Rate RAW December 14th, 2015

[Snowman1]

I'm loving Raw these days. I absolutely do not give a damn when there's stuff like Breeze just losing clean and whatever the heel the girls are doing right now, also when I see the New Day act like complete babyfaces and the supposed babyfaces attack them because they're getting jiggy afterwards is just so stupid I laugh, just as I did at Dreamer/Strowman last week or Truth and Bo being the biggest geeks I've ever seen. That said, this show not only had this type of stuff, but the ECW match was actually pretty good, the Ambrose/Owens stuff is fine build and damn, that Roman thing was great. I'm not the biggest fan of the guy, I'm not even sure if he should be the next ace, but he's an acceptable choice if they do it right. And what these geeks were unable to do for an entire year they did just like that, in two days. Granted it's not exactly the same people, but they got him to win the belt and get cheered by the same crowd that HATED the man in January. I think he even spoke too much, but he didn't embarass himself this time, and when we get some heels who are actually over and the face overcomes them, it works! Great. I'll give them a thumbs up because it may have taken then forever, but they did it. Do I trust them to actually keep booking him decently until, say, WM or even RR? No. Is there a big chance the dude will cut an awful 20 minute promo next week? Yes. They may screw it up terribly as they are known to do, but this week I'll give it to them. Good job WWE!

Hey now, Raw's been perfect for Leo the last few weeks! I can just imagine one of our Skype chats coming up with the so-bad-it's-good shit we said last week. I mean, we had a bunch of heel chicks arguing with each other and Del Rio getting pissy over tripping over a motor scooter and a fat swampman vowing to kill Tommy Dreamer, but... You heard Bryan's amazing rant about how it took them 11 months to figure out "Hmm, we're trying to get this 260 pound Samoan badass with muscles and devastating offense over... maybe we should let him beat peoples' asses?" Amazing.

I love how this show took my cynicism and threw it right in my face. Oh, here's Stephanie to open the show, guess Roman's gonna be killed by the end of it... Oh, no? Somebody (besides Ryback that one time that nobody remembers) actually stood up to her and got in her face? YES!!! Alrighty here's VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON and a "Youuuuuuu're Fiiiiiiiiiired" is also great - especially when the last fired stip was ACTUALLY FOLLOWED - no more seeing Motherfucking Kane all over our TV every monday night - and I rolled my eyes with the traditional "Y'all want a title match RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!!!" - this shit again how many times are we OH WE'RE ACTUALLY GETTING THE MATCH! WTF!!!!?!?!?!?!? Thanks, Roman making a little balls joke that was actually funny? Swear we turned on a parallel universe edition of Raw.

Hell I can't even tell you what this match was like, it's just cool to see how Roman's progressed. "Lets turn him into Cena 2.0... yeahhhh, probably not the best decision... Ooooh! What about sticking him with Ambrose? Not if he'll be a singles star? Okay, uhhhh... trying to make Daniel Bryan fail only got him more over, so lets have" Who would have thought the answer was to turn Roman Reigns into Bayley. Lets get him an I'm a Hugger T-shirt. (Don't actually do that.)

Seriously this was like that Eva Marie match except with bonus cynicism because it's Raw and Vince is sitting out there and I'm just twiddling my thumbs like "Okay, so we've got a DQ on Raw woot, lets just rip it off like a bandaid, come on League of Nations, lets get to the exciting DQ full of post-match stuff that matters! Woohoo, ending Raw with a DQ lets ge-OH VINCE WHAT DID YOU! THE LEAGUE! YOU CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS THE REF ISN'T oh my goodness could we actually get a clean finYES YES YES ROMAN WINS GO SUCK IT IN YOUR FACE HAHAHAHAHAHA IN YOUR FUCKING FACE YAYYYY FINISHES and then Triple H will be back around Wrestlemania time with a VENGEANCE and Roman vs ANGRY GOD is the best and...

This was great. So great, in fact, that I went back to watch it again and saw it actually was a pretty good match, haha.

As for other stuff, the hardcore match was actually a lot of fun, and Erick Rowan going from "LOL someone's gotta job, and... uhh, you kinda suck dude" to 300 POUND FLYING THORUFF was glorious. The Divas did stuff, and Ambrose and Ziggler had a fun Pringles match and hopefully we can be more content with this while the Terminator sets his sights on Roman. Also New Day talks. New. Day talks. New. Day talks. Liked that serious promo there. Can we push Kalisto yet? I mean, they cut Dorito from Hulu yet again. They know. They freaking know.

 

[Roadster]

Hey now, Raw's been perfect for Leo the last few weeks! I can just imagine one of our Skype chats coming up with the so-bad-it's-good shit we said last week. I mean, we had a bunch of heel chicks arguing with each other and Del Rio getting pissy over tripping over a motor scooter and a fat swampman vowing to kill Tommy Dreamer, but... You heard Bryan's amazing rant about how it took them 11 months to figure out "Hmm, we're trying to get this 260 pound Samoan badass with muscles and devastating offense over... maybe we should let him beat peoples' asses?" Amazing.

