If you would have told me that the two nights of Wrestlemania that they would have combined for a 10/20 I thought it would be CLASSIC WWE. Like wow, one show's a 6 and one was a 4...
Nah. After seeing this TNA ass show this was a glorious 1/10. This was definitely a memorable trainwreck.
So we start out with the blowoff of one of the worst feuds I've ever seen with Randy Orton vs the MAGICALLY HEALED FIEND in a WRESTLING MATCH, with the Fiend coming out of a "box type structure", per Michael Cole and my first thought of the night was damn, how I miss football. How the commentators for NFL football are such a pile of ass that whenever I watched some random B-show last year when I didn't care about SNF that Michael Cole was "a lively play by play guy!" instead of a dude making fun of how he blew the call on the main event all night last night. Alexa randomly barfs up black goo for no reason because THIS FEUD and that distracts Wyatt and Orton pins him with an RKO and this was mercifully, hilariously over.
I'm not sure what was funnier about this finish though. The fact that they rebranded the Eater of Pins so strongly that they did that infamous Hell in a Cell match where Wyatt was built up to be insanely unbeatable just to job in hilariously anticlimactic fashion like this, and prove yet again that Vince could go full Carter Pewderschmitt and drink a whole smoothie of $100 bills would be a better use of money than Bray Wyatt right now, or that the freaking RKO in this feud is SO GLORIOUSLY OVERPOWERED. You lit the fiend on fire and he STILL CHARGES like a horror movie monster and can't stay down but you hit him with a Cutter and oh boy, now he can't move. And now here's the most WWE ass distraction finish where the dude who survived 6 superkicks and a toolbox and a big ass cartoon hammer and a ladder and fire and being drowned in a swamp just can't survive on RKO. LOL. I want to confine this whole Bray Wyatt universe to its own thing (preferably somewhere in hollywood off my TV) but this actually had consequences later on in the show, as well as setting an embarassingly hilarious tone for the show.
TAMINA HAD SOME OF THE BIGGEST HEAT OF THE NIGHT LOL, and while literally every person was screwing around on their phone during the womens' title match You've gotta love how the random ass Tamina love coinsides with the random ass Tamina highlight match where they built up the OH MY GOODNESS SOMEONE SLAMMED NIA JAX Luger and Yokozuna spot just for Tamina to drop her and botch it before Nattie to taps out to the Clutch. LOL. Check out Nattie's Youtube channel, it's amazing. NEXT
I joked in the thread that Logan Paul looks like a dude I'd shove out of the way leaving Hot Topic at the mall because it was 4:50 and Taco Bell is not keeping $1 drinks around all night and he needs to move his slow ass... as for the match, I kinda LOL that we can't get these two in a one on one match at Mania when they had a built in story with Owens injuring the hell out of the dude and he returns on the main roster but now we have this classic "we don't know what to do with these guys soooooooo back to this!" spot. Good for both of them. Match was fine of course, you've seen it, but based on his faces Logan Paul hasn't seen this or any wrestling match before the way dude was cringing at them suplexes. "Damn, these guys really hurt each other out there? I thought it was fake" Bro you're fake, and the way they canned the hell out of some cheers for the dude just for what felt like an audible being called when Owens went to stun this jackass in the end. This was kinda harmless but somehow Owens vs Sami was worse than everything on night 1 and we went from the best celeb appearance ever to this. If they paid Logan Paul $20 for this it was $40 too much
Riddle got some rolling papers from RVD and Peacock probably tried to live edit that off the show. Sometimes botches make a match better, but for the most part both of these guys are the "I do NOT want to be in the match with these guys!" type of dudes but respectfully, not in the Nia Jax "my life is in danger" way but the "Man, you're gonna have trouble sleeping you're so beat up" way. Mad respect for all the wrestlers who face these guys. And these dudes were so damn stiff with one another and it felt like a moshpit and they kept coming for more, just to play off a botch pretty well and then stiff the LIGHTS out of that boy with that Brogue. I can't hate on these guys too much, but Riddle's character is so annoying that this became cathartic. Vince sucks
