RP Feedback

[Diablo]

Just posted my first RP here. Anyone care to give some feedback?.

Really, really enjoyed your descriptive language and you had a nice body of work. I'd like to see what you can do in a big match scenario. Keep it up.

 

[Diablo]

Yeah well I find RPing for some reason more interesting than TTing, and I wrote my first RP sometimes in August this year and my first TT sometimes in January, so yeah. I think that if I finally catch the wave of free time I can do wonders.

Also.. for the third time..

FEEDBACK ON MY RPS PLEEZ FFS!11!1!1!1

No

Alright, I'll give a constructive review here..

I enjoyed it, I really did. It reminded me of some of my early work, but there are definitely a few areas you can improved on...

1.) Pondering in description- Unless you're in the character's mind saying what he's thinking, pointing out that somebody might be religious if they have lot of paraphernalia in the house isn't really necessary. I do like how you take time to describe color and set the tone, but other things like "whose face we're watching at the moment"--well, yeah, you're describing it or else we wouldn't be watching.

2.) Transitioning-..It's always good to see paragraphs broken up, but if you just say "at one point in the room"..it's very vague. Is he watching the throne? What's he doing as he stops? What kind of tone of voice is he using?

3.) Being too "deep"- I'd say murdering and suicide have been happening far more than just the past few years...Spartans were doing it 3,000 years ago haha.

As someone who's a devout agnostic, it's very easy to see this character as a heel. Reminds me almost of a cult type figure, with influences from Punk, Gangrel, 'Taker and Mordecai. It may have seemed I was harsh, but you made me actually hate the guy so you definitely did something right..and I wasn't trying to be harsh, rather just constructive instead of "hey good promo 6/10"..that's a pet peeve.

 

[Deuce]

I'd like some feedback on my RP too I guess, I haven't RPed in a while so it is the best.

Feedback please?

 

[Deuce]

Bumping this.

Feedback for my RP please?

 

[Andrew]

Can I get feedback on mine?

I'll read yours now Deuce

 

[Andrew]

Deuce - Your RP wasn't too bad, sounded more like a promo to me however.

But I liked it for what you delivered, in the long run you'll improve and get there.

 

[Derrick]

Haha Diablo, well I've done my job pretty damn well if I made you hate Carter and Angel. Angel should be the guy that will keep pissing you off because he keeps telling you what to do, I mean, you'll see what's gonna happen to him in the further process of his character evolution, not gonna spoil anything tho. But yeah, thanks for the feedback. Just so you know, this is maybe my sixth RP in my life, the one with Angel. About Carter, well there's not much to say about him, just that his point is to make you wanna punch him in his face, which I hope he's making you feel like.

 

[Chriss]

Can I get feedback from somebody?

 

[No More Sorrow]

I think I'm gonna try to do better in CWF than in WWI, I like real wrestler RP's much better. Will still RP but I don't know if I can beat the likes of many of you guys ahaha.

Not gonna lie i absolutely suck at this. But yeah, don't give up on it hah.

 

[Doink]

Any feedback for me?

 

[Andrew]

Can i get feedback on mine?

I dig your character Ellis.

 

[Diablo]

Bumping this.

Feedback for my RP please?

Please refrain from posting back to back like this, it's attention seeking and spam. Thanks.

 

[John McHenry]

Please refrain from posting back to back like this, it's attention seeking and spam. Thanks.

Please refrain from acting as a mod when you are... Oh I ok.

But actually I think the reason people are holding off on critquing is because at least a few of us don't know Bully's style so we could end up critiquing someone whose doing better than us than we end up looking like assholes.

 

[Diablo]

Please refrain from acting as a mod when you are... Oh I ok.

But actually I think the reason people are holding off on critquing is because at least a few of us don't know Bully's style so we could end up critiquing someone whose doing better than us than we end up looking like assholes.

I'm the VP of the fed so when Bully isn't around and doesn't comment on something I feel it's my place to do so. He's the owner and everything is obviously up to him, but to post pad and bump the thread for comments on a promo is a bit much. If you want to talk about it further, PM me.

I don't think anyone needs to hold back on critiquing. Everyone's style of RP should be what they feel comfortable with because they'll excel in that capacity. People who try to conform to what Bully, myself or anyone on the staff likes will likely be taking a step back and wondering if they're appeasing enough..but we see the passion and hard work that people put into it so just work within your realm and just do your best to develop a character.

Also, this is the feedback thread so none of us will punish you for giving too little or too much feedback. It helps anyone even if the slightest encouragement is given.

 

[John McHenry]

Ah sorry was just trying to break balls. Hence the "Oh I ok" part.

But I'm not saying that we shouldn't give feedback but that guys may not be...Anxious to do so because some of us don't know how well we're really doing so if we were to jump out there and say hey this sucked this is why and then be the John Morrison of the fed well we'd look even shittier. Personally if anyone wants a critique from me I'm more than willing but I prefer to do them via PM as I tend not to hold back punches and I don't think everyone needs to see what I have to say about someone RP.

So if you want feedback without pulling punches PM me and I'll lay one out for you.