*The scene opens showing the interior of a private jet. The camera pans to show multiple empty, tan, leather upholstered seats before coming to rest on "The Hardcore Superstar" Logan Matthews. He's wearing a black, custom tailored black suit with a black undershirt and a dark green tie. He looks perfectly groomed, like always, but his gold rimmed aviators are slightly askew. He has a black and white Louis Vuitton scarf draped over his shoulders. He's talking on a black Blackberry Pearl and doesn't seem to notice the camera.*
Logan Matthews: No. No. NO! I don't want the ORANGE, I specifically told you PURPLE. Yes, exactly. Armando, you've been my tailor for 10 years, don't make fire you because you can't get a FU-
*Logan looks up and notices the camera*
Logan Matthews: Look, Armando, I'm gonna have to call you back and if you don't have those colours ab-so-lute-ly per-FECT then you can find a new international wrestling superstar to help you pay the electric bill for your little, rinky dink shop. Ciao.
*Matthews reaches up and adjusts his sunglasses, allowing a quick glimpse at the gold Rolex on his wrist*
Logan Matthews: Ah, hello everyone out that watching this video on IWF.com. It is I, your favorite wrestler, and mine, Logan Matthews. As you can see, I'm sitting aboard my own personal jet, the Shooting Star, and just taking care of a little *ahem* business. It's so hard to find good help these days, and I'm sure the IWF front office would agree with that considering some of the clowns they have running around. I mean honestly, who does that Andres De La Hoya think he is? After our match, and of course that all night party that I don't think half the town has recovered from yet, I had to take a little R & R time and hit my favorite French spa. Of course I took IWF's own, Hayley Williams along for the ride. But none of that matters now, I got the pin on that common street thug De La Hoya and now I'm ready for my next opponent.
*Matthews lightly touches the hair above his left ear before continuing.*
Logan Matthews: Now, this week I've got a match with Hayden Arrington, a man that, according to the match card, "has been given a second chance by management." Well, I've got news for ya pal, your second chance is just another chance for me to prove myself to management. You like to say that you're a future IWF World Champion, well listen buddy, and you listen good, if anyone is this match will one day wear that gold around his waist, and that's the winner, "The New Nature Boy" Logan Matthews. I'm custom made to be the World Champion, from my $500 haircut, to my $4000 suits, to my alligator skin loafers, all the way down to the fact that I am unstoppable in the ring. Hayden, you are nothing but a speed bump for me and you will go down in history as nothing more than a footnote in my legacy.
*Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" is heard, Matthews looks at his phone, then back at the camera with an arrogant smile*
Logan Matthews: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take this.
*The camera zooms out as Logan answers the phone.*
Logan Matthews: Armando! Did you get the colours right? You know I have Jennifer's premiere tonight!
*The scene fades out as we can faintly hear his conversation.*