Forgive the lateness but I had a wedding to go to this weekend and this was originally done as a docx and I dont have the right shit in my other computer to convert. ANnway, better late than never!
A short taped statement from Edge starts off SD. He says tonight he will show highlights of the career of The Undertaker. Why? Because tonight will be Undertaker’s last SD in the WWE as he guests on “The Cutting Edgeâ€.
The Animal is the first out the gate looking like he’s in the mob with his pinstriped suit. And, why the fuck is he in sunglasses? The eyes are one of the only ways we can see what’s going on in the heads of these guys. Oh yeah, the promo. Batista says he is gonna hurt HBK and then after ONS, the winner of the TLC match will have to deal with him. Vickie interrupts him and says that Batista might not even be there to get a WHC match because of the draft. Man does Vickie have some heat. God damn. She teases Batista about losing to HBK and then tries to demand along the lines of him not making SD look bad (and her by proxy) something but gets shut up by big Dave. He tells her that this feud isn’t about her, SD, Raw, ECW, its about him and Shawn. Hawkins and Ryder tell Batista to shut the fuck up and Batista says “come shut me upâ€. They try to but Vickie stops them. She then makes a tag match, Batista and ??? vs. Hawkins and Ryder. Nice little segment.
We get a recap of Taker’s debut in 1990 @ The Survivor Series, one of the best PPVs I might add.
Matt Hardy vs. Elijah Burke
Shit yeah, this is what I am talking about. EB vs. MH. Elijah does a nice little pose on the steps I haven’t noticed before, I likey. Arm wrench into a hammerlock but Burke takes a cheap shot that Matt returns and starts throwing his head into the turnbuckle. Nice clothesline from Matt and we get a one count. They throw hands until Elijah hits a 4-up. Pound and ground turns into a chinlock. Matt fights out it but catches a stray forearm. The two duke it out and Burke snaps Hardy’s neck on the top rope. Million Dollar Fist from the top and Burke is back in control. Side suplex but Burke holds on. Matt hits a SECOND one and that breaks the hold. Side Russian leg sweep and the OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH elbow gets a 2. A side effect gets a 2. Matt goes for the clothesline/bulldog but gets countered, that counter is countered into a Twist of Fate for the 1, 2, 3. Great match.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: ***
MVP has an interview but its interrupted by Jamie Noble who tries to give him some advice. MVP takes offense and a gauntlet is thrown down.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Finlay
Chuck comes out looking like Slash minus the cigarette. Ha Foley calls it too. Anyways, Chuck comes out firing on ALL pistons hitting some stiff shots and a nice belly to belly. Palumbo charges Finlay in the corner and misses giving the Green Guy the advantage. He locks in an armbar but action spills outside. Back in the ring and Chuck hits a stiff fucking kick and takes over. A classic shoulderbreaker gets a 2 count on Finlay. Palumbo gets overzealous again and Finlay takes advantage. On the outside again, Chuck gets pissed and grabs a chain off of his bike and just cold cocks Finlay. Shit. And to no ones surprise, Chucky is DQd.
Winner: Finlay (via DQ)
Match Rating: **
CM Punk vs. John Morrison
You know, if there has to be guys who have a lot of rematches, these are two of the guys I want to have them. I wasn’t a fan of their matches to begin with, but they got SO MUCH better as they started to feel each other out. The Miz gets tossed in the outset, good, fuck him. Punk dominates early with good use of his limbs. Morrison gets into it with a nice kick but Punk just cant be kept down. Morrison holds the control for about a hot second more but that’s it as CM Punk pulls him into the GTS from an odd position (the same one Cena did it from a long time ago so don’t go sucking Punk’s cock and shitting all over Cena’s “lack of skillsâ€) FTW.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Rating: **1/2
Batista vs. Hawkins/Ryder
Batista says he doesn’t need a partner, and he’s gonna go it alone. Oh, wait, Batista said he doesn’t NEED one, but he does have one, as The Big Show comes out. Wow, well played sir! Haha. Vickie is carted to the back by Show and we’re gonna have ourselves a good old fashioned ass kicking. Batista starts off strong against Hawkins just running through him. He tries Big Show’s Shhhhhhhhhhhh Slap but fails. Show comes in and says let me SHOW (haha, get it?) how its done and WHAM, skillet slap! Ryder tags in and gets completely dominated by Show. Batista tags back in and gets chased out. Batista follows and misses a beautiful blind tag and the HR take over for about 10 seconds till Batista says “Uh NOâ€. Spinebuster into a Batista Bomb and Chokeslam.
