Nine Tales Entertainment: Worlds Unite Card + Promo Thread

[Rosie]

Presents



From Nippon Budokan in Tokyo, Japan

Main Event
1/60
KATSU vs Yuna Funanori
Singles Match
Match Writer:
Rosie

@Starlight Kid & @AON

Like ships passing in the night, KATSU and Yuna Funaori have never had a chance to meet. But they share a similar trajectory. Yuna, though no stranger to the Japanese scene, gained a following by appearing in FWA wrestling, becoming a cult-favourite, fighting the likes of former FWA World Champion, Danny Toner. In the time since she was gone, another joshi entered the American scene and found success. Katsu. Debuting first under her old identity of Vampyra, she ended up finding a lot of attention in a short time, quickly entering FWA’s F1 Climaxxx field with Yuna’s former rival being injured, and becoming FWA Television Champion. Since then, she has crafted her new identity of Katsu and has only seen her stock-rise. But this mini-dream match has yet to happen, with Yuna’s only appearance in FWA while Katsu was on the roster was in the King of the Deathmatch tournament, which Katsu was not part of.

But now, in their home country, two rising Joshi stars have a chance to showcase their talents in the main event and get bragging rights with it.

1/30
El Vengedor vs Shinzo Omega
Non Title: Singles Match
Match Writer:
Juice (Vinegar)

@Dubble J @Jeff Valley Driver

In an example of two non-Japanese stars who might end up becoming favourites to the Japanese crowd, we have an unexpected match between a rising star in one promotion, and the reigning (forever) Champion in another. Shinzo Omega, the dark brooding striker from Canada rose to the top of AMA becoming its AMA Grand Champion. Though he has since become hungry for competition. This brings him to the land of the rising sun where a striker like him would become cherished. His opponent, a potential rising star in FWA. Ground Zero season four winner, El Vengedor. The masked brawler made instant waves in the promotion, laying out his coach from the season, Katsu, and facing her on FWA’s biggest stage. Despite the loss, the two gained a newfound respect. But with more room to grow, he finds himself in new territory against a top-tier opponent.

1/60
YOKAI Death Squad (Cali Hayama & Ririko) [C] vs Virtue (Miho Watase & Miss Fuka)
CJW Tag Team Championships Match
Match Writer:
Rosie

@Starlight Kid

The implosion of MAYHEM has been building for months in CJW, but FWA fans, the target demographic for this message, have only been able to see just a taste of it. Miho Watase and Miss Fuka, now two former members, were two of the longest serving members. With member Katsu taking regular trips to America for FWA and her two main trios partners, now tag champions, Cali Hayama and Ririko, forming a sub-unit in MAYHEM called YOKAI Death Squad, there was growing distrust between them and their younger members. Once leader Saori Suzuki went on the shelf with a major knee injury, Miho and Fuka saw a chance to potentially remove the ‘less trustworthy’ and potentially replace their injured leader. But, most importantly, get out of the shadows of their supposed allies. They brought up the idea of removing Katsu before, leading to an argument. They would try to announce “new” members to MAYHEM, only for the rest of the group to dismiss them for not getting talked to about the additions.

Finally, YDS managed to unearth their plot. Thus resulting in their plan B: Miho Watase and Miss Fuka leaving the group, having three new allies of their own and now they have what they want, a unit of their own with people they can trust. That has led to a challenge thrown out for the CJW Tag Team Championships, held by Cali Hayama and Ririko. This championship match, seeing that Cali and Ririko have been gaining an international following thanks to their FWA debuts, will be held on a stage where, ideally, there will be more fans to get a taste of a high stakes and personal championship match to show what CJW has to offer.

1/X
Looney Lester vs Bellatrix Bordeaux
Deathmatch

Match Writer:
Blaine

@EaterofWorlds @WelshyBOI

Bellatrix Bordeaux in the past year in FWA has become an unlikely success story. Joining their group of witches, The Coven, she has risen to become a Trios Champion for the company and having some notable singles matches including surviving nearly 20 minutes against former World Champion Michelle von Horrowitz, but especially when the rulebook is thrown out by showing her guts in Deathmatches against Deathmatch Legend Jeffry Mason and even pulling one out over Reagan Cole in a Fallout main event. It would be fitting that for a girl who can take a beating but always get up that NTE finds an entertaining prospect of her facing the King of Greasy Road style, hard hitting, nasty. Looney Lester who has earned a reputation as one of the more infamous Gaijin to make his way in Japan, despite his age, fights with a nasty streak that puts any young boys through the ringer. With the rulebook likely to be bent, it is being thrown out in a Deathmatch. Looney Lester may thrive in this environment, but the Coven’s “Hex Girl” has shown to thrive in this environment. Can Looney Lester put another wrestler down with him facing against a girl who will refuse to quit?

1/20
SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER VS MOIST
Singles Match

Match Writer:
AON

@Jazz Wolf @AON
This match is certainly happening. From Genki Puro, the wettest man in all of pro wrestling (Get your mind out of the gutter) MOIST will fight off against the towering, near unmovable, SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER! Despite SMD’s lack of mobility or dare I say… wrestling ability… He’s proven to be a big attraction whenever he steps foot across the pacific for his sheer size and wonder if he will be able to be knocked down? MOIST, with his slippery tactics, will need to think outside the box to face him. Will this be a five star classic? No. It will likely fall on the obscure side of wrestling. But, it will be quite the sight when these two fight in Tokyo.

1/30
Sawyer Xavier vs Anzu Kurosawa vs Kage Oni
Three-Way Match

Match Writer:
SupineSnake

@EaterofWorlds @SupineSnake @Sully

Anzu Kurosawa, FWA Meltdown commentator, is dusting off her wrestling boots for the first time since FWA’s King of the Deathmatch where she’ll be fighting off against someone she has called the matches plenty of times before, Sawyer Xavier, along with a wildcard in Kage Oni. Xavier in his time in FWA has gained a reputation (for better or worse) as an underdog, showing his promise on key occasions, but also having his fair share of setbacks. Adding appearances in promotions like AMA wrestling and elsewhere, Sawyer has a world of experiences and can check Japan off his list. As for Kage, he is a complete unknown in terms of his backstory, history. All that is known is that he is small, agile, cold, and calculated. Anzu, despite her cheerfulness, has no qualms about bending any rules, and especially in her home country, she will do whatever she can to avoid an upset in front of her people.

1/20
The Ozmanclaimed vs Kung-Fu Boom (Kung-Fu Karl & Jimmy Boom Boom)
Tag Team Match

Match writer:
TBD

@Oz @Mandalorian @Jimmy King

YO! LISTEN!

With NTE looking for some peeps to give BFT in the ring, they picked two rappers with their own unique thing. The Ozmanclaimed have come, their friend’s a priest, between the ropes these dues are beasts. But they can’t be alone, step aside and make room. Their opponents are UA's friends, it’s Kung Fu Boom! This match is as Japanese as American Sushi with a man obsessed with his own tooshie. But fun can be had with this unique mix. Knowing these two teams, they’ll bring their bag of tricks.

1/20
Major Mayhem vs Rio Kobayashi
Singles Match

Match Writer:
Rosie

@Tommy Bedlam @Starlight Kid

Major Mayhem, a veteran of professional wrestling, is about as American as they come. He drinks freedom. His deck is lined with his various firearms as decoration. He is woken up in the morning by the screech of a bald eagle and we can only assume his piss is actually all American beer. We can’t guarantee that any of it is true. Despite his popularity in his home country, his blind Nationalism has made him a hot commodity in Japan for one reason: People will pay to see someone shut up his red, white, and blue pie-hole. Then add his “Troops” who follow him around, he has become a hated villain in the pacific. So, in a chance to shut him up, they call on a rogue. A man who may not be the most beloved, but someone who will go by any means to get a win and silence the American. Rio Kobayashi, a man who returned to a promotion he was once shunned from for leaving as a young boy, who has since made it his mission to lead a Real Generation of professional wrestling. Is it the type of competition Rio is used to facing in DJPW? No. With Major Mayhem’s troops at his call, he will prove to be a hassle to put away, but there’s one thing for certain, this will be one time the crowd will be firmly behind him.

1/30
Dirty Fucking Bastards (Cody Mundz & Bobby “Smooth”) vs FTN (Chris Peacock & Alyster Black)
Non-Title: Tag Team Match

Match Writer
Rawr

@Tig @Mandalorian @Rawr

In a foreigner showcase, we have an infamous tag team in CWA’s history teaming with a team in FWA who has risen to unlikely partners and tag team champions. Bobby “Smooth” and Cody Mundz. Two men with a very hard to beat style with a solid tag team foundation only complimented by a nasty streak and willingness to get their hands dirty. These two after CWA’s closure have been tearing it up internationally, raising hell. In Tokyo, they’ll meet FWA’s Tag Team Champions in non-title action. Both Black and Peacock are already accomplished singles competitors, with Peacock being FWA’s World Champion, and Black having a world title reign of his own AND a record breaking FWA X Championship reign where he arguably raised the title to equal status of the world title in terms of desirability. Though, with bubbling tension rising back in FWA, it’s a wonder if they can continue to co-exist as champions and partners until then. Shame for them NTE don’t care about friendships. Even though these men are foreign to the Japanese scene, with their unique styles and reputation, the crowd is sure to be salivating at this match for pride.

1/20
Aka Manto (Aka Yurei & Keiko Hirabayashi) vs Raijin y Raiju
Tag Team Match
Match Writer:
TBD

@Bobby Barrows @Nostradamus


Aka Manto, two ladies with a history as rivals and now, as partners, return to their home country. Since teaming together in FWA, they have become a strong duo, fighting for the promotion’s FWA World Tag Team Championships, with Aka Yurei herself already being a former champion herself. Their test is one of the fastest Jr Heavyweight tag teams in Japan. From Mexico, the team of masked twin brothers Raijin and Raiju. The dynamic duo have been freelancing both in their home country and in Japan, though not winning any titles yet, have been constant threats and growing fan favourites. A win over Aka Manto would likely result in multiple promotions taking notice. Either result, fans are sure to expect a breathtaking display mixed with Jr heavyweight and Joshi style.

ENGLISH COMMENTARY TEAM:

Play by Play: “The Irish Stallion” James O’Connell

Disposition: Face

James O’Connell has been a broadcaster for sports in the British Isles for decades, hosting radio shows and most notably, calling action in various independent promotions based in Ireland and the UK. But in recent years he has expanded his expertise, taking regular trips to Japan to call the action in English for various Japanese promotions. When asked why, he said “When I am calling a Japanese match, it feels like a genuine sport, like the world cup meets wrestling. And each time I visit, I am always amazed by the country.” With his excitement and knowledge of moves, he’ll provide the beats of the in ring action.

Colour Commentator 1: “Gaijin Superstar” Stephanie Starr

Disposition: Face

Retired from the ring, Stephanie Herendez, better known as Stephanie Starr, was the first woman in COSMIC Joshi Wrestling not from Japan to win their top prize, the Universe of COSMIC Championship. This Latin-American was born in California, but has since spent much of her time in Japan, considering it her second home after having her greatest success there before neck injuries caught up with her. She provides English commentary for her former promotion at times and is fluent in English, Spanish, and Japanese. Smart woman who has grown to respect a lot of Japan’s in-ring traditions so she understands what it is like to compete in the environment.

Colour Commentary 2: “The Dubb” Bobby Joel

Disposition: Heel

Ol’ BJ, following the trend of many Gaijin, was the cowboy hat-wearing villain that many Japanese crowds loved to hate. Though he wasn’t someone who was going to take your head off with a lariat, he was able to bend every rule imaginable in multiple promotions to get ‘The Dubb’, capturing titles as a wrestler. Despite some personal set-backs, Joel has remained semi-active as a wrestler for big matches, but primarily does commentary in some promotions. Though he can still give respect to the ‘heroes’ he’s always been an advocate for cheating and not getting caught.

Rules:

Promos are to be 2000 words Maximum. This includes the title of it if there is one.

Judges will be (trying our best) using the FWA grading scale. For detailed info to non-FWA peeps, it is in the FWA Rules and Information thread. To summarize:

Quality of content/match selling/theme/story/length = /15
Presentation/spelling/grammar = /5
Creativity in approach, theme, style, story = /10
Character portrayal = /5
Character development (Admittedly harder for a one off, but these points can be “made up” elsewhere) = /5

Promo deadlines will be in over a month month ending:

Sunday 8th October at 11:59PM Pacific Time.
Which is Monday 9th October at 03:00am Eastern Time.
Which is Monday 9th October at 08:00am UK Time.
Which is Monday 9th October at 5:00pm Melbourne Time.
Which is Monday 9th October at 04:00am Atlantic Time.
Which is Monday 9th October at 04:30am Newfoundland Time, because Newfoundland.

Good luck, have fun!

Notes:

If you want to write any of the unclaimed matches, let me know via DM on Discord or on the forum.

​

 

[AON]

The cloudy skies darkened and twisted above the friendship, its light-varnished oak body creaking and groaning in gentle protest at the steadily roiling sea as it swelled and knocked it to and fro. The ship's grand black sails snapped and billowed on the buffeting winds, ropes and rigging lashing out at

The deckhands scurried across the deck as the first droplets of biting cold rain began to fall.

"Swab the deck, ya useless cur" roared the rough, weary tones of tough-looking man Olivier Corsair above the first rumblings of thunder as he stood
above a younger man with stubble and an eye patch: Salvador Mendoza. "And secure that rigging 'lest ya want to be whipped into' Davy Jones' Locker By Bad Henry"

His stern directions were, as always, closely observed. Silently, he points acknowledged by a mountain of a man nearly seven-foot-tall shirtless to
show off his sixteen-pack as his Hands clasped firmly on the mahogany wheel of the Hangman's helm, thick black leather boots planted firmly on the sterncastle deck; Bad Henry remained tall, strong and resolute amidst the growing unrest in the sea and his crew alike.

"Do you want to get Bad Henry in a bad mood?"

"... He's always in a bad mood."

"No, shit, what do you expect? Do you think his name is "Friendly" Henry" or "Happy Go Lucky" Henry? No,-

Ay,' Are you slacking off on your work?! Because if you are...that would be...Bad"

"No Bad Henry; I'm taking care of it

"I'm going as fast as I can-!"

"The captain expects a clean desk that she could eat your dinner off of. If those decks aren't spotless, things are going to get......"

.....

....

"Bad"

Oliver and Salvador share a look momentarily with each other as they set about their business, muttering to themselves.

"I mean, you gotta admit, he's on-brand. I just think he's overcommitting on the whole "Bad" thing."

"Well, maybe when YOU find a gimmick, you can steer the ship.

"It's not even a gimmick! He just ends all of his sentences with "Bad"

...Is this because I called you a useless curr?

"...That was really hurtful."

"Come on, let's hug it out."

Ah, well, this is a sweet moment; nothing is more heartwarming than two pirate friends hugging it out after an intense situation if nothing else."

....Says the man in the well-dressed three-piece suit currently tied to the mast with heavy rope, which was here staring at the scene the entire time.

"Yeah, well, I think it's important that two friends are able to express vulnerability with each other."

"Rule number 1354 of the pirate code-The most important ship we'll ever sail is a friendship."

"Unfortunately, rule number 1355- Is anyone from a wrestling organization that comes to the captain with an offer, has to get tied to the mast..."

"That seems like a very specific rule for an ancient pirate code."

"It was made in 2014."

".....someone created a pirate code in 2014? Ok, that just makes no sense-"

BAM-!

A shot rings out throughout the ship, causing every single person to freeze and turn in the direction of where the shot came from to reveal Yuna Funanori, clad in her captain's coat and bright white tri horned hat, holding a smoking cutlass in the air, as she stomps forward with the energy and the authority that belies the fact that she is a small woman in a ridiculous outfit who regularly bosses around big tough looking men twice her size. That's the real power of leadership: the sheer presence of Yuna, her raw charisma, is enough to leave the rest of her crew silent as the grave...

That or she's an insane person with an old timy gun. There's always that to consider.

"Did someone say SENSE?"

The man in a formal suit seems to realize he's at the mercy of a crazed pirate who also happens to be one of the deadliest Joshi wrestlers there's ever been.

"Well, yes, I did wonder-"

"You are a big fancy man wondering how you came to be tied to the mast of a super cool pirate ship yes?"

"Well, yes"

"It doesn't make sense, yes?"

"No, it doesn't"

"EXACTLY-! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL! ISN'T LIFE SO MUCH BETTER WHEN LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! EMBRACE THE NONSENSE. NOTHING MAKES SENSE. NOTHING MEANS EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING MEANS NOTHING. EMBRACE THE NOTHING. EMBRACE THE VOID"

"....Miss Funanori... You're scaring me."

"Good, embrace the fear! Dance with me, mr. Fancy man, dance the dance of life!"

A scrambling laugh escapes the lips of Yuna Funanori as she shoots the pistol up in the air again and again, while the rest of the pirates stand there with very forced smiles while they all try to avoid eye contact with each other. At the same time, the man in the suit tries to frantically talk over Yuna's mad ramblings and tries to insert a fair amount of rationality into the situation.

" Look, I'm just here on behalf of Nine Tales Entertainment....

"Never heard of it. Do you in fact, have Nine tales.

The man just chooses to ignore this and pushes ahead and gets to the point,

"You and Katsu. In Japan. Main event.

Instantly Yuna Funanori deminour shifts, her face drops and her eyes narrow. The crew stood at attention, waiting for word on what to do next from their fearless captain...and soon it came.

"Set a course for Nippon Budokan.

"What do we do about this guy"

"Let the first mate decide his fate.

The official seems to sigh in relief....

Until he hears the telltale sounds of a long drawn out squawk. The colour drains from his face as he turns around to face an adorably bloodthirsty parrot.
-------------------

"Sailing down the Shinano and weighing down my anchor at home port, where you are a world traveler going home, is such a strange concept, yet at World's United Yuna Funaouri does indeed come home for a very special reason

"It is a well-known fact that we don't know about the ocean's depths. What is down in the ever-so-dark abyss? Perhaps the answer to 'nothing' is more
frightening than a mythological squid or a hidden city. There are some who are courageous enough to look into the dark abyss with an unwavering certainty. Others aren't so lucky. One woman in particular goes by the name "Katsu.' a name I am hearing more and more of as time goes by. She is dark and mysterious. She can turn the warmest of seas into ice upon arrival.so what's to say that the creature lying in the darkest, coldest depths of the deep blue sea? is a clever little fox. It's... a scary thought, to say the least. But if I wish to be the very best there is, I must dive
deep within my heart and muster up the courage and shine through even the darkest of trenches! Katsu is a terrifying foe but a foe I wish to face nonetheless. For a pirate does not fear anyone! Not even the unknown!"

But then again, I suppose that Katsu and Yuna aren't truly strangers to each other; after all, can two people truly be strangers if they walk the same paths? Me and Katsu both faced a choice at some point in our careers: we could either stay home, stay in lands we knew and loved and held dear, or we could do something more. We could go out to seek our fortunes in far-off, uncharted lands. We can follow the siren song of our hearts and let fate decide what happens when we sail off the side of the wrestling map. This is not an easy choice to make, and many would be fine staying put in their comfort zone, never to seek the extraordinary. So to, one intrepid explorer to another, I tip my captain's hat to you, Katsu, and I salute you for putting the Joshi passion, heart and spirit on the world stage for the wrestling public to marvel at.

But do not ever forget, you and your friends are sailing a course that I charted. That you are standing on the shoulders of Yuna Funaouri. But do not worry. I do not expect thanks, nor do I ask for it. All I ask from you, Katsu, is one simple thing.

That at World United, you do not come to wrestle; you do not come just to say "Hi, hello. I'm just here to warm up for whatever future glories that FWA might have planned for you." No, if you are coming to do battle with the pirate queen herself. Do not do so lightly. Because when I take out my sword, I do not do so lightly; Yuna does not spar. She fights. She dances the beautiful tango of blood and violence, so if you are not willing to learn the steps, then don't bother coming home. Stay in FWA with your crew mates, where it's nice and safe, clear waters away from sharp rocks, but if your heart seeks adventure. If you, like me. Crave battle and wish for nothing more than to show the world how beautiful our passion for violence is. Then I say come- Chart a course right into the deep dark unknown, sail into the heart of the storm and find out just what lays on the edge of a pirate's blade.

You and me. Katsu. You and me and the devil make three in the cold and violent sea....Yuna is willing to shake hands with the devil for our art. How about you?​

 

[AON]

The following is a scene from everyone's favourite anime: SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER VS ALL THE FORCES OF EVIL.
​

People had called Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic an unhinged madman, but the necromancer's insanity was nothing compared to the Super Massive Destroyers jaw... literally unhinging! Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic, might not have been as surprise were it a reptilian species of some sort - Lizardfolk, Argonian, Reptoid, anything - but a half robot half human? To call watching it's mouth expand to the point that an entire cheese wheel fit 'unsettling' was an understatement.

"Are you...are you even ch-chewing?" Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic, asked, his eyes narrowing as his face twisted in discomfort. The hero just stared back at him with a ferocious intensity while lifting up a roast chicken. His teeth sank into it, but he did not bite through; rather, he was just using them to hold the chicken in place as he shoved it inch-by-inch into his gullet.

Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic, felt nauseous. He had not had a stomach in over eight centuries, but this was getting to him. The spell that had been glowing in his staff had long since faded away as his concentration was utterly destroyed. Another wheel of cheese came out of the Super Massive Destroyer's pack, and as he opened his mouth again, Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic, could see the whole chicken still in the process of being swallowed.

"Please stop," the mage said weakly, taking a step back. Super Massive Destroyer stepped forward as he forced the cheese into his mouth, not even blinking as he glared at Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic.

"Stop this at once!" Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic, said, pointing his staff threateningly, but fear was gripping the necromancer now. He had done some despicable and disgusting things, but this was unnatural, even beyond his dark magic.

When the Super Massive Destroyer pulled a watermelon out of his chest, Vetkaros, the Undying, High Lich King and Master of Time and Magic, shrieked and threw the staff down on the ground. He turned and ran away, glancing back as he made for the hidden escape tunnel and saw only Super Massive Destroyer, watermelon half in his mouth, giving chase.

