Soulpower
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Welcome to this week's RAW review. We are 6 days away (5, actually) from Unforgiven, and set for tonight is the contract signing between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho
We start off RAW with Randy Orton, who runs down the RAW brand and its champions. He calls CM Punk a disgrace to RAW and the World Heavyweight Chamionship, which brings out Mr.Punk. Punk points out that not everyone has a grandfather and a father that was in the business, and that some people have to work hard to get to the top (Mostly male pornstars, M I RITE PPLS?!?). CM mentions Orton's motorcycle accident (ITS A SHOOT!), and calls The Age of Orton an afterthought. Some more back and forth, which leads with Orton leaving the ring.
JBL now makes his way to the ring. He mentions that Punk has an 80% chance of losing the strap at Unforgiven, and that a true champion will walk out of Unforgiven.Kanenow comes out, and mentions that Rey Mysterio will NOT be here tonight due to his actions. Batista comes out and he is ANGRY! He says nothing and Spears everyone before leaving.
COMMERCIAL!!!!
We are back and JOHN CENA is here.... Or not, its just Charlie Haas. Still, he got a huge pop. :shifty:
Kofi Kingston vs John CenHaas? (I've got nothing)
This was a squash. Haas got pretty much no offense. His attempts at an FU, and a 5 Knuckle Shuffle were foiled. Kofi gets the win with The Trouble In Paradise.
Winner:Kofi Kingston
Match Rating:*
COMMERCIAL!!!
Backstage, Dibiase and Rhodes confront Randy Orton. He slaps Rhodes and tells both men to grow a sack.
Back, backstage, Adamle, Long and Tiffany are talking business and we will ge a preview of the ECW Scramble match. Kane barges in and asks Adamle why he announced Rey as returning. Kane says that Rey has been massacred, but that we're all welcome to keep hoping for Mysterio's return.
ECW CS Battle Royal:Mark Henry vs Matt Hardy vs Finlay vs Chavo W/BAM F'N NEELY vs The Miz
All men gang up on Henry early, but he just shrugs it off. Miz and Matt actually team up for a bit and hit a Double DDT on Mark. Henry just says "fuck this" and elminates Chavo and Miz at the same time, he eliminates Finlay shortly after that. Its down to Matt and Henry, and Hardy beating down the big man, he hits the Elbow from the second rope, signals for the Twist of Fate, but Mark Henry just lifts him up and tosses him outside for the win.
Winner:Mark Henry
Match Rating:**
COMMERCIAL!!!
Jamie Noble vs William Regal
Noble once again called out Layla (Who's looking mighty delicious at ringside), to show her what he's got. Regal dominates for the most part, by hitting the Regal Plex twice (Which just about kills Noble). Noble manages to catch Regal in a Small Package, and he gets the upset win.
Winner:Jamie Noble
Match Rating:*
COMMERCIAL!!!
Kelly Kelly, Mickie James and Candice Michelle vs Beth Phoenix, Katie Lea and Jillian
Before the match, Beth addresses Orton about his comments, and calls herself the top diva in the company. Candice returns, no one cares. Pretty basic match with the heels dominating for the most part. Candice gets the hot tag and proceeds to botch a Headscissors... yup. Candice gets the win for her team with a roll-up.
Winners:Candice Michelle and the other two gals.. But they're not important
Match Rating:*1/2
COMMERCIAL!!!
Santino comes out, and he brings out the Honk-O-Meter. He says that Honky Tonk Man was champion for 64 weeks, while he was already been IC champ for 2 weeks. He says he will be the greatest IC Champion of all times.
Santino Marella vs D'Lo Brown
Typical Santino match. D'Lo kicks his ass throughout the match, even hitting a Shining Wizard. Brown goes for the Lo Down, misses, and Santino gets the win via a lucky pin.
Winner:Santino Marella
Match Rating:1/2*
Another F'N COMMERCIAL!!!
We get the 24/7 video, and it shows Austin hitting Vince with a Stunner for the first time.
The Miz and John Morrison vs Cryme Tyme
Before the match starts, Simply Priceless run out and take out Cryme Tyme. Dibiase clocks Shad with one of the belts, Cody DDT's JTG on the other belt.
Winner:No Contest
Match Rating:N/A
You guessed it! Commercial!!!
Backstage, Rhodes and Dibiase show off the belts to Randy Orton. Randy approves. Josh Matthews, Mickie James and Mr.Kennedy are in the Republican National Convention, and they URGING people to vote. Don't do it, its a waste of time, instead, you should get drunk on election day.
Once again, backstage. Grisham interviews Batista, and asks him about his gameplan for tonight's match. Batista:I'm going to destroy everyone.
Randy Orton is out to watch the following match.