Winners: Batista and The Big Show
Match Rating: **1/2
Cherry is getting looked at in the back by the doctor when Maryse comes in and says she is injured too. She said her ankle got hurt last week, when she kicked Cherry in the face. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. Great stuff! What a cunt, but still funny as hell.
MVP vs. Jamie Noble
MVP comes out swinging. No pyro, just a small pose and that’s it. MVP starts out aggressively but Noble hits a knee high dropkick and then throws down with an Indian Death Lock. Back and forth action till MVP goes for his big boot and Noble hits yet ANOTHER knee dropkick. MVP retreats to a corner but is followed by Noble who hits, what I believe to be, a flipping Senton. Noble goes for the win but cant put MVP away. Jamie picks up MVP and gets hung on the top rope for his trouble. MVP senses this could be his shot and WHAM Stone Cold Stunner. EH EH, sorry channeled someone else there. MVP hits his big boot and gets the win.
Winner: MVP
Match Rating: **3/4
Awwww FUCKING A. This was going to be a Smackdown where there was no match under a solid 2 stars until….
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Shannon Moore
Squash, but a few notes. Kozy knows how to use his head, literally. Also, this was the best match he’s had by far. But still not more than a star. On a bad note, he doesn’t listen to the fucking crowd. The crowd was chanting USA and he totally no sold it. Now it might have been piped in but I don’t know.
Winner: Vlad The Impailer
Match Rating: *
Maryse vs. Michelle McCool
Michelle dominates from the outset till the greeseballs get involved. Maryse starts working over McCools leg and even locks in a half crab but Cherry comes out and distracts Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass allowing Michelle to lock in the leg lock for the win. Actually that was pretty entertaining.
Winner: Michelle McCool
Match Rating: **
Taker on the Cutting Edge. Ok, the segment was what you’d expect, however who ever the fuck thought of that pimp ass trailer in the style of Indiana Jones should be given a fucking RAISE. That was seriously some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while. The thing that surprised me in the segment was how beat down Taker was getting. But that all changed when he was stuffed in the casket and then seconds later after the lights go, he is atop the ladder with Edge. He is fast for an old man!
Anyway, that’s it for the SD Review. This was a great way to lead into the PPV. I would have liked to see HBK pop up, but other than that, good solid show here.
A short taped statement from Edge starts off SD. He says tonight he will show highlights of the career of The Undertaker. Why? Because tonight will be Undertaker’s last SD in the WWE as he guests on “The Cutting Edgeâ€.
The Animal is the first out the gate looking like he’s in the mob with his pinstriped suit. And, why the fuck is he in sunglasses? The eyes are one of the only ways we can see what’s going on in the heads of these guys. Oh yeah, the promo. Batista says he is gonna hurt HBK and then after ONS, the winner of the TLC match will have to deal with him. Vickie interrupts him and says that Batista might not even be there to get a WHC match because of the draft. Man does Vickie have some heat. God damn. She teases Batista about losing to HBK and then tries to demand along the lines of him not making SD look bad (and her by proxy) something but gets shut up by big Dave. He tells her that this feud isn’t about her, SD, Raw, ECW, its about him and Shawn. Hawkins and Ryder tell Batista to shut the fuck up and Batista says “come shut me upâ€. They try to but Vickie stops them. She then makes a tag match, Batista and ??? vs. Hawkins and Ryder. Nice little segment.
We get a recap of Taker’s debut in 1990 @ The Survivor Series, one of the best PPVs I might add.
Matt Hardy vs. Elijah Burke
Shit yeah, this is what I am talking about. EB vs. MH. Elijah does a nice little pose on the steps I haven’t noticed before, I likey. Arm wrench into a hammerlock but Burke takes a cheap shot that Matt returns and starts throwing his head into the turnbuckle. Nice clothesline from Matt and we get a one count. They throw hands until Elijah hits a 4-up. Pound and ground turns into a chinlock. Matt fights out it but catches a stray forearm. The two duke it out and Burke snaps Hardy’s neck on the top rope. Million Dollar Fist from the top and Burke is back in control. Side suplex but Burke holds on. Matt hits a SECOND one and that breaks the hold. Side Russian leg sweep and the OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH elbow gets a 2. A side effect gets a 2. Matt goes for the clothesline/bulldog but gets countered, that counter is countered into a Twist of Fate for the 1, 2, 3. Great match.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: ***
MVP has an interview but its interrupted by Jamie Noble who tries to give him some advice. MVP takes offense and a gauntlet is thrown down.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Finlay
Chuck comes out looking like Slash minus the cigarette. Ha Foley calls it too. Anyways, Chuck comes out firing on ALL pistons hitting some stiff shots and a nice belly to belly. Palumbo charges Finlay in the corner and misses giving the Green Guy the advantage. He locks in an armbar but action spills outside. Back in the ring and Chuck hits a stiff fucking kick and takes over. A classic shoulderbreaker gets a 2 count on Finlay. Palumbo gets overzealous again and Finlay takes advantage. On the outside again, Chuck gets pissed and grabs a chain off of his bike and just cold cocks Finlay. Shit. And to no ones surprise, Chucky is DQd.