Rockets and lazars were one thing, but being able to eat large amounts of food in one mouthful in the most unsettling thing in the universe.​

--------------
Cut to a pre-recorded interview segment that I'm sure we're all looking forward to-Super Massive Destroyer that would be better served doing something like that, which runs down the card, talks about what has led up to this point and all of that. This time? The pre-show consisted of interviews with most of the wrestlers. All the wrestlers would be interviewed separately, of course, throughout the show, but since we're talking about Super Massive Destroyer, we should focus on the Super Massive Destroyer interview, right? Of course! The pre-show just recapped the main event matches as we have one more interview to go (Mostly because...they've been putting him off), and if you were counting down? You knew exactly who it was! The scene cuts to the backstage part of the massive oversized frame and ridiculously stupid outfit of the SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER. Behind the SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER was a television screen that showed the official logo of Nine Tails Entertainment-World united, as a small graphic appeared in the bottom left corner of the screen and it read "LIVE in 6 minutes!" as we would go live in six minutes time. As we see Super Massive Destroyer trying to pump himself up while at the same time, speaking in a very muffled voice thanks to the uncomfortable mask resting on his face.

"SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER. BIG MATCH. WORLD UNITED. DO BATTLE WITH THE WET MAN. MOIST. MOIST IS PUNY, AND I WEEP FOR HIM, FOR HE IS NEITHER SUPER NOR MASSIVE, NOT LIKE ME AND EVERYONE WHO SUBSCRIBES TO THE SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND WATCHES THE SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER SUPER SIZED SERIES MARATHON. WHO ARE SUPER IN EVERY WAY. FOR HE IS VERY MOIST. BUT IN SPACE, EVEN THE BIGGEST BLACK HOLE CAN SUCK ALL THE MOISTURE IN THE UNIVERSE IF IT SO CHOOSES, AND THERE'S ONLY ONE BEING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE THAT CAN HOLD THE POWER OF THE BLACK HOLE IN HIS FIST THANKS TO THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP! AND THAT IS...MOIST-!"

Awkward pause

"NO, NOT MOIST. HE CAN NEVER HANDLE SUCH POWER, FOR THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP CAN ONLY BE USED BY I, THE SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER AND AT NAILE TALES, MOIST SHALL BE SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM AND BE SUPER MASSIVELY DESSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTROYYYYYED


Awkward flex of his big muscles, as he freezes in time, as we fade out....

Except...we don't, Super Massive Destroyer's eyes flash to the side, clearly having more time on his promo than he thought, and he just used his big killer finishing line...and now has to keep talking.

"AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE-I'M GOING TO...TO...TO...TO DO A TON OF OTHER STUFF TO YOU. LIKE SLAMMING YA, AND PUNCHING YOU AND ALSO POSSIBLY KICKING YOU. BECAUSE I'M THE SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER, AND THAT'S WHAT I DO, AND I CAN DO MORE STUFF, YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT OTHER STUFF I'M GOING TO DO, BUT...COME NINE TAILS...TALES...WHATEVER...THE SHOW MIGHT AS WELL BE CALLED "THE BIG SHOW, WHERE THE SUPERMASSIVE DESTROYER BEATS UP MOIST"

There is an awkward, prolonged pause as he poses once again, but once again, he hasn't reached his cue yet, so he has to think of stuff on the fly.

"So...A-HA...Yep. Ya better get ready for ALL the things I'm going to do, so you should-"

And the picture shuts down, cutting Super Massive Destroyer off mid-sentence as he fails to time manage the promo effectively.​

 

[Rosie]

Reminder Post that the deadline is in a lil less than two weeks: Just a tag to give it a chance for people to see. Also big shout to AON for getting promos done early. I'm sure the FWA peeps can find time between promo period for Lights Out and the show being up.

@Tig @Mandalorian @Rawr @Oz @Bobby Barrows @Nostradamus @Tommy Bedlam @EaterofWorlds @SupineSnake @Sully @Jazz Wolf @WelshyBOI @Starlight Kid (Yes, I am included) @Dubble J @Jeff Valley Driver

 

[Rosie]

Thunder cackles in the distance. Rain violently downpours from the sky. Under the dark sky, a masked woman lies on the deck of the ship. Her mask has fox-like features, her eyes are closed. She has a pirate dress on which has become drenched in the rain. Katsu Her hands twitch mildly. Slowly, she gets up as a rope is around her neck. At the end of it is a large bird. As she slowly comes too, she takes notice of her surroundings. She is on an old boat in the middle of a violent storm. The boards of the ship creek as the walks.

“Hello?” She shouts.

“Is anyone there?”

Katsu takes some steps and notices the waterfowl around her neck. She looks bewildered.

“How did this happen?”

She shakes her head. It isn’t the only thing to worry about. She looks around.

“Hello? Is anyone around?”

The waves of the ship ripple in the furious winds. She heads up to the bow of the ship. Water as far as the eye can see. Only violent waves and a dark sky with no breaks from the storm. A strong gust of wind blows and waves crash overboard from the violent seas! Katsu stumbles backwards, falling back to the lower deck of the ship.

“Uhhg.”

She grabs her head, pounding after a hard fall. She does not hear a single footstep, and yet, a figure soon looms over her.

His clothes appear tattered with a long and dirty beard. But, his skin appears to be… translucent. His boots are next to Katsu’s and gives a jolly laugh. A similar bird seems to be around his neck, with a rope tying the bird to him.

“Ho ho! Looks like I have a stowaway!”

“Did I hit my head too hard?”

Katsu groggily responds as she sits up.

“Get up, lass.” The mysterious mariner jokes, “I don’t think swabbing the deck would do you any good in this weather.”

Getting to her feet, Katsu looks up at the mysterious stranger, she doesn’t say anything as she is struggling to wrap her head around this situation. The ship captain notices the bird around her neck. He chuckles.

“Someone has a burden now, does she?” He touches it with his hand and it passes through the bird. “Or dare I say, a bird-en. Haha!”

“What?” Katsu looks down at the bird.

“An albatross. Don’t you know them?”

Katsu stutters, raising her hand. She’s confused.

“Let’s back up. I-I have too many questions. Just, start from the beginning. Where am I?”

Placing his sword down, he looks around.

“This is the fabled Eighth Sea. An unknown place between living and death. Many sailors come here, few return.”

“Am I… dead?” Katsu asks frightenedly.

“No. I imagine something else sent you here. A force unknown to you.”

Looking around, Katsu takes in the storm around here, the power of these waves. She does not know how to react.

“Don’t be upset now, lass. It is an honour to go through these seas.” He turns to the front of the ship, looking off. “These seas have drawn many warriors, pirates, and adventurers. From the bold to the wise. The greedy to the selfless. Many foreign to these lands come in hopes of building their legacy to return home a conquering hero.”

He turns to the masked woman.

“Do you know that feeling?”

Katsu nods. “I have seen many who have travelled far to make their mark. Many in my home. Some head back wearing their time like a badge of honour. Some lucky few get to stay. Those I have great respect for as my friends.”

“Do you do so as well?” The ghost pirate asks her.

Katsu nods.

“I have. Let’s just say I have travelled far to do so as well. I brave these dangerous seas, though I always return home and back.”

“Why is that?”

Katsu thinks and truthfully, she can’t give a straight answer. Why does she put herself through as much as she has?

“There is an answer. But maybe I’m searching for it.”

“And I think you will find it, with time, lassie.” The seaman gives a smile with his beard. Pointing with his swords out to the open waves, there is a bolt of lightning in the distance, the boat rocks the waves.

“I have seen many strong willed people like you ride these waves before. People who are cut from the same cloth. Though many fall beneath the power of these waves, you remain standing.”

“People like me?”

Katsu hums. She thinks through some of the same people who have adventures in the same lands as her.

Another flash of lightning.

In the distance, a faint outline of a pirate’s ship is seen. Its sail is tattered.

“And I see their ghosts still haunt these shores.”

On the ship far away is the silhouette of a pirate. From the curves, we can tell it is a female pirate with a parrot on her shoulder.

“Yuna?”

Yuna Funanori’s name slips from her lips.

“Aye.” The ghost nods.

Katsu walks to the edge of the ship and looks across at a spectre who has yet to cross her path, but yet the two seem forever connected. All because of the waters they traverse through and where they were born.

“I have heard much about her adventures.” Katsu mutters. “The map she charted is one which I have seen others like myself, Aka, Ririko, all have sailed on since. In some ways, we can’t escape her, even if she is long gone.”

Looking down, Katsu takes note of the dead bird around her neck. The albatross as described by the pirate.

“So, now that we got that covered.” Katsu turns to meet the pirate, pointing at the bird. “What about these ‘unwanted friends’ around our necks?”

“The Albatross?” He looks before sitting down on a stool on deck. “Let me explain, lass.”

Katsu takes a seat across from him and listens.

“There once was a Mariner who found himself in ice filled waters. An Albatross flew down to lead the ship to safety. Even after the kind deed, the Mariner raised his crossbow and shot the albatross.”

“How do I sympathise with that bird…” Katsu chuckles.

“Well, that action would lead to a curse on the ship. Misfortune would follow and the crew would force the captain to wear the bird around his neck, a reminder of what he did. Soon he would meet… a terrible fate.”

Slowly, he turns to Katsu. “When one has an Albatross around their neck, there is something hindering them. Whether a previous act resulting in guilt, or a trait which prevents them from moving on. So tell me, what weighs on you?”

Katsu looks at the ghost. She thinks and simply responds.

“Lots. Some of which I have come to grips with as much as I can. Uhh, to pursue my dreams, I lied to many people. I hid a part of my life. I pretended to be something that wasn’t connected to me. But I shed it. That ‘albatross’ is gone, my guilt absolved by the ones I hurt. Instead, there is something I have pride in.” She points to the mask she wears on her face and has worn for much of the past year.

“That, I do believe you.” The mariner strokes his beard. “But there must be something else, is there not?”

Katsu slowly nods.

“There has to be.”

“Any sound defeats?”

“Many.” Katsu says. “Some hurt more than others. But I know things heal with time.”

“Hmm…”

The Mariner stands up, pacing around Katsu, trying to get a read on her.

“You are young, I say?”

She nods. “Twenty-two.”

“Aye…”

He examines her closer.

“You appear to be somewhat mature for your age, and yet, not?”

“What do you mean?” Katsu asks before clarifying further. “I am not saying you’re wrong. Just want to hear what you have to say.”

“You appear to have been through quite a load. A lifetime of pain in just so many years. You seem even capable of guiding those older than you if needed. And yet, you’re still young, headstrong, emotional. The albatross appears not just for those with guilt, but for personal burdens. What burdens you?”

Katsu closes her eyes, taking deep breaths in and out. She’s almost meditating to clear her mind.

“Well, what is it?” The Mariner asks again. One word escapes Katsu’s lips.

“Pressure.”

Opening her eyes, she explains.

“The many adventures I take. The need to always get better… I put so much pressure on myself. I rarely have the time to sit back. Failure frustrates me. Failing those who rely on me infuriates me. I always hold myself to a higher standard because I don’t want to be seen as… not worthy, always weak.”

The Mariner places his ghostly hand on Katsu’s shoulder.

“I believe you. But why? Why does it burden you?”

The masked woman takes a deep breath. “Because I’m scared of failure. So I push, push, push until I can’t go any more and it has broken me before.”

