the day before meltdown xxxvii.
hanoi, vietnam.
The camera opens up to reveal a plush, luxurious hotel function room, within which is assembled a veritable ‘who’s who of professional wrestling journalism. Sitting in prominent positions, we can see renowned correspondents Shake Meltzer of PWOutsider, Ty Johnson of Nuances-of-Wrestling, and Derek Silver of the official FWA.com. Each - along with a hundredish less well-known reporters from less well-known publications - is equipped with a device for taking notes: a tablet, a phone, or (in the case of old hands like Shake Meltzer) a trusty notepad and pencil.
There is general chatter of the excited sort amongst the audience, which is more than can be said of the eight people already assembled upon the stage. They are seated in two groups of four, arranged either side of a central podium. Most of them look focussed and somewhat stern, but there is a fair bit of variation between the octet of hopeful participants. Chris Peacock, for instance, wears a bored sneer, whilst Halloween Knight is smiling away happily, clearly pleased and surprised to be there.
The chatter in the audience immediately dies down when America is Waiting by David Byrne and Bryan Eno plays, with Jean-Luc Watkins - our emcee for the evening - walking onto the stage and taking up his position at the pulpit. A polite round of applause accompanies his muted entrance. After an amiable smile is flashed towards his audience, he begins.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Welcome, wrestling fans, the the official press conference ahead of the FWA’s second annual F1 Climaxxx tournament. 2024’s installment features eight of the company’s top stars as they hope to add their names to the history books, and claim the FWA North American Championship in the process. Tonight, we will hear from each of our eight participants ahead of their respective F1 campaigns, starting with the winner of last year’s tournament: ‘Dreamer’ Michelle von Horrowitz.”
Another polite round of applause as MvH takes to the podium. She takes a few pages of notes from the pocket of her hoodie and arranges them on the podium. She goes to start… and is suddenly overcome by a burst of coughing. She thumbs her chest with her fist and tries again… only for another fit of coughing to overwhelm her and stop her from reading. To those listening carefully, the last of these coughs sound remarkably like barks.
More importantly, she gives up on the task of reading her notes, instead deciding to remove the microphone from the podium. She walks to the edge of the stage and hands her notes, along with the microphone, to PWOutsider’s Shake Meltzer. Michelle pats him on the shoulder and points at the notes, giving him a thumbs up when she returns to the podium. The reporter proceeds to read them in a thick Glaswegian accent.
Shake Meltzer: “It’s an honour to be here with my colleagues, esteemed members of the wrestling media, and people who I retired. Speaking of which, hi Ty -- long time no see. How’ve you been? It’s been a weird year for me, but I guess now isn’t the time. Anyway, I was told I didn’t have very long here, so I’ve compiled a few quickfire thoughts about the seven wrestlers with whom I share the stage with this year.”
As Shake reads out Michelle’s prepared speech, the woman herself makes various gestures in annotation on the stage. A shrug when Ty Johnson (and his early retirement) is referenced. A dismissive wave at the other wrestlers upon their mention.
Shake Meltzer: “Some of them, like Xavien and the Knight, I’ve never met before. The former, I look forward to testing myself against. The emergence of a new generation is always an exciting time. The latter… well, at least it’s not the Trash Mammal, I guess. There are others who I’ve watched for a while from afar. I had always thought the Mad Wizard an interesting creature, at least in comparison to the drab, monochromatic clowns that line up within our big tent. It’s a shame he got himself lost on his Dark Road to nowhere, but the thought of dancing with Konchu is far more alluring than another slow tango with the Exile. Xperienx Xtacee… I have nothing negative to say about Xtacee. Xtacee is a fun time.”
A suggestive wink from Dreamer.
Shake Meltzer: “And then there are those that I do know. A little too well, in all three cases. Our brave champion, who has reigned for four hundred days and shows little sign of slowing down. This trinket… it does mean something to me. And not because it would complete the set. Much is made of this collection of gold, but ultimately it means very little to me. My legacy is already ensured: by the truth and quality of my words, rather than through the belts that I have worn. But I know a man who thinks differently. To whom the collection is the legacy. I am talking, of course, about our great former champion, who now turns his attention to the Bastard’s belt, believing that it will finally bring him the respect he thinks he deserves.”
As Shake continues to speak, Michelle faces Peacock directly, shaking her head with pity.
Shake Meltzer: “But it won’t, Chris. They will never respect you. Not for as long as you live in the filth of your own mind, and drag great men down with you. Not for as long as you hide behind dick jokes and cum trucks. Your tag team name is a literal call for incest. This will be your legacy. The dick champion, a hero to teenage boys everywhere. I do not want this FWA North American Championship for myself. I want to stop you from having it.”
Midway through this utterance, Chris Peacock abruptly gets up from his chair, muttering ‘fuck this shit’ as he walks off the stage. He disappears through a fire exit at the side of the room. A smiling Michelle shrugs before prompting Shake to finish up.
Shake Meltzer: “And as for you, Michael… it’s been so long. I hardly remember you at all. I’m looking forward to it.”
Dreamer retrieves her notes from Shake before returning to her seat. Jean-Luc returns to the pulpit, a nervous smile on his face.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Well, whilst our team does its best to return this septet into an octet, let’s move on with our next speaker: ‘the Mad Wizard’, Konchu Hao.”
Konchu rises from his seat and takes center stage among the rest of the F1 Climaxxx participants. Oddly for the Mad Wizard, there’s no manic mannerisms, no whimsical lunacy. Instead, Konchu is incredibly somber, as he speaks with a tone laden heavily with gravitas.
Konchu Hao: “I would stand up here, amongst my peers and fellow wrestlers, and talk about what this tournament means and the prize that’s up for grabs. Ultimately, I could also speak on the history that I have with some of the men and women in Climaxxx. Aspects know that there’s buckets of ill-cured blood, enough to fill an ocean.
“But I find myself wistfully and morosely reminiscing on the path that has brought me to this point, and has aided me in securing a spot in this tournament.
“Many of you will recall that I was part of a tournament during the Brand Split. The prize was an opportunity at the FWA World Championship, and there were quite a few at the time that thought I did not deserve the opportunity having come off a championship title match loss at that year’s Back in Business. And if I’m completely honest? It was obvious that I was not mentally or spiritually prepared to compete at that level.
“That tournament? It nearly broke me. Shattered me. And yet…for want of a singular moment? It would’ve been I who advanced to the final. What could’ve happened at that point? Speculation, and nothing more at this point…but it does make you think, does it not? I was a man hanging on by the razor’s edge, clinging to what was important in the face of immense pressure and a level of expectation that was not there to begin with, but had been cultivated by my successes.
“I nearly won a World Championship tournament against former champions, blue-chip athletes, and prospects hungry for validation, and also damn near unraveled. But…that was then. And so much has happened. I have…evolved. I have learned much about myself and my place in the world. And throughout the struggles? I have become something far more than that lunatic that once graced my mirror.”
Konchu turns as he looks at his possible opponents. He spends time on each of them…but a bit longer on some old foes.
Konchu Hao: “Another championship tournament? Another field of FWA’s finest?”
Konchu lingers on Chris Peacock’s empty chair.
Xavien Marshall.
And finally, Big Bryan Bastard.
Konchu Hao: “Kehahaha…tell me. Which one of you wants to bet against me? I do look forward to seeing which among you will lose that fool’s wager.”
Konchu sits down at his seat with most of the other participants slightly unnerved around him. Watkins returns to the podium.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Well, after that strange interlude, hopefully we can return to normality with… oh, nevermind, it’s Xperienx Xtacee!”
Xtacee makes a slow walk over to the podium from his position at the far end of the line. When he reaches the pulpit, he peers over it and into the audience, almost into their souls, a look of unending sadness and defeatism upon his sorrowful face…
This goes on… and on…
… and on …
… and on … for three whole minutes. Three whole minutes of staring, and perfect silenx.
Eventually, a woman appears on the stage from behind the side curtain, placing an arm around Xtacee’s shoulder.
Monica: “Xtacee has no comment.”
Finally, accompanied by Monica, he returns to his seat, Watkins replacing him at the pulpit.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Yes, um… moving swiftly on, then… to a man who knows the FWA North American Championship very well: ‘the Prodigy’ Mike Parr!”
Parr approaches the podium with a sense of gravitas about him, as if the weight of the task
Mike Parr: “I would hope that there is one thing that we can all agree upon as it pertains to my time within the FWA, and that is that I love wrestling. There were times where I was afraid to admit it, times where I wouldn’t be caught dead saying it, and times where I didn’t think it. But if you strip away all of the bullshit, all of the lights, the fame, the money, the women, the glory…fundamentally, at my core, I love wrestling. I love competing. The difference now, when I’ve come back, is that I’ve come back with a purpose beyond solely existing to win. I’ve accepted that it isn’t possible…there were days gone past when I would sit around and drive myself to a bottle, drive myself to depression, all because I didn’t get a trivial little victory at a wrestling show…and that spiral, that continued pressure and expectation that I placed upon myself, regardless of anyone else, that was always going to reach a breaking point. There was always going to be that moment where I needed to get up and walk away, and when that moment came, it was pretty unclear as to whether I would ever come back.
“But here I am, and I didn’t just decide one day that I fancied walking back through the door and trying to wrestle the best again. It’s been a process, a process where I’ve accepted that I might lose, that I might not be the best every night, and as long as I can live with that, I can still get the buzz from the competition and doing what I love without the spiraling and despair that used to follow…and you know what, I think that makes me more dangerous overall.
“Foolish, sure, as what idiot comes back and wrestles two of the best in the company with Konchu and Johnny right off the bat, with just Michelle von Horrowitz to follow. It sounds moronic when I say it out loud, but you know what….I’ve knew when I started this run that I may not beat Konchu. I know that I may not get one over on Michelle. It doesn’t stop me, with every fibre of my being, wanting to get the better of both of them, but I’ve accepted that it may just not be my night. It may not just be my time, and that is what makes me dangerous. Free from the weight of expectation I’ve placed on myself for as long as I can remember, lets see where this ends up. One win, two wins, three wins….my championship….who knows how it’s going to shake out. But let’s see, lets go on this ride together, and lets see where it takes me. Last years F1 Climaxxx didn’t quite go to plan, this is the redemption arc. I can’t say that I’m going to turn up each week and win but you sure as hell know that I’m going to turn up and compete.
“If I do…if I compete as I know I can, I could always wrestle, so I wouldn’t be too quick to back against me ending this tournament with the North American Championship in my possession. You see, I don’t expect to win any more, but I sure as hell think I can. I can win in February and I can defend my championship by winning this entire thing.”
Applause from the audience for the more conventional speech from ‘the Prodigy’, with Parr taking his seat again amongst the Pool A competitors. Jean-Luc returns to the microphone.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Which concludes our Pool A introductions, wrestling fans, and means it’s time for us to march onwards with Pool B. We were going to begin with the second of two former FWA World Champions up on the stage, but…”
J-L affords himself a sidewards glance at Chris Peacock’s empty chair.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “It appears Disco’s Last Warrior is pleading the fifth. So, next is… oh, Jesus Christ.”
Halloween Knight: “Not quite!”
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Next up is Halloween Knight…”
Smattered applause as the Tr1ck or Tr4sh member approaches the podium.
Halloween Knight: “Ladies and gentlemen, mis queridos fans, it is I, Halloween Knight, the iconic Mexican luchador who has danced with death and delighted you all for decades., bringing with me the spirit of lucha libre, the passion of Mexican culture, and a burning desire to entertain and inspire all of you.
“Throughout my illustrious career, I have soared to unimaginable heights, flipped and twisted through the air, and executed moves that have left you breathless. The cheers, the applauses, and the shared joy we experienced together will forever be etched in my heart. But in the year 2024, I stood at the crossroads of my journey, on the brink of retirement.
“As I contemplated hanging up my mask, a fire within me refuses to be extinguished. There is one last firework left to light up the sky, one last dance for the ages that I am destined to perform. The world title calls to me, and although I may be viewed as a massive underdog ,in the F1 underestimate the power of perseverance, determination, and the spirits of luchadors gone by that courses through my veins.
