Thought I would throw down a few more promo reviews whilst I am here...
Reagan Cole - @The Gipper
So, I'm not quite sure whether it was intentional or not, but I think some of the way that the narrative was written did help add to how Reagan was feeling in the opening part of the promo. Things like "I mean...", "he just wants to get some sleep, man" allows us as readers to understand how he is feeling when having that interaction, as we've all been there. If it was intentional, those were great touches in giving off a sense of Reagan just being totally fed up. Did I miss a part where he was given a new room? As it went from 88 with the two fat ladies joke, to 666?
Anyway, YES! This is what I have been waiting on for so long and for Reagan to get called out for everything that has been going on and why he's sticking with Mason despite everything. I think had you had more time available then this promo had potential to be one of your best, only because the scope for progression with everything here was so high. There's definitely more to come from this, I hope. This was a very solid effort, Gip, and another one in what has been a line of good promos coming from Reagan Cole this year. With GO on the horizon, you're definitely picking up some steam at the right time.
Makima Snowmantashi - @weaselperson
Okay, so I'll be honest. I was conflicted as soon as I realised where this was going as I was hoping for more of a standalone piece to introduce us properly to Makima, but in this instance, it makes sense that there would be some linkage in here with the Nephews, given that her goal is to win this match to then go and face two of them. On that basis, it makes perfect sense that they'd be involved here in some capacity although arguably you have an unfair advantage of being able to use them carte blanche due to how close you are with dijo. Harry being able to read the inner monologue was great and the wiping his hands subtle hint to it before it was made clear was very good.
The concept for this promo was brilliant, with people all having someone matched with them to mimic the ability to choose their partner. I liked the Hateful Eight set up with the added touch of Makima pretending not to be who she said she was at first. It actually being a legitimate thing was a twist I should have expected from you but I did not. I do think that the promo being so high concept and securing creativity boosts does come at the costs of some character development. For example, Makima started out being very sure of herself and despite everything going on, remained very sure of herself. I accept that she did not encounter much adversity along the way as she believed she was fully in control the entire time, though.
I think this is a very strong promo and a fun introductory piece for Makima here in the FWA. You've left me wanting to read more from her and seeing where this all goes next. Good job.
Lizzie Rose - @AON
With everything going on with Lizzie at the moment, this kind of promo raises my eyebrow less than it otherwise would have. I think this is a good reflection of Lizzie sensing the change within herself that is happening as she becomes more and more drawn away from what she knows as reality. Lizzie may not get the win in this match, but I think this is still a very good development for her. Although I won't lie I was rooting for you to win this because Lizzie and Joe tag champs would be amazing, especially after we already almost beat Connection last year.
Tommy Bedlam - @Tommy Bedlam
Someone is playing a little game of "appeal to the graders", aren't they? Dodgeball is an amazing film and whilst this was not a case of the promo being made to fit around the plot of the movie, I liked the references to it throughout. When writing a promo for a multi-person match, it is easy to fall into the trap of by one means or another, the field either being eliminated from the promo or focus being shifted from each opponent in turn. It is something that has happened to me many times before, and I think you did slightly do that here as well. However, it is not to say that those kind of promos where each of your opponents are considered in turn are automatically bad, because they aren't (look at the Nova Diamond GO promo for example). What ensured that was still the case here was the renewed focus on Tommy throughout.
The references to switches and of course the ending of the promo really makes me a feel a certain way, as I know what it is in reference to. You will have boosted your QOC score at the end with the consideration of the next steps, as it adds weight to the importance of this match from Tommy's perspective. Like, why bother going for it in a match like this if you don't have that next step prepared for and a partner lined up? Really smart work there with that. This was very fun to read, and like Cole, Bedlam is definitely one of the characters that is on the up at the moment and has been for the last several months.
Noriko Kaitomi - @Momochi
Out of all of the promos for this match, this is one of the two I was looking forward to reading the most, along with Al Blizzard, as it is the first time that we have seen what you've got in a competitive promo, and I have got to say that this is a very promising character. First of all, I have no idea how you were able to format the image like that but it looks great. I really like descriptive writing styles, as I try to write in the same manner myself, and these opening sections are very strong in that way.
I really really liked the theme of this promo, with Noriko letting go of her younger self and it was actually a very moving and emotional piece of writing when the younger self disappeared away. The dolls being stand ins for opponents is something that can be seen quite often, but that does not mean that the metaphor doesn't work. With Noriko not having any existing link to anyone else in the match, it makes sense that she was the main focus of the promo. I thoroughly enjoyed this and I am really looking forward to seeing what comes next as the character becomes more established in-universe.
"with Noriko letting go of her younger self and it was actually a very moving and emotional piece of writing when the younger self disappeared away."
Letting go of her younger self was exactly what I was trying to convey! When I play it out in my head it's almost like a movie to me. If that makes sense? Oftentimes I find it hard to manifest that in my writing. So to me, that younger self disappearing was a sad moment and very emotional and I'm glad I was able to make that clear in my writing. I really really appreciate the fact you were able to, as the reader, feel that level of emotion too in some way.
Reading reviews like this gives me confidence moving forward, and again when I have the time I'd like to take the time and review some, myself.
Thanks a bunch Man