“And why? Why do you need to do that?” He asks again, playing therapist for her.

“-Because I sacrificed so much to be here. But… I also find that someone like me… Uhh, people don’t expect to go far.”

She looks up at the Mariner. “They see this small Japanese woman and think she’s nothing, or that she can only go far…” She clarifies. “Or at least I think they think that…”

“Why?”

Katsu’s head turns slowly. She looks out to the ship far off in the distance, the one Yuna is on. There is a small gulp. “Because people like me have ridden those waters before.”

Getting up, Katsu walks back to the edge of the ship, almost possessed. “I think of these women like me who have been to the places I have been. I think of their success, but also their short-comings. How Aka has been in and out. Then Yuna, how she seemed to have created fond memories but… Never left beyond a certain level once she ran the gauntlet.”

The wind blows through her hair sticking out of her mask and the tattered pirate’s dress.

“I don’t want to force myself to match what they did. I believe I need to go farther. Not just for me… But for anyone that wishes to follow me. Break new ground so that people like me can have those opportunities. It is a self-imposed burden, but one I take responsibility for.”

“And how will you do that, then?”

Far off in the distance, the young pirate has a devious smirk. Her demonic parrot squawks. With a coldness in Katsu’s voice, she says.

“By escaping from the shadow of the pirate… Only then I will feel a weight off my neck.”

“Far more simpler than what the man in the tale did.” The Mariner explains. “They say the Mariner still roams the earth, telling people about his story so that people may learn from his mistakes.”

Katsu turns to the kind Mariner.

“Then tell me, how did you end with your Albatross?”

Slowly, a knowing grin appears on his face. There’s a small twinkle in his eyes.

“I already told you, young lady.”

Katsu’s eyes widened.

“Go onwards. End your burden.”

A bolt of lightning strikes the ship.

Katsu flinches, but remains unharmed as the Mariner who greeted her-

Is gone.

Feeling around her neck, she feels that the rope is gone. Looking down on the ground, she sees the Albatross lie, the rope cut. Feeling free, Katsu looks across at the ship with Yuna. She takes to the wheel, clutching it in her hands.

“Make sail to Funanori. Take the fight to Yuna. Instead of a cross, the Albatross about your neck will hang.”

The ship makes a slow turn, heading towards Yuna where a new challenge awaits.

​

 

[Rosie]

@Tig @Mandalorian @Rawr @Oz @Bobby Barrows @Nostradamus @Tommy Bedlam @EaterofWorlds @SupineSnake @Sully @Jazz Wolf @WelshyBOI @Starlight Kid @Dubble J @Jeff Valley Driver

This is a Five Day Warning. If you guys really need an extra day or two, let me know either in the original sign up thread, or on a DM here or Discord. If so, I'll add a couple days since I know the PPV is coming up.

Edit: Current extensions.

Kung Fu Boom vs Ozmanclaimed (Two days)
Rio Kobayashi vs Major Mayhem (Two Days)
Shinzo Omega vs El Vengedor (Two Days)
FTN vs DFB (Two days)
Aka Manto v Raijin y Raiju (Two Days)
Bellatrix Bordeaux vs Looney Lester (Two Days)

 

[Rosie]

Spoiler

Rain pours from the grey skies, soaking the mud below. In the far distance, bombs burst in the air, creating explosions just catching the ear. Lined up is a group of soldiers all in black. Their helmets have face masks. Etched on them in paint are various designs, often with a mix of white and red with the deep black of the helmet. Firearms rest on their shoulders and they are unflinching despite the unpleasant weather. Flying in the back of them are a mix of flags. Mostly it is the Japanese flag, with its red circle on a white backdrop. Next to it is a far more bold design. It is a dark flag with silver designs, text reading “GEN: Real.” Walking across from them is someone in a suit. His long dark hair flows to his shoulders. He is of Japanese descent. On his face is a combination of a mustache and a sole patch, surprisingly working as a combination. The man’s shoes step through the mud, not caring how dirty they get. He looks across at the soldiers, a calmness in his demeanor as he has his hands in his pockets. He speaks to them in Japanese, text appearing on the screen for the translation.

“Gentlemen, why?”

He raises his nose slightly.

“Why must we fight? Why must two sides fight until the very end until one man stands?”

Pacing along his front line, the man pulls out a flower from his coat, a rose. He takes a sniff from it.

“Why, I wish there was a time where we could stop and smell the roses, be free of the sins of our ancestors. But that is not the case as we fight in this rippled world.”

There is a calmness in his voice, well spoken, intelligent. “Look… Look at the enemy.”

Pointing across the battlefield, under the rain, we see the faint outlines of four individuals. One who clearly stands in charge, has combat boots and is relatively built, fueled by pure testosterone. Next to him is a female frame, standing at attention. To his other side, an older man, likely his right hand, with a shaggy beard. Below the waists of all three is a short man.

“Why do they fight?”

He asks his army. His gaze heads towards the flag waving behind them. It is tattered, but still there. Bearing on it are the iconic, red, white, and blue stars and pinstripes of the United States.

“They fight for their flag. They fight for a flag that has not cared about them in decades. An ideal which has been long gone. Ideas written down on paper by men who were visionaries of their time, but were a product of a different time…”

The screen fades slightly. Blurring over the image of the soldiers is a piece of old paper, written in old ink.

“Their message has become lost in translation, forcing people to decipher the message, trying to fill in gaps which could not have been seen. Yet they aim to preserve this past to the point of nostalgia. A time where they were on top of the world after the decimation of countless lives. But while they look to the past, the world passes them by. New ideas take shape. In a world of new ideas which build upon what was said long ago, and learning from their mistakes, what do they do?”

The leader turns to his troops.

“Nobody?” There’s a small smirk on his face. “Okay then. They come dragging, kicking and screaming, trying to pull us back into darkness. Instead of learning, building on what had happened, improving and growing, they rip the world back to its foundation, leaving those under them to suffer. They turn a blind eye-”

He looks up.

“Because they look up, blinded by the light from the City upon a hill. They create themselves as the heroes. People who have a special place in history. And yet… There is this arrogance, while at the same time praising a man who lived in modesty… They preach hate… for those who are different-”

Clutching his rose closer, there is something stinging below the surface.

“Telling people like me to go home, not letting go of a near century of history, and yet, they were taught to love thy neighbour…”

He takes a deep breath, explaining to his soldiers.

“I was fortunate enough to travel the world. I see their influence everywhere. It is not all bad. But I have grown to see the effects and how there are monsters peeking up around the world, inspired by their same arrogance. The lesser of two evils?”

He hums, before clarifying.

“A lesser evil is still an evil, and they fight for their evil… When they can do better.”

His voice drags on. Adjusting his jacket, he glances at the men fighting with his cause.

“And we are used to this evil at home, are we? Old leaders-”

Images on the screen flash of Rio Kobayashi’s early career. Him as a young wrestler teaming with veteran wrestlers. Some appear to be still in good shape, others have their bellies bulging out, past their physical prime. They would be seen reprimanding Rio for minor mistakes. While this is going on, there are brief glimpses of politicians, particularly American, those who are older, some wise, others who are out of touch.

“Ones who are taught one way and hold it close to their chest because it is all they know. Instead of letting the wings of their future spread, create something amazing, or teach them the lessons they have learned, they trap them in the same cage they were brought up in.”

Emphatically, he points to the other side of the battlefield.

“THIS IS NO NEW EVIL! This is the same evil at home under a new flag!”

Rio Kobayashi tries to compose himself. He pulls one arm out to the side, spinning around.

“Gentlemen, what do you want? Do you want those who wish to drag the world behind? Or-”

Spreading his other arm out, the one with the rose, Rio raises his voice.

“Or the ones who will bring a golden age!? A NEW ERA!?”

“SIR YES, SIR!”

The army shouts. They are completely behind Rio.

“That is what I thought… I am humbled by you.”

He twirls his rose in his fingers, delicately dancing around the thorns.

“Because I simply see myself as a man with a vision. But any visionary is nothing without those who take his ideas and give them life, meaning, and what we want is a new world…”

Fading in and out of the screen is footage of Rio Kobayashi returning from his self-exile to his home country. The small black trunks are gone and returning is a calm, cool, dark exterior, rose in hand.

“One where the young and the bold can rise to the top. Become the leaders we need. The ones with the time to see their actions through. We want people not shackled to the ideas of the past, but people who are willing to break the cycle!”

He shows a level of passion not seen before. His conviction in his ideals is strong.

“While these men across from us fight to not lose what they hold dear… We fight for a better future. At one point, they were the revolutionaries, acting in defiance of their king. But now we are the revolutionaries, aiming to topple the men who have become the very thing they swore to destroy, tyrants!”

The army turns around, readying their firearms.

“We will protect our shorelines.

We will bring in a new generation.

We will become the real revolutionaries!”

Raising his rose, Rio Kobayashi shouts.

“Onwards, to battle!”

With a shout, his army rushes forward. Men behind the front lines aim the cannons and the two armies go head to head. Cannons fire, unearthing the ground as fragments shoot in the air. Bullets are fired as men from both sides take casualties.

Rio Kobayashi though… is calm. Walking forward, the world around him is literal war, men losing their lives as gunfire is spread and everything explodes. Things move slowly as he closes his eyes, taking a smell of his rose. The opposing general, seeing his enemy approaches, panics. He sends his smallest troop to confront him.

The little man charges towards Kobayashi, frothing at the mouth. Rio simply points as a bullet takes aim at the petite private, sending him back.

The Major’s femme fatale runs next. Her presence does not disturb the opposing general. He simply winks, blowing a kiss towards her, charming her. She stops, blushing in place-

As a cannon fire is shot her way, blowing up the ground around her.

Kobayashi steps through the smoke, unscathed. The Major turns to his more senior member, who runs the other way. Leaving just the Major and Kobayashi. The Japanese man shows a confident smirk.

“This is nothing personal. You simply are somebody in the way of our future.”

Raising his hand with the rose, he points at the major.

“FIRE!”

He shouts. Several guns point towards him. Cannons from a distance shoot. The Major covers his face, bracing for impact as his world is showered in a rain of bullets and fire. His platform is in ruin.

Walking up to the wreckage. Rio Kobayashi looks over the deceased major. His body is burnt, lifeless. His helmet has flown off his head. Kneeling over him, Rio Kobayashi looks into his lifeless eyes.

“I send my regards, Major. I will make sure you are not forgotten. Because you will be a lesson for the future. Your tale will be told for generations. It will be-”

He clears his throat. Raising his flower, he places it on the Major’s chest.

“'Major MAYHEM and the End of American Exceptionalism.' Arigatō, my friend.”

Rio Kobayashi stands up and walks off, leaving the deceased Major to be claimed by his troops later. In the background of the video, as the camera zooms away, high above him, plays the echo of children singing.

“O’er the land of the free…

and the home of the brave.”
​

 

[Comrade Khan]

Divine Wisdom

Spoiler: Zen Shrine backround music

Takamori-machi Shrine, Kyushu Island, Japan

We find ourselves in a vast forest located deep in the Kumamoto prefecture on Kyushu island, Japan , near the town of Takamori-machi. A quiet and secluded shrine lays atop a long winding path enclosed by rows of old stone lanterns now covered in moss after centuries spent in the wilderness. At the entrance of the path stands a large and ancient Torii gate indicating to travelers that a shrine is indeed present here.

