If there even is a celebration. That New Day segment on Raw was so goooooood!
Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best
- Thread starter Jarf
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Hell in a Cell 2016
Match 1: United States Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Roman Reigns (c) def. Rusev (24:35)
It feels like I'm the only person who loves this match. Matter of fact, I'll take it further. I thought this was the match of the night. For nearly two quarters of an hour, these guys beat the hell out of each other and I loved every bit of it. This was a brawl from start to finish. They utilized the Cell pretty early on. Fought around the ring. Nothing crazy so far but the pace was consistent and didn't slow down a whole lot. Of course the bit where Rusev was using a kendo stick on Roman wearing a protective vest was goofy, but aside from that, this match actually ruled. The match is also even for the most part. I feel like Rusev was more on top for this match but it's like 51-49% difference. Rusev brings some steps into the ring and places them on the top rope which come into play later. After the kendo stick comes into play, they start to engage in fisticuffs and I love it. There's a nice sequence where Roman hits the corner, Rusev bounces off the ropes into a Superman Punch. Roman goes for a Spear, and eats a machka kick before Rusev throws Roman face first into the steps he set up on the ropes. The way the steps fly off is a satisfying touch too. Rusev covers Roman. Roman kicks out. Rusev puts Roman in the Accolade. But Roman manages to escape. Then Rusev goes out and grabs a steel chain from under the ring. Roman momentarily fights back and causes him to drop it. But Rusev picks it back up and starts beating Roman with it. Rusev goes back out and brings the bottom half of the steps in the ring. And applies the Accolade on top of them, using the chain to pull back on Roman's face. But Roman manages to escape and gets Rusev in a fireman's carry before he hits a samoan drop on the steps. Rusev stands back up on steps and Reigns Spears him off for the victory. Definitely sticking this in the underrated category. They managed to keep me entertained for the entire match.
My Rating: ****1/4
Match 2: Bayley def. Dana Brooke (6:30)
That's more than what I can say for this match. But at least it's shorter. Most of this match is just Dana working over Bayley, who came into this match with a bad shoulder. It really isn't anything special. Very skippable match. Bayley starts to make a comeback and goes for a Bayley to Belly. Dana swats at her arm to escape but then Bayley hits it a moment later anyway to pick up the win.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 3: Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson def. Enzo & Cass (6:40)
Again, not a lot to talk about. Its a standard tag team match. Especially with Enzo involved, you know he got his ass whooped. Enzo and Cass get off to a hot start especially with Cass military pressing Enzo onto Luke and Karl outside. But their mistake was letting Enzo do literally anything other than talk. Gallows turns Enzo inside out with a clothesline. They start beating Enzo up in their corner. Like I said, standard tag match. Enzo tags in Cass, who is a one man wrecking crew and just beats on the pew pew pals. Cass misses a big boot on the apron. Enzo tags himself in and Karl kicks Cass in the face for his trouble. Enzo drops Anderson with a DDT off the top rope. Gallows comes back and boots Enzo in the face before he tags in Karl and they hit Enzo with the Magic Killer for the win.
My Rating: **1/4
Match 4: Universal Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Kevin Owens (c) def. Seth Rollins (23:09)
On to our second of 3 Cell Matches this evening. (I'm all celled out after getting two of these PPVs back to back). This is usually considered the best on this night I think. But I don’t know, I think it was just shy of greatness despite one particularly sick spot during the match. The match starts out with some brawling, mostly in Seth's favor. But Owens whips him into the corner and Seth starts selling his back because he was powerbombed on the apron on Raw. There's a bit where Owens just throws Seth through the ropes, face first into the cage. Owens sets up a table outside which will come into play later. But once Seth starts fighting back, KO brings out a fire extinguisher. He hits Seth with it and sprays the referee in the face. And as they're trying to get the ref out, Chris Jericho runs down to get into the cage and he locks the door. It becomes basically a Handicap Match from this point forward. Rollins knocks Jericho off the apron into the Cell and KO drops him with his not package piledriver. Or Canadian Cocktease as Jawnny called it. He sets up yet another table over the one he already set up earlier, with the legs shoved through the Cell and the other end against the apron. KO goes to powerbomb Seth through it, but Rollins picks Owens up and powerbombs him through the tables from the ring! Might be the coolest table spot ever. Rollins gets Kevin back in the ring, hits a frog splash for a 2 count because Jericho pulled the referee out of the ring. Seth goes out and starts beating up Jericho now and powerbombs him into the Cell. But that allowed KO just enough time to recover and he hits Seth with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. But Rollins stays in the match. Jericho tosses in a couple chairs. And KO starts wearing one out on Seth. Jericho tries to swing but Seth kicks him in the gut and starts beating on them with a chair. But it was a last gasp for Seth. Owens sets up the two chairs in the ring and powerbombs him onto them before covering him for the 3 count.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 5: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Brian Kendrick def. TJ Perkins (c) (10:29)
Well this is one of the deadest crowds I've ever seen for a match. Like holy hell they didn't give a shit. For that reason it was hard to get into it. Pretty even match for the most part. It’s important to note in the build up to this match, Kendrick’s whole thing is that “this is my last chance man.” He has to win and even tells TJ to let him win. TJ doesn’t let him win. They each manage to lock in their submission holds. Kendrick applies the Captain’s Hook, TJ manages to escape by rolling onto his back for a pin. TJ locks in the Knee Bar on Kendrick, but Kendrick reaches the ropes. Not a whole lot interesting happening here. Kendrick goes for Sliced Bread No. 2 but Kendrick lands and immediately goes down, clutching his ankle. TJ goes to attack but the referee tells him to back off. Perkins for a moment looks like he’s feeling bad for Kendrick. And when he goes to help Kendrick back up, Kendrick headbutts him and puts him back in the Captain’s Hook to force TJ to tap out.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - Cesaro & Sheamus def. The New Day (Big E. & Xavier) (c) via DQ (10:58)
Ah, the first PPV match of one of my personal favorite tag teams, The Bar. At this point, neither of them could stand each other and were forced to team up by Mick Foley. Xavier starts the match, and gets his shit pushed in by Cesaro and Sheamus, who try to outdo each other. Woods hits Cesaro with an enziguri, which gives him enough time to tag in Big E. who turns the match around for his team. Xavier dives on Cesaro outside with E. and Sheamus still in the ring. Big E. catches Sheamus out of a Brogue Kick in a powerbomb position and drops him. Woods and Cesaro get tagged back in. Woods superkicks Sheamus off the apron and leaps off the ropes with an elbow halfway across the ring to Cesaro. But Cesaro swings Woods around and puts him in the Sharpshooter. But E. runs back in and belly to bellies Cesaro into their corner. They pick Cesaro up for the UUDD. But Sheamus knocks Woods off the apron and goes to Brogue Big E. but E. dodges and Sheamus kicks Cesaro instead. E. clotheslines Sheamus over the ropes. Woods crawls back inside and very slowly makes his way over to cover Cesaro, but Sheamus breaks up the pin. Sheamus weirdly enough dives off the ropes onto the New Day, wasn’t expecting that. Woods gets back in the ring and goes for a running knee on Cesaro. But Cesaro counters it and applies the Sharpshooter on Woods. Big E. tries to save him but Sheamus cracks the trombone over his back. Referee doesn’t see it, but Sheamus takes a swing at Kofi next. Kofi dodges and hits Sheamus with Trouble in Paradise. That the referee sees and calls for the DQ. But what he doesn’t see is Woods tapping out to the Sharpshooter. So when the bell rings, Cesaro thinks they won, which they did, but not the titles. I actually don’t mind this finish so much. I think this is an example of a DQ finish done right.
My Rating: ***1/4
Main Event: Raw Women's Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Charlotte def. Sasha Banks (c) (21:59)
The first ever women’s Hell in a Cell Match. Could it live up to the hype? Ehhhhh, not really. I was expecting more from these two. Still a good match, these two were slapping the shit out of each other at one point. Charlotte attacks Sasha before the match can even start. The Cell is nearly fully lowered down when Charlotte attacks her. They go outside the Cell and for some reason, they start climbing the cage. Charlotte grabs Sasha and powerbombs her through one of the announce tables. And Sasha is coming into this match with some back problems to begin with. So they bring out a stretcher and EMTs out to help Sasha. Once they start announcing Charlotte the winner by forfeit, Sasha gets up and starts hitting the people trying to help her and says “Let me in coach!” So both women are in the cell and the match begins. Sasha starts with an assault on Charlotte. But Charlotte pulls Sasha into the ring post before she monkey flips a standing Sasha into the Cell wall. Sasha gets Charlotte in the Bank Statement pretty early on and Charlotte escapes by standing up and dropping Sasha on the apron outside. Sasha dives through the ropes into Charlotte. Sasha runs at Charlotte, who throws Sasha overhead into the Cell. Sasha leaps off with a meteora on Charlotte which was kinda cool. Sasha hits Charlotte with 3 Amigos, homage to the best wrestler of all time. Then hits a frog splash for a 2 count. Sasha transitions into the Bank Statement but Charlotte manages to escape. Soon enough we have our first table spot of the match. And we run into a problem. These women are not heavy enough to break these tables. The first one comes when Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron into a table she set up outside. I feel like Sasha was supposed to meteora her through it which would’ve been cool as fuck. But I think Charlotte slipped and fell into it. This table does not break. At best it crumbles. I could be wrong about that meteora. Charlotte manages to put the Figure 8 on Sasha. But Sasha escapes by grabbing a chair and hitting Charlotte in the side with it. Charlotte gives Sasha 3 backbreakers before laying her on a table near the corner. Sasha stops her in her tracks before she takes the table and sets up on the other side of the ring. Sasha picks Charlotte up in a powerbomb position and goes to drop Charlotte through the table, but her back gives out and Charlotte grabs Sasha and throws her onto the table that doesn’t break. And then she does it again and that table says “What was that, a fly?” And I guess they said fuck the table and Charlotte hits Sasha with a Natural Selection to pin her for the 3 count… Don’t you just love hot potato? So, good match. They did some good stuff, but the pace was just so slow and the table spots are so awkward.
My Rating: ***1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.44
My Rating: 6.5/10
So how does this HIAC PPV compare to the last one I watched. I think this was slightly worse. I think this card was more consistent. However, 3 Hell in a Cell Matches is overdoing it. Both Cell Matches on the last show were both amazing in their own ways. The only Cell Match on this show I can say I really really liked was Roman vs Rusev, which I don’t know how doesn’t get more praise. And they talked up the women’s Cell Match so much, as they should’ve, only for it to not live up to its hype. And I also think that they at least utilized the Cell well in the next year’s event. I feel like all 3 Cell Matches on this show would’ve been fine as a regular No DQ Match.
Match 1: United States Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Roman Reigns (c) def. Rusev (24:35)
It feels like I'm the only person who loves this match. Matter of fact, I'll take it further. I thought this was the match of the night. For nearly two quarters of an hour, these guys beat the hell out of each other and I loved every bit of it. This was a brawl from start to finish. They utilized the Cell pretty early on. Fought around the ring. Nothing crazy so far but the pace was consistent and didn't slow down a whole lot. Of course the bit where Rusev was using a kendo stick on Roman wearing a protective vest was goofy, but aside from that, this match actually ruled. The match is also even for the most part. I feel like Rusev was more on top for this match but it's like 51-49% difference. Rusev brings some steps into the ring and places them on the top rope which come into play later. After the kendo stick comes into play, they start to engage in fisticuffs and I love it. There's a nice sequence where Roman hits the corner, Rusev bounces off the ropes into a Superman Punch. Roman goes for a Spear, and eats a machka kick before Rusev throws Roman face first into the steps he set up on the ropes. The way the steps fly off is a satisfying touch too. Rusev covers Roman. Roman kicks out. Rusev puts Roman in the Accolade. But Roman manages to escape. Then Rusev goes out and grabs a steel chain from under the ring. Roman momentarily fights back and causes him to drop it. But Rusev picks it back up and starts beating Roman with it. Rusev goes back out and brings the bottom half of the steps in the ring. And applies the Accolade on top of them, using the chain to pull back on Roman's face. But Roman manages to escape and gets Rusev in a fireman's carry before he hits a samoan drop on the steps. Rusev stands back up on steps and Reigns Spears him off for the victory. Definitely sticking this in the underrated category. They managed to keep me entertained for the entire match.
My Rating: ****1/4
Match 2: Bayley def. Dana Brooke (6:30)
That's more than what I can say for this match. But at least it's shorter. Most of this match is just Dana working over Bayley, who came into this match with a bad shoulder. It really isn't anything special. Very skippable match. Bayley starts to make a comeback and goes for a Bayley to Belly. Dana swats at her arm to escape but then Bayley hits it a moment later anyway to pick up the win.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 3: Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson def. Enzo & Cass (6:40)
Again, not a lot to talk about. Its a standard tag team match. Especially with Enzo involved, you know he got his ass whooped. Enzo and Cass get off to a hot start especially with Cass military pressing Enzo onto Luke and Karl outside. But their mistake was letting Enzo do literally anything other than talk. Gallows turns Enzo inside out with a clothesline. They start beating Enzo up in their corner. Like I said, standard tag match. Enzo tags in Cass, who is a one man wrecking crew and just beats on the pew pew pals. Cass misses a big boot on the apron. Enzo tags himself in and Karl kicks Cass in the face for his trouble. Enzo drops Anderson with a DDT off the top rope. Gallows comes back and boots Enzo in the face before he tags in Karl and they hit Enzo with the Magic Killer for the win.
My Rating: **1/4
Match 4: Universal Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Kevin Owens (c) def. Seth Rollins (23:09)
On to our second of 3 Cell Matches this evening. (I'm all celled out after getting two of these PPVs back to back). This is usually considered the best on this night I think. But I don’t know, I think it was just shy of greatness despite one particularly sick spot during the match. The match starts out with some brawling, mostly in Seth's favor. But Owens whips him into the corner and Seth starts selling his back because he was powerbombed on the apron on Raw. There's a bit where Owens just throws Seth through the ropes, face first into the cage. Owens sets up a table outside which will come into play later. But once Seth starts fighting back, KO brings out a fire extinguisher. He hits Seth with it and sprays the referee in the face. And as they're trying to get the ref out, Chris Jericho runs down to get into the cage and he locks the door. It becomes basically a Handicap Match from this point forward. Rollins knocks Jericho off the apron into the Cell and KO drops him with his not package piledriver. Or Canadian Cocktease as Jawnny called it. He sets up yet another table over the one he already set up earlier, with the legs shoved through the Cell and the other end against the apron. KO goes to powerbomb Seth through it, but Rollins picks Owens up and powerbombs him through the tables from the ring! Might be the coolest table spot ever. Rollins gets Kevin back in the ring, hits a frog splash for a 2 count because Jericho pulled the referee out of the ring. Seth goes out and starts beating up Jericho now and powerbombs him into the Cell. But that allowed KO just enough time to recover and he hits Seth with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. But Rollins stays in the match. Jericho tosses in a couple chairs. And KO starts wearing one out on Seth. Jericho tries to swing but Seth kicks him in the gut and starts beating on them with a chair. But it was a last gasp for Seth. Owens sets up the two chairs in the ring and powerbombs him onto them before covering him for the 3 count.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 5: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Brian Kendrick def. TJ Perkins (c) (10:29)
Well this is one of the deadest crowds I've ever seen for a match. Like holy hell they didn't give a shit. For that reason it was hard to get into it. Pretty even match for the most part. It’s important to note in the build up to this match, Kendrick’s whole thing is that “this is my last chance man.” He has to win and even tells TJ to let him win. TJ doesn’t let him win. They each manage to lock in their submission holds. Kendrick applies the Captain’s Hook, TJ manages to escape by rolling onto his back for a pin. TJ locks in the Knee Bar on Kendrick, but Kendrick reaches the ropes. Not a whole lot interesting happening here. Kendrick goes for Sliced Bread No. 2 but Kendrick lands and immediately goes down, clutching his ankle. TJ goes to attack but the referee tells him to back off. Perkins for a moment looks like he’s feeling bad for Kendrick. And when he goes to help Kendrick back up, Kendrick headbutts him and puts him back in the Captain’s Hook to force TJ to tap out.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 6: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - Cesaro & Sheamus def. The New Day (Big E. & Xavier) (c) via DQ (10:58)
Ah, the first PPV match of one of my personal favorite tag teams, The Bar. At this point, neither of them could stand each other and were forced to team up by Mick Foley. Xavier starts the match, and gets his shit pushed in by Cesaro and Sheamus, who try to outdo each other. Woods hits Cesaro with an enziguri, which gives him enough time to tag in Big E. who turns the match around for his team. Xavier dives on Cesaro outside with E. and Sheamus still in the ring. Big E. catches Sheamus out of a Brogue Kick in a powerbomb position and drops him. Woods and Cesaro get tagged back in. Woods superkicks Sheamus off the apron and leaps off the ropes with an elbow halfway across the ring to Cesaro. But Cesaro swings Woods around and puts him in the Sharpshooter. But E. runs back in and belly to bellies Cesaro into their corner. They pick Cesaro up for the UUDD. But Sheamus knocks Woods off the apron and goes to Brogue Big E. but E. dodges and Sheamus kicks Cesaro instead. E. clotheslines Sheamus over the ropes. Woods crawls back inside and very slowly makes his way over to cover Cesaro, but Sheamus breaks up the pin. Sheamus weirdly enough dives off the ropes onto the New Day, wasn’t expecting that. Woods gets back in the ring and goes for a running knee on Cesaro. But Cesaro counters it and applies the Sharpshooter on Woods. Big E. tries to save him but Sheamus cracks the trombone over his back. Referee doesn’t see it, but Sheamus takes a swing at Kofi next. Kofi dodges and hits Sheamus with Trouble in Paradise. That the referee sees and calls for the DQ. But what he doesn’t see is Woods tapping out to the Sharpshooter. So when the bell rings, Cesaro thinks they won, which they did, but not the titles. I actually don’t mind this finish so much. I think this is an example of a DQ finish done right.
My Rating: ***1/4
Main Event: Raw Women's Championship Hell in a Cell Match - Charlotte def. Sasha Banks (c) (21:59)
The first ever women’s Hell in a Cell Match. Could it live up to the hype? Ehhhhh, not really. I was expecting more from these two. Still a good match, these two were slapping the shit out of each other at one point. Charlotte attacks Sasha before the match can even start. The Cell is nearly fully lowered down when Charlotte attacks her. They go outside the Cell and for some reason, they start climbing the cage. Charlotte grabs Sasha and powerbombs her through one of the announce tables. And Sasha is coming into this match with some back problems to begin with. So they bring out a stretcher and EMTs out to help Sasha. Once they start announcing Charlotte the winner by forfeit, Sasha gets up and starts hitting the people trying to help her and says “Let me in coach!” So both women are in the cell and the match begins. Sasha starts with an assault on Charlotte. But Charlotte pulls Sasha into the ring post before she monkey flips a standing Sasha into the Cell wall. Sasha gets Charlotte in the Bank Statement pretty early on and Charlotte escapes by standing up and dropping Sasha on the apron outside. Sasha dives through the ropes into Charlotte. Sasha runs at Charlotte, who throws Sasha overhead into the Cell. Sasha leaps off with a meteora on Charlotte which was kinda cool. Sasha hits Charlotte with 3 Amigos, homage to the best wrestler of all time. Then hits a frog splash for a 2 count. Sasha transitions into the Bank Statement but Charlotte manages to escape. Soon enough we have our first table spot of the match. And we run into a problem. These women are not heavy enough to break these tables. The first one comes when Sasha kicks Charlotte off the apron into a table she set up outside. I feel like Sasha was supposed to meteora her through it which would’ve been cool as fuck. But I think Charlotte slipped and fell into it. This table does not break. At best it crumbles. I could be wrong about that meteora. Charlotte manages to put the Figure 8 on Sasha. But Sasha escapes by grabbing a chair and hitting Charlotte in the side with it. Charlotte gives Sasha 3 backbreakers before laying her on a table near the corner. Sasha stops her in her tracks before she takes the table and sets up on the other side of the ring. Sasha picks Charlotte up in a powerbomb position and goes to drop Charlotte through the table, but her back gives out and Charlotte grabs Sasha and throws her onto the table that doesn’t break. And then she does it again and that table says “What was that, a fly?” And I guess they said fuck the table and Charlotte hits Sasha with a Natural Selection to pin her for the 3 count… Don’t you just love hot potato? So, good match. They did some good stuff, but the pace was just so slow and the table spots are so awkward.
My Rating: ***1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.44
My Rating: 6.5/10
So how does this HIAC PPV compare to the last one I watched. I think this was slightly worse. I think this card was more consistent. However, 3 Hell in a Cell Matches is overdoing it. Both Cell Matches on the last show were both amazing in their own ways. The only Cell Match on this show I can say I really really liked was Roman vs Rusev, which I don’t know how doesn’t get more praise. And they talked up the women’s Cell Match so much, as they should’ve, only for it to not live up to its hype. And I also think that they at least utilized the Cell well in the next year’s event. I feel like all 3 Cell Matches on this show would’ve been fine as a regular No DQ Match.
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I'm with you on that Rusev/Reigns match, in a vacuum it's fucking amazing
Crown Jewel 2024
I must say, I've never felt more underwhelmed from such a good show.
Match 1: Solo Sikoa, Jacob Fatu & Tama Tonga def. Roman Reigns & The Usos (16:35)
Decent match to open the show, but for a match like this, it should be better. Jey has seemingly put all the bad blood with Jimmy aside as they work together well at the start. But when Roman asks for a tag, Jey tags in Jimmy instead, causing some tensions between Roman and Jey already. Tama takes advantage and chop blocks Jimmy’s knee. They keep Jimmy away from his corner for a bit before he tags in Jey, but in the next several minutes, Tama knocks Jimmy off the apron and Jey finally tags in Roman, which gets the crowd into a frenzy. And Solo gets tagged in at the same time. Roman and Solo start going at it and Roman seems to have the upper hand, and he superman punches Solo. He goes for a Spear. But Solo kicks him in the face, and gives him a Samoan Spike. Solo covers Roman and… Jimmy misses his cue to break up the pin and it… it looks bad man. Roman doesn’t really kick out, the referee kinda stops counting. Chaos ensues as The Usos, Tama and Jacob come back. Tama takes Jimmy out, Jey superkicks him and it takes several to knock Fatu out of the ring. Jey goes for a suicide dive on Jacob, but Jake catches him and headbutts him. Back in the ring, Roman once again goes for a Spear, but Tama distracts him. Roman brings him into the ring, hitting the referee in the process. Roman drops Tama and Solo with a superman punch each. But Jacob catches Roman and headbutts him before he hits Roman with a moonsault. Jacob dives onto the Usos and Solo picks Roman up so he can Samoan Spike him again and then hits another one for good measure and pins him to win the match. They attempt to finish the job they started after the match is over, but Sami Zayn comes down to save them. A big brawl ensues that ends with Solo being surrounded by the OG Bloodline. Sami and Roman go to kick and punch Solo simultaneously, but Solo dodges them and escapes. And Sami kicks Roman in the face as a result.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: Women's Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill (c) def. Damage CTRL, Chelsea Green & Piper Niven & Meta-Four (12:00)
A little better than the last match. This was pretty exciting at times, but it was also kind of a mess at the same time. Funny enough, I think the champs were the least interesting in this match. I think the other 3 teams carried it. I especially liked what Damage CTRL and Meta-Four did in this match. I’d say halfway through the match, they go into second gear. Screw tag rules. I say that in a good way. I don’t think Chelsea Green did anything but get her ass kicked, which I guess is sort of her gimmick is that she’s a bad wrestler. Chelsea goes to dive from the top rope, but gets scared and she steps down, gets scared again and goes lower, now she’s just on the apron and leaps into the arms of Piper Niven. Kairi goes up and drops an elbow into both of them. Iyo goes up and hits a moonsault onto them next. Jakara Jackson gets onto Lash Legend’s shoulders and leaps off onto the crowd of wrestlers outside. Jade Gargill hits Chelsea with the Glam Slam (or Jaded as she calls it) and the match is saved. Iyo tosses Kairi into the air so she can drop an elbow on Bianca. Jakara takes Iyo out with a missile dropkick. Lash picks Kairi up on her shoulders and throws her off for a sitout powerbomb from Jackson. Piper takes Legend. Chelsea finally gets one move in and hits a codebreaker on Jakara, setting up for Piper to hit a running senton. Chelsea and Piper try to set Jade up for Piper to hit a Vader Bomb. But Jade knocks Chelsea to the ground and sets her down below Piper. Piper Vader Bombs her own partner, who rolls out of the ring. As she’s climbing again and apologizing, Jade comes up from behind and picks her up on her shoulders, for Bianca to hit a clothesline from the top rope, winning the match with a Doomsday Device which I actually loved.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Seth Rollins def. Bronson Reed (12:20)
I think many prefer the main event to this match. But this is my match of the night. This one just had far more intensity. (And far more reasons to happen, but we’ll get to that later). Seth makes his entrance first, followed by Reed and Seth meets him halfway up the ramp. The fight begins before the bell rings. They fight outside the ring and for Seth, doesn’t go the way he probably hoped it did. Bronson picks Seth up and launches him over the barricade into a chair. Seth is bruised and already bloody from his back from this and the bell hasn’t even rung yet. Bronson throws Seth in the ring and the bell finally rings. And Reed immediately goes up and hits a Tsunami. Then he goes back up and tries to hit another one. This time, Seth dodges and hits him with a Stomp that Bronson kicks out of. Reed dominates a lot of the match and he overwhelms Seth with his size. I like the story being told here. Bronson is the one trying to make a name for himself, yet Seth is the underdog and somehow it works. Seth makes little comebacks here and there and Bronson would take control back shortly after. He takes Seth to the top rope and goes for a superplex, but Rollins throws him off and hits a frog splash. Bronson continues to beat Seth down. He drops him with a spinning sitout powerbomb, death valley driver and hits that superplex he went for earlier. But Seth continues to fight. Bronson grabs him by his face and tells him to stay down. But Seth says “You should’ve finished me when you had the chance.” Bronson goes for another Tsunami, but Rollins rolls out of the ring, only for Reed to follow him out there. Reed picks up the steel steps, and Seth chops Reed’s knee, making Reed fall face first into the steps. Seth takes advantage of that and Stomps Reed’s face into the steps. Seth gets back in the ring and Reed starts to stir. He crawls back in only to get stomped again into the mat. Seth goes to the ropes and hits a 3rd Stomp to Reed to finish the big man off. Really loved this match.