“In my prime, the squared circle was my playground, my canvas, where I painted stories of epic battles and showcased the essence of lucha libre. I have witnessed the rise of new stars, the awe-inspiring feats they perform that push the boundaries of what we thought were possible. I have seen strength, agility, and speed beyond my own capabilities, and I have embraced and celebrated their accomplishments.
“But now, my dear friends, it is my turn to remind the world of the greatness that once flowed through my veins. No matter how close I am to retirement, I refuse to let my legacy fade away without one final extravaganza. And what better way to solidify my legend than by winning the f1 against all odds, against the new breed of superstars.
“I carry with me the legacy of my predecessors, those who paved the way for lucha libre and allowed me to proudly wear this mask. Their spirits guide me, their lessons echo in my ears, constantly reminding me of the honor and responsibility I bear as a representative of Mexican wrestling.
“When I step into that ring, my friends, I will be armed with more than just steel chairs and high-flying maneuvers. I will carry the collective hopes and dreams of my people, the ones who have stood by me throughout my career, the ones who have believed in my ability to overcome any obstacle. It is for them, for you, that I will dig deeper than ever before.
“The journey may have been long, and the road to the f1 may have been fraught with challenges, but it is precisely those trials that have shaped me into the luchador I am today. My body may ache, and my bones may creak, but they bear the marks of battles fought with passion, resilience, and a love for this incredible sport.
“I may look like a mere skeleton to the untrained eye, but beneath this mask, there is a heart that beats with the rhythm of Mexican culture. I embody the spirit of my people, their strength, their perseverance, and their vibrant energy. This is not just about winning the f1 it is about representing everything that we hold dear, about proudly showcasing our traditions and heritage on the grandest stage.
“As I prepare for this monumental showdown, I call upon all of you, my fans, to stand beside me. Your unwavering support has carried me through times of triumph and moments of defeat. Your cheers, your chants, and your devotion give me the strength to conquer even the most insurmountable challenges.
“So, my dear amigos y amigas, prepare yourselves for the final battle. Witness the dance of the Halloween Knight one more time. Together, we will push the boundaries, challenge expectations, and leave a lasting legacy that will inspire generations to come.
“Gracias, mi gente. Your adoration fuels my fire. Join me as we make history, as we proclaim to the world that, Halloween Knight, will not be defeated in his quest Prepare for the greatest spectacle of lucha libre that you have ever witnessed. And trust me when I say, with all my heart and soul, that this is far from the end. ¡Viva la lucha libre! Viva Halloween Knight!”
Half way through Knight’s speech, an instrumental ‘hurry up’ song begins, similar to those used in awards shows, but HK just plows on with his planned (?) monologue anyway. He finishes when he is ready to finish, and returns to his chair with a satisfied look on his face. Watkins appears flabbergasted when he returns.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “That was… hmm, moving swiftly on… next to talk ahead of his F1 Climaxxx campaign is the undefeated Xavien Marshall…”
Xavien approaches, his FWA World Tag Team Championship on his shoulder and the Gunfight One Ring on his hand. He leans over into the microphone to give his address.
Xavien Marshall: “Uh, I’m going to try to speak as professionally as possible here. I’ve got a note card because press conferences aren’t really my style, but I’m going to do my best and be on my best behavior, as much as I’d like to smack everyone up here to prove a point.
“There’s this... notion, this idea, that I’ve still not proven anything in this business. I’m sure many men have come into the FWA and been undefeated. I don’t doubt that. I believe the prestige of this company speaks for itself. The question I pose is, has anyone ever done it as dominantly as me? In six matches, I am 6-0. I am one half of the FWA World Tag Team Champions. I have defeated Konchu Hao, Jay Kenny, and Wild Jerry one-on-one. I’ve lasted to the final two of a 20 man Battle Royal, then won the Gunfight One Ring in five minutes. We’ve defeated the Dark Roads Alliance. Then, we did it again, and also beat FTN at the same time.
“Individuals keep saying that I haven’t proven anything yet. I argue the opposite. None of you have proven it yet. No one has proven they can beat me. Wrestling is a tough business, maybe I didn’t respect that before I was involved in it. That has changed. I know it’s easy to lose on any given night.
“But I’m not going to. I’m going to end this tournament the same way I started it. Undefeated. Undefeated in block B. Undefeated in the tournament portion. If you, as fans, were excited for the competition, I regret to inform you that there will be little suspense. It’s going to end just like every other match I’ve wrestled to this point.
“I’ll end with this, and these words might be a bit out of character, but I’ll momentarily be humble. I do have respect for each individual in this field. I have stepped inside the ring with Peacock and Hao, and I’ve watched the rest of the field in the past. It is an incredibly talented group of professional wrestlers, and a true gauntlet of dangerous men and women.
“Which will make it so much sweeter when I deliver on my promise and add every single name to my list of victories. And when I add not only F1 Climaxxx winner, but also FWA North American Champion, to my resume.”
A round of applause follows the champion’s declaration, and he sits back in his chair with a look of unerring focus upon his face. Watkins returns to the microphone for the final time.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “And, last but certainly not least, is the man who upped the ante in 2024’s F1 Climaxxx by putting the FWA North American Championship on the line… Big Bryan Bastard.”
Bryan approaches the microphone with a stern glare. His championship belt glimmers under the hotel function room’s bright lights and the flashing cameras of the adjacent photographers. He adjusts it upon his shoulder before he begins.
Bryan Baxter: “People keep askin’ me about why? Why would I take this North American title… the one I’ve had for over 400 days now. The one, that after I beat Parr, I am gonna become the record holder for longest champion ever… why would I just put it on the line in such an unpredictable tournament? I’ll tell you why. Because I wanna make sure… that I have every incentive to win this thing. I want to make sure there’s nothin’ holdin’ me back. I don’t want a replay of what happened last year. I should’ve won. Everyone knows that I should’ve won. I steamrolled everyone… was undefeated… but I got robbed in the semi-finals by Michelle. And then I spent the next several months watching people like Chris Peacock and Cyrus Truth, the people I beat in the F1, either having the FWA title or getting title shots and main eventing Back in Business. All when that shoulda been me. I don’t want that to happen this year. This year I’m finishing what I started… and ain’t Chris Peacock, ain’t Mike Parr, ain’t Michelle von Whatever she’s going by now…. Ain’t NOBODY gonna stop me. And when the F1 is over… I’m still gonna be the North American Champion.”
Baxter elects to leave it there, keeping his words short but sweet. He takes his position in front of the podium, his belt proudly positioned on his shoulder. Slowly, one by one, the other (remaining) six competitors join him towards the front of the stage, arranged so that they are all looking at the champion and his belt, camera flashes framing the field as we fade away from the press conference.
hanoi, vietnam.
The camera opens up to reveal a plush, luxurious hotel function room, within which is assembled a veritable ‘who’s who of professional wrestling journalism. Sitting in prominent positions, we can see renowned correspondents Shake Meltzer of PWOutsider, Ty Johnson of Nuances-of-Wrestling, and Derek Silver of the official FWA.com. Each - along with a hundredish less well-known reporters from less well-known publications - is equipped with a device for taking notes: a tablet, a phone, or (in the case of old hands like Shake Meltzer) a trusty notepad and pencil.
There is general chatter of the excited sort amongst the audience, which is more than can be said of the eight people already assembled upon the stage. They are seated in two groups of four, arranged either side of a central podium. Most of them look focussed and somewhat stern, but there is a fair bit of variation between the octet of hopeful participants. Chris Peacock, for instance, wears a bored sneer, whilst Halloween Knight is smiling away happily, clearly pleased and surprised to be there.
The chatter in the audience immediately dies down when America is Waiting by David Byrne and Bryan Eno plays, with Jean-Luc Watkins - our emcee for the evening - walking onto the stage and taking up his position at the pulpit. A polite round of applause accompanies his muted entrance. After an amiable smile is flashed towards his audience, he begins.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Welcome, wrestling fans, the the official press conference ahead of the FWA’s second annual F1 Climaxxx tournament. 2024’s installment features eight of the company’s top stars as they hope to add their names to the history books, and claim the FWA North American Championship in the process. Tonight, we will hear from each of our eight participants ahead of their respective F1 campaigns, starting with the winner of last year’s tournament: ‘Dreamer’ Michelle von Horrowitz.”
Another polite round of applause as MvH takes to the podium. She takes a few pages of notes from the pocket of her hoodie and arranges them on the podium. She goes to start… and is suddenly overcome by a burst of coughing. She thumbs her chest with her fist and tries again… only for another fit of coughing to overwhelm her and stop her from reading. To those listening carefully, the last of these coughs sound remarkably like barks.
More importantly, she gives up on the task of reading her notes, instead deciding to remove the microphone from the podium. She walks to the edge of the stage and hands her notes, along with the microphone, to PWOutsider’s Shake Meltzer. Michelle pats him on the shoulder and points at the notes, giving him a thumbs up when she returns to the podium. The reporter proceeds to read them in a thick Glaswegian accent.
Shake Meltzer: “It’s an honour to be here with my colleagues, esteemed members of the wrestling media, and people who I retired. Speaking of which, hi Ty -- long time no see. How’ve you been? It’s been a weird year for me, but I guess now isn’t the time. Anyway, I was told I didn’t have very long here, so I’ve compiled a few quickfire thoughts about the seven wrestlers with whom I share the stage with this year.”
As Shake reads out Michelle’s prepared speech, the woman herself makes various gestures in annotation on the stage. A shrug when Ty Johnson (and his early retirement) is referenced. A dismissive wave at the other wrestlers upon their mention.
Shake Meltzer: “Some of them, like Xavien and the Knight, I’ve never met before. The former, I look forward to testing myself against. The emergence of a new generation is always an exciting time. The latter… well, at least it’s not the Trash Mammal, I guess. There are others who I’ve watched for a while from afar. I had always thought the Mad Wizard an interesting creature, at least in comparison to the drab, monochromatic clowns that line up within our big tent. It’s a shame he got himself lost on his Dark Road to nowhere, but the thought of dancing with Konchu is far more alluring than another slow tango with the Exile. Xperienx Xtacee… I have nothing negative to say about Xtacee. Xtacee is a fun time.”
A suggestive wink from Dreamer.
Shake Meltzer: “And then there are those that I do know. A little too well, in all three cases. Our brave champion, who has reigned for four hundred days and shows little sign of slowing down. This trinket… it does mean something to me. And not because it would complete the set. Much is made of this collection of gold, but ultimately it means very little to me. My legacy is already ensured: by the truth and quality of my words, rather than through the belts that I have worn. But I know a man who thinks differently. To whom the collection is the legacy. I am talking, of course, about our great former champion, who now turns his attention to the Bastard’s belt, believing that it will finally bring him the respect he thinks he deserves.”
As Shake continues to speak, Michelle faces Peacock directly, shaking her head with pity.
Shake Meltzer: “But it won’t, Chris. They will never respect you. Not for as long as you live in the filth of your own mind, and drag great men down with you. Not for as long as you hide behind dick jokes and cum trucks. Your tag team name is a literal call for incest. This will be your legacy. The dick champion, a hero to teenage boys everywhere. I do not want this FWA North American Championship for myself. I want to stop you from having it.”
Midway through this utterance, Chris Peacock abruptly gets up from his chair, muttering ‘fuck this shit’ as he walks off the stage. He disappears through a fire exit at the side of the room. A smiling Michelle shrugs before prompting Shake to finish up.
Shake Meltzer: “And as for you, Michael… it’s been so long. I hardly remember you at all. I’m looking forward to it.”
Dreamer retrieves her notes from Shake before returning to her seat. Jean-Luc returns to the pulpit, a nervous smile on his face.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Well, whilst our team does its best to return this septet into an octet, let’s move on with our next speaker: ‘the Mad Wizard’, Konchu Hao.”
Konchu rises from his seat and takes center stage among the rest of the F1 Climaxxx participants. Oddly for the Mad Wizard, there’s no manic mannerisms, no whimsical lunacy. Instead, Konchu is incredibly somber, as he speaks with a tone laden heavily with gravitas.
Konchu Hao: “I would stand up here, amongst my peers and fellow wrestlers, and talk about what this tournament means and the prize that’s up for grabs. Ultimately, I could also speak on the history that I have with some of the men and women in Climaxxx. Aspects know that there’s buckets of ill-cured blood, enough to fill an ocean.
“But I find myself wistfully and morosely reminiscing on the path that has brought me to this point, and has aided me in securing a spot in this tournament.
“Many of you will recall that I was part of a tournament during the Brand Split. The prize was an opportunity at the FWA World Championship, and there were quite a few at the time that thought I did not deserve the opportunity having come off a championship title match loss at that year’s Back in Business. And if I’m completely honest? It was obvious that I was not mentally or spiritually prepared to compete at that level.
“That tournament? It nearly broke me. Shattered me. And yet…for want of a singular moment? It would’ve been I who advanced to the final. What could’ve happened at that point? Speculation, and nothing more at this point…but it does make you think, does it not? I was a man hanging on by the razor’s edge, clinging to what was important in the face of immense pressure and a level of expectation that was not there to begin with, but had been cultivated by my successes.
“I nearly won a World Championship tournament against former champions, blue-chip athletes, and prospects hungry for validation, and also damn near unraveled. But…that was then. And so much has happened. I have…evolved. I have learned much about myself and my place in the world. And throughout the struggles? I have become something far more than that lunatic that once graced my mirror.”
Konchu turns as he looks at his possible opponents. He spends time on each of them…but a bit longer on some old foes.
Konchu Hao: “Another championship tournament? Another field of FWA’s finest?”
Konchu lingers on Chris Peacock’s empty chair.
Xavien Marshall.
And finally, Big Bryan Bastard.
Konchu Hao: “Kehahaha…tell me. Which one of you wants to bet against me? I do look forward to seeing which among you will lose that fool’s wager.”
Konchu sits down at his seat with most of the other participants slightly unnerved around him. Watkins returns to the podium.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Well, after that strange interlude, hopefully we can return to normality with… oh, nevermind, it’s Xperienx Xtacee!”
Xtacee makes a slow walk over to the podium from his position at the far end of the line. When he reaches the pulpit, he peers over it and into the audience, almost into their souls, a look of unending sadness and defeatism upon his sorrowful face…
This goes on… and on…
… and on …
… and on … for three whole minutes. Three whole minutes of staring, and perfect silenx.
Eventually, a woman appears on the stage from behind the side curtain, placing an arm around Xtacee’s shoulder.
Monica: “Xtacee has no comment.”
Finally, accompanied by Monica, he returns to his seat, Watkins replacing him at the pulpit.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Yes, um… moving swiftly on, then… to a man who knows the FWA North American Championship very well: ‘the Prodigy’ Mike Parr!”
Parr approaches the podium with a sense of gravitas about him, as if the weight of the task
Mike Parr: “I would hope that there is one thing that we can all agree upon as it pertains to my time within the FWA, and that is that I love wrestling. There were times where I was afraid to admit it, times where I wouldn’t be caught dead saying it, and times where I didn’t think it. But if you strip away all of the bullshit, all of the lights, the fame, the money, the women, the glory…fundamentally, at my core, I love wrestling. I love competing. The difference now, when I’ve come back, is that I’ve come back with a purpose beyond solely existing to win. I’ve accepted that it isn’t possible…there were days gone past when I would sit around and drive myself to a bottle, drive myself to depression, all because I didn’t get a trivial little victory at a wrestling show…and that spiral, that continued pressure and expectation that I placed upon myself, regardless of anyone else, that was always going to reach a breaking point. There was always going to be that moment where I needed to get up and walk away, and when that moment came, it was pretty unclear as to whether I would ever come back.
“But here I am, and I didn’t just decide one day that I fancied walking back through the door and trying to wrestle the best again. It’s been a process, a process where I’ve accepted that I might lose, that I might not be the best every night, and as long as I can live with that, I can still get the buzz from the competition and doing what I love without the spiraling and despair that used to follow…and you know what, I think that makes me more dangerous overall.
“Foolish, sure, as what idiot comes back and wrestles two of the best in the company with Konchu and Johnny right off the bat, with just Michelle von Horrowitz to follow. It sounds moronic when I say it out loud, but you know what….I’ve knew when I started this run that I may not beat Konchu. I know that I may not get one over on Michelle. It doesn’t stop me, with every fibre of my being, wanting to get the better of both of them, but I’ve accepted that it may just not be my night. It may not just be my time, and that is what makes me dangerous. Free from the weight of expectation I’ve placed on myself for as long as I can remember, lets see where this ends up. One win, two wins, three wins….my championship….who knows how it’s going to shake out. But let’s see, lets go on this ride together, and lets see where it takes me. Last years F1 Climaxxx didn’t quite go to plan, this is the redemption arc. I can’t say that I’m going to turn up each week and win but you sure as hell know that I’m going to turn up and compete.
“If I do…if I compete as I know I can, I could always wrestle, so I wouldn’t be too quick to back against me ending this tournament with the North American Championship in my possession. You see, I don’t expect to win any more, but I sure as hell think I can. I can win in February and I can defend my championship by winning this entire thing.”
Applause from the audience for the more conventional speech from ‘the Prodigy’, with Parr taking his seat again amongst the Pool A competitors. Jean-Luc returns to the microphone.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Which concludes our Pool A introductions, wrestling fans, and means it’s time for us to march onwards with Pool B. We were going to begin with the second of two former FWA World Champions up on the stage, but…”
J-L affords himself a sidewards glance at Chris Peacock’s empty chair.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “It appears Disco’s Last Warrior is pleading the fifth. So, next is… oh, Jesus Christ.”
Halloween Knight: “Not quite!”
Jean-Luc Watkins: “Next up is Halloween Knight…”
Smattered applause as the Tr1ck or Tr4sh member approaches the podium.
Halloween Knight: “Ladies and gentlemen, mis queridos fans, it is I, Halloween Knight, the iconic Mexican luchador who has danced with death and delighted you all for decades., bringing with me the spirit of lucha libre, the passion of Mexican culture, and a burning desire to entertain and inspire all of you.
“Throughout my illustrious career, I have soared to unimaginable heights, flipped and twisted through the air, and executed moves that have left you breathless. The cheers, the applauses, and the shared joy we experienced together will forever be etched in my heart. But in the year 2024, I stood at the crossroads of my journey, on the brink of retirement.
“As I contemplated hanging up my mask, a fire within me refuses to be extinguished. There is one last firework left to light up the sky, one last dance for the ages that I am destined to perform. The world title calls to me, and although I may be viewed as a massive underdog ,in the F1 underestimate the power of perseverance, determination, and the spirits of luchadors gone by that courses through my veins.
“In my prime, the squared circle was my playground, my canvas, where I painted stories of epic battles and showcased the essence of lucha libre. I have witnessed the rise of new stars, the awe-inspiring feats they perform that push the boundaries of what we thought were possible. I have seen strength, agility, and speed beyond my own capabilities, and I have embraced and celebrated their accomplishments.
“But now, my dear friends, it is my turn to remind the world of the greatness that once flowed through my veins. No matter how close I am to retirement, I refuse to let my legacy fade away without one final extravaganza. And what better way to solidify my legend than by winning the f1 against all odds, against the new breed of superstars.
“I carry with me the legacy of my predecessors, those who paved the way for lucha libre and allowed me to proudly wear this mask. Their spirits guide me, their lessons echo in my ears, constantly reminding me of the honor and responsibility I bear as a representative of Mexican wrestling.
“When I step into that ring, my friends, I will be armed with more than just steel chairs and high-flying maneuvers. I will carry the collective hopes and dreams of my people, the ones who have stood by me throughout my career, the ones who have believed in my ability to overcome any obstacle. It is for them, for you, that I will dig deeper than ever before.
“The journey may have been long, and the road to the f1 may have been fraught with challenges, but it is precisely those trials that have shaped me into the luchador I am today. My body may ache, and my bones may creak, but they bear the marks of battles fought with passion, resilience, and a love for this incredible sport.
“I may look like a mere skeleton to the untrained eye, but beneath this mask, there is a heart that beats with the rhythm of Mexican culture. I embody the spirit of my people, their strength, their perseverance, and their vibrant energy. This is not just about winning the f1 it is about representing everything that we hold dear, about proudly showcasing our traditions and heritage on the grandest stage.
“As I prepare for this monumental showdown, I call upon all of you, my fans, to stand beside me. Your unwavering support has carried me through times of triumph and moments of defeat. Your cheers, your chants, and your devotion give me the strength to conquer even the most insurmountable challenges.
“So, my dear amigos y amigas, prepare yourselves for the final battle. Witness the dance of the Halloween Knight one more time. Together, we will push the boundaries, challenge expectations, and leave a lasting legacy that will inspire generations to come.
“Gracias, mi gente. Your adoration fuels my fire. Join me as we make history, as we proclaim to the world that, Halloween Knight, will not be defeated in his quest Prepare for the greatest spectacle of lucha libre that you have ever witnessed. And trust me when I say, with all my heart and soul, that this is far from the end. ¡Viva la lucha libre! Viva Halloween Knight!”
Half way through Knight’s speech, an instrumental ‘hurry up’ song begins, similar to those used in awards shows, but HK just plows on with his planned (?) monologue anyway. He finishes when he is ready to finish, and returns to his chair with a satisfied look on his face. Watkins appears flabbergasted when he returns.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “That was… hmm, moving swiftly on… next to talk ahead of his F1 Climaxxx campaign is the undefeated Xavien Marshall…”
Xavien approaches, his FWA World Tag Team Championship on his shoulder and the Gunfight One Ring on his hand. He leans over into the microphone to give his address.
Xavien Marshall: “Uh, I’m going to try to speak as professionally as possible here. I’ve got a note card because press conferences aren’t really my style, but I’m going to do my best and be on my best behavior, as much as I’d like to smack everyone up here to prove a point.
“There’s this... notion, this idea, that I’ve still not proven anything in this business. I’m sure many men have come into the FWA and been undefeated. I don’t doubt that. I believe the prestige of this company speaks for itself. The question I pose is, has anyone ever done it as dominantly as me? In six matches, I am 6-0. I am one half of the FWA World Tag Team Champions. I have defeated Konchu Hao, Jay Kenny, and Wild Jerry one-on-one. I’ve lasted to the final two of a 20 man Battle Royal, then won the Gunfight One Ring in five minutes. We’ve defeated the Dark Roads Alliance. Then, we did it again, and also beat FTN at the same time.
“Individuals keep saying that I haven’t proven anything yet. I argue the opposite. None of you have proven it yet. No one has proven they can beat me. Wrestling is a tough business, maybe I didn’t respect that before I was involved in it. That has changed. I know it’s easy to lose on any given night.
“But I’m not going to. I’m going to end this tournament the same way I started it. Undefeated. Undefeated in block B. Undefeated in the tournament portion. If you, as fans, were excited for the competition, I regret to inform you that there will be little suspense. It’s going to end just like every other match I’ve wrestled to this point.
“I’ll end with this, and these words might be a bit out of character, but I’ll momentarily be humble. I do have respect for each individual in this field. I have stepped inside the ring with Peacock and Hao, and I’ve watched the rest of the field in the past. It is an incredibly talented group of professional wrestlers, and a true gauntlet of dangerous men and women.
“Which will make it so much sweeter when I deliver on my promise and add every single name to my list of victories. And when I add not only F1 Climaxxx winner, but also FWA North American Champion, to my resume.”
A round of applause follows the champion’s declaration, and he sits back in his chair with a look of unerring focus upon his face. Watkins returns to the microphone for the final time.
Jean-Luc Watkins: “And, last but certainly not least, is the man who upped the ante in 2024’s F1 Climaxxx by putting the FWA North American Championship on the line… Big Bryan Bastard.”
Bryan approaches the microphone with a stern glare. His championship belt glimmers under the hotel function room’s bright lights and the flashing cameras of the adjacent photographers. He adjusts it upon his shoulder before he begins.
Bryan Baxter: “People keep askin’ me about why? Why would I take this North American title… the one I’ve had for over 400 days now. The one, that after I beat Parr, I am gonna become the record holder for longest champion ever… why would I just put it on the line in such an unpredictable tournament? I’ll tell you why. Because I wanna make sure… that I have every incentive to win this thing. I want to make sure there’s nothin’ holdin’ me back. I don’t want a replay of what happened last year. I should’ve won. Everyone knows that I should’ve won. I steamrolled everyone… was undefeated… but I got robbed in the semi-finals by Michelle. And then I spent the next several months watching people like Chris Peacock and Cyrus Truth, the people I beat in the F1, either having the FWA title or getting title shots and main eventing Back in Business. All when that shoulda been me. I don’t want that to happen this year. This year I’m finishing what I started… and ain’t Chris Peacock, ain’t Mike Parr, ain’t Michelle von Whatever she’s going by now…. Ain’t NOBODY gonna stop me. And when the F1 is over… I’m still gonna be the North American Champion.”
Baxter elects to leave it there, keeping his words short but sweet. He takes his position in front of the podium, his belt proudly positioned on his shoulder. Slowly, one by one, the other (remaining) six competitors join him towards the front of the stage, arranged so that they are all looking at the champion and his belt, camera flashes framing the field as we fade away from the press conference.
XXXVII.
“NIGHT ONE.”
Live from Cung thể thao Quần Ngựa [the Quần Ngựa Sports Palace] in Hanoi, Vietnam.
Thursday 25th January, 2024.
We open up on a rather rampant audience within the Quần Ngựa Sports Palace, the camera panning across the expectant faces of the cheering fans. There is a chant of the company’s initials as a large display of pyrotechnics ignite from the stage and around the ring, the camera finally settling on the two announcers sat behind the desk.
Rod Sterling: “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this, the thirty-seventh edition of FWA Meltdown, and tonight it’s all about the 2024 F1 Climaxxx tournament! It’s opening night, Anzu!”
Anzu Kurosawa: “It all starts here, with four matches in the pool stages of the tournament. Our main event tonight puts together two old adversaries, as Michelle von Horrowitz takes on Mike Parr, the man who attacked her with a lead pipe during the infancy of her FWA career.”
Rod Sterling: “Halloween Knight will make his tournament debut and faces tough opposition against Big Bryan Bastard, who put his FWA North American Championship on the line in the tournament. The champion will no doubt be hoping to send a message to the rest of the field as he faces one third of Tr1ck or Tr4sh.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “There are two more tournament debuts over in Pool A, with Konchu Hao and Xperienx Xtacee ready to face off. Both are fresh from disappointment at Winter Wasteland, and will hope to gather some much-needed momentum as they start their respective F1 campaigns.”
Rod Sterling: “We’ll also see the much-awaited test for Xavien Marshall, who has burst onto the scene here in the FWA, claiming the Gunfight One Ring along with the World Tag Team Championships, alongside Jay Kenny. Tonight, he’ll return to singles action to face Chris Peacock, a man who tussled with the Birmingham Cleveland Violence Department over those titles not too long ago.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “When will we see that, Rod?”
Rod Sterling: “Right now, Anzu!”
There is some initial excitement for the 2024 F1 Climaxxx tournament getting underway, but this dissipates slightly when the first competitor comes out. Xavien Marshall slowly walks out from the back with a sinister look on his face and his FWA World Tag Team Championship over his shoulder. There is an assured aura around him and he looks briefly over his shoulder. Jay Kenny bops out, wearing his championship around his waist and with Thomas Princeton in his ear as usual.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: “The following contest is an F1 Climaxxx Pool B match, scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first, accompanied by Jay Kenny and Thomas Princeton… he is one half of the FWA World Tag Team Champions, XAVIEN MARRRRRSSSHALLLLLL!!!”
Rod Sterling: “The dark horse for the entire tournament if you ask me, Anzu. Xavien Marshall is undefeated and sitting pretty as one half of the tag champions with young Jay Kenny… and don’t forget that Gunfight One Ring he has in the back, granting him a shot at the X Championship in the future.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “Definitely the in-form man here in the FWA, Rod. Couldn’t better timed coming into this tournament, with with the Birmingham Cleveland Violence Department retaining their championships at Winter Wasteland against two sets of former champions, FTN and Dark Roads Alliance.”
Rod Sterling: “Exactly, and there’s going to be a very motivated Chris Peacock waiting for Xavien tonight as a result of that.”
Marshall enters the ring and Kenny waits on the outside of the ring under Princeton’s instruction and he and Marshall share a brief nod. Looking around the Sports Palace, Marshall waits for his opponent.
Whilst not overwhelmingly positive, there are more fans than usual seemingly in support of Chris Peacock. However, there is no positivity in the face of the former FWA World Champion as he strides down the ramp towards the ring. Peacock’s physical condition seems to have improved as he boasts some extra muscles which he shows off in a black vest.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: “His opponent, from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in at two-hundred and ten pounds… ‘Disco’s Last Warrior’ CHRIS PEAAACCOOOOOCKKK!!!”
Rod Sterling: “It is safe to say that things have not exactly been going Chris Peacock’s way and he didn’t seem interested in participating in the press conference ahead of the F1 Climaxxx getting started-”
Anzu Kurosawa: “I don’t think Peacock wants to wait to fight either- HE’S GONE STRAIGHT FOR XAVIEN MARSHALL!”
The smugness is wiped from Marshall’s face when Peacock charges at him and puts him on the mat with a Double Leg Takedown! The referee - DJ Franchise - panics when he sees the fight breaking out between them and calls for the bell!
FIRST MATCH || 1/20.
Chris Peacock vs. Xavien Marshall.
Singles Match - F1 Climaxxx Pool B.
Match writer: Man.
Peacock and Marshall roll around on the mat as they look to get the advantage on the other. Marshall kicks his leg up and this allows him to push Peacock off of him. However as soon as Marshall is back on his feet, Peacock charges at him and cracks him in the face with a running forearm. This puts Marshall back in the corner, and Peacock begins to tag him with body shots and then performs a Headlock Takeover to bring him back into the ring. With Marshall’s head trapped, Peacock is able to land some more punches to the top of his head.
DJ Franchise breaks things up as Marshall’s feet are on the ropes and he has to prise Peacock away from Marshall. The former world champion lines up Xavien as he rises from the mat and gets next to the ropes… and Peacock charges in… Clotheslining Marshall over the top rope and down to the floor!
Rod Sterling: “Hot start from Peacock here in Hanoi! I don’t think we’ve seen anyone take it to Marshall like this since he arrived here in the FWA.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “This is a man with a lot of anger inside of him and issues to work through. I think the floor could be the best place for Marshall at the moment - create a bit of space and allow the match to reset. Frustrate Peacock by keeping himself away.”
There is a stony expression on Jay Kenny’s face as he watches his tag team partner pick himself up. Princeton stays mainly quiet save for a couple of words of encouragement towards Marshall. These however are powerless as Peacock dives through the ropes and wipes Marshall out! Xavien is sent barrelling into the barricade, and Peacock stands over him for a moment.
Chris does his best to ignore Jay Kenny but they lock eyes for a moment, with the Birmingham native not showing any intimidation. Peacock shakes his head and picks Marshall up, rolling him back into the ring. He glances back at Kenny once again after he has done this. There are no words exchanged, but Peacock raises an eyebrow when he sees Kenny staring him out. Taking one hand off the ropes, Peacock steps closer to Kenny and gets in front of him.
“Something you want to say, little boy?”
Kenny remains silent and Peacock smirks, “That’s what I thought. Look pretty and watch the grown ups fight like the little bitch you are.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “Peacock shooting from the hip… but really his thoughts should be elsewhere.”
That remark definitely triggered a reaction in Kenny, and he goes to follow up on Peacock after the latter has turned away to get back into the ring. Thomas Princeton is required to step in in order to keep Kenny at bay, and can be heard telling Jay that Peacock isn’t worth it. Once Peacock is back in the ring, he sees how much he has riled up Jay Kenny and loudly calls back, “That’s right, listen to daddy! Fuck off you little-”
DECAPITATOR FROM MARSHALL TO THE BACK OF PEACOCK’S HEAD!!! Peacock turned his back on his opponent and paid for it! Chris attempts to push himself back up from the mat, but his eyes are shown to be almost completely glazed over from the blow to the back of his head courtesy of Xavien’s massive Lariat. Things go from bad to worse for Peacock though as Marshall pins his arms behind his back… AND DRIVES HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH THE DEBT COLLECTOR!!! There is a surprised awe around from the crowd as Marshall flips Peacock over;
ONE… TWO… THREE!!!
Winner: Xavien Marshall via pin fall at 02:42.
The music plays loudly once again, and for a moment even Xavien Marshall is shocked by what has just transpired. A flicker of a stunned expression is soon replaced by an assured smirk and he is soon joined by Kenny and Princeton. Kenny stares down Peacock on the mat, standing over him in triumph whilst Princeton gives Marshall a nod for a job well done.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: “Here is your winner, XAVIEN MARSHALL!!”
Rod Sterling: “I know that we thought Chris Peacock would have had his hands full here tonight with this newcomer, but I don’t think we were expecting the former World Champion to lose in less than three minutes! Two-forty-two on my watch! Xavien Marshall takes advantage of a very out of sorts Peacock to take the advantage in Pool B. That could be a very important win in the context of this tournament.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “Marshall was the debt collector and made Peacock pay the price for taking his eye off of the ball. Peacock was too preoccupied with Jay Kenny and winding up Xavien’s partner… and now he’s already behind the 8 ball in Pool B.”
In the ring, the victor stands back and leans against the turnbuckle to get his arm raised by the official. On the other side of the ring, Kenny stands over Peacock still, who just about returns to a state of awareness. Kenny can be heard shouting down at him, “WHO’S THE BITCH NOW, BRUV! CALL ME BITCH NOW! I DARE YOU, BRUV!”
Peacock does not even get a chance to before he has Kenny on top of him, raining down punches on his head. Given the history between Princeton and Peacock, Kenny’s manager is in no rush to stop him from adding injury to the insult and initial injury. Jay lifts Peacock up and delivers a series of crossface punches to the former champion, and some of the crowd begin to boo, whilst there are some who seem to be enjoying watching Peacock take a beating.
Anzu Kurosawa: “I think Princeton knew that Kenny would be facing Xavien’s wrath had he cost him the match, but now it doesn’t matter. Kenny has a FWA World Championship #1 Contendership contest this Saturday on Fallout and he’s sending a message to his fellow competitors there by going after the former champion… here’s The Zulu.”
Easily transitioning into his Rear Naked Choke, Kenny attempts to drain the life out of Peacock, with Princeton now actively cheering him on. Chris’s eyes start to close as he drifts off… and the lights go out!
Rod Sterling: “What’s going on?!”
A big cheer goes up as the music starts to play and the lights return to normal… and ALYSTER BLACK IS ON THE STAGE! In the ring, Jay Kenny releases Peacock as he was on the brink of passing out. Black assesses the scene in front of him… AND SPRINTS DOWN TO THE RING!!
Anzu Kurosawa: “We weren’t sure when we would be seeing Alyster Black again, but he’s here in Hanoi!”
Black slides into the ring and whilst Kenny wants to fight, Thomas Princeton grabs him and almost throws him out of the ring himself. Xavien Marshall nonchalantly exits the ring as well and the two tag champions meet at the bottom of the ramp. Alyster watches as they back away with Princeton doing everything he can to hold Kenny off, reminding him about his big match on Fallout. Black points to the champions, specifically the titles that they are holding.
Rod Sterling: “Well, I think Alyster Black wants some gold back around his waist and he wants it to be the tag championships he held with Chris Peacock last year! Peacock should consider himself lucky that his FTN partner was here to have his back… and I think he does.”
With BCVD at the top of the ramp, Black turns to Peacock, who leans against the bottom turnbuckle. The look on Peacock’s face is one of utter confusion, as if he does not believe that his best friend is here. He questions it, and Black nods his head before extending a hand. Peacock holds the back of his head as he accepts Black’s help to his feet and then quickly brings Alyster in for a hug. Peacock hides his face as much as he can, concealing his emotions. They break the hug off and Chris wipes his eyes. Together, FTN cast their gaze towards Kenny and Marshall.
Anzu Kurosawa: “BCVD have to contest with Chris Crowe and Randy Ramon at Fight Night in a few weeks, but it looks like FTN could be waiting for the winners of that one… and given what we just saw with Peacock and the champions, this one could be a whole lot more personal.”