As we go down the path towards the gate, we see Shinzo Omega standing in the shadow of its arched roof. His head is down in a low bow and covered by a light fabric black hood draped down over his eyes and hanging over his nose. His arms are crossed midway across his chest with his left hand around his right wrist. As we approach a little close, the AMA Grand Champion tilts his head up to reveal his patented mischievous grin.


“I have always been almost a bit jealous of how the land of Japan was shaped by a theology which has such a deep rooted respect for nature. Take a look around this shrine which lives and exists harmoniously within its environment, instead of swallowing it. If only we would have such wisdom still today, perhaps there would be less chaos.”

“ But without chaos, who knows if I would even have a place to call home”

Shinzo chuckles to himself for a moment, knowing that as much as ever lasting peace sounds harmonious that he would be lost without the chaotic violence of the squared circle.

“Japan is also rich in tradition when it comes to the wrestling ring and make no mistake about it, Shinzo Omega is in the land of the rising sun to cave some poor soul's nose into his skull.”

Shinzo uncrosses his arms, interlays his fingers and stretches out his knuckles to a satisfying crack. He then removes his hood to reveal his face. Crude white paint with thick red red lines in a traditional Japanese war paint style have been applied on his visage.

“The land of Strong Style and honor. It’s always been a place I could see as a future home for me and a place where my skill set obviously thrives. It has been a long time since I have revisited and now that I have conquered American soil by winning the AMA Grand Championship, it is only fitting that I return to conquer this land as well.”

Shinzo is wearing a long gray overcoat and flares it open on the left side to reveal the AMA Grand Championship title wrapped around his waist. He looks down and admires it for a second, taking his right sleeve and spending a quick moment polishing it before realizing he was in the middle of a declaration of war.

“And while I may not be defending this title at World’s Unite against this apocalyptic zombie of some sort, Vengador, I will be representing this championship, I will be representing AMA and I definitely don’t plan on leaving this new battle arena with a loss.”

Shinzo then shifts his focus on his opponent, Vegador, a demonic luchador draped in skulls who touts himself a vengeful anti-hero. Sitting at 6 '5'’ feet the larger than life (or maybe unlife!?) claims to have crossed into our plane of existence from the Real of Despair. Perhaps this shrouded ogre could have been an ally in a different situation, Shinzo ponders as he finds these respectable aspirations even if absurd on the surface. After all, his own backstory would seem ludicrous to the laymen.

“I won’t be taking Vengador lightly either. Rumors are he is not human and not of this world, he’s a mountain of a man, if he is a man and on top all of that he is a Ground Zero winner, conquering season 4. You might think that’s a psychotic challenge to take on while I have a championship to defend at home and all kinds of commitments as the top representative of a company but if you’ve followed my career and now what I’m about, then you know these kinds of fights and challenges are where I thrive the most.”

Shinzo definitely strives for these wars but it certainly has taken a toll on his physical and mental well being. His body already bears many scars, wraps and medical tape. One also does not need to look too far back in time to observe his psyche slipping from him after each battle. Today however, his spirit seems high. The quiet of the forest and foreboding conflict is oddly harmonious for him.

“Vengador I hope you are prepared for the fight of your life because I can promise you that I’m going to bring the violence to you the moment that bell rings. Your size will mean little to me when my shins obliterate your legs and you can no longer hold yourself up. I am going to hit you harder and faster than you have ever been struck before and none of that monstrous strength of yours will be enough to sustain that kind of force.”

He’s not exaggerating here, Shinzo’s precision and force when striking with his legs is rarely matched and even more rarely survivable for a sustainable period of time. Many large men have fallen victim to the Catastrophe kick and Vengador would not be immune, either.

“I’ve taken on my fair share of monsters already on my road to become and defend this championship and this fight won’t be any different. And make no mistake about it, this is going to be a fight. I’ve survived the onslaught of the one they called Pariah. I’ve conquered the demon named The Dharawal Warrior and at World’s Unite I will extinguish the one who calls himself Vengence.”

Shinzo looks to the sky for a moment in a sort of trance, takes a long exaggerated deep breath and once again grins maliciously, clearly feeling the thrill of the upcoming battle and rejoicing in his blood pumping through his veins.

“I hope you find some solace in the fact that the beating I am going to put on your body is not personal. It’s just an inevitability of this business and of getting in the ring with Shinzo Omega. I am The End, and the end comes for us all. “

Shinzo doesn’t smile this time, his eyes are narrowed and focused with an almost visible fire inside them. He slowly reaches back and pulls his hood back over his visage covering it fully. He puts his hood down and slowly walks up the path towards the old shrine on top of the wooded hill. There he will finish his meditation and incantations to the forest spirits and purify his aura so he may take on this potentially foul Oni(demon) of a creature.

The End, Shinzo Omega​

 

[Dubb]

Stranger in a Strange Land

Location: Tokyo, Japan
World: Earth

Vengador stood on the bustling streets of Tokyo, his towering figure hidden beneath his dark cloak and signature purple skull mask. The city's neon lights and towering skyscrapers loomed overhead, casting an otherworldly glow upon the surroundings. Though he was no stranger to unfamiliar environments, having traversed countless dimensions in search of his brother's killer, Tokyo's unique blend of modernity and tradition left him in awe.

The city's vibrant energy surged through him as he navigated through the crowded streets. He couldn't help but be captivated by the intricate harmony between the old and the new, something he hadn't encountered in quite the same way before. Tokyo's streets were like a crossroads of worlds, where centuries-old traditions coexisted with cutting-edge technology.

He has come to the city with a purpose. Much like every land he has travelled to… but this time, his purpose was a bit different. With a newfound sense of respect for his former Ground Zero Mentor, Katsu, he agreed to travel to her homeland and compete. Mainly out of respect for her and the debt he felt like he owed to her after his treatment of her leading up to Back in Business. But also partly for the chance to continue to earn respect himself amidst the wrestling world. And to show that perhaps he had learned from some of his own past mistakes.

As he strolled through a traditional Japanese garden nestled among the skyscrapers, he found himself drawn to a display of ancient samurai armor and weapons. His gloved fingers traced the contours of a beautifully crafted katana, its blade reflecting the soft glow of lanterns.

Memories of another world flicked in his mind. A place quite similar to this city. Yet uniquely different.

The people in that world referred to their land as Turojin. It was a world where honor and combat were paramount. Not unlike that of the samurai code that Vengador was learning about. Much like the samurai code, it had endured for centuries.

He recalled his battles in Turojin. Not unlike his upcoming match at World’s Collide… Vengador had found himself up against an unfamiliar challenger. A champion from another realm, much like that of Shinzo Omega.

He certainly hoped that the outcome this time..

Would be different.

***

Location: The Battlegrounds
World: Turojin

Within the heart of Turojin, Vengador walked through the corridors of a colossal coliseum. The masked man stood in astonishment at the architectural expertise and was impressed to have stumbled upon a land where combat was held in such high regard. As a man who holds himself to a high regard, he appreciated such values.

His search for his brother's killer had lead him here. But that person... would not fit in here. That person certainly had no honor.

But yet, his journey had brought him here. Searching for answers.

The vagrant set his eyes upon the battlefield. Rows upon rows of spectators filled the stands, their voices echoing through the air, creating an electric atmosphere charged with anticipation.

As he watched, Vengador's eyes were fixated on a fierce sword fight between two formidable warriors. The sound of their blades clashing into one another was music to his ears. He was amazed by just how precise and calculated each strike was.

Much like Vengador himself, the crowd truly appreciated the battle, standing and applauding their efforts.

It was in the midst of this mesmerizing spectacle that Vengador's heart skipped a beat. He realized something.

Could it be?

It certainly wouldn't make much sense.

But sure enough, he recognized one of those combatants. The warrior's masked presence was unmistakable.

The Moonlight Bandit.

"It can't be," he tried to deny it but sure enough, the fellow rogue he had met in the Dunes of Shraa was now also here in Turojin.

Vengador waited for the fight to reach it's conclusion. He watched on as the Bandit came up victorious as the other warrior yielded to her blade. He then approached her after the battle.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Vengador said, approaching his familiar friend/foe.

"You're not the only world traveler out there, you know," she spoke with a playful yet enigmatic tone, her eyes gleaming with a hidden knowledge. "I, however, am not afraid to find you here."

"And why is that?"

"You're a man seeking answers. Well, I seek answers of my own. We have that in common, I suppose. I figured our paths would cross again. And a place like Turojin can open doors you wouldn't imagine."

"What do you mean?"

"Most of the world's you've traveled in... have different types of... uh, what would you say... currency, I suppose? In Shraa is pelts... in some places its different metals... well, here... currency is battle. But the ony thing about each of these worlds that remains the same. With the right amount of currency, you can find your answers."

"So what? If I want answers, I just need to challenge someone to a fight? This is my kind of place."

"Not just anyone. I know you seek your brother's assailant... and I suspect you already know they aren't here. They would no doubt stick out like a sore thumb here... not unlike you, I'm afraid."

"What? I'm a man of honor."

"Really?" The Bandit said slyly, silently referencing when Vengador thought he was going to outsmart her out of her share of pelts in Shraa.

"Hey," Vengador argued, "that was a learning moment."

"Yeah, for you!" She chuckled, this time referencing the fact that she ultimately came out on top in that situation. "But... here if it's answers you seek... it's their champion you'll want."

"And just who may that be?"

"Much like you and I... no one in these battles utilizes their actual names... in battle... he simply goes by... The Alpha. He is the epitome of strength and prowess in Turojin. He is a warrior like you’ve never encountered before. He wields a blade that has never known defeat. Many have challenged him… and none have been successful.”

“Well, he hasn’t been challenged by me yet.”

“Don’t let your hubris be your downfall, my friend.”

“I have nothing to worry about. I’ve battled the likes of Alpha plenty of times before… in fact, I’ve battled beasts and monsters bigger, stronger, and scarier than he is.”

“Do not underestimate the Champion of Turojin. That would be a mistake.”

“Don’t worry, kid. I don’t underestimate anyone…”

“You underestimated me.”

“Hmm… perhaps. But it won’t happen again. I’m fully prepared to give The Alpha all he can handle. Tomorrow… I will answer his challenge.”

“Good luck,” The Bandit nodded, knowing full well he was going to need it .

****

One of the suns dawned over the vast coliseum of Turojin, marking a new day of challenges and battles in the arena. The stands were once again packed with spectators, eager to see if anyone would be bold enough to stand up and challenge The Alpha.

The Alpha, a towering figure in imposing armor with a mask adorned with a snarling wolf, stood at the center of the arena. He raised his mighty sword high and called out to the crowd in a commanding voice, "Is there anyone among you today who dares to challenge The Alpha? Step forward if you possess the courage and skill!"

The challenge hung in the air like an unspoken dare, and the spectators held their breath, waiting to see if anyone would answer.

Vengador, his purple skull mask concealing his features, stepped out from the shadows of the corridors into the open arena. "I do."

"What's that? Do I hear someone?"

"I challenge you!" Vengador repeated.

"Hmm," The Alpha gazed across the dirt and sand covered battleground, eyeing his would be challenger. "And who might you be?"

"I go by Vengador."

"Vengador? I'm afraid I have never heard of you. Have you fought in this arena before?"