CM Punk vs Kane vs Batista vs JBL (CS Battle Royal)
Batista starts off on fire, but Spearing and or hitting a Spinebuster on everyone. He walks into a Big Boot by Kane, and is quickly eliminated by CM Punk. JBL hits both Kane and Punk with Big Boots, but is then Backdropped (And eliminated by Punk). Its down to Kane and Punk. Kane dominates and tries to toss out Punk, but he manages to hold on to the ropes. Sidewalk Slam by Kane, but he misses a charge to the corner. Punk hits a trio of Running Knees, then goes for the GTS but Kane is able to elbow his way out. Kane tosses Punk to the ring apron, who Sprinboards... Right into the Goozle by Kane. Kane tosses Punk out, and this one is over!
Winner:Kane
Match Rating:**
Post-Match, Orton applauds while looking at Punk. Punk and Orton go face to face, and CM throws some water in Randy's face (ZOMG, HEEL!).
REY MYSTERIO comes out (Looking completely healthy, meaning that either Kane is a liar, or that creative had NOTHING for this angle) and beats down Kane. He hits the 619 around the ring post, then hits a Hurracanrana on the outside, that sends Kane to the front row.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Contract Signing for the Michaels-Jericho match
Dude, I'm not recapping this. It was a great promo by both men (AGAIN!). They tease a fight, but Lance Cade tries to attack Shawn, and Michaels goes after him (As Jericho calmly leaves the ring). At some point during this scuffle Shawn went for some sort of dive, and you could tell he was hurt (Torn Triceps). If you look close enough, you can see Shawn's tricep.. and let's just say its not supposed to look like that.
End show.
Overall Thoughts:Well, it was a go-home show, and they did all they could to build up various matches for the PPV. We also got a couple of teases for a Punk-Orton feud. The matches were nothing to write home about, but the rest of the show was good. Shawn is going to wrestle at Unforgiven despite the injury, and I still think that it will be a great match. Once again, both men were money on the mic tonight. My only problem with the show was how Rey returned with any scratches, despite being "Physically Eviscerated" by Kane... Then again, Kane's entire career has been full of many plotholes, so this isn't much of a surprise. Still a solid show, that did what it was supposed to do... Sell the PPV.
It feels like I say this every week (Probably because I say it every week), but remember to read Kaedon's NSZ and his SD review, as well as TJ's ECW Review, and BKB's Impact review.
Until next week, I am out!
We start off RAW with Randy Orton, who runs down the RAW brand and its champions. He calls CM Punk a disgrace to RAW and the World Heavyweight Chamionship, which brings out Mr.Punk. Punk points out that not everyone has a grandfather and a father that was in the business, and that some people have to work hard to get to the top (Mostly male pornstars, M I RITE PPLS?!?). CM mentions Orton's motorcycle accident (ITS A SHOOT!), and calls The Age of Orton an afterthought. Some more back and forth, which leads with Orton leaving the ring.
JBL now makes his way to the ring. He mentions that Punk has an 80% chance of losing the strap at Unforgiven, and that a true champion will walk out of Unforgiven.Kanenow comes out, and mentions that Rey Mysterio will NOT be here tonight due to his actions. Batista comes out and he is ANGRY! He says nothing and Spears everyone before leaving.
COMMERCIAL!!!!
We are back and JOHN CENA is here.... Or not, its just Charlie Haas. Still, he got a huge pop. :shifty:
Kofi Kingston vs John CenHaas? (I've got nothing)
This was a squash. Haas got pretty much no offense. His attempts at an FU, and a 5 Knuckle Shuffle were foiled. Kofi gets the win with The Trouble In Paradise.
Winner:Kofi Kingston
Match Rating:*
COMMERCIAL!!!
Backstage, Dibiase and Rhodes confront Randy Orton. He slaps Rhodes and tells both men to grow a sack.
Back, backstage, Adamle, Long and Tiffany are talking business and we will ge a preview of the ECW Scramble match. Kane barges in and asks Adamle why he announced Rey as returning. Kane says that Rey has been massacred, but that we're all welcome to keep hoping for Mysterio's return.
ECW CS Battle Royal:Mark Henry vs Matt Hardy vs Finlay vs Chavo W/BAM F'N NEELY vs The Miz
All men gang up on Henry early, but he just shrugs it off. Miz and Matt actually team up for a bit and hit a Double DDT on Mark. Henry just says "fuck this" and elminates Chavo and Miz at the same time, he eliminates Finlay shortly after that. Its down to Matt and Henry, and Hardy beating down the big man, he hits the Elbow from the second rope, signals for the Twist of Fate, but Mark Henry just lifts him up and tosses him outside for the win.