Princeton leads Jay Kenny away but Xavien Marshall lingers for a moment, before holding up two fingers to indicate the number of wins he has over FTN members.
Earlier this week…
We see our masked friends known as Sir Stache and Mejor Amigo walking down the not so bustling sidewalks of downtown Brunswick, GA. But what could they possibly be up to?
Mejor Amigo: “So what are we doing here anyway, my friend? Shouldn’t we be getting ready for Fallout? We want to have a big fiesta for Jeremy, no?”
Ah, even our polite luchador was unsure about the nature of their visit to this city on the coast of Georgia, nearly five hours from their normal Friendship Wrestling Alliance headquarters.
Sir Stache: “That’s why we are here!
Amigo tilted his head curiously.
Mejor Amigo: “I’m afraid I do not understand.”
Sir Stache: “We want this to be a huge celebration for Jeremy right? We want to it to be a party like no other. Well, what does every party worth anything gotta have?”
Mejor: [color=#7f6000“Pin the tail on the burro?”[/b][/color]
Sir Stache: “No.. not that.”
Mejor Amigo: “A pinata?”
Sir Stache: “No… well, yes, let’s also get one of those. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”
Mejor Amigo paused and contemplated but ultimately shrugged his shoulders.
Mejor Amigo: “I don’t know. Just tell me, amigo!”
Sir Stache: “A magician of course!”
Mejor Amigo: “Oh… of course! Silly me. But wait, to be sure there was someone in Atlanta. Why drive five hours?”
Sir Stache: “Look, do we want some city magician for Jeremy?”
Mejor Amigo: “Uhh… is there a difference.”
Sir Stache shook his head with disappointment.
Sir Stache: “You still have so much to learn, Amigo. No! We want the best for Jeremy. The best magician money can buy!”
Mejor Amigo: “Are you sure Bryan is okay with us spending his money on this?”
Sir Stache: “He told me to just handle it so I took that as a yes!”
Sir Stache comes to a stop outside of an unassuming door with a magic wand logo placed upon it and underneath the wand was the name of the business, "Littl' Miss Magic". Stache poked the buzzer next to a speaker by the door.
???: “Yes, who is it?”
Mejor Amigo: “Shouldn’t she know we were coming. She can tell the future, right?”
Sir Stache: “She’s a magician, not a fortune teller, Amigo. I swear, I can’t go anywhere with you!”
Mejor Amigo: “Oh dear. Many apologies.”
???: “Hellooooooo? I swear to God if you kids are ding dong ditchin’ me again, I’m gonna pull a rabbit outta something besides a hat…”
Sir Stache: “Oh, sorry, no. We’re here to see Tonya Scott.”
???: “Do you have an appointment?”
Sir Stache: “Well no… but…”
???: “Then I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
Sir Stache: “But we do have money.”
The sound of the door unlocking could be heard.
???: “Step right in.”
As Stache and Amigo step into the building, we fade out.
Walking out onto the stage, through a steady cloud of smoke, are two people wearing pink, glittery, skin-tight full body suits. The back of one suit says Antonio in white and the back of the other says Monica in white. They each hold one furry cone shaped object in their hands as they slowly move and vibe to the music while standing on either side of the entryway. After a few seconds, out saunters Xperienx Xtacee, looking as flashy as ever in a purple tuxedo and faux-fur overcoat, with a matching velvet cloak and holding a rhinestone-encrusted cane. He motions Monica and Antonio with the cane, signaling them to come over and kiss him on either cheek. Xtacee puts on a very satisfied smile and holds his cane with both hands, pointing it in front of him, as Monica and Antonio stand at his side and point the furry cones at him. In unison, Xperienx Xtacee thrusts with the cane as his lovers tap the back of the cones, causing golden confetti to come shooting out of all three objects.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a Pool A contest in the 2024 F1 Climaxxx, scheduled for one-fall and with a twenty minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, side-by-side with his lovers Monica and Antonio, hailing from The Right Side of the Bed in Las Vegas, Nevada, and weighing in at a lean 180 pounds, Xperienx Xtacee!"
Now in the ring, Antonio grabs Xtacee’s cane and slides it out of his hand before leaving the ring. Monica removes Xtacee’s cloak and top before also leaving the ring. Xperienx goes into the corner and sits atop the turnbuckle with a flirtatious smile on his face as he stares down the entryway.
The reaction is mostly boisterously positive for the next competitor, who appears on stage with an associate of his own in the form of a faithful, rambunctious, and incoherent minion. ‘The Mad Wizard’ surveys the crowd approvingly before beginning a march towards the ring.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Epsilon… weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds… ‘the Mad Wizard’... KONCHU HAO!"
Rod Sterling: "As Katie informed us, we’re seeing the beginning of action in Pool A of the F1 Climaxxx here, with both Konchu Hao and Xperienx Xtacee hoping to make a successful start to their respective campaigns."
Anzu Kurosawa: "Both are looking to bounce back from championship disappointment at Winter Wasteland, with Hao unable to recapture the FWA World Tag Team Championships from Jay Kenny and Xavien Marshall, and Xtacee on the losing side in the FWA Trios Championships match."
Rod Sterling: "Singles action will be an entirely different prospect though, Anzu. Or, at least, the two men currently in the ring will be hoping it is…"
Hao and Xtacee are in opposite corners, the official conducting his final checks before calling for the opening bell…
SECOND MATCH || 1/20.
Xperienx Xtacee vs. Konchu Hao.
Singles Match - F1 Climaxxx Pool A.
Match writer: SS.
<< 00:00. >>
The initial feeling out process consists of the two coming together for a collar and elbow tie up, but with XX slipping beneath Konchu’s grasp and behind, before hitting him in the derriere with a dropkick. Hao stumbles forward from the move and towards the corner, but stops himself before hitting the turnbuckle chest-first by grasping the top rope. He senses XX charging in from behind and counters the attempted clothesline with a back elbow, sending X stumbling into the middle of the ring.
Rod Sterling: "Xtacee shakes loose the cobwebs as Konchu strides towards him, looking to connect with a savate kick, but X is able to once more duck beneath the strike…"
Anzu Kurosawa: "… and then he connects with a jumping hurricanrana!! The crowd pops for the show of athleticism from Xperienx Xtacee!!"
With us still in the early stages, Konchu is able to immediately climb back to his feet, but when he does he finds Xperienx waiting for him. Xtacee doubles Hao over with a boot to the midsection before taking him over with a snap suplex! Konchu is slightly slower to rise this time, so Xperienx helps him out by grasping his wrist and yanking him up to his feet. Xperienx maintains wrist control…
Anzu Kurosawa: "Wrist-clutch back suplex!! Konchu lands at an ugly angle!"
Rod Sterling: "This one might be over already!! Xtacee hooks the leg…"
ONE… TWO… T – NO!
Konchu throws a shoulder up and, as Xtacee rises, quickly rolls out of the ring, where he receives some inaudible (and unintelligible, anyway) words of advice from Epsilon…
***
<< 05:00. >>
We return to the match with XX maintaining control, wearing Konchu down with a side headlock. Hao, though, has willed himself back up to his feet, and now tries to escape by connecting with some elbows to the ribs. Xtacee clings on, so Hao changed tact, forcing his opponent into the ropes and hoping to throw him into the opposite set. Xperienx is a stubborn customer, though, going down to a knee and refusing to break his hold! The audience cheer both the resolution from Xperienx and the resistance from Hao, which the Mad Wizard seems to seize upon. He throws his arms around Xtacee’s waist…
Anzu Kurosawa: "BACKDROP DRIVER!!! It's Konchu's turn to plant Xperienx on the back of his head!!!"
Rod Sterling: "That is precisely the shift in momentum that the Mad Wizard needed!"
Konchu doesn’t go for a cover, instead recovering in a corner, stalking Xtacee as he rises to his feet. He backs Xperienx up to the ropes with a series of Mongolian chops, before Irish whipping him into the opposite set…
Anzu Kurosawa: "SAVATE KICK!! Konchu lands it this time, and immediately sinks into a cover…"
ONE… TWO… T – NO!
Xperienx kicks out! Konchu, still recovering from the lengthy Xtacee offensive at the start of the match, elects to slap on a reverse chin lock…
***
<< 09:13. >>
After a delayed vertical suplex, Konchu drags XX back up to his feet in a reverse facelock, pulling him into the center of the ring. He appears ready to drop Xtacee with an inverted DDT, but Xtacee throws a knee up into Hao’s head! Then a second! The third forces Hao to relinquish…
Rod Sterling: "An unorthodox counter there from Xtacee, but he’s succeeded in
gaining some separation…"
Anzu Kurosawa: "Xtaxee follows up with jabs and hooks, lefts and rights! Hao is backed up into the corner, trying to throw up a guard…"
Rod Sterling: "But Xperienx wrenches the guard free… arm-trapped neckbreaker!! More innovative offense from Xperienx Xtacee!!"
Anzu Kurosawa: "And it seems the Sensual Enigma is about to take things to the high rent district!!"
Indeed, Xperienx starts his ascent towards the top turnbuckle whilst Konchu struggles up to his feet. Xtacee’s progress is slowed by fatigue, but eventually he manages to steady himself up high…
Rod Sterling: "Xperienx Xtacee looking for the cross-body… incredible hang-time!"
Anzu Kurosawa: "But Konchu meets him with a vicious roaring elbow!!! Incredible anti-air!!"
If Xtacee isn’t out already, the Mad Wizard finishes the job. He grabs Xtacee by the wrist, puts him into position with a ripcord, and then flattens him with Rasputin’s Revenge! A lateral press follows.
ONE… TWO… THREE!
Winner: Konchu Hao via pinfall at 12:04.
Konchu Hao takes a few deep breaths before rising to his feet, the official lifting his arm in victory.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "Here is your winner… the Mad Wizard… KONCHU HAO!"
A cheer greets Konchu as Epsilon joins him in the ring, the masked man nodding his head at his companion, the journey started successfully.
Rod Sterling: "Konchu Hao is off the mark in Pool A, picking up the first two points available at the expense of Xperienx Xtacee."
On the screen, the standings are shown following the first match of this half of the tournament.
Anzu Kurosawa: "We’ll see if either Michelle von Horrowitz or Mike Parr can join the Mad Wizard in tonight’s main event, but first we’ll return to Pool B action for the FWA North American Champion’s first match of the tournament…"
Konchu leaves up the ramp with Epsilon scurrying close behind as we fade to black.
Sewing Reality: Unraveling the TORN Universe
[THE FOLLOWING OUT OF CHARACTER INTERVIEW SERIES WAS FILMED PRIOR TO ELIZABETH ROSE BECOMING A MEMBER OF "ETERNAL". ALL THOSE INVOLVED WITH THE TORN UNIVERSE WOULD LIKE IT TO BE KNOWN THAT THIS INTERVIEW SERIES HAS NO IMPACT ON THE IN-CHARACTER/IN-UNIVERSE WORLD OF THE FWA]
Episode 1: Origins
An opening video package begins to play at the start of a television show. This video package shows the long and varied history of the TORN Universe, Eternal, Keres, Princess Nova, Elizabeth Rose, Slate Bass, Eden, and all those that have ever been involved with both in some way. Flashes of different lives, different matches, different skits, different videos, different worlds, and different companies all come across the video feed. The opening video package ends by showing Keres on screen snapping her fingers, which causes the title “Sewing Reality: Unraveling the TORN Universe” to appear on the feed.
The title card fades away as the image of a woman sitting behind a desk fades in. This woman has dark skin, black hair tied into a long ponytail, and wears a very nice gray pantsuit. She smiles at the camera as it slowly zooms in to frame her upper half in the middle of the view and stops after it achieves the proper positioning. She moves her arms in a very precise manner as she speaks, emphasizing her stellar level of professionalism.
“Hello viewers of all shapes, sizes, types, and ages. For those of you that aren’t familiar with me and my show; my name is Cameron Lewis.”
She picks up a stack of cards from her desk and shows the logo on the back to the camera.
“And this is ‘Lights, Cameron, Action’, where we get behind the characters and get all the information you want to know from your favorite sports entertainers from around the globe. This is as real as it gets.”
The lights dim to a shade of purple as Cameron evens out her stack of cards.
