xtremebadass
Guest
Xtremebadass' REAL iMPACT! 05/10
Well boys and girls, greetings from “The Real iMPACT!†once again I am xtremebadass, this column is to provide you insight about the previous episode of TNA iMPACT! Thursday nights on Spike TV, and also to tell you what REAL iMPACT! it made on us wrestling fans!
Once again, it’s Thursday night, you are preparing to kick off your night with some good old fashioned wrestling. You turn on iMPACT!, the pyros go off and you hear Mike Tenay and DW freakin’ out on commentary and nothing has even happened yet. All I have to say about this show was that the promos outweighed the matches for sure. Let’s get to it.
The show opens up with the match that was advertised on TNAwrestling.com, it was a little preview of the three way tag team title match at Sacrifice, one member of each team, Brother Devon, Homicide and Scott Steiner would face off in a 3 way match. Homicide comes out with his gang of illegals. He has CASTRO’s face on his pants…what the hell is that? Big Scottie Steiner comes out and it was pretty bad, his headdress is pretty bad, but now he had a vest made outta that stuff. Look like he was going into that closet. The match pretty much sucked, because if your in a tag team, you pretty much can’t carry a singles match. Scott Steiner doesn’t have what it takes like he did in WCW, Devon could never carry a singles match to begin with, Homicide has skills in ROH, but in TNA he never really had a great singles match. Steiner just started brawling with Ray and Ray whipped his shirt at him. Hernandez Border Toss to Devon, it’s over. Scottie starts whipping chairs outside swearing his head out, solid Scottie Steiner moment right there.
CAUTION: 3 in 1 Interview time! Borash backstage talking about how he is supposed to interview Christy, but Steiner comes out of nowhere, veins coming out of every part of his body, screaming in Borash’s face about how Tomko is nothing like Rick Steiner when it comes tag teaming. So now he leaves and Christy comes out looking like some half gothic slut. She blabs about her new tag team and then VLM comes over. They need to fire all 3 off these stars at this point because they all suck. Hemme is coming out to the ring.
COMMERCIAL: Time to hit the john.
Christy Hemme actually comes out on stage, valuable iMPACT! time devoted to bull crap like this doesn’t role with weekly TNA viewers. VKM just appear walking, surprisingly without Lance Hoyt, down the ramp. Out of nowhere comes none other than….secret is finally justified after months of spoilers….the Basham Brothers. They delivered chair shots to both Kip and BG. Apparently their new names are Basham (the bald one) and Damaja (the not bald one). Now I don’t know why they called Doug Basham “Basham†Danny could have just as easily used that name. Wow, far cry from Heyman’s Security guards ain’t it?
Well another Promo was a promo with Kevin Nash, Sonjay Dutt, and none other than Black Machismo Jay Lethal. Everyone knows Jay Lethal is probably the most popular X Division star in the company and it doesn’t matter what he says because he is always entertaining. Sonjay cries at the end about how he didn’t have any interviewing time, what a bitch.
Well then it was Alex Shelley teaming with Chris Sabin to take on, in replace of VKM, Sonjay Dutt and Black Machismo Jay Lethal. This was probably the most athletic match of the night. Saw a lot of athleticism by Sonjay Dutt, he has to be good for something. He did a springboard Hurricurana from the apron that was insane and did some standing Hurricuranas which were pretty great as well. Great double teaming by Sabin and Shelley the whole match, including a great double insuguri. Sabin and Shelley picked up the win though, then Older Timie Man Bob Backlund runs out and takes it Alex and Chris for stealing his booker. Doesn’t really do much except a body slam, pretty impressive for an old guy.
At this point I am pissed because Robert Roode, Eric Young, and Jeff Jarrett weren’t on the show yet.
This next interview was gold. It was a 3 way interview with Cage, Angle, and Sting. Angle has the US flag behind him, Cage is in the locker room, and Sting is in the dark depths of Abyss’ soul it looks like, talking to…Christopher Daniels? Ok, now Angle and Sting bark at each other about who should have a title match, but it was really pointless because they are both in the title match so that was pretty stupid. The star of it was Cage, he kept adding his 2 cents in, nobody paying attention to him, but some of his expressions were hilarious, he called Sting the Face Painter, and he kept switching his opinions, straight tactics of a true asshole, gotta love it.
Main Event time, it’s a 6 man tag match previewing 3 “filler†matches at Sacrifice. 2 of which were added just for the hell of it, Rhino vs. Daniels has no purpose at the PPV at all, Samoa Joe and AJ might be entertaining but it is also a filler. Cowboy and now Ex-Pirate boy in the Texas Death Match probably was the only fued worth representing. So it was just an average overdone 6 man tag in TNA, AJ, Cowboy, and Daniels vs. Joe, Rhino, and Ex-Pirate. I didn’t even pay attention because they weren’t using Joe anymore, he is now considered at the same level as Rhino, that’s pretty bad. The only thing in the match that stook out was CLOTHESLINE-A-MANIA! They were clotheslining everyone left and right. Harris somehow got thrown the bottle, a cheap rip off of CM Punk throwing the chair to Burke but somehow got to RVD on ECW, pretty much same scenario, Harris was going to hit Storm, but the ref stopped him and Storm role him up and won the match. Afterwards they go into the crowd and Harris I guess threw him over to the floor, if he was supposed to throw him he sort of botched that one. Then look at the stage! It’s Sting and Kurt Angle! Wow, great last minute idea to hype the title match! Oh yea, that’s right, we DIDN’T reserve in ring time for the title picture, gotta remember that one next time Jimmy!
Well, it was a show of great Promos and a great X division match, pretty much it, but what else would you expect, it’s the show before a PPV, get over it.
Well boys and girls, greetings from “The Real iMPACT!†once again I am xtremebadass, this column is to provide you insight about the previous episode of TNA iMPACT! Thursday nights on Spike TV, and also to tell you what REAL iMPACT! it made on us wrestling fans!
Once again, it’s Thursday night, you are preparing to kick off your night with some good old fashioned wrestling. You turn on iMPACT!, the pyros go off and you hear Mike Tenay and DW freakin’ out on commentary and nothing has even happened yet. All I have to say about this show was that the promos outweighed the matches for sure. Let’s get to it.
The show opens up with the match that was advertised on TNAwrestling.com, it was a little preview of the three way tag team title match at Sacrifice, one member of each team, Brother Devon, Homicide and Scott Steiner would face off in a 3 way match. Homicide comes out with his gang of illegals. He has CASTRO’s face on his pants…what the hell is that? Big Scottie Steiner comes out and it was pretty bad, his headdress is pretty bad, but now he had a vest made outta that stuff. Look like he was going into that closet. The match pretty much sucked, because if your in a tag team, you pretty much can’t carry a singles match. Scott Steiner doesn’t have what it takes like he did in WCW, Devon could never carry a singles match to begin with, Homicide has skills in ROH, but in TNA he never really had a great singles match. Steiner just started brawling with Ray and Ray whipped his shirt at him. Hernandez Border Toss to Devon, it’s over. Scottie starts whipping chairs outside swearing his head out, solid Scottie Steiner moment right there.
CAUTION: 3 in 1 Interview time! Borash backstage talking about how he is supposed to interview Christy, but Steiner comes out of nowhere, veins coming out of every part of his body, screaming in Borash’s face about how Tomko is nothing like Rick Steiner when it comes tag teaming. So now he leaves and Christy comes out looking like some half gothic slut. She blabs about her new tag team and then VLM comes over. They need to fire all 3 off these stars at this point because they all suck. Hemme is coming out to the ring.
COMMERCIAL: Time to hit the john.
Christy Hemme actually comes out on stage, valuable iMPACT! time devoted to bull crap like this doesn’t role with weekly TNA viewers. VKM just appear walking, surprisingly without Lance Hoyt, down the ramp. Out of nowhere comes none other than….secret is finally justified after months of spoilers….the Basham Brothers. They delivered chair shots to both Kip and BG. Apparently their new names are Basham (the bald one) and Damaja (the not bald one). Now I don’t know why they called Doug Basham “Basham†Danny could have just as easily used that name. Wow, far cry from Heyman’s Security guards ain’t it?
Well another Promo was a promo with Kevin Nash, Sonjay Dutt, and none other than Black Machismo Jay Lethal. Everyone knows Jay Lethal is probably the most popular X Division star in the company and it doesn’t matter what he says because he is always entertaining. Sonjay cries at the end about how he didn’t have any interviewing time, what a bitch.
Well then it was Alex Shelley teaming with Chris Sabin to take on, in replace of VKM, Sonjay Dutt and Black Machismo Jay Lethal. This was probably the most athletic match of the night. Saw a lot of athleticism by Sonjay Dutt, he has to be good for something. He did a springboard Hurricurana from the apron that was insane and did some standing Hurricuranas which were pretty great as well. Great double teaming by Sabin and Shelley the whole match, including a great double insuguri. Sabin and Shelley picked up the win though, then Older Timie Man Bob Backlund runs out and takes it Alex and Chris for stealing his booker. Doesn’t really do much except a body slam, pretty impressive for an old guy.
At this point I am pissed because Robert Roode, Eric Young, and Jeff Jarrett weren’t on the show yet.
This next interview was gold. It was a 3 way interview with Cage, Angle, and Sting. Angle has the US flag behind him, Cage is in the locker room, and Sting is in the dark depths of Abyss’ soul it looks like, talking to…Christopher Daniels? Ok, now Angle and Sting bark at each other about who should have a title match, but it was really pointless because they are both in the title match so that was pretty stupid. The star of it was Cage, he kept adding his 2 cents in, nobody paying attention to him, but some of his expressions were hilarious, he called Sting the Face Painter, and he kept switching his opinions, straight tactics of a true asshole, gotta love it.
Main Event time, it’s a 6 man tag match previewing 3 “filler†matches at Sacrifice. 2 of which were added just for the hell of it, Rhino vs. Daniels has no purpose at the PPV at all, Samoa Joe and AJ might be entertaining but it is also a filler. Cowboy and now Ex-Pirate boy in the Texas Death Match probably was the only fued worth representing. So it was just an average overdone 6 man tag in TNA, AJ, Cowboy, and Daniels vs. Joe, Rhino, and Ex-Pirate. I didn’t even pay attention because they weren’t using Joe anymore, he is now considered at the same level as Rhino, that’s pretty bad. The only thing in the match that stook out was CLOTHESLINE-A-MANIA! They were clotheslining everyone left and right. Harris somehow got thrown the bottle, a cheap rip off of CM Punk throwing the chair to Burke but somehow got to RVD on ECW, pretty much same scenario, Harris was going to hit Storm, but the ref stopped him and Storm role him up and won the match. Afterwards they go into the crowd and Harris I guess threw him over to the floor, if he was supposed to throw him he sort of botched that one. Then look at the stage! It’s Sting and Kurt Angle! Wow, great last minute idea to hype the title match! Oh yea, that’s right, we DIDN’T reserve in ring time for the title picture, gotta remember that one next time Jimmy!
Well, it was a show of great Promos and a great X division match, pretty much it, but what else would you expect, it’s the show before a PPV, get over it.