"I have not."

The Alpha laughed. "Then what makes you think you can challenge me on this day? I look at you and can tell you are a stranger here. An outsider. You may want to rethink this decision."

Vengador nodded. "You are right about one thing. I am not from here. But I'm here for a reason. I am seeking answers."

The Alpha's expression remained inscrutable as he acknowledged the uniqueness of Vengador's situation. "I see. You are not the first to come to Turojin with similar motives. However, answers are not given freely here. They must be earned."

"That's why I am here," Vengador said as he drew his katana.

With that, the battle began, the two warriors circling each other in a dance of anticipation. The crowd became eerily quiet as they waited with bated breath.

Fueled by his desire, Vengador went on the offensive first. Charging at the stoic Alpha with his blade held high. His strike was easily blocked by the champion. He continued as the aggressor in their exchange, but Alpha seemed completely unphased by his strike attempts. While Vengador's attacks were aggressive and powerful... they were also sloppy and careless. Alpha's demeanor was calm and controlled, easily fending off the attacks from the man in the purple skull.

Despite his best efforts. Despite all his inner rage and determination for his quest… Vengador was no match for The Alpha. He truly was a master of combat beyond compare. And with a swift movement of his sword that seemed like poetry in motion, The Alpha brought the battle to an emphatic end.

The blade had found its mark, striking across his shoulder. The pain radiated down his arm and he was forced to drop his own katana to the ground.

Vengador hit the ground with his knee, finding the point of Alpha’s blade staring him right between the eyes.

“Do you yield?” The Alpha proudly questioned.

Now unarmed and wounded, Vengador knew that he had been beaten. “I yield,” he confirmed.

“AH HA!” The Alpha shouted out with his arms lifted high, the crowd cheering.

Vengador sulked in defeat but The Alpha reached down, offering his arm to his opponent. Vengador accepted the hand as The Alpha pulled him back up. “You have a lot of heart, I can see that. There’s such power and intent behind your attacks. I can feel your anger that you have inside of you. But it makes you careless. Wreckless. You charge head on into battle with no game plan. No strategy. And that is why you lost today. And I’m afraid it’ll happen again if you are not careful.”

Vengador, panting beneath his mask, managed a nod of appreciation. He knew that the words that The Alpha had said were not wrong. "I may have lost... today... but I am not giving up. I will find answers... I will get my vengeance."

"I hope you do find the answers you seek, traveler. But your path to answers lies elsewhere. I wish you well."

Vengador clenched his fist as he picked up his katana and slid it into its sheath. He vowed to learn from his mistakes. He vowed to not let this happen again.

****

Location: Tokyo, Japan
World: Earth

Vengador continued to gaze into the cased katana before him.

He has traveled a long way. His journey has brought him here.

To Tokyo.

To Worlds Collide.

A fitting name for a man who has had collisions on many different worlds.

Once again, he finds himself in a strange land. Facing a champion from another world.

This time he would not go down in defeat. ​

 

[Rosie]

With Lights Out taking longer than expected, I'm open to giving matches which have yet to have a promo posted up to Saturday to post. Same time time PST, then the rest you convert which I may do. If you are cool with that, send me a message on Discord or here. If someone has posted a promo, then you can get that extension with your opponent giving the go ahead.

Any matches unclaimed I'll either do them, or someone else can take them if you are willing to.

If there comes a situation where there is someone unable to vote, I'll potentially ask for someone to replace them in that match.

-Rosie

 

[Tommy Bedlam]

Author’s Note: The views/words of Major Mayhem/The Troops do not reflect the views/words of the author/ME! He’s a spoof. A parody. A buffoon. Hope you enjoy.

​

“Fuck! Those rat bastards have struck again! We should’ve known it would happen. They’ve just been waiting for us to let our guards down. They slithered in like the snakes they are. It started with dumpling shops and nail salons. Next thing you know, we’ve got those hibachi restaurants popping up on every street corner. Don’t worry, America. Major Mayhem is on it. The Troops are on the way!”

“HAROOOOOLD! YA LITTLE FRIENDS ARE HERE FOR A PLAYDATE!”

“JESUS, MA! IT’S NOT A PLAYDATE! WE HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING. SEND THEM ON DOWN!”

She never understands. She never would. Major Mayhem’s mother, also known as Mother Mayhem by The Troops” refuses to accept the fact that her son is handling matters of national security in the basement, which he referred to as The Situation Room. She calls it his bedroom, but again, she just can't deal with the fact that her little boy is growing up. It's a coping mechanism.

Harold, or as “The Troops” called him, “Major Mayhem” goes to the top of the basement steps and waits on one of his closest friends to slide a credit card down the small gap in the door. Once they had done that, he knew that they were who he thought they were.

“Security: Verified. Access: Permitted.”

The Major opens the flimsy basement door and leads Private Paulie, The Admiral, and Monica, who serves as The Secretary of Defense, down the steps and to a bulletin board that hung crookedly on the wall. A small low-definition television the kind that has a VCR built into it, plays the 2001 action-thriller “Pearl Harbor.” Major Mayhem grabs the remote, rewinds for a few seconds, and presses play.

“I’ve managed to get some security footage of the attack. Brace yourselves. It’s tough to watch.”

​

It’s Private Paulie who speaks up first.

“Uh, Major? You know that’s a movie right? That’s not security footage.”

“Don’t you question me, maggot! We have been attacked. Good men have lost their lives! Cuba Gooding Jr. is dead! Drop and give me 50 for your insubordination!”

Private Paulie’s eyes bug out of his head as Major Mayhem sprays a stream of saliva across the room, some of it landing on top of his head. He slowly drops to the ground, knowing full well that he is never going to do 50 pushups. He also knows that Major Mayhem will either forget about the edict or lose count somewhere around number 20. He was right.

“Now! Secretary Monica, were you able to provide me with the photo evidence that I requested?”

“Is that what this was about? I wondered why you had me printing off pictures of…”

“Don’t say names out loud, Secretary Monica. I’ve taken extreme measures to ensure the security of this space, but those sneaky bastards have ways of getting ears in places where they should not have ears. Just give me the photos. I need everyone to know who we’re looking for.”

Monica opens the manilla folder that the nice lady at Kinko’s had provided her when she printed off the pictures that The Major had requested. One by one, he tacks them to the bulletin board, careful to keep them in the right order.

He slowly takes a step back from the board and looked down at Private Paulie who was struggling mightily to get from pushup number 14 to number 15.

“At ease, Private.”

“Major, if I may, what are you getting at here?”

“This man is responsible for the attack that I just showed you the video of. He was responsible for the last one, too. I believe, if left to his own devices, he will come for us again. How many more Cuba Gooding Jrs. can we afford to lose?!"

“This man?” There are three different men on the board. The Troops stand there, looking somewhat confused by what Major Mayhem was going on about. Well, everyone except for The Admiral, who stroked his unkempt goatee and slowly nodded.

“Go ahead….”

“I believe he’s changed his name multiple times over the years. Admiral Isoruku Yamamoto. He was the admiral responsible for the first strike against Pearl Harbor.”

He points to the picture on the left side of the board.

“Somewhere in the early 2000s, he started going by Mako Iwamastu. He was the man responsible for the attack that I just showed you the footage of. But I have reason to believe that he’s gone deep into hiding. How deep you ask?”

Major Mayhem doesn’t say anything. He stands there for a moment, and finally nods toward The Troops, begging for a response.

“Ask how deep, guys. God. Do you even know how to pick up on cues?!”

“Sorry, Major. How deep?”

“I believe he’s hiding himself as a professional wrestler. Today, he goes by Rio Kobayashi. This one individual. This one man, has now orchestrated two attacks on our great nation. He got away in 1944….

“It was 1941…”

“That’s what I said, dammit! 1941. He got away from us in 1941, then, in 2001, he killed Cuba Gooding Jr. And finally, after 22 long years of looking, I’ve found the wiery bastard. Even more importantly, I’ve tricked him into fighting me, one-on-one. At least, he thinks it’ll be one-on-one. That’s where you come in.”

“Major, I’m not a wrestler, anymore. I’ve been making way better money by making content online. Do you know how much guys will pay to see a shot of my….”

“Secretary Monica! This is no time for you to talk about your premium content. Your country needs you. Also, I accidentally charged my debit card twice the other day. Can you get that taken care of?”

“Sir! Yes, sir!”

“Thank you, Admiral. Yes, it’s important that we come together…for this mission, Monica. I’ve already made travel arrangements. We will lift off at 0600 hours.”

“Holy shit, Major. We’re finally doing this? Really lifting off? Going on a mission?”

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely, Private Paulie. 0600 sharp. That’s 8:30 AM for those of you who struggle with military time.”

“It most definitely is not, but OK…”

“Well, fine. We leave at 8:30 AM. I’m just waiting on one final piece of clearance.”

“A fighter jet? What have you got lined up for this? A B-52 Bomber? An Apache Helicopter?”

“No, Admiral. Unfortunately, we’re gonna have to fly commercial. The Federal Government still hasn’t given me the authorization that I need to take a plane off their property. Technically, they won’t let me on their property, but we’re getting there. This mission can’t wait, though.”

“That’s cool too, Major! I’ve never been on a plane. Are we flying SpaceX? Virgin? JetBlue?”

“Goddamit, Private Paulie. Drop and give me 20. There’s only one way that we’re getting there….”

Major Mayhem puts his hand over his heart and looks at the flag that hangs on the wall above the futon he sleeps on.

“We’re flying American.”

Just as Major Mayhem is about to lead The Troops in the Pledge of Allegiance, hyping them up for the mission before them, he’s interrupted by Mother Mayhem.

“HAAAROLD! I GOT THE TICKETS ORDERED FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS TO GO TO YOUR LITTLE WRESTLING THING IN JAPAN! YOU OWE ME $2,948!”

“I’LL GET YOU PAID, MA! AND IT’S NOT A LITTLE WRESTLING THING! IT’S WAR!"

 

[Jimmy King]

Redemption


We open the scene inside a local karate dojo in Reseda, California. You'd think the building was empty from the outside looking in, but two men are inside. These two men are Kung-Fu Karl and Jimmy Boom Boom, better known as Kung-Fu Boom to fans worldwide.

The duo is hard at work training; well, Karl is more focused on training, while Jimmy is too concerned with other matters. Karl and Jimmy haven't had many things go their way recently. They've had run-ins with a Trash Mammal and a Halloween Knight, resulting in them being tossed inside a dumpster on live PPV. They also fell out with their former mentors, Jackson Fenix and Nate Savage of The Undisputed Alliance. They've become a laughing stock, but that will all change soon.

"I can't believe those guys!" Jimmy exclaimed.

Karl stops his training, which was practicing his sweet kicks on a training dummy.

"You can't believe who?"

"Mr. Fenix and Mr. Savage! After all, we did for them. All those times we carried their bags weren't good enough for them, so we tried to defend their honor, but THAT wasn't good enough, and then they replaced us with a shark!"

"I don't believe he's an actual shark."

"That's not the point, Karl! He replaced us; now we're seen as nothing but a joke! 'Oh look, it's the two guys that got thrown in a dumpster by Trash Mammal and Halloween Knight!'"

Jimmy kicks the air in frustration, then rips off his cape that goes with his stuntman suit. He angrily tosses it on the floor and starts to pace back and forth.

