Soulpower
Guest
Welcome, to this week's RAW review. On tap for tonight, the ever-lasting legacy of Vince Russo's WWE run. In other words, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase defend (And more than likely drop) the tag titles against the make-shift team (OF WRESTLERS THAT DON'T GET ALONG!) of John Cena vs Batista. Also, Mike Adamle, but no one cares about him. On to the review!!
We start the show with the NEW General Manager, Mike Adamle. He compares himself to Ronald Reagan and as soon as he does, I tune him out until JBL comes out. Bradshaw talks some smack, and tells Mike that he should get a title shot at Summerslam. Jericho follows suit (Oddly enough, wearing a suit), and demands that HE get a title shot at SS.
Adamle makes a handicap match with JBL and Jericho teaming up to face Punk. If either JBL or Jericho pin Punk, he (The person who pinned CM) will get a title shot at SS. HOWEVER, if Punk pins either JBL or Jericho, no one gets a title shot. (Fun Fact:On Sunday, WWE started selling SS shirts and it was advertising JBL vs Punk as one of the matches!)
COMMERCIAL!!!
Kofi Kingston vs Paul Burchill (Intercontinental Title Match)
Burchill takes over early with his power, until Kofi whips Paul into the corner and hits the Leaping Turnbuckle Punches. Katie distracts Kofi on the apron, which allows brother Paul to once again, take over. Burchill gets a 2 count after a Neckbreaker, then continues to pummel Kofi until he gets a roll-up for a near fall. Burchill locks in an ORTONLOCK, but Kofi escapes and hits a Dropkick followed by a Flying Forearm. Kingston hits a Springboard Crossbody, the Boop Boop Legdrop, and The Trouble in Paradise for the win.
Winner:Kofi Kingston
Post-Match, Paul tries to cheap-shot Kofi, but he makes his own save. Mickie James runs down to the ring, and we will a Women's title match.. NEXT!
COMMERCIAL!!
Mickie James vs Katie Lea Burchill (Women's Title Match)
Match is already in progress. Mickie is dominating and she hits a Snapmare, followed by a Low-Dropkick. Katie rolls out of the ring, but Mickie hits a Thesz Press from the apron. We're back in the ring, and Katie locks in a Bow and Arrow on James. Mickie escapes, and hits the Head-Scissors from the corner, followed by a Neckbreaker for a two count. Katie comes back and hits a Northern Lights Suplex, for a near fall. Mickie is back up, she hits the Screaming DDT, and this one is OVER!!
Winner:Mickie James
Post-Match, Beth Phoenix comes out and just demolishes Mickie James. Santino appears on the ramp and claps for Beth. Beth grabs Santino's ass, so Santino grabs Beth's ass.
COMMERCIAL!!!
WWE pimps WWE 24/7 by showing old footage of Austin hittng Slaughter with a Stunner. Backstage, Santino and Beth both ask Adamle for a title match at Summerslam (Santino wants the IC title, Beth the Women's title). Adamle makes a Mixed Tag Match for SS (Beth-Santino vs Mickie-Kofi) with both titles on the life.. WORD LIFE, THIS MATCH IS BASIC RUSSONOMICS.
EPIC John Cena video package to hype up Summerslam. Backstage (Again), Grisham interviews Batista, who once again tells Cena to stay out of his way tonight.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We come back and Layla is dancing in the ring. We get footage from earlier in the day, which showed Layla rejecting Jamie Noble, because she doesn't associate herself with losers. Noble threatens her by saying someone else will be eating her Pecan Waffle from Wafflehouse.
William Regal interrupts, and reintroduces himself to the fans. He reminds us that he is OUR King, and he earned it by beating a midget (And beating Hornswoggle, BURN!!!). Jamie Noble comes out and we have a BRAWL. Referees come out and pull both men apart.
Backstage, CM Punk walks to the ring.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and we learn that Lance Cade suffered a broken nose over the weekend. The competitors make their way to the ring and HOLY CRAP, Jericho is wearing short trunks.. WHY, Jericho, WHY?!? THE Mike Adamle pops up on the tron, and states that this match will have a 10-minute time limit. If the time limit expires without getting a winner, we will have a Triple Threat Match for the WHC at Summerslam.
CM Punk vs JBL vs Chris Jericho (Shitload of Stipulations Match)
Jericho and JBL argue at the start, so Punk just goes after both men.. Of course, he gets his ass kicked. Punk makes a bit of a comeback, and Clotheslines Jericho to the outside. JBL hits a Fallaway Slam on Punk, then follows up with a Neckbreaker for a two count. JBL goes after Jericho on the outside, but Jericho tosses JBL into the steel steps. Jericho takes over, until Punk goes for a Superplex attempt, but gets shoved and is met by a Flying Spinning Elbow by Jericho.
