"Tonight, it's Face-off Week on NXT" I'm such a failure as a fan!
: Screw this NXT Title match! Screw the US Title match! Lets just get to that dance battle! :yay: More dance-offs = better wrestling shows, clearly. Love how the NXT! NXT! NXT! chants are a thing now... hey, smarks, you wonder what the new E-C-Dub's gonna be? Well, here it is at Full Sail University. Play that Coheed and Cambria and start the show!
NXT! NXT! NXT! OMG I MUST GO TO A TAPING! EVERYONE'S SO HYPED UP AND THEY ALL LOOK TERRIBLE SO I'LL FIT RIGHT AT HOME! :dawg: Hey, was that Jillian Michaels in 20 years so she's even uglier? Wait, with all this awesome stuff we're starting off with Tyler Fucking Breeze? Really, NXT? Lame... Here's Neville? Okay... what was that?
1: So they're just going to announce when he comes and goes like that now? That's freaking fantastic for some reason. Total douchebaggery, really on the part of the ring announcer but who gives a shit it works. Dadadadada... we're just about to break the silence and hearts something something something... FACELESS! Woo, Neville! Woo, Riley on commentary, he's not that bad! Very feminine cheer for Ambrose :gusta:. "The Shield have said that they run this yard... They run NXT" Actually Dusty Rhodes does, but whatever. Seriously love it when wrestlers who have experience on commentary, as Riley sits back to discuss how he could never obtain the US title. So there's no Rollins nearby? Nooooo! No Reigns or Graves either so guess it evens out, they talk about Neville "speeding up the match" while he does a mudhole stomp and rest hold, lmao. Ambrose on the offense, so he can find a way to just do basic punches and kicks and somehow make it awesoNEVILLE ON THE TOP ROPE! He's gonna... not do shit.
: Ambrose moves, suicide dive, Ambrose moves again. Hey, look, it's an original NXT ad, cut back to see Ambrose punch Adrian in the face... so refreshing to see that instead of your generic headlock shit spoke too soon there's your rest hold. At least it's original. This crowd sucks, and so does this Lean Cuisine Lasagna. Never buy that. Calling Ambrose unorthodox is making me chuckle, but in an odd way it's true shit there's your generic headlock. "I haven't seen an impact in a long time" you should Riley. Babyface momentum shift never mind Adrian fell ovNevermind-semi possum corner spear thing! As the crowd goes mild! Clotheslines! Hurricanranas! Suicide dives! Called spots! Screams of excitement! Neville! Top rope... how's ambrose gonna WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! HE HIT IT! SHOCKER ADRIAN NEVILLE HAS WON THE US
1: Shield! Perfect timing from Rollins there, and there's your DQ finish.
Who booked that? Whoever did, give that guy a raise... unless he writes for Raw or Smackdown. PERFECT!
Some noob at a truck stop, a tanchested millionaire that doesn't do jack shit, a Jersey Shore wannabe, and a Jersey Shore wannabe wannabe walk into a backstage hallway with a cameraman. "How you doin', how you doin', I doin' alright but more importantly how you doin'" lmfao only Enzo Amore can pull that off
1: "Mason Ryan ain't nothin but a cheecha-wha?" Who did Enzo's hair, RVD? Those bits and pieces of Enzo's hair that are missing should be saved, they're so loaded with charisma. More than everyone else in this segment that's for sure. Stop talking Cass, you aren't Kaz. CJ PARKER!
1: Holy shit I would miss my sister's wedding to (kayfabe) walk these halls to meet all the ridiculous lovable people!
2 for 2 on segments, nothing can kill my buzz... "Can the leader of the Bo-lievers retain his title?" God dammit, forgot about that.
YES! MAIN EVENT TIME! Well, my main event. :haha: Groove yo thing, shake your ass, watch yourself! Hi Summer! Dat pop for Emma. I WANT YOUR BUBBLES! GIVE ME ALLLLL YOUR BUBBLES! Ohhhh Lady: Thanks for
1: "Emmataining?" That's gold! Keep that around... why aren't I raging? If this was Bo Dallas... screw it, it's Emma! :yay: Anyway, Ohhhh Lady: Thanks for showing us just how randomly magnificent her boobs are. :dawg: But she's gotta be wearing a shirt over them. :downer: A shirt I'd buy, though. Okay, enough perving, gotta seriously talk up this dance battle... yeah right lmao. How do you dance in high-heels? Should have thought that one through girl! Don't wanna pull out the big guns yet, Summer :gusta: but woot, here's Emma being all tough-girl and make rudimentary club moves look so badass. OH SHIT A ONE-LEGGED... SNAKE... THING! Badass, and yeah throw that invisible stuff right in Summer's face. You go girl. Twirls and little other
1: Holy crap a chicken dance! Can't... stop... laughing... So... Many... Dirty... Jokes... But... Too... Busy... Laughing... To... Type... Them... Summer's still holding back? She knows she has no chance. Get er... wait, what is this? "An advanced shopping trolley!" *Stops stream, throws down headphones, run into the bathroom to laugh until I piss myself* Emm... holy shit... It is nowhere near socially acceptable to enjoy this this much... but screw it... fuck your social acceptance, this > anything else in the world. "You Got Served! You Got Served! You Got Served!" *cries more* Play Emma's music, yay! Hey Lady, did you see that one lady in the crowd who wet herself in excitement after Emma took her shirt off? Yeah, looks like you have competition
1: And you've gotta deal with me too, she's mine, damn you! DAMN YOU SUMMER! Sore bitch loser.
Why is Leo Kruger cutting a heel promo? Thought he had an unadvertised face turn or something. Wait, scratch that, why is Leo Kruger talking at all? Next.
"Total Divas is a Knockout!" -Life and Style.
Is that Kane? Nah, just a jobber. Hi Breeze's shoes. Hi Breeze's face. "Making his solo residence in Milan, Italy"... Damn he has a sparkly phone, and it's purple too! Manly. :tough: Love the fat guy up front with a "Boo This Man" T-shirt. "Here on NXT, we have a dance battle followed by a male model." Lmfao, gold. And before that we had Enzo, and Dawson/Lefort... So many weirdos running around. Adrian Neville must be so out of place haha. No selfies? :why: No, now going after his phone... wait, no selfies?
1: Now? Nope, none now, match over. The phone on the screen, the random number of selfies from zero to infinity, the pictures of himself over the fallen opponents, the weird promos, the "Tyler Breeze has entered the Building"... I don't like this gimmick (won't rip you if you are) , but holy crap they're clever with it. Big props.
CRAP! WHO LEFT THE SHED WITH ALL THE MICROPHONES OPEN? :why: Don't you idiots know that if you do that, Bo Dallas may actually find it and attempt to talk into one of them? There's no way... NO WAY WWE would be stupid enough to actually give him the mihahahahahahaha WWE not being stupid enough to do something, that's a good one. Seriously why does this guy have the mic? So he can garner more unintentional heel heat? Or is it intentional. This might be the most amateurish promo I've seen in my life. Not real, obvious cue cards, and he looks like such an idiot... and his lines aren't helping. Bring up him not really being a tag champ and he just laughs it off? Oh "Bo away".
Will watch the main event later. May not even bother, it's amazing to me that these two asshats are feuding over the title instead of Zayn and Cesaro. I'm treating that as the NXT Championship until they give me someone I can "Bo-lieve" in as champ. Otherwise, freaking fantastic NXT!
tunga:
