Just finished forcing myself to watch it and as always I will now come on here to express my over-analytical and elaborate thoughts on each and every match, as I compile my list of best WWE PPV's and PPV matches. As always, I don't have a firm grasp on when to shut the hell up, so let's not make this introduction any longer than it needs to be . . .
Extreme Rules Review
Y2J's Rematch Against Fandingoatemybabio
Meh.
Match Rating: 5/10
The Shield
This match was really not that much better than the opener, I do think once Kofi hit the Trouble In Paradise it picked up a bit but not really enough to justify giving it higher than a five but that's speaking more objectively. You see unlike the opener, I actually care about Dean Ambrose. I never cared/liked Fandingoatemybabio every since I saw him way back when as Johnny Curtis (hence why I refer to him as Fandingoatemybabio). Therefore, I had a bit more invested in this match and while it was predictable and not really that much of a better match from a technical standpoint, the fact that I actually cared did make an impact (albeit a small one) on how much I enjoyed this bout.
Match Rating: 6/10
Get Your Strap On!
Well, that was fun. Honestly this was one of my favorite matches of the night because it was just fun. A wise new United States Champion once said "wrestling's suppose to be fun because if you really think about it it's fucking stupid," and normally I neglect that but not here. It was just fun. There's nothing else to it, nothing is really at stake. Like, Henry's not coming out of this match any worse because Sheamus can touch four corners faster than him. This kind of just exemplifies that thought that wrestlings just suppose to be fun.
Match Rating: 7/10
The I Quitastrophe
As the first match made it clear, this actually wasn't going to be as analytical or elaborate thought expressing as my previous ones and a lot of that has to do with my apathetic attitude towards WWE but it also has to do with this show just not having much to discuss. Luckily, this match proves to be the exception as holy crap was it bad. Firstly, and this isn't fair but it really hurts it knowing what could have been. The Shield & Dolph Ziggler are about the only two things I care about, and even Dolph's been slipping due to the AJ disease but I actually was somewhat looking forward to that triple threat ladder match. Del Rio vs. Swagger, I've seen it before and neither of those men are well-known for being able to mix things up to make things feel different, at least not well. Even before the finish, I was not enjoying this match. The best moments were when I felt they were just rehashing stuff from their previous bouts which sadly wasn't most of it. My main problem pre-instareplay was the shear abundance of attempted victories. I understand the psychology behind that and it can work well for non-I Quit matches but hearing "Do you want to quit?" followed by grunting/heavy breathing before saying, "No," five times in the first three minutes and then continuing at that rate is just annoying.
But let's get to the terrible finish but let's ignore that Instant Replay crap since it's retardness speaks for itself. I had problems even before that, mainly why did throwing in the towel even work? I haven't been paying attention since pay me no mind if I just missed some important character development but isn't Ricardo just his personal ring announcer & friend? The logic behind a manager doing it is that the wrestler becomes their client, they sign over to that. The manager aids the wrestler's in his career and it becomes a mutual beneficial business relationship. Logically the manager would have the power to make decisions for the wrestler, it goes along with the job. However, Ricardo is an employee/friend of Del Rio, why does he have the power to make decisions for him? What's his legal right to do so? I mean, have you ever walked into your boss's office while he was having a meeting and try making his decision for him? I mean he may listen to you but he still has to be the one that makes the decision. That shouldn't have counted but of course it's not as bad as the Instant Replay which is still awful even if it is a isolated incident (and please, let this be an isolated incident).
Match Rating: 3/10
The Shield: Redux
Match of the night easily, to the surprise of no one. Even though it was quite obvious that The Shield was winning (not that any result wasn't predictable), at least it had a few false falls that I thought was it. Just a great tag team match, where everyone got a chance to shine, some nice double teams, and the perfect result. It was a very solid bout.
Match Rating: 8/10
Punt Kick
This match was very boring outside of three things. I) The title, II) Orton's corner punches (because he was clearly not hitting anywhere near Big Show's head and making these high pitched girly grunts during it, twas funny) & III) the ladder spot was alright. Otherwise, it was just boring, not a surprise consider that Big Show was involved.
Match Rating: 4/10
LFS
Okay, passable, not terrible (though the end started heading to this direction). Had some nice moments, I didn't mind the pace, but overall a forgettable bout and probably the worst Last Man Standing match I've ever seen. Again, not much to say about this. Oh, and the "F" means whatever you want it to, for me it's "Fuck".
Match Rating: 6/10
Steel Cage
I don't exactly know how I feel about this. It's kind of a double-edged sword. The focal point on this match centered around Brock sustaining a leg injury that he gained earlier in the match. Seeing Brock in a position that I don't think I ever seen him in before made the match a bit more interested but it also made it more boring and kind of less about the match. With the former, it just wasn't really entertaining seeing Brock on one-leg most of the time, I actually enjoyed the match quite a bit prior to him "hurting" his leg but afterward it just kind of became boring even though it was kind of neat to see Lesnar in that position. For the latter, I don't really remember anything about the match after the point and before Trips get's the hidden Sledgehammer and I just watched it. The only thing that stuck out was Lesnar's injury, it stopped feeling like a match, as I (and the commentators to a much lesser extent) really focused on Lesnar being "hurt" and how he's faring with that. The ending wasn't great but it was a great result. I think I'll give it a 5, because I was bored through most of the match, even though it did have parts I liked about it.
Match Rating: 5/10
PPV Rating: 5.5/10
Rankings
PPV's
I. Elimination Chamber ~ 6/10
II. Extreme Rules ~ 5.5/10
III. Royal Rumble ~ 4.9/10
IV. WrestleMania XXIX ~ 3.8/10
Matches
I. The Shield vs. The Justice League (Cena, Sheamus, & Ryback): Elimination Chamber ~ 9/10
II. WWE Title, The Rock (c) vs. CM Punk: Elimination Chamber ~ 8/10
III. Tag Titles, The Shield (Reigns & Rollins) vs. Team Hell No, Tornado Tag: Extreme Rules ~ 8/10
IV. Jericho vs. Bryan vs. Swagger vs. Kane vs. Orton vs. Henry, Elimination Chamber: Elimination Chamber ~ 8/10
V. Sheamus vs. Mark Henry, Strap: Extreme Rules ~ 7/10