My Rating: ****
Match 4: Women's Crown Jewel Championship Match - Women's World Champion Liv Morgan def. WWE Women's Champion Nia Jax (8:15)
Our first of two matches of the evening for a pointless title. I got some feelings about these two matches. I couldn’t care less for this match but at least its short. Most of this match is Liv trying and failing to attack Nia. Liv attacks Nia right out of the gate with a dropkick, but most of Liv’s offense is met with Nia bowling her over as you could expect. Nia hits Liv with a samoan drop from the middle rope and Liv kicks out of it shockingly enough. By some miracle, Liv manages to sunset flip Nia off the ropes to the mat. Then Tiffany Stratton’s music hits and she runs down to the ring with her briefcase in hand, looking like she’s contemplating cashing in. Nia comes out and backs her up towards the ramp, telling her to leave. The match continues and Liv hits Nia with a codebreaker. Raquel Rodriguez is out here now and her and Liv back Tiffy up against the barricade. Nia bowls them all over, but Dirty Dom makes his way out now and distracts the referee so Liv can hit Nia with the briefcase that Raquel threw in. Raquel hits Nia with a superkick from the apron before Nia stumbles back against the ropes and Liv hits Nia with ObLIVion to win the pointless championship. Good for her I guess.
My Rating: **1/4
Kevin Owens and Randy Orton were next up on the card, but we didn’t get that because before the match even started, they were fighting. And admittedly, its a pretty sweet fight. They were trying to kill each other. But we have a bunch of referees and guys in suits coming to the ring. KO stuns a referee. Orton RKOs Adam Pearce. But where were all these people when Seth and Reed were fighting earlier? The fight goes out into the crowd where KO slams a road case into Orton’s face three times. Orton falls back on the tables behind him and KO finds steps climbs on top of a railing and drops an elbow into Orton. Nice brawl and all, but there’s no match.
Match 5: United States Championship Triple Threat Match - LA Knight (c) def. Andrade & Carmelo Hayes (9:10)
Straight to the point. That’s how this match was. Fast paced and over with. Andrade and Carmelo did a lot of the work, but that doesn’t make LA was any slouch. Andrade and Hayes double superkick Knight out of the ring and go at it. Andrade hits Hayes with a Spanish Fly off the middle rope. He goes up with Hayes laid out in front of him so you think he's gonna hit him with something but moonsaults to the outside on LA instead. Andrade throws LA back in the ring and Hayes dives over the ropes on Andrade. LA goes for the BFT but Hayes throws him into a back elbow from Andrade. Andrade gives Hayes a Canadian Destroyer, and with Hayes and Knight lying beside each other, Andrade goes to moonsault them both. Hayes and Knight roll out of the way but in different directions. Andrade lands on his feet and hits the moonsault on LA anyway. LA leaps to the middle rope and hits Andrade with an overhead German from there, leaving Hayes up there so he can hit a diving legdrop on LA. Hayes goes for a tilt-a-whirl… something, on Andrade and has his head in position for a facebuster, but Knight grabs Hayes and drops him with a BFT, with Hayes pulling Andrade down with him so its like a double BFT. Really liked this match.
My Rating: ***1/2
Main Event: Men's Crown Jewel Championship Match - Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes def. World Heavyweight Champion Gunther (23:00)
I always expected the first time we got Cody vs Gunther to be a much bigger deal. But I could not in any way make myself care about this match. Much like Liv and Nia, they are fighting for a pointless title. And the finish only hammers my point home that this match didn't need to happen. But, even so, it's still a very good match. Not a whole lot to talk about in the early parts of the match. Gunther doing the Bret Hart taunt after chopping Cody was pretty funny. Several times, Gunther tries to lock in the sleeper. Cody goes to suicide dive on Gunther, but Gunther catches him and slams him back first into the apron. Cody starts selling his back but then he starts doing stalling suplexes for some reason. That'll fix his back for sure. Cody starts to mount a comeback and he goes for the disaster kick, but Gunther catches him in a Boston crab. Gunther pulls Cody up and tries the sleeper again, and Cody reaches the ropes, but Gunther grabs him by the waist and Germans him. Cody ducks a clothesline and hits Gunther with a Cross Rhodes… Gunther gets up first after about 40 seconds. The psychology of this match is very weird. Gunther dropkicks Cody in the corner and hits a huge powerbomb and stacks him for a 2 count. And then Gunther starts slapping Cody in the head and taunting him. Cody shoves him back and then they start trading slaps to the chest and this part is pretty sweet. They start beating the shit out of each other. Cody hits another Cross Rhodes for a 2 count. Cody leaps to the top rope and goes for a big cutter, but Gunther catches him in a Sleeper! But Cody rolls back and with Gunther's shoulders to the mat, referee counts 3. And what does he win? Bragging rights and a title he doesn't get to keep… Good for him? I'm standing on the hill that this match should've been saved for a bigger stage and bigger stakes. This match just feels so meaningless. Good match nonetheless.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 5.83
My Rating: 6/10
Triple H hasn't really been cooking as well lately as far as these PLEs are concerned. This show, for all intents and purposes, should be considered good. The card was mostly decent. But just the fact the two matches they sold this show on feel meaningless really really hurts it, at least in my opinion. I wasn’t exactly eager to watch this show. Bad Blood had its problems but it also at least had a genuine match of the year candidate on it.
I must say, I've never felt more underwhelmed from such a good show.
Match 1: Solo Sikoa, Jacob Fatu & Tama Tonga def. Roman Reigns & The Usos (16:35)
Decent match to open the show, but for a match like this, it should be better. Jey has seemingly put all the bad blood with Jimmy aside as they work together well at the start. But when Roman asks for a tag, Jey tags in Jimmy instead, causing some tensions between Roman and Jey already. Tama takes advantage and chop blocks Jimmy’s knee. They keep Jimmy away from his corner for a bit before he tags in Jey, but in the next several minutes, Tama knocks Jimmy off the apron and Jey finally tags in Roman, which gets the crowd into a frenzy. And Solo gets tagged in at the same time. Roman and Solo start going at it and Roman seems to have the upper hand, and he superman punches Solo. He goes for a Spear. But Solo kicks him in the face, and gives him a Samoan Spike. Solo covers Roman and… Jimmy misses his cue to break up the pin and it… it looks bad man. Roman doesn’t really kick out, the referee kinda stops counting. Chaos ensues as The Usos, Tama and Jacob come back. Tama takes Jimmy out, Jey superkicks him and it takes several to knock Fatu out of the ring. Jey goes for a suicide dive on Jacob, but Jake catches him and headbutts him. Back in the ring, Roman once again goes for a Spear, but Tama distracts him. Roman brings him into the ring, hitting the referee in the process. Roman drops Tama and Solo with a superman punch each. But Jacob catches Roman and headbutts him before he hits Roman with a moonsault. Jacob dives onto the Usos and Solo picks Roman up so he can Samoan Spike him again and then hits another one for good measure and pins him to win the match. They attempt to finish the job they started after the match is over, but Sami Zayn comes down to save them. A big brawl ensues that ends with Solo being surrounded by the OG Bloodline. Sami and Roman go to kick and punch Solo simultaneously, but Solo dodges them and escapes. And Sami kicks Roman in the face as a result.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: Women's Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill (c) def. Damage CTRL, Chelsea Green & Piper Niven & Meta-Four (12:00)
A little better than the last match. This was pretty exciting at times, but it was also kind of a mess at the same time. Funny enough, I think the champs were the least interesting in this match. I think the other 3 teams carried it. I especially liked what Damage CTRL and Meta-Four did in this match. I’d say halfway through the match, they go into second gear. Screw tag rules. I say that in a good way. I don’t think Chelsea Green did anything but get her ass kicked, which I guess is sort of her gimmick is that she’s a bad wrestler. Chelsea goes to dive from the top rope, but gets scared and she steps down, gets scared again and goes lower, now she’s just on the apron and leaps into the arms of Piper Niven. Kairi goes up and drops an elbow into both of them. Iyo goes up and hits a moonsault onto them next. Jakara Jackson gets onto Lash Legend’s shoulders and leaps off onto the crowd of wrestlers outside. Jade Gargill hits Chelsea with the Glam Slam (or Jaded as she calls it) and the match is saved. Iyo tosses Kairi into the air so she can drop an elbow on Bianca. Jakara takes Iyo out with a missile dropkick. Lash picks Kairi up on her shoulders and throws her off for a sitout powerbomb from Jackson. Piper takes Legend. Chelsea finally gets one move in and hits a codebreaker on Jakara, setting up for Piper to hit a running senton. Chelsea and Piper try to set Jade up for Piper to hit a Vader Bomb. But Jade knocks Chelsea to the ground and sets her down below Piper. Piper Vader Bombs her own partner, who rolls out of the ring. As she’s climbing again and apologizing, Jade comes up from behind and picks her up on her shoulders, for Bianca to hit a clothesline from the top rope, winning the match with a Doomsday Device which I actually loved.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Seth Rollins def. Bronson Reed (12:20)
I think many prefer the main event to this match. But this is my match of the night. This one just had far more intensity. (And far more reasons to happen, but we’ll get to that later). Seth makes his entrance first, followed by Reed and Seth meets him halfway up the ramp. The fight begins before the bell rings. They fight outside the ring and for Seth, doesn’t go the way he probably hoped it did. Bronson picks Seth up and launches him over the barricade into a chair. Seth is bruised and already bloody from his back from this and the bell hasn’t even rung yet. Bronson throws Seth in the ring and the bell finally rings. And Reed immediately goes up and hits a Tsunami. Then he goes back up and tries to hit another one. This time, Seth dodges and hits him with a Stomp that Bronson kicks out of. Reed dominates a lot of the match and he overwhelms Seth with his size. I like the story being told here. Bronson is the one trying to make a name for himself, yet Seth is the underdog and somehow it works. Seth makes little comebacks here and there and Bronson would take control back shortly after. He takes Seth to the top rope and goes for a superplex, but Rollins throws him off and hits a frog splash. Bronson continues to beat Seth down. He drops him with a spinning sitout powerbomb, death valley driver and hits that superplex he went for earlier. But Seth continues to fight. Bronson grabs him by his face and tells him to stay down. But Seth says “You should’ve finished me when you had the chance.” Bronson goes for another Tsunami, but Rollins rolls out of the ring, only for Reed to follow him out there. Reed picks up the steel steps, and Seth chops Reed’s knee, making Reed fall face first into the steps. Seth takes advantage of that and Stomps Reed’s face into the steps. Seth gets back in the ring and Reed starts to stir. He crawls back in only to get stomped again into the mat. Seth goes to the ropes and hits a 3rd Stomp to Reed to finish the big man off. Really loved this match.
My Rating: ****
Match 4: Women's Crown Jewel Championship Match - Women's World Champion Liv Morgan def. WWE Women's Champion Nia Jax (8:15)
Our first of two matches of the evening for a pointless title. I got some feelings about these two matches. I couldn’t care less for this match but at least its short. Most of this match is Liv trying and failing to attack Nia. Liv attacks Nia right out of the gate with a dropkick, but most of Liv’s offense is met with Nia bowling her over as you could expect. Nia hits Liv with a samoan drop from the middle rope and Liv kicks out of it shockingly enough. By some miracle, Liv manages to sunset flip Nia off the ropes to the mat. Then Tiffany Stratton’s music hits and she runs down to the ring with her briefcase in hand, looking like she’s contemplating cashing in. Nia comes out and backs her up towards the ramp, telling her to leave. The match continues and Liv hits Nia with a codebreaker. Raquel Rodriguez is out here now and her and Liv back Tiffy up against the barricade. Nia bowls them all over, but Dirty Dom makes his way out now and distracts the referee so Liv can hit Nia with the briefcase that Raquel threw in. Raquel hits Nia with a superkick from the apron before Nia stumbles back against the ropes and Liv hits Nia with ObLIVion to win the pointless championship. Good for her I guess.
My Rating: **1/4
Kevin Owens and Randy Orton were next up on the card, but we didn’t get that because before the match even started, they were fighting. And admittedly, its a pretty sweet fight. They were trying to kill each other. But we have a bunch of referees and guys in suits coming to the ring. KO stuns a referee. Orton RKOs Adam Pearce. But where were all these people when Seth and Reed were fighting earlier? The fight goes out into the crowd where KO slams a road case into Orton’s face three times. Orton falls back on the tables behind him and KO finds steps climbs on top of a railing and drops an elbow into Orton. Nice brawl and all, but there’s no match.
Match 5: United States Championship Triple Threat Match - LA Knight (c) def. Andrade & Carmelo Hayes (9:10)
Straight to the point. That’s how this match was. Fast paced and over with. Andrade and Carmelo did a lot of the work, but that doesn’t make LA was any slouch. Andrade and Hayes double superkick Knight out of the ring and go at it. Andrade hits Hayes with a Spanish Fly off the middle rope. He goes up with Hayes laid out in front of him so you think he's gonna hit him with something but moonsaults to the outside on LA instead. Andrade throws LA back in the ring and Hayes dives over the ropes on Andrade. LA goes for the BFT but Hayes throws him into a back elbow from Andrade. Andrade gives Hayes a Canadian Destroyer, and with Hayes and Knight lying beside each other, Andrade goes to moonsault them both. Hayes and Knight roll out of the way but in different directions. Andrade lands on his feet and hits the moonsault on LA anyway. LA leaps to the middle rope and hits Andrade with an overhead German from there, leaving Hayes up there so he can hit a diving legdrop on LA. Hayes goes for a tilt-a-whirl… something, on Andrade and has his head in position for a facebuster, but Knight grabs Hayes and drops him with a BFT, with Hayes pulling Andrade down with him so its like a double BFT. Really liked this match.
My Rating: ***1/2
Main Event: Men's Crown Jewel Championship Match - Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes def. World Heavyweight Champion Gunther (23:00)
I always expected the first time we got Cody vs Gunther to be a much bigger deal. But I could not in any way make myself care about this match. Much like Liv and Nia, they are fighting for a pointless title. And the finish only hammers my point home that this match didn't need to happen. But, even so, it's still a very good match. Not a whole lot to talk about in the early parts of the match. Gunther doing the Bret Hart taunt after chopping Cody was pretty funny. Several times, Gunther tries to lock in the sleeper. Cody goes to suicide dive on Gunther, but Gunther catches him and slams him back first into the apron. Cody starts selling his back but then he starts doing stalling suplexes for some reason. That'll fix his back for sure. Cody starts to mount a comeback and he goes for the disaster kick, but Gunther catches him in a Boston crab. Gunther pulls Cody up and tries the sleeper again, and Cody reaches the ropes, but Gunther grabs him by the waist and Germans him. Cody ducks a clothesline and hits Gunther with a Cross Rhodes… Gunther gets up first after about 40 seconds. The psychology of this match is very weird. Gunther dropkicks Cody in the corner and hits a huge powerbomb and stacks him for a 2 count. And then Gunther starts slapping Cody in the head and taunting him. Cody shoves him back and then they start trading slaps to the chest and this part is pretty sweet. They start beating the shit out of each other. Cody hits another Cross Rhodes for a 2 count. Cody leaps to the top rope and goes for a big cutter, but Gunther catches him in a Sleeper! But Cody rolls back and with Gunther's shoulders to the mat, referee counts 3. And what does he win? Bragging rights and a title he doesn't get to keep… Good for him? I'm standing on the hill that this match should've been saved for a bigger stage and bigger stakes. This match just feels so meaningless. Good match nonetheless.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 5.83
My Rating: 6/10
Triple H hasn't really been cooking as well lately as far as these PLEs are concerned. This show, for all intents and purposes, should be considered good. The card was mostly decent. But just the fact the two matches they sold this show on feel meaningless really really hurts it, at least in my opinion. I wasn’t exactly eager to watch this show. Bad Blood had its problems but it also at least had a genuine match of the year candidate on it.
No Mercy 2003
Match 1: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Tajiri (c) def. Rey Mysterio (12:05)
To start off the show, we have cruiserweights, which is always a good way to start. I love that Rey had the referee check Tajiri's mouth for mist before the match. Rey attempts to play Tajiri's striking game a bit at the start. Tajiri goes for a back handspring but Rey dropkicks him in the back, Tajiri would roll out and Rey would dive over into him. Tajiri starts attacking Rey's arm, which Michael Cole mentions might make doing the 619 more difficult. Tajiri grounds Mysterio. But Rey finds an opening to go to the top rope and hits a tornado DDT. Rey leaps in from the apron, hooking Tajiri with his legs and takes him outside. Then he hits a hurricanrana from the apron. Rey springboards and Tajiri dodges him, kicks Rey in the gut and sends him into the ropes, where Rey counters into a 619 to the gut. Rey goes for West Coast Pop, but Tajiri catches him and powerbombs him into the mat! There's a particular nutty spot where Tajiri throws Rey over his head, Rey lands on the top rope, feet first! Let me say that again, feet first! And then hits a moonsault. Rey manages to hit the full 619, West Coast Pop combo at the end, but a couple guys in hoods, probably Solo Sikoa and Drew McIntyre, run in and distract the referee long enough for Tajiri to kick out, kick Rey in the head and retain the gold.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 2: Chris Benoit def. A-Train (12:21)
Not a lot of people would be able to get a match like this out of Matt Bloom. There weren’t really any points where the match would slow down. Because whenever A-Train tried, Benoit would give him a kick or a chop and basically made A-Train work at his pace. This was a stiff match. They beat the shit out of each other in this one. Pretty early on in the match, A-Train busts Benoit's mouth and makes him bleed from there. A-Train pulls out a move not sure I've seen him do where he hooks Benoit by the arms and drops him face first on his knee. Benoit starts to mount a comeback only for it to be stopped. A-Train goes out and grabs a chair for whatever reason and drops it on the mat. He presses Benoit over his head. And Benoit lands on his fucking head on the chair. I don’t know what went wrong here but I'm guessing that's not what was supposed to happen. Funnily enough, I think A-Train stopped getting pushed after that. The referee for some reason allows A-Train to place the chair in between the top turnbuckles. Benoit manages to get A-Train in the Crossface but A-Train escapes and Benoit starts to throw A-Train with German suplexes. He misses a diving headbutt and A-Train hits a Baldo Bomb, which was a sit out chokeslam. But Benoit kicks out of it. A-Train goes to boot Benoit in the corner, but Benoit dodged it and A-Train gets his leg caught in the chair. Benoit takes him down and applies the Sharpshooter to make the big man tap out. Really good match.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 3: Zach Gowen def. Matt Hardy (6:50)
Dude, I didn't know that Zach Gowen was this awesome. He was so athletic for having one leg. This match pissed off one particular Cagematch user so much, he went on a tyrade. Its actually kinda hilarious. I don’t care, for a 7 minute match, this was good. Zach bumps like crazy for Matt. Matt misses a moonsault, and Zach Gowen, hopping on one foot starts to make a comeback. Matt rolls to the outside and Zach leaps up and off the top rope with his knee onto Matt. This man was doing crossbody's. Matt hits a side effect and places Zach on the top rope. Zach knocks Matt off with a couple elbows to the face, followed up with a moonsault for the 3 count. Zach really blew me away with this match.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 4: The Basham Brothers def. The APA (8:55)
And after 3 really good matches, we take a nose dive. What a lame match this was. This all started because Bradshaw gave The Bashams’ mistress Shaniqua a Clothesline From Hell. I bring that up because the post match interview is absolutely insane. This match is just nothing worth watching. Its a typical tag match. APA kick The Bashams asses early on. The Bashams isolate Faarooq for a bit. Faarooq tags in Bradshaw, who just cleans house and whoops the Bashams on his own. One of the Bashams (can't remember which) fights with Faarooq outside as Bradshaw clotheslines the other one in the ring, but the referee is down at this point and Shaniqua returns and whips JBL in the head and (insert Basham here) hits a rough Ryder to win. And the post match interview had me wheezing with laughter because god damn. Shaniqua says that Bradshaw's clothesline “did this,” as she motions to her titties. I guess they were bigger now and she said they were swollen and it won't stop swelling. So you're telling me… that Bradshaw's clothesline gave her bigger himmer hommers? I see now how JBL really became as rich as he did, he had a million dollar idea on his hands.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 5: I Quit Match - Vince McMahon def. Stephanie McMahon (9:28)
Oh boy. What… what to say about this match? Well, it's bad for one. This was not a good match in the slightest, even if the crowd got really into it. The extra stipulations was that Stephanie’s General Management was on the line and she could also win by pinning Vince. The early stage is Vince just beating up his daughter for just an awkward amount of time. Sable throws a pipe into the ring for Vince to use but Linda yanks her off the apron. Stephanie low blows Vince and then again using the pipe. Steph beats her dad with the pipe and the audience is so behind her. This might be the hardest Stephanie's ever been cheered. Vince eventually has enough and grabs Steph by the throat and shoves her to the mat. Vince grabs the pipe from both and chokes Stephanie with it until Linda throws the towel in to stop the match. So Vince beats his daughter in front of a live audience. Thats weird. So Steph is gone as GM of SmackDown. Anyway, moving on.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 6: Kurt Angle def. John Cena (18:24)
Probably the first great match of John Cena's career, and who better to have it with than against Kurt Angle. I love this match. I think Kurt really brought out the best Cena had to offer at this point. To preface, Cena laid down his neck chain in one corner while Kurt laid his gold medal down in another. Tazz and Cole did a good job at emphasizing that Cena had to turn the match into a fight and not try to outwrestle Kurt, and they spend a lot of the early part of the match showcasing that. Angle looks good there but after he rams his shoulder into the ring post, Cena finds his opening. Cena busts Angle's lip and goes up to the ropes. Angle gets up and tries to suplex him off, but Cena tosses him to the mat and comes off the top, but gets dropkicked on the shin in mid-air by Angle. Angle drops Cena and tries getting him in the Ankle Lock, but Cena reaches the ropes and escapes to the outside. But Cena places himself in firm control with a DDT on the apron which knocks Kurt loopy. And as Kurt comes back in the ring, Cena legdrops him from the second rope. Cena picks Kurt up in a powerbomb position and throws him into the turnbuckle and the way Kurt just crumbles and doesn't move makes it look like it killed him. Cena readies Kurt for the FU, Cena hits it, covers Kurt. But Kurt kicks out. Cena goes for it again and Angle slides back to hit an Angle Slam. Cena kicks out of that, and grabs his chain. The referee sees it in his hand and Cena tosses it across the ring to distract him. Then Cena pulls Kurt's gold medal out of his pants which I never even saw him grab! He hits Kurt with it and covers him, 1, 2, kickout again! How insulting would it have been if Kurt had lost by getting KO'd by his own Olympic medal! Cena picks Kurt up for the FU, but Angle sits on Cena's shoulders and victory rolls into an Ankle Lock. And Angle lays down and latches on that ankle and at that point theres no escape. Cena taps out after an awesome match!
My Rating: ****1/4
Match 7: United States Championship Match - Big Show def. Eddie Guerrero (c) (11:22)
To preface this match, Big Show had BRUTALLY attacked Eddie Guerrero on SmackDown. Throwing Eddie into the windshield of his track, powerbombing him on the hood and Chokeslamming him on the roof. Eddie comes out with his back bandaged up, and his arm scarred, bandaged and bruised. Eddie starts the match throwing the title at Big Show and dropkicking him in the knee, trying to catch the big man off guard. But Big Show catches Eddie and starts to dominate him. Eddie finds an opening as he takes Big Show outside. He tosses a steel chair into the ring to distract the referee and then grabs a garbage can lid and whacks Show in the head with it. Eddie fights back but Big Show throws him twice into the ring post before he picks Eddie up and throws him back in, over the top rope. Big Show yanks the top turnbuckle pad off and Eddie uses that to his advantage as he pushes Show's face into it as he stands on the corner. Eddie then hits a Frog Splash to a standing Big Show and knocks him off his feet and it starts to look like Eddie has a chance. Eddie covers Big Show, but Big Show shoves Eddie off him onto the referee. Big Show drops a leg on the referee aiming for Eddie. Eddie pulls out some brass knucks and knocks Big Show loopy with them with 2 shots. Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash! The referee gives a weak count and Big Show kicks out. Show grabs Eddie by the throat and chokeslams him. But Eddie, too close to the ropes gets his foot on the rope. Eddie kicks Show in the dick and hits him with a DDT for a 2 count. But Big Show grabs him again and Chokeslams him for the win. But Eddie put up one hell of a fight. He sure didn't go down easy.
My Rating: ***1/4
Main Event: WWE Championship Biker Chain Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. The Undertaker (24:20)
I was really hoping this match wasn't as bad as I remember it. But good god its even worse. Its soooooo boring. I think Undertaker was working hurt to be fair. He had an arm brace and neither Cole or Tazz even bothered to mention it. But this is such a far cry from the amazing Cell Match they had at the previous No Mercy. This is just the Heidenreich match only with more overbooking. So there's this chain, hanging from a pole and someone can bring it down. They don't have to, but they can. This whole match is just Brock and Taker punching and bumping. It's such a boring match. Undertaker tries to go up for the chain, but the lights go out so he can't see. He tries to do it again, this time, the FBI of all people run down to stop him, but Taker quickly takes care of them. After having thoroughly whooped Brock’s ass, Undertaker goes back up to yank the chain down, but this time, Vince comes out from under the ring and shoves Taker off crotch first into the top rope. Undertaker drops the chain and Brock grabs it, clobbering Taker in the face with it to retain.
My Rating: **
Cagematch Rating: 6.48
My Rating: 8.5/10
I had fun watching this. I think it gets slept on a lot. Most of this show is excellent. It's the bad matches that really bring it down. If it weren't for them, I probably would've went higher. But overall, I thought this was a great show.