I love how this show took my cynicism and threw it right in my face. Oh, here's Stephanie to open the show, guess Roman's gonna be killed by the end of it... Oh, no? Somebody (besides Ryback that one time that nobody remembers) actually stood up to her and got in her face? YES!!! Alrighty here's VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON and a "Youuuuuuu're Fiiiiiiiiiired" is also great - especially when the last fired stip was ACTUALLY FOLLOWED - no more seeing Motherfucking Kane all over our TV every monday night - and I rolled my eyes with the traditional "Y'all want a title match RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!!!" - this shit again how many times are we OH WE'RE ACTUALLY GETTING THE MATCH! WTF!!!!?!?!?!?!? Thanks, Roman making a little balls joke that was actually funny? Swear we turned on a parallel universe edition of Raw.

Hell I can't even tell you what this match was like, it's just cool to see how Roman's progressed. "Lets turn him into Cena 2.0... yeahhhh, probably not the best decision... Ooooh! What about sticking him with Ambrose? Not if he'll be a singles star? Okay, uhhhh... trying to make Daniel Bryan fail only got him more over, so lets have" Who would have thought the answer was to turn Roman Reigns into Bayley. Lets get him an I'm a Hugger T-shirt. (Don't actually do that.)

Seriously this was like that Eva Marie match except with bonus cynicism because it's Raw and Vince is sitting out there and I'm just twiddling my thumbs like "Okay, so we've got a DQ on Raw woot, lets just rip it off like a bandaid, come on League of Nations, lets get to the exciting DQ full of post-match stuff that matters! Woohoo, ending Raw with a DQ lets ge-OH VINCE WHAT DID YOU! THE LEAGUE! YOU CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS THE REF ISN'T oh my goodness could we actually get a clean finYES YES YES ROMAN WINS GO SUCK IT IN YOUR FACE HAHAHAHAHAHA IN YOUR FUCKING FACE YAYYYY FINISHES and then Triple H will be back around Wrestlemania time with a VENGEANCE and Roman vs ANGRY GOD is the best and...

This was great. So great, in fact, that I went back to watch it again and saw it actually was a pretty good match, haha.

As for other stuff, the hardcore match was actually a lot of fun, and Erick Rowan going from "LOL someone's gotta job, and... uhh, you kinda suck dude" to 300 POUND FLYING THORUFF was glorious. The Divas did stuff, and Ambrose and Ziggler had a fun Pringles match and hopefully we can be more content with this while the Terminator sets his sights on Roman. Also New Day talks. New. Day talks. New. Day talks. Liked that serious promo there. Can we push Kalisto yet? I mean, they cut Dorito from Hulu yet again. They know. They freaking know.

Snow: 1
Tsar: 1

 

[Snowman1]

Snow: 1
Tsar: 1

I'd love to reply with "Well for right now Tsar 1, Snow .66" since a random Raw review is 2/3 of a PPV review, plus this came like a day later and you had plenty of time to get yours up. Noob. :tough:

But then again, congrats, you beat me to reviewing what was going in the most pointless PPV of all time, So lets give us both like half a point and call it even. tunga:

 

[Roadster]

I'd love to reply with "Well for right now Tsar 1, Snow .66" since a random Raw review is 2/3 of a PPV review, plus this came like a day later and you had plenty of time to get yours up. Noob. :tough:

But then again, congrats, you beat me to reviewing what was going in the most pointless PPV of all time, So lets give us both like half a point and call it even. tunga:

:ricardo:Three rules of life, Snow. Don't piss in the wind; don't eat shit and don't dump on a man's review of TLC 2015. :joey:

 

[CM Punk]

I'd also like to point out that they were in the same arena where Roman won the Rumble. The only difference is that the crowd popped so hard when he won the title, instead of getting booed to oblivion. Starting and closing the year on the opposite side of the spectrum, it must've made the moment even sweeter for him.

I feel like Royal Rumble crowds are basically the same as Mania. But still, Philly did boo him the last time he was there I think.

 

[Zany Clowny]

I'll give it a generous 8. It was entertaining, not perfect...but, entertaining. Great seeing Vince again, that Wyatts/ECW rematch was better than the original, and the main event was well done.

Still, though. It's Roman Reigns...like, meh. It's always gonna be meh for me, lol.

 

[Prince Bálor]

I feel like Royal Rumble crowds are basically the same as Mania. But still, Philly did boo him the last time he was there I think.

Or, it's just that the Philly smarks only go to PPVs. lol

It's awesome Reigns got cheered, though.

