]Hey, the cute little girl's welcoming us today with a smile. 30 seconds in and they've already earned brownie points, oh wait we're starting the show with Bo? Brownie points rejected. :tough: Hahaha Bo's the ultimate buzzkill. Haha, even she thinks that Bo-lievers is terrible, *Smiles* I got to meet Bret Hart! I had a match at Wrestlemania... Axxess! Bo Dallas is Lil' Wayne playing the guitar in wrestler form. Oh, so Cesaro gets to carry this guy tonight? That's cool. Hahaha, Cesaro's using the "No More Bo" catchphrase against him? Can't beat awareness like that. "He'll never forget the name Bo Dallas!" Neither will anyone else, it's terrible. Next!
Regal on commentary tonight! Instant bonus to each show, mainly due to the lack of Maddox. Anyone remember when Alicia Fox was Divas' Champion? Me neither. PAIGE! :gusta: Should be a really good match by Divas standards. "We Want Emma" chants :dawg: Holy crap Deathbane must be loving this crowd tonight, and hey if nobody else wants you Paige you're stuck with me. See Dolph's? Stiff shots, chain wrestling, is this still WWE? That bridging suplex by Fox looked terrible but at least she's trying one. Paige you vicious little babe, trapping her head against the ropes like that, wonder what else she can do? Dropkick by Fox! Forgot she was so athletic, Paigeturner, anyone else miss the Cradle DDT? What happened to that. Paige advances, this is just setting up Paige and Summer and we all know it, and there's not a damn thing wrong with that.
Who's this jobber, looks like someone stuck Riley and Cesaro in a blender. Who's he jobbing to? The old Ascension theme is back! :win: Marking! So they did get Rick Victor to play the Kenneth Cameron role? Sweet. So much potential for these guys. Andy Baker's looking more and more like Bad Luck Bryan the more this blue lighting stays up. These guys are so dark that the fans are getting behind a jobber, that's Bo Dallas level heat right there. O'Brien is such a beast, he could be an amazing talent if his name didn't sound like a late-night comedian. Little jobber dude looks fine for his little role, and did he seriously just use the Atomic Leg Drop? Looked just like Hogan's lmao. The Ascension is rising.
Oh, so Kassius is gone for now? Regal's interference will be welcome then :win: Yeah, Chris Hero has fallen that far that he's getting in Regal's way. Never been so happy with a "WHAT" chant as with Sylvester LaFort since I seriously can't tell what the fk this guy's saying. This crowd's pretty awesome, and here's one of the Barbecue Pit Shop Boys ready for action, that's fine. Dawson looks like a mini Larry the Cable Guy being a bouncer moonlighting as a Nascar driver. Consequences! Dat Kid in the house! Morphin' Time baby. This guy's got more charisma in his beard than Brodus and Tensai have in their two-ton bodies. Morph chants. Whew, a rest hold, can't type while Xavier on the offense. *Phew smiley* Odd to see him struggle to pick up Dawson though, figured he was stronger than that. Damn that fall to the outside was sick, Dawson's a stiff bastard. How cool would it be to see Woods clap more in the ring, rhythmically hitting moves? IT'S MORPHIN TIME! Call this guy up, that was damn impressive.
"All that'll be left are chunks of meat stuck to the teeth of the eater of worlds..." Enzo Amore's back! Badabing, badaboom, most entertaining guy in the room. And pretty real, too. After James Gandolfini died this is mcuh different... SAWFT SOFT!
1: Dying. This dude's gold, is he jobbing to Mason again? Nooooo... LOL ONE PUNCH KNOCKOUT! Hahahahahahaha! Haven't laughed this hard at wrasslin' in a while. Oh, another squash for Ryan? Impressive to pick up that guy. With Crimson being available/Ryback and Big E running around see no reason to keep this noob around, or in other words, he ain't a real G.
Fuck RVD, main even time. Man, Bo Dallas is getting more and more like Cena every week. Crowd erupts in solid boos and the commentary puts him over as "controversial". No biatch! Hey he's improving, he actually held the title right side up this week. Eater of Donuts sign lmao, everyone loves Cesaro tonight, Bolievers my ass haha. Commentary "He's inspired by John Cena", and the 3 people who like this guy are really trying hard. "Lets go Bo-ooooo!" Match is nothing so far. Something funny about bored Europeans talking up Tim Tebow during matches. I'm not a Cesaro fan but he makes you say "DAMN!" more than anyone else, Farooq style. And we cut away to Ziggler being the best in the world at PSA's, now back to this European crowd trashing Bo some more. This is hilarious. Cesaro's like "why fight it, they want one more boot? Fuck that! Headlock!" Lmao. Match is picking up, and damn you Bo for stealing Paige's yell. How dare you. *Tough smiley* That Gutwrench off the top rope was sick! Twisty chinlock reversed into a rollup, Bo should use more rollups since he can pass as a Diva anyway. Damn, what an armdrag! How did Bo do that! That was almost Garett Bischoff quality. Bounce off Kruger for the dirty win after all that? Oh hell no! WEAK! What a match with such a weak finish, as the Thousand Years of Darkness continue and the cameraman doesn't zoom up so Bo can't botch holding up the belt again. Where's Sami since Nazi just spoiled it earlier... There he is! *Yay smiley* Someone get him a new theme. The crowd's singing a good idea, Ole, ole ole ole. Would have been a great way to get Zayn over if Bo wasn't such a heat magnet.