"Jimmy, I understand you're upset; I am too, but you must let it go. Forget about that and move on."

"He's right."

Another man joins them in the dojo, Sensei John Mills. Sensei Mills is wearing his usual attire of a black and yellow gi, black headband, and black gloves.

"Sensei Mills!"

Karl immediately bows to his sensei.

"You have to let that shit go, kid. You and Karl have another match to focus on now."

"Sensei Mills is correct, Jimmy. We must focus on our upcoming match in Nine Tails Entertainment."

Jimmy looks at Sensei Mills and then at Karl. He nods in agreement.

"You're right; we should focus on that."

"Of course I'm right; that's why I'm the sensei, and you two are my students."

"Yes, sensei."

"You need to forget about that weasel and skeleton guy-"

"I think he was a possum, not a weasel."

"It doesn't matter! You need to forget about him and worry about what faces you at Worlds Unite in Tokyo, Japan!"

Sensei Mills motions for something, and another student wheels in an old TV. It's like one of those TVs you'd get excited to see when you were in school because it was movie day. Sensei Mills is a bit behind on technology, so please forgive him. Sensei turns the TV on, and a music video plays with their opponents at Worlds Unite, The Ozmanclaimed.

"Are these guys our opponents?"

"Yes, Jimmy. The Ozmanclaimed. Max Pollux and Anthony Bsteen"

"Don't forget about Faster Posterior, Karl."

"My apologies, sensei."

"I don't blame you for forgetting, though. I wish I could forget these three idiots existed, but unfortunately, they do."

"This is horrible! This is what passes for music these days?!"

"This is why you must focus, kid. These guys are a nuisance and must be stopped."

The music video mercifully comes to an end. Sensei Mills retrieves pictures of Bsteen and Pollux from inside his gi and tapes them on the faces of two training dummies.

"I want you to imagine that these training dummies are those two dummies and put all the force you can behind your kicks or whatever you can throw at them."

"Yes, sensei!"

A brief training montage airs that is accompanied by the familiar track, "You're The Best" by Joe Esposito. The montage shows Karl and Jimmy beating the hell out of the two training dummies and practicing moves on each other. The montage ends with Sensei Mills looking pleased with his students.

"I think you two are ready to take down those fools."

"Thank you, Sensei, but we wouldn't be here without your training."

"Karl is right; he's so wise and learned his wisdom and sage advice from a great sensei like you, Sensei Mills."

"Thank you, Jimmy, you're a great partner."

"Thank you, Karl; you were right about me needing to let go. Now we get a chance at redemption and show everyone we're not a bunch of jokes!"

Karl and Jimmy share a high-five, followed by a brief hug.

"Okay, okay, enough of that mushy crap."

Sensei Mills is not the sensitive type. Karl and Jimmy bow to him in understanding. Jimmy then picks up his cape from the floor and puts it back on.

"Let's go kick some ass!"​

 

[SupineSnake]

anzu kurosawa in
WHY AM I NOT ON THIS POSTER? I WOULD FEEL DISRESPECTED IF I’D TRIED HARDER ON THIS PROMO.

“No, I think you’re going to love it,” Yasujirō said, as he led the way down a cramped and busy alley and towards the Nippon Budokan. KC, her pet tiger, trailed behind, growling at a fishmonger who shooed him away. “It’s been a while, Anzu. They don’t make posters for the King of the Deathmatch, and you haven’t really wrestled in anything else for two years. Aren’t you excited?”

“Take it or leave it,” she said, with a shrug. Yasujirō’s exuberance could no doubt be attributed to his youth, which was wasted on him. “Besides, the picture you sent in is ten years old. I doubt I’ll even recognise me.”

“Jaded, Anzu,” her agent replied, with a sigh and a shake of his head. “Cynical and bored. You’re wasting away behind that commentary desk. Gathering dust. It’ll be good to shake some of it loose.”

“Worry about your own dust,” she advised, as they bustled through the pedestrian traffic, almost all of which seemed to be coming straight at them. “Leave my dust to me.”

“Well, prepare yourself,” he said, turning to face her with a smile whilst walking backwards. They were crossing a footbridge over the metro line, the stadium coming into view at the end of it. “Say goodbye to your dust.”

The stadium and the poster were now in full view, but only for Anzu. Yasujirō still had his back turned to it, his arms outstretched either side of him as if presenting her with a gift. The gigantic advertisement for Nine Tales Entertainment: Worlds Unite was already plastered on the side of the Budokan, days out from the show. Anzu slowly regarded the many, many, many faces that stared back at her. One by one she considered them with an unchanging expression.

“Have you seen the poster before?” she asked, finally.

“I wanted it to be a surprise for both of us,” Yasujirō answered. Finally, he turned around, and surprised he was. He seemed more incredulous than Anzu, who remained passive in the face of this disrespect. “What the –”

“It’s probably the picture you sent in,” she suggested, whilst fishing in her pocket for the dip that her friend T-Bedz had gifted her last month at Meltdown. T-Bedz always had good dip. She placed it between her lip and her gum and then stuffed her hands back into her pockets. It was getting cold. Autumn was here.

“Why would they ask for a picture if –” he began, before once more trailing off. It appeared that his exasperation was running short and maturing into indignance. “What the fuck is this?! There’s, like, a hundred people on there and you’re not one of them! Who are all of these people?! Is that MOIST in the bottom right corner?!”

“It looks like MOIST,” she agreed. “Everything is MOIST.”

“And look how big those FTN motherfuckers are! A pair of gaijin?! Like they’ll sell tickets here. But I shouldn’t be surprised. They’ll get everywhere. They’re like flies around shit.”

“It really doesn’t mean anything,” she reasoned.

“They have Katsu on their twice!” Yasujirō went on, unrelentingly. “Look at the size of her! And don’t they know that you trained Yuna? Yet she’s larger than you on the poster by a scale factor of, well, of infinity, I guess, seeing as you aren’t even on it...”

“That would be true even if she were tiny,” Anzu said, wagging her finger admonishingly. She abhorred the misuse of mathematics. “And a teacher should be proud of her students. Not envious.”

“You’ll make them pay for this, Anzu,” Yasujirō insisted, whilst beginning at a striding pace in the opposite direction of the stadium. He’d seen enough, it seemed. Anzu skipped behind him. KC padded along in front of both of them, clearing a path through the people. “Kill them all.”

“That was the plan, anyway,” she replied. “Well, two of them., to begin with. Sawyer, I know. Living in a van isn't so bad. I often miss those days. I know less about the other guy. The bland Nephew-type. Two of them will be a good start.”

“It might not be enough,” Yasujirō said. He was walking so fast that he was almost stepping on the tiger’s tail. KC growled in warning before picking up his own pace. Anzu spat her dip out. It was never enough.​

 

[Rawr]

The void is expansive, forever extending further than the eye can see and the mind can comprehend. It’s a white void, blinding if one stares out into the abyss for too long. Footsteps echo through the void, any sound does, though there doesn’t appear to be any surface for sound to bounce off. The source of the footsteps belong to a pair of friends, best friends, two men who would die for one another.
​

Alyster Black & Chris Peacock.​

They are FTN. And they are…
​

IN THE VOID​

'My God this is drab.' Alyster remarked as he stepped further out into the void, a few paces in front of his partner. He listened to the sound of his voice repeat his exact words and shook from the sensation. 'This is very weird.'

'Aye,' Chris agreed; 'Weird as.'

'Weird as what?'

'Huh?'

'You said “Weird as.” Weird as what?'

‘It’s an expression. Like if you thought something was cool, you’d say “that’s cool as!” Get it?’

‘Oh.’ Alyster muttered as he looked up and then down, white nothingness surrounded him in all directions but somehow there was a floor. ‘It’s very weird in here.’

‘Yes, I believe we’ve firmly established how weird it is here. We’ve got a limited number of words so let’s not get too worked up about the overall level of weirdness here.’

‘A limited number of words you say,’ Alyster rubbed his chin, carefully contemplating what to say next, blissfully unaware that such an action was a waste of precious words too; ‘Then we’d best be deliberate with what we say.’

‘And just what exactly do we have to say right now?’ Chris asked. His feet had grown weary from wandering aimlessly through the void, so he found a nice spot to stop and carefully lowered himself to what one would naturally consider the floor, sitting with his left leg sprawled out and his right knee raised and pressed against his chest.

‘I’m not quite sure.’ Alyster answered. ‘What is our current state of affairs?’

Chris remained silent for a moment, he closed his eyes and carefully pondered his partner’s question. The answer should seem obvious to him but he struggled to come up with a valid answer.

‘I don’t know.’ Was all the disco dancer could manage to say.

‘Well which one of us is the FWA World Champion?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Are we still the FWA World Tag-Team Champions?’

‘I can’t answer that either.’

‘What the hell is this place?’

‘It’s a void.’ The word “void” echoed throughout the neverending continuously white landscape. Repeating over and over again until it was ingrained in FTN’s conscious mind and was all they could think about.

‘I’m not a fan.’ Alyster grumbled whilst finding a similar spot next to his partner to sit down.

Neither am I.’ Chris agreed with Alyster wholeheartedly as he often did on most topics.

‘We have no clue as to how we ended up in this place.’

‘That’s correct.’

‘Yet we are acutely aware that circumstances beyond our comprehension limit the amount of words we’re able to exchange with one another.’

‘That’s also correct.’

‘We are also oblivious to our current situation in the world outside of this void.’

‘And to top it off we’ve no idea how to exit this place.’

‘The situation is looking rather glum buddy.’

‘You’re telling me.’

‘Do we know anything else at all?’

Chris reached for his moustache and stroked it gently, hoping for inspiration to come to him. It did and he lit up brightly with a satisfactory response to Alyster’s question. ‘Yes! We do know something else!’

Alyster scrambled onto his knees and shuffled toward his partner. He grabbed Chris by the lapel and, brimming with excitement, urged him to continue. ‘We do? That’s wonderful, what is it? What else do we know?’

‘We’re to fight an old tag team from a long forgotten era in a land far from home.’

‘Yes!’ Alyster beamed, smiling from ear to ear. ‘That’s right, we’re going to fight the Dirty Fucking Bastards!’ He could hardly contain his excitement and inadvertently shook his partner quite violently. ‘And we’re going to fight them in Japan! Japan Chris! Japan!’

Chris was quite annoyed by his partner’s antics and quickly brushed his hands from his expensive blazer. ‘Yes we are. I know that, you don’t have to harp on about it.’

‘I believe I do have to harp on about it though. I think that may be why we’re here in the void, to harp on about our match with the Dirty Fucking Bastards in Japan.’

‘That can’t be right. That sounds like, frankly, a very stupid reason for us to find ourselves trapped in this void.’

‘It’s not stupider than any other scenario we’ve been in.’

‘Of course it is.’

‘Nuh-uh.’

‘Name something stupider than this then!’

‘I can name a dozen things stupider than this.’ Alyster held out his hand, pointing to his index finger; ‘How about that time we killed Santa, all in the name of winning a match against ****** ****?’

‘No one even heard of that. It was never released, remember?’

‘It’s stupider than this.’ Alyster then extends his middle finger, pointing at that; ‘Or how about the time we went to high school so that we could beat those Coven chicks?’

