I am also using a normy scale. I didn't really watch all the matches, sadly, I was just in and out. I was flipping back and forth between homework and a stream, the last two matches being the only exception
Neese vs Murphy: Not sure if Neese is the best pick to dethrone Murphy, but I love him, so I guess at least a guy I enjoy did it
Women's Battle Royal: It was fine, but man, fuck* Carmella. Sarah Logan would've been an amazing winner, a young talent with a possibly bright future, but no, the dancing jobber has to win it. Stupid
*Don't really dislike her, just really annoyed
RTT:
@Grunt Beavie was right. Seeing my boy Curt Hawkins win the titles of my favorite division (tag division, not Raw tag division though) at Wrestlemania was absolutely an orgasm in my heart. 10/10, no, 269/269
AtGMBR: Meh. Braun won. Meh.
Universal: Didn't really like it that much honestly. Lesnar has been champion for two years, since Reigns only had it for like a month, and your going to end it with a ten minute match to KICK OFF the show? Stupid. The match was fine I guess. It was missing that thing that makes Lesnar matches special, the, "Will he actually lose?!" quality. Wrestlemania Lesnar matches are the worst, since they always lack that.
Styles vs Orton: Way more boring than it should have been and the wrong guy won. Orton can face Kofi, Styles can't. Orton was really good tonight, too. He's either Orton or Boreton, and tonight, he was definitely Orton. So crisp and clean
SdTT: Now THIS is my favorite division! It wasn't completely fire, but it was damn good. I give it a thumbs up, but only a single thumb.
FCAw: Good match with a great finish. That is all.
WTT: Good match, better than expected, but that ending was fire. Never ever would've guessed IIconics would take it, but I'm so happy they did! Comentary put them over really well too!
Speaking of which, obligatory fuck Corey Graves here. Least favorite commentator of all time, even still. The amount of good moment he almost ruined trying to heel it up. I get it, you cheer the bad guy, but there's a time and a place and he never chooses the right of each.
WWEC: I would give it MotN if not for one major flaw. The WWE Championship was ringside. If you went through the trouble of bringing it out, of course Kofi is winning. It ruined the suspense, but it was still a really nice moment. Not to be a hipster, but I've been pushing for this since MitB last year, soooo...
Just really excited to see what Kofi, and by extension the New Day as a whole, will do with the singles title, given their sharing mentality.
US: It's too bad Rey way hurt. He could've been a grand slam champion otherwise.
Roman vs Drew: Skipped it. Not on purpose of course, I'm not Greivousing it up here, I simply got too in the grove of homework and missed the match.
NHB: Easily MotN, easily. These two lads had a lot of time and they used every single moment. Full of beautiful spots and emotions. These old guys, man, it's weird. I don't want to root for them, but the old style of wrestling just sucks me in so much more than the modern style. I love fast paced action, but nothing beats raw emotion like old schoolers have. When they mix the two, like Gargano/Ciampa, Gargano/Almas, and New Day/Usos, that's the top of the line class. It really is too bad they don't have a lot of good people for that. The resthold style of wrestling tries to do it, but it just doesn't work.
This, this worked. 10/10
Angle Retirement: It wasn't a bad match, but this isn't what Kurt deserves. I didn't want Cena, I was fine with Corbin - albeit a tad bit disappointed - but a mediocre match is not worthy of one of the greatest technical wrestlers of all time. It was a slap in the face, honestly.
IC: Meh. The suicide spear was badass, but that's about it.
The Main Event: Great match with a couple of botches, the biggest one being Ronda saying "You can do it, I believe in you" during the triple powerbomb spot (takes you right out of it), and I am so happy that Becky won, but that finish....... That was either the biggest botch in history, or I want that agent fired and blacklisted forever. Not only did Becky win with an awful crucifix, but Ronda got right back up after! It was like the Aries/Johnny Impact thing but worse! Plus, the commentators straight up said they were disappointed! What a great ending, "Disappointment".
Also, side note, garbage stage, maybe the worse stage I've ever seen. One single screen? No props, not minitron, no walls? Just one single screen? Lazy, plus it looked bad on top of that. F- -. Also, I skipped all the promos, since I didn't have audio for most of the show. Not completely mute, as you can tell from my fuck Corey moment, but the majority.
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Overall, it was a mixed bag. There was more good than bad, but a painful amount of mediocre, and so many little flaws like the Kofi title spoiler and the Becky ending added up. Overall, I give it a 7/10
Time for BEAV MELTZER'S FLAWLESS RATING SYSTEM! PRE SHOW NO COUNTS LET'S GO!
WWE Universal Championship: Champion Brock Lesnar vs Seth Rollins
Short, but it was a shocking
moment to start the show with a Universal Title match... and a Title change none the less. Here's hoping a babyface World Champ Seth can be the shot in the arm Raw needs with that title. Plus the Triple Curb Stomp was pretty hype.