“Today begins the first episode of a multi-part series on what might be one of the most creative, unique, enigmatic, and mysterious gimmicks, story, and universe that professional wrestling has ever seen. The TORN Universe has been around for years, yet it remains engulfed in a shadowy veil that was expertly sewn together by the family who guides and waters the roots of its story, the Bassignani family. Not much is known of the Bassignani family outside of the wrestling bubble besides the small bits of information available to the public or what they have allowed to be known. In this first episode, we will be talking to the patriarch and matriarch of the Bassignani family, the two original characters in this universe, and breaking down the origins of the fascinating horror show we have seen them develop.”
Cameron stands up from her desk and walks over to a set of chairs. The chairs are arranged in a semi-circle and all face one other chair that is set up for Cameron.
“I would like to welcome my first guest. He has gone by many names and worn many faces. From the “Head Pimp in Charge” to the “TORN Warrior”, from heart-breaking to literal heart-stopping, this man was an absolute monster of a competitor and creative force during his time in the ring. Nowadays he spends his time as a father and occasionally you can see him as a part of a tree, please welcome Slate Bassignani otherwise known as the ‘TORN’ Slate Bass.”
The classic entrance video of Slate Bass pops up on a screen at the back of the stage as his haunting theme music “Monsters” by Ruelle plays. A fit, well-dressed man that looks almost like the twin of FWA’s own Nova Diamond walks onto the stage. He smiles and exchanges verbal pleasantries with Cameron Lewis as the two shake hands. Slate Bass takes a seat across from Cameron as she herself sits in the lone chair away from the others.
“Let me first say that it is such a joy to have you here. Someone like you finally making an out of character appearance is such a huge moment, and I’m glad you and your family have decided to share it with me and my audience.”
Slate Bass lets out a flattered and amused laugh.
“Cameron, the pleasure is all mine. We could have gone with anyone, literally anyone at all, including some people already in the FWA, but we had to choose you. We appreciate hard work and people that are coming up in the world, especially those that are striving to be unique. There was no show better or more fitting than yours.”
“You saying that means so much to me, you have no idea, Mr. Bassignani.”
“Please, just call me Slate. No need for a ‘Mr.’ or even a ‘sir’, or any of that. That’s the character, I myself am just Slate.”
“It was very surprising to me to learn that Slate is your real name. It’s definitely not something you ever really see on a birth certificate or hear when you’re out and about. Then of course your last name is just an actual extension of your character’s name. Tell me a little about that to start off.”
“Right you are, Slate is absolutely not a normal name, hahaha. So, my parents, bless their hearts for being the creator of me and my insanity, were two very eccentric people. They were very wealthy and loved the arts, theater, music, movies, and other things like that. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree and my name is an example of that. They didn’t want their son to be anything ordinary, they wanted their son to be something, or someone, special. They saw the name as an opportunity to ensure that I always had freedom, that I always had a path, that I always had a ‘blank slate’ of a canvas to paint my life however I wanted. I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were successful with their intentions.”
Cameron shuffles with her cards slightly as Slate ends his thought before she herself begins speaking.
“They certainly were. And sticking with the subject of your name and their intentions, I always assumed that the idea of a ‘blank slate’ played heavily into the TORN Universe you created. It always seemed like whenever anyone outside of your main family or main cast was roped into that world, it acted as a sort of way to reset them, so to speak, and become something different and often better or more refreshing. Is my assumption accurate?”
“Well, well, well, someone certainly knows her stuff, I appreciate that a lot. So you aren’t too far off the mark. The TORN Universe, for as complex as it is, really boils down to the simple idea of telling a fairytale. And what does every fairytale have, Cameron?”
“Well, if my childhood taught me anything, every fairytale has hardship, a sad story, and a character that fights their way to a ‘happily ever after’ moment.”
“Precisely. It is about chasing that ‘happily ever after’, but who’s to say what that actually is? It can be different for every character, it can be different in every story, and does it necessarily need to actually end with the character ending up where the observer wants them to be? Everyone wanted to see Cinderella ride off into the sunset with the prince after the ball. But all she ever wanted to do was leave her horrible family, right? The prince and the ball were meant to be a means to an end, not necessarily where she wanted to actually end her story. What if Cinderella ran away from that wonderful ball in the end and instead went on to run a successful business? Likewise, what if Cinderella went on to run a powerful army and take over the land of make believe with an iron fist? What if she simply ran away from that town at the end of story, forgot about her old life, and lived in her own shack by the water away from everyone else where she was free to do anything she could want? What if one of those things were her ‘happily ever after’ instead of running off with the prince? Remember, she just wanted to escape her family and lead a better life. Her life just so happened to be sewn that way, and she happened to be happy with it.”
“I sense a little bit of a similarity between what you just said and the story arc that your original character went on.”
Slate Bass puts on a bit of an embarrassed smile and the two share a short laugh as Cameron continues.
“Your original gimmick, the ‘Head Pimp in Charge’ was a very showboat-y, flashy, cocky, funky, Italian douchebag to say the least.”
“You are not wrong whatsoever, hahaha.”
“He was the owner of a club, perhaps involved in organized crime and the mafia, very full of himself, yet very respectful to women. Actually, he might be on the more positive side of the spectrum, but there are a few similarities between that old gimmick and current FWA talent Xperienx Xtacee, have you two met?”
“No, we have not, but I will say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and I love what that kid has been doing and I look forward to seeing the lofty heights he reaches.”
“Oh yes, he has a bright future. But as I was saying, the ‘happily ever after’ for that character ended up being a version of himself where he was, well, torn away from what he was. He became a machine, a monster, and an incredibly diabolical surgeon in the ring. He was completely broken down to nothing and built back up on the dark side, but that ended up being exactly what he needed. It made him a better, more methodical, and much more caring man, even though he was arguably one of the most terrifying figures possible.”
“The ‘TORN Warrior’ was a fairytale turned on its head. It was ‘what if the bad man became a good man but stayed a bad guy?’, and then that man became a husband, and that husband became a father. What if he found something in the world that he cared more about than himself? What if he no longer saw the value in the blatant flaunting of flashy things but kept them as an effortless symbol of power and intimidation? What if he became whole by completely shredding away everything that made him the insecure, rich, little man that he was? And then what if he, with another powerful force by his side, was able to create something that could do that for everyone else by any means necessary? And again, what if his ‘happily ever after’ wasn’t what anyone else wanted for him, but it was what he felt he needed? And then all of that could make sure it happened perpetually to more and more people to make them a fully realized version of what they are.”
“It’s really something that seems so out of the ordinary and weird, but when you explain it like that, it sort of seems poetic in a way. Not everything is black and white, there are shades of gray, who can say what is good and what is evil, maybe it even goes beyond those two surface level concepts entirely. The idea of the TORN Universe really does come from a place of deep planning and care and precise storytelling. You also mentioned that it wasn’t a one-person show, and I assume you’re alluding to our next guest on ‘Lights, Cameron, Action’, right?”
“You’d be spot on with that assumption!”
“With that being said, please welcome the woman some might say caused their nightmares, while others might say she was the woman of their dreams, Eden Martinelli-Bassignani or better known simply as the ‘Seamstress of Reality’ Eden.”
Eden’s classic entrance video now plays on the screen in the back as the eerie song ‘You Can Run’ by Adam Jones plays. Onto the stage comes a heavily tattooed woman with long jet-black hair. She is wearing a sparkling black dress and black heels. She walks over to Cameron Lewis and gives her a big smile along with a hug before going to her seat next to Slate Bass.
“Eden, thank you for coming to the show. You look sinfully beautiful as always.”
“Oh, stop Cameron, no need to butter me up like that, I’m already all yours.”
Slate Bass, Eden, and Cameron Lewis all share a laugh.
“But in all seriousness, it’s lovely to be here and to finally let some fans into our world.”
“So let’s get a little more into that. From my understanding, you two did put a little bit of your real life into the TORN Universe, can we get a little more detail on that?”
“Of course. So, like you and my husband talked about earlier, we actually are the owners of a few clubs in Los Angeles, we do both come from affluent Italian families, and we are married both in story and real life. We do also actually have a child together, Keres, who we incorporated into our creative endeavors.”
“And from my brief conversation with you when we were setting all of this up, to have you all on the show, you explained to me that Slate and yourself have known one another for much longer than you make it seem in storyline.”
“Yup, that’s also true. Our families go way back, we’ve known each other since we were children. We always sort of had eyes on each other, you know the usual stuff with kids, the teasing, the joking around, annoying each other and pretending that we’re both icky.”
Once again, all three of them laugh.
“But yes, we were always destined to be together, I guess. We’ve been madly in love for years now and we decided to put our marriage, and the idea of destiny or fate into what we created.”
Slate Bass and Eden share a quick kiss much to the joy of Cameron Lewis, who lets out an ‘awww’.
“You two really are a great couple. Like, goals, if I do say so myself. So, with that little bit of your relationship aside, I wanted to pick your brain a little bit. From what Slate told me, you are also a huge part of the TORN Universe, and I would love to know in what ways you have let your vision flow into that world.”
“Well, for starters, the name itself. We struggled to find a name for this whole idea for the longest time. It’s so intricate and mysterious and otherworldly, so it needed a name that checked all those boxes. Something that seemed weird and out of place but fit perfectly and explained everything with just a simple label. We didn’t want it to be too long either, so we settled on the TORN Universe as an acronym.”
“Wait, hold up, an acronym? TORN stands for something? Well consider me intrigued, please continue Eden.”
“So yeah, that’s something that pretty much nobody ever realized. We were always very particular with TORN being entirely spelled in capitalized letters and then Universe just being spelled normally with a capital letter U. Nobody ever questioned why TORN was meant to be spelled in all caps, but yeah, it does stand for something. Nowadays the meaning of the letters is less important and less impactful than the word TORN itself, and we’ve kinda just ran with it staying capitalized since that’s the way it’s always been and will always stay.”
“So, and I completely understand if you want to keep the secret, but maybe you can give me a huge exclusive here on ‘Lights, Cameron, Action’, and tell me, what does TORN actually stand for?”
Eden and Slate look at one another with amused looks on their faces before mutually agreeing by giving a ‘why not’ sort of face.
“I think this is something that we can tell now, enough time has passed where it can make sense and not reveal too much of the magic we have going on, right Eden?”
“Yes. So, what TORN Universe actually stands for is ‘The Ongoing Rebirth Narrative’ Universe. Which means that the Universe itself, and the characters within or surrounding it, are in a constant cycle of rebirth, reimagining, reworking, or any other type of change that you can think of. It’s about evolving what is and making it into something better than it was or at least building on top of it to make something more out of it. Constantly improving situations and making the performers, and the story, better coming out the other side in some way. That acronym meaning is something that nobody other than I and Slate knew, until now.”
“So, wait, you’re telling me that even the other two main players in this whole thing, Nova and Keres, never knew what those letters stood for?”
“Mostly no. They understood what the idea is, what the purpose of everything is, and how everything works, but the actual words ‘The Ongoing Rebirth Narrative’ were never explicitly said to them at any time. Not saying that at the time was part of our whole intention, we wanted everything to be left to interpretation and under a cloud of intrigue, including to anyone else that is playing a part within our world. It makes everything much more natural and organic.”
“That’s some really profound and creative stuff, like, it’s definitely not something I would have thought of or have ever even seen before really.”
“We like to think that professional wrestling, or sports entertainment, can be so much greater than most people think it’s capable of. As we say in the TORN Universe, we want it to reach its true potential.”
“Speaking of true potential, on the second episode of ‘Sewing Reality: Unraveling the TORN Universe’ which will be titled ‘ReNovated’, we are going to welcome the first person to be truly impacted by the TORN Universe, the first member of The Residence and one part of Eternal, Alexis Taylor, aka the “TORN Angel” Princess Nova, along with a special little surprise! See you next time on ‘Lights, Cameron, Action’, goodbye everyone!”
Slate Bass, Eden, and Cameron Lewis all wave at the camera as it zooms out and the feed fades away.
Somewhere deep in the hallways backstage...
...in a random dark utility closet...
...are two girls, sitting around a bunch of spooky lit candles.
Blair Ravenwood: Thank you for meeting me here sister.
Celestia Ravenwood: Of course sister, it's been too long since we've had one of our meetings. I've missed the bleach and dirty mop water smell.
Blair Ravenwood: The mop water does make for good potions.
Celestia Ravenwood: Don't tell Trixie that's how we make the Jolly Rancher one.
Blair and Celestia giggle before suddenly, Blair gets serious.
Blair Ravenwood: But, on a serious note sister...it's time.
Celestia looks at Blair confused.
Celestia Ravenwood: What do you mean it's time?
Blair Ravenwood: Kleio De Santos.
Celestia Ravenwood: Our fearless leader!
Blair Ravenwood: ...and now no longer with the TV Championship. We've now won the Trios Championships before her first title, and kept them longer. And who's it thanks to? Not Kleio. We were a trio for what, a year? And what success did we have? None. Then the two of us and a little girl win the belts with no help from Kleio at all. Honestly Blair...answer me this...what use does Kleio have to us at this point? Her decisions are getting us nowhere. I am in the planning stages right now, slowly putting pieces together. We're going to need support though. We definitely will need Ethel and Trixie on our side...but we may have to reach out to outsiders too...
Celestia Ravenwood: Sister...what you're talking about...even if I did agree with you, there is way too much dark magic in play here. Curses, enchantments...taking Kleio down as leader of our Coven would not be an easy task.
Blair Ravenwood: What do you mean, "even if I did agree with you"? You do agree with me, right?
Celestia doesn't respond. There's an awkward silence in the closet for a moment before Blair breaks it.
Blair Ravenwood: I'll let you think about your answer sister. But know this, I'm not holding off on this anymore. This is happening, so...choose carefully whose side you want to be on, sister.
With that, Blair walks out of the closet.
When she slams the door behind her, the candles are blown out.
Leaving Celestia alone in the dark.
There’s a big reaction for the man in the skeleton suit as he walks out from the back. The Halloween Knight seems to enjoy the reaction from the crowd, playing to crowd from the stage.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit and is part of the F1 Climaxxx Tournament! Introducing first, from Torreon, Mexico, weighing in at two hundred twenty one pounds, representing Tr1ck or Tr4sh… THE HHHAAAALLLLLLOOOOWWEEEEN KKKKKKKKKNNNIGGGHHHT!”
Anzu Kurosawa: “The Halloween Knight has earned himself quite a few fans in recent weeks as part of the fun trios team of Tr1ck or Tr4sh.”
Rod Sterling: “Who would’ve thought the loveable tag team from Ground Zero would come up to FWA and find themselves undefeated in both tag team and now trios action with the addition of Juan Tothrefor. It’s that success in the tag team and trios divisions that has earned Halloween Knight an invitation into the F1.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “But this will be his first foray into singles action and as we saw last year, the F1 competition is intense. He’s going straight into the frying pan here tonight. And that’s before we even bring up who his opponent is…”
Halloween Knight to his credit does not seem at first glance to be intimidated by the moment though. His stance as he walks down to the ring and climbs through the ropes portrays confidence. He stretches out his arms, warming up as he awaits his opponent.
The cheers in the arena quickly turn to boos as the FWA North American champion walks out from the back, his face disgusted by the reaction from the fans. But he is quick to pull back his red letterman “BASTARD” jacket to reveal his championship around his waist.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: “And his opponent… from Hickory, North Carolina, weighing in at three hundred twelve pounds, representing the Friendship Wrestling Alliance… he is the current FWA North American Champion…. BIG BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRYAN BBBBBAAAAAAAAASSSSTARD!”
Rod Sterling: “Last year Big Bryan Bastard had quite the run in this F1 Climaxxx. It’s where he won that FWA North American championship and remained undefeated in the tournament until being defeated by Michelle von Horrowitz in the semi-finals. Bryan has been bitter about it ever since and is seeking redemption in this year’s tournament.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “And he’s so confident that he’s going to do just that, that he’s putting his title up for the winner of the overall F1. So while each individual match won’t be for the title, there’s a lot more pressure on Bryan to make sure he makes it to the end if he wants to keep that title that he’s so close to breaking the record of on length.”
Rod Sterling: ”Bryan has to keep focused on the match at hand here, because he could easily be looking past Halloween Knight, especially when he has a record setting defense against Mike Parr just around the corner as well.”
Baxter makes his way down to the ring, locking eyes with Halloween Knight before climbing in. He is all business as he removes his jacket and the belt, handing them off to ringside, ready to get this match started.
THIRD MATCH || 1/20.
Big Bryan Bastard vs. Halloween Knight.
Singles Match - F1 Climaxxx Pool B.
Match writer: Dubb.
<< 00:00. >>
The bell rings to kick the match off. Bryan Bastard and the Halloween Knight circle the ring, feeling each other out before they move in for the collar and elbow lock up. Knight manages to hold his own against the mighty Bastard, but after some jockeying for position, it’s Bastard who gets the upperhand, pulling Knight into a side headlock. However, Knight manages to shove Baxter off, sending the champion into the ropes, but BBB comes off the ropes and shoulder tackles Knight, sending the masked man down to the mat.
Knight rolls to his knees quickly as a confident Baxter extends his arms, taunting the luchador and earning some boos from the crowd.
Rod Sterling: “Halloween Knight is no pushover in the size department, especially for a luchador, but he just ran into the freight train that is Bryan Bastard.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “I’m just surprised we didn’t get a prematch beatdown like the Bastard likes to do so often.”
Knight pulls himself back up as Baxter moves in for a right hand, but Knight dodges the punch and runs to the ropes himself. Coming off the ropes, BBB attempts to clothesline the spooky skeleton, but Knight ducks, comes back off the ropes again and hits Baxter with a running dropkick! Bryan is only staggered but Knight comes right back in with another dropkick, this time a standing dropkick that once again sends Baxter staggering backwards, now up against the ropes before the Knight gets a head of steam, bouncing off the opposite ropes once again and diving at Baxter with a running crossbody that sends both men over the top rope, crashing down to ringside much to the delight of the fans.
Now at ringside, Halloween Knight is up first and is fired up, playing to the excited fans at ringside as he slides back into the ring. Baxter grabs the ring apron and begins to pull himself up as the Knight runs to the ropes..
SUICIDE DIVE!
But Baxter catches him diving out with a stiff FOREARM to the face to counter the dive!
Rod Sterling: “That may have been one high risk too many this early in the match. Bryan Baxter just clocked him in midair!”
<< 03:44. >>
The tables had turned on Halloween Knight as Bryan Baxter kept the fight on the outside of the ring, laying into the Knight at ringside while taking moments to break the referee’s count. Knight struggles to try and find some distance from Baxter, who is much more in his element in the brawl outside the ring.
Anzu Kurosawa: “Halloween Knight really needs to find a way to get this match back into the ring. He’s not going to beat Bryan at his own game outside the ring.”
But Baxter continues to dominate as he lifts Knight up across his shoulder and then drops him down throat first across the safety rails. The fans at ringside let Bryan know what they think about him, but Bryan responds with a pair of double birds to one particularly obnoxious fan at ringside before he grabs Knight by the mask and tosses him right into the steel ring steps head first.
With the luchador folded up against the ring steps, Bryan begins to stomp a mudhole into the Knight while referee Richard Davis pleads with Bryan to bring the fight back into the ring. But the North American champion ignores the words of the FWA official, but he does back off of the Halloween Knight…
Only to charge in with a running knee!
But Halloween Knight moves out of the way! Bryan’s knee collides into those unforgiving steel ringsteps!
Baxter can be heard cursing as he grabs his leg in pain. The Halloween Knight pulls himself up using the ring apron and immediately tries to take advantage as he hits a swift kick right to that right knee. And another! And another!
Finally creating some distance, Halloween Knight rolls back into the ring. Baxter, hearing the count dangerously close to getting himself counted out, stumbles to the ring apron favoring his knee as he climbs back into the ring where a waiting Halloween Knight boots him right in the face!
<< 06:11. >>
Rod Sterling: “Halloween Knight has found the opening he needed and has turned all his attention to working over Bryan Bastard’s knee.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “And it’s working, Rod! He’s slowed the big man down and the North American champion may be in trouble here!”
After taking Bryan down with a dragon screw, once again targeting the knee… Knight rolled to the ropes, stepping out onto the apron. Knight fired up the fans at ringside with a dance on the apron, really riding the wave of momentum he’s on. He waits for Bryan to exert his own energy, slowly staggering up to his feet, struggling to keep his weight on that right leg.
Knight then springs up to the top ropes, shimmying on the ropes for a moment to the delight of the crowd before he dives off the ropes with a springboard Terror Tornado DDT!
Halloween Knight makes the cover!
One!
Two!
Thre– NO!
Baxter gets his shoulder up!
Knight doesn’t let the nearfall bother him as he goes back on the attack. He grabs Baxter by the head as the pair begin to get up, and he looks to hit the 3 Spooky Suplexes, but he struggles getting the three hundred pound Baxter up off the mat and Baxter fights it off attempting a suplex of his own, but he too struggles with Knight, his knee not letting him pick the luchador up for the suplex. Momentum shifts back to Knight, who once again attempts a suplex…
And this time he shows off a bit of his own strength as he does hit a vertical suplex to Baxter, but is unable to roll through for any additional suplexes and instead he climbs to the top turnbuckle..
FROG SPLASH to Baxter!
Knight with another pin!
One!
Two!
Thre - NO! Another kickout by the Bastard!
Rod Sterling: “Halloween Knight has Bryan Baxter in a lot of trouble here but can’t put him away!”
The Halloween Knight grabs Baxter, pulling him back up to his feet before Irish Whipping the big man into the corner. Knight charges in at BBB, looking for a corner clothesline, but Bryan moves out of the way! But Knight manages to avoid colliding with the turnbuckles himself, stopping his own momentum and then gracefully turning back around and charging out of the corner toward the staggered Baxter..
But Baxter catches Knight coming out of the corner with a quick POWERSLAM! BBB with the pin this time!
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Both competitors are slow to their feet, but Baxter strikes first with a huge discus lariat that sends Knight head over heels to the mat. After dropping a pair of headbutts down onto the Knight, Baxter signals that he’s ready to put his opponent away.
Rod Sterling: ”The Baxter Driver is on its way for Halloween Knight here. And that’ll be lights out.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “But wait Rod, Baxter is struggling with his knee! I don’t know if we’ve ever seen Big Bryan Bastard struggle to get someone up for the Baxter Driver but the damage seems to have been done!”
Sure enough, Bryan has lifted Knight up into the air vertically, but his knee begins to shake and he drops Knight back down on his feet. Halloween Knight takes advantage with a pair of elbows to rock Baxter backwards before once again showing off some strength as he picks Baxter up and bodyslams him to the mat.
Knight makes his way to the ropes and once again begins to climb the turnbuckles as Baxter starts to stir. BBB climbs up to his feet… staggering… as Knight stands upright on the top turnbuckle..
But Baxter falls over to the top ropes, causing Knight to lose his balance! He falls down, straddling the top turnbuckles as the crowd lets out a collective sympathy groan for the luchador.
Bryan makes his way over to the corner, slamming a series of forearms into Knight on the turnbuckle before using the leverage of the ropes to help lift up Knight, which eases some of that burden on his knee to already have Knight up in the air..
And he quickly delivers… THE BAXTER DRIVER!
Baxter pulls back on the legs for the pin.
One!
Two!
Three!
Winner: Big Bryan Bastard via pinfall at 09:28.
Bryan rolls back off of Knight and grabs the ropes, hobbling up on his left leg as Davis brings in the North American title which Baxter eagerly grabs.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "Here is your winner… BIG BRYAN BASTARD!!"
Rod Sterling: ”A valiant effort from the Halloween Knight comes pu short as Bryan Baxter uses the high risk move against him, using his opponent already being up on the top rope to help him land the Baxter Driver despite the weakened knee.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “Say what you want about Big Bryan Bastard, that’s some high ring IQ right there. And once again, he finds a way to walk out with a win.”
Rod Sterling: ”It puts Baxter off to another hot start to the F1 much like last year, while Halloween Knight already faces a hole. But it’s just one match for both of them… still plenty of action to go.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “And now Baxter has to worry about not just his next F1 opponent, one half of the tag champs Xavien Marshall… but he also has Mike Parr standing in the way between him and a record breaking title reign. That’s a whole lot for one man to have on his plate…”
Rod Sterling: ”And speaking of Parr… we got one more F1 match to go tonight and it’s our main event, and its up next!”
We fade out as Bryan celebrates his victory, lifting up the North American title amidst a sea of boos while he hobbles his way out of the ring.
We cut to backstage where Big Bryan Bastard is walking through the corridor, returning from his F1 victory, just happening to cross paths with Mike Parr as Parr is on his way out for his F1 match against MvH. They bump shoulders.
Mike Parr: “Tick tock, Baxter. Tick tock.”
Bryan Baxter: “Watch yourself, Parr. You see what just happened out there? I handled my business. Maybe take some notes. See how it’s done. And don’t spend much time thinkin’ bout me when you got Michelle to worry about.”
Mike Parr: “Don’t you worry about me. I’m not looking ahead. Just happy to remind you that your time is running out. I’m not letting you break my record. My belt is coming home.”
Bryan rolls his eyes, brushing past Baxter continuing on his way. Parr smirks as the camera now focuses on him as he begins his walk toward the ring as we cut back to Katie-Lynn.
There’s a loud, respectful pop for Mike Parr as the FWA veteran walks out onto the stage, surveying the audience before continuing down the ramp.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a Pool A contest scheduled for one-fall, with a twenty minute time limit… and is your Meltdown XXXVII main event! Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds… ‘the Prodigy’... MIKE PARR!!"
Rod Sterling: "We saw on A Very Crossfire Christmas that Mike Parr would get an opportunity at Bryan Bastard before his record FWA North American Championship reign was broken, and ‘the Prodigy’ has confirmed that - if successful in that challenge - that title will still be on the line in the final of this tournament."
Anzu Kurosawa: "Sounds like both he and Bryan Bastard are going to be busy boys over the next few weeks. We already saw the champion get off to winning ways against Halloween Knight in our last match, let’s see if Mike Parr can respond in kind, albeit in the opposite pool to Baxter."
The Prodigy warms up in his corner, and it’s clear from his body language that the weight of the moment - quite outside of the tournament and his forthcoming championship challenge - is apparent to him. His music fades out, eventually replaced by…
There’s a mixed reaction amongst the Hanoi audience for the familiar music, heard for the first time since August’s Back in Business. Moments later, Michelle von Horrowiz appears on stage, sans weasel suit, and she is stationary at the top of the ramp for a long time, taking the moment in before finally locking eyes with an old, half-forgotten adversary.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "And his opponent… from Rotterdam in the Netherlands and weighing in at fifty two kilograms… ‘Dreamer... Michelle… von… HORROWITZ!"
Rod Sterling: "Of course, it would be remiss of us not to mention that these two competitors shared a lengthy rivalry, lasting a year in late 2021 and 2022. Mike Parr started that feud with a lead pipe backstage, whilst Michelle von Horrowitz finished it by claiming the FWA World Championship at Back in Business XV."
Anzu Kurosawa: "MvH was never able to pin Mike Parr, though - during that exchange, their Iron Man match, won 1-0 by Parr, their Desert Storm 2021 main event, and both tag meetings in the Elite Tag Team Classic. We haven’t seen Michelle, at least in this guise, since that match against Jon Snowmantashi at Back in Business. And, as soon as she returns, she is met by one of her oldest and fiercest rivals."
Rod Sterling: "That’s the F1, Anzu. If Dreamer wants to retain her crown, there’ll be more old scores to settle later in the tournament."
Michelle is in the ring, where she and Mike stare at one another with passive expressions upon their faces. The official decides to forego his final checks after not getting a response from either of them. With the fans at fever pitch, he calls for the bell…
FOURTH MATCH || MAIN EVENT || 1/20.
Michelle von Horrowitz vs. Mike Parr.
Singles Match - F1 Climaxxx Pool A
Match writer: SS.
***
<< 00:00. >>
With the audience’s excitement reaching fever pitch, both the Prodigy and Dreamer let it build, waiting in their respective corners. Michelle is even smiling, somewhat surprisingly given their violent and storied history. Eventually, with Parr returning a focused glare in her direction, as if prompting her to get serious, the two begin to circle the ring, bringing it together in a collar and elbow tie-up…
***
<< 04:48. >>
Mike Parr has got the better of the opening exchanges, and now controls Michelle in the middle of the ring with a cravat. Dreamer is stranded, struggling to reach out to the ropes with flailing arms.
Rod Sterling: "Michelle attempted to return in kind to the technical exchanges from Parr, but the Prodigy’s prowess run out, and now she’s paying the price."
Anzu Kurosawa: "I think you’ve got to consider ring rust too, Rod. Michelle hasn’t wrestled much over the last few months, with only two matches to her name - under another name - since Back in Business."
Rod Sterling: "The same can be true of Mike Parr, and he seems to be shaking off the ring rust just fine…"
With Michelle finally inching her way towards the ropes, Parr brings her over with a snapmare and then connects with a dropkick to the back of the head when she’s seated infront of him! Michelle rolls out under the bottom rope, trying to escape, but Mike Parr grasps her in a front facelock, bringing her up and stepping back into the middle of the ring.
Rod Sterling: "Mike Parr lets the blood rush to Dreamer’s head here… before slamming her down with a delayed vertical suplex!"
Anzu Kurosawa: "Mike Parr with the cover…"
ONE… TWO… NO!
Michelle kicks out, and Mike Parr rises with a smile on his face. One that was noticeably absent before the start of the match. He methodically makes a circuit of von Horrowitz, stomping each body part as he goes, before picking up both of her legs.
Rod Sterling: "Mike Parr’s going for his inverted sharpshooter here! We’ve seen him end matches with this submission move before…"
Anzu Kurosawa: "But von Horrowitz reverses with a small package!!"
ONE… TWO… THR – NO!!
Rod Sterling: "MvH almost poaches victory, and she pops right back up to her feet as Parr rises across the ring…"
Anzu Kursowa: Busaiku knee kick?! No -- sidestepped by Parr, rear waistlock… high angle German suplex!!"[/b][/color]
Rod Sterling: "Mike Parr dumps her on the back of the head! With a bridge!!"
ONE… TWO… THR – NO!
Michelle kicks out! Parr glares at the official, silently telling him to count faster, before going back to work…
***
<< 10:31. >>
After dropping her with an inverted DDT, Parr lifts MvH up and grasps her from behind. He lifts her up, perhaps attempting a belly-to-back suplex… but Michelle is able to over-rotate! She lands on her feet behind him, and Parr turns around into a shotgun dropkick!
The force of it knocks Parr back and he hits the back of his head against the turnbuckles, giving Michelle time to climb to the top rope as he rises to his feet. Parr turns to face her….
Rod Sterling: "Michelle going for a shotgun dropkick from the top… but Parr catches her legs! And he turns her over with his inverted sharpshooter!!"
Anzu Kurosawa: "He’s got her in the middle of the ring, Rod! Michelle’s F1 dreams could take a serious dent in her opening match!"
There is a look of anguish on her face as she drags herself over towards the ropes, and when she’s halfway towards them she seems to give up. She slumps to the mat, her hand lifted as if she is about to tap, Parr wrenching further on the hold…
… before she drags herself the rest of the way and grabs onto the bottom rope! Parr utilises all of the five count, letting go at four point nine. He then watches on with a smirk as Dreamer pulls herself onto the outside, hoping to gain some respite from his onslaught…
***
<< 14:48. >>
Parr has continued to work the legs, and is now wrapping one of them around the steel post, locking in a figure 4 with the structure’s assistance. The official is obviously having none of it, demanding Parr relinquish, which he again does just before the five count is made. Parr slowly climbs the steel ring steps and re-enters the ring.
Rod Sterling: "I think Mike Parr believes it’s only a matter of time before he’s able to wrap this one up. He almost appears to be enjoying himself."
Anzu Kurosawa: "A matter of time, maybe, but he doesn’t have very much of it left. These matches are twenty minutes, Rod. He’s got less than five to finish Dreamer off."
When Parr has climbed back into the ring, Dreamer is sitting in the corner, struggling to get up to her feet after the sustained attack on her legs. Parr slowly saunters over, looming above her, even going so far as to place his hands on his hips…
… which allows Michelle to reach up, grab him by the waistband, and pull him through the second and third ropes! Mike Parr’s shoulder collides with the steel ring post with a sickening thud!
Rod Sterling: "Dreamer drags the Prodigy away from the corner with a schoolboy! His shoulders are down!"
ONE… TWO… THRE – NO!
Parr kicks out!
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: "Ladies and gentlemen… this is your FOUR MINUTE WARNING!!"
Parr rolls backwards after kicking out, and just about sees Dreamer charging at him. He sidesteps the oncoming busaiku knee kick…
Rolling cutter… no! Michelle catches him, applies a front face lock…
Rod Sterling: "Michelle wrenches Parr off his feet!"
Anzu Kurosawa: "BRAAAAAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Rod Sterling: "On the top of his head!!"
Michelle neglects to go for a cover, instead climbing up to the top rope and steadying herself on top…
Rod Sterling: "450 SPLASH?! NO! MIKE PARR ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!"
MvH crashes and burns and skids across the ring, allowing Parr to pounce…
Anzu Kurosawa: "ROLLING CUTTER! HE HITS IT! HE HITS IT!"
Rod Sterling: "Mike Parr with the cover!!"
ONE… TWO… THRE – NO!!
Rod Sterling: "Michelle kicks out!!! Unbelievable scenes!"
Parr simply scowls at the referee, eventually lifting himself up and staring down at the felled Michelle. He decides it’s time for him to climb himself, and he does so facing away from the ring, maybe looking for his moonsault-frogsplash. His climb is slow with the fatigue of the match, though, and it allows Dreamer to rise before he can get a proper foothold on the top turnbuckle…
Anzu Kurosawa: "Michelle cuts him off at the pass! She throws herself into the ropes, causing Parr to lose balance!"
The Prodigy lands split-legged over the top turnbuckle, facing away from the ring, and Dreamer thinks that this is her opportunity. She approaches from behind, attempting to drag Parr away from the corner in torture rack position…
Rod Sterling: "She’s not thinking…"
Anzu Kurosawa: "It seems Michelle’s going for the Burning Hammer, knowing how little time there is left in this one!!"!
Rod Sterling: "But Mike Parr is clinging onto that turnbuckle with all his might! She can’t wrench him away from it!"
Dreamer has to change tact, and she does so by climbing to the second rope with Parr. She nails three forearm smashes, and then three vicious headbutts! Parr finally loosens his grip on the turnbuckle as Michelle steps over the ropes, turning to face Parr…
Rod Sterling: "A THUDDING LARIAT!! Mike Parr is knocked from the top rope and lands on the top of his head!!!"
Anzu Kurosawa: "The crowd winces communally! Mike Parr is out!"
Rod Sterling: "The pinfall… it’s academic…"
ONE… TWO… THREE!!
Winner: Michelle von Horrowitz via pinfall at 18:40.
Michelle pulls herself up off her downed opponent, the personal enormity of this moment not lost on her. Mike Parr rolls out of the ring, and Dreamer allows herself a satisfied smile as the official raises her hand into the air.
Katie-Lynn Goldsmith: “Here is your winner… Michelle… von… Horrowitz!”
Rod Sterling: “A perfect start for the reigning F1 champion, who overcomes her old rival with some difficulty, the Prodigy taking her past the four minute warning.”
Anzu Kurosawa: “Michelle avoids sharing the points to join Konchu Hao at the top of Pool A, and that’s the man that she’ll face in two weeks time in Seoul.”
Michelle has climbed up onto the second turnbuckle, and there’s some disturbance when there’s motion on the stage. Michelle von Horrowitz turns her head, perhaps half-expecting to see Chris Peacock observing her, but instead finds the FWA North American Champion watching on from afar. Big Bryan Bastard has his big bastard belt on his shoulder and a curious look on his face.
And then, a cut to the crowd, where Xavien Marshall watches on casually, he doesn’t seem too impressed, his hunger obvious in his eyes.
Back to Michelle, who has her eyes on Baxter and his belt, as we fade to black.
Last edited:
