(I recommend scrolling slowly, because I'm not about to deal with putting Spoiler tags in this. Enjoy!)
Episode 1 – Draft Day
As the theme song to Monday Night RAW plays, pyrotechnics go off on the stage. The setup looks just like the WWE Thunderdome, except there is a crowd in place of the virtual audience boards. There is a new RAW logo on the left side of the stage with a podium in front of it and a red spotlight casted onto it. Opposite that on the right side of the stage is the same setup but with a new SmackDown! Logo and a blue spotlight.
Farther to the left, near the crowd, stands a lifted commentary table. At commentary are the loveable duo of veteran commentator Michael Cole and the ever-excitable Pat McAfee. They smile at the camera with Pat also rocking out to “Across The Nation”.
Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night RAW. With Pat McAfee, I’m Michael Cole, and today is going to be a huge day in WWE history.
Pat: Oh yeah, if you love drama, if you love surprises, if you love chaos and controversy, then you’re going to want to marry tonight’s episode of RAW!
Cole: I’m excited for tonight, maybe not as much as Pat-
Pat: I’m ready to propose!
Cole: And definitely not as excited as the fans in attendance and the millions watching at home will be in just a few moments. Tonight, on a historic episode of Monday Night RAW, we’re going into what WWE Chairman and CEO Mr. McMahon has described as a “creative new direction”.
Pat: That’s right, we’re going to be getting some new bosses here tonight! Both RAW and SmackDown! Are going to be getting new commissioners, and on top of that, both commissioners are going to be drafting WWE Superstars to their new rosters.
Cole: We might be seeing stars that have been away for a while, some fresh new faces and perhaps some shocking individuals we could have never expected.
Pat: And we can’t forget what’s probably the biggest news, Michael!
Cole: And what would that be?
Pat: We’re crowning new champions! Not only are the new commissioners getting brand new rosters, but they will be personally crowning two champions each. And then even huge-er news-
Cole: Uh, huge-er isn’t a word, Pat.
Pat: It is now Cole, because this is such a big deal! In even huge-er news, both brands will also be sharing an Undisputed Championship!
Cole: That’s right, in a manner that will be described during the draft, both brands will be fighting for control over the Undisputed Championship. It will come with a few perks that benefit both the title holder and the brand they are on.
Pat: Some epic stuff going on tonight guys, but without any further stalling, here’s the host of tonight’s draft!
Onto the stage, with microphone in hand, comes the Harvard Law School graduate, David Otunga.
The audience might as well be a sea of ghosts as boos rain down onto a smiling Otunga. He mouth’s the words “thank you, thank you” as his theme song fades but the boos remain.
Otunga: Wow, you all really missed me, huh?
The audience boos even louder in response to his smugness.
Otunga: Ok listen, listen.. You all don’t have to like me, but you’re damn sure going to respect me. Not only am I a former WWE Tag-Team Champion, not only am I a Harvard educated lawyer, but I am now, officially, Mr. McMahon’s personally appointed Special Counsel to the Commissioners of both RAW and SmackDown!, so I will be shown the respect that I deserve.
The boos grow even louder and a chant of “No! No! No!” breaks out.
Pat: Would this technically make him the second most powerful man in the company?
Cole: In his mind, maybe.
Otunga: Now, with that being said, I am also your host for tonight’s draft. By the power entrusted to me by Mr. McMahon, allow me to explain how Draft Day is going to play out. There is a large free agent draft pool that both commissioners will be picking from. Of this draft pool, a total of thirty will be chosen, leaving approximately twenty Superstars undrafted. The number of undrafted Superstars may or may not be a little higher or lower than that number. The thirty Superstars that are drafted are split between the two shows, which means each show will have fifteen Superstars. There will be three rounds and in each round the commissioners will choose five Superstars, again, making a total of fifteen for each show and thirty in total. Are you all following me? I know some of you aren’t good with numbers, so I hope you’re following me.
The crowd boos David Otunga once again.
Pat: man, they love him, they REALLY love him.
Otunga: Calm down, calm down. Geez, you all are so uncivilized. Anyway, at the end of each round there will be a match. Those matches will feature one Superstar from each brand that was drafted in that round. Perhaps those matches might help the commissioners choose their champions, perhaps it won’t. But it will factor into the Undisputed Championship. That will be explained later in the draft, however. With the explanation out of the way, I’m sure you’re all eager to find out exactly who the new commissioners are, right?
The crowd cheers in anticipation.
Otunga: I won’t keep you waiting any longer. To kick it off, ladies and gentlemen, the new Commissioner of Monday Night RAW!...
To a raucous mix of surprise, excitement and hatred, the song “I’m Back” blares throughout the arena as the new Commissioner of Monday Night RAW, Eric Bischoff, makes his way onto the stage highlighting his cheek dimples with his fingers. He walks over to David Otunga and shakes his hand before motioning to the RAW Draft Podium and making his way over to it.
Otunga: What a surprise, right? Relax everyone, you’ll all be hearing from Eric Bischoff in just a few moments, but as Mr. McMahon’s Appointed Special Counsel to the Commissioners, it would be incredibly unfair if I didn’t allow the Commissioner of SmackDown! to be present for any of Eric’s remarks, and vice-versa. So, introducing the new Commissioner of Friday Night SmackDown!...
An unfamiliar song plays for a while and the crowd doesn’t know how to react. Confused and curious, they stare at the entryway as a graphic pops up on the screen and the crowd gives a similar reaction as they did to Bischoff, albeit with a few more cheers than boos.
Pat: With a dope and fitting new theme song, it’s Paul f’n Heyman! I can’t believe he’s been given this much power!
Paul Heyman stands on the stage, his hands folded in front of him. After surveying the arena, he walks towards David Otunga, who holds out his hand. Paul mouths “you want me to shake that?” and then laughs as he shakes his head and walks to the SmackDown! Draft Podium and his music fades.
Otunga: I don’t know who you think you are, Paul, but I’ll have you know-
Heyman: I’ll have you know that I do not care what you are about to say, I do not care to hear you speak whatsoever, unfortunately I have to for the duration of the draft, and I do not care to shake your hand when it’s probably been wiping Vince McMahon’s ass, considering that’s the only way you could get the position you were about to so flagrantly flaunt. But please, spare me, and continue on with Draft Day, please.
Bischoff: Wow, Paul, some things never change, do they? How the hell have you been?
Heyman: Oh I’d rather be anywhere than here on RAW, simply because it’s your show, but other than that, I’m just peachy, Eric.
Bischoff: Just as loveable as always. Oh, uh please, Mr. Otunga, continue. On behalf of Paul Heyman, I would like to apologize for my co-worker’s comments. You’re doing a fine job, a great job I might even say.
Paul Heyman shakes his head in disgust and mockingly makes kissy faces at Otunga and Bischoff.
Otunga: Thank you Eric, I appreciate that. I see that we’ll have a great working relationship. Paul…I see that I’ll have a whole heap of paperwork on you when I report back to Mr. McMahon during my periodic evaluations.
David Otunga walks over to Eric Bischoff’s podium and stands there, leaning on it.
Draft Round 1
Otunga: So Eric, because of the kindness you’ve shown me, I’m going to allow you to get the very first pick of Draft Day. Who’s it going to be? A huge star? A relative unknown? A former champion or a somebody on the other end of that spectrum?
Bischoff: I’ll tell you what Mr. Otunga, my first pick might not be known by everyone here. This is a man that definitely has a bright future in this company and could be a major player on RAW, not SmackDown!, of course. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you my first of five picks this round, Dominik Dijakovic!
Otunga: What a fine pick! Those that tune in to RAW are sure to amazed by this superior specimen. I’m sorry Paul, I really don’t know how you can top that, but go ahead and try.
Bischoff: Who you got Paul, who you got?
Paul Heyman stares at Eric Bischoff and David Otunga, with an almost confused look on his face.
Bischoff: What? What is it?
Heyman: I’m sorry, I thought I was dying for a second. I-I-I started seeing this-this light, this bright white light, but then I got to the end of that bright white light and almost got pushed back because it wasn’t my time. And-and, here’s the weird thing…I got pushed backwards, almost falling to the ground, but I was caught. I was caught by the comforting arms and aura of my first pick. It might not be as big as your savior of a pick in Dominik Dijakovic…it’s actually bigger, you pick wasting idiot. My pick is the
Friday Night Messiah, Seth Rollins!
Cole: Woah, would you look at the face of Eric Bischoff! He’s shocked!
Pat: he’s probably wishing he chose some bigger star power for his first pick right now, Seth Rollins is a huge first get for Paul Heyman.
Bischoff: Ok! Ok! Wait a minute, wait a minute…my next pick is up there with Seth Rollins, arguably he’s better than Seth Rollins! My second pick is the Prizefighter, Kevin Owens!
Heyman: Am I feeling a little bit of a panic pick in your tone of voice? I’ll admit, that’s a great pick actually, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want Kevin Owens. Let me put you at a little bit of ease with my second pick, but still keep you on your toes. My second pick is one hell of a Role Model, ladies and gentlemen, coming to SmackDown! is Bayley!
Otunga: Can’t disagree with that pick Eric, Bayley is a pretty good one. What’s your response?
Bischoff: My response? My response?! Well I think my response is how stupid can you be?! Sure, she’s fantastic, but when you think about Bayley, there’s somebody else that comes to mind that is far superior to her. In fact, you could even say that she is The Blueprint of modern-day women’s wrestling. Please welcome to RAW, my third picks, The Boss, Sasha banks!
Cole: Looks like RAW’s timeslot is now Boss Time!
Pat: You couldn’t resist it, huh?
Otunga: Ohhh, Sasha Banks off the board. Paul, do you have an answer to that?
Heyman: Honestly, not yet, no. So I’m going to do something Eric mistakenly did for his first pick, and that’s choose someone that the fans might not be expecting. My third pick is the Viking Warrior, Sarah Logan.
Eric Bischoff and David Otunga burst out laughing. They stop laughing, look at each other, smile, and burst out laughing even harder a second time.
Bischoff: I’m-I’m sorry, but WOW! You said I wasted a pick, but my God, what a waste that is! I’ve never even heard of her!
Heyman: But you will soon, and that’s the point Eric.
Bischoff: Sure, whatever. Oh that’s rich. Hey, Mr. Otunga, do you want to know what else is rich?
Otunga: What would that be Eric?
Bischoff: Me! When my next pick starts shoveling in mountains of cash from all the stellar, five-star classics he’ll put on every night! My fourth pick is the Wrestling Machine, Olympic Gold Medalist, Kurt Angle!
Bischoff: Beat that one Heyman!
Heyman:…… Samoa Joe.
Pat: Wow! Two back-to-back blockbuster picks!
Cole: Two absolute heavy hitting, main event players right there.
Otunga: Woah ok you two, let’s spread out these big picks a little more, alright? Why don’t we go to the bottom of your lists for your next picks? Like, maybe the bottom five of your considerations.
Heyman: In that case, I think I’m going to give a little bit of a handout. Some charity, if you will. Goodwill, even. This man has some…potential, but if I’m being sincere, I’m really giving him this job because he needs it. He’s got kids for Christ’s sake! Ladies and gentlemen my final pick of the first round, Heath Slater!
Bischoff: I still absolutely need to one-up you, so I’m going to go with a friend of Heath’s actually. In fact, I believe he was a friend of yours at one point too Mr. Otunga. I guess you can say he’s the nexus of a few different relationships. My final pick of round one, is Mason Ryan.
Otunga: Alright gentlemen, with the first round of picks done. It is now time for you both to select one of the five from this round to compete in a match. So please write down your picks, I will collect them and announce who they are.
Both Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman write down their picks, occasionally locking eyes with one another. They both finish writing their picks down and David Otunga retrieves them both before going to the center of the stage.
Otunga stares at both papers with a shocked look on his face, caught off guard by the names.
Otunga: I don’t know if you two somehow planned this telepathically or something, but you two chose a perfect match to go on first tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first matchup tonight, representing Monday Night RAW will be… Sasha Banks!
Pat: Ok, ok, solid, solid.
Otunga: And representing Friday Night SmackDown! is Bayley!
Cole: he was right, talk about a perfect pairing!
Pat: This is going to kick so much ass!
Sasha Banks vs Bayley
Sasha Banks comes onto the stage and walks over to the Raw Draft Podium where Eric Bischoff stands. She jokingly puts her shades onto Bischoff’s head, shakes his hand and continues down the ramp as the fans boo this display.
Finkel: The following contest is an inter-promotional match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts, she is “The Boss”, Sasha Banks!
Finishing up her normal entrance, she removes her jacket and stands in the ring, facing the ramp.
Bayley makes her way out and stands in the middle of the stage. She looks over at Paul Heyman and the two exchange a head nod before she continues down the ramp.
Finkel: And her opponent. From San Jose, California, she is “The Role model”, Bayley!
Getting into the ring, and looking for an upper hand on Sasha, Bayley takes off her jacket and tosses it at Sasha’s face! She follows this up by tackling her down to the mat and unleashing a flurry of strikes before Sasha manages to wriggle free and roll out of the ring. In the meantime, the referee rings the bell.
Pat: The Role Model leading by example and setting the tone for the night! Fortune favors the bold!
With Sasha using the announce table to get up, Bayley exits the ring and attempts to grab “The Boss” by the hair, but she’s elbowed in the gut for her efforts. The moment now in her favor, Sasha powers Bayley towards the apron, slamming her back first into it. After a few more blows to return the strikes from earlier, Sasha rolls Bayley back into the ring.
Sasha makes her way to the top rope and jumps off, landing a big Frog Splash resulting in a two count. Both ladies get to their feet, Bayley being in the corner, Sasha running towards her looking for double knees to the chest, but Bayley manages to get out of the way just in time, causing Sasha to bounce off the turnbuckle and roll backwards onto the mat. Seeing Sasha on her knees, Bayley guns in and whacks Sasha hard, high on the back, with a clubbing forearm. Bayley goes for the pin, getting just a one count.
Sasha still being dazed, gets taken advantage of as Bayley begins slapping the back of her head, following that up with a stomp to the stomach. She screams at the crowd, belittling Sasha Banks, who suddenly springs to life with a roll up! One! Two! Bayley kicks out, but Sasha uses the momentum to turn it into the Bank Statement! She wrenches back with Bayley yelling in pain and struggling to find a way out of the move. Eventually, Bayley manages to maneuver her body enough to get a foot onto the ropes, making Sasha release the hold.
Bayley heads under the ropes and uses them to come to a standing position on the apron. Sasha comes over and grabs Bayley by the head, but she’s reversed and grabbed by her head as Bayley hops off the apron, sending Sasha throat first onto the rope. Bayley quickly slides into the ring, pushing the referee out of the way, and grabs Sasha from behind by her arms. She picks Sasha in the air, but this is scouted, as Sasha rolls Bayley forward into a pin attempt. This is kicked out of at two and both women get to their feet, with Sasha slapping Bayley in the face, throwing her off momentarily. This is just enough to turn Bayley around and hit her with a Backstabber! And now into a Bank Statement again!
The referee gets in close to ask Bayley if she wants to quit and Bayley is flailing her arms every which way, “accidently” catching the referee in the eyes! The referee holds their face, losing all focus on the match, and Bayley takes advantage by yanking at Sasha’s hair, forcing a break of the hold. Still holding onto Sasha’s hair, Bayley wraps it around Sasha’s eyes, completely blinding her, and hits a Bayley to Belly!
Bayley scurries over to the referee to get them focused back on the match. She then goes to the top rope and jumps off, landing her signature elbow drop. She goes into the pin, getting the three count and the win!
Finkel: Here is the winner of the match, SmackDown! Superstar, “The Role Model”, Bayley!
Bayley leaves the ring and makes her way up the ramp and towards the podium of Eric Bischoff. Bragging about her win, and profanely belittling RAW, Bayley is on top of the world…until she isn’t. From behind her, Sasha Banks runs up and punches her in the back of the head! Caught off guard, Bayley is grabbed by the hair and almost whipped around like a bag of rocks, as she is tossed off the RAW stage!
Cole: Oh my lord! Sasha tossing Bayley off the stage!
Pat: And that’s why you don’t play games with The Boss, when she’s the one that makes the rules!
Bayley weakly rolls around in pain as Sasha Banks looks over her handiwork before retrieving her shades from Bischoff and walking to the back. We head to a break.
Draft Round 2
Otunga: Now that we’ve cleaned up and settled down out here, it’s time for the second round of Draft Day. In the spirit of fairness, albeit reluctant fairness, I think it would only be right to let Mr. Heyman have the first pick of the second round. What do you say, Eric?
Bischoff: Seeing as one of his picks might already need to be replaced, I think it’s perfectly fair.
Heyman: I’m going to cut off Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumbass right there and just get on to my pick. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to re-introduce you to a man that certainly is more than capable in the ring. A man that is criminally underrated and would most-certainly be underused by my poor competition over there. This is a man with a great vision for himself, for all of you and for this grand country. While on SmackDown!, please allow this man to give you his vision for a more perfect union...Ladies and gentlemen I give to you Mustafa Ali!
Pat: Certainly not a bad pick at all, if I was building my own wrestling promotion, I would put Mustafa Ali amongst the top of my list to carry my company.
Cole: A very good way to start off the second round indeed, I’m curious just how Eric Bischoff looks to respond.
Bischoff: Hey, alright, I’ll give credit where it’s due Paul. That’s a fine pick, a very fine pick indeed. You brought up something that I want to touch on, and that’s being more than capable in the ring. When I think of a trait like that, I tend to think of people like Rey Mysterio. People like Tajiri. People like Sabu. These smaller Superstars that are incredibly captivating in the ring. With that being said, I’d like to give another opportunity, similar to my first, first pick. My first pick of the second round, an incredible masked wrestler, Lince Dorado!
Cole: Speaking of great in-ring talent, the Golden Lynx is amazing between the ropes. The way he strings moves together and soars through the air is definitely up there with some of the best of all time.
Otunga: Alright you two, I propose another interesting stipulation. For your next picks, I want someone a little eccentric. Somebody that might be out of the ordinary in one way or another. Somebody-
Heyman: Shut up and let me get this pick out of the way. My next pick is, ahem….FAAAAAANDAAAAAANGOOOOOOO!
Heyman: I’ve always wanted to do that. It’s just as fun as I thought it would be.
Bischoff: That’s your eccentric pick?! Oh boy, Paul, I’m sorry to absolutely slaughter you with my next pick. This woman is a pirate extraordinaire, shiver your timbers, for Kairi Sane!
Otunga: Certainly exactly what I asked for, buuuuut I do think that Eric got just a little more in that one. Let’s throw another curveball that isn’t so limiting here, because I’m fair.
Bischoff: So fair.
Otunga: So fair, yes. For this next one, I want you two to both randomize your lists and see who comes up first. Use the little tablets at your podiums, it’s all setup for you both. Heyman, you get the honors of going first. Let’s see what poor soul you’ve drawn.
Paul Heyman swipes a few times on his tablet and taps a few times on the screen. He waits for the result to pop up, with an annoyed expression on his face. The tablet makes a dinging noise and Paul’s expression completely changes to one of almost chaotic joy.
Bischoff: What? Who is it?
Heyman laughs mockingly in the direction of Bischoff.
Otunga: Paul, just tell us who-
Heyman: The Animal! Batista!
A look of disbelief flashes on both the faces of Bischoff and Otunga.
Bischoff: Just you wait! I’ve got an answer for that! My pick…is a monster! It’s…it’s a beast! It’s one of the greatest champions in all of WWE history! My pick is!....
Bischoff taps on the screen of his tablet and a roster graphic pops up.
Pat: It’s Cody Rhodes! That’s not a bad pick at all, honestly. Solid workhorse and he’s championship material.
Cole: Yeah but, Cody Rhodes is definitely not on the level of Batista. I think a little bit of karma came to bite Eric.
Pat: And it got him right in the ass!
Otunga: Ok, no more of that! Let’s just get to another normal selection for the rest of this round. Heyman, go ahead.
Heyman: Now that you’re sufficiently “shook” as the current generation would say, I think that I’ll go a little easy on you. But not too easy, however. My next pick is the “Great Liberator”! Sami Zayn!
Bischoff: Seeing as you’ve probably blown your load for this round on your actual selected picks, I think I’ll save my best one for last. So for my fourth pick, I’m going a little off the beaten path and choosing…Curt Hawkins.
Otunga: We are now down to the final two picks of the second round. Gentlemen remember, after this you must each select one Superstar from this round to compete for your show in the next match. Please continue with your final picks.
Heyman: If I hadn’t randomly gotten Batista, thank you for that one Mr. Otunga, then I think my next pick would have been the best of this round. Regardless of that, my final pick is magnificent in her own right and will be sure to takeover the skies of SmackDown! Ladies and gentlemen, Io Shirai!
Bischoff: Blah blah blah, oooo Io Shirai. You know what Paul, she might have potential, but my final second round pick has nothing less than limitless potential. Because my final pick for this round is none other than “Limitless” Keith Lee!
Giving the Commissioners time to choose their match participants, we cut to backstage where Christy Hemme is standing with an irate Sasha banks.
Hemme: Sasha, you took a loss on the-
Sasha snatches the mic out of Christy’s hand.
Sasha: Let’s get something straight here. That bitch Bayley did not win! Who’s still standing? Me. Who’s the one here doing this interview? Me. Who’s the one getting taken away on a stretcher after getting her ass tossed off the stage like trash? Bayley! And Eric, I better get the damn recognition I deserve on this show. I know you liked what you saw. Do the right thing.
Sasha shoves the mic back towards Christy and the scene goes back to the RAW stage.
Pat: What does she mean by “the right thing”?
Cole: I have no idea, Pat.
Otunga: Ladies and gentlemen, the Commissioners have given me their selections for this next match. Representing Monday Night RAW will be…
David Otunga opens a small piece of paper.
Otunga: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. And representing Friday Night SmackDown!...
Otunga opens the other small paper.
Otunga: Will be Io Shirai!
Cody Rhodes vs Io Shirai
Cody Rhodes jogs out onto the stage, wiping a finger on his mustache and snapping his head in a showoff-y manner. He makes his way down the ramp to an audience not-too-thrilled to see him, but still chanting “Cody’s Mustache!”.
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from Marietta, Georgia, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes!
Cody Rhodes stands in the ring, removing his entrance attire and bouncing to his theme music. He walks by Howard Finkel and snatches the microphone right out of his hands.
Cody: If there’s something I’ve learned from all my experience in this business…it’s that my new boss, Eric Bischoff, the great man that he is, appreciates two things…one of those things being controversy, and the other thing being a person that shows no mercy. On top of being dashingly good looking, I’m going to show all of you, Eric Bischoff, and Io Shirai, that those two qualities I mentioned before…are exactly the reasons why I will be the flag bearer for Monday Night RAW. And Eric, we’re going to show Paul Heyman –
Interrupting Cody Rhodes, Io Shirai explodes onto the stage when the beat drops in her music. Looking almost manic, she erratically moves her arms and body about oddly in tune with her theme song.
Finkel: And his opponent, from Tokyo, Japan, Io Shirai!
Io Shirai slides into the ring, pops up to her feet and screams in Cody Rhodes face, before going to the corner and doing more of her schtick on the top rope…. When Cody comes from behind, yanks her off the top rope, bends her backwards and drills her with a Cross-Rhodes!
Pat: No! That’s not fair! He caught her when she wasn’t paying attention!
Cole: Cody intending to back up his words, that’s my guess here!
Cody walks around Io and puts on a giant smile while laughing. He looks at the referee and yells to ring the bell, which the referee does. Cody Rhodes then picks up the limp Io Shirai, puts her in position once again and hits her with another Cross-Rhodes! But he isn’t done as he repeats the process again, hitting a third Cross-Rhodes! The audience is extremely loud with the boos as Cody soaks in the reaction and goes for the pin. He gets the three count as the crowd continues to boo him.
Cole: Well even if it is a tainted victory, Cody Rhodes gets the win for RAW. This puts the shows at one win a piece tonight.
Pat: Speaking of wins, I actually think it’s time to explain the Undisputed Championship. Let’s go back to Mr. McMahon’s Appointed Special Counsel to the Commissioners, David Otunga.
Undisputed Championship Explanation & Draft Round 3
Otunga: As mentioned earlier in the show, it’s time to explain how the Undisputed Championship will work. Make sure you’re following along people, I’m only going to say all of this once. Ahem, the Undisputed Championship is a cross-brand championship. This means that any Superstar from any show is eligible to hold this Championship. Under normal circumstances, whichever brand holds the Undisputed Championship will have the luxury of choosing the stipulation of each match the championship is defended in, and that stipulation can be just about anything. The challenging brand will be able to select any Superstar on their roster to compete for the championship, with the only rule being that it cannot be their individual World Champion at the time of the match starting. Secondary champions, however, are allowed to compete in these matches, with the agreement that, if the situation should arise, they might have to compete twice in one night. Since the Undisputed Championship is currently without ownership, for tonight only, both shows will be able to select a representative for this match. The match stipulation will be chosen by the brand that has the most wins tonight. With them being tied at one a piece, the third match will decide who chooses the stipulation for the main event.
Pat: This championship certainly holds a ton of power and bragging rights.
Cole: Whoever holds it can say, without a shadow of a doubt, they are the top Superstar on the top brand in the WWE.
Pat: I wish I was still wrestling Cole, I think I’d have a shot at it!
Cole: You’d be put through the ring by Batista, Pat.
Otunga: Now, let’s get on to the final round of Draft Day. This round, we’re going to change it up a little bit. There will still be five picks, but they will be announced two-two-one. So, two at a time, and then your final pick. Do the Commissioners both understand?
Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff both nod, signaling they understand how the last round will play out.
Otunga: Ok, Mr. Heyman, since Eric finished us off last time, why don’t you begin?
Heyman: Firstly, the thought of Eric “finishing” someone off is perhaps the most nauseating thing to ever grace your lips, since Vince McMahon’s ass.
Otunga stares at Paul with a “really” type of look filling his face.
Heyman: I digress from your extracurricular activities, Mr. Otunga. I think I would rather let Eric go first, I mean he did win the last match, after all.
Otunga: Ignoring your insult, maybe you do have a little bit of class in you, since you’re letting the arguably better man here between the two of you, go first. Eric, if you would, please.
Bischoff: My pleasure. You know, I think that I want to go across the pond for my next few picks. I’m feeling a little giddy about these next two, honestly. My next two picks are the Irish sensation, Becky Lynch! And Moscow’s toughest athlete, Ilja Dragunov!
Heyman: I-I-I-I’m being quite honest right here, I just don’t have much left. We’ve gone back and forth and you have some great picks indeed, this is making it tough for me…You know what, I’ll start off this round with two random picks, may I do that?
Otunga: Yes! Go right ahead! I’d love nothing more!
Heyman: Let’s test my luck again…..and I have….
Pat: Heyman got Mitch of the Spirit Squad and the smoking hot Aksana!
Cole: Luck was not on his side this time around.
Eric Bischoff is almost celebrating at his podium witnessing the disappointment in Heyman’s face.
Bischoff: Oh that’s great, Paul! Hell I think you’ve got your champions right there! You know what? I think I’m just going to piss you off some more, because my next two picks are legends in this business in their own rights. Ladies and gentlemen, I select…William Regal and “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles!
Bischoff: Beat that, Paul!
Heyman rubs his face, looking lost…but is he really?
Heyman: I’m going to do a little bit of a 50/50 here…by that I mean I’m going to choose a young, up and coming Superstar…and someone that the fans might have forgotten about, but it is a fantastic damn hand to have in any promotion on this planet. My next two picks are “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes and a man that can go “all day”, Austin Theory!
Bischoff: I actually kind of wanted Austin Theory, you beat me to the punch there, Paul. So, I’m going to have to hit you low. I’m going to have to go after someone personal to you. Someone that, arguably, I can say you love. Someone that, in this business, was a huge deal for you. I’m taking one of your toys, Paul, I’m picking Rhyno!
Heyman holds onto his chest, slams his hand down onto his podium and then puts his head down, all in an exaggerated manner. He feigns a lip quiver before doing a deep sigh and leaning in closer to the microphone.
Heyman: Eric…that stings. That really does sting, I do love Rhyno. Rhyno and ECW were two peas in a pod. I don’t know how I’m going to recover from this….
After a brief pause, and a knowing look from Paul Heyman...
The faces of Eric Bischoff and David Otunga absolutely drop to the
fucking floor when the theme song of Brock Lesnar blares through the arena. An evil grin is on the face of Paul Heyman as the crowd loses their mind when Brock Lesnar, with the appearance of a Viking-lumberjack, slowly makes his way out onto the stage in jeans, a white shirt, and a light brown jacket.
Lesnar walks over to David Otunga, who can’t look The Beast in the eyes, and moves to hide behind Eric Bischoff. Lesnar, having a bit of fun, pretends to come at Bischoff, who jumps back and bumps into Otunga, making them both stumble and fall. Lesnar walks over to Heyman and the two give each other a big hug, much to the excitement of the audience in attendance. Lesnar then makes his way down the ramp and into the ring.
Third SmackDown! vs Raw Match – Tiebreaker
Heyman: Well, Brock’s in the ring, Eric. Why don’t you choose one of your final five, now. Please, we don’t have all night.
Bischoff and Otunga scramble to their feet and converse frantically. Finally, Eric goes back to his podium and shakily speaks.
Bischoff: I….Send out Ilja Dragunov!
Marching out comes Ilja Dragunov, prime for war. He goes straight past both the Commissioners and David Otunga, intimidating eyes fixated on the casually dressed Brock Lesnar.
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, Brock Lesnar! And making his way to the ring… from Moscow, Russia, Ilja Dragunov!
Dragunov enters the ring and stares Brock Lesnar in the eyes in the middle of the ring. He quickly moves away from brock and heads to the turnbuckle, doing orchestral arm motions, which the crowd responds with in turn. He looks over his shoulder, bringing his attention back to Lesnar. He hops down from the turnbuckle and removes his coat in almost one seamless motion and once again stares down brock Lesnar.
Dragunov yells at Brock Lesnar, but the fans are so loud that it is impossible to tell what he’s saying. The referee rings the bell.
Cole: I think this kid is in way over his head here.
Pat: Give him a chance, Ilja has the fire-Oh like that!
As McAfee was talking, Dragunov slaps the ever-living-shit out of Brock Lesnar, but the beast responds by quickly getting behind Ilja and tossing him with a German Suplex.
Pat: That’s the first!
Cole: And here comes the second!
Brock hits a second German Suplex in the man from Moscow, throwing him for a loop. Brock gets up and does an almost primal scream, then turns around…right into the path of a charging Ilja Dragunov, Torpedo Moscow! The wild running headbutt connects and drops The Beast!
Ilja runs to another corner and sizes up Lesnar, shouting at him to get up. Once Brock does, Ilja charges, once again connecting with Torpedo Moscow! He goes for the pin! One! Two! And Brock Lesnar kicks out, but is still dazed!
While he’s still trying to get up, Ilja lays in a combination of chops, punches, forearms, slaps and elbows to the back and head of Lesnar to keep him down. One more time, Ilja retreats to a corner to set up for Torpedo Moscow. Brock gets to his feet and Ilja charges, jumping for the headbutt, but is caught out of mid-air and dropped with an absolutely devastating F-5! Brock goes in for the win. One…two…
Thr—by the grace of whatever god you, and he, believe in, Ilja Dragunov kicks out of the F-5! The crowd go crazy, chanting “Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!”.
Cole: How in the hell did he kick out of a Brock Lesnar F-5?!
Pat: This kid’s got more heart, guts and grit than he does brain! He’s the toughest man from Moscow for a damn reason!
Brock sits up, shocked, but almost appreciating and respecting Ilja Dragunov. He stands as Ilja struggles to get to his feet. Red-faced and shaking, Ilja grabs on to the jeans and jacket of Lesnar. Helping him up, perhaps not how Ilja wants, Brock once again lifts him up on his shoulders and hits another ring-shaking F-5.
Lesnar looks over at the RAW stage, staring at Eric Bischoff. He points at him and then shakes his finger in a “no” gesture. He walks back over to the lifeless body of Dragunov, lifts him by his trunks and basically throws him onto his shoulders. He hits a third, statements making F-5. Standing with one foot on Ilja’s chest, Lesnar gets the three count and the win.
Heyman: Here is your winner, SmackDown!’s final draft pick, BRRRROOOCK…LLLLEEESSSNAR!
The show goes to break as Brock Lesnar walks back up the ramp, smiling towards Paul Heyman.
Crowning The First Champions
We come back seeing Renee Paquette standing backstage with a microphone in hand.
Renee: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight has been momentous to say the least. We just saw Brock Lesnar secure the deciding win for Friday Night SmackDown!, which means they will get the advantage of choosing the stipulation for the Undisputed Championship match. Speaking of championships, in just a matter of moments, both Commissioners will be crowning their inaugural champions in the middle of the ring. Anyone on their rosters are eligi-
A sudden loud whistle is heard from somewhere off screen…and into the frame jumps Mitch, now the one man Spirit Squad.
Mitch: R-E-N-E-E, what’s that spell!?
He waits for a response that he does not get.
Mitch: I said…What’s that spell?!
Renee reluctantly replies.
Renee: My name.
Mitch: You’re supposed to actually yell out your name, Renee! How am I supposed to spread good cheer and a winning attitude, when people like you just suck so much?! Like, geez, c’mon Renee! You know what, we’ll try again another time. Actually, maybe, next time I’ll de draped in GOLD! Could you imagine that Renee?! Mitch, World Champion! Gosh, that has such a nice ring to it. I’ll be as big of a star as you seem to think you are, you pompous-
He stops talking as another Superstar comes into frame.
Fandango: Hey. What were you going to say to her? You better be respecting the lady.
Mitch: What’s it to you, pal?
Fandango: Hmph. You know what. I’ll speak to Paul. See you on SmackDown!
Fandango walks away.
Mitch: Who the hell was that guy?!
Fandango jumps back into frame.
Fandango: It’s…FAAAAANDAAAAANGOOOOO!
He hits Mitch on the head with the microphone and saunters away as the scene crossfades to show the ring.
David Otunga’s music is playing as he stands in the ring with both the Commissioner of Monday night RAW, Eric Bischoff, and the Commissioner of Friday Night SmackDown!, Paul Heyman. His music fades away as he begins to speak.
Otunga: It is now time for the Commissioners to formally crown their champions. Here is how this will go. They will start by announcing their secondary champions, those will be the Intercontinental Champion on RAW, and the United States Champion on SmackDown! Once those proceedings are done, they will then crown their primary champions, those will be the WWE Champion on SmackDown! and the World Heavyweight Champion on RAW. Finally, they will then announce their participants for the Undisputed Championship match, as well Paul Heyman announcing the stipulation, and that will take place immediately after. With that being said, I would like Eric Bischoff to start off by announcing his very first Intercontinental Champion.
