Yah, recaps are popular in other sites, so I decided to make my own. Hope it's snarky enough and coems off like I'm too bitter to even be watching wrestling anymore.
It's in MILWAUKEE!!! – One night after the Green Bay Packers won da Superbowl, now I don't have to pretend like I care about football now that it's over, and might be locked out next season.
1st segment.
Mr. McMahon announced that the WrestleMania host will be revealed next week, so it'll probably be some lame ass celebrity like Snoop Dogg or Bob Barker......Or that Bieber kid I saw on a Superbowl add with Ozzy.
Segment 2.
The New Nexus attacked Randy Orton
After Randy Orton punted Husky don't call me Rotund, call me Husky motherfucker. We get Orton boring the shit out of everyone with his promos, and Punk is here to save the day and gives his explanation for costing Orton the title. Turns out y'all forgot about No Mercy 08, where Legacy take out then champion Punk and taking him out of the Scramble match. Patient Punk reveals now is the time for revenge.....which ensues in Orton breaking his nose and taking on all of Nexus until the numbers catch up and they tie him in the ropes, only to have Orton kick Punk in the face again......God I hope Punk stiffs the fuck out of him in their match. Give him a fucking knot on his head and a concussion.
The anonymous Raw GM blah blal blah and I quote. yada yada yada....matches against Nexus and EC entrants.
R-Truth def. Mason Ryan by Disqualification
Truth has his Spinal Tap moment and forgets they are in MILWAUKEE!!! NOT GREEN BAY fucktard. And crowd that was initially popping for Truth instantly kill his heat and don't care when he botches his norml spots and leaves Batistwo no choice but to fuck up his knee and give him a Brock Lock.
Divas Champion Eve, Gail Kim & Tamina def. The Bella Twins & Melina
Didn't even notice a match was going on, because Cole keeps proving his gayness by having a bitchfest with Natalya on commentary and I wish she just beats the little shit into a pulp. As far as I know, she isn't going to get fired for punching Michael Cole.
John Morrison def. Michael McGillicutty
Typical Steamboat type match, Jomo gets his ass kicked for awhile, McG-cutty slips on a banana peel, starship pain and thats all she wrote. Punk comes from behind and blinds Jomo with hairspray or someshit.
Jerry “The King†Lawler & U.S. Champion Daniel Bryan def. WWE Champion The Miz & Ted DiBiase
Tag match ensues after Miz and Lawler share some mic time together, Cole and Riley on commentary, not so bad. Riley got some decent jokes in. Deebs does the honors for Lawler, Deebs needs to beat up Maryse Jeff Jarrett style to gain any heat he once had.
King Sheamus vs. David Otunga ended in a No Contest
Sheamus walks out and Josh Matthews comes running down the aisle to tell Sheamus, Mark Henry was talking shit, so Sheamus talks about how fat and useless and what a lame career Henry had. So when Otunga is making his way down to the ring, Mark Henry comes out and tries to brawl with Sheamus and gets the upperhand with absolutely NO HEAT. Hear that Vince? NO FUCKING HEAT!! This means Sheamus is getting reactions for his promos and entrance and shouldn't be selling a beatdown from Mark Henry. Push him already.
Alberto Del Rio def. Santino Marella
Del Rio comes out and brags for abit while Ricky Ricardo keeps babbling sum spanish and Santino comes running and throws Del Rio out twice to two nasty looking bumps. Alberto works the arm and taps out Santino.
CM Punk def. John Cena by Disqualification
Punk broken nose and all is taking on Cena, Cena offense, CM Punk offense, Cena gets pissed off and starts hammering on Punk in the corner, ref threatens to DQ him, so what does Cena do? He Ric Flair's Punk in the balls.
Nexus runs out and muscle man Mason Ryan attends to Punk who is clutching his nuts and other two try to get Cena who is immediately passed a chair by Lawler and its clobbering time. Cena ends the show looking all bad boy with his chair and ballshots.
Show kinda blew.
Also made the 2/21/11 vignette so fucking obvious, I'm beginning to think it's not Undertaker and it's a swerve. Or just a huge letdown since Undertaker don't do vignettes and hasn't since 93.
It's in MILWAUKEE!!! – One night after the Green Bay Packers won da Superbowl, now I don't have to pretend like I care about football now that it's over, and might be locked out next season.
1st segment.
Mr. McMahon announced that the WrestleMania host will be revealed next week, so it'll probably be some lame ass celebrity like Snoop Dogg or Bob Barker......Or that Bieber kid I saw on a Superbowl add with Ozzy.
Segment 2.
The New Nexus attacked Randy Orton
After Randy Orton punted Husky don't call me Rotund, call me Husky motherfucker. We get Orton boring the shit out of everyone with his promos, and Punk is here to save the day and gives his explanation for costing Orton the title. Turns out y'all forgot about No Mercy 08, where Legacy take out then champion Punk and taking him out of the Scramble match. Patient Punk reveals now is the time for revenge.....which ensues in Orton breaking his nose and taking on all of Nexus until the numbers catch up and they tie him in the ropes, only to have Orton kick Punk in the face again......God I hope Punk stiffs the fuck out of him in their match. Give him a fucking knot on his head and a concussion.
The anonymous Raw GM blah blal blah and I quote. yada yada yada....matches against Nexus and EC entrants.
R-Truth def. Mason Ryan by Disqualification
Truth has his Spinal Tap moment and forgets they are in MILWAUKEE!!! NOT GREEN BAY fucktard. And crowd that was initially popping for Truth instantly kill his heat and don't care when he botches his norml spots and leaves Batistwo no choice but to fuck up his knee and give him a Brock Lock.
Divas Champion Eve, Gail Kim & Tamina def. The Bella Twins & Melina
Didn't even notice a match was going on, because Cole keeps proving his gayness by having a bitchfest with Natalya on commentary and I wish she just beats the little shit into a pulp. As far as I know, she isn't going to get fired for punching Michael Cole.
John Morrison def. Michael McGillicutty
Typical Steamboat type match, Jomo gets his ass kicked for awhile, McG-cutty slips on a banana peel, starship pain and thats all she wrote. Punk comes from behind and blinds Jomo with hairspray or someshit.
Jerry “The King†Lawler & U.S. Champion Daniel Bryan def. WWE Champion The Miz & Ted DiBiase
Tag match ensues after Miz and Lawler share some mic time together, Cole and Riley on commentary, not so bad. Riley got some decent jokes in. Deebs does the honors for Lawler, Deebs needs to beat up Maryse Jeff Jarrett style to gain any heat he once had.
King Sheamus vs. David Otunga ended in a No Contest
Sheamus walks out and Josh Matthews comes running down the aisle to tell Sheamus, Mark Henry was talking shit, so Sheamus talks about how fat and useless and what a lame career Henry had. So when Otunga is making his way down to the ring, Mark Henry comes out and tries to brawl with Sheamus and gets the upperhand with absolutely NO HEAT. Hear that Vince? NO FUCKING HEAT!! This means Sheamus is getting reactions for his promos and entrance and shouldn't be selling a beatdown from Mark Henry. Push him already.
Alberto Del Rio def. Santino Marella
Del Rio comes out and brags for abit while Ricky Ricardo keeps babbling sum spanish and Santino comes running and throws Del Rio out twice to two nasty looking bumps. Alberto works the arm and taps out Santino.
CM Punk def. John Cena by Disqualification
Punk broken nose and all is taking on Cena, Cena offense, CM Punk offense, Cena gets pissed off and starts hammering on Punk in the corner, ref threatens to DQ him, so what does Cena do? He Ric Flair's Punk in the balls.
Nexus runs out and muscle man Mason Ryan attends to Punk who is clutching his nuts and other two try to get Cena who is immediately passed a chair by Lawler and its clobbering time. Cena ends the show looking all bad boy with his chair and ballshots.
Show kinda blew.
Also made the 2/21/11 vignette so fucking obvious, I'm beginning to think it's not Undertaker and it's a swerve. Or just a huge letdown since Undertaker don't do vignettes and hasn't since 93.
