiful white-furred bunny rabbit, who flinches at the impact of water-on-head, before wiping the moisture off of its noggin and scurrying over to its family and friends of multiple species.

As the wild social group runs, hops, and gallops along the floor, they are joined by a pretty young woman, wearing a beautiful black dress that would look at home in the wardrobe of a Disney character. Skipping barefoot amongst the beautiful creatures, with a joyful smile on her face that would light up the world if the sun had been blotted out of the sky, the young woman looks to be having the time of her life, as the motley crew of nature seems to welcome her as one of their own. As they move along, laughing in their unique languages, the majestic scene is interrupted by a voice that sounds to be a million miles away, and yet at the same time, close enough that it startles the young woman's friends as they all retreat, trying to find places to hide, seemingly afraid that the distant voice is out to get them.

In stark contrast to her friends, the young woman stands her ground, looking to be listening hard, trying to hear what the disembodied voice is saying.

"Trix?"

As the disembodied voice finishes. The name Trix echoes from a faded tone into an almost booming sound, causing the wonderful forest and all of its joyful inhabitants to slowly dissipate, becoming less visible with every word uttered.

"Trixie? Are you listening?"

The final word of the disembodied voice seems to have killed the last remnants of the wildlife wonderland, returning us to the gym with the scruffy-looking young woman, who’s still sitting, staring, and not blinking. She has an entranced look in her heavily mascaraed eyes, seemingly exploring a very peaceful and enchanting daydream, one which is currently being disturbed.

"Bellatrix Bordeaux!"

Blinking at hearing what is presumably her name, Bellatrix, now having been fully dragged out of the weird and wonderful world that is her mind, finally acknowledges her brother.

"What? Bret? When did you get here?"

Trixie, suddenly realizing that she's no longer inside the tranquil forest, takes a look around at her new surroundings. The lights from above pierced her eyes. His face is different from the focused and confident one we saw before. A small crack appeared above his right eye. This place looks to be the furthest thing from where the scruffy young woman just mentally traveled from.

"When did we get here? Where are we?"

Closing his eyes and taking a deep, frustration filled breath as he realizes that Bellatrix had not listened to a single thing he has said up to this point, Bret responds, trying his best to keep his voice calm.

"Trix, come on, you gotta pay attention. We have to be on the same page if we want to win this."

Looking utterly bewildered, Bellatrix responds…

"Win what?"

Matching the perplexed look on “Trix’s” face with one of his own, as he’s seemingly dumbfounded at his sister’s complete and utter cluelessness, Bret retorts, in a slightly raised voice…

“Uhh, our match!?”

Apparently, this answer did not help her confusion, as “Trix” replies with…

“Wait, what? Why do we need a match? Are we starting a fire or something?”

Bret, in a comedic fashion that was unintentional, facepalms himself while shaking his head disbelievingly, before muttering to himself…

“God damnit…”

Trying to regain some semblance of composure, he releases his face from his hand and continues…

“We’re not starting any fires because I’m not talking about that sorta match. The match that I've been talking about all day is what's called a ‘wrestling match’. The things I've been doing for the past five or so years?"

Trixie scrunches her face, her lost look not changed in the slightest. Her brother, most likely defeated, sighs and shakes his head before continuing.

"A ‘wrestling match’ is where a predetermined number of people enters a ring, like the one I’m currently standing in, intending to beat the fuck out of their opponents so that they can win said ‘match’, resulting in them making more money than they would’ve if they’d lost and hopefully, earning a title opportunity in the future… Get it?”

While Bret stares at her with a glint of hope in his eye that she’d grasped what he said, Bellatrix has her thinking face on, and after a moment, she responds.

“Soooooo, you want to beat someone up for money?”

While not everything that he’d hoped for, Bret, happy to be making progress, smiles pridefully at his sister.