Winner: Finlay (via DQ)
Match Rating: **
CM Punk vs. John Morrison
You know, if there has to be guys who have a lot of rematches, these are two of the guys I want to have them. I wasn’t a fan of their matches to begin with, but they got SO MUCH better as they started to feel each other out. The Miz gets tossed in the outset, good, fuck him. Punk dominates early with good use of his limbs. Morrison gets into it with a nice kick but Punk just cant be kept down. Morrison holds the control for about a hot second more but that’s it as CM Punk pulls him into the GTS from an odd position (the same one Cena did it from a long time ago so don’t go sucking Punk’s cock and shitting all over Cena’s “lack of skillsâ€) FTW.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Rating: **1/2
Batista vs. Hawkins/Ryder
Batista says he doesn’t need a partner, and he’s gonna go it alone. Oh, wait, Batista said he doesn’t NEED one, but he does have one, as The Big Show comes out. Wow, well played sir! Haha. Vickie is carted to the back by Show and we’re gonna have ourselves a good old fashioned ass kicking. Batista starts off strong against Hawkins just running through him. He tries Big Show’s Shhhhhhhhhhhh Slap but fails. Show comes in and says let me SHOW (haha, get it?) how its done and WHAM, skillet slap! Ryder tags in and gets completely dominated by Show. Batista tags back in and gets chased out. Batista follows and misses a beautiful blind tag and the HR take over for about 10 seconds till Batista says “Uh NOâ€. Spinebuster into a Batista Bomb and Chokeslam.
Winners: Batista and The Big Show
Match Rating: **1/2
Cherry is getting looked at in the back by the doctor when Maryse comes in and says she is injured too. She said her ankle got hurt last week, when she kicked Cherry in the face. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. Great stuff! What a cunt, but still funny as hell.
MVP vs. Jamie Noble
MVP comes out swinging. No pyro, just a small pose and that’s it. MVP starts out aggressively but Noble hits a knee high dropkick and then throws down with an Indian Death Lock. Back and forth action till MVP goes for his big boot and Noble hits yet ANOTHER knee dropkick. MVP retreats to a corner but is followed by Noble who hits, what I believe to be, a flipping Senton. Noble goes for the win but cant put MVP away. Jamie picks up MVP and gets hung on the top rope for his trouble. MVP senses this could be his shot and WHAM Stone Cold Stunner. EH EH, sorry channeled someone else there. MVP hits his big boot and gets the win.
Winner: MVP
Match Rating: **3/4
Awwww FUCKING A. This was going to be a Smackdown where there was no match under a solid 2 stars until….
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Shannon Moore
Squash, but a few notes. Kozy knows how to use his head, literally. Also, this was the best match he’s had by far. But still not more than a star. On a bad note, he doesn’t listen to the fucking crowd. The crowd was chanting USA and he totally no sold it. Now it might have been piped in but I don’t know.
Winner: Vlad The Impailer
Match Rating: *
Maryse vs. Michelle McCool
Michelle dominates from the outset till the greeseballs get involved. Maryse starts working over McCools leg and even locks in a half crab but Cherry comes out and distracts Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass allowing Michelle to lock in the leg lock for the win. Actually that was pretty entertaining.
Winner: Michelle McCool
Match Rating: **
Taker on the Cutting Edge. Ok, the segment was what you’d expect, however who ever the fuck thought of that pimp ass trailer in the style of Indiana Jones should be given a fucking RAISE. That was seriously some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while. The thing that surprised me in the segment was how beat down Taker was getting. But that all changed when he was stuffed in the casket and then seconds later after the lights go, he is atop the ladder with Edge. He is fast for an old man!
Anyway, that’s it for the SD Review. This was a great way to lead into the PPV. I would have liked to see HBK pop up, but other than that, good solid show here.