The Miz and Damien Mizdow. One of the best storylines in WWE in 2014. Easily - sure even D'Z would agree, even if "only by default" - the best storyline going into Wrestlemania. A storyline star out of this jabroni Sandow that he actually got cheered at Royal Rumble 2015. A storyline that actually got the fans invested and stop bitching and enjoy something. Something involving the Miz. WWE, you caught lightning in the bottle... how did you screw this up???
I marked pretty hard when he split from Miz at Wrestlemania. Marked so hard you'd think I was watching a company that knows how to book wrestling. Weeks and weeks I've seen Sandow be tortured and Sandow be conflicted and Sandow having to balance his allegiances and standing up for himself... and I didn't even care that he was the most Blue kayfabe man alive who just "signed his own death warrant" by leaving himself alone with Big Show, the turn was still great.
Since then, it's been a match on Raw that was just thrown out there in the death spot, then another one, then Marine 4 plugs, then Summer Rae got involved, then it's a match for the Miz brand and nobody, maybe Sharpy, cares anymore. And at the end of the day, you give us a boring, predictable stipulation to make the match boring and predictable and since everything is a swerve these days really nothing is a swerve and everyone waited for Summer to turn on Mizdow and... Ta-dah! Summer turned on Mizdow. CLIMAX. Often in wrestling that would be okay as a plot device, but we know this'll be forgotten in a month. Hell, Miz just went over who was one of your most over babyfaces just to LEAVE and all you accomplished with this whole angle is making Senhor Perfect's nightmares come true. Sandow's just gonna go back to jobbing, because it's what you've done every time. It's what you've conditioned us to believe. Maybe that's why you hear crickets in the audience during your marathon of a show that's 2 hours too long.
The worst part is, the main event angle is one built around someone who pledged loyalty to a cause just to be conflicted and have no idea whether or not the cause of "doing the bidding of the Authority" is worth it anymore. So now, if anyone wants to get inv... I mean...If I buy enough boxes of Cap'n Crunch to piece together a Stargate out of the toys inside (complete with Plutonium Thingie from specialty marked packages of Oops, All Berries, part of this complete breakfast) to travel lightyears away, through dimensions and galaxies into the deepest, darkest parts of a parallel universe where you can find the ONE PERSON who would even consider giving the slightest piece of a fuck about Kane worrying about his status in the Authority, they don't now. Are you really going to get behind Kane wondering whether or not he should stand up for himself or keep laying down for Seth after we just watched Mizdow stand up for himself in grand fashion just to get thrown out of a battle royal, double-crossed by a chick he just met, and job? No, you're not. (I mean, you don't care already, but...)
Okay, bigger issue. I'm usually into Orton vs Rollins, and I'm LOVING Orton as a face whenever I can watch him, because in the modern era of when you just kinda sit and nod through wrestling matches waiting for the finish, then see cool shit just to smile and grab another Pringle and half-heartedly say "Good match", Orton matches can end in any moment, that's the beauty of the RKO Outta Nowhere... so.... you ban the RKO. And design the feud around the inner struggle of Kane. And put him out there to solve the dilemma you've created of 99% of stupid cage matches ending in interference. So I can expect a smoz finish and Kane to step up and help Orton or maybe Rollins or not do shit or...
someone insert a Lucha plug here I've gotta finish all this Captain Crunch