‘It wasn’t stupid, it was necessary. Besides, Carrie-ing Trixie was an absolute blast.’

‘Yeah but it was stupid, and everyone expected us to use bodily fluids, not blood.’

‘We couldn’t use it and you know why.’

‘My point still stands, that entire thing was stupid. At least as stupid as whatever this is supposed to be.’

Chris furrowed his brow and his voice turned sour. ‘You’re starting to sound a lot like Uncle right now.’

‘Maybe Uncle made some good points.’

‘How dare you.’ Chris’ tone was venomous, enough to shake Alyster to his core.

‘Sorry…’ the masked man muttered. ‘I didn’t really mean that.’

‘Whatever, maybe you do have a point. Maybe we should discuss the Dirty Fucking Bastards. What do we know about them?’

Both men sat in silence for a good long while before Alyster’s voice finally broke said silence and echoed through the void.

‘We don’t know shit.’

‘Yeah, they’re before my time.’

‘And they’re also before my time, but also maybe after my time. My time is a little confusing.’

‘Yeah, your whole deal is weird. You’re like a vet but also kinda new.’

‘I don’t think I’m new anymore, hell I don’t think you’re new anymore. I think we’re both vets now.’

‘Shit.’ Chris turned his head to the side and spit onto the blindingly white void floor. His spit immediately disappeared into the voice and he wondered briefly why he and Alyster didn’t also. ‘You’re right, we’re both old.’

‘We’re TV old, the worst kind of old you can be.’

Again the two shared a melancholic silence. A comfortable silence which they often shared. It’s only when you truly become the best of friends that you can share a comfortable silence with someone. Where their presence alone is enough and you don’t feel the need to fill every moment with mindless drivel.

Enough time passed that both Alyster and Chris’ minds began to wander from the task at hand. Gone were thoughts of Cody Mundz and Bobby “Smooth”. Instead their focus became unravelled and thoughts both productive and intrusive permeated.

It was Chris who would first express his mind, asking what he deemed a rather important question based on observation.

‘Hey, why do you think this void is completely white? Like, what does it represent?’ He mused as he slowly lowered himself down flat on his back.

‘Let’s not…’ Alyster grumbled, already acutely aware as to what Chris was hinting toward.

His moustachioed companion played coy; ‘Not what?’

‘Come on’ Alyster practically begged Chris not to be too obvious. ‘You know.’

A large, toothy and stupid looking grin crept across Chris’ rather handsome face. ‘Alright, I’ll cum on.’

Alyster buried his face in his hands and grumbled again. ‘God damn it.’

Silence permeated through the void once more. Though the sounds of Alyster muttering “damn it” echoed quietly for quite a while.

It was hard to keep track of time in the void. By Alyster’s estimation they had been trapped for hours. Chris estimated that it had felt more like a day. Without any way of measuring neither man could be sure. They had no shadows cast, nor any sun to track. Neither man wore a watch, and their phones had mysteriously not made the trip with them into the void.

‘What else have we done?’ Chris queried from down on the floor.

Alyster looked to his partner and could not spot him for a worrying amount of time. Chris had not moved since Alyster last turned his head toward him, but the void appeared to be swallowing him.

‘Hey bud, you’re kind of sinking there.’

‘Am I? Ah well.’

‘Would you mind sitting up.’

‘Actually I’m quite comfortable. I don’t think I’ll be sitting up. Can you answer my question?’

Alyster furrowed his brow but thought it best not to argue with his partner, he decided to humour him instead. ‘Sure, what do you mean by “what else” then?’

‘You know, we killed Santa for the Warehouse, we did high school for the Coven. What else have we done?’

‘Not much actually. We celebrated your World Championship victory at your brother’s restaurant before entering that tag-team scramble. We did a part of your video game for the Connection. Attended a party hosted by Tommy Bedlam and may have killed a waiter. I taught you how to fall off a twenty foot ladder before Back in Business. Then you hosted a dinner party at Manton Manor. I believe that covers it all.’

Chris smiled just as his head began to disappear into the void. He’s blinded by the vast whiteness as his eyes are engulfed, but his smile still remains. ‘We had a good run. It was fun.’

‘I’ll say. It’s some of the most fun I’ve ever had doing this.’

‘Absolutely, I’m quite sad that it has to end.’

‘It doesn't have to end.’

‘Maybe just for now. Do you think you can handle things by yourself?’

There was concern in Alyster’s voice ‘What are you talking abo-’ He turned his head just in time to watch Chris completely disappear.

He scrambled, crawling to where his partner had just vanished and frantically began digging into the nothingness.

‘Chris!’ He cried out desperately, ‘Chris come back!’

But his words did not reach his partner. They echoed through the void and taunted Alyster as he continued clawing until he could not anymore.

The lonesome silence was uncomfortable. Alyster found himself lying down flat inside the void, staring up into the void, and wishing that he too could be whisked away into nothingness like his best friend had.

‘No.’ He mumbled to himself. ‘I don’t think I can handle things by myself.’

Slowly Alyster began to sink into the void. He closed his eyes and thought of the coming trials ahead. A match in Japan, in a legendary building he’d sought to fight in ever since he was fifteen years old.

Only two years previously had he achieved his dream of performing at the Tokyo Dome, and he was able to do so besides his best friend. Not only that but he and Krash were able to win the FWA World Tag-Team Championship.

There was no championship on the line at the Nippon Budokan, but Alyster still desperately wanted to bring Chris there with him and show him just what wrestling meant to him.

‘Man, that’s a bummer.’ A familiar voice echoed. ‘Do you need a hand bud?’

Without waiting for his reply a familiar hand reached out and pulled him free from the void.

Together they would go to the Nippon Budokan, making their return to Japan for the first time in two years.

They’d see the return of…
​

Spoiler

The Gang Stars

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[Jazz Wolf]

We open in darkness.

Nothin' but darkness. No-one would blame you for thinking your screen turned off. However... There's a voice in the darkness.

"Anata wa... Kaitekidesu ka?"

There's a throaty, echoing laughter, from somewhere offscreen.

"Sore wa nagatsudzuki shimasen."

A lightbulb flickers on, and a bulky asian man steps into view. He has multicolored hair, the kind that looks stained rather than dyed, and is wearing a long, crumpled brown cloak. His body glistens in the light, for some reason. He grips the lightbulb in his bare hands, as a single droplet of... some kind of colorless liquid drips down his wrist, before he pauses, frowning suddenly.

"Jimaku..." He notes, before turning to face somewhere off screen. "JIMAKU! SUBTITLES!" He shouts, as some poor underpaid intern suddenly scrambles to fufill the request and perhaps the one English phase this man knows. There's a vague sound of confirmation from offscreen by the unpaid intern, as the man scoffs.

"Jimaku...?" The man tests.

MOIST: "Subtitles?"

The man, now identified as MOIST by the subtitle software, laughs in victory. "Ahaa! Haaaa..." His laughter eventually fades into a breathy gurgle, as he sneers at the screen.

"Watashi wa nettai bōfūu de, kasa wa anata o mamoru koto wa dekimasen." Moist begins, slapping a palm against his chest. Several droplets fly from the impact. "Fan ga nanijin ite mo ase ga tomaranai hodo shitsudo ga takai. Watashi wa ginkō no kotei denwa-gakaridesu."

MOIST: "Hello."

MOIST holds up a thumb, jabbing it at himself. "Watashi wa... MOIST."

MOIST: "I am moist."

"Soshite anata... SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER!" MOIST screams, sending spittle all over the place. "Anata wa korekara fukaina sekai ni ashi o fumiireyou to shite imasu."

MOIST: "My opponent, SUPER MASSIVE DESTROYER, is an honorable man, who brings happiness to children everywhere."

MOIST sneers, hooks up a loogie, and spits on the floor. "Anata ga watashi no ikari ni chokumen shita toki, anata no rēzā ya anime, soshite shishunki mae no yo dare o tarashite iru fan no kodomo-tachi no gundan wa anata o tasukeru koto wa dekimasen!"

MOIST: "I thoroughly enjoy his TV Show, and hope to make a cameo appearance during the next season. I feel I would make for a great reoccurring antagonist."

"Tokushu kōka, gurīnbakku, hakkyū no koyaku o toriagete, anata wa nanidesu ka?" MOIST scoffs derisively. "Minikui aoi sūtsu o kita ijōna ōki-sa no otoko."

MOIST: "But alas, your hypervisual world of serial explosions will not assist you when you step into the ring with me."

"Anata no rēzā wa watashi no shimetta shīrudo o kantsū dekimasen."

MOIST: "For my defense is one you cannot adequately prepare for. My moist shield blocks your energy laser."

"Anata no bakuzento nenrei o kanji sasenai nakama kyarakutā ni yoru 100 no katagurushī shitta gekireide sae, watashi no chikara no uneri ni taikō suru koto wa dekimasen."

MOIST: "The words of encouragement from your sidekicks are no match for my own words of power."

"Watashi no mairudona eikō kara anata o sukuu tame ni, kimyōna basho de kimyō ni shōsai ni egaka reta tīn'eijā ni yoru episōdo no tochū no henshin shīkensu wa arimasen."

MOIST: "And although your mid-episode transformation sequences are nice to look at, this fight does not take place in your fictional world, as thus, you will not be able to gain a second wind after I have beaten you, thus enabling you to defeat me in the third act."

MOIST laughs, again. For quite a long time. We don't really need subtitles for this o-

MOIST: [GOOD-NATURED LAUGHTER.]

Oh alright then.

"Īe, tayoreru no wa jibun jishin dakedesu." MOIST continues, gesturing wildly. "Anata wa hiyowa de ugokenai orokamono de, mojiretsu to fukusū no teiku ni yotte ayatsura rete imasu. Watashi no ringu ni wa himo wa arimasen. Watashi no ringude wa futatabime no teiku wa arimasen. Soko ni iru no wa anata dakedesu... Soshite, anata wa animēshon no sekai ni amarini mo kaiteki sugite, MOIST to hontōni oriai o tsukeru koto ga dekimasen."

MOIST: "I look forward to engaging you in combat, both spiritual and physical."

"Anata o koroshimasu. Karera wa, mawari no kodomo-tachi-muke ni hyōjun'ika no terebibangu o tsukuru tame ni, atarashī gōremu o sagasanakereba narimasen. Watashi ga anata no shigoto o oeru koro ni wa, anata wa jimen ni ochite irudeshou. Nettori nureta jimen. Nageku no wa mi shūgaku-ji-tachi dake de,-ji no kisetsu ni wa wasuresara reru."

MOIST: "May the better man win."

"Watashi ga owattara, anata no haka ni shōben o shimasu. Sō sureba, anata no nagaku shinda hone sae mo shimette imasu."

MOIST: "After the show, I look forward to drinking with you and celebrating our careers."

Moist chuckles. "Datte… watashi wa MOISTdakara. Soshite saishūtekini wa... Subete. Ni narimasu. Shittori."

MOIST: "For I am MOIST, and hopefully, you can be moist too."

Laughing, MOIST slowly backs away, fading from the light, his chuckling echoing through the room, leaving only the faint parting words in the wind, as the lightbulb slowly flickers into darkness.




























































"Kitto intānetto hon'yaku tsūru o tsukatte mita n janaideshou ka? Kuso yarō, bitchi."