Abdominal Stretch by Jericho (5 minutes left). Punk escapes via an Armdrag, and Knees Jericho, but gets Clothesline from behind by JBL. JBL goes for a pin, but Jericho pulls him off and goes for his own pin. Jericho and JBL slug it out, and Jericho gets a Big Boot for his troubles. Back outside, JBL slams Punk into the announce table, then rolls him back in the ring, where Jericho hits The Lionsault. JBL pulls Chris to the outside, then they start brawling. They are back in the ring, and JBL gets hit by a Springboard Clothesline from Punk. Punk blocks a Bulldog attempt by Jericho, and whips him into the corner. Punk delives Running Knee Strikes to both opponents, then hits the GTS on JBL, but the pin is broken up by Jericho. Powerslam on Jericho for another near fall. Punk slings Jericho into JBL, then gets a roll-up for yet another near fall (What is this, ROH?).
GTS attempt on Jericho, but he rakes the eyes, and locks in The Walls. JBL breaks it up by hitting a Clothesline on Jericho which sends him to the outside. Jericho is back up on the apron, and hits a Jawbreaker on the ropes, but JBL falls right on top of Punk to get the win.. WITH ONE SECOND REMAINING (I'll admit, that was a cool finish).
Winner:John Bradshaw Layfield
COMMERCIAL!!
We are back, and HBK is being interviewed (VIA SATELLITE!!). He says he will be examined a couple of days before Summerslam, and if the doctors tell him to walk away from wrestling, he will do just that.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Matt Striker is in the ring (Probably to get squashed), and he sucks up to Adamle. Kane comes out and we will a squash match.
Kane vs Matt Striker
Kane wins, the end.
Winner:Kane
Post-Match, Kane grabs a mic and says that he is now at peace, for he knows that HE is dead... And apparently that's the end of that angle which led nowhere!
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and we get the SD rebound, highlighting the AWESOME promo between Edge and Foley.
Backstage, John Cena cuts a pretty long promo that puts over Batista, and their match at Summerslam. I have faith in John Cena to deliver at Summerslam. Batista? Not so much.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Adamle is talking to Kelly, and he mentions that he will take the bag from Kane next week, and reveal the contents. ME is up now!
John Cena and Batista vs Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase (Tag Team Title Match)
Batista is in control early, until Rhodes and Dibiase use some HEELISH team work, which leads to Batista missing a charge in the corner on Rhodes. We come back from a break, with Batista tagging Cena in. He hits hits token offense on Rhodes, then hits The 5-Knuckle Shuffle. FU attempt by Cena, but Ted blindly tags himself in, and Dropkicks Cena. Dibiase hits The Million Dollar Fist Drop, AND THAT IDIOT COLE SAYS HE WAS MOCKING CENA'S SHUFFLE! Cody is tagged back in, and he locks in a Sleeper. Cena tries to tag in Batista, but Batista moves away (AND DOESN'T GET BOOED, DESPITE DOING A HEEL MOVE!!).
Dibiase is in and he locks in a Sleeperhold. Cena counters into his own Sleeper, but Cody breaks it up. Cena tags in (Slaps in?) Batista, who cleans house, hits a Batista Bomb on Dibiase, and this one is over!
Winners:Batista and John Cena
Post-Match, both Cena and Batista hold up the belts to see who gets the biggest pop as I get pissed for the unecessary title change.
End show.
Match of The Night:JBL-Jericho vs CM Punk
Trash of The Night:Kane vs Matt Striker
Overall Thoughts:This show was pretty good.. Until that dumb title change in the Main Event. Cena and Batista are far and away the most over guys on the RAW roster, they don't need the tag titles, and they need ANY belt to hype up their Summerslam Match. It was stupid, it was unecessary, and it did a terrible job of putting an end to the momentum that Rhodes and Dibiase were slowly, but surely gaining.
As for the rest of the show, I thought it was weird to build up Kofi vs Burchill, only to have the title match go 4 minutes (And for it to be a glorified squash). The Women's title match was also short, but it was pretty good. We also got new challengers for the Women's and IC title, even if they haven't done anything to deserve a title shot.
The Number one contenders match was damn good (Despite the numerous stipulations), and it had a nice finish to boot. I already metioned how I felt about the main event, so I won't bother repeating it.
