Anyway, lets start this rant off with there being a big difference between "a good match" and "a match you want to see." I'm sure in a vacuum, Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins was a pretty good match. Hell, I liked the finish of Ambrose getting ever so close to grabbing the title despite being buried in a pile of rubble with a completely broken body a few minutes earlier. But I don't care whatsoever about star ratings with shit like this. This is the biggest feud you've had other than WWE vs It's Own Fans for the entire freakin' Reality Era. These were the best buddies who we had so much fun watching destroy everything for over a year and a half before Seth Rollins doublecrossed his friends. Ambrose wanted to rip Seth's nose and move it to where his ears are and shove his eyeballs down his throat and GUARANTEED that Seth wouldn't cash in, until the day where he wasn't there to do it. And Ambrose even brought up getting screwed over by THE DEMON KANE on this day last year and the attack on the cinderblocks and the amazing brawls they had last year. This feud has been money! So good that I actually bought your stupid Network just to show my support for it. Now, you stick a guy in Ambrose who specializes in chaotic brawls and a Rollins who's great at fast-paced action and give them a Ladder Match which was built on the backs of guys like Edge and the Hardys doing death-defying shit off ladders and... Damn, I couldn't wait to see these guys go to war... and we got this?
Fuck babyface fire! I don't give a shit about the heart of a champion! Take your "resiliency" and shove it up your ass! Forget storytelling! Time and a place for all of that, sure. Do that shit with Rockstar Spud while this dude gets his hands on that weasely motherfucker and unleash carnage for all the sick, twisted shit he's done! I wanna see these two guys throw bombs at each other! I wanna see backdrops off ladders through other ladders onto other ladders and backdrops onto ladders and teabagged faces! This was the place for intensity, not "A four-star match" Lets turn the tide from having to Meltzer-speak about everything to being kids again and eating this shit up without having to wait for Brock to come back because THESE TWO CAN DO IT. THEY DID IT BEFORE.
Maybe it just went too long to have that kind of match, but whatever. Props to WWE, still, for paying off this "I can do it on my own" chat Rollins can't get away from. That, my friends, is a good thing. Still, so much of this match just had me checking my phone since WWE conditioned me to have expectations for this. Silly me...
As for the rest of the show... and speaking of having expectations: How about those Divas? That was easily the second best match of the show, and... Hell, Paige said before that she dedicated the match to Dusty... so then they pulled a Dusty Finish. If that was what they were going for here, who the hell are we to complain? Actually, you all didn't care about how this match finished anyway, so why get upset about it? Still, these two had a legit good match and deserve a ton of credit.
speaking of getting upset about things... Sheamus... won... MITB... :sad:
Anyway, maybe having Reigns winning was too predictable. Whatever, that was the way I hoped they'd go since there were so, so many interesting possibilities! He can betray Ambrose! He can ruin Seth's moment of glory! He can get his revenge on Lesnar! All of a sudden the guy who, at Wrestlemania, had no story at all besides being the NEXT TOP GUY had all these cool arcs he could go down! Granted, he didn't really need it and they need to get another strong heel going and Sheamus is the only one with any chance at this point, but... Who wants another Sheamus push? Put your hand down, no you don't. Even Dolph's would have loved to see Reigns here. And again, where was the intensity of this MITB? Maybe I've been watching too much LUG, but two matches later all I could remember was one powerbomb, the RKO barrage, and that awesome Zigzag. Typical Ziggler! The match was... good? But MITB is one of those shows we look forward to every year for utter chaos and wonder what kind of awesome, death-defying shit Neville and Kofi and Ziggler will pull out of their ass, or how the power guys will wind up punishing them, and it's become another annual staple where we just kinda nod at the end and say "Yep, that was pretty good" before we grab another Pringle and check our phones for any unread texts for the girls we pretend actually like us.
Also, BRAY WYATT INTERFERES? Holllly shit where do I even begin. Reigns winning would have been so cool and so interesting! So now he's stuck with The New Face of Uninteresting. Randomly interfere in match. Talk a bunch of bullshit nobody listens to anymore in promos. Opponent wonders what the hell's going on. Have random matches that lead to nothing. Job. Job again. Leave for 2 months. Do the same shit again. Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, so much for those cool story arcs... but pushing that fresh new talent in Sheamus... that works too, I suppose. I still like the Wyatt character in theory, I'll just believe in it going somewhere when I see it. And no, putting Harper and Rowan with him won't fix that. Putting Bo Dallas with him won't fix that. Hell, I'd rather see Bo Dallas as the Awkward Fourth White Guy in New Day doing Clap-clap...Clap to their Clap...Clap-Clap and lovably screwing everything up at this point.
Speaking of girls pretending to like someone: Hi, Cena!
And with all this stuff that I thought was disappointing - albeit pretty good, and I don't really blame you for enjoying more - Kevin Owens vs John Cena had all the expectations in the world and wound up living up to every one. This was amazing! I loved every cocky Owens move. I loved every moment of frustration from Cena. I loved every big move and near fall and jumped out of my chair and... YES! If you didn't see this match, stop reading this and go back and watch it. You'll love it.
Should Owens have won this match? Absolutely. However, Cena winning... Look at it this way. Their first match was these two just throwing all the biggest moves they could at one another until one of them got a pin, and Owens won. Clean. This match, they both threw bombs at one another, Cena had to try new moves, got visibly frustrated while Owens got more cocky, and Cena pulled it out in the end just like Owens did before. Owens lost NOTHING here. He's Cena's equal... possibly even better after the postmatch attack. That scares me, because Cena Wanting Revenge is WWE equivalent of Pickle Flavored Potato Chips.
There ya go, guys!