hahahahahahaha I love how the story came out that the NIGERIAN DRUM FIGHT was a stip that Big E didn't know what it was a few days ago lol, apparently they had no idea either! We get to the match and they announce what it is... and it's a NO DQ MATCH LOL. That's it. Then Michael Cole has to explain some exaggerated ass explanation and then it's a REGULAR KENDO STICK BATTLE. Can't lie I was getting into this and that Rock Bottom on the steps was awesome! As this hit its peak, E hits the Big ending and LOL THE MOST TNA ASS FINISH. SOME RANDOM ASS DUDE COMES IN FOR THE INTERFERENCE WIN FOR APOLLO LOL. They beat this dude like a drum forever and then he gets this push and heel turn and loses 4 times and then wins the title like this, lol Miz was a more credible champ than Apollo, and this show was such a disaster and I was loving it
then some random band that was in my Spotify recommendations 3 years ago called New Years Day come out and I remember checking out their album for something new and deleting it after 3 songs. I LOVE me some screamo music and she's a powerhouse but man are they not good at it lol. This came across worse than playing the theme, but at least the chick looked hot but this killed the crowd even more than all the damn breaks on this show. Guess they padded up in case of a rain delay, then Asuka and Rhea had a shockingly... lousy match. Not only did it feel like... a weird spot to be in, but the match itself was a lot of trash talking and stalling and I was ready for some high-impact action from these two and it never really came. The pace was too slow and it felt like both these girls are better off picking on barbie dolls than fighting each other. First moment of the show that wasn't even funny, just a sad 2 1/2 star affair
The girl who was on NXT being booked perfectly, telling Charlotte "I wouldnt' even give you a hug" to MASSIVE HEAT from the Full Sail faithful the same week Nikki told Brie "I wish you died in the womb!" to crickets. JOHN CENA ISN'T HERE was worth the price of admission alone. God bless Bayley. The Bellas aren't legends. Though I would have LOVED to see Brie hit some weak ass version of the running knee to Nia to pin her for the tag titles at this point, because LOL
Then... the main event... I don't really know how to feel about. Good match? Absolutely. It was WWE style, it was slow paced and dramatic in the best way. All three guys - most notably the recently turned psycho Edge knows how to play their characters perfectly, they set up big spots and paid them off, as they took the 3rd guy out of the match one at a time in a believable way. I LOVED the Jey Uso thing, mostly, because TLC really highlighted how it doesn't make sense to have a no-DQ match and NOT have interference. It's best to knock that pest out of the way than have him stand around. LOL @ them having a gimmicked chair just so Edge can break the leg and use it for a crossface. Lots of creativity points for that. But as it went on... I found myself looking at Bryan over there giving MULTIPLE kicks to Edge's neck and hating this dude for picking on his injury. I hated Roman for existing. Then Edge takes Bryan's head and puts a chair over it and blasts him with a chair shot to damn near literally kill him + pick on his concussions. Then Jey Uso ran in to break up the pin. As characters, after this sequence, I hated all three of these men so much and they're lucky it was almost the finish, then Roman picks the bones of Bryan's lifeless body after Uso hits Edge for the 1-2-3. Weird match.
As much as he has an out with the Uso interference and didn't becomes superpowered, Reigns comes across as the overpowered character from his all time terrible babyface run, just using all this help because it's easy and not because he needs to. Still, he's literally in there against 2 hall of famers with quality feel good stories if they pick up a W here. I still wonder where this is going. Are they going to just do all of this in the Mania main event to let Cesaro beat him at Summerslam or something? That would freaking RULE, but...
Back to the Fiend thing. The dude is such an overpowered final boss coming out of the first few matches that you're left wondering how on earth you could possibly stop him, then Goldberg happened lol, and now the dude's munching on L's to an RKO in less time than it took to get in your suit and in that stupid "box-type structure". Why do all that superhuman buildup if the babyface isn't going to treat it like an obstacle? It's like when the Demon Balor "couldn't feel pain" in NXT just to job to a Musclebuster off the top rope. That was cool, but after all that build?
What's the point of the super-Roman push.. and what's the point of me typing all these words for 4 people to read them lol