AJ Styles vs Randall Randall Keith
(tentative rating) My stream was lagging like balls for this match and I about a third of it, so this is a rating I got from asking people. But from what I saw, the two worked well together and the counters between the two were creative.
Smackdown Tag Team Championship: Champions the Usos vs the Bar vs Aleister Black and Ricochet vs Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev
For being around ten minutes, this was fast paced and was entertaining throughout it. Even Black and Ricochet, for not being a "proper team," they have great in ring chemistry together as Takeover and tonight have shown. WWE, invest in these guys both as a team and SOLO. The Giant Swing/Beating Ram thingy Sheamus does for like a solid minute was also fucking amazing.
Falls Count Anywhere: Shane McMahon vs the Miz
This was a fun brawl with a cool ending, and with Shane winning that way, it doesn't hurt Miz and it gives slimy heel Shane a reason to brag until someone shuts his face. Miz's Dad also gets an honourable mention for getting involved. Fucking genius.
Fatal Four-way Women's Tag Championship: Champions Boss and Hug Connection vs the Iconics vs Tamina Snuka and Nia Jax vs Natalya and Beth Phoenix
Considering the reputation of two of the people being a dangerous person in the wrong way and being boring, they put on a decent showing and the IIconics with a sneak win was nice and gives two of the best talkers in the women's division something to do.
WWE Championship: Champion Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston
This gets my highest rating. It was the MOTN, and a top contender for WWE's MOTY, even considering NXT. A genuine moment that gets you
right in the feels. Billy Graham be damned, I was VERY HAPPY with this match. Kofi, you finally reached the mountain. One of the most satisfying moments I've had watching WWE main roster in years and I hope Kofi's run does well.
United States Championship: Samoa Joe vs Rey Mysterio
Unrated on the Beavie scale.
Unlike the other short match of Brock vs Seth, this is hard to rate. Considering Rey was probably hurt, they had to get Joe to squash him. Good for Joe, however, it wasn't Impactful enough to get a clear sign of a rating. Also when in a 1-minute match and your stream lags for about 40 seconds of it, I literally barely watched it. I can't rate something I essentially didn't watch.
Elias Concert and John Cena's Segment
Putting these here since I think it was around this time on the show, give or take a match or two, but this was a very fun segment. From Elias playing multiple instruments and John Cena pulling the clock back with his mid-life crisis and rapping like it's 2003 all over again, brilliant. The Golden Shovel line was great, adding a bit of the newer "meta" Cena.
Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre
This was a simple match but had a kinda feel-good moment with Roman winning. But it was hurt a bit due to its placing on the card with the crowd being a bit tired. However, don't worry, they'll get a nap VERY SOON!
No Holds Barred Match: Triple H vs Batista Triple H Retires if he Lost
I almost gave it the one lower on my scale, but the early bits of the match were great where Triple H went very close to CZW territory and they did better than most people their age would. So I gave them a bit of due considering.
However... THIS MATCH WAS WAY TOO GODDAMN LONG! If they cut about 8 minutes of their like 25-minute match I think it would have been better. Triple H, with all due respect, you should retire, match result be damned. You can't go like you used to and you're better served behind the scenes these days.
Barron Snorbin vs Kurt Angle
This match was literally forgotten in the post above. Tells how rememberable the LAST MATCH FOR KURT ANGLE was! Just was better than some of the Kurt Angle retirement tour matches in that Kurt didn't fuck up as much, but his Wrestlemania match last year would have been his better Swan song than this. This and the last match were the low points of the show.
Intercontinental Championship: Champion Bobby Lashley vs Demon Finn Balor
This may be a bit generous, but it was quick enough not to drag, the alter ego of Finn Balor remains strong with an emphatic win, and the Powerbomb on Bobby was fucking cool. It was a palent cleanser after two very rough matches.
WWE Women's Championship Triple Threat: Raw Champion Ronda Rousey vs Smackdown Champion Charlotte vs Becky Lynch: Winner Takes All
The one thing holding this back was the sloppy finish, as seen above. If maybe rather than completing the move Becky just sling into the crucifix to make it cleaner, or Ronda kept her shoulders down (or even a transition into a Dis-arm-her and a tap out) that would have made that ending
mwah. Ignoring that, it was a better main event than 32, 33, and 34. Second best match as a whole of the night didn't really drag and went by quick for its length with very little dead space. Plus the best outcome happened with the winner and the fact that Becky is the first woman to pin Ronda, potential botch or not, is a big thing.
Giving it an
8/10 on the Normy's scale. Three Wrestlemania worthy title world title changes (I count the Women's as a top title considering it just MAIN EVENTED MANIA), and several nice gems in the middle, only held back by men holding on to what they have despite being way past their prime.
Also the first Wrestlemania since
2000 without one Mark Callaway on it. Let that sink in, everyone.
God I love those emojis