Winner:Mark Henry
Match Rating:**
COMMERCIAL!!!
Jamie Noble vs William Regal
Noble once again called out Layla (Who's looking mighty delicious at ringside), to show her what he's got. Regal dominates for the most part, by hitting the Regal Plex twice (Which just about kills Noble). Noble manages to catch Regal in a Small Package, and he gets the upset win.
Winner:Jamie Noble
Match Rating:*
COMMERCIAL!!!
Kelly Kelly, Mickie James and Candice Michelle vs Beth Phoenix, Katie Lea and Jillian
Before the match, Beth addresses Orton about his comments, and calls herself the top diva in the company. Candice returns, no one cares. Pretty basic match with the heels dominating for the most part. Candice gets the hot tag and proceeds to botch a Headscissors... yup. Candice gets the win for her team with a roll-up.
Winners:Candice Michelle and the other two gals.. But they're not important
Match Rating:*1/2
COMMERCIAL!!!
Santino comes out, and he brings out the Honk-O-Meter. He says that Honky Tonk Man was champion for 64 weeks, while he was already been IC champ for 2 weeks. He says he will be the greatest IC Champion of all times.
Santino Marella vs D'Lo Brown
Typical Santino match. D'Lo kicks his ass throughout the match, even hitting a Shining Wizard. Brown goes for the Lo Down, misses, and Santino gets the win via a lucky pin.
Winner:Santino Marella
Match Rating:1/2*
Another F'N COMMERCIAL!!!
We get the 24/7 video, and it shows Austin hitting Vince with a Stunner for the first time.
The Miz and John Morrison vs Cryme Tyme
Before the match starts, Simply Priceless run out and take out Cryme Tyme. Dibiase clocks Shad with one of the belts, Cody DDT's JTG on the other belt.
Winner:No Contest
Match Rating:N/A
You guessed it! Commercial!!!
Backstage, Rhodes and Dibiase show off the belts to Randy Orton. Randy approves. Josh Matthews, Mickie James and Mr.Kennedy are in the Republican National Convention, and they URGING people to vote. Don't do it, its a waste of time, instead, you should get drunk on election day.
Once again, backstage. Grisham interviews Batista, and asks him about his gameplan for tonight's match. Batista:I'm going to destroy everyone.
Randy Orton is out to watch the following match.
CM Punk vs Kane vs Batista vs JBL (CS Battle Royal)
Batista starts off on fire, but Spearing and or hitting a Spinebuster on everyone. He walks into a Big Boot by Kane, and is quickly eliminated by CM Punk. JBL hits both Kane and Punk with Big Boots, but is then Backdropped (And eliminated by Punk). Its down to Kane and Punk. Kane dominates and tries to toss out Punk, but he manages to hold on to the ropes. Sidewalk Slam by Kane, but he misses a charge to the corner. Punk hits a trio of Running Knees, then goes for the GTS but Kane is able to elbow his way out. Kane tosses Punk to the ring apron, who Sprinboards... Right into the Goozle by Kane. Kane tosses Punk out, and this one is over!
Winner:Kane
Match Rating:**
Post-Match, Orton applauds while looking at Punk. Punk and Orton go face to face, and CM throws some water in Randy's face (ZOMG, HEEL!).
REY MYSTERIO comes out (Looking completely healthy, meaning that either Kane is a liar, or that creative had NOTHING for this angle) and beats down Kane. He hits the 619 around the ring post, then hits a Hurracanrana on the outside, that sends Kane to the front row.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Contract Signing for the Michaels-Jericho match
Dude, I'm not recapping this. It was a great promo by both men (AGAIN!). They tease a fight, but Lance Cade tries to attack Shawn, and Michaels goes after him (As Jericho calmly leaves the ring). At some point during this scuffle Shawn went for some sort of dive, and you could tell he was hurt (Torn Triceps). If you look close enough, you can see Shawn's tricep.. and let's just say its not supposed to look like that.
End show.
Overall Thoughts:Well, it was a go-home show, and they did all they could to build up various matches for the PPV. We also got a couple of teases for a Punk-Orton feud. The matches were nothing to write home about, but the rest of the show was good. Shawn is going to wrestle at Unforgiven despite the injury, and I still think that it will be a great match. Once again, both men were money on the mic tonight. My only problem with the show was how Rey returned with any scratches, despite being "Physically Eviscerated" by Kane... Then again, Kane's entire career has been full of many plotholes, so this isn't much of a surprise. Still a solid show, that did what it was supposed to do... Sell the PPV.
It feels like I say this every week (Probably because I say it every week), but remember to read Kaedon's NSZ and his SD review, as well as TJ's ECW Review, and BKB's Impact review.
Until next week, I am out!
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