Dear WWE:
Snowwie here. You know me, the guy who's been watching your show and talking about it online non-stop for the past 2 years? Yeah, about that. You may know me as a really, really big wrestling fan, football fanatic, and avid watcher of your show "Total Divas" that comes on on the E! network. So you're the person you're pandering to with all this senseless stuff, right?
Oh, so you're wanting me to tune in because you brought Michael Sam to Raw? The groundbreaking first openly gay NFL player (as opposed to the groundbreaking first openly gay pro wrestler you have on your roster?) Well it's not going to work. As a football fan, I'm going to be watching ACTUAL FOOTBALL on the other channel not caring what this guy has to say since ESPN has overpushed the hell out of the guy just like you overpush every single babyface you deem to be "important", so wrestling fans in general probably aren't too keen on him either. Besides, he's taking time away from the WRESTLING that SHOULD be the focal point of the show that you clearly don't give a crap about. Hell, after seeing this episode of Raw I don't think you give a crap about anything. What are you pushing? What are you making look important? I digress... Anyway, Michael Sam: If you wanted ESPN plugs, I'm sure you got a few... but they were minimal because you're relying on the network SHOWING FOOTBALL to give you publicity. Yay, Sportsnation comedy plugs, woo-hoo! The only people who you could possibly hope to draw with this nonsense are the pop culture crowd who will NOT tolerate...
...The Bella Twins. WWE, if this is a storyline you are pushing for Total Divas, stop it. If this is not for Total Divas and something for Raw, stop it right fucking now. The Total Divas universe and the Raw universe are COMPLETELY separate so you can't get away with that... and dear Lord. WWE, have you seen the kind of TV these two are creating? THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE. It's a poorly written, badly-acted, annoying, overexposed feud that only 3 people in the back give a single fuck about. NOBODY CARES. The most promoted feud of your show got "Boring" chants as soon as the segment began! Think about that! And it's not like there's a light at the end of the tunnel with this because the match that's gonna happen is going to be absolutely ghastly. Lets all look forward to that as we spend 9.99 on a ribeye steak. Oh, and "Cena is back and stronger than ever' ain't helping, brothers. Neither are the fans who turned "9.99" into such a meme, telling this company to repeat stuff over and over to a nauseating degree will make it get over just like they can repeat the same damned segments on Raw for 5 weeks in a row and several Smackdowns...
Anyway, you want to know the secret to me saying "You know, Detroit is going to kill the Giants, so why not turn on Monday Night Raw and order the Network subscriptions you care so much about?" How about you actually put on a good show? Put on a show full of exciting action, entertaining moments, interesting characters, and angles that don't suck. Did you ever think of that? Yes. You did. And you kicked Monday Night Football's ass. But WWE, I guess that's just beyond your ability to produce at this point. And if anyone in Titan Tower is reading this (you're not) I may be some irrelevant fan on a message board, but believe you me there are many, many more fans that think you are failing miserably in all four areas. And yes... yes Triple H I talked to my friend Mark. He thought this shit was horribly boring and agreed to just follow along online. Why don't you go meet your buddies Vince and Kevin and collectively fuck off?