Remember to read Kaedon's NSZ (Even though he done one in a while) and his SD review. Also, be sure to read my review for Respect is Earned II, featuring a brand new ratings system.
That's it for me. Until next week, I am out!
We start the show with the NEW General Manager, Mike Adamle. He compares himself to Ronald Reagan and as soon as he does, I tune him out until JBL comes out. Bradshaw talks some smack, and tells Mike that he should get a title shot at Summerslam. Jericho follows suit (Oddly enough, wearing a suit), and demands that HE get a title shot at SS.
Adamle makes a handicap match with JBL and Jericho teaming up to face Punk. If either JBL or Jericho pin Punk, he (The person who pinned CM) will get a title shot at SS. HOWEVER, if Punk pins either JBL or Jericho, no one gets a title shot. (Fun Fact:On Sunday, WWE started selling SS shirts and it was advertising JBL vs Punk as one of the matches!)
COMMERCIAL!!!
Kofi Kingston vs Paul Burchill (Intercontinental Title Match)
Burchill takes over early with his power, until Kofi whips Paul into the corner and hits the Leaping Turnbuckle Punches. Katie distracts Kofi on the apron, which allows brother Paul to once again, take over. Burchill gets a 2 count after a Neckbreaker, then continues to pummel Kofi until he gets a roll-up for a near fall. Burchill locks in an ORTONLOCK, but Kofi escapes and hits a Dropkick followed by a Flying Forearm. Kingston hits a Springboard Crossbody, the Boop Boop Legdrop, and The Trouble in Paradise for the win.
Winner:Kofi Kingston
Post-Match, Paul tries to cheap-shot Kofi, but he makes his own save. Mickie James runs down to the ring, and we will a Women's title match.. NEXT!
COMMERCIAL!!
Mickie James vs Katie Lea Burchill (Women's Title Match)
Match is already in progress. Mickie is dominating and she hits a Snapmare, followed by a Low-Dropkick. Katie rolls out of the ring, but Mickie hits a Thesz Press from the apron. We're back in the ring, and Katie locks in a Bow and Arrow on James. Mickie escapes, and hits the Head-Scissors from the corner, followed by a Neckbreaker for a two count. Katie comes back and hits a Northern Lights Suplex, for a near fall. Mickie is back up, she hits the Screaming DDT, and this one is OVER!!
Winner:Mickie James
Post-Match, Beth Phoenix comes out and just demolishes Mickie James. Santino appears on the ramp and claps for Beth. Beth grabs Santino's ass, so Santino grabs Beth's ass.
COMMERCIAL!!!
WWE pimps WWE 24/7 by showing old footage of Austin hittng Slaughter with a Stunner. Backstage, Santino and Beth both ask Adamle for a title match at Summerslam (Santino wants the IC title, Beth the Women's title). Adamle makes a Mixed Tag Match for SS (Beth-Santino vs Mickie-Kofi) with both titles on the life.. WORD LIFE, THIS MATCH IS BASIC RUSSONOMICS.
EPIC John Cena video package to hype up Summerslam. Backstage (Again), Grisham interviews Batista, who once again tells Cena to stay out of his way tonight.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We come back and Layla is dancing in the ring. We get footage from earlier in the day, which showed Layla rejecting Jamie Noble, because she doesn't associate herself with losers. Noble threatens her by saying someone else will be eating her Pecan Waffle from Wafflehouse.
William Regal interrupts, and reintroduces himself to the fans. He reminds us that he is OUR King, and he earned it by beating a midget (And beating Hornswoggle, BURN!!!). Jamie Noble comes out and we have a BRAWL. Referees come out and pull both men apart.
Backstage, CM Punk walks to the ring.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and we learn that Lance Cade suffered a broken nose over the weekend. The competitors make their way to the ring and HOLY CRAP, Jericho is wearing short trunks.. WHY, Jericho, WHY?!? THE Mike Adamle pops up on the tron, and states that this match will have a 10-minute time limit. If the time limit expires without getting a winner, we will have a Triple Threat Match for the WHC at Summerslam.
CM Punk vs JBL vs Chris Jericho (Shitload of Stipulations Match)
Jericho and JBL argue at the start, so Punk just goes after both men.. Of course, he gets his ass kicked. Punk makes a bit of a comeback, and Clotheslines Jericho to the outside. JBL hits a Fallaway Slam on Punk, then follows up with a Neckbreaker for a two count. JBL goes after Jericho on the outside, but Jericho tosses JBL into the steel steps. Jericho takes over, until Punk goes for a Superplex attempt, but gets shoved and is met by a Flying Spinning Elbow by Jericho.