Eric Bischoff steps forward, microphone in hand. He obnoxiously taps it, making a thud noise go around the arena.
Bischoff: Being an Intercontinental Champion means that you are the workhorse of the brand. You are the one that can be called on to do the tough jobs and show out in whatever way you do best, whenever you are called upon. This means I need my champion to be someone of high morals and integrity. Without any further ado, I would like to announce to you your new Intercontinental Champion, Cody Rhodes!
The audience boos as his name is announced.
Bischoff: Now he would come out here right now, but I texted him shortly before stepping into this ring, and because of how you all are being so callously rude to him, he will not be gracing you with his presence for a second time tonight.
The audience cheers at these words, not wanting to see Cody again.
Bischoff: Paul, why don’t you announce whoever your lackluster United States Champion is.
Heyman: With pleasure, you absolute doofus. I’m going to forego the long speech for this one. Your new United States Champion, an up and coming star, Austin Theory!
Austin theory comes out onto the stage, looking shocked and overly happy. Hopping up and down like a child for a moment, he jogs down the ramp, stopping short of the ring. He pulls out his cellphone and goes into the ring. Paul Heyman, holding the United States Championship, holds it out to Theory. He puts his hand out mouthing “one second” and slightly kneels down, holding his phone in front of him. With him, the title, and an unamused Heyman in the frame, he snaps a selfie. He retrieves the championship and hops out of the ring, celebrating all the way back up the ramp.
Heyman: Well, I didn’t know what to expect. Kid says nothing, nothing. Great.
Otunga: Uhhh, ok then. Let’s just go on to the next championship presentation, shall we. Paul, since that was kind of an embarrassing display, I think I’ll give you first dibs here. I’m fair, after all.
Bischoff: So fair.
Otunga: So fair, yes. Proceed, Paul.
Heyman: Ahem, I am proud to present to you the man that will bring upon a wave of greatness to Friday Night SmackDown! Your new reigning! Defending! A Messiah for a WWE Champion, Friday Night’s Guiding Light, Seth Rollins!
A quick burst of bright pyro rocks the arena and the theme song of “Friday Night’s Guiding Light” Seth Rollins begins to play. He slowly walks out onto the stage, hands holding onto the lining of a rather fancy red jacket. He outstretches his arms to the side, then transitions to putting one in the air in front of him, before clenching his fist in time with the music. He makes his way down the ramp and into the ring where Paul Heyman bestows upon him the WWE Championship by placing it onto his shoulder. Paul Heyman hands Seth Rollins the microphone.
Rollins: Remember this moment. Ladies and gentlemen, remember this moment. Cherish it. Embrace it, for you are basking in the presence of omnipotence and greatness. You are witnessing the crowning of the first, and only, new WWE Champion of this new era. The era of “Friday Night’s Guiding Light” Seth Rollins! I promise to lead the way for Friday Night SmackDown! and show why we are superior to this…well, this dumpster fire of a show, as I’m sure Eric Bischoff will show over the course of his employment. Which, if Paul and I have our way, will be very short lived. With someone of my stature at the helm, I feel like it’s downright impossible to top this crowning of a true world champion. Eric, please excuse my rambling, haha, I humbly concede the spotlight to you momentarily so that you may crown whatever unfortunate soul has to try and top me. If you would.
Rollins motions for Eric to stand front and center, which he does, with a smile on his face.
Eric: This is actually surprising, Paul. I would’ve expected you to keep Brock Lesnar out here and make him your champion, but you went with Seth Rollins. I can’t say I hate it; I actually love it! I love Seth Rollins! I love him so much in fact, that I can’t disrespect him by presenting a champion that’s lower than his outright godly presence, right? Which brings me to my selection. There was someone I drafted tonight that intrigued me far more than the rest. Someone that is willing to do anything and everything to be the end-all, be-all on RAW and in this entire company. This person is one-hundred and ten percent World Heavyweight Champion material. In fact, I believe they have more balls than Seth Rollins. They definitely have more balls than any other man in the back, they proved it tonight, actually!…Well, I guess I might as well say it outright…they aren’t a man at all, ladies and gentlemen the new World Heavyweight Champion, Sasha Banks!
Pat: What!
Cole: This is astonishing!
Sasha Banks arrives on the stage, mean-mugging the audience. She scans the arena, which is going wild in a multitude of ways over this historic moment. She locks eyes with everyone in the ring and gives a smug grin to match Bischoff’s.
Sasha makes her way down the ramp and into the ring, making it a point to stare at Seth Rollins as she power walks, stomping her feet with authority.
While her music still plays, she enters the ring, snatches the World Heavyweight Championship from an impressed looking Eric Bischoff, and pushes aside David Otunga to stand in the middle of the ring with a grinning Seth Rollins.
He raises his WWE Championship high above Sasha Banks and receives a chorus of boos over Sasha’s theme. Although shorter, she still raises her World Heavyweight Championship above her head, still staring at Seth Rollins. The crowd loves this display, as they wildly cheer Sasha Banks, who could care less about their approval.
This scene fades to black and goes to commercial as her music continues to play.
Undisputed Championship Match
We come back from break and David Otunga stands on the stage ready to speak.
Otunga: Both Commissioners have submitted their picks to compete in the Undisputed Championship match that is about to take place. Before the Superstars come out, however, let’s find out what stipulation Paul Heyman has chosen for this match.
David Otunga opens up a folded piece of official documentation containing the match stipulation.
Otunga: Sorry to take part of your job Fink, but the following contest will be…A Steel Cage Match!
The audience cheers as a Steel Cage is lowered down onto the ring from above.
Otunga: The competitors have been made aware of this match during the break and are prepared to give it all for their brand. Let’s get this match underway, please welcome the man that will be representing Monday Night RAW…
The crowd cheers at the sight of the rugged, tough, English professional wrestling icon, William Regal. He walks down the ramp, mean-faced and ready to put on a clinic.
Finkel: Making his way to the ring, from Blackpool, England, William Regal!
Pat: This is just a treat! Getting to witness the great William Regal do what he does best! I’m so excited!
Cole: Same Pat, William Regal is one of the greatest to ever lace up a pair of boots. There has been almost nothing this man hasn’t been able to turn into absolute gold.
Once in the ring, he removes his jeweled coat and tosses it out the door of the cage. Regal walks to the ramp facing side of the cage and clutches the wall with both of his hands, shaking it before bringing his face close and biting down as the camera zooms in.
He backs off, going to the opposite side of the ring, awaiting his opponent.
Finkel: And his opponent…
Pat: Welp, I know where my money’s going now, I’m all in on The Animal!
Batista makes his way onto the stage, jacked to the gills. Bursting with energy, Batista readies the machine guns and lets them rip as pyro goes off all around him.
Finkel: From Washington, D.C., he is The Animal Batista!
Batista reaches the end of the ramp and bounces up and down as he looks at William Regal in the cage, who stares back and adjusts his wrist tape. Batista heads up the steps and enters the ring, going past Regal to climb the turnbuckle and flex for the crowd. Regal simply glances over at him and moves to the opposite end of the ring.
Batista hops down and examines Regal, sizing him up. The music stops as the two stand eye to eye and the bell rings.
Regal, now sticking his nose up to Batista, moves close enough to bump chests. Batista chuckles a bit, but is very much taking Regal serious. They exchange inaudible words as the crowd chants “BA-TI-STA!, Let’s Go Regal!” over and over.
Regal slaps Batista’s chest with both of his hands and pushes away. The two back away from each other, circle the ring a few times and meet back with a collar-and-elbow tie-up to start the action. Being the bigger and stronger man of the two, Batista shoves Regal down into a roll. He gets back to his feet, adjusts his trunks, and re-engages in the tie-up.
The veteran manages to get behind Batista, holding him around the waist and tripping him to bring him down to the mat. He puts on a grounded hammer lock, wrenching the arm of The Animal. Adding in a little bit of mind games, Regal uses his free hand to slap the back of Batista’s head a few times. Responding to this, Batista powers out of the grounded hammer lock and transitions into a side waist lock, which he then lifts Regal out of, and turns him head over heels for a Gutwrench slam!
He picks Regal up, sends him into the corner and follows after him with a shoulder straight to the gut! He thrusts his shoulder into Regal a few more times. Regal hunches over but is hit with a back elbow to straighten him up. Batista goes to grab Regal by the sides of his head but is poked in the eyes! Batista backs off and turns around, holding his face.
Regal measures his opponent and comes in, going low for a cop block that brings The Animal down to his knees. Seizing the opportunity, Regal positions himself behind Batista and puts him in a Surfboard Stretch! A few moments later, he turns this into a Dragon Sleeper, bending the muscular man back, likely an extremely uncomfortable situation for a man his size.
The referee comes into see if Batista wants to quit, but he yells out no. Using his considerable strength, Batista forces himself free of the submission hold, but Regal refuses to let up as he begins stomping on The Animal, who then retreats to a seated position in the corner.
Regal runs towards him, going for a cannonball! But this is countered, as Batista just kicks his legs forward to push Regal out of the air and away from him! Both men stagger to their feet and Batista sprints at Regal, nearly cutting him in half with a Spear!
He grabs Regal by the hair and brings him to his feet…then runs with him towards the cage wall and tosses him face first into it! He repeats this again, running to the other side of the cage and tossing him into it as well! Regal’s face is started to stream a bit of blood after coming into contact with the Steel Cage twice. Batista goes over to the hard cam side if the ring, grabs the top rope, shakes it and stomps his foot before doing his signature thumbs up/thumbs down taunt…and Regal hits him with a low blow while he’s turned around! The bloody William Regal presses Batista, now resting on the second rope, face first into the cage wall. He rubs Batista’s face across the steel, grating it with a chef’s precision. Their faces now a matching shade of crimson, Regal brings Batista into the corner and uses his entire body to put him on the top turnbuckle.
He scales up there himself and underhooks the arms of Batista. Leaping off the top, he hits an Avalanche Butterfly Suplex! Both men crash into the mat! Looking incredibly tired, they both get to their feet after around thirty seconds, but regal attempts to climb up the wall and escape!
Batista goes after him, also climbing up the wall next to him. Batista grabs Regal by his hair and starts to bash his head into the wall of the cage. Regal refuses to fall, and through sheer desperation, he grabs the arm of Batista, wraps it around his neck and hops off with a high-risk Regal Cutter!
Regal goes for the pin! One! Two! Batista kicks out! The crowd is loving this match as they are shocked at the action before them. Red-faced, both with blood and anger, William Regal gets up and leans in the corner. As Batista gets to a standing, but hunched over position, Regal runs in for the Knee Trembler! But Batista turns it into a Spinebuster! Regal bounces from the force of the move and ends up on his stomach with his hands underneath him.
Batista uses the ropes to bring himself back to his feet. He is visibly exhausted, but appearing to be in better shape than the almost catatonic William Regal. Batista drags Regal’s body up and sets him up for his patented Batista Bomb. He lifts him up onto his shoulders, but stumbles back a bit, because of his exhaustion, towards the cage door. Suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere, Regal strikes Batista in the head, his body bends backwards sending Regal into and through the Steel Cage door to the outside! Batista goes limp in the ring as regal lays prone on the ground, winning the match!
Finkel: Here is your winner, and the new Undisputed Champion! Monday Night RAW’s William Regal!
Cole: Look, Pat! Look at this hand!
Pat: Which one, the one with gold or the other one?!
Cole: No, Pat look! Regal’s got Brass Knuckles! He knocked out Batista with the Brass Knuckles and his body broke the door!
Pat: The genius! Nothing beats experience, cunning and a mind like William Regal, the new Undisputed Champion!
William Regal walks up the ramp holding the Undisputed Championship against his chest and kissing his Brass Knuckles as the show fades away and the ending lower third appears on screen.
