“I am in a lot of pain right now after what happened on Sunday. But all you people want to do is hear me talk, right? That’s what you want, right? You want to hear me talk? I’ll talk [throws off Burberry scarf] but this is Max Friedman talking.
Big merger boss, lot of important executives here tonight to watch your product. Would be a real shame if something bad happened.
I wouldn’t want to embarrass you, man. Speaking of embarrassing, you’ve been trying to sit down with me to hash things out for quite some time haven’t you? Well guess what? Too little, too late.
Here’s why – When this company first started, it was all friends wrestling. Everybody was handed a ticket, except for me, see, I had to write my own. And boy do I have good penmenship because I’ve created moment after moment after moment for this company and I still get no respect.
Nobody is on my level. No one. Everything I touch, turns to gold. There is nothing I can’t do.
Every time I come out here, I am not expected to hit home runs, I’m expected to grand slams, and I do that shit on a weekly basis!
See all the other boys have to settle for being great, I have to be perfect because I’m the twenty-six year old who is constantly held under a microscope, because I’m the only guy who is capable of carrying this company on my back, as I have, for months!
It’s funny that I hear boos but I also hear clapping. That’s interesting. That’s interesting. Where were you guys this whole weekend when you were calling me an unprofessional piece of shit? I’m just curious.
You’re not the only problem, it’s the boys in the back too. The boys in the back all want my spot so guess what? You want my spot? You can have it because I don’t want to be here anymore.
Now let’s talk about you fans huh? You people call yours fans? You’re not fans, you’re uneducated marks. You sit there on your phones, tweeting out your opinions like they’re worth a damn, let me explain something to you people: you don’t know shit.
Your opinions suck, your opinions change at the drop of a dime and then you pretend that your new opinions match you old opinions, for example: ‘Man, I always knew MJF was a great wrestler.’ Really? That’s interesting. Because last time I checked you guys pretended I sucked in the ring for a long time and why is that huh? Because I’m not untrained like your faves? Because I don’t pretend to watch New Japan? Because I don’t dump my opponents on their head? Because I’m not reckless? What is it? Because I’m not chasing star ratings guys? What is it?
How could I possibly be the best? Well news flash – I am the best! I’m the best in the world! Because I’m the only guy who makes you feel and unlike all those other boys, I don’t have to do a bunch of bullshit to get you there.
I am a generational talent and you people consistently take me for granted but it’s not just you. It’s the big man in the back too.
Here’s something you guys can’t take for granted, here’s something he doesn’t want you to know. Do you guys know who the second biggest minute for minute draw is in this entire company? Nope, you wish. It’s me. It’s me. And if you don’t believe me, ask stat boy Tony in the back and see what he’s got to say but whatever you do don’t ask him to reach into his pockets and pay the man who has been busting his ass for him since day one! No, no, no, no, make sure he hoards all that money. Make sure he hoards all that money so he can make sure and give it to all the new ex-WWE guys he keeps bringing in that can’t lace my goddamn boots!
Hey boss, would you treat me better if I were an ex-WWE guy? See maybe you don’t get it man, here’s the problem with you boss: you got a position of power in a wrestling company, when the only position that you should be assuming is behind the guardrail with all of them!
I don’t want to wait until 2024, but you won’t listen to me so allow me to make it a little easier for you: Tony, I want you to fire me. Don’t count me down! You piece of shit! You shut your mouth!
Tony, look at me Tony, look at me – I want you to fire me. You f***ing mark, fire me! Fire me! Fire me!