Match 1: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Tajiri (c) def. Rey Mysterio (12:05)
To start off the show, we have cruiserweights, which is always a good way to start. I love that Rey had the referee check Tajiri's mouth for mist before the match. Rey attempts to play Tajiri's striking game a bit at the start. Tajiri goes for a back handspring but Rey dropkicks him in the back, Tajiri would roll out and Rey would dive over into him. Tajiri starts attacking Rey's arm, which Michael Cole mentions might make doing the 619 more difficult. Tajiri grounds Mysterio. But Rey finds an opening to go to the top rope and hits a tornado DDT. Rey leaps in from the apron, hooking Tajiri with his legs and takes him outside. Then he hits a hurricanrana from the apron. Rey springboards and Tajiri dodges him, kicks Rey in the gut and sends him into the ropes, where Rey counters into a 619 to the gut. Rey goes for West Coast Pop, but Tajiri catches him and powerbombs him into the mat! There's a particular nutty spot where Tajiri throws Rey over his head, Rey lands on the top rope, feet first! Let me say that again, feet first! And then hits a moonsault. Rey manages to hit the full 619, West Coast Pop combo at the end, but a couple guys in hoods, probably Solo Sikoa and Drew McIntyre, run in and distract the referee long enough for Tajiri to kick out, kick Rey in the head and retain the gold.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 2: Chris Benoit def. A-Train (12:21)
Not a lot of people would be able to get a match like this out of Matt Bloom. There weren’t really any points where the match would slow down. Because whenever A-Train tried, Benoit would give him a kick or a chop and basically made A-Train work at his pace. This was a stiff match. They beat the shit out of each other in this one. Pretty early on in the match, A-Train busts Benoit's mouth and makes him bleed from there. A-Train pulls out a move not sure I've seen him do where he hooks Benoit by the arms and drops him face first on his knee. Benoit starts to mount a comeback only for it to be stopped. A-Train goes out and grabs a chair for whatever reason and drops it on the mat. He presses Benoit over his head. And Benoit lands on his fucking head on the chair. I don’t know what went wrong here but I'm guessing that's not what was supposed to happen. Funnily enough, I think A-Train stopped getting pushed after that. The referee for some reason allows A-Train to place the chair in between the top turnbuckles. Benoit manages to get A-Train in the Crossface but A-Train escapes and Benoit starts to throw A-Train with German suplexes. He misses a diving headbutt and A-Train hits a Baldo Bomb, which was a sit out chokeslam. But Benoit kicks out of it. A-Train goes to boot Benoit in the corner, but Benoit dodged it and A-Train gets his leg caught in the chair. Benoit takes him down and applies the Sharpshooter to make the big man tap out. Really good match.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 3: Zach Gowen def. Matt Hardy (6:50)
Dude, I didn't know that Zach Gowen was this awesome. He was so athletic for having one leg. This match pissed off one particular Cagematch user so much, he went on a tyrade. Its actually kinda hilarious. I don’t care, for a 7 minute match, this was good. Zach bumps like crazy for Matt. Matt misses a moonsault, and Zach Gowen, hopping on one foot starts to make a comeback. Matt rolls to the outside and Zach leaps up and off the top rope with his knee onto Matt. This man was doing crossbody's. Matt hits a side effect and places Zach on the top rope. Zach knocks Matt off with a couple elbows to the face, followed up with a moonsault for the 3 count. Zach really blew me away with this match.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 4: The Basham Brothers def. The APA (8:55)
And after 3 really good matches, we take a nose dive. What a lame match this was. This all started because Bradshaw gave The Bashams’ mistress Shaniqua a Clothesline From Hell. I bring that up because the post match interview is absolutely insane. This match is just nothing worth watching. Its a typical tag match. APA kick The Bashams asses early on. The Bashams isolate Faarooq for a bit. Faarooq tags in Bradshaw, who just cleans house and whoops the Bashams on his own. One of the Bashams (can't remember which) fights with Faarooq outside as Bradshaw clotheslines the other one in the ring, but the referee is down at this point and Shaniqua returns and whips JBL in the head and (insert Basham here) hits a rough Ryder to win. And the post match interview had me wheezing with laughter because god damn. Shaniqua says that Bradshaw's clothesline “did this,” as she motions to her titties. I guess they were bigger now and she said they were swollen and it won't stop swelling. So you're telling me… that Bradshaw's clothesline gave her bigger himmer hommers? I see now how JBL really became as rich as he did, he had a million dollar idea on his hands.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 5: I Quit Match - Vince McMahon def. Stephanie McMahon (9:28)
Oh boy. What… what to say about this match? Well, it's bad for one. This was not a good match in the slightest, even if the crowd got really into it. The extra stipulations was that Stephanie’s General Management was on the line and she could also win by pinning Vince. The early stage is Vince just beating up his daughter for just an awkward amount of time. Sable throws a pipe into the ring for Vince to use but Linda yanks her off the apron. Stephanie low blows Vince and then again using the pipe. Steph beats her dad with the pipe and the audience is so behind her. This might be the hardest Stephanie's ever been cheered. Vince eventually has enough and grabs Steph by the throat and shoves her to the mat. Vince grabs the pipe from both and chokes Stephanie with it until Linda throws the towel in to stop the match. So Vince beats his daughter in front of a live audience. Thats weird. So Steph is gone as GM of SmackDown. Anyway, moving on.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 6: Kurt Angle def. John Cena (18:24)
Probably the first great match of John Cena's career, and who better to have it with than against Kurt Angle. I love this match. I think Kurt really brought out the best Cena had to offer at this point. To preface, Cena laid down his neck chain in one corner while Kurt laid his gold medal down in another. Tazz and Cole did a good job at emphasizing that Cena had to turn the match into a fight and not try to outwrestle Kurt, and they spend a lot of the early part of the match showcasing that. Angle looks good there but after he rams his shoulder into the ring post, Cena finds his opening. Cena busts Angle's lip and goes up to the ropes. Angle gets up and tries to suplex him off, but Cena tosses him to the mat and comes off the top, but gets dropkicked on the shin in mid-air by Angle. Angle drops Cena and tries getting him in the Ankle Lock, but Cena reaches the ropes and escapes to the outside. But Cena places himself in firm control with a DDT on the apron which knocks Kurt loopy. And as Kurt comes back in the ring, Cena legdrops him from the second rope. Cena picks Kurt up in a powerbomb position and throws him into the turnbuckle and the way Kurt just crumbles and doesn't move makes it look like it killed him. Cena readies Kurt for the FU, Cena hits it, covers Kurt. But Kurt kicks out. Cena goes for it again and Angle slides back to hit an Angle Slam. Cena kicks out of that, and grabs his chain. The referee sees it in his hand and Cena tosses it across the ring to distract him. Then Cena pulls Kurt's gold medal out of his pants which I never even saw him grab! He hits Kurt with it and covers him, 1, 2, kickout again! How insulting would it have been if Kurt had lost by getting KO'd by his own Olympic medal! Cena picks Kurt up for the FU, but Angle sits on Cena's shoulders and victory rolls into an Ankle Lock. And Angle lays down and latches on that ankle and at that point theres no escape. Cena taps out after an awesome match!
My Rating: ****1/4
Match 7: United States Championship Match - Big Show def. Eddie Guerrero (c) (11:22)
To preface this match, Big Show had BRUTALLY attacked Eddie Guerrero on SmackDown. Throwing Eddie into the windshield of his track, powerbombing him on the hood and Chokeslamming him on the roof. Eddie comes out with his back bandaged up, and his arm scarred, bandaged and bruised. Eddie starts the match throwing the title at Big Show and dropkicking him in the knee, trying to catch the big man off guard. But Big Show catches Eddie and starts to dominate him. Eddie finds an opening as he takes Big Show outside. He tosses a steel chair into the ring to distract the referee and then grabs a garbage can lid and whacks Show in the head with it. Eddie fights back but Big Show throws him twice into the ring post before he picks Eddie up and throws him back in, over the top rope. Big Show yanks the top turnbuckle pad off and Eddie uses that to his advantage as he pushes Show's face into it as he stands on the corner. Eddie then hits a Frog Splash to a standing Big Show and knocks him off his feet and it starts to look like Eddie has a chance. Eddie covers Big Show, but Big Show shoves Eddie off him onto the referee. Big Show drops a leg on the referee aiming for Eddie. Eddie pulls out some brass knucks and knocks Big Show loopy with them with 2 shots. Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash! The referee gives a weak count and Big Show kicks out. Show grabs Eddie by the throat and chokeslams him. But Eddie, too close to the ropes gets his foot on the rope. Eddie kicks Show in the dick and hits him with a DDT for a 2 count. But Big Show grabs him again and Chokeslams him for the win. But Eddie put up one hell of a fight. He sure didn't go down easy.
My Rating: ***1/4
Main Event: WWE Championship Biker Chain Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. The Undertaker (24:20)
I was really hoping this match wasn't as bad as I remember it. But good god its even worse. Its soooooo boring. I think Undertaker was working hurt to be fair. He had an arm brace and neither Cole or Tazz even bothered to mention it. But this is such a far cry from the amazing Cell Match they had at the previous No Mercy. This is just the Heidenreich match only with more overbooking. So there's this chain, hanging from a pole and someone can bring it down. They don't have to, but they can. This whole match is just Brock and Taker punching and bumping. It's such a boring match. Undertaker tries to go up for the chain, but the lights go out so he can't see. He tries to do it again, this time, the FBI of all people run down to stop him, but Taker quickly takes care of them. After having thoroughly whooped Brock’s ass, Undertaker goes back up to yank the chain down, but this time, Vince comes out from under the ring and shoves Taker off crotch first into the top rope. Undertaker drops the chain and Brock grabs it, clobbering Taker in the face with it to retain.
My Rating: **
Cagematch Rating: 6.48
My Rating: 8.5/10
I had fun watching this. I think it gets slept on a lot. Most of this show is excellent. It's the bad matches that really bring it down. If it weren't for them, I probably would've went higher. But overall, I thought this was a great show.
Fastlane 2018
Match 1: Shinsuke Nakamura def. Rusev (14:28)
Remember when Nakamura's future in WWE looked promising. He won the Royal Rumble and was challenge for the WWE Title at WrestleMania. The night started off promising as well. These two worked well together. Pretty early in the match, Nakamura hits Rusev with that “COME AHHHHN” And Rusev just leaves the ring. Based lol. He stays out there until Nakamura goes out to get him himself. Shinsuke throws him back in and Rusev knocks him off the apron and starts going after Shinsuke's back. But Nakamura is able to stay in it and it becomes a striking match with both throwing hands, feet, whatever. Rusev for the Accolade but Shinsuke escapes. He drops Rusev with a spinning heel kick before he tries the Kinshasa, only to get a Machka kick to the face. Once again, Rusev goes for the Accolade, but Shinsuke slides out the back, and knees Rusev in the back of the head and hits one more Kinshasa to pull out the win. Damn good way to start the show.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 2: United States Championship Match - Randy Orton def. Bobby Roode (c) (19:27)
This is such a wild match to me, because how did they book Randy Orton vs Bobby Roode with both of them as babyfaces? They gave this match almost 20 minutes which means they had time to kill. Boy is this match really boring at times. It's a decent match but I'm not crazy about it. Each of them tries to hit their finisher about halfway through. Orton starts going after Roode’s ribs cause he starts favoring it after before dropped on the top rope. The momentum continues to swing between them however, it looks like they're even here because Vince liked Bobby Roode at first. Orton attempts to hit a superplex, but Roode sunset flips over and hits a powerbomb on Orton. Roode goes back and Randy follows him there, to now hit the suplex. Orton goes for the RKO but Roode shoves Orton into the ropes and hits a spinebuster. Roode goes to the second rope and gets caught in an RKO, which made the crowd pop for the first time in the match. Orton wins and then bane of his existence, Jinder Mahal comes out to steal another title from Orton. Jinder starts putting the boots to Orton, but Roode comes back in, hits Jinder with a Glorious DDT and then gives one to Orton before we move on.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Carmella & Natalya def. Becky Lynch & Naomi (8:55)
Really the only rough spot in the show for me. Really just feels like a throwaway match to fill time. It starts off like any tag match. The babyfaces (Becky and Naomi) look good (in more ways than one) to start the match. Naomi goes for a split legged moonsault on Nattie, but a distraction from Carmella, allows Natalya to pick Naomi up and hit a powerbomb out of the corner. Naomi gets isolated from her corner, and ev eventually reaches Becky who mounts their comeback. They mess quite a few spots in this time, one of which, all Nattie has to do is let Becky throw her out of the ring. It takes almost a full 10 seconds for them to do that. In the end, Nattie grabs Carmella’s briefcase and tries to throw it to her, but Becky knocks her off the apron only to then get beaten by a superkick by Carmella.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 4: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos (c) vs. The New Day (Kofi & Xavier) ended in a no contest (9:00)
They hyped this match up so hard only for there to not be a winner at the end of the match. For that reason, this match gets overlooked in their feud but even this was such a fun match to watch. It did not slow down from the jump, they let these guys go all out. A minute in, we start off with Jimmy and Xavier, Jey tags himself in, Woods doesn't see it. Woods bounces off the ropes, Jey slides in from the side and makes Woods eat a superkick. Xavier tags in Kofi, who comes in flying, kick, throwing hands and feet. Jey attempts to hit the Uso… throw my ass in your face maneuver in the corner and gets double stomped. Kofi knocks Jimmy off the apron… And then he does the “throw my ass in your face” move. But then shortly after that, you got Jimmy hitting Kofi with the boom drop. And they just start hitting each other with their own moves. Jimmy goes for a Trouble in Paradise, but Kofi ducks and tries it himself. Jimmy ducks and tags in his brother before he hits Kofi with a superkick and picks him him back up so they can hit him with the Midnight Hour! Woods saves the match and he eventually comes, dropping The Usos with superkicks. Kofi hits a splash on an Uso. Both men try to hit a splash on Jimmy at the same time like The Usos do. But Jey comes in, shoves Kofi off the top turnbuckle to the outside, and backdrops Xavier over the ropes. Big E. goes over to get them up, but The Usos dive to the outside onto them. So now everybody is down and the Bludgeon Brothers’ music hits and they beat down everyone there. This is like, a 7 minute beatdown is what this was. They came out and said “we're going to kill you actually.” Like by the time they're done, both teams are either on their face or their back, Xavier is fucking having a seizure. Lame finish but at least Harper and Rowan looked cool.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 5: SmackDown Women's Championship Match - Charlotte Flair (c) def. Ruby Riott (13:45)
A pretty decent match. Ruby actually looked good here against Vince's favorite which is surprising, looking back on it. Ruby walks out by herself but Liv and Sarah arrive shortly into the match and distracts Charlotte. Ruby manages to hit her finish, the Riott Kick (which is just a rainmaker spin into a kick) early, but Charlotte kicks out. Ruby tosses her outside and distracts the referee, attempting to give Liv and Sarah a chance to gang up on her, but Becky and Naomi run out to even the odds. Ruby grounds Charlotte to the mat, but Charlotte begins to comeback. She goes up for a moonsault and Ruby shoves her off into the barricade. But Ruby gets caught and tossed into the barricade by Charlotte. The match is slightly more even from this point. Liv and Sarah actually bait Becky and Naomi into the ring by sliding in themselves. The referee doesn't see them, only Becky and Naomi getting in the ring to stop them. So he ejects them and while his attention is with them, Liv and Sarah beat up Charlotte from the outside. But the referee ejects them next and Charlotte starts hitting all the classics on Ruby, big boot. She hits her with a Spear that Ruby sells awesomely before putting her in a Figure 8 to force her to tap. But before Charlotte can really celebrate, the winner of the Royal Rumble, Asuka’s music hits! She comes out and all she has to do is point at the WrestleMania sign and the road is crystal clear. And so, what would end up being the show stealer of that PPV is set.
My Rating: ***
Main Event: WWE Championship 6-Pack Challenge - AJ Styles (c) def. John Cena, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler & Baron Corbin (21:55)
Chaotic. This match was chaotic and I loved every second of it. First off, the winner was gonna face Shinsuke at WrestleMania, so there's no way AJ was gonna lose. But that shouldn't take away from how awesome this was. The bell rings and Sami immediately goes to attack Cena, who gives him an AA. Then KO charges and he gets AA'd. And then it's Corbin's turn. And, oh what's this? Dolph gets one too? This felt like such a goofy way to start the match, it's like watching a Looney Tunes cartoon and being like “how do they keep falling for this?” Thankfully, AJ was smarter than that and thinks twice about it. AJ and Cena go at it for a few minutes before everyone else gets back up and surrounds the ring, and Cena's like, “we can talk about this.” Everyone, including AJ start stomping Cena’s ass here. So after they toss Cena out, it becomes every man for himself. AJ manages to hold down the fort and takes on the rest of his opponents each and holds his own. The sequence of events after this pretty sweet. Owens goes to the top to hit something on AJ. But Corbin comes, tosses him out, he boots Sami in the face, Cena comes back in and clotheslines Corbin, but gets DDT'd by Ziggler. And as Ziggler is on the mat, Owens hits him with a frog splash. Cena hits both Ziggler and Zayn with a double 5 knuckle shuffle and picks Ziggler up for an AA. But Ziggler counters it into a Famouser. (recently discovered i've been spelling it wrong this whole time). While this is happening in the ring, Styles is fighting with Corbin on the entrance way. Ziggler sets Cena up for a superkick, but Cena ducks and drop toe holds Ziggler down into the STF. Styles runs down from the stage to the ring to stop it. Cena picks AJ up for an AA, but Styles counters it into a Styles Clash! The pin is broken up by Zayn, but Corbin comes in a moment later and starts whooping some ass. This is the kind of Corbin I like to see. He takes no prisoners here, knocking Sami's lights out, turns KO inside out with a clothesline, deep six on AJ. He tosses Dolph about 7 feet into the air. Before he goes for End of Days, but Dolph flips on his feet to escape it. He sidesteps Corbin, who flies outside, but just pulls Dolph out of the ring and into the crowd. Corbin knocks himself and Dolph out by ramming him into the hockey barrier out there. Back at ringside. Owens has begun taking apart the announcers tables and goes to powerbomb AJ but, Styles escapes and goes over the barricade with Sami. Cena gets on the table with KO and tries to AA him through the table beside theirs, but Owens escapes. And AJ gets up and runs into the fate Owens just escaped, AA through the table. Cena follows Owens inside only for them to get thrown out by Sami running back in. This leaves us with the bestest pals, Owens and Zayn in the ring. Owens doesn’t trust Sami, but Sami lays down for him and tells him to trust him. And Owens gets down and aggressively grabs Sami by the head, but Zayn just pulls Owens into a small package. Owens kicks out and just like old times, these 2 get back up and start throwing fists and beating the hell out of each other. The action spills to the outside where Shane McMahon is sitting in a chair, and I forgot to mention that beforehand. Zayn gets in Shane’s face, asking him if he’s happy and proud of himself. But then Owens goes to kick Zayn, who sidesteps and Owens kicks Shane instead. It was accidental, but Owens doesn’t look sorry either, but as he’s looking at Shane, Sami throws himself between the turnbuckles and DDTs Owens. Sami throws Owens back in and goes for the Helluva Kick, but gets superkicked by KO. Dolph comes in a moment later and tries the Zig Zag. KO shoves him off his back and hits him with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. 1, 2… Shane pulls the referee out of the ring. Owens is furious. He’s pissed off, and he yells at Shane from the corner, not knowing Zayn is back in and drops KO with a Helluva Kick, 1, 2… Shane pulls Sami out of the ring now. Shane screws both of them. Corbin returns with steel steps in hand. He knocks Cena down with them, before he hits Sami, then Dolph and then Owens. Cena crawls back in moments later and Corbin swings at him, but Cena gets his hands up and stops Corbin in his tracks, kicking him and taking the steps for himself and hits him 3 times with it. Cena sets the steps down in the ring and hits Corbin with an AA onto the steps! He covers Corbin and Dolph saves the match, only to eat an AA himself. Cena picks Dolph back up for another one, only for Kevin to slide back in, yanks Ziggler off and sends Cena off the ropes for a Pop-Up Powerbomb. But AJ is finally back up and he hits Kevin with a Phenomenal Forearm to retain. What a match. Frantic and chaotic from the get go and I can’t ask for anything more.
My Rating: ****1/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.50
My Rating: 7.5/10
It only took WWE about 4 years to present a good Fastlane PPV. There’s some moments in the show that I don’t care too much for. The women’s tag match being one of them. Orton and Roode was okay for what it was, but 19 minutes? Sheesh. Other than that, I don’t really have too many problems with this show, but I wouldn’t put it up there as one of my favorites.
Match 1: Shinsuke Nakamura def. Rusev (14:28)
Remember when Nakamura's future in WWE looked promising. He won the Royal Rumble and was challenge for the WWE Title at WrestleMania. The night started off promising as well. These two worked well together. Pretty early in the match, Nakamura hits Rusev with that “COME AHHHHN” And Rusev just leaves the ring. Based lol. He stays out there until Nakamura goes out to get him himself. Shinsuke throws him back in and Rusev knocks him off the apron and starts going after Shinsuke's back. But Nakamura is able to stay in it and it becomes a striking match with both throwing hands, feet, whatever. Rusev for the Accolade but Shinsuke escapes. He drops Rusev with a spinning heel kick before he tries the Kinshasa, only to get a Machka kick to the face. Once again, Rusev goes for the Accolade, but Shinsuke slides out the back, and knees Rusev in the back of the head and hits one more Kinshasa to pull out the win. Damn good way to start the show.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 2: United States Championship Match - Randy Orton def. Bobby Roode (c) (19:27)
This is such a wild match to me, because how did they book Randy Orton vs Bobby Roode with both of them as babyfaces? They gave this match almost 20 minutes which means they had time to kill. Boy is this match really boring at times. It's a decent match but I'm not crazy about it. Each of them tries to hit their finisher about halfway through. Orton starts going after Roode’s ribs cause he starts favoring it after before dropped on the top rope. The momentum continues to swing between them however, it looks like they're even here because Vince liked Bobby Roode at first. Orton attempts to hit a superplex, but Roode sunset flips over and hits a powerbomb on Orton. Roode goes back and Randy follows him there, to now hit the suplex. Orton goes for the RKO but Roode shoves Orton into the ropes and hits a spinebuster. Roode goes to the second rope and gets caught in an RKO, which made the crowd pop for the first time in the match. Orton wins and then bane of his existence, Jinder Mahal comes out to steal another title from Orton. Jinder starts putting the boots to Orton, but Roode comes back in, hits Jinder with a Glorious DDT and then gives one to Orton before we move on.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Carmella & Natalya def. Becky Lynch & Naomi (8:55)
Really the only rough spot in the show for me. Really just feels like a throwaway match to fill time. It starts off like any tag match. The babyfaces (Becky and Naomi) look good (in more ways than one) to start the match. Naomi goes for a split legged moonsault on Nattie, but a distraction from Carmella, allows Natalya to pick Naomi up and hit a powerbomb out of the corner. Naomi gets isolated from her corner, and ev eventually reaches Becky who mounts their comeback. They mess quite a few spots in this time, one of which, all Nattie has to do is let Becky throw her out of the ring. It takes almost a full 10 seconds for them to do that. In the end, Nattie grabs Carmella’s briefcase and tries to throw it to her, but Becky knocks her off the apron only to then get beaten by a superkick by Carmella.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 4: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos (c) vs. The New Day (Kofi & Xavier) ended in a no contest (9:00)
They hyped this match up so hard only for there to not be a winner at the end of the match. For that reason, this match gets overlooked in their feud but even this was such a fun match to watch. It did not slow down from the jump, they let these guys go all out. A minute in, we start off with Jimmy and Xavier, Jey tags himself in, Woods doesn't see it. Woods bounces off the ropes, Jey slides in from the side and makes Woods eat a superkick. Xavier tags in Kofi, who comes in flying, kick, throwing hands and feet. Jey attempts to hit the Uso… throw my ass in your face maneuver in the corner and gets double stomped. Kofi knocks Jimmy off the apron… And then he does the “throw my ass in your face” move. But then shortly after that, you got Jimmy hitting Kofi with the boom drop. And they just start hitting each other with their own moves. Jimmy goes for a Trouble in Paradise, but Kofi ducks and tries it himself. Jimmy ducks and tags in his brother before he hits Kofi with a superkick and picks him him back up so they can hit him with the Midnight Hour! Woods saves the match and he eventually comes, dropping The Usos with superkicks. Kofi hits a splash on an Uso. Both men try to hit a splash on Jimmy at the same time like The Usos do. But Jey comes in, shoves Kofi off the top turnbuckle to the outside, and backdrops Xavier over the ropes. Big E. goes over to get them up, but The Usos dive to the outside onto them. So now everybody is down and the Bludgeon Brothers’ music hits and they beat down everyone there. This is like, a 7 minute beatdown is what this was. They came out and said “we're going to kill you actually.” Like by the time they're done, both teams are either on their face or their back, Xavier is fucking having a seizure. Lame finish but at least Harper and Rowan looked cool.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 5: SmackDown Women's Championship Match - Charlotte Flair (c) def. Ruby Riott (13:45)
A pretty decent match. Ruby actually looked good here against Vince's favorite which is surprising, looking back on it. Ruby walks out by herself but Liv and Sarah arrive shortly into the match and distracts Charlotte. Ruby manages to hit her finish, the Riott Kick (which is just a rainmaker spin into a kick) early, but Charlotte kicks out. Ruby tosses her outside and distracts the referee, attempting to give Liv and Sarah a chance to gang up on her, but Becky and Naomi run out to even the odds. Ruby grounds Charlotte to the mat, but Charlotte begins to comeback. She goes up for a moonsault and Ruby shoves her off into the barricade. But Ruby gets caught and tossed into the barricade by Charlotte. The match is slightly more even from this point. Liv and Sarah actually bait Becky and Naomi into the ring by sliding in themselves. The referee doesn't see them, only Becky and Naomi getting in the ring to stop them. So he ejects them and while his attention is with them, Liv and Sarah beat up Charlotte from the outside. But the referee ejects them next and Charlotte starts hitting all the classics on Ruby, big boot. She hits her with a Spear that Ruby sells awesomely before putting her in a Figure 8 to force her to tap. But before Charlotte can really celebrate, the winner of the Royal Rumble, Asuka’s music hits! She comes out and all she has to do is point at the WrestleMania sign and the road is crystal clear. And so, what would end up being the show stealer of that PPV is set.
My Rating: ***
Main Event: WWE Championship 6-Pack Challenge - AJ Styles (c) def. John Cena, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler & Baron Corbin (21:55)
Chaotic. This match was chaotic and I loved every second of it. First off, the winner was gonna face Shinsuke at WrestleMania, so there's no way AJ was gonna lose. But that shouldn't take away from how awesome this was. The bell rings and Sami immediately goes to attack Cena, who gives him an AA. Then KO charges and he gets AA'd. And then it's Corbin's turn. And, oh what's this? Dolph gets one too? This felt like such a goofy way to start the match, it's like watching a Looney Tunes cartoon and being like “how do they keep falling for this?” Thankfully, AJ was smarter than that and thinks twice about it. AJ and Cena go at it for a few minutes before everyone else gets back up and surrounds the ring, and Cena's like, “we can talk about this.” Everyone, including AJ start stomping Cena’s ass here. So after they toss Cena out, it becomes every man for himself. AJ manages to hold down the fort and takes on the rest of his opponents each and holds his own. The sequence of events after this pretty sweet. Owens goes to the top to hit something on AJ. But Corbin comes, tosses him out, he boots Sami in the face, Cena comes back in and clotheslines Corbin, but gets DDT'd by Ziggler. And as Ziggler is on the mat, Owens hits him with a frog splash. Cena hits both Ziggler and Zayn with a double 5 knuckle shuffle and picks Ziggler up for an AA. But Ziggler counters it into a Famouser. (recently discovered i've been spelling it wrong this whole time). While this is happening in the ring, Styles is fighting with Corbin on the entrance way. Ziggler sets Cena up for a superkick, but Cena ducks and drop toe holds Ziggler down into the STF. Styles runs down from the stage to the ring to stop it. Cena picks AJ up for an AA, but Styles counters it into a Styles Clash! The pin is broken up by Zayn, but Corbin comes in a moment later and starts whooping some ass. This is the kind of Corbin I like to see. He takes no prisoners here, knocking Sami's lights out, turns KO inside out with a clothesline, deep six on AJ. He tosses Dolph about 7 feet into the air. Before he goes for End of Days, but Dolph flips on his feet to escape it. He sidesteps Corbin, who flies outside, but just pulls Dolph out of the ring and into the crowd. Corbin knocks himself and Dolph out by ramming him into the hockey barrier out there. Back at ringside. Owens has begun taking apart the announcers tables and goes to powerbomb AJ but, Styles escapes and goes over the barricade with Sami. Cena gets on the table with KO and tries to AA him through the table beside theirs, but Owens escapes. And AJ gets up and runs into the fate Owens just escaped, AA through the table. Cena follows Owens inside only for them to get thrown out by Sami running back in. This leaves us with the bestest pals, Owens and Zayn in the ring. Owens doesn’t trust Sami, but Sami lays down for him and tells him to trust him. And Owens gets down and aggressively grabs Sami by the head, but Zayn just pulls Owens into a small package. Owens kicks out and just like old times, these 2 get back up and start throwing fists and beating the hell out of each other. The action spills to the outside where Shane McMahon is sitting in a chair, and I forgot to mention that beforehand. Zayn gets in Shane’s face, asking him if he’s happy and proud of himself. But then Owens goes to kick Zayn, who sidesteps and Owens kicks Shane instead. It was accidental, but Owens doesn’t look sorry either, but as he’s looking at Shane, Sami throws himself between the turnbuckles and DDTs Owens. Sami throws Owens back in and goes for the Helluva Kick, but gets superkicked by KO. Dolph comes in a moment later and tries the Zig Zag. KO shoves him off his back and hits him with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. 1, 2… Shane pulls the referee out of the ring. Owens is furious. He’s pissed off, and he yells at Shane from the corner, not knowing Zayn is back in and drops KO with a Helluva Kick, 1, 2… Shane pulls Sami out of the ring now. Shane screws both of them. Corbin returns with steel steps in hand. He knocks Cena down with them, before he hits Sami, then Dolph and then Owens. Cena crawls back in moments later and Corbin swings at him, but Cena gets his hands up and stops Corbin in his tracks, kicking him and taking the steps for himself and hits him 3 times with it. Cena sets the steps down in the ring and hits Corbin with an AA onto the steps! He covers Corbin and Dolph saves the match, only to eat an AA himself. Cena picks Dolph back up for another one, only for Kevin to slide back in, yanks Ziggler off and sends Cena off the ropes for a Pop-Up Powerbomb. But AJ is finally back up and he hits Kevin with a Phenomenal Forearm to retain. What a match. Frantic and chaotic from the get go and I can’t ask for anything more.
My Rating: ****1/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.50
My Rating: 7.5/10
It only took WWE about 4 years to present a good Fastlane PPV. There’s some moments in the show that I don’t care too much for. The women’s tag match being one of them. Orton and Roode was okay for what it was, but 19 minutes? Sheesh. Other than that, I don’t really have too many problems with this show, but I wouldn’t put it up there as one of my favorites.
Extreme Rules 2013
Match 1: Chris Jericho def. Fandango (8:52)
The way Chris Jericho goes from opening with Fandango on this PPV to stealing the show with CM Punk is a little hilarious. As we all know, Fandango beat Jericho at WrestleMania and gave Fandango a major push… For at least a month. His momentum was basically snuffed out here. This match isn't that much different from the one at WrestleMania. I'd say Jericho is taking Fandango a little more seriously in this match. Fandango sunset flips into a pin, but Jericho gets Fandango in the Walls of Jericho. Fandango reaches the rope and catches Chris with an enziguri and then he goes to the top rope and comes off, jumping into a Codebreaker and then the 3 count.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 2: United States Championship Match - Dean Ambrose def. Kofi Kingston (c) (6:49)
The night the Shield were draped in gold, starting with Ambrose, who back then was considered the leader of the group, which feels wild now. And he was taking on Kofi, who was trapped in mid-card purgatory. A really good match for being as short as it was. They told all the story they needed to and got out of there. Despite the push the Shield were getting, Kofi was no pushover and put up a good fight. Ambrose caught Kofi in a Crossface Chickenwing which made Michael Cole pop for some reason. Big Bob Backlund guy I guess. Kofi escapes, hits a Boom Drop and tries Trouble in Paradise, but Ambrose backs into the corner. Kofi ducks a clothesline and leaps to the middle rope, leaps over Dean, just grazes the the top of his head and hits an SOS. Ambrose nails a suplex from the top rope midway through. Ambrose is dropped over the top rope and lands on the apron, he rams his shoulder into Kofi's gut, but Kofi then hits a Trouble in Paradise, dropping Ambrose to the floor. Kofi drags Dean's limp body back in the ring and pins him. But Dean is too close to the ropes and grabs the bottom. Kofi tries for another Trouble in Paradise, but Dean dodges and Kofi's body bounces off the ropes. Dean picks him back up and hits a Headlock Driver to win the match. Then he gets up and says “give me my fucking belt!” Seth and Roman are in the ring a moment later to celebrate with him. 1 title down, 2 (or 1 depending on how you look at it) to go.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Strap Match - Sheamus def. Mark Henry (8:00)
The worst match of the show in my opinion. This was such a drag. It's the touch 4 corners stipulation. They don't really do anything interesting with the stipulation. There is a story element where Sheamus is gonna struggle to drag Mark around. But nah, they just lumber around the ring connected by a strap. Mark Henry wraps the strap around Sheamus’ ankles and tries to drag him around. But it takes them so long to wrap it around his ankles, I don’t care. The end of the match is Sheamus going around touching the corners, but Mark catches him and attempts to hit him with the World's Strongest Slam. Sheamus lands behind Mark and then Brogue Kicks him, before he touches the 4th corner and wins.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 4: World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contenders I Quit Match - Alberto Del Rio def. Jack Swagger (11:22)
From the worst to the second worst. The match is alright, but it's kinda hard to get any momentum going when the referee is asking them if they wanna quit every 30 seconds. This was supposed to be a Ladder Match including Dolph Ziggler for the World Title. But because Swagger shoot kicked him in the face, Dolph was concussed and removed from the match. And all i have to say is, damn you Jack Swagger! Much like the last match, they don’t really do anything interesting with their stipulation aside from the overbooking towards the end. At the end of the match, Swagger applies the ankle lock on Del Rio and Ricardo considers throwing in the towel for him. Del Rio tells him “no.” But Zeb Colter swings a bucket at Ricardo, who ducks but leaves the towel which Zeb grabs and throws in. Swagger is declared the winner and Ricardo tries explaining to him that it wasn't him who threw it, it was Zeb. It takes a 2nd referee to come out and explain to the first one what happened. Chioda asks to see a replay. He sees Zeb throw the towel in and he declares the match will continue. And JBL says exactly what I was thinking in the moment. “Since when did we start using replays?” So the match restarts, and Swagger tries to bring Del Rio back down into the Ankle Lock, but Alberto escapes and gives Swagger's arm a swift kick before he applies the Cross Armbreaker. Swagger holds on for about a minute before he yells I Quit.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 5: WWE Tag Team Championship Tornado Tag Team Match - The Shield def. Team Hell No (c) (7:24)
What a match to look back on. So much has happened in the 11 years since then. Much like the US Title Match earlier, this was quick and to the point. Seth and Roman are the first to have the momentum, they each take a man and once they have them down, they go back and forth between Kane and Bryan, stomping them into the mat. Roman sits on the top rope and Seth picks Bryan up, sitting him on Roman's shoulders. Roman stands up only for Bryan to counter into a head scissors off the middle rope. Kane sends both Shield members outside and Bryan lands a suicide dive to them both. Kane and Bryan start throwing combo moves. Kane hits a leaping clothesline from the top rope on Seth and Bryan hits a diving headbutt on him next. Bryan brings Roman down into a Yes Lock. Kane stands in Seth's way as he's trying to get back into the ring to save him. Seth hangs Kane up on the top rope and springboards into Bryan to save the match. Seth turns around into a Chokeslam by Kane, whos then Speared by Roman. Roman holds off Team Hell No by himself before he's grabbed by Kane, but Seth springboards inside and knees Kane in the face, allowing Roman to hit Kane with another Spear. Roman covers Kane but Bryan breaks up the pin. Roman grabs Bryan and has him in a Torture Rack, holding him for Seth who springboards into the ring and drops a knee over Bryan. I really have to wonder why more teams don't have that as a finisher. Roman covers Bryan and now every member of The Shield is a champion.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 6: Extreme Rules Match - Randy Orton def. Big Show (12:57)
Sounds lame on paper, but it wound up being better than expected. The fact that they were in Randy's hometown helped this match I think. This crowd was firmly behind him. So it only makes sense that Big Show would just whoop his ass for several minutes. Orton makes small comebacks here and there and Big Show would keep stopping him in his tracks. Big Show bridges a ladder between 2 sitting chairs and lays Randy on it, planning to Vader Bomb him. But Randy moves and Big Show lands hip first on the ladder. Ow! From now on, it's all Orton. He gives Big Show a draping DDT off the top rope. He hits the RKO and covers Show, who kicks out. Orton starts swinging a chair at Big Show, and Show is able to halt Orton for a moment with a Spear. But as both men return to their feet, Orton RKOs Big Show onto the chair and then for good measure, punts him in the head before he pins him 1, 2, 3. And the crowd goes wild for the hometown boy.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 7: WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match - John Cena (c) vs. Ryback ended in a no contest (23:00)
A match that took a while to get a full head of steam and for that reason, I have it rated lower than I was thinking. But yeah, this was another good match. Cena comes into this match with an injured ankle. A lot of this early on is just all Ryback pushing around Cena and just straight manhandling him. When Cena finally catches a breath, he brings a table into the ring. Unfortunately for him, he's the one who goes through it with a fallaway slam. Ryback continues to just beat John down but Cena manages to knock Ryback out for a moment with the STF. Cena brings another table into the ring and Ryback just grabs him by his neck and slams him face first into the mat. He picks him back up planning to shell shock him through the table, but Cena slides off and AA's Ryback through the table. Ryback gets up and hits the Shell Shock on Cena, who of course gets back up. Ryback wraps Cena's legs around the ring post and plans to smash Cena's ankle with a chair. But Cena kicks the chair back in his face and spears him through the barricade. When both men get back up, they go through the crowd and fight up on to the stage. Cena sprays Ryback down with a fire extinguisher, and I mean all of it. Cena goes to AA Ryback off the stage, but Ryback slides off, picks Cena up and runs with him through the stage set. And then the match is just over because the referee says it is. To be fair, neither of them were moving after that so its safe to call it a draw.
My Rating: ***3/4
Main Event: Steel Cage Match - Brock Lesnar def. Triple H (20:09)
I thought I was gonna be bored watching this to be honest, given their first couple matches were less than stellar. But these 2 finally managed to find their groove in this match. I thought that this was a great match to end the show. Brock comes out first but HHH attacks him from behind and throws him into the cage. Brock gets in the cage before HHH, and HHH climbs up the turnbuckle and comes off with an axe handle. HHH throws Brock into the cage multiple times. But Brock takes the advantage by reversing a Pedigree, and back dropping HHH into the cage. So now its Brock's turn to throw HHH into the cage. But Brock flings himself, attempting to smash HHH into the cage, but HHH dodges and Brock's knee hits the steel. Brock then starts screaming in pain and he takes to Paul outside saying “ah my knee. My knee’s real bad.” Brock gets HHH in the Kimura Lock. But HHH escapes by attacking Lesnar's knee, Brock knocks HHH down with a clothesline and tries to walk out the cage. But HHH clips his knee and then tries to escape it himself. But then Heyman slams the door in his face. HHH walks back into an F5 by a one legged Lesnar. HHH kicks out. Lesnar tells Paul to get him a chair and Brock wails on HHH with it. Brock picks HHH up for another F5, but this time, his knee buckles and HHH goes after that knee the way I go after pizza. HHH puts Brock in the Figure 4, but Lesnar escapes it by turning over. Brock attempts to climb up the cage and get out, but HHH grabs the chair and smashes Brock in the knee with it. HHH knocks Brock off the cage, he smiles and pulls a sledgehammer out from the top of the cage. Brock causes HHH to drop the sledgehammer and goes to use it, but HHH double legs him and puts him in the Sharpshooter. Paul Heyman gets in the ring at this point. To do what, I don't know but he ends up getting Pedigreed, as does Lesnar a moment later. But Lesnar kicks out of that. HHH picks the sledgehammer back up but Heyman has recovered and low blows HHH. Lesnar chuckles and says “that's my manager.” He picks the sledgehammer up and knocks HHH out with it, then to make sure, he picks him back up and hits another F5 for the victory. And to add insult to injury, Brock lays the hammer on HHH's chest and crosses his arms around it. Great match that I think is right in the middle of 4 star territory. I don’t think it deserves any less or more than that.
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.50
My Rating: 6/10
This PPV feels split in 2 halves. The mediocre start, with 4 matches, and the last 4 which are pretty good. So I think 6 is more than a fair rating for this event.
Match 1: Chris Jericho def. Fandango (8:52)
The way Chris Jericho goes from opening with Fandango on this PPV to stealing the show with CM Punk is a little hilarious. As we all know, Fandango beat Jericho at WrestleMania and gave Fandango a major push… For at least a month. His momentum was basically snuffed out here. This match isn't that much different from the one at WrestleMania. I'd say Jericho is taking Fandango a little more seriously in this match. Fandango sunset flips into a pin, but Jericho gets Fandango in the Walls of Jericho. Fandango reaches the rope and catches Chris with an enziguri and then he goes to the top rope and comes off, jumping into a Codebreaker and then the 3 count.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 2: United States Championship Match - Dean Ambrose def. Kofi Kingston (c) (6:49)
The night the Shield were draped in gold, starting with Ambrose, who back then was considered the leader of the group, which feels wild now. And he was taking on Kofi, who was trapped in mid-card purgatory. A really good match for being as short as it was. They told all the story they needed to and got out of there. Despite the push the Shield were getting, Kofi was no pushover and put up a good fight. Ambrose caught Kofi in a Crossface Chickenwing which made Michael Cole pop for some reason. Big Bob Backlund guy I guess. Kofi escapes, hits a Boom Drop and tries Trouble in Paradise, but Ambrose backs into the corner. Kofi ducks a clothesline and leaps to the middle rope, leaps over Dean, just grazes the the top of his head and hits an SOS. Ambrose nails a suplex from the top rope midway through. Ambrose is dropped over the top rope and lands on the apron, he rams his shoulder into Kofi's gut, but Kofi then hits a Trouble in Paradise, dropping Ambrose to the floor. Kofi drags Dean's limp body back in the ring and pins him. But Dean is too close to the ropes and grabs the bottom. Kofi tries for another Trouble in Paradise, but Dean dodges and Kofi's body bounces off the ropes. Dean picks him back up and hits a Headlock Driver to win the match. Then he gets up and says “give me my fucking belt!” Seth and Roman are in the ring a moment later to celebrate with him. 1 title down, 2 (or 1 depending on how you look at it) to go.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Strap Match - Sheamus def. Mark Henry (8:00)
The worst match of the show in my opinion. This was such a drag. It's the touch 4 corners stipulation. They don't really do anything interesting with the stipulation. There is a story element where Sheamus is gonna struggle to drag Mark around. But nah, they just lumber around the ring connected by a strap. Mark Henry wraps the strap around Sheamus’ ankles and tries to drag him around. But it takes them so long to wrap it around his ankles, I don’t care. The end of the match is Sheamus going around touching the corners, but Mark catches him and attempts to hit him with the World's Strongest Slam. Sheamus lands behind Mark and then Brogue Kicks him, before he touches the 4th corner and wins.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 4: World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contenders I Quit Match - Alberto Del Rio def. Jack Swagger (11:22)
From the worst to the second worst. The match is alright, but it's kinda hard to get any momentum going when the referee is asking them if they wanna quit every 30 seconds. This was supposed to be a Ladder Match including Dolph Ziggler for the World Title. But because Swagger shoot kicked him in the face, Dolph was concussed and removed from the match. And all i have to say is, damn you Jack Swagger! Much like the last match, they don’t really do anything interesting with their stipulation aside from the overbooking towards the end. At the end of the match, Swagger applies the ankle lock on Del Rio and Ricardo considers throwing in the towel for him. Del Rio tells him “no.” But Zeb Colter swings a bucket at Ricardo, who ducks but leaves the towel which Zeb grabs and throws in. Swagger is declared the winner and Ricardo tries explaining to him that it wasn't him who threw it, it was Zeb. It takes a 2nd referee to come out and explain to the first one what happened. Chioda asks to see a replay. He sees Zeb throw the towel in and he declares the match will continue. And JBL says exactly what I was thinking in the moment. “Since when did we start using replays?” So the match restarts, and Swagger tries to bring Del Rio back down into the Ankle Lock, but Alberto escapes and gives Swagger's arm a swift kick before he applies the Cross Armbreaker. Swagger holds on for about a minute before he yells I Quit.
My Rating: **1/2
Match 5: WWE Tag Team Championship Tornado Tag Team Match - The Shield def. Team Hell No (c) (7:24)
What a match to look back on. So much has happened in the 11 years since then. Much like the US Title Match earlier, this was quick and to the point. Seth and Roman are the first to have the momentum, they each take a man and once they have them down, they go back and forth between Kane and Bryan, stomping them into the mat. Roman sits on the top rope and Seth picks Bryan up, sitting him on Roman's shoulders. Roman stands up only for Bryan to counter into a head scissors off the middle rope. Kane sends both Shield members outside and Bryan lands a suicide dive to them both. Kane and Bryan start throwing combo moves. Kane hits a leaping clothesline from the top rope on Seth and Bryan hits a diving headbutt on him next. Bryan brings Roman down into a Yes Lock. Kane stands in Seth's way as he's trying to get back into the ring to save him. Seth hangs Kane up on the top rope and springboards into Bryan to save the match. Seth turns around into a Chokeslam by Kane, whos then Speared by Roman. Roman holds off Team Hell No by himself before he's grabbed by Kane, but Seth springboards inside and knees Kane in the face, allowing Roman to hit Kane with another Spear. Roman covers Kane but Bryan breaks up the pin. Roman grabs Bryan and has him in a Torture Rack, holding him for Seth who springboards into the ring and drops a knee over Bryan. I really have to wonder why more teams don't have that as a finisher. Roman covers Bryan and now every member of The Shield is a champion.
My Rating: ***1/4
Match 6: Extreme Rules Match - Randy Orton def. Big Show (12:57)
Sounds lame on paper, but it wound up being better than expected. The fact that they were in Randy's hometown helped this match I think. This crowd was firmly behind him. So it only makes sense that Big Show would just whoop his ass for several minutes. Orton makes small comebacks here and there and Big Show would keep stopping him in his tracks. Big Show bridges a ladder between 2 sitting chairs and lays Randy on it, planning to Vader Bomb him. But Randy moves and Big Show lands hip first on the ladder. Ow! From now on, it's all Orton. He gives Big Show a draping DDT off the top rope. He hits the RKO and covers Show, who kicks out. Orton starts swinging a chair at Big Show, and Show is able to halt Orton for a moment with a Spear. But as both men return to their feet, Orton RKOs Big Show onto the chair and then for good measure, punts him in the head before he pins him 1, 2, 3. And the crowd goes wild for the hometown boy.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 7: WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match - John Cena (c) vs. Ryback ended in a no contest (23:00)
A match that took a while to get a full head of steam and for that reason, I have it rated lower than I was thinking. But yeah, this was another good match. Cena comes into this match with an injured ankle. A lot of this early on is just all Ryback pushing around Cena and just straight manhandling him. When Cena finally catches a breath, he brings a table into the ring. Unfortunately for him, he's the one who goes through it with a fallaway slam. Ryback continues to just beat John down but Cena manages to knock Ryback out for a moment with the STF. Cena brings another table into the ring and Ryback just grabs him by his neck and slams him face first into the mat. He picks him back up planning to shell shock him through the table, but Cena slides off and AA's Ryback through the table. Ryback gets up and hits the Shell Shock on Cena, who of course gets back up. Ryback wraps Cena's legs around the ring post and plans to smash Cena's ankle with a chair. But Cena kicks the chair back in his face and spears him through the barricade. When both men get back up, they go through the crowd and fight up on to the stage. Cena sprays Ryback down with a fire extinguisher, and I mean all of it. Cena goes to AA Ryback off the stage, but Ryback slides off, picks Cena up and runs with him through the stage set. And then the match is just over because the referee says it is. To be fair, neither of them were moving after that so its safe to call it a draw.
My Rating: ***3/4
Main Event: Steel Cage Match - Brock Lesnar def. Triple H (20:09)
I thought I was gonna be bored watching this to be honest, given their first couple matches were less than stellar. But these 2 finally managed to find their groove in this match. I thought that this was a great match to end the show. Brock comes out first but HHH attacks him from behind and throws him into the cage. Brock gets in the cage before HHH, and HHH climbs up the turnbuckle and comes off with an axe handle. HHH throws Brock into the cage multiple times. But Brock takes the advantage by reversing a Pedigree, and back dropping HHH into the cage. So now its Brock's turn to throw HHH into the cage. But Brock flings himself, attempting to smash HHH into the cage, but HHH dodges and Brock's knee hits the steel. Brock then starts screaming in pain and he takes to Paul outside saying “ah my knee. My knee’s real bad.” Brock gets HHH in the Kimura Lock. But HHH escapes by attacking Lesnar's knee, Brock knocks HHH down with a clothesline and tries to walk out the cage. But HHH clips his knee and then tries to escape it himself. But then Heyman slams the door in his face. HHH walks back into an F5 by a one legged Lesnar. HHH kicks out. Lesnar tells Paul to get him a chair and Brock wails on HHH with it. Brock picks HHH up for another F5, but this time, his knee buckles and HHH goes after that knee the way I go after pizza. HHH puts Brock in the Figure 4, but Lesnar escapes it by turning over. Brock attempts to climb up the cage and get out, but HHH grabs the chair and smashes Brock in the knee with it. HHH knocks Brock off the cage, he smiles and pulls a sledgehammer out from the top of the cage. Brock causes HHH to drop the sledgehammer and goes to use it, but HHH double legs him and puts him in the Sharpshooter. Paul Heyman gets in the ring at this point. To do what, I don't know but he ends up getting Pedigreed, as does Lesnar a moment later. But Lesnar kicks out of that. HHH picks the sledgehammer back up but Heyman has recovered and low blows HHH. Lesnar chuckles and says “that's my manager.” He picks the sledgehammer up and knocks HHH out with it, then to make sure, he picks him back up and hits another F5 for the victory. And to add insult to injury, Brock lays the hammer on HHH's chest and crosses his arms around it. Great match that I think is right in the middle of 4 star territory. I don’t think it deserves any less or more than that.
My Rating: ****
Cagematch Rating: 6.50
My Rating: 6/10
This PPV feels split in 2 halves. The mediocre start, with 4 matches, and the last 4 which are pretty good. So I think 6 is more than a fair rating for this event.
SummerSlam 2023
Match 1: Logan Paul def. Ricochet (18:00)
Opening the show like this felt like such an NXT Takeover way to begin and I loved it, even if it is Logan Paul. I expected nothing less than a fast paced exciting match and that's what we got. Logan Paul is such a natural douche that I'm surprised they ever started him as a babyface. Like he was 1000% douche in this match which makes you want Ricochet to take him down a peg more. First cool spot of the night is when Logan goes for Spanish Fly off the apron, and both men land on their feet, Ricochet then hits one right on the floor. Logan flips out to the floor and buckshot lariets Ricochet perfectly on the floor. Logan rams his shoulder into the ring post as Ricochet dodged and leapt onto the apron. Ricochet brings Paul up to the top turnbuckle and hits a hurricane neckbreaker! Ricochet starts to get the ball rolling and the pace picks up. Logan flips off the ropes, is caught in a powerslam position by Ricochet. But Paul counters with a spinning DDT, spiking Ricochet. Ricochet goes for a 450 splash, but Paul gets his knees up and gets Ricochet in a small package, Paul hits a springboard frog splash for a 2 count. Ricochet then starts building a head of steam but unfortunately misses the 630. Logan Paul lays out near the edge of the ring and someone comes over, slips some brass knuckles on his hand. Paul comes back up and knocks Ricochet’s lights out and conceals his hand as he covers him. The douche of the century wins it.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: Cody Rhodes def. Brock Lesnar (17:29)
They wanted this match out of the way I guess. Can't complain too much. Oh well, while Logan vs Ricochet was made to wow us, this was made to tell a story. Cody tries to attack Brock right out of the gate, but Brock just gets behind Cody and throws him across the ring. Cody hits a few disaster kicks but Brock headbutts Cody in the gut. And so begins the death of Cody Rhodes. Brock starts whooping his ass. And he whoops him for so long that the kid from the Simpsons was telling him to stop cause he's already dead. Brock tosses Cody outside, trying to take a countout victory to embarrass him. But Cody climbs back up on the apron and Brock looks as if he's offended that Cody is coming back to fight. Brock knocks him back off. But Cody crawls back and Lesnar yells at him “this is only gonna get worse!” And indeed, it does get worse, Cody comes back in again and Brock tosses him on the floor with a German suplex and an F5. Cody makes it back in at 9. But suplexes him back out to the floor before he F5s him through the announce table. But Cody barely makes it back in at 9 and that just pisses Brock off. Cody slides down Brock's back and throws him shoulder first into the ring post. Cody starts to mount a comeback after getting his ass kicked for 10 minutes. Cody hits all the classics, a disaster kick, 2 Cody Cutters. He tries to go for Cross Rhodes but Brock counters and brings Cody down into a Kimura Lock. But Cody by sheer will crawls to grab the bottom rope. Cody throws Brock chest first into the exposed turnbuckle and locks in the Kimura on Brock. But Brock stands up and goes for the F5, but Cody slides behind Brock and gives him, 1 Cross Rhodes. 2 Cross Rhodes and 3 Cross Rhodes to conquer his greatest challenge yet. Then after the match, Brock gets back up, takes his gloves him and gets right up in Cody’s face before he sticks his hand out. The two shake hands before Brock pulls him in for a hug, and then raises his hand for all sides of the ring. What a match.
My Rating: ****
Match 3: Slim Jim SummerSlam Battle Royal - LA Knight won by last eliminating Sheamus (12:46)
So after that was wrestling fan’s first glint of hope that LA Knight would get pushed. And it's a pretty good Battle Royal too. With such names as LA Knight and Sheamus of course, AJ Styles, Nakamura, Miz, Chad Gable, and also Omos is there to be big. Gable eliminates Ludwig Kaiser in a very unique way, skinning the cat and head scissoring Ludwig, who had his back turned. Omos eliminates Riddle and Pete Dunne (NOT Butch) Eventually, whatever is left of the field works together to eliminate Omos. The Miz thinks he eliminated LA, only for Knight to throw Miz out from behind. We reach our final 6 of Knight, Sheamus, AJ Styles, Bronson Reed, Chad Gable and Karrion Kross. AJ eliminates Kross with a pele kick, Reed throws Gable over his head to the floor. Knight pulls Reed over with a tight headlock. Styles is throw over but lands on the apron, but Kross comes over, and grabs AJ's foot, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick him out of the match. So now its down to LA and Sheamus. Knight leaps up to the top rope and belly to bellies him to the mat before clotheslining him out and receiving a huge pop.
My Rating: ***
Match 4: MMA Rules - Shayna Baszler def. Ronda Rousey via referee’s decision (7:26)
I had purposefully skipped this show, knowing I would eventually watch it anyway, so I'd only heard about how bad this was. First time viewer and my opinion is that this is really lame. Its not even that bad, its just really lame. It doesn't even feel like an MMA match because wheres the octagon? Where's the cage? They built one for Shamrock and Owen, you can't build one for Shayna and Ronda? And besides that, I don’t even care for MMA. If I wanted to watch MMA, I'd go watch MMA. The transitions into different counters was nice but then midway through, you have doctors coming in to check on Shayna, and Ronda starts chucking them away. So the end of this match is Shayna escaping an armbar and making Ronda “pass out” even though she was sitting up a moment later. This should've been more but it just wasn't.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Gunther (c) def. Drew McIntyre (13:43)
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled program. Two tough hosses beating the shit out of each other. Logan Paul and Ricochet started us off quick and exciting, Brock and Cody was a great david vs goliath story, this is just 2 goliaths fucking each other up. Gunther back drops Drew back first across the steel steps and goes after his back in addition to turning Drew's chest red with his bare hands. They start throwing hard chops at each other and. Gunther ducks under a Claymore and dropkicks Drew into the corner before he picks him up for a Powerbomb. But Drew lands on his feet, powerbombs Gunther before dropping him with a Future Shock DDT. Drew goes for the Claymore again but Gunther rolls out of the ring, only for Drew to dive over the ropes into him and land on his feet! Drew gets met with a dropkick by Gunther as he gets in the ring, Gunther picks him up and Powerbombs him before he goes up and hits a splash for a 2 count. Gunther then starts to slap Drew in the head and goes to chop him, but Drew catches Gunther's hand. Drew lights up Gunther, who in turn lights him up before they just start trading clotheslines! Drew ducks under one and bounces off the ropes to finally hit the Claymore! Gunther kicks out though and Drew has this glassy look in his eyes. Drew puts Gunther up on the top rope and goes to suplex him off, but Gunther shoves Drew off, crotch first on the top rope. Drew falls into the mat. And Gunther hits a triple header on him, a big splash, a clothesline and a powerbomb. Gunther retains after a hard fought battle! God dayumn!
My Rating: ****1/4
Match 6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Seth Rollins (c) def. Finn Balor (18:27)
So far, we've had 3 matches at least 4 stars. That is a rarity for in WWE PPV or PLEs. But all 3 of them have nothing on this classic. I absolutely love this match! This felt like a match that was 7 years in the making and they made sure to keep saying that. They had other matches between that time, but none of them had the intensity or the feeling of hatred that this one did. Finn comes out with the word 7 painted on the shoulder Seth injured. And Seth came out… Holy shit, with the vest he wore to the ring on that night. I love everything they do even before the bell. Seth throws the vest in Finn's face during introductions. Finn stares at it, tosses it outside and attacks Seth. We have a fight before the bell even rings. One detail I noticed that I'm shocked they didn't mention was how Finn went after Seth's shoulder early in the match. Seth hits 3 suicide dives to Finn on the outside and apparently busts Finn's mouth up. Finn rams Seth shoulder first into the ring post. And as a form of poetic justice, Finn powerbombs Seth into the barricade as Seth did to him in 2016. The match gets really tuned up a notch as Finn goes the dropkick into the corner and faces a superkick from Seth. Seth picks Finn up off the mat and throws him into 1 corner, picks him back up and does it again in another before he climbs the ropes again for a frog splash. Seth goes to stomp Finn, but Finn scissors Seth's waist, rolls forward and double stomps Seth's torso. Finn then dropkicks Seth and goes up for the Coup de Grace, but Seth meets him up there and hits the suplex, Falcon Arrow combo. Finn goes for it again, misses him and Seth Pedigrees him into the mat for a 2 count. Then after that, Damian Priest makes his way down with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Priest delivers a punch to the jaw as the referee isn't looking and Finn then hits a Pedigree! Seth kicks out. Rhea and Dom come out from the crowd to distract the referee as Priest slides the briefcase in the ring. But Finn, apparently doesn't wanna use it. Seth knocks Damian off the apron, Finn rolls Seth up from behind, but Seth rolls back and Stomps Finn's face into the mat. But Finn kicks out! Seth goes up top, apparently for a Phoenix Splash, but leaps off to hit Damian instead. He superkicks Dom and Curb Stomps him before he comes back to get slingbladed, dropkicked in the corner and Finn nails the Coup de Grace for a 2 count. Now in his desperation, Finn wants to use the briefcase, so Priest, looking like the most annoyed big brother in the world, slides it in and distracts the referee. Finn goes to grab it, but Seth has gotten back up and Curb Stomps him face first into the case for the 3 count. What. A. Match!
My Rating: ****1/2
Match 7: WWE Women's Championship Triple Threat Match - Bianca Belair def. Asuka (c) & Charlotte Flair (20:45)
After 4 bangers, you kind of expect this one to follow suit. It's good. Just not as good as the aforementioned matches before it. They pretty much just hit their moves and take it home. The only semblance of a story is Bianca Belair when she hurts her knee. The crowd was also burnt out at this point, which didn't help it. They don't really do anything to get them into it either. We get a little moment where Charlotte and Bianca go at it which was cool since we've never really gotten that match on a big stage one on one. Bianca tweaks her knee midway through the match and it only gets worse as Charlotte throws her over the ropes into the steps. They never show us what hit but we hear a thud, and then Bianca clutches her knee and screams in pain. It becomes a one on one match between Asuka and Charlotte for a bit. Asuka suplexes Charlotte off the top rope, but Charlotte comes back and Spears Asuka. Charlotte locks Asuka in the Figure 8. Bianca starts hopping back to the ring and climbs the ropes, hits a 450 on Charlotte to break it up and also pin her. Charlotte locks Bianca in the Figure 8 and Asuka saves it by spewing mist in Charlotte's face. With the Figure 4 still on Bianca, she pulls Asuka down into a small package to pull off the win. Bad knee and all. Unfortunately for her, that bad knee makes her easy pickings for…
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 8: WWE Women's Championship Match - Iyo Sky def. Bianca Belair (c) (0:10)
Iyo Sky and Bayley run to the ring. Bayley clocks both Charlotte and Asuka with the briefcase. Iyo takes Bianca's knee out with the briefcase, before clocking her in the face. She cashes in, the bell rings, picture perfect moonsault and Iyo Sky is the WWE Women's Champion!
Main Event: Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Tribal Combat Match - Roman Reigns (c) def. Jey Uso (36:04)
And to think, we were this close to having a near perfect event. To think they almost stuck the landing. My expectations were high in the build up, I was expecting a classic. This had everything, a good story, 3 years of buildup. I’m not even mad that Jey cause I never expected him to. But this was boring. Good lord it was so boring. They tried to carry the match on the storytelling, but after about 20 minutes where they do fuck all, I just didn't care anymore. It's just proof that not every main event needs to be over half an hour. Gunther and Drew went less than half that time and it was the 2nd best match of the show. Admittedly, Roman hitting the Superman punch out of the crossbody was pretty cool. Jey hits a splash that Roman out of at like 2.99999. Roman powerbombs Jey into a few chairs. Jey samoan drops Roman through a table. And then he pulls a leather strap from under the ring and whips the hell out of Roman with it. Roman tries to escape through the crowd, but Jey follows him out. But Solo Sikoa was out there and after putting Jey through a table, Solo drags him back towards the ring. Roman and Solo try the Samoan Spike/Spear combo, but Jey pulls Solo into Roman's path and Solo gets Speared. And then Jey gives a Spear to Roman. Jey picks up a chair and starts going to town with it on both Roman and Solo. They tease Solo turning on Roman, and their brief interaction allows Jey to Spear Roman through the barricade. Jey splashes Solo through the table and Jey throws Roman back in the ring. He Spears him again and Jey hits a big splash on Roman. 1, 2… Jey gets pulled out of the ring by none other than his brudda, Jimmy Uso. Jimmy superkicks Jey and throws him back inside. Roman is confused as hell but he pulls himself out of his confusion to Spear Jey through a table in the corner and win the match. I'm making this match sound awesome. And it was getting good towards the end. But that doesn’t account for the first 25 minutes of bullshit I had to sit through. SummerSlam 2023 was this close.
My Rating: **3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.53
My Rating: 9.5/10
I know I ragged on the main event, but are we really going to judge this event mostly on that? 6.53 for this show? Really? Let's talk about this shows cons, the MMA match was bad but also short. The main event was long and boring. Now let's talk about this shows pros which was EVERYTHING ELSE. This show provided us with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 fantastic matches. How many WWE PPVs can you name that gave us that much? Not only that, but LA Knight's push was beginning and Iyo Sky won the Women's Title. How can this event be as low as it is is wild to me. One of the best SummerSlams of all time.
Match 1: Logan Paul def. Ricochet (18:00)
Opening the show like this felt like such an NXT Takeover way to begin and I loved it, even if it is Logan Paul. I expected nothing less than a fast paced exciting match and that's what we got. Logan Paul is such a natural douche that I'm surprised they ever started him as a babyface. Like he was 1000% douche in this match which makes you want Ricochet to take him down a peg more. First cool spot of the night is when Logan goes for Spanish Fly off the apron, and both men land on their feet, Ricochet then hits one right on the floor. Logan flips out to the floor and buckshot lariets Ricochet perfectly on the floor. Logan rams his shoulder into the ring post as Ricochet dodged and leapt onto the apron. Ricochet brings Paul up to the top turnbuckle and hits a hurricane neckbreaker! Ricochet starts to get the ball rolling and the pace picks up. Logan flips off the ropes, is caught in a powerslam position by Ricochet. But Paul counters with a spinning DDT, spiking Ricochet. Ricochet goes for a 450 splash, but Paul gets his knees up and gets Ricochet in a small package, Paul hits a springboard frog splash for a 2 count. Ricochet then starts building a head of steam but unfortunately misses the 630. Logan Paul lays out near the edge of the ring and someone comes over, slips some brass knuckles on his hand. Paul comes back up and knocks Ricochet’s lights out and conceals his hand as he covers him. The douche of the century wins it.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: Cody Rhodes def. Brock Lesnar (17:29)
They wanted this match out of the way I guess. Can't complain too much. Oh well, while Logan vs Ricochet was made to wow us, this was made to tell a story. Cody tries to attack Brock right out of the gate, but Brock just gets behind Cody and throws him across the ring. Cody hits a few disaster kicks but Brock headbutts Cody in the gut. And so begins the death of Cody Rhodes. Brock starts whooping his ass. And he whoops him for so long that the kid from the Simpsons was telling him to stop cause he's already dead. Brock tosses Cody outside, trying to take a countout victory to embarrass him. But Cody climbs back up on the apron and Brock looks as if he's offended that Cody is coming back to fight. Brock knocks him back off. But Cody crawls back and Lesnar yells at him “this is only gonna get worse!” And indeed, it does get worse, Cody comes back in again and Brock tosses him on the floor with a German suplex and an F5. Cody makes it back in at 9. But suplexes him back out to the floor before he F5s him through the announce table. But Cody barely makes it back in at 9 and that just pisses Brock off. Cody slides down Brock's back and throws him shoulder first into the ring post. Cody starts to mount a comeback after getting his ass kicked for 10 minutes. Cody hits all the classics, a disaster kick, 2 Cody Cutters. He tries to go for Cross Rhodes but Brock counters and brings Cody down into a Kimura Lock. But Cody by sheer will crawls to grab the bottom rope. Cody throws Brock chest first into the exposed turnbuckle and locks in the Kimura on Brock. But Brock stands up and goes for the F5, but Cody slides behind Brock and gives him, 1 Cross Rhodes. 2 Cross Rhodes and 3 Cross Rhodes to conquer his greatest challenge yet. Then after the match, Brock gets back up, takes his gloves him and gets right up in Cody’s face before he sticks his hand out. The two shake hands before Brock pulls him in for a hug, and then raises his hand for all sides of the ring. What a match.
My Rating: ****
Match 3: Slim Jim SummerSlam Battle Royal - LA Knight won by last eliminating Sheamus (12:46)
So after that was wrestling fan’s first glint of hope that LA Knight would get pushed. And it's a pretty good Battle Royal too. With such names as LA Knight and Sheamus of course, AJ Styles, Nakamura, Miz, Chad Gable, and also Omos is there to be big. Gable eliminates Ludwig Kaiser in a very unique way, skinning the cat and head scissoring Ludwig, who had his back turned. Omos eliminates Riddle and Pete Dunne (NOT Butch) Eventually, whatever is left of the field works together to eliminate Omos. The Miz thinks he eliminated LA, only for Knight to throw Miz out from behind. We reach our final 6 of Knight, Sheamus, AJ Styles, Bronson Reed, Chad Gable and Karrion Kross. AJ eliminates Kross with a pele kick, Reed throws Gable over his head to the floor. Knight pulls Reed over with a tight headlock. Styles is throw over but lands on the apron, but Kross comes over, and grabs AJ's foot, allowing Sheamus to Brogue Kick him out of the match. So now its down to LA and Sheamus. Knight leaps up to the top rope and belly to bellies him to the mat before clotheslining him out and receiving a huge pop.
My Rating: ***
Match 4: MMA Rules - Shayna Baszler def. Ronda Rousey via referee’s decision (7:26)
I had purposefully skipped this show, knowing I would eventually watch it anyway, so I'd only heard about how bad this was. First time viewer and my opinion is that this is really lame. Its not even that bad, its just really lame. It doesn't even feel like an MMA match because wheres the octagon? Where's the cage? They built one for Shamrock and Owen, you can't build one for Shayna and Ronda? And besides that, I don’t even care for MMA. If I wanted to watch MMA, I'd go watch MMA. The transitions into different counters was nice but then midway through, you have doctors coming in to check on Shayna, and Ronda starts chucking them away. So the end of this match is Shayna escaping an armbar and making Ronda “pass out” even though she was sitting up a moment later. This should've been more but it just wasn't.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Gunther (c) def. Drew McIntyre (13:43)
And now we return you to your regularly scheduled program. Two tough hosses beating the shit out of each other. Logan Paul and Ricochet started us off quick and exciting, Brock and Cody was a great david vs goliath story, this is just 2 goliaths fucking each other up. Gunther back drops Drew back first across the steel steps and goes after his back in addition to turning Drew's chest red with his bare hands. They start throwing hard chops at each other and. Gunther ducks under a Claymore and dropkicks Drew into the corner before he picks him up for a Powerbomb. But Drew lands on his feet, powerbombs Gunther before dropping him with a Future Shock DDT. Drew goes for the Claymore again but Gunther rolls out of the ring, only for Drew to dive over the ropes into him and land on his feet! Drew gets met with a dropkick by Gunther as he gets in the ring, Gunther picks him up and Powerbombs him before he goes up and hits a splash for a 2 count. Gunther then starts to slap Drew in the head and goes to chop him, but Drew catches Gunther's hand. Drew lights up Gunther, who in turn lights him up before they just start trading clotheslines! Drew ducks under one and bounces off the ropes to finally hit the Claymore! Gunther kicks out though and Drew has this glassy look in his eyes. Drew puts Gunther up on the top rope and goes to suplex him off, but Gunther shoves Drew off, crotch first on the top rope. Drew falls into the mat. And Gunther hits a triple header on him, a big splash, a clothesline and a powerbomb. Gunther retains after a hard fought battle! God dayumn!
My Rating: ****1/4
Match 6: World Heavyweight Championship Match - Seth Rollins (c) def. Finn Balor (18:27)
So far, we've had 3 matches at least 4 stars. That is a rarity for in WWE PPV or PLEs. But all 3 of them have nothing on this classic. I absolutely love this match! This felt like a match that was 7 years in the making and they made sure to keep saying that. They had other matches between that time, but none of them had the intensity or the feeling of hatred that this one did. Finn comes out with the word 7 painted on the shoulder Seth injured. And Seth came out… Holy shit, with the vest he wore to the ring on that night. I love everything they do even before the bell. Seth throws the vest in Finn's face during introductions. Finn stares at it, tosses it outside and attacks Seth. We have a fight before the bell even rings. One detail I noticed that I'm shocked they didn't mention was how Finn went after Seth's shoulder early in the match. Seth hits 3 suicide dives to Finn on the outside and apparently busts Finn's mouth up. Finn rams Seth shoulder first into the ring post. And as a form of poetic justice, Finn powerbombs Seth into the barricade as Seth did to him in 2016. The match gets really tuned up a notch as Finn goes the dropkick into the corner and faces a superkick from Seth. Seth picks Finn up off the mat and throws him into 1 corner, picks him back up and does it again in another before he climbs the ropes again for a frog splash. Seth goes to stomp Finn, but Finn scissors Seth's waist, rolls forward and double stomps Seth's torso. Finn then dropkicks Seth and goes up for the Coup de Grace, but Seth meets him up there and hits the suplex, Falcon Arrow combo. Finn goes for it again, misses him and Seth Pedigrees him into the mat for a 2 count. Then after that, Damian Priest makes his way down with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Priest delivers a punch to the jaw as the referee isn't looking and Finn then hits a Pedigree! Seth kicks out. Rhea and Dom come out from the crowd to distract the referee as Priest slides the briefcase in the ring. But Finn, apparently doesn't wanna use it. Seth knocks Damian off the apron, Finn rolls Seth up from behind, but Seth rolls back and Stomps Finn's face into the mat. But Finn kicks out! Seth goes up top, apparently for a Phoenix Splash, but leaps off to hit Damian instead. He superkicks Dom and Curb Stomps him before he comes back to get slingbladed, dropkicked in the corner and Finn nails the Coup de Grace for a 2 count. Now in his desperation, Finn wants to use the briefcase, so Priest, looking like the most annoyed big brother in the world, slides it in and distracts the referee. Finn goes to grab it, but Seth has gotten back up and Curb Stomps him face first into the case for the 3 count. What. A. Match!
My Rating: ****1/2
Match 7: WWE Women's Championship Triple Threat Match - Bianca Belair def. Asuka (c) & Charlotte Flair (20:45)
After 4 bangers, you kind of expect this one to follow suit. It's good. Just not as good as the aforementioned matches before it. They pretty much just hit their moves and take it home. The only semblance of a story is Bianca Belair when she hurts her knee. The crowd was also burnt out at this point, which didn't help it. They don't really do anything to get them into it either. We get a little moment where Charlotte and Bianca go at it which was cool since we've never really gotten that match on a big stage one on one. Bianca tweaks her knee midway through the match and it only gets worse as Charlotte throws her over the ropes into the steps. They never show us what hit but we hear a thud, and then Bianca clutches her knee and screams in pain. It becomes a one on one match between Asuka and Charlotte for a bit. Asuka suplexes Charlotte off the top rope, but Charlotte comes back and Spears Asuka. Charlotte locks Asuka in the Figure 8. Bianca starts hopping back to the ring and climbs the ropes, hits a 450 on Charlotte to break it up and also pin her. Charlotte locks Bianca in the Figure 8 and Asuka saves it by spewing mist in Charlotte's face. With the Figure 4 still on Bianca, she pulls Asuka down into a small package to pull off the win. Bad knee and all. Unfortunately for her, that bad knee makes her easy pickings for…
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 8: WWE Women's Championship Match - Iyo Sky def. Bianca Belair (c) (0:10)
Iyo Sky and Bayley run to the ring. Bayley clocks both Charlotte and Asuka with the briefcase. Iyo takes Bianca's knee out with the briefcase, before clocking her in the face. She cashes in, the bell rings, picture perfect moonsault and Iyo Sky is the WWE Women's Champion!
Main Event: Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Tribal Combat Match - Roman Reigns (c) def. Jey Uso (36:04)
And to think, we were this close to having a near perfect event. To think they almost stuck the landing. My expectations were high in the build up, I was expecting a classic. This had everything, a good story, 3 years of buildup. I’m not even mad that Jey cause I never expected him to. But this was boring. Good lord it was so boring. They tried to carry the match on the storytelling, but after about 20 minutes where they do fuck all, I just didn't care anymore. It's just proof that not every main event needs to be over half an hour. Gunther and Drew went less than half that time and it was the 2nd best match of the show. Admittedly, Roman hitting the Superman punch out of the crossbody was pretty cool. Jey hits a splash that Roman out of at like 2.99999. Roman powerbombs Jey into a few chairs. Jey samoan drops Roman through a table. And then he pulls a leather strap from under the ring and whips the hell out of Roman with it. Roman tries to escape through the crowd, but Jey follows him out. But Solo Sikoa was out there and after putting Jey through a table, Solo drags him back towards the ring. Roman and Solo try the Samoan Spike/Spear combo, but Jey pulls Solo into Roman's path and Solo gets Speared. And then Jey gives a Spear to Roman. Jey picks up a chair and starts going to town with it on both Roman and Solo. They tease Solo turning on Roman, and their brief interaction allows Jey to Spear Roman through the barricade. Jey splashes Solo through the table and Jey throws Roman back in the ring. He Spears him again and Jey hits a big splash on Roman. 1, 2… Jey gets pulled out of the ring by none other than his brudda, Jimmy Uso. Jimmy superkicks Jey and throws him back inside. Roman is confused as hell but he pulls himself out of his confusion to Spear Jey through a table in the corner and win the match. I'm making this match sound awesome. And it was getting good towards the end. But that doesn’t account for the first 25 minutes of bullshit I had to sit through. SummerSlam 2023 was this close.
My Rating: **3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.53
My Rating: 9.5/10
I know I ragged on the main event, but are we really going to judge this event mostly on that? 6.53 for this show? Really? Let's talk about this shows cons, the MMA match was bad but also short. The main event was long and boring. Now let's talk about this shows pros which was EVERYTHING ELSE. This show provided us with not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 fantastic matches. How many WWE PPVs can you name that gave us that much? Not only that, but LA Knight's push was beginning and Iyo Sky won the Women's Title. How can this event be as low as it is is wild to me. One of the best SummerSlams of all time.
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I'm surprised you didn't hate the finish of the women's triple threat as much as I did and still do. WWE were telling me that Bianca, with no knees, (1) was able to hit a 450 Splash and (2) was able to survive for ever in the Figure Eight before Asuka got into position. Feels like that finish got nobody over in any way and it's only the cash-in that saved it
I did think that was pretty funny. But it's wrestling, so any physical leaps in logic I usually just look past. Like how people wrestle with injured ribs all the time. You ain't doing shit with injured ribs lol
Battleground 2015
Match 1: Randy Orton def. Sheamus (16:54)
Starting the night off mild. I thought this was a fine match but that's about it. Its not exactly how I would've thought for an opener. There's a lot of fist exchanging but not really engaging ones. I was just never really pulled into the match. It's a back and forth match and about halfway through it, Orton backdrops Sheamus onto the announce table before throwing him back in. Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, but Orton dodges and hits a Powerslam. Sheamus later on goes for the Brogue Kick again and misses again. Orton goes for the RKO and Sheamus shoves him off into the ropes. They have each other’s finishing moves scouted. Orton hits a superplex on Sheamus before he sends him through the ropes and hits a draping DDT. Orton starts hitting the mat and sets Sheamus up for an RKO. But Sheamus drops and rolls Orton up from behind. Orton kicks out only, to finally get hit with the Brogue Kick. That Sheamus annoyingly fell down after and didn’t cover him. Only for him to put Orton in a cloverleaf. Orton is in the hold for a solid minute before he reaches the ropes. Sheamus drags him back to the center and picks Orton back up. Only for Orton to hit an RKO, turning Sheamus over and pinning him to win the match. Oh yeah, and this was a month after Sheamus won Money in the Bank by the way, so good start to that for him. It’s kinda funny actually.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - The Prime Time Players (c) def. The New Day (Kofi & Big E.) (8:50)
The most entertaining thing about this match is Xavier Woods just yelling shit on the outside. If I were Vince, I would’ve just put the titles back on them right here just because they were entertaining. Prime Time Players get off to a good start. Titus chops the hell out of Kofi like 3 times. These were such loud chops. Big E. gets tagged in and Titus hits him with a legdrop and Woods yells outside “worst legdrop ever!” Darren Young comes in and E. whips him into their corner and Darren takes the Triple H bump over the top rope. E. and Kofi keep Darren Young away from his corner and Woods does not stop talking this entire time and I actually love it. E. hits Darren with a back elbow and Woods yells “He’s taking him out with the tricep meat!” Titus after a bit gets tagged back in and he bowls over both members of New Day until Woods gets on the apron and kicks Titus in the back of the head, before Kofi hits him with a DDT. Titus tags Kofi back in and Darren goes ham on not just Kofi and E. but Woods as well with a back drop across the apron. Darren comes back in to get a roundhouse kick from Kofi and New Day set him up for the Midnight Hour, but Darren slides off E’s back and shoves him into Kofi, leaps into Darren, only to get Gut Checked out of the ring. Darren tags Titus back in, and Titus finishes it off with a sit out spinebuster.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 3: Bray Wyatt def. Roman Reigns (22:05)
An overlooked match. I wasn’t expecting much from this match, I never see anyone talk about it. But I thought this match was good. It doesn’t have much as far as action is concerned, but they paint a clear picture and a clear story where Roman comes in hot as he always does, but Bray is a smarter wrestler than that even if his offense consists mainly of throwing his own body at his opponents. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. One of the first times in the match where we see Bray outsmart Roman is when he’s standing outside and Roman takes a jog all the way to the other side of the ring and tries to Spear Bray, who sidesteps and Roman gets face first into the steel stairs. Bray faceplants Roman on the apron which looked nice. Bray holds Roman down for a few minutes before Roman begins to come back and starts to put Bray on the ropes. He goes for the drive-by but Bray clotheslines him out of the air. They have each other’s best moves scouted a few times and Roman is the first one to hit one with a superman punch. (of course he had to cock it first). Roman sets up a Spear, and when he runs at Bray, Bray just kicks him square in the face. It halts Roman for a second before he roars and runs at him again, only for Bray to knock him down with a hard clothesline! Bray always had one of the most underrated clotheslines. Bray goes for Sister Abigail, but Roman escapes and samoan drops Bray out of the ring. Now I’m not too crazy about this finish. Bray starts grabbing chairs, only for Roman to take the chairs and toss them into the ring and then he throws in two more for the hell of it. What exactly was he planning here? It’s not like the match was No DQ and he’s been very clearly trying to win the match this whole time. But the referee’s back is turned and Solo Siko… I mean, Luke Harper in a hoodie shoves Roman into the ring post, gives him a superkick. Bray uranages Roman on the ring apron and hits Sister Abigail to win the match. I still think this match went too long, but either way, it was enjoyable.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 4: Triple Threat Match - Charlotte def. Sasha Banks & Brie Bella (11:30)
WWE had the chance to do the most frustratingly funny thing ever. Imagine if they built up Charlotte and Sasha (along with Becky) all week only to have Brie win this match. Charlotte had Paige and Becky in her corner, Sasha had Naomi and Tamina and Brie had her sister and Alicia in her corner. The match is decent but I’m not crazy about it. I will say though, a women’s match like this on main roster WWE at the time was definitely a step up. Charlotte and Sasha are the two who put in the most work here. Although this is probably one of Brie’s better matches. About midway through the match, Brie falls to the outside and are helped back up by Nikki and Alicia, only for Team BAD and PCB to surround them. Brie gets back up on the apron and Sasha dropkicks her back into Nikki and Fox, who mainly catch her bottom half and nearly drop her on her head because of it. Thankfully, they were able to get enough of a hold on her top half that that didn’t happen but holy shit. Sasha dives through the ropes into Paige, Becky and Brie outside and as Naomi and Tamina are trying to get Sasha up, Charlotte leaps over the ropes herself. Must have been before she started doing moonsaults. Charlotte brings Brie back into the ring and Sasha comes up from behind and gets Charlotte into the Bank Statement. But Brie grabs Sasha and throws her into the ring post. Brie picks Charlotte up and goes for an X-Factor, but Charlotte catches Brie and turns it into a powerbomb before she puts Brie in the Figure 8 to make her tap out.
My Rating: ***
Match 5: United States Championship Match - John Cena (c) def. Kevin Owens (22:11)
I can’t for the life of me figure out why this seems to be the black sheep of their trilogy because this match was amazing! They had two great matches at previous PPVs and knew each other pretty well at this point. And god damn this was a classic. I’d say the match turned up a gear was when Owens simply moved out of the way of Cena’s 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Don’t know why more people don’t do that. Owens slams Cena’s face into the corner before he goes up for a swanton, that Cena gets his knees up for. Owens however starts hitting Cena’s 5 moves moves of doom on him! Shoulder tackle, shoulder tackle, side slam, 5 knuckle shuffle. He goes for the finishing touch but Cena slides off Owens’ shoulders and picks him up in an electric chair, and drops him face first before locking in the STF. Owens manages to escape. Cena goes for the springboard stunner, but KO catches him by the waist and hits a german suplex! They start exchanging in fisticuffs but Cena breaks out a yoshi-tonic for a 2 count. Cena goes for the diving legdrop off the top rope but KO catches him in a powerbomb. After Cena kicks out. Owens goes to pick him back up, but Cena gets up and hits a big AA for a 2 count. Cena takes him to the top rope and whatever Cena was going for is countered by Owens who hits a fisherman buster from the second rope. KO tries for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Cena reverses it into a hurricanrana, Cena picks up Owens for an AA, but Owens slides up and rocks Cena off the ropes with a superkick. Owens picks up Cena and now hits the AA that he tried earlier and then he locks Cena in the STF to add extra salt. Cena hits the springboard stunner, only for Owens to come back with a clothesline. Owens attempts the Pop-Up Powerbomb again, but Cena lands on the other side of Owens on his feet and hits another AA. That Owens kicks out of again! So KO has now kicked out of 2 AAs. Cena bounces off the ropes and Owens now hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb that Cena kicks out of now. Owens goes up to the top, only for Cena to meet him up there and hit a 3rd massive AA. And surely thats it. 1, 2… KICKOUT?!?! A much weaker kickout, but a kickout nonetheless. Cena just sits in shock. Man looks like he just got the worst diagnosis from his personal doctor. Cena goes to pick KO back up. Owens pulls him into a small package, Cena kicks out and picks Owens’ leg before he puts him in the STF. Owens hangs on for a while but taps out. Me personally, I love this match. I thought it was awesome. I can understand how people would hate KO kicking out of 3 AAs, but I thought the execution was good. Because it doesn’t look like Owens had much fight left in him after that. If he had hopped back up and started fighting like he hadn’t just been wrestling for 20 minutes, then I might have had a problem, but I thought this was a good way to do it. And if you had an issue with him tapping out, Owens kicked out of 3 AAs, one of which was off the top rope. They clearly had big plans for him and he was more than fine after this.
My Rating: ****3/4
Main Event: WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match - Seth Rollins (c) vs. Brock Lesnar ended in a no contest (9:00)
This match showed signs that it was going to be good, but mostly, this was pretty much what I expected it to be. This was just after Suplex City became a thing and so I did like how Seth was fighting like hell to avoid the first one. Seth tries to attack Brock’s legs, but Brock catches him and goes for the F5, but Seth escapes to the apron and comes off the top rope. Only for Brock to catch him by his waist and toss him with a german suplex. After 5 suplexes, Seth tries to escape through the crowd with his championship, but Brock hurdles the barricade and no joke, I thought he was going to german Seth on the fucking concrete for a second. But Brock tosses him back over the barricade to continue the beating. Seth starts eventually to make a comeback, taking Brock out by the legs, and making him eat many superkicks. Seth tries for a pedigree, but Brock catches him in an F5 position. Seth escapes again, kicks Brock’s knee and knees him in the back sending him out of the ring. Seth hits a couple suicide dives, but Brock runs back in on the third attempt and catches him to hit a belly to belly. Lesnar hits Seth with at least 13 German suplexes in this match. Brock slaps Seth before throwing him again. Seth slaps Brock from the ground and Brock just grins before he throws Seth again and drops him with an F5. And on the count of 2 from the referee, a gong sounds off and the lights go out. And when they come back on, Undertaker is in the ring and Seth is nowhere to be seen. Undertaker kicks Lesnar in the dick and chokeslams him. Then proceeds to give him 2 Tombstones, laying out Lesnar in the ring before he leaves. Kind of a lame finish. Mostly because I was expecting it. Not specifically Undertaker, but I didn’t think Seth was losing the title but no way was he beating Brock Lesnar. So I wondered, “how is this match not gonna have a finish?”
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.53
My Rating: 8/10
I don’t know about guys, but I thought this show was good. It didn't blow me away or anything, but I thought it was really good, the US Title Match was absolutely stellar. I'd say the biggest issue here was that the worst match was the main event. Which had a predictable non-finish. Other than that, I don't have a problem with this event.
Match 1: Randy Orton def. Sheamus (16:54)
Starting the night off mild. I thought this was a fine match but that's about it. Its not exactly how I would've thought for an opener. There's a lot of fist exchanging but not really engaging ones. I was just never really pulled into the match. It's a back and forth match and about halfway through it, Orton backdrops Sheamus onto the announce table before throwing him back in. Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, but Orton dodges and hits a Powerslam. Sheamus later on goes for the Brogue Kick again and misses again. Orton goes for the RKO and Sheamus shoves him off into the ropes. They have each other’s finishing moves scouted. Orton hits a superplex on Sheamus before he sends him through the ropes and hits a draping DDT. Orton starts hitting the mat and sets Sheamus up for an RKO. But Sheamus drops and rolls Orton up from behind. Orton kicks out only, to finally get hit with the Brogue Kick. That Sheamus annoyingly fell down after and didn’t cover him. Only for him to put Orton in a cloverleaf. Orton is in the hold for a solid minute before he reaches the ropes. Sheamus drags him back to the center and picks Orton back up. Only for Orton to hit an RKO, turning Sheamus over and pinning him to win the match. Oh yeah, and this was a month after Sheamus won Money in the Bank by the way, so good start to that for him. It’s kinda funny actually.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship Match - The Prime Time Players (c) def. The New Day (Kofi & Big E.) (8:50)
The most entertaining thing about this match is Xavier Woods just yelling shit on the outside. If I were Vince, I would’ve just put the titles back on them right here just because they were entertaining. Prime Time Players get off to a good start. Titus chops the hell out of Kofi like 3 times. These were such loud chops. Big E. gets tagged in and Titus hits him with a legdrop and Woods yells outside “worst legdrop ever!” Darren Young comes in and E. whips him into their corner and Darren takes the Triple H bump over the top rope. E. and Kofi keep Darren Young away from his corner and Woods does not stop talking this entire time and I actually love it. E. hits Darren with a back elbow and Woods yells “He’s taking him out with the tricep meat!” Titus after a bit gets tagged back in and he bowls over both members of New Day until Woods gets on the apron and kicks Titus in the back of the head, before Kofi hits him with a DDT. Titus tags Kofi back in and Darren goes ham on not just Kofi and E. but Woods as well with a back drop across the apron. Darren comes back in to get a roundhouse kick from Kofi and New Day set him up for the Midnight Hour, but Darren slides off E’s back and shoves him into Kofi, leaps into Darren, only to get Gut Checked out of the ring. Darren tags Titus back in, and Titus finishes it off with a sit out spinebuster.
My Rating: **3/4
Match 3: Bray Wyatt def. Roman Reigns (22:05)
An overlooked match. I wasn’t expecting much from this match, I never see anyone talk about it. But I thought this match was good. It doesn’t have much as far as action is concerned, but they paint a clear picture and a clear story where Roman comes in hot as he always does, but Bray is a smarter wrestler than that even if his offense consists mainly of throwing his own body at his opponents. Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. One of the first times in the match where we see Bray outsmart Roman is when he’s standing outside and Roman takes a jog all the way to the other side of the ring and tries to Spear Bray, who sidesteps and Roman gets face first into the steel stairs. Bray faceplants Roman on the apron which looked nice. Bray holds Roman down for a few minutes before Roman begins to come back and starts to put Bray on the ropes. He goes for the drive-by but Bray clotheslines him out of the air. They have each other’s best moves scouted a few times and Roman is the first one to hit one with a superman punch. (of course he had to cock it first). Roman sets up a Spear, and when he runs at Bray, Bray just kicks him square in the face. It halts Roman for a second before he roars and runs at him again, only for Bray to knock him down with a hard clothesline! Bray always had one of the most underrated clotheslines. Bray goes for Sister Abigail, but Roman escapes and samoan drops Bray out of the ring. Now I’m not too crazy about this finish. Bray starts grabbing chairs, only for Roman to take the chairs and toss them into the ring and then he throws in two more for the hell of it. What exactly was he planning here? It’s not like the match was No DQ and he’s been very clearly trying to win the match this whole time. But the referee’s back is turned and Solo Siko… I mean, Luke Harper in a hoodie shoves Roman into the ring post, gives him a superkick. Bray uranages Roman on the ring apron and hits Sister Abigail to win the match. I still think this match went too long, but either way, it was enjoyable.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 4: Triple Threat Match - Charlotte def. Sasha Banks & Brie Bella (11:30)
WWE had the chance to do the most frustratingly funny thing ever. Imagine if they built up Charlotte and Sasha (along with Becky) all week only to have Brie win this match. Charlotte had Paige and Becky in her corner, Sasha had Naomi and Tamina and Brie had her sister and Alicia in her corner. The match is decent but I’m not crazy about it. I will say though, a women’s match like this on main roster WWE at the time was definitely a step up. Charlotte and Sasha are the two who put in the most work here. Although this is probably one of Brie’s better matches. About midway through the match, Brie falls to the outside and are helped back up by Nikki and Alicia, only for Team BAD and PCB to surround them. Brie gets back up on the apron and Sasha dropkicks her back into Nikki and Fox, who mainly catch her bottom half and nearly drop her on her head because of it. Thankfully, they were able to get enough of a hold on her top half that that didn’t happen but holy shit. Sasha dives through the ropes into Paige, Becky and Brie outside and as Naomi and Tamina are trying to get Sasha up, Charlotte leaps over the ropes herself. Must have been before she started doing moonsaults. Charlotte brings Brie back into the ring and Sasha comes up from behind and gets Charlotte into the Bank Statement. But Brie grabs Sasha and throws her into the ring post. Brie picks Charlotte up and goes for an X-Factor, but Charlotte catches Brie and turns it into a powerbomb before she puts Brie in the Figure 8 to make her tap out.
My Rating: ***
Match 5: United States Championship Match - John Cena (c) def. Kevin Owens (22:11)
I can’t for the life of me figure out why this seems to be the black sheep of their trilogy because this match was amazing! They had two great matches at previous PPVs and knew each other pretty well at this point. And god damn this was a classic. I’d say the match turned up a gear was when Owens simply moved out of the way of Cena’s 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Don’t know why more people don’t do that. Owens slams Cena’s face into the corner before he goes up for a swanton, that Cena gets his knees up for. Owens however starts hitting Cena’s 5 moves moves of doom on him! Shoulder tackle, shoulder tackle, side slam, 5 knuckle shuffle. He goes for the finishing touch but Cena slides off Owens’ shoulders and picks him up in an electric chair, and drops him face first before locking in the STF. Owens manages to escape. Cena goes for the springboard stunner, but KO catches him by the waist and hits a german suplex! They start exchanging in fisticuffs but Cena breaks out a yoshi-tonic for a 2 count. Cena goes for the diving legdrop off the top rope but KO catches him in a powerbomb. After Cena kicks out. Owens goes to pick him back up, but Cena gets up and hits a big AA for a 2 count. Cena takes him to the top rope and whatever Cena was going for is countered by Owens who hits a fisherman buster from the second rope. KO tries for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Cena reverses it into a hurricanrana, Cena picks up Owens for an AA, but Owens slides up and rocks Cena off the ropes with a superkick. Owens picks up Cena and now hits the AA that he tried earlier and then he locks Cena in the STF to add extra salt. Cena hits the springboard stunner, only for Owens to come back with a clothesline. Owens attempts the Pop-Up Powerbomb again, but Cena lands on the other side of Owens on his feet and hits another AA. That Owens kicks out of again! So KO has now kicked out of 2 AAs. Cena bounces off the ropes and Owens now hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb that Cena kicks out of now. Owens goes up to the top, only for Cena to meet him up there and hit a 3rd massive AA. And surely thats it. 1, 2… KICKOUT?!?! A much weaker kickout, but a kickout nonetheless. Cena just sits in shock. Man looks like he just got the worst diagnosis from his personal doctor. Cena goes to pick KO back up. Owens pulls him into a small package, Cena kicks out and picks Owens’ leg before he puts him in the STF. Owens hangs on for a while but taps out. Me personally, I love this match. I thought it was awesome. I can understand how people would hate KO kicking out of 3 AAs, but I thought the execution was good. Because it doesn’t look like Owens had much fight left in him after that. If he had hopped back up and started fighting like he hadn’t just been wrestling for 20 minutes, then I might have had a problem, but I thought this was a good way to do it. And if you had an issue with him tapping out, Owens kicked out of 3 AAs, one of which was off the top rope. They clearly had big plans for him and he was more than fine after this.
My Rating: ****3/4
Main Event: WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match - Seth Rollins (c) vs. Brock Lesnar ended in a no contest (9:00)
This match showed signs that it was going to be good, but mostly, this was pretty much what I expected it to be. This was just after Suplex City became a thing and so I did like how Seth was fighting like hell to avoid the first one. Seth tries to attack Brock’s legs, but Brock catches him and goes for the F5, but Seth escapes to the apron and comes off the top rope. Only for Brock to catch him by his waist and toss him with a german suplex. After 5 suplexes, Seth tries to escape through the crowd with his championship, but Brock hurdles the barricade and no joke, I thought he was going to german Seth on the fucking concrete for a second. But Brock tosses him back over the barricade to continue the beating. Seth starts eventually to make a comeback, taking Brock out by the legs, and making him eat many superkicks. Seth tries for a pedigree, but Brock catches him in an F5 position. Seth escapes again, kicks Brock’s knee and knees him in the back sending him out of the ring. Seth hits a couple suicide dives, but Brock runs back in on the third attempt and catches him to hit a belly to belly. Lesnar hits Seth with at least 13 German suplexes in this match. Brock slaps Seth before throwing him again. Seth slaps Brock from the ground and Brock just grins before he throws Seth again and drops him with an F5. And on the count of 2 from the referee, a gong sounds off and the lights go out. And when they come back on, Undertaker is in the ring and Seth is nowhere to be seen. Undertaker kicks Lesnar in the dick and chokeslams him. Then proceeds to give him 2 Tombstones, laying out Lesnar in the ring before he leaves. Kind of a lame finish. Mostly because I was expecting it. Not specifically Undertaker, but I didn’t think Seth was losing the title but no way was he beating Brock Lesnar. So I wondered, “how is this match not gonna have a finish?”
My Rating: **1/2
Cagematch Rating: 6.53
My Rating: 8/10
I don’t know about guys, but I thought this show was good. It didn't blow me away or anything, but I thought it was really good, the US Title Match was absolutely stellar. I'd say the biggest issue here was that the worst match was the main event. Which had a predictable non-finish. Other than that, I don't have a problem with this event.
Elimination Chamber 2019
Match 1: Women's Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match - The Boss N Hug Connection def. Fire & Desire, Nia Jax & Tamina, The Riott Squad, The IIconics & Naomi & Carmella (32:54)
A hard match to judge. The match didn't have a whole lot of action and there are a few different spots that get messed up. So its far from perfect. But somehow, I can't help but love it. First off, this wasn't just about crowning new Tag Team Champions, it was to the first ever champions. And there was a feeling that this was really important to everyone in the match. The match starts with Bayley and Sasha against Mandy and Sonya. The only 4 women in the match who was in the first women's Chamber. The first 5 minutes aren't too crazy. The Riott Squad come out of their pod first and slam Sasha's arm, which is already hurt, into the corner of their pod. They briefly go at it with Mandy and Sonya before Bayley comes back in and takes on all 4 ladies. There's a tower of doom spot just before the next team is released, that being The IIconics, who try to get a pin on really anyone they could as soon as they get out. The IIconics are in control for the next 5 minutes, and they just beat up their opposition while being as loud as possible about. Naomi and Carmella are the next team to be released and they work as a well oiled machine. Sonya rolls Carmella up from behind, only for Mella to smoothly counter it into the Cone of Silence. But Mandy saves her teammate and squares with Naomi, because Mandy was trying to get Jimmy Uso to fuck her I guess. Totally forgot about that whole debacle. Naomi gets the best of Mandy, but the IIconics come back and Billie stacks Naomi up while Peyton jackknife pins her, holding her down so they can eliminate them. Naomi and Carmella are out first. The IIconics begin to celebrate, strike a pose but then find themselves surrounded by the other teams in the match. But as the countdown begins again, Peyton and Billie point to the final team and the 3 other teams turn and ready themselves for Nia and Tamina. And say what you will about the two. But I thought they were awesome in this match. They had 3 teams on either side of their pod and bowled over all of them. And after wrecking them, they look over to see Billie and Peyton are hiding in a closed pod. Nia and Tamina surround them and push both doors open. Nia grabs Peyton by her hair and Tamina grabs Billie. Tamina nods over at Nia and they just start swinging into the chain by their hair! I don't care, that's sick. So after that, they toss the IIconics back inside and the besties can only cry together before they're picked up and are each given a Samoan drop and pinned by the Nia and Tamina. There's a brief alliance formed by the other teams to take them out, but it doesn't do much to stop them. Liv and Sarah climb on top of one of the pods and with Nia and Mandy on one side, Liv dives on them while Sarah dives on Tamina and Sonya on the other. Liv and Sarah hold out for a bit longer, but Nia samoan drops a terrified Liv off the middle rope, Tamina superkicks Sarah. Nia lays Liv next to Sarah so Tamina can splash them both and pin both ladies to eliminate them. It's down to 3 teams and Nia and Tamina look unstoppable. But Nia in trying to take out Bayley, takes herself out as she runs at her and crashes through one of the pods as Bayley dodged. Tamina sees this and looks distraught because now, she's surrounded by the other 4 women in the match. Mandy and Sonya give her a few kicks to the other, Sasha hits a meteora and Bayley finishes her with an elbow drop. They dogpile Tamina and the biggest team is now out. Leaving us with the 2 teams who started. I remember being shocked by that, I thought for sure Nia and Tamina would at least be in the final 2. So now that we're here, they start to go at it and Mandy is briefly taken out when Bayley shoves her into a knee from Sasha. Sonya rolls Sasha up from behind, but Sasha kicks out, hits her with a backcracker and followed by a Bayley to Belly. But Mandy breaks up the pin much to Sasha’s dismay. Mandy tries to escape them by climbing on a pod, but Sasha and Bayley follow her up. Sonya tries to help her, but Bayley kicks her away. But that brief distraction allows Mandy to knock her off the pod with a punch. And Sonya takes advantage by spearing Bayley into the corner of the pod. And that just about knocks Bayley out. Sasha comes down to check on her friend who is out cold from that. Mandy comes back down and throws Sasha shoulder first into the pod before she tosses her back in the ring to hit a double underhooked facebuster. But Sasha kicks out. Mandy hooks Sasha by her waist and lifts her for Sonya. But Sasha ducks and Sonya spears Mandy as she has a hold of Sasha. Sasha wrestles Sonya down in the Bank statement. But has trouble hooking her chin with her bad arm. So what does she do? She trap Sonya's arm with her leg and uses her foot instead. Kinda looks goofy but creative. Sonya taps out and we have winners. And look, no matter all the controversy and all the times since then that these titles have felt directionless, their feelings here seemed genuine and it feels like a genuine feel good story.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos def. The Miz & Shane McMahon (c) (14:10)
The tag team of McMiz feels like a fever dream. Sometimes I wonder if it was real. I actually hate this storyline. I think this ruined what was the best run of Miz's career. He basically begged Shane to be his tag team partner. And while I wasn't expecting them to, I was rooting for The Usos here. Boy was I pleasantly surprised. Miz comes out and congratulates Sasha and Bayley, then dedicates this match to his whole family. Like shut up, I hate good guy Miz. Usos get off to a rocky start but then they start isolating Miz from his corner. Miz eventually reaches Shane for the hot tag, which feels wrong cause he actually takes on both Usos. He sets both Usos in a corner each, hits coast to coast on Jimmy. Then tries the same thing on Jey, who superkicks Shane out of the air and then goes up to drop a splash and covers Shane. But Miz saves the match. Shane tags in Miz, who springboards inside and winds up outside and sets Jey on the announce table. Miz calls for Shane to get up, so he can drop an elbow from the top rope through the table. Miz goes back inside with Jimmy. Miz tries for a Skull Crushing Finale, but Jimmy rolls forward and escapes before superkicking Miz and going up for a big splash. But Miz gets his knees up and rolls up Jimmy in a small package, Jimmy kicks out but ends up getting the SKF. Miz rolls Jimmy over and lays his back on him. So Jimmy can hook Miz's arms and pulls him onto his shoulders to win. Fuck your finish I guess.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship 2-on-1 Handicap Match - Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush (9:30)
Honestly, this could've been good if they had formulated it in a way that didn't make Finn look… bad. Not only is it boring, but Finn hardly gets a move in until the end. Thats all this is for about 8 minutes. Lashley and Lio beat up Finn and Lio tagging in Bobby whenever he starts to make a move just so Lashley can beat him down again. It's very boring. At the end, Lashley is setting Finn up for the Spear, and Lio tags himself in. Lio tries a Spear, and Finn is able to dodge it. Finn prevents Lio from tagging back out and starts his comeback. Lashley comes in when it starts getting desperate. But Finn takes it to him to. He sends Lashley and Lio over to the outside and dives on them. Finn dropkicks Lio in the corner and hits the Coup de Grace to win the match and the title. And Lashley is pissed and to be honest, I don’t blame him. All Lashley does is slam Lio into the mat, I honestly think he was being nice.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 4: Raw Women's Championship Match - Ronda Rousey (c) def. Ruby Riott (1:40)
Poor Ruby Riott. She might as well have left after this match, she never recovered. It was bad enough that nobody thought she would win to begin with but to get run through the way she did is rough. Charlotte is at ringside because at this point in time, the match was Ronda vs Charlotte at Mania (Because Vince just insisted on forcing her in there.) Ronda runs through Ruby, makes her tap with an Armbar and the match is over. Charlotte gets in the ring with Ronda. And Becky comes down to the ring on crutches, because she was selling a kayfabe injury. Becky gets in and starts going to town on Charlotte with one of the crutches. And then offers Charlotte up to Ronda. Except no she doesn't. As Ronda backs Charlotte up, Becky starts whipping her ass with the crutch and catches her in the side of the head, drawing blood. Becky is eventually taken out in cuffs and with a smile on her face.
Match 5: No Disqualification Match - Baron Corbin def. Braun Strowman (10:50)
Good god, this is probably the worst match I've seen in a hot minute. This was butt ass. The one cool thing they did in this match was when Strowman took a lap around the ring and Corbin threw a spinning chair at him, and Strowman just caught it with ease. Corbin brings a table into the ring and Strowman puts him through it with a running powerslam. And then Drew McIntyre's music hits, and as he marches to the ring, Lashley takes a chair to Braun's back from behind. So then all 3 men start beating up Strowman, just fucking putting the final in the coffin of his push. They stack 2 tables together. And they couldn't have this any more obvious if they had said “come get us, Shield.” They triple powerbomb Strowman through the tables off some stairs and Corbin pins him 1, 2, 3. What a pile of shit.
My Rating: *
Oh but don't worry everybody, here's Lacey Evans to walk out and then just leave. Yep, thats it. Thats the segment.
Main Event: WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match - Daniel Bryan (c) def. Kofi Kingston, Randy Orton, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy & Samoa Joe (36:40)
So after an extremely… unwell PPV, we get to the main event which is thankfully awesome. And the story here… is Kofi Kingston. Who blew away a lot of people in the gauntlet match and many (myself included) demand he have his moment. The match begins with Bryan and Joe, and you could tell Joe was going out early because in the first 5 minutes against Bryan, he busted out his many submission combo transitions. So after Joe makes Bryan's chest red, Kofi is the first man out of his pod, the only notable spot in this few minutes is Kofi falling from the wall onto Joe and Bryan. The next man out of his pod is AJ Styles, who takes the fight right to all 3 men. Hitting Joe with a combo of strikes. A reverse DDT to Bryan and normal DDT to Kofi at the same time. Sprinboarding into Bryan who was climbing the chamber wall for some reason. Samoa Joe throws Styles into the chamber before back body dropping him into the ring. He catches Kofi in the Coquina Clutch, but Kofi escapes with a jawbreaker, and a stunned Joe takes a Phenomenal Forearm and is eliminated. Jeff Hardy comes out next and he isn't in there for very long, he has one spot and is eliminated. He fights off all 3 men and hits a Swanton from the pod to AJ who was laid across the top turnbuckle. Jeff gets up only to get kneed in the face by Bryan who eliminates him. Bryan hooks AJ's legs between the middle and top rope, hanging him upside down in the corner before he sets Kofi up on top in the same corner. Bryan plans a suplex from the top, but AJ hooks his arms around Bryan's waist and Germans him off with Kofi. All 3 men are down when Orton is released and he just takes his sweet time, he ain't in any hurry. Styles is eliminated when he goes for the forearm but Orton catches him and RKOs him to the mat. As Orton is basking, Kofi tries to roll him up from behind. But Orton kicks out and hits a draping DDT from the top rope, he sets Kofi up for the RKO, but Bryan runs at him. But Orton was ready and powerslams Bryan. That moment gives Kofi the chance to hit Orton with Trouble in Paradise and pins him. And when Orton is eliminated you can feel the air in the arena changing. The feeling that Kofi can do this. He could beat Daniel Bryan. He already did it in the gauntlet. This ending is hype! Kofi and Bryan start going it, Bryan starts kicking Kofi in the ribs and Kofi slaps them and tells Bryan to bring it! Bryan kicks Kofi in the chest and goes for another one, but Kofi ducks and hits Bryan with an SOS that Bryan kicks out of. Bryan begins dropkicking Kofi in the corner and Kofi double stomps Bryan. Kofi sets up for the Trouble in Paradise, but Bryan rolls to the outside, only for Kofi to follow him out there and bounce his face off the Chamber multiple times and says “it's my time!” Kofi goes to bounce his face off a pod, but Bryan shoves him off and Kofi’s body bounces off the pod. Bryan tosses him back in the ring, hits a running knee and covers Kofi. But Kofi kicks out! Bryan is stunned and grabs Kofi's wrists before he stomps his face in! Bryan sets Kofi up again, but Kofi catches him with a Trouble in Paradise! Kofi covers Bryan but Bryan counters it into a small package. Bryan wrestles Kofi down into the Lebell Lock, and Kofi fights it. He scratches and claws to those ropes and manages to get his fingers around the bottom rope! They sort of take a bit to set up this next big spot. But Kofi and Bryan wind up on top of a pod together, Kofi kicks Bryan down. Kofi looks down at Bryan and takes a big leap that costs Kofi everything! Bryan moves out of the way and Kofi eats the mat. Bryan hits another running knee on Kofi to retain the WWE Title. For my money, the best final 2 in Chamber Match history. What an awesome, dramatic final stretch! Bryan walks away with the title. Big E. and Xavier run down to help their friend up, make sure he’s okay, and makes sure that Kofi leaves with his head held high. That ending’s a little depressing after recent events. And I was disappointed he lost at the time, but it was the right decision. Because there was a better time and place for Kofi’s moment… and no joke, that is my next PPV.
My Rating: ****1/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.54
My Rating: 5.5/10
The opening match was great. The main event was incredible. But nearly everything in the middle is butt ass. I can't say with a straight face that this is a decent PPV because it isn't. But on the bright side, both Chamber Matches were awesome and that's why it's as high as it is.
Match 1: Women's Tag Team Championship Elimination Chamber Match - The Boss N Hug Connection def. Fire & Desire, Nia Jax & Tamina, The Riott Squad, The IIconics & Naomi & Carmella (32:54)
A hard match to judge. The match didn't have a whole lot of action and there are a few different spots that get messed up. So its far from perfect. But somehow, I can't help but love it. First off, this wasn't just about crowning new Tag Team Champions, it was to the first ever champions. And there was a feeling that this was really important to everyone in the match. The match starts with Bayley and Sasha against Mandy and Sonya. The only 4 women in the match who was in the first women's Chamber. The first 5 minutes aren't too crazy. The Riott Squad come out of their pod first and slam Sasha's arm, which is already hurt, into the corner of their pod. They briefly go at it with Mandy and Sonya before Bayley comes back in and takes on all 4 ladies. There's a tower of doom spot just before the next team is released, that being The IIconics, who try to get a pin on really anyone they could as soon as they get out. The IIconics are in control for the next 5 minutes, and they just beat up their opposition while being as loud as possible about. Naomi and Carmella are the next team to be released and they work as a well oiled machine. Sonya rolls Carmella up from behind, only for Mella to smoothly counter it into the Cone of Silence. But Mandy saves her teammate and squares with Naomi, because Mandy was trying to get Jimmy Uso to fuck her I guess. Totally forgot about that whole debacle. Naomi gets the best of Mandy, but the IIconics come back and Billie stacks Naomi up while Peyton jackknife pins her, holding her down so they can eliminate them. Naomi and Carmella are out first. The IIconics begin to celebrate, strike a pose but then find themselves surrounded by the other teams in the match. But as the countdown begins again, Peyton and Billie point to the final team and the 3 other teams turn and ready themselves for Nia and Tamina. And say what you will about the two. But I thought they were awesome in this match. They had 3 teams on either side of their pod and bowled over all of them. And after wrecking them, they look over to see Billie and Peyton are hiding in a closed pod. Nia and Tamina surround them and push both doors open. Nia grabs Peyton by her hair and Tamina grabs Billie. Tamina nods over at Nia and they just start swinging into the chain by their hair! I don't care, that's sick. So after that, they toss the IIconics back inside and the besties can only cry together before they're picked up and are each given a Samoan drop and pinned by the Nia and Tamina. There's a brief alliance formed by the other teams to take them out, but it doesn't do much to stop them. Liv and Sarah climb on top of one of the pods and with Nia and Mandy on one side, Liv dives on them while Sarah dives on Tamina and Sonya on the other. Liv and Sarah hold out for a bit longer, but Nia samoan drops a terrified Liv off the middle rope, Tamina superkicks Sarah. Nia lays Liv next to Sarah so Tamina can splash them both and pin both ladies to eliminate them. It's down to 3 teams and Nia and Tamina look unstoppable. But Nia in trying to take out Bayley, takes herself out as she runs at her and crashes through one of the pods as Bayley dodged. Tamina sees this and looks distraught because now, she's surrounded by the other 4 women in the match. Mandy and Sonya give her a few kicks to the other, Sasha hits a meteora and Bayley finishes her with an elbow drop. They dogpile Tamina and the biggest team is now out. Leaving us with the 2 teams who started. I remember being shocked by that, I thought for sure Nia and Tamina would at least be in the final 2. So now that we're here, they start to go at it and Mandy is briefly taken out when Bayley shoves her into a knee from Sasha. Sonya rolls Sasha up from behind, but Sasha kicks out, hits her with a backcracker and followed by a Bayley to Belly. But Mandy breaks up the pin much to Sasha’s dismay. Mandy tries to escape them by climbing on a pod, but Sasha and Bayley follow her up. Sonya tries to help her, but Bayley kicks her away. But that brief distraction allows Mandy to knock her off the pod with a punch. And Sonya takes advantage by spearing Bayley into the corner of the pod. And that just about knocks Bayley out. Sasha comes down to check on her friend who is out cold from that. Mandy comes back down and throws Sasha shoulder first into the pod before she tosses her back in the ring to hit a double underhooked facebuster. But Sasha kicks out. Mandy hooks Sasha by her waist and lifts her for Sonya. But Sasha ducks and Sonya spears Mandy as she has a hold of Sasha. Sasha wrestles Sonya down in the Bank statement. But has trouble hooking her chin with her bad arm. So what does she do? She trap Sonya's arm with her leg and uses her foot instead. Kinda looks goofy but creative. Sonya taps out and we have winners. And look, no matter all the controversy and all the times since then that these titles have felt directionless, their feelings here seemed genuine and it feels like a genuine feel good story.
My Rating: ****
Match 2: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos def. The Miz & Shane McMahon (c) (14:10)
The tag team of McMiz feels like a fever dream. Sometimes I wonder if it was real. I actually hate this storyline. I think this ruined what was the best run of Miz's career. He basically begged Shane to be his tag team partner. And while I wasn't expecting them to, I was rooting for The Usos here. Boy was I pleasantly surprised. Miz comes out and congratulates Sasha and Bayley, then dedicates this match to his whole family. Like shut up, I hate good guy Miz. Usos get off to a rocky start but then they start isolating Miz from his corner. Miz eventually reaches Shane for the hot tag, which feels wrong cause he actually takes on both Usos. He sets both Usos in a corner each, hits coast to coast on Jimmy. Then tries the same thing on Jey, who superkicks Shane out of the air and then goes up to drop a splash and covers Shane. But Miz saves the match. Shane tags in Miz, who springboards inside and winds up outside and sets Jey on the announce table. Miz calls for Shane to get up, so he can drop an elbow from the top rope through the table. Miz goes back inside with Jimmy. Miz tries for a Skull Crushing Finale, but Jimmy rolls forward and escapes before superkicking Miz and going up for a big splash. But Miz gets his knees up and rolls up Jimmy in a small package, Jimmy kicks out but ends up getting the SKF. Miz rolls Jimmy over and lays his back on him. So Jimmy can hook Miz's arms and pulls him onto his shoulders to win. Fuck your finish I guess.
My Rating: ***
Match 3: Intercontinental Championship 2-on-1 Handicap Match - Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush (9:30)
Honestly, this could've been good if they had formulated it in a way that didn't make Finn look… bad. Not only is it boring, but Finn hardly gets a move in until the end. Thats all this is for about 8 minutes. Lashley and Lio beat up Finn and Lio tagging in Bobby whenever he starts to make a move just so Lashley can beat him down again. It's very boring. At the end, Lashley is setting Finn up for the Spear, and Lio tags himself in. Lio tries a Spear, and Finn is able to dodge it. Finn prevents Lio from tagging back out and starts his comeback. Lashley comes in when it starts getting desperate. But Finn takes it to him to. He sends Lashley and Lio over to the outside and dives on them. Finn dropkicks Lio in the corner and hits the Coup de Grace to win the match and the title. And Lashley is pissed and to be honest, I don’t blame him. All Lashley does is slam Lio into the mat, I honestly think he was being nice.
My Rating: *1/2
Match 4: Raw Women's Championship Match - Ronda Rousey (c) def. Ruby Riott (1:40)
Poor Ruby Riott. She might as well have left after this match, she never recovered. It was bad enough that nobody thought she would win to begin with but to get run through the way she did is rough. Charlotte is at ringside because at this point in time, the match was Ronda vs Charlotte at Mania (Because Vince just insisted on forcing her in there.) Ronda runs through Ruby, makes her tap with an Armbar and the match is over. Charlotte gets in the ring with Ronda. And Becky comes down to the ring on crutches, because she was selling a kayfabe injury. Becky gets in and starts going to town on Charlotte with one of the crutches. And then offers Charlotte up to Ronda. Except no she doesn't. As Ronda backs Charlotte up, Becky starts whipping her ass with the crutch and catches her in the side of the head, drawing blood. Becky is eventually taken out in cuffs and with a smile on her face.
Match 5: No Disqualification Match - Baron Corbin def. Braun Strowman (10:50)
Good god, this is probably the worst match I've seen in a hot minute. This was butt ass. The one cool thing they did in this match was when Strowman took a lap around the ring and Corbin threw a spinning chair at him, and Strowman just caught it with ease. Corbin brings a table into the ring and Strowman puts him through it with a running powerslam. And then Drew McIntyre's music hits, and as he marches to the ring, Lashley takes a chair to Braun's back from behind. So then all 3 men start beating up Strowman, just fucking putting the final in the coffin of his push. They stack 2 tables together. And they couldn't have this any more obvious if they had said “come get us, Shield.” They triple powerbomb Strowman through the tables off some stairs and Corbin pins him 1, 2, 3. What a pile of shit.
My Rating: *
Oh but don't worry everybody, here's Lacey Evans to walk out and then just leave. Yep, thats it. Thats the segment.
Main Event: WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match - Daniel Bryan (c) def. Kofi Kingston, Randy Orton, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy & Samoa Joe (36:40)
So after an extremely… unwell PPV, we get to the main event which is thankfully awesome. And the story here… is Kofi Kingston. Who blew away a lot of people in the gauntlet match and many (myself included) demand he have his moment. The match begins with Bryan and Joe, and you could tell Joe was going out early because in the first 5 minutes against Bryan, he busted out his many submission combo transitions. So after Joe makes Bryan's chest red, Kofi is the first man out of his pod, the only notable spot in this few minutes is Kofi falling from the wall onto Joe and Bryan. The next man out of his pod is AJ Styles, who takes the fight right to all 3 men. Hitting Joe with a combo of strikes. A reverse DDT to Bryan and normal DDT to Kofi at the same time. Sprinboarding into Bryan who was climbing the chamber wall for some reason. Samoa Joe throws Styles into the chamber before back body dropping him into the ring. He catches Kofi in the Coquina Clutch, but Kofi escapes with a jawbreaker, and a stunned Joe takes a Phenomenal Forearm and is eliminated. Jeff Hardy comes out next and he isn't in there for very long, he has one spot and is eliminated. He fights off all 3 men and hits a Swanton from the pod to AJ who was laid across the top turnbuckle. Jeff gets up only to get kneed in the face by Bryan who eliminates him. Bryan hooks AJ's legs between the middle and top rope, hanging him upside down in the corner before he sets Kofi up on top in the same corner. Bryan plans a suplex from the top, but AJ hooks his arms around Bryan's waist and Germans him off with Kofi. All 3 men are down when Orton is released and he just takes his sweet time, he ain't in any hurry. Styles is eliminated when he goes for the forearm but Orton catches him and RKOs him to the mat. As Orton is basking, Kofi tries to roll him up from behind. But Orton kicks out and hits a draping DDT from the top rope, he sets Kofi up for the RKO, but Bryan runs at him. But Orton was ready and powerslams Bryan. That moment gives Kofi the chance to hit Orton with Trouble in Paradise and pins him. And when Orton is eliminated you can feel the air in the arena changing. The feeling that Kofi can do this. He could beat Daniel Bryan. He already did it in the gauntlet. This ending is hype! Kofi and Bryan start going it, Bryan starts kicking Kofi in the ribs and Kofi slaps them and tells Bryan to bring it! Bryan kicks Kofi in the chest and goes for another one, but Kofi ducks and hits Bryan with an SOS that Bryan kicks out of. Bryan begins dropkicking Kofi in the corner and Kofi double stomps Bryan. Kofi sets up for the Trouble in Paradise, but Bryan rolls to the outside, only for Kofi to follow him out there and bounce his face off the Chamber multiple times and says “it's my time!” Kofi goes to bounce his face off a pod, but Bryan shoves him off and Kofi’s body bounces off the pod. Bryan tosses him back in the ring, hits a running knee and covers Kofi. But Kofi kicks out! Bryan is stunned and grabs Kofi's wrists before he stomps his face in! Bryan sets Kofi up again, but Kofi catches him with a Trouble in Paradise! Kofi covers Bryan but Bryan counters it into a small package. Bryan wrestles Kofi down into the Lebell Lock, and Kofi fights it. He scratches and claws to those ropes and manages to get his fingers around the bottom rope! They sort of take a bit to set up this next big spot. But Kofi and Bryan wind up on top of a pod together, Kofi kicks Bryan down. Kofi looks down at Bryan and takes a big leap that costs Kofi everything! Bryan moves out of the way and Kofi eats the mat. Bryan hits another running knee on Kofi to retain the WWE Title. For my money, the best final 2 in Chamber Match history. What an awesome, dramatic final stretch! Bryan walks away with the title. Big E. and Xavier run down to help their friend up, make sure he’s okay, and makes sure that Kofi leaves with his head held high. That ending’s a little depressing after recent events. And I was disappointed he lost at the time, but it was the right decision. Because there was a better time and place for Kofi’s moment… and no joke, that is my next PPV.
My Rating: ****1/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.54
My Rating: 5.5/10
The opening match was great. The main event was incredible. But nearly everything in the middle is butt ass. I can't say with a straight face that this is a decent PPV because it isn't. But on the bright side, both Chamber Matches were awesome and that's why it's as high as it is.
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WrestleMania 35
Going into this show years ago, I made the joke that only in a perfect world do Seth, Kofi and Becky all win. Because it was WWE and they had a track record of being a huge disappointment at this point.
Match 1: Universal Championship Match - Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar (c) (2:30)
Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring and says that if Brock Lesnar is not the main event, then they aren't waiting all night. They wanna kill Seth Rollins and leave. So the Universal Title Match is starting the evening. Brock comes out first, followed by Seth. Brock attacks him before he can even get in the ring. Seth tries to fight but then Brock starts tossing Seth like a rag doll outside. He hits him with an F5 within 30 seconds on the floor and just beats the shit out of him before the bell. By the time the match actually starts, Seth’s back are shades of red and purple. The bell finally rings and Brock begins taking him to suplex city. And then he picks Seth up for an F5, but Seth slides behind, Brock, and shoves him into the referee. With the ref outside the ring, Seth low blows Brock, because why wouldn't you? Seth proceeds to give Brock 3 Curb Stomps in a row and pins the beast for the 3 count. Seth accomplished his mission, now Kofi and Becky just had to follow suit.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: AJ Styles def. Randy Orton (16:20)
A match I was kind of excited about going in. Didn't exactly live up to expectations but I'd say probably still one of the better matches on the show. This match had a pretty slow pace and a lot if the match early is them doing a “feeling out” process. AJ fakes Randy out with the Phenomenal Forearm attempt as Randy tries to go for an RKO, but just hits the mat back first. AJ now springboards and hits a 450 splash. AJ locks in the Calf Crusher and does some damage to Orton's knee. Orton hits AJ with an RKO about midway through the match, but Styles kicks out of that. Orton takes AJ to the top rope and teases an RKO from up there, but AJ slides to the mat and hits Orton with pele kick, which has Orton retreat to the outside of the ring. AJ follows him out there and hits him with a Phenomenal Forearm from inside the ring. AJ throws Randy back in and sets up for another Forearm. He jumps up, and just like in the Chamber Match, Orton catches his head, but AJ drops back to the floor, hanging Orton's throat on the top rope. AJ gets back up and hits another Forearm to secure the win.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 3: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - The Usos (c) def. The Bar, Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura, Ricochet & Aleister Black (10:10)
Yeah, I bet you forgot Rusev and Nakamura teamed didn't you? It's okay, so did I. But nonetheless, wow. This was excitement. This was a match put on to wow us. And boy it was a lot of fun to watch. Theres tagging in and out, but everyone comes in and out of the ring anyway. Might as well. Whats the ref gonna do? DQ them? In particular, I love the spot where Cesaro swung Ricochet for about a minute and a half while Sheamus just beat people’s chests on the apron. Cesaro puts Ricochet in the Sharpshooter after spinning him for so long and an Uso saves the match. A little bit later in the match. The Bar set Ricochet on the top rope for something, The Usos come in and grab the Bar in a back suplex, but then Rusev and Nakamura come in and we get a super tower of doom spot where The Usos get powerbombed, The Bar get back suplexed, and Ricochet at the top, flips back and lands on his feet, then rolling back. That was pretty sweet. Aleister Black takes Cesaro out with a knee so Ricochet can hit Sheamus with a 630! Jey (or Jimmy) prevents the pin, tosses Ricochet out and goes up for the Uso splash, but Cesaro uppercuts him out of the air. The other Uso comes in and superkicks Cesaro. Rusev kicks Uso in the head, Aleister hits Rusev with Black Mass, Nakamura knees Black in the face, Ricochet codebreakers Shinsuke, and Sheamus gets up and Brogue Kicks Ricochet. The Usos come back in together and double kicks Sheamus before heading up for the double splash to retain their titles.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 4: Falls Count Anywhere Match - Shane McMahon def. The Miz (15:30)
I remember hating this match when it first happened. Like hating it. I think what pisses me off the most about this feud is that Sanity was buried in the process. They had The Miz, established cowardly character Miz, beat down all 3 members of Sanity, by himself. By himself! And then Shane just whoops his ass at the start. I heard people bitching about Carmelo Hayes losing 1 match to Randy Orton, calling it a burial. Look at what they did to Sanity! Anyway, now that's out of my system, let's talk about the man, the myth, the legend… George Mizanin! Shane is planning to drop an elbow to Miz through the table, but George gets in his way. George gets in the ring, he puts his fists up, and he was going to give Shane what for if Miz hadn't come in and do it for him. Nevermind the rocky start George got off to, he was gonna get up and whoop Shane's ass. (I refuse to take this seriously, this shit sucks lol) Miz takes Shane out into the audience, and I don’t know that Shane gets another bit of offense in. I'm pretty sure Miz just beats his ass. Now I find it to be an entertaining beatdown. Shane takes about an 8 foot drop onto concrete and steel. Ow. They start climbing a scaffold where Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale, but Shane kicks out. Shane low blows Miz just to get away from him. He does the dumb white girl in horror movie thing and climbs further up the scaffold instead of down like a rational person. Shane starts begging Miz off which is a little inconsistent of these two. If this match had happened a year earlier, their roles would've been reversed. Miz suplexes Shane off the scaffold and into the… something to cushion fall below. Shane positions himself on top of Miz and the referee counts the pin. It's to give the illusion that Shane just landed that way, which means in kayfabe, the Miz executes the suplex wrong. Is it as bad as I remember? No. But it's not really good either.
My Rating: ***
Match 5: Women's Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - The IIconics def. The Boss N Hug Connection (c), Nia Jax & Tamina, Natalya & Beth Phoenix (10:45)
These poor ladies had the task of having to have this match after an earlier 4-Way Tag Match which was awesome. And not gonna lie, I don’t see any of these ladies pulling off what Ricochet did earlier. Sasha maybe, but not without breaking her legs. There really isn't much to talk about in this match, although it was kinda cool to see Beth back in a ring at WrestleMania. Beth and Nattie even hit a Hart Attack which was kinda cool too. Nia and Tamina were out most of the match and only come back towards the end, Nia and Tamina tease hitting a double splash on Bayley and Sasha from opposite ends of the ring. Beth and Nattie push Nia off to the floor. Bayley hit Beth with an elbow and splash combo. But Nattie makes the save. Bayley and Sasha take Beth to the top rope, but Nat saves Beth by taking Sasha out. Beth hooks Bayley's arms, Billie Kay reaches up to tag herself in before Beth hits the Glam Slam on Bayley. Peyton runs in and throws Beth out by her hair while Billie pins Bayley to win the titles.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 6: WWE Championship Match - Kofi Kingston def. Daniel Bryan (c) (23:45)
Oh my god. Yes. Yes to everything about this. The moment that we all waited for. Kofi gets his shot at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. And the irony is that he's facing off with the one guy who knows exactly how Kofi is feeling. This match was a thing of beauty. The match starts with a feeling out process, you know how it is. The beginning of this match is these guys just trying to get an advantage early. Bryan attempts to ground Kofi, but Kofi matches Bryan and let's him no that he won't go down easily. But the match takes a turn when Kofi springboards to the outside, and Bryan dodges Kofi, who hits the announce table, ribs first. For the next several minutes, Bryan targets Kofi's ribs. But Kofi stays in it and avoids the Lebell Lock. He runs at Bryan in the corner, who gets his feet up and stomps Kofi into the mat. Bryan crouches in the corner and just to rub it in our faces, he starts doing the Yes taunt. The crowd says no every time he points to the sky. He goes for the Running Knee, but Kofi drops and reverses it in a sunset pin, stacking Bryan up. Bryan kicks out but Kofi hits him with the SOS. When Bryan kicks out, he traps Kofi's arm between his legs and locks in the Lebell Lock! But Kofi reaches out with his foot on the bottom rope. Bryan starts giving Kofi repeated kicks to the chest. And Kofi just eats these, tanking them and grits his teeth as he gets to his feet. Kofi starts trading kicks with him. Bryan gets him with a kick to the torso and goes to give him another kick to the head, but Kofi catches his foot with his own, bringing him to the mat before he hooks his neck, picking him up for an inverted suplex. Bryan rolls to the outside and Kofi follows him out, but Rowan is there to stand in his way. Woods runs over, and leaps off the stairs, only for Rowan to grab him by his head and toss him over the announce table. Big E. runs over and gets clotheslined by Rowan. But Rowan turns around into a Trouble in Paradise. E. picks Rowan up on his shoulders so he and Woods can hit him with Midnight Hour on the floor! Rowan has been taken care of. Bryan goes to dive on them all, but Kofi catches him with an elbow before he can. Kofi gets back in the ring and goes for TIP again, but Bryan ducks under it and comes back with a running knee. KofiMania is about to go up in smoke. 1, 2, KICKOUT!!! Kofi is still in the match! But Bryan is still the man in control and he grabs Kofi's wrists before he stomps Kofi's face in. Bryan puts Kofi in the Lebell Lock and Kofi looks like he might be out, but he's come too far to lose. He pries Bryan's hands off his face and tries to escape, Bryan is desperately trying to keep him in the holding, but Kofi gets himself in position to mount Bryan and rain elbows on his face. Kofi stands back up and as a nice touch, Kofi grabs Bryan's wrists and now its his turn to stomp in Bryan. And with every stomp, the crowd goes “YES! YES! YES!” Kofi stands in the corner and Bryan gets up, and turns around in a Trouble in Paradise. Kofi covers him and his face lights up at the count of 3! And Met Life Stadium blows up! The celebration begins! Woods and E. present Kofi with his title. Kofi's kids get in the ring with him. This feels like a genuinely amazing moment. This kinda aged poorly since then, but I thought the New Day were inseparable. The fact that there was no jealousy from Woods and E. Only happiness is why. There was no double cross. No backstabbing. Woods and Big E had his back the entire time. Great match with an even better moment afterward.
My Rating: ****1/2
Match 7: United States Championship Match - Samoa Joe (c) def. Rey Mysterio (0:58)
I think Rey injured his ankle earlier in the week, so I was shocked this match was even happening. But then it makes sense at the end. Rey gets a 619 in. Good for him. But he gets choked out in the Coquina Clutch. Kinda. The ref just raised his arm once and said “yep, he's out.” Okay, good. Lets move on.
Match 8: Roman Reigns def. Drew McIntyre (10:10)
One of the more disappointing matches on this card. I was expecting a more hard hitting matchup, but maybe they were trying to test the water with Roman. Now I get Roman winning, but the way he wins just seems so… Unfulfilling. He pretty much just hit Drew really hard a few times in the last 2 minutes after Drew had basically laid on him the whole match. Drew dominates the whole match really, but he slaps Roman in the face, and that apparently activated his kill mode. Roman hits basically every move he has, drive by, samoan drop, Superman Punch, Spear aaaaand its over. So after Drew beat his ass all match, Roman just hits all his moves and wins. Huh…
My Rating: **
After this match, Elias plays with himself and John Cena comes out to end his push with a rap. This pisses me off for reasons later.
Match 9: No Holds Barred Match with Triple H's career on the line - Triple H def. Batista (24:45)
My goodness, this was long. Its not the worst match I've ever seen but it's just a drag to sit through. It's bad enough that they added the stipulation that Triple H must leave if he loses on the same night where Kurt Angle retires, but this match is so long and they have like 5 notable spots. I think of this match in the same light as Roman/Jey at SummerSlam, in that the story is there, its just a boring watch. Here I can name everything they did in just a few lines. Triple H pulls Batista's nose ring out with needle nose pliers. Triple H spears Batista through one of the tables. HHH grabs a sledgehammer but Batista spears him and hits a Batista Bomb as HHH points it at his head. Batista brings the steps in the ring, but HHH powerbombs him onto them and hits a Pedigree. Batista kicks out and crawls to the sledgehammer, but Ric Flair comes out from the audience and slides another one to HHH. He jaw jacks Batista, who turns around to hit with the hammer and a Pedigree. After nearly 25 boring minutes, the match is over. But if there is one good thing about this match, it's that Batista went out against the guy he wanted to go out against. Unlike someone else on this show…
My Rating: **3/4
Match 10: Baron Corbin def. Kurt Angle (6:05)
I think we were all expecting for there to be a last minute swerve. Like maybe John Cena (which is who Kurt wanted!) coming out and taking Corbin’s place. I'm not gonna lie, it feels like a middle fucking finger to Kurt that Vince wouldn't even let him choose his last opponent. And because of that, we get to watch Corbin lay on Kurt before Kurt starts to comeback. One last ankle lock. One last missed moonsault. End of Days, Corbin wins in what feels like one of the saddest retirement matches ever. But even though he didn't get to go out on his own terms, Kurt still takes the time to grab a mic and thank us for his 20 year career. The fact that Cena was there too makes this worse. They could've done it still. But nah, Kurt gets Corbin. Fuck you Vince.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 11: Intercontinental Championship Match - Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley (c) (4:05)
A decent match for being 4 minutes. But I feel like this match being placed this late on the card hurts it. Finn’s entrance especially suffered. I always thought a WrestleMania demon entrance would be way cooler. I was so excited to see a huge WrestleMania crowd raising their arms at once. And yet, everyone was so tired that hardly anyone did it. Yeah, this match definitely should've been way sooner on the card. Lashley comes out with Lio Rush, who I thought he figuratively and literally dropped at Elimination Chamber. Finn goes after Lashley, and knocks him out of the ring, diving on him on the outside, but Lashley uses his power to fight back. On the outside, Finn hits a slingblade and a dropkick and he throws Bobby back in, Finn gets on the apron and Lashley spears him off! Lashley spears him again inside the ring, but Finn kicks out. Finn manages to lift Bobby up for a Powerbomb and hits a Coup de Grace to win. After 5 (6 cause I had to take a momentary break) hours, it's finally… finally time for the main event.
My Rating: ***
Main Event: Raw & SmackDown Women's Championship Winner Take All Triple Threat Match - Becky Lynch def. Ronda Rousey (Raw) & Charlotte Flair (SD) (21:30)
Is it a good match? Yeah, I think so. It could've been better though. First of all, Charlotte is such a third wheel here and yet I feel like she's in most of the spots of this match. Like, the most obnoxious third wheel ever. Becky tries to bring Ronda down, but Ronda backs Becky in the corner and starts laying in the punches. Charlotte to take her by surprise with a Spear, but Ronda kicks her in the face and sends her out of the ring with another to the gut. Ronda has a hold of Charlotte's arm and bends back, even as Ronda hangs over the apron. Becky baseball slides between Charlotte's legs and kicks Ronda to the floor. Charlotte reverses an armbar by Ronda into a Boston crab, but Becky saves the match. Becky takes a page out of AJ's book and hits a DDT and reverse DDT on Ronda and Charlotte both. Becky later on gets Ronda in the Dis-Arm-Her, but Ronda grabs the ropes and stands up with Becky still on her shoulder. Ronda rears back and drops Becky on the turnbuckle. Ronda runs right into the ring post as Becky leapt to the top to dodge it and puts Ronda in the hold from there. Charlotte boots Becky in the face and hits a Spanish Fly on Becky. Charlotte grabs Ronda and does the Figure 4 around the ring post, then comes back in the ring to put her in the Figure 8. Becky saves the match with a legdrop to Charlotte's torso. After this, a table gets thrown in the ring by Charlotte. They set it up in the corner and Becky and Ronda wind up hip tossing her into it. Not breaking it though, just cracking it a little. This leaves Ronda and Becky, the match that we all actually wanted, alone in the ring. They start going at it and unsurprisingly, Ronda gets the upper hand, knee to the face and rolling her onto her shoulders. Ronda goes for Piper's Pit, but Becky counters it into a crucifix pin and… Wait, thats it? Oh… Thats it I guess. It's kinda funny that you had 3 women with submission finishers only to end the match via crucifix pin. Like even Corey Graves was like “I'd like it if we had a more conclusive finish to WrestleMania.” no joke, that's what he says and I wouldn't be surprised if he got an ass chewing backstage for it. He's not wrong though. Crucifix pin in the main event at WrestleMania is an interesting decision. And don't get me wrong, this was the right decision. Everyone we wanted to win, won their matches. We should've been celebrating. But instead, it just felt like a relief that it was finally over. Thank God, they went to 2 nights the next year.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.53
My Rating: 8/10
I want to rate it higher to be honest. This, for all intents and purposes should be a top 10 WrestleMania. Seth slayed the beast, Kofi achieved his dream and The Man stood tall. All of these are such good things. But then you stand back and look at everything and you're like, “Oh…” it wasn't all bad, there were other matches on the show which were good too. I was just so exhausted when it was over. And you could tell that entire audience was too. I don’t live too far from New Jersey, so it was past midnight by the time Becky raised those titles. Some of us have a workplace to get to the next morning. The worst thing about this event is the disrespect they showed Kurt Angle. It should've been John Cena, sure as fuck not Baron Corbin. I'd say after the Kofi match was when this show took a turn, because it felt like a different show after that. Everything before leading up to that was great and the match Kofi and Bryan had so spectacular.
Going into this show years ago, I made the joke that only in a perfect world do Seth, Kofi and Becky all win. Because it was WWE and they had a track record of being a huge disappointment at this point.
Match 1: Universal Championship Match - Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar (c) (2:30)
Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring and says that if Brock Lesnar is not the main event, then they aren't waiting all night. They wanna kill Seth Rollins and leave. So the Universal Title Match is starting the evening. Brock comes out first, followed by Seth. Brock attacks him before he can even get in the ring. Seth tries to fight but then Brock starts tossing Seth like a rag doll outside. He hits him with an F5 within 30 seconds on the floor and just beats the shit out of him before the bell. By the time the match actually starts, Seth’s back are shades of red and purple. The bell finally rings and Brock begins taking him to suplex city. And then he picks Seth up for an F5, but Seth slides behind, Brock, and shoves him into the referee. With the ref outside the ring, Seth low blows Brock, because why wouldn't you? Seth proceeds to give Brock 3 Curb Stomps in a row and pins the beast for the 3 count. Seth accomplished his mission, now Kofi and Becky just had to follow suit.
My Rating: ***
Match 2: AJ Styles def. Randy Orton (16:20)
A match I was kind of excited about going in. Didn't exactly live up to expectations but I'd say probably still one of the better matches on the show. This match had a pretty slow pace and a lot if the match early is them doing a “feeling out” process. AJ fakes Randy out with the Phenomenal Forearm attempt as Randy tries to go for an RKO, but just hits the mat back first. AJ now springboards and hits a 450 splash. AJ locks in the Calf Crusher and does some damage to Orton's knee. Orton hits AJ with an RKO about midway through the match, but Styles kicks out of that. Orton takes AJ to the top rope and teases an RKO from up there, but AJ slides to the mat and hits Orton with pele kick, which has Orton retreat to the outside of the ring. AJ follows him out there and hits him with a Phenomenal Forearm from inside the ring. AJ throws Randy back in and sets up for another Forearm. He jumps up, and just like in the Chamber Match, Orton catches his head, but AJ drops back to the floor, hanging Orton's throat on the top rope. AJ gets back up and hits another Forearm to secure the win.
My Rating: ***1/2
Match 3: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - The Usos (c) def. The Bar, Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura, Ricochet & Aleister Black (10:10)
Yeah, I bet you forgot Rusev and Nakamura teamed didn't you? It's okay, so did I. But nonetheless, wow. This was excitement. This was a match put on to wow us. And boy it was a lot of fun to watch. Theres tagging in and out, but everyone comes in and out of the ring anyway. Might as well. Whats the ref gonna do? DQ them? In particular, I love the spot where Cesaro swung Ricochet for about a minute and a half while Sheamus just beat people’s chests on the apron. Cesaro puts Ricochet in the Sharpshooter after spinning him for so long and an Uso saves the match. A little bit later in the match. The Bar set Ricochet on the top rope for something, The Usos come in and grab the Bar in a back suplex, but then Rusev and Nakamura come in and we get a super tower of doom spot where The Usos get powerbombed, The Bar get back suplexed, and Ricochet at the top, flips back and lands on his feet, then rolling back. That was pretty sweet. Aleister Black takes Cesaro out with a knee so Ricochet can hit Sheamus with a 630! Jey (or Jimmy) prevents the pin, tosses Ricochet out and goes up for the Uso splash, but Cesaro uppercuts him out of the air. The other Uso comes in and superkicks Cesaro. Rusev kicks Uso in the head, Aleister hits Rusev with Black Mass, Nakamura knees Black in the face, Ricochet codebreakers Shinsuke, and Sheamus gets up and Brogue Kicks Ricochet. The Usos come back in together and double kicks Sheamus before heading up for the double splash to retain their titles.
My Rating: ***3/4
Match 4: Falls Count Anywhere Match - Shane McMahon def. The Miz (15:30)
I remember hating this match when it first happened. Like hating it. I think what pisses me off the most about this feud is that Sanity was buried in the process. They had The Miz, established cowardly character Miz, beat down all 3 members of Sanity, by himself. By himself! And then Shane just whoops his ass at the start. I heard people bitching about Carmelo Hayes losing 1 match to Randy Orton, calling it a burial. Look at what they did to Sanity! Anyway, now that's out of my system, let's talk about the man, the myth, the legend… George Mizanin! Shane is planning to drop an elbow to Miz through the table, but George gets in his way. George gets in the ring, he puts his fists up, and he was going to give Shane what for if Miz hadn't come in and do it for him. Nevermind the rocky start George got off to, he was gonna get up and whoop Shane's ass. (I refuse to take this seriously, this shit sucks lol) Miz takes Shane out into the audience, and I don’t know that Shane gets another bit of offense in. I'm pretty sure Miz just beats his ass. Now I find it to be an entertaining beatdown. Shane takes about an 8 foot drop onto concrete and steel. Ow. They start climbing a scaffold where Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale, but Shane kicks out. Shane low blows Miz just to get away from him. He does the dumb white girl in horror movie thing and climbs further up the scaffold instead of down like a rational person. Shane starts begging Miz off which is a little inconsistent of these two. If this match had happened a year earlier, their roles would've been reversed. Miz suplexes Shane off the scaffold and into the… something to cushion fall below. Shane positions himself on top of Miz and the referee counts the pin. It's to give the illusion that Shane just landed that way, which means in kayfabe, the Miz executes the suplex wrong. Is it as bad as I remember? No. But it's not really good either.
My Rating: ***
Match 5: Women's Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match - The IIconics def. The Boss N Hug Connection (c), Nia Jax & Tamina, Natalya & Beth Phoenix (10:45)
These poor ladies had the task of having to have this match after an earlier 4-Way Tag Match which was awesome. And not gonna lie, I don’t see any of these ladies pulling off what Ricochet did earlier. Sasha maybe, but not without breaking her legs. There really isn't much to talk about in this match, although it was kinda cool to see Beth back in a ring at WrestleMania. Beth and Nattie even hit a Hart Attack which was kinda cool too. Nia and Tamina were out most of the match and only come back towards the end, Nia and Tamina tease hitting a double splash on Bayley and Sasha from opposite ends of the ring. Beth and Nattie push Nia off to the floor. Bayley hit Beth with an elbow and splash combo. But Nattie makes the save. Bayley and Sasha take Beth to the top rope, but Nat saves Beth by taking Sasha out. Beth hooks Bayley's arms, Billie Kay reaches up to tag herself in before Beth hits the Glam Slam on Bayley. Peyton runs in and throws Beth out by her hair while Billie pins Bayley to win the titles.
My Rating: *3/4
Match 6: WWE Championship Match - Kofi Kingston def. Daniel Bryan (c) (23:45)
Oh my god. Yes. Yes to everything about this. The moment that we all waited for. Kofi gets his shot at WrestleMania for the WWE Title. And the irony is that he's facing off with the one guy who knows exactly how Kofi is feeling. This match was a thing of beauty. The match starts with a feeling out process, you know how it is. The beginning of this match is these guys just trying to get an advantage early. Bryan attempts to ground Kofi, but Kofi matches Bryan and let's him no that he won't go down easily. But the match takes a turn when Kofi springboards to the outside, and Bryan dodges Kofi, who hits the announce table, ribs first. For the next several minutes, Bryan targets Kofi's ribs. But Kofi stays in it and avoids the Lebell Lock. He runs at Bryan in the corner, who gets his feet up and stomps Kofi into the mat. Bryan crouches in the corner and just to rub it in our faces, he starts doing the Yes taunt. The crowd says no every time he points to the sky. He goes for the Running Knee, but Kofi drops and reverses it in a sunset pin, stacking Bryan up. Bryan kicks out but Kofi hits him with the SOS. When Bryan kicks out, he traps Kofi's arm between his legs and locks in the Lebell Lock! But Kofi reaches out with his foot on the bottom rope. Bryan starts giving Kofi repeated kicks to the chest. And Kofi just eats these, tanking them and grits his teeth as he gets to his feet. Kofi starts trading kicks with him. Bryan gets him with a kick to the torso and goes to give him another kick to the head, but Kofi catches his foot with his own, bringing him to the mat before he hooks his neck, picking him up for an inverted suplex. Bryan rolls to the outside and Kofi follows him out, but Rowan is there to stand in his way. Woods runs over, and leaps off the stairs, only for Rowan to grab him by his head and toss him over the announce table. Big E. runs over and gets clotheslined by Rowan. But Rowan turns around into a Trouble in Paradise. E. picks Rowan up on his shoulders so he and Woods can hit him with Midnight Hour on the floor! Rowan has been taken care of. Bryan goes to dive on them all, but Kofi catches him with an elbow before he can. Kofi gets back in the ring and goes for TIP again, but Bryan ducks under it and comes back with a running knee. KofiMania is about to go up in smoke. 1, 2, KICKOUT!!! Kofi is still in the match! But Bryan is still the man in control and he grabs Kofi's wrists before he stomps Kofi's face in. Bryan puts Kofi in the Lebell Lock and Kofi looks like he might be out, but he's come too far to lose. He pries Bryan's hands off his face and tries to escape, Bryan is desperately trying to keep him in the holding, but Kofi gets himself in position to mount Bryan and rain elbows on his face. Kofi stands back up and as a nice touch, Kofi grabs Bryan's wrists and now its his turn to stomp in Bryan. And with every stomp, the crowd goes “YES! YES! YES!” Kofi stands in the corner and Bryan gets up, and turns around in a Trouble in Paradise. Kofi covers him and his face lights up at the count of 3! And Met Life Stadium blows up! The celebration begins! Woods and E. present Kofi with his title. Kofi's kids get in the ring with him. This feels like a genuinely amazing moment. This kinda aged poorly since then, but I thought the New Day were inseparable. The fact that there was no jealousy from Woods and E. Only happiness is why. There was no double cross. No backstabbing. Woods and Big E had his back the entire time. Great match with an even better moment afterward.
My Rating: ****1/2
Match 7: United States Championship Match - Samoa Joe (c) def. Rey Mysterio (0:58)
I think Rey injured his ankle earlier in the week, so I was shocked this match was even happening. But then it makes sense at the end. Rey gets a 619 in. Good for him. But he gets choked out in the Coquina Clutch. Kinda. The ref just raised his arm once and said “yep, he's out.” Okay, good. Lets move on.
Match 8: Roman Reigns def. Drew McIntyre (10:10)
One of the more disappointing matches on this card. I was expecting a more hard hitting matchup, but maybe they were trying to test the water with Roman. Now I get Roman winning, but the way he wins just seems so… Unfulfilling. He pretty much just hit Drew really hard a few times in the last 2 minutes after Drew had basically laid on him the whole match. Drew dominates the whole match really, but he slaps Roman in the face, and that apparently activated his kill mode. Roman hits basically every move he has, drive by, samoan drop, Superman Punch, Spear aaaaand its over. So after Drew beat his ass all match, Roman just hits all his moves and wins. Huh…
My Rating: **
After this match, Elias plays with himself and John Cena comes out to end his push with a rap. This pisses me off for reasons later.
Match 9: No Holds Barred Match with Triple H's career on the line - Triple H def. Batista (24:45)
My goodness, this was long. Its not the worst match I've ever seen but it's just a drag to sit through. It's bad enough that they added the stipulation that Triple H must leave if he loses on the same night where Kurt Angle retires, but this match is so long and they have like 5 notable spots. I think of this match in the same light as Roman/Jey at SummerSlam, in that the story is there, its just a boring watch. Here I can name everything they did in just a few lines. Triple H pulls Batista's nose ring out with needle nose pliers. Triple H spears Batista through one of the tables. HHH grabs a sledgehammer but Batista spears him and hits a Batista Bomb as HHH points it at his head. Batista brings the steps in the ring, but HHH powerbombs him onto them and hits a Pedigree. Batista kicks out and crawls to the sledgehammer, but Ric Flair comes out from the audience and slides another one to HHH. He jaw jacks Batista, who turns around to hit with the hammer and a Pedigree. After nearly 25 boring minutes, the match is over. But if there is one good thing about this match, it's that Batista went out against the guy he wanted to go out against. Unlike someone else on this show…
My Rating: **3/4
Match 10: Baron Corbin def. Kurt Angle (6:05)
I think we were all expecting for there to be a last minute swerve. Like maybe John Cena (which is who Kurt wanted!) coming out and taking Corbin’s place. I'm not gonna lie, it feels like a middle fucking finger to Kurt that Vince wouldn't even let him choose his last opponent. And because of that, we get to watch Corbin lay on Kurt before Kurt starts to comeback. One last ankle lock. One last missed moonsault. End of Days, Corbin wins in what feels like one of the saddest retirement matches ever. But even though he didn't get to go out on his own terms, Kurt still takes the time to grab a mic and thank us for his 20 year career. The fact that Cena was there too makes this worse. They could've done it still. But nah, Kurt gets Corbin. Fuck you Vince.
My Rating: 1/2*
Match 11: Intercontinental Championship Match - Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley (c) (4:05)
A decent match for being 4 minutes. But I feel like this match being placed this late on the card hurts it. Finn’s entrance especially suffered. I always thought a WrestleMania demon entrance would be way cooler. I was so excited to see a huge WrestleMania crowd raising their arms at once. And yet, everyone was so tired that hardly anyone did it. Yeah, this match definitely should've been way sooner on the card. Lashley comes out with Lio Rush, who I thought he figuratively and literally dropped at Elimination Chamber. Finn goes after Lashley, and knocks him out of the ring, diving on him on the outside, but Lashley uses his power to fight back. On the outside, Finn hits a slingblade and a dropkick and he throws Bobby back in, Finn gets on the apron and Lashley spears him off! Lashley spears him again inside the ring, but Finn kicks out. Finn manages to lift Bobby up for a Powerbomb and hits a Coup de Grace to win. After 5 (6 cause I had to take a momentary break) hours, it's finally… finally time for the main event.
My Rating: ***
Main Event: Raw & SmackDown Women's Championship Winner Take All Triple Threat Match - Becky Lynch def. Ronda Rousey (Raw) & Charlotte Flair (SD) (21:30)
Is it a good match? Yeah, I think so. It could've been better though. First of all, Charlotte is such a third wheel here and yet I feel like she's in most of the spots of this match. Like, the most obnoxious third wheel ever. Becky tries to bring Ronda down, but Ronda backs Becky in the corner and starts laying in the punches. Charlotte to take her by surprise with a Spear, but Ronda kicks her in the face and sends her out of the ring with another to the gut. Ronda has a hold of Charlotte's arm and bends back, even as Ronda hangs over the apron. Becky baseball slides between Charlotte's legs and kicks Ronda to the floor. Charlotte reverses an armbar by Ronda into a Boston crab, but Becky saves the match. Becky takes a page out of AJ's book and hits a DDT and reverse DDT on Ronda and Charlotte both. Becky later on gets Ronda in the Dis-Arm-Her, but Ronda grabs the ropes and stands up with Becky still on her shoulder. Ronda rears back and drops Becky on the turnbuckle. Ronda runs right into the ring post as Becky leapt to the top to dodge it and puts Ronda in the hold from there. Charlotte boots Becky in the face and hits a Spanish Fly on Becky. Charlotte grabs Ronda and does the Figure 4 around the ring post, then comes back in the ring to put her in the Figure 8. Becky saves the match with a legdrop to Charlotte's torso. After this, a table gets thrown in the ring by Charlotte. They set it up in the corner and Becky and Ronda wind up hip tossing her into it. Not breaking it though, just cracking it a little. This leaves Ronda and Becky, the match that we all actually wanted, alone in the ring. They start going at it and unsurprisingly, Ronda gets the upper hand, knee to the face and rolling her onto her shoulders. Ronda goes for Piper's Pit, but Becky counters it into a crucifix pin and… Wait, thats it? Oh… Thats it I guess. It's kinda funny that you had 3 women with submission finishers only to end the match via crucifix pin. Like even Corey Graves was like “I'd like it if we had a more conclusive finish to WrestleMania.” no joke, that's what he says and I wouldn't be surprised if he got an ass chewing backstage for it. He's not wrong though. Crucifix pin in the main event at WrestleMania is an interesting decision. And don't get me wrong, this was the right decision. Everyone we wanted to win, won their matches. We should've been celebrating. But instead, it just felt like a relief that it was finally over. Thank God, they went to 2 nights the next year.
My Rating: ***3/4
Cagematch Rating: 6.53
My Rating: 8/10
I want to rate it higher to be honest. This, for all intents and purposes should be a top 10 WrestleMania. Seth slayed the beast, Kofi achieved his dream and The Man stood tall. All of these are such good things. But then you stand back and look at everything and you're like, “Oh…” it wasn't all bad, there were other matches on the show which were good too. I was just so exhausted when it was over. And you could tell that entire audience was too. I don’t live too far from New Jersey, so it was past midnight by the time Becky raised those titles. Some of us have a workplace to get to the next morning. The worst thing about this event is the disrespect they showed Kurt Angle. It should've been John Cena, sure as fuck not Baron Corbin. I'd say after the Kofi match was when this show took a turn, because it felt like a different show after that. Everything before leading up to that was great and the match Kofi and Bryan had so spectacular.