"I was shocked to find out YOU ARE ACTUALLY MARRIED! But she's a dork like you so congrats, we have two losers together. How adorable?"
"Don't tell her about Miss Bimbo head who was so dumb she didn't read my own Twitter bio that says I have a degree in Business."
"It's fine. They'll just get divorced in a wrestling ring. Then he'll remarry with the other girl. Then she'll get tired of him and then divorce, the two new losers will be best friends ranting about their loser ex-husband and they live happily ever after."
"Wait, I got this. And then, he'll find a tag team to fight them, the tag team will get tired of him, and they will have a loser keeps Patriot match!"
"And Patriot is in a Shark Cage because why not?"
"Brilliant! Love you, dear. ❤ "
"Love you too, baby ❤"
"Man, we are so smart we should be running a wrestling company!"
"Nah, not now at least."