Abdominal Stretch by Jericho (5 minutes left). Punk escapes via an Armdrag, and Knees Jericho, but gets Clothesline from behind by JBL. JBL goes for a pin, but Jericho pulls him off and goes for his own pin. Jericho and JBL slug it out, and Jericho gets a Big Boot for his troubles. Back outside, JBL slams Punk into the announce table, then rolls him back in the ring, where Jericho hits The Lionsault. JBL pulls Chris to the outside, then they start brawling. They are back in the ring, and JBL gets hit by a Springboard Clothesline from Punk. Punk blocks a Bulldog attempt by Jericho, and whips him into the corner. Punk delives Running Knee Strikes to both opponents, then hits the GTS on JBL, but the pin is broken up by Jericho. Powerslam on Jericho for another near fall. Punk slings Jericho into JBL, then gets a roll-up for yet another near fall (What is this, ROH?).
GTS attempt on Jericho, but he rakes the eyes, and locks in The Walls. JBL breaks it up by hitting a Clothesline on Jericho which sends him to the outside. Jericho is back up on the apron, and hits a Jawbreaker on the ropes, but JBL falls right on top of Punk to get the win.. WITH ONE SECOND REMAINING (I'll admit, that was a cool finish).
Winner:John Bradshaw Layfield
COMMERCIAL!!
We are back, and HBK is being interviewed (VIA SATELLITE!!). He says he will be examined a couple of days before Summerslam, and if the doctors tell him to walk away from wrestling, he will do just that.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Matt Striker is in the ring (Probably to get squashed), and he sucks up to Adamle. Kane comes out and we will a squash match.
Kane vs Matt Striker
Kane wins, the end.
Winner:Kane
Post-Match, Kane grabs a mic and says that he is now at peace, for he knows that HE is dead... And apparently that's the end of that angle which led nowhere!
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and we get the SD rebound, highlighting the AWESOME promo between Edge and Foley.
Backstage, John Cena cuts a pretty long promo that puts over Batista, and their match at Summerslam. I have faith in John Cena to deliver at Summerslam. Batista? Not so much.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Adamle is talking to Kelly, and he mentions that he will take the bag from Kane next week, and reveal the contents. ME is up now!
John Cena and Batista vs Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase (Tag Team Title Match)
Batista is in control early, until Rhodes and Dibiase use some HEELISH team work, which leads to Batista missing a charge in the corner on Rhodes. We come back from a break, with Batista tagging Cena in. He hits hits token offense on Rhodes, then hits The 5-Knuckle Shuffle. FU attempt by Cena, but Ted blindly tags himself in, and Dropkicks Cena. Dibiase hits The Million Dollar Fist Drop, AND THAT IDIOT COLE SAYS HE WAS MOCKING CENA'S SHUFFLE! Cody is tagged back in, and he locks in a Sleeper. Cena tries to tag in Batista, but Batista moves away (AND DOESN'T GET BOOED, DESPITE DOING A HEEL MOVE!!).
Dibiase is in and he locks in a Sleeperhold. Cena counters into his own Sleeper, but Cody breaks it up. Cena tags in (Slaps in?) Batista, who cleans house, hits a Batista Bomb on Dibiase, and this one is over!
Winners:Batista and John Cena
Post-Match, both Cena and Batista hold up the belts to see who gets the biggest pop as I get pissed for the unecessary title change.
End show.
Match of The Night:JBL-Jericho vs CM Punk
Trash of The Night:Kane vs Matt Striker
Overall Thoughts:This show was pretty good.. Until that dumb title change in the Main Event. Cena and Batista are far and away the most over guys on the RAW roster, they don't need the tag titles, and they need ANY belt to hype up their Summerslam Match. It was stupid, it was unecessary, and it did a terrible job of putting an end to the momentum that Rhodes and Dibiase were slowly, but surely gaining.
As for the rest of the show, I thought it was weird to build up Kofi vs Burchill, only to have the title match go 4 minutes (And for it to be a glorified squash). The Women's title match was also short, but it was pretty good. We also got new challengers for the Women's and IC title, even if they haven't done anything to deserve a title shot.
The Number one contenders match was damn good (Despite the numerous stipulations), and it had a nice finish to boot. I already metioned how I felt about the main event, so I won't bother repeating it.
Remember to read Kaedon's NSZ (Even though he done one in a while) and his SD review. Also, be sure to read my review for Respect is Earned II, featuring a brand new ratings system.
That's it for me. Until next week, I am out!
