Smackdown Review- 5/18/07
We start off with what I think will be the match of the night, Matt Hardy vs. MVP. MVP pretty much beats Matt Hardy’s ass for a good portion of the match. As much as I don’t care about people having 500 moves or whatever, I like how MVP varies his offense. I didn’t see the Ballin elbow, though I might have missed it when I went potty. I also didn’t see that damn good belly to belly suplex that he can pull off. What I did see, is a lot of those stiff ass kicks he has. For a while I thought Edge threw the stiffest kick in the WWE but man, MVP is the new champ as far as I’m concerned. Something else I noticed, did anyone else hear the crowd BOO when Matt Hardy hit the side effect on MVP during his quasi-comeback? It was low but I heard it. What the fuck is that about? Why in God’s name would you boo Matt Hardy? Maybe we all have underestimated how over MVP really is with the fans. In any case, this was a hell of a match, well until the end when MVP used that gay ass finisher of his. It’s as contrived as the flipping piledriver and it just looks so phony. Then, after the match we get an MVP promo. When is the last time we had a promo in a ring with an interviewer? By my recollection, it’s been a while.
Before our second match, we get to see the Undertakers “spirit†(more like his BODY you guys) leave SD. It was cool to see and whoever comes up with the ideas that they use in these recaps needs a fucking raise because his idea to go BACKWARDS in time for this promo was God damned amazing.
Our second match is a 6 man tag. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BIG TAG!! We have all the gold on one side (Deuce, Domino, and Chavo) vs. all the challengers on the other side (London, Kendrick, and Jimmy Wang Yang). This was one damned good match. The question I have is, why the fuck do we have to see D and D vs. L and K every week? Like for almost what 2 to 3 months now, its been that every week. Can we get some more promo time? Perhaps a simple run in once in a while? Anyway, we get to see some great old school tag team psychology. “No ref, I didn’t do that at all, how can you accuse me of that!?†We get some fast tags to start but the heels slow it down after a stiff as shot from one of the D’s. Then the faces fight back into it. The match ends with Jimmy on the top rope, Grizzly Adams making the save, so to speak, and Mr. Yang hits a BEAUTIFUL moonsault to get the win.
Before we go to commercial, we hear Mizark Henry call himself a Silverback. For those of you who don’t know, a Silverback is a gorilla. Does anyone else notice the irony of a black man calling HIMSELF a monkey?
Squash time as Mark Henry takes on Funaki. The highlight of the match came from the commentary of JBL when he said about Funaki “Pour some salt on him because he’s lunch.†Anyway, Meeezark wins.
Hooray for match 4, Finlay vs. Chris Benoit. These guys always put on a wrestling clinic and this match is no different. The two stiff each other to begin with and go back and forth. Finlay ends up outside the ring and Benoit goes for his baseball slide but misses. Finlay takes over here as he throws Benoit into the stairs. And from here on in, Finaly just beats the holy hell out of Benoit’s leg. We go to break with a knee lock and we come back on the same knee lock. Ooo Finlay smashes Benoit’s knee onto the fold of the apron. Holy shit I haven’t seen that in a while. We get a hope spot, of sorts as Benoit lights Finlay’s ass up with a series of some of the loudest chop’s I’ve ever heard. Finlay takes back over but Benoit comes back with his triple Germans. In comes my Milwaukee homie, Horswaggle and Benoit tries a mini-sharpshooter. Finlay tries to cheat but Benoit locks in the Crossface. Before Finlay taps, MVP interferes and beats the living shiat out of Benoit.
WOOOOOOOO ITS FUCKING OZZY!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Jillian is still trying to do the “I can sing†bit. I wonder if Ozzy even knew she was there…
Anyway, Ozzy was fucking on. He didn’t slur an words or anything. Was that really him? Heh.
Ok so Sabu, RVD, Funaki, and Scotty 2 Hotty are all gone, yet the Miz remains? What the fuck. God this guy is awful. He gets the win with some cool looking finisher. It’d be more effective coming from a big man though.
Krystal and Teddy Long. Man, she is gonna turn on his ass so fast. And Vikki is not Stephanie McMahon. Vikki is grateful huh? Why doesn’t she REALLY show him how grateful she is. That’d make for some interesting tv.
Kane vs. William Regal is up next and wooo boy we get an appearance from the Boogeyman and the little Booger. I’m not gonna detail this one but I think Regal almost broke Kane’s neck. Regal picked Kane’s body up slightly under the bottom rope, then as Kane dropped, Regal hit a European uppercut. Wow. Anyway the big red blueberry wins. Don’t tell him I called him that, he might kill me.
Last up is the address by his highness Edge. All I have to say is WOW to that new pyro. IMO SD has the better wrestling, the better wrestlers, and has the BEST pyro. A Rated R carpet? Are you fucking kidding me? Why didn’t he get his own personal ball washer? Ha, Edge has little R’s next to his name on the WRC belt. God damn it, why is Batista wearing a pink tie? If he couldn’t tear me in half I’d say it looks a little Fheggalys. The show ends in a staredown, which is ok I guess. We had enough action to cover it. Anyway, that’s it for my first review of the greatest show on TV today!!!
We start off with what I think will be the match of the night, Matt Hardy vs. MVP. MVP pretty much beats Matt Hardy’s ass for a good portion of the match. As much as I don’t care about people having 500 moves or whatever, I like how MVP varies his offense. I didn’t see the Ballin elbow, though I might have missed it when I went potty. I also didn’t see that damn good belly to belly suplex that he can pull off. What I did see, is a lot of those stiff ass kicks he has. For a while I thought Edge threw the stiffest kick in the WWE but man, MVP is the new champ as far as I’m concerned. Something else I noticed, did anyone else hear the crowd BOO when Matt Hardy hit the side effect on MVP during his quasi-comeback? It was low but I heard it. What the fuck is that about? Why in God’s name would you boo Matt Hardy? Maybe we all have underestimated how over MVP really is with the fans. In any case, this was a hell of a match, well until the end when MVP used that gay ass finisher of his. It’s as contrived as the flipping piledriver and it just looks so phony. Then, after the match we get an MVP promo. When is the last time we had a promo in a ring with an interviewer? By my recollection, it’s been a while.
Before our second match, we get to see the Undertakers “spirit†(more like his BODY you guys) leave SD. It was cool to see and whoever comes up with the ideas that they use in these recaps needs a fucking raise because his idea to go BACKWARDS in time for this promo was God damned amazing.
Our second match is a 6 man tag. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BIG TAG!! We have all the gold on one side (Deuce, Domino, and Chavo) vs. all the challengers on the other side (London, Kendrick, and Jimmy Wang Yang). This was one damned good match. The question I have is, why the fuck do we have to see D and D vs. L and K every week? Like for almost what 2 to 3 months now, its been that every week. Can we get some more promo time? Perhaps a simple run in once in a while? Anyway, we get to see some great old school tag team psychology. “No ref, I didn’t do that at all, how can you accuse me of that!?†We get some fast tags to start but the heels slow it down after a stiff as shot from one of the D’s. Then the faces fight back into it. The match ends with Jimmy on the top rope, Grizzly Adams making the save, so to speak, and Mr. Yang hits a BEAUTIFUL moonsault to get the win.
Before we go to commercial, we hear Mizark Henry call himself a Silverback. For those of you who don’t know, a Silverback is a gorilla. Does anyone else notice the irony of a black man calling HIMSELF a monkey?
Squash time as Mark Henry takes on Funaki. The highlight of the match came from the commentary of JBL when he said about Funaki “Pour some salt on him because he’s lunch.†Anyway, Meeezark wins.
Hooray for match 4, Finlay vs. Chris Benoit. These guys always put on a wrestling clinic and this match is no different. The two stiff each other to begin with and go back and forth. Finlay ends up outside the ring and Benoit goes for his baseball slide but misses. Finlay takes over here as he throws Benoit into the stairs. And from here on in, Finaly just beats the holy hell out of Benoit’s leg. We go to break with a knee lock and we come back on the same knee lock. Ooo Finlay smashes Benoit’s knee onto the fold of the apron. Holy shit I haven’t seen that in a while. We get a hope spot, of sorts as Benoit lights Finlay’s ass up with a series of some of the loudest chop’s I’ve ever heard. Finlay takes back over but Benoit comes back with his triple Germans. In comes my Milwaukee homie, Horswaggle and Benoit tries a mini-sharpshooter. Finlay tries to cheat but Benoit locks in the Crossface. Before Finlay taps, MVP interferes and beats the living shiat out of Benoit.
WOOOOOOOO ITS FUCKING OZZY!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Jillian is still trying to do the “I can sing†bit. I wonder if Ozzy even knew she was there…
Anyway, Ozzy was fucking on. He didn’t slur an words or anything. Was that really him? Heh.
Ok so Sabu, RVD, Funaki, and Scotty 2 Hotty are all gone, yet the Miz remains? What the fuck. God this guy is awful. He gets the win with some cool looking finisher. It’d be more effective coming from a big man though.
Krystal and Teddy Long. Man, she is gonna turn on his ass so fast. And Vikki is not Stephanie McMahon. Vikki is grateful huh? Why doesn’t she REALLY show him how grateful she is. That’d make for some interesting tv.
Kane vs. William Regal is up next and wooo boy we get an appearance from the Boogeyman and the little Booger. I’m not gonna detail this one but I think Regal almost broke Kane’s neck. Regal picked Kane’s body up slightly under the bottom rope, then as Kane dropped, Regal hit a European uppercut. Wow. Anyway the big red blueberry wins. Don’t tell him I called him that, he might kill me.
Last up is the address by his highness Edge. All I have to say is WOW to that new pyro. IMO SD has the better wrestling, the better wrestlers, and has the BEST pyro. A Rated R carpet? Are you fucking kidding me? Why didn’t he get his own personal ball washer? Ha, Edge has little R’s next to his name on the WRC belt. God damn it, why is Batista wearing a pink tie? If he couldn’t tear me in half I’d say it looks a little Fheggalys. The show ends in a staredown, which is ok I guess. We had enough action to cover it. Anyway, that’s it for my first review of the greatest show on TV today!!!
