Smackdown starts off, surprise surprise, with the new WWE Champion and about 40 security guys around the ring. Edge comes out and he and Vickie celebrate. The ceremony is runied when first psycho Jeff comes out, then HHH, and finally Vladimir Kozlov. Vickie says she anticipated this and says tonight, all three of them will be fighting for the right to face Edge at Armageddon in a "Beat The Clock Challenge". And the first match, is NEXT!!
Jeff Hardy vs. The
Jeff starts out like a house of fire, showing he wants to win this thing asap. The plays the role of spoiler and keeps trying to run. Jeff finally takes control but cant seal the deal. After a commercial break, The is in firm control and the clock is ticking away. Jeff tries to get back into it, but The keeps him grounded. Hardy eventually makes his way back into it and gets the win at 12:13.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: ***
Comments: This was, as my people say, FO SHO a great opening match.
Matt Hardy says he is going to fuck Edge and Vickie over by not letting Vlad The Impailer win tonight.
The Bella Twins and Michelle McCool vs. Natalya, Victoria, and Maryse
I am getting sick to death of this. Every other fucking show its a tag because the WWE are too god damn lazy to build a proper womens division. And its a shame because pretty much all of them are doing really good and are busting their ass, and they are just getting shit on. Oh, theres a match. Its an exhibition of what everyone can do. At the end, one of the Bellas nails Michelle and costs them the match. After, Michelle flips out on the twins. Maria comes in to try and make peace but gets shoved by Michelle. HEEL TURN!!!
Winners: Natalya, Victoria, and Maryse
Match Rating: **
Comments: HEEL TURN!!!
We see the great D-Xmas promo from Monday and I assume Tuesday. Funny shit tbh.
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Hardy
Before the match, The HurriPop tells us that next week is the return of Helms. Woo woo! Surprisingly, Matt takes control at the first. And what does he grab, the great old standby, a headlock. And he didnt let go after 20 seconds because he was afraid of getting a "boooooooooring" chant, he held onto it for a few minutes. Vlad, of course, powers him off eventually. But Matt said he's gonna shove it up Edge and Vickies collective asses, and god damn it he's going to. Matt plays cat and mouse with the Siberian Tiger. Kozlov sees the clock and flips out. Because he does this he breaks one of the infallible rules in wrestling, never follow a guy into the ring. Hardy jumps on him and hammers down with blows. Vladimir, however, catches one of them and starts in with the brutal offense which includes my personal favorite, the triple Al Snow headbutts. With Hardy in the corner, Vlad charges and gets kicked in the face and we go to....COMMERCIAL!!
The clock is counting down when we return and its at 3:38. Vladimir is beating the dog out of Matt Hardy with suplexes, fall away slams, and even a botched SUPER fall away slam. If there is one thing Matt Hardy can do, its take an ass kicking. With :54 left on the clock, Matt hits a side effect out of nowhere. The clock is ticking. Matt pushes Vlad The Impailer out of the ring. He comes back in and almost gets hit with a Twist Of Fate but he blocks it and shoves Matt out of the ring. The clock is ticking. Vlad tries to get him but Matt avoids him and the time runs out.
Winner: Matt Hardy (technically)
Match Rating: **3/4
Comments: Good match TBH
Jesse & Festus vs. MnM2k8
This was pretty much the same match as last week. The only difference was at the end, Jesse saw them going to try and use the bell to control Festus and he headed it off. But it was stopped by the Miz who stole the bell back from Jesse. The ref called for a DQ. But the real great shit happened after the match. The Miz got in the face of Festus and Morrison rang the bell and then quickly rang it again. Miz didnt think that was too funny so HE rang it on Morrison and then rang it again. The two then had some fun where Morrison rang the bell and Miz did a mock "transformation" as Festus did it. Jesse tried to run in and help gets cut down. Miz and Morrison laugh. Miz drops the bell hammer on the bell and Festus comes to life and kicks some ass. MnM run away after taking a few scrapes.
Winners: Jesse & Festus
Match/Segment Rating: *** (for being funny as hell)
Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH
So I am sure, at this point, HHH is going to win. H goes for the pedigree a few times to start off the match and Shelton is not about to have that happen. Benjmain goes to the outside and The Game follows. Back in the ring, H breaks the same rule that Kozlov does but the result is the same, he overpowers the smaller opponent. H goes for ANOTHER pedigree but Goldy hits a backdrop which HHH turns into a sunset flip for a 2. Triple H locks on a crossface (Chris Benoit'd) for almost 2 minutes. Benji gets to the apron but is suplexed back in by HHH. Shelton counters into a neckbreaker and we go to commercial.
With 5 and a half minutes left, HHH tries to pick up the pace, but Shelton slows him down. Haitch with the Harley Race knee (Bah Gawd) and Shelton rolls outside. HHH hucks him back in and Benjamin takes another powder. Trips is pissed and throws him face first into the post. Benjamin gets back inside the ring and then charges H as he enters but gets hit with a spinebuster (Bah Gawd). Shelton blocks another Pedigree and tries to get out agian, but HHH catches him. Goldy is hanging on for dear life to the ropes. Too bad he cant do that during the Royal Rumble. Triple H finally pulls him off and Benjamin careens into the ref. REF BUMP! REF BUMP!!! HHH nails the pedigree but there is no ref. Slowly....slowly....the....ref....make.....his.....way.....as the clock runs 1..........2.............3 at the EXACT SECOND the time expries. And guess what, we have Lex Luger and Bret Hart all over again. (Royal Rumble'd)
Winner: HHH
Match Rating: ***
Comments: Fuck that ending.
Good SD this week. I am still laughing at what The Miz/Morrison did to Festus and pretty much every match was solid or better. Next week its The Undertaker vs. The Big Show in a STEEL CAGE. Expect someone to juice!!!! Until then, read SPs Raw Review and my No Smark Zone!!!
Jeff Hardy vs. The
Jeff starts out like a house of fire, showing he wants to win this thing asap. The plays the role of spoiler and keeps trying to run. Jeff finally takes control but cant seal the deal. After a commercial break, The is in firm control and the clock is ticking away. Jeff tries to get back into it, but The keeps him grounded. Hardy eventually makes his way back into it and gets the win at 12:13.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: ***
Comments: This was, as my people say, FO SHO a great opening match.
Matt Hardy says he is going to fuck Edge and Vickie over by not letting Vlad The Impailer win tonight.
The Bella Twins and Michelle McCool vs. Natalya, Victoria, and Maryse
I am getting sick to death of this. Every other fucking show its a tag because the WWE are too god damn lazy to build a proper womens division. And its a shame because pretty much all of them are doing really good and are busting their ass, and they are just getting shit on. Oh, theres a match. Its an exhibition of what everyone can do. At the end, one of the Bellas nails Michelle and costs them the match. After, Michelle flips out on the twins. Maria comes in to try and make peace but gets shoved by Michelle. HEEL TURN!!!
Winners: Natalya, Victoria, and Maryse
Match Rating: **
Comments: HEEL TURN!!!
We see the great D-Xmas promo from Monday and I assume Tuesday. Funny shit tbh.
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Hardy
Before the match, The HurriPop tells us that next week is the return of Helms. Woo woo! Surprisingly, Matt takes control at the first. And what does he grab, the great old standby, a headlock. And he didnt let go after 20 seconds because he was afraid of getting a "boooooooooring" chant, he held onto it for a few minutes. Vlad, of course, powers him off eventually. But Matt said he's gonna shove it up Edge and Vickies collective asses, and god damn it he's going to. Matt plays cat and mouse with the Siberian Tiger. Kozlov sees the clock and flips out. Because he does this he breaks one of the infallible rules in wrestling, never follow a guy into the ring. Hardy jumps on him and hammers down with blows. Vladimir, however, catches one of them and starts in with the brutal offense which includes my personal favorite, the triple Al Snow headbutts. With Hardy in the corner, Vlad charges and gets kicked in the face and we go to....COMMERCIAL!!
The clock is counting down when we return and its at 3:38. Vladimir is beating the dog out of Matt Hardy with suplexes, fall away slams, and even a botched SUPER fall away slam. If there is one thing Matt Hardy can do, its take an ass kicking. With :54 left on the clock, Matt hits a side effect out of nowhere. The clock is ticking. Matt pushes Vlad The Impailer out of the ring. He comes back in and almost gets hit with a Twist Of Fate but he blocks it and shoves Matt out of the ring. The clock is ticking. Vlad tries to get him but Matt avoids him and the time runs out.
Winner: Matt Hardy (technically)
Match Rating: **3/4
Comments: Good match TBH
Jesse & Festus vs. MnM2k8
This was pretty much the same match as last week. The only difference was at the end, Jesse saw them going to try and use the bell to control Festus and he headed it off. But it was stopped by the Miz who stole the bell back from Jesse. The ref called for a DQ. But the real great shit happened after the match. The Miz got in the face of Festus and Morrison rang the bell and then quickly rang it again. Miz didnt think that was too funny so HE rang it on Morrison and then rang it again. The two then had some fun where Morrison rang the bell and Miz did a mock "transformation" as Festus did it. Jesse tried to run in and help gets cut down. Miz and Morrison laugh. Miz drops the bell hammer on the bell and Festus comes to life and kicks some ass. MnM run away after taking a few scrapes.
Winners: Jesse & Festus
Match/Segment Rating: *** (for being funny as hell)
Shelton Benjamin vs. HHH
So I am sure, at this point, HHH is going to win. H goes for the pedigree a few times to start off the match and Shelton is not about to have that happen. Benjmain goes to the outside and The Game follows. Back in the ring, H breaks the same rule that Kozlov does but the result is the same, he overpowers the smaller opponent. H goes for ANOTHER pedigree but Goldy hits a backdrop which HHH turns into a sunset flip for a 2. Triple H locks on a crossface (Chris Benoit'd) for almost 2 minutes. Benji gets to the apron but is suplexed back in by HHH. Shelton counters into a neckbreaker and we go to commercial.
With 5 and a half minutes left, HHH tries to pick up the pace, but Shelton slows him down. Haitch with the Harley Race knee (Bah Gawd) and Shelton rolls outside. HHH hucks him back in and Benjamin takes another powder. Trips is pissed and throws him face first into the post. Benjamin gets back inside the ring and then charges H as he enters but gets hit with a spinebuster (Bah Gawd). Shelton blocks another Pedigree and tries to get out agian, but HHH catches him. Goldy is hanging on for dear life to the ropes. Too bad he cant do that during the Royal Rumble. Triple H finally pulls him off and Benjamin careens into the ref. REF BUMP! REF BUMP!!! HHH nails the pedigree but there is no ref. Slowly....slowly....the....ref....make.....his.....way.....as the clock runs 1..........2.............3 at the EXACT SECOND the time expries. And guess what, we have Lex Luger and Bret Hart all over again. (Royal Rumble'd)
Winner: HHH
Match Rating: ***
Comments: Fuck that ending.
Good SD this week. I am still laughing at what The Miz/Morrison did to Festus and pretty much every match was solid or better. Next week its The Undertaker vs. The Big Show in a STEEL CAGE. Expect someone to juice!!!! Until then, read SPs Raw Review and my No Smark Zone!!!
