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I can't say how many times I've redrafted this apology over the last 11 years. How many times I've convinced myself it wasn't the right time or that I'd be causing even more damage by giving it. But eleven years ago I made the single most regrettable decision of my life.
I watched a Sandy Hook conspiracy video and reposted it on twitter. I didn't even believe it, but was so horrified at the truth that I was grasping for an alternative fiction to cling to instead. I quickly realized my mistake and took it down, but the damage was done.
By some miracle it seemingly slipped under the media's radar, I was never asked about it so I never spoke of it again, afraid that calling attention to it would have then opposite of the intended effect - it could increase the views of those conspiracy videos, and selfishly, inform even more people I was ignorant, self absorbed, and tone deaf enough to share one in the first place.
I drafted a thousandth apology to include in my last memoir, but my publisher begged me to take it out, saying it would overshadow everything else and do more harm than good. So I convinced myself that apologizing would just reopen the wound for no other reason than me selfishly trying to make myself feel better, that I would hurt those suffering even more and possibly lead more people down the black hole of conspiracy bullshit by it being brought up again just so I could try to shake the label of being a "Sandy Hook truther".
But honestly I deserve to be hated, labeled,detested, resented and worse for it. I deserve to lose out on every opportunity, I should have been canceled, I would have deserved it. I still do. I apologize that this came 11 years too late, but to those affected by the Sandy Hook massacre, from the bottom of my heart and depth of my soul I am so so sorry for the hurt I caused.
I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've endured and words cannot describe how thoroughly remorseful and ashamed I am of myself for contributing to it. I've regretted it every day of my life since and will continue to do so until the day I die. And to anyone else that's fallen down the black hole of bullshit. It doesn't make you edgy, or an independent thinker, you're not doing your due diligence entertaining every possibility by digesting these conspiracies.
They will only make you feel powerless, afraid, miserable and isolated. You're doing nothing but hurting others and yourself. Regardless of how many bridges you've burned over it, stop digging yourself a deeper hole, don't get wrapped up in the sunk cost fallacy, no matter how long you've gone down the wrong road, you should still turn back.
I thought it did happen but she she just avoided those questions. but either way, the fact she was asked a bunch there and then actually made a statement is pretty great.For added context, she tried to do a reddit AMA a few days ago and every question was about this so it ended up not happening
...yea, that's why she put the big excuse in the fifth sentence and then talks a lot about why she didn't apologized, before finally getting to what she should've done in the first place.doesn't really make excuses in the apology either.
I mean I think people should be able to explain their thought process on things - she even admits at multiple occasions she originally got away with it. Personally think it was a good apology and I would not expect any more if I knew Ronda irl. While I think everyone is entitled to feel how they want to feel about people, I think some of expectations over a retweet and delete over 11 years ago is also maybe a bit extreme?...yea, that's why she put the big excuse in the fifth sentence and then talks a lot about why she didn't apologized, before finally getting to what she should've done in the first place.
Dropping an apology from her last book, because the publisher says "it would overshadow everything else", is also kind of a red flag here. If this was supposed to be an apology that doesn't feel half-empty, then she should've put it in and be like "if it does overshadow it, then so be it."
I'm sure she means what she says, don't get me wrong, but no one in their right mind should ignore the slightly bitter taste that comes with this apology. ...and the fact her comic Kickstarter campaign is in its last stretch doesn't help with that either.