 

[C.M. Shaddix]

8/10

Good:
Roman winning, right place right time, In Philly on an episode on Monday Night Raw
Vince nailed it for once
Extreme Rules Tag
I'm down for Neville to feud with Miz and maybe WWE to push Miz as a heel tired of disrespectful and annoying, as well as Neville getting pushed in the process too
Kevin Owens being Kevin FUCKING Owens

Bad:
Adam Rose
Divas
Truth and Dallas never had to happen, not like these 2 will ever go anywhere now
Ziggler needs something for his career godammit.
The 2 flat matches for TLC were in a tag match, time for all 4 to enter different feuds that work best for them

 

[Leo C]

Spoiler

Hey now, Raw's been perfect for Leo the last few weeks! I can just imagine one of our Skype chats coming up with the so-bad-it's-good shit we said last week. I mean, we had a bunch of heel chicks arguing with each other and Del Rio getting pissy over tripping over a motor scooter and a fat swampman vowing to kill Tommy Dreamer, but... You heard Bryan's amazing rant about how it took them 11 months to figure out "Hmm, we're trying to get this 260 pound Samoan badass with muscles and devastating offense over... maybe we should let him beat peoples' asses?" Amazing.

I love how this show took my cynicism and threw it right in my face. Oh, here's Stephanie to open the show, guess Roman's gonna be killed by the end of it... Oh, no? Somebody (besides Ryback that one time that nobody remembers) actually stood up to her and got in her face? YES!!! Alrighty here's VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON and a "Youuuuuuu're Fiiiiiiiiiired" is also great - especially when the last fired stip was ACTUALLY FOLLOWED - no more seeing Motherfucking Kane all over our TV every monday night - and I rolled my eyes with the traditional "Y'all want a title match RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!!!" - this shit again how many times are we OH WE'RE ACTUALLY GETTING THE MATCH! WTF!!!!?!?!?!?!? Thanks, Roman making a little balls joke that was actually funny? Swear we turned on a parallel universe edition of Raw.

Hell I can't even tell you what this match was like, it's just cool to see how Roman's progressed. "Lets turn him into Cena 2.0... yeahhhh, probably not the best decision... Ooooh! What about sticking him with Ambrose? Not if he'll be a singles star? Okay, uhhhh... trying to make Daniel Bryan fail only got him more over, so lets have" Who would have thought the answer was to turn Roman Reigns into Bayley. Lets get him an I'm a Hugger T-shirt. (Don't actually do that.)

Seriously this was like that Eva Marie match except with bonus cynicism because it's Raw and Vince is sitting out there and I'm just twiddling my thumbs like "Okay, so we've got a DQ on Raw woot, lets just rip it off like a bandaid, come on League of Nations, lets get to the exciting DQ full of post-match stuff that matters! Woohoo, ending Raw with a DQ lets ge-OH VINCE WHAT DID YOU! THE LEAGUE! YOU CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS THE REF ISN'T oh my goodness could we actually get a clean finYES YES YES ROMAN WINS GO SUCK IT IN YOUR FACE HAHAHAHAHAHA IN YOUR FUCKING FACE YAYYYY FINISHES and then Triple H will be back around Wrestlemania time with a VENGEANCE and Roman vs ANGRY GOD is the best and...

This was great. So great, in fact, that I went back to watch it again and saw it actually was a pretty good match, haha.

As for other stuff, the hardcore match was actually a lot of fun, and Erick Rowan going from "LOL someone's gotta job, and... uhh, you kinda suck dude" to 300 POUND FLYING THORUFF was glorious. The Divas did stuff, and Ambrose and Ziggler had a fun Pringles match and hopefully we can be more content with this while the Terminator sets his sights on Roman. Also New Day talks. New. Day talks. New. Day talks. Liked that serious promo there. Can we push Kalisto yet? I mean, they cut Dorito from Hulu yet again. They know. They freaking know.

I did hear Bryan's rant. I'm actually really curious to hear what he has to say about Raw, can't imagine it'll be very far from "they did it right for once!", along with hopefully a Vinny rant regarding the Bellas' alignment and Becky being dumb.

 

[Mr. Roman Empire]

Ratings apparently were up 27% from last week. McMahon is the GENETIC JACKHAMMER!

 

[Green Jesus]

Just finished raw. I'm a little conflicted. From a writing stand-point it felt really jarring to have sheamus just hand a title shot to roman for...what? Felt out of character.

On the other hand... OMFG A TITLE CHANGE ON RAW THAT IS NOT MITB? JESUS CHRIST, FINALLY.

I regret skimming through most of the matches(got a test tomorrow and I'm already procastinating like a bitch), so maybe this took away from my excitement. Overrall I think I will need to sit on a corner and reflect, as I was 99% sure roman would win at the elimination chamber or some shit. Maybe I have some variant of the Stockholm syndrome where I'm so used to seeing the same predicable shit every week that something a little fresh sort of resets my brain.

?/10

 

[Swift]

I liked Reigns vs. Sheamus. It felt old school and it was suspenseful af.