SMACKDOWN TIME BAYBAY
This time I'm doing it differently and watching on the PC and just posting thoughts as we go along instead of just going segment by segment and....
Whoa, in the time it took that I already have a thought during the recap video, and damn I can't believe Vince is taking bumps at 70 years old, man Reigns just floored that dude! More Aggressive Rom-YAY BOUNCING STEPHANIE! Bounce, bounce, bounce, happy New Year! This is the kind of insight you were missing by not doing these this way. Haha I wonder if any of these indy guys playing the cops we can recognize, y'all know Gulak, wait there's black people on the indies? When did this start? My Tennessean roots will not allow this, dammit! Angry Vince ftw, and the cops secretly arrested him for thinking "tater tots" was actually funny. Grand Theft Good TV. That officer was a pussy, and wow Renee is fast on the scene... :gusta: "Seems like Vince McMahon's temper got the best of him... But check out this one! It's John Cena vs Alberto Del Rio!" Michael Cole, doing his best CNN announcer impersonator. All you non-Americans oughta enjoy your news! In your main event, cenawinsLOL jobs to LOLDQ.
Lemme get this straight: Tag team hierarchy entering 2016: New Day (c) <<<< Lucha Dragons < Usos <<<< Mafia <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Roman Reigns
How is Vince so good of a character and so awful as a company owner? Bwahahahahahahaha happy new year... and happy birthday to you too, douchebag! Speaking of 2016, the graphics guy STILL has Cena in the Smackdown open and omg I've already typed these many paragraphs and am just now in the opening video. PYRO AND BALLYHOO AND GENERIC ROCK WOO. Tonight, in the EXPLOSIVE main event, it's everything I hate about WWE! :yay: The odds of me watching Ambrose and Reigns vs Sheamus and Owens are about as high as a Raven winning MVP this year. So lets get on with it, bring out Roman and Sheamus to have the exact same damn promo they've had for the last 3 Non-Super-Smackdowns (and a final segment for TLC) and OH THANK GOD NEW DAY I LOVE THIS SHOW ALREADY. They love sports references, Washington DC is like the easiest target right now. Hey, you have the WOAT playoff team in Big 10 country. Sorry, in a sports mood. LOL SIN CARA SUCKS. Seriously that mask is more cursed than the IC Title. That better? Holy shit Kofi has a birthday hat with a unicorn horn on it! TAKE MY MONEY. "Our first resolution is nobodyyyyyyy! Get it? It's like... nothing, but nobody is the thing that we say!" Hahahahaha! Must have spent days practicing that wriggle to keep that Big E Booty Sweat off their stylish blue uniforms. Is it just me or is this year the best for the Slammies? Actually making angles out of them, and yes the New Years couldn't get fucked more than they did that night if they ran threw Las Vegas with suits made of hundred dollar bills. "All the fans need glasses and hearing aids" PREACH BROTHER! "You need to write down our greatness!" PREACH BROTHER! "Whenever you wake up you should have a spring in your booty!" PRE... Actually, I'll pass on that. Sin Cara should always just wear a full body cast. He can be the Squidward of the WWE. Wait what? The Booty Dragons with three working arms in a handicap match against the New Day? Awesome, by WWE math that means there's a 100% chance of Kalisto winning. Great strategy! Oh here's the Dudleys who haven't won a match in forever, that lowers your odds to about 33%. Stupid Dudleys.
D'aww, I can't tell which Ryback is better, charitable, Secret reading, sweet, human Ryback or me munch on soul because me hungry caveman motherfucker Ryback. The worst one is him trying to be both at once. "I'm the master of the feed me more! Don't throw away my book" Pffft. Okay on Hulu this commercial can go fuck itself with a baseball bat and I swear their new plan to promote their "no commercials" is to have only 3 advertisements on Hulu. Okay there's this one guy in the fourth row with a 44 jersey on that's neon green and is the most distracting thing since Catrina. "They spent 2015 swimming upstream and look at 'em now, on top of the pile baby!" #BookerTQuotes alright what is this dude doing he's turned around, is he blowing someone... I miss Bully Ray, that LOSER yell was pretty perfect haha. Haha a Kalisto wazzzup, that's nice... holy shit we're several minutes into this match and we haven't seen a babyface getting isolated, thank goodness! "OH MY that's the same move that injured Sin Cara on Raw!" NO IT'S NOT JERRY DO YOU NOT WATCH... well... can't blame you lol. They rough up Kalisto by lightly tossing him back in the ring and here's the series of stomps and zzzzzzzzzz Hahaha more trombone nonsense please! Try to fight back and get cut off... Well... it works with psychology sometimes. Big E for the Rumble win okay there's the hot tag and I could watch Devon spinebuster dudes all day. Especially when Booker calls them sidewalk slams. Oh that raised splash was pretty nice! Salina Del Sol and the AJ Lee booking of the Blue Day continues from now until forever. Enjoy your Super Smackdown win, boys! That'll be the only TV match you win until you lose the belts! Happy 2016... oh what is this, Xavier getting Dixie'd? Again? HELL NAW!
"We're moving to USA next week! You know what that means?" That you're getting replaced on commentary! Oh I heard! It's a joyous occasion indeed! Damn, next week isn't a SuperSmackdown? But... Cena's on it! That's all you need for a SuperSmackdown! It's... Cena! On Smackdown! It's like seeing Halley's Comet, and just as boring! Oh go suck a cock with your jobber entrances for Goldust that's uncalled for, what did he do to deserve that, spends 30 minutes putting all that makeup on just for you to do that. His makeup kinda looks like a Metroid is stuck to his face. Speaking of entrances though, they're actually going to let Tyler get his on? Whoa. Anything can happen. "Goldust debuted the year Tyler Breeze was born" well that's interesting. Irish-whip into a big kick was a decent spot I guess, Goldust is legit one of the best athletes on the roster at his age but nah, fodder lol. Breeze wins YAY. Oh geez namedropping all the dumb Twitter fodder in 2016, forget this. Y'all enjoy this promo, I'm raiding the fridge.
Oh boy, the Wyatts get to decide where they land in the tag team pecking order later and I'll finish this in a moment my fingers are tired
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