“Nooooo, no, I want US to beat someone up for money! Well, multiple someones, actually. See, we’re in what's called a ‘tag-team turmoil’ match, where we’ll be fighting four other teams, but not all at the same time. Two teams start the match, and when one gets eliminated, another team comes in to take their place. Eventually, only one team is left standing and they're the winners. I want that team to be us…you get me?”

Bellatrix pauses for a moment, before responding.

“Soooooo, people are gonna line up so that we can beat them up one at a time…and then we steal their money?”

Bret squints his eyes and mouths "what the fuck?". His expression is of pure amazement that his sister has not yet grasped what he's been saying. He nevertheless answers her.

“We’re not … we're not stealing the money from the people we beat up, Trix. We’re getting PAID by AMA to beat them up. It’s called a job … OUR new job.”

Trixie stares at him blankly for a few seconds before blinking at him twice. Then, as the gears begin to turn, an understanding smile begins to form on her face. She nods and points at her brother.

“So…we’re hitmen.”

Hanging his head in defeat and placing his hands on his hips, Bret can barely be heard muttering to himself.

"I just…fuck it, go with it."

Bret raises his head and he's not looking thrilled to be blatantly lying to his sister. But he has to get her on the same page, so a white lie won't hurt … right?

“Yes, Trix. We're hitmen."

Bellatrix does a small fist pump and whispers to herself excitedly.

"Yesss, I knew it."

"And since we're hitmen, I've put together a…plan…to help us prepare for our…job. So just chill right here for a sec and I'll be right back."

She watches as he rolls out the far side of the ring and the shot fades into a few moments into the future.

Sweeping up from the side of the ring and over the apron shows the two standing in it, joined by a whiteboard leaning against the opposite side of the ropes. Official AMA headshots taped onto it in a pyramid based format, writing surrounds each picture and level with the most notable being that of quickly scribbled text spelling "Hitlist" at the top.

"Okay, so we've already talked about them."

Looking confused, Bellatrix responds.

“When?”

"When you were spaced out. Now look…"

Bret taps the top of the pyramid, his finger landing firmly on Princess Nova's headshot and then bouncing over the Slate's.

"They're threat numero uno. They're both very good and will make us regret being born if we make any mistakes and give them an opening. So you let me do the heavy lifting. But these guys, these two right here? Malice."

He moves his finger down to the second "rung" of the graph to the headshots of Hangman James and Donovan Grayson. The text "What kind of name is Malice?" Lined through by the picture of Grayson.

"I don't know why they're called that, they're not that intimidating once you see them in action. They've got some size, sure, but they're not all there if you know what I mean. Damn good VFX work though."

Bret takes his hand back and looks at his sister who is standing there trying her best to pay attention.

"They're made up of three people, but we're only facing the two on the board. Hangman James and Donovan Grayson."

Trix raises her hand quickly, to which Bret snaps a finger in acknowledgement.

"Why does he call himself Hangman?"

Bret answers quickly without skipping a beat.

"He's predicting his future."

Bellatrix makes a face of awkwardness at the joke but a small nasally laugh escapes her as she looks into the camera. She quickly catches herself and looks back as Bret continues speaking.

"This guy here, Grayson, he's the key. He's the least experienced member of the team, kinda like how you are with ours. Except you have room to improve and he's at his ceiling. So we take them out like true tag wrestlers. Isolate Grayson in the ring, and pick him off. Cake walked."

He crosses his arms and continues.

"I'm sure James won't be too happy about us beating the hell out of his stablemate, but if he tries to jump in we'll just kick his ass too."

"Soooo, we can't just talk it out?"

He shrugs.

"I mean sure, go for it. I doubt they'll listen to you over the god in their heads though."

Bret turns to point his attention to another team on the second "rung".

"Wait, they can hear go-"

"Anyways, these guys here?"

He circles around pictures of McMichaels, Pariah, Marshall, Gagnon.

"We don't know which team is coming in last yet, but they'll have just worked a match to open the show so they'll hopefully be worn already. We just simply have to survive until then and work our magic. The game plan doesn't change. Isolate, control, and eliminate ‘em."

Trixie quietly mummers with enthusiasm.

"Hitmen."

He looks at his sister confidently.

"Any questions?"

She raises her hand.

"Yeah?"

Trix then points at the bottom "rung" towards the last two pictures on there. Belly-Boy and Burgerman, printed out in black and white instead of color.

"What about those guys?"

Bret keeps his focus on his sister, never looking to where she's pointing. His voice deadpan.

"We don't give a fuck about those guys."

Trix mouths "oh" as Bret claps his hands together.

"Alright! Let's get to work!"

He then nonchalantly tosses the whiteboard out of the ring to clear up space as Trix stands up. He turns to face her again.

"We don't have a lot of time so we have to hit training hard if we want to show the world who we are."

"Uhhhh … you mean Bret and Bellatrix?"

"No, I mean …."

The screen turns black as white text flashes on the screen.

qYA84Kiwa-Bu2Ify7kquxYpbv0ELa4HFGkpJGTPUxkfNIgXW5_RNetI232oRKo8CWY-A_oPLNHJgyJ2LcuCZDwyH3-82zpSawoHRiQX3cOZ83mk8p4mqVatrVuQzx9XdmCLVopD3


A few seconds of silence go by and Trix's voice peeks up.

"Bro, did the lights go out for you too?"


THE END!
 

Kiffy Lube

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
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"AHHHHHHH YEAH, BURGERMAN" is heard very loudly from around the corner of tonight's caterin' section (since Belly Boy waited until the last moment to cut a promo.)

The camera pans around and Belly Boy is scene with about 6 plates of foods. He's just goin' to town.

Belly Boy Williams: "We're gonna get the job tonight, Burgerman!"

Williams keeps eatin' and slobberin' all over his sexy Louie Anderson type body. Even mushin' some mashed potatoes up against his large man tits.

Belly Boy Williams: "If we don't..."

Belly Boy throws one of his plates across the room hittin' some random lady for no reason. Continues to burp like a lunatic before gettin' back to what he was sayin'.

Belly Boy Williams: "You see that, Burger... I'm leavin' some room open in case you fuck me over because I am goin' to eat you alive inside an AMA ring.... YAAAAAAA know it."

Once again, Belly is seemingly unconcerned with his opponents and goes back to eatin'. Belly throws up a little bit on his plate... he looks around for a second to see if anyone is lookin' before scoopin' his own puke in his mouth.

Belly Boy Williams: "AHHHHH YEAH, this caterin' is fuckin' delicious. I don't see any burgers though..."

The camera man slowly leaves after seein' this disgustin' display before you can hear him gaggin' as the scene ends.
 

Comrade Khan

The Ace of WS
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Trans Canada Highway
Rest Stop
4:20 A.M

A red pickup truck runs idle in the empty parking lot of Trans Canada Highway Rest stop. The dim light above two rows of petroleum gas pumps barely illuminate the beat up asphalt and faded white stripes separating each potential parking spot. As we approach the red Chevy we hear muffled coughs as thick hazy white smoke emanates from the rolled down driver side window.

The camera switches to a cell phone camera filming from the selfie position, and is held by none other than Le Fantastique Jean-Louis Gagnon of the world famous tag team The Northern Touch. His shoulder length dark brown hair is greasy but mostly hidden his usual Montreal Canadiens tuque (you yanks call it a beanie). He uses the camera to look at his eyes and face and judges that it looks fine and licks his lips followed by blowing a kiss. His other hand appears and he produces a large blunt, its cherry burning like a crackling ember. He brings it to his mischievous lips and takes a massive inhale, trapping the remaining smoke attempting to escape under his nostrils to create a reverse waterfall of vapor.

He puts the bat down in the trucks ash tray in looks at the phone camera.

" Now we got a text earlier from Bobby that said we had to enter another match after disposing of The Hamad Agency at Manifest Destiny. Pretty interesting that once again the powers that be try to sneak us in to multiple matches throughout the night. But shit, who can blame them when The Northern Touch is the number one draw in professional wrestling? They'd book us every segment if they could get away with it, I would."

Johnny chuckles and shakes his side to side like a cartoon villain, much like a certain famous cross-fit villain.

" What's worse is our agent didn't seem to bother doing his job again and let this happen. It's pretty concerning the way we have been treated in AMA. We should have had a red carper drawn for us, wined and dined and partying with the finest women around. Instead we've been treated like second class citizens. Imagine that? The best professional athletes to come out of Canada since they rescued those orphans from that "dungeon" in Calgary! Best ever, period!"

He reaches his arm behind and the camera observes a large bear like man fast asleep in the backseat. As the camera gets closer we see a 40 oz of whiskey clutched under his right arm and chest. He is snoring through his large wild beard. The camera zooms back and returns to facing Mr. Gagnon.

" He's had a long night. What can I say being an absolute savage takes a lot of TLC, if you get me. So let me this straight. Once we're through with SHAM-ad we're going to have the scraps of whatever's left off of what we might as well have gotten from Rent-a-Worker. Let's walks through these sad sacks of shit, since I've been hearing quite a few have the delusion that they even have the right to breathe the same air we do in the right."

" Let's start with the biggest joke in this so called contest, "callisse de tabarnak"(fucking hell) . A fucking burger and a fat American. Talk about a team made in heaven. Not sure what the hell you think you're doing in the ring instead of some inbred backyard wedding. If you somehow make it The Northern Touch, we'll have your asses grilled and pinned faster than you can say triple coronary bypass. Not that you'd know what that means working at grease pit."

"Second, who we got...who we got...Oh! Speaking of Inbred Families we got house of a thousand corpses meets my little pony cosplayers Princess Nova and Slate Bass. Are you sure you guys aren't supposed to be on Adult Swim with the rest of the emotionally stunted sub-humans? You set a good scene and talk a good game, I'll give you that. But at the end of the day you're a bunch of wannabe vampires kids who probably watched The Lost Boys too many times. We're gonna walk right through your skinny goth asses and drive a fucking stake right through your hearts. NEXT!"

" Malice? Oh boy, the team who just stood around instead of helping their supposed dude Humanity. No wonder they haven't said a word yet, I'd be embarrassed too to have some random kabuki ghost do your job for you as you just stand there looking dumb. Why is this team even in this contest, I liked the burger more than these failed goons."

" Which brings me to the new kids of the block, the Bordeaux. Are you guys even French? I doubt it and just trying to sound like one of us. Goes well with your theme of being obvious fakes who shouldn't even be in a wrestling ring. Bret, dude, why are being such a beta bitch and putting your sister in danger like this? Do you know what happens when people step in the ring with Don and me? People get hurt. Sometimes permanently. We love what we do, Bret. So I'm begging you, don't bring your weak, pathetic little sister between those four posts. Because if you do, we're not going to show either of you an ounce of mercy. You'll have no one but to blame but yourself Bret."


Suddenly a flashlight blinds the back of the pickup and a man's voice is heard yelling french. Johnny kicks into gear and shakes Don awake and yells.

"Don, wake the fuck up bud, we gotta go! Gimme that empty too!"

Don grunts and shoots awake, handing the empty 40oz up to Johnny-Lou, letting out a burp.

" I borrowed this truck earlier and looks like we're gonna have to cut this promo short, bitches. We'll see all of you at Manifest Destiny. Well whichever one of you is unlucky enough to face us last, that is! Been nice knowing you, buds!"

Johnny turns around out the window as a middle age man approaches yelling in french about his truck. Johnny casually throws the empty whiskey bottle at his face and it explodes, sending him falling backwards as glass blood and flesh rain through the air. Johnny slams on the gas and the truck roars away onto the merging highway ahead, a billow of smoke still escaping the window as he puffs it one last